92 Sermon Illustrations on Accountability

Just as a hidden iceberg destroyed the Titanic after the crew had ignored multiple warnings, lives and ministries of pastors and other church staff are being destroyed at a remarkable rate by sexual infidelity, the president of the Southern Baptist North American Mission Board warns. Robert E. Reccord is author of the book "Beneath the Surface: Steering Clear of the Dangers That Could Leave You Shipwrecked," published by the Broadman & Holman Publishers.

Reccord cited survey statistics from the book "Men's Secret Wars" by Patrick Means that indicated 64 percent of pastors or church staff struggled with sexual addiction or compulsion. Twenty-five percent admitted to having sexual intercourse with someone besides their wife while married, and after they had accepted Christ. Another 14 percent admitted some form of sexual contact short of intercourse.

Reccord told of a difficult conversation he had several years ago with a friend in the ministry who had fallen because of adultery. He asked him, "What in the world were you doing? Didn't you hear the alarm bells going off?" There was a long silence, Reccord said, then the man answered, "Oh Bob, I did hear the alarms. I heard the alarms plainly. But when I heard the alarms I decided to disconnect the wires."

There is a repeatable pattern that often occurs with many kinds of sin, a pattern that first appeared in the Garden of Eden, Reccord said. First, Eve questioned whether God really said it was wrong. Then she contradicted God, rationalizing that he really didn't have her best interests at heart when he told her not to eat of the fruit.

"I find that the only time I'm really open to saying, 'Did God really say?' is when I believe God isn't giving me his best. I think he's holding back something from me," Reccord said.

He told how Joseph and David from Scripture reacted differently when faced with sexual temptation, Joseph from Potiphar's wife and David from Bathsheba.

While David overestimated his strength and yielded to temptation, Reccord said, Joseph recognized his own weakness and fled immediately at the first signs. Some of the highest-profile leaders fall hard precisely because they think, like David, that they are invulnerable.

"Just as much as [Satan] attacks at your weakest point, he also attacks you at what you think is your strongest point," Reccord said, later adding that life-altering sin can happen remarkably quickly. "There is not a person in this room that is not one step from stupid at any given moment."

Reccord also noted the importance of every Christian leader having someone to whom he is accountable, someone who will ask him the hard questions about his personal life and thoughts. He noted research which found little in common among more than 200 fallen ministers except two things: all no longer had a regular quiet time in fellowship with God, and none had made themselves accountable to a person or group.

"Nobody takes accountability from you," he said. "You've got to give accountability. You've got to go to someone and say, 'I need your help.'"

Reccord also pointed to God's warning through Moses in Deuteronomy of the dangers of turning toward false gods.

"The minute you start looking to something or someone to provide what only God can provide, you are worshiping other gods," he said.

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While marriages are failing at epidemic proportions among both Christians and non-Christians, couples can protect their relationships from ruin by implementing safeguards of accountability, says Bob Reccord, president of the North American Mission Board and author of the newly published book, "Beneath The Surface -- Steering Clear of The Dangers that Could Leave You Shipwrecked."

But accountability, Reccord said, cannot be forced on someone. "People don't just come up and take accountability on your behalf, you have to grant it," Reccord said. "You have to say I need you to help me be accountable."

Reccord said it is important to have someone who can ask you the tough personal questions regarding your private life, such as your thoughts or what you've been viewing on the Internet.

"Accountability is 'I want the very best in your life. I want you to succeed. Therefore, I'm willing to do whatever it takes for you to succeed in your walk.' If that's my view of you, then out of love, I have no choice but to go to you."

Reccord and his wife, Cheryl, spoke candidly with James Dobson, founder and host of "Focus On The Family," about how they've been able to avoid temptations to be unfaithful during their 30-year marriage.

The Reccords shared how the demands of work schedules and parenting put a strain on their relationship early in their marriage.

"I can remember sitting on the couch one night, and our second child, our son, was less than a year old at that point, and it suddenly dawned on me as I sat there by myself for another night, that it was more natural for Bob to be gone than it was for him to be home," Cheryl said. "He had really become kind of an interruption in our lives."

At the time, Bob's ministry had him traveling around the country 33 weeks a year.

"It was a crisis point," Cheryl recalled. "People would ask our oldest daughter, 'what does your daddy do?' and she would say he works on an airplane."

Cheryl said she knew something had to change when her feelings of loneliness were magnified when their pastor would call to check on her or compliment her about how she looked when Bob was out of town.

That's when Cheryl confided in her husband.

"It was a wake-up call to me," Reccord said. "It changed my life of understanding that as the husband, I'm responsible for more than just providing the house and finances. I'm responsible for making her feel secure and making her feel loved."

Reccord subsequently stepped down from his ministry position and began pastoring bi-vocationally.

Meanwhile, the Reccords learned later that their pastor had affairs with nine other women in their church, all of whose husbands traveled a lot in their jobs.

"It wasn't that we were on the verge of divorce," Cheryl recalled. "We weren't anywhere close. It wasn't like one of us had an affair. We'd never had that happened. We knew that if we didn't make some major changes in our life at that point we could head there."

While the Reccords heeded the warning signals and changed their lifestyle, statistics show that an alarming number of married couples, including those in full-time Christian ministry, ignore the danger signs, and like the infamous Titanic, sink into destruction.

"If you look back and study the history, they got six warnings of icebergs, and what sunk the Titanic wasn't what was above the surface, it was what was below it," Reccord said. "It's not the big stuff that brings us down, it's the culmination of the little stuff."

Citing 2000 census statistics that showed the number of single-parent households increased by 72 percent in the decade of the 90's, while the total number of original two-parent homes dropped below 25 percent for the first time, Reccord said the American family faces a crisis situation.

Although the cause of the problem, Reccord said, is obvious, it takes courage and discipline to implement the biblical principles necessary to protect husbands and wives from the lure of sexual infidelity.

"In the Book of James in the Bible, it says every man is drawn away by his own evil desires," Reccord said. "We can say the devil made me do it all we want, but Scripture is clear that we have a sin nature deep down in us."

Reccord identified three different stages of a marriage when couples are especially vulnerable to the temptation of marital unfaithfulness: about 2 years into the marriage; at the height of career success; and after the children are grown and out of the house.

"Cheryl and I have learned the value of dating weekly, finding something to celebrate monthly, escaping quarterly, and in my book we put in questions that we think every husband and wife ought to ask themselves at least once a year in a retreat," Reccord said.

"Beneath The Surface -- Steering Clear of the Dangers That Could Leave You Shipwrecked," identifies biblical principles for dealing with sexual temptation by comparing the Old Testament accounts of how David and Joseph responded when tempted sexually.

While David committed adultery with Bathsheba, Joseph fled the seductive grasp of his boss' wife. "(Joseph) said, 'How can I commit such a great sin against my God?'" Reccord recounted. "He understood that he was not only accountable to God, but to his own master, Potiphar."

Reccord concluded by saying that while consequences remain, anyone who has succumbed to sexual temptation, like David, can be completely restored by God's mercy and grace.

"If there is someone out there who is falling, it's not hopeless," Reccord said. "You can be put back together, but you've got to want to be, and you've got to say, 'I was wrong,' and then you've got to say, 'I need help and I want to be cleaned from the inside out,' and then 'I'm willing to turn 180 degrees and walk God's way, not mine.'"

Married for 16 years and with two great kids, Kurt Stansell seems to have it all together. He has a successful investment counseling business, and he's a founding elder at his church. And he's a sex addict. Kurt's the first to admit it.

For years, Kurt struggled with pornography. It started with magazines, but eventually turned into visits to Triple-X theaters and strip joints. Kurt kept repeating a cycle of guilt and remorse, then prayer and repentance, only to find himself back at it again.

Eventually, Kurt found an accountability partner named Stan. At first, Kurt held back, being less than honest about his problem. But when he finally confessed, telling Stan the whole truth, Kurt immediately felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. He was on the road to victory.

"I began to understand what shame does," Kurt says. "When we Christians try to hide something in the darkness, we give Satan incredible license to work in our lives. So, the more open I could be, the less of a hold Satan seemed to have."

Preaching Today

ACCOUNTABILITY

On February 26, 1995, Barings, the oldest bank in Britain, announced it was seeking bankruptcy protection after losing nearly one billion dollars in a stock gamble. At the time Barings went under, the bank held assets for Queen Elizabeth, some $100 million according to Time magazine.

In late 1994, the chief trader at Barings's Singapore office began betting big on Japan's Nikkei market. Then disaster struck. An earthquake hit Kobe, Japan, and on January 23, 1995, the Nikkei plunged more than one thousand points.

Barings Bank lost big money. But instead of cutting his losses, Barings's Singapore trader doubled his investment, apparently hoping that the Nikkei would rebound. It didn't. As the Nikkei continued to plummet, Barings's London office put up nearly $900 million to support its falling position on the Singapore investments. Finally Barings ran out of capital and declared bankruptcy.

How could one twenty-eight-year-old trader in Singapore lose nearly a billion dollars and ruin a 233-year-old British bank? According to Time, the problem was lack of supervision.

London allowed [the Singapore trader] to take control of both the trading desk and the backroom settlement operation in Singapore. It is a mix that can be-and in this case was toxic.... For a trader to keep his own books is like a schoolboy getting to grade his own tests; the temptation to cheat can be overwhelming, particularly if the stakes are high enough.

Without accountability, temptation becomes all the more tempting. Accountability protects us from ourselves.

Deception, Integrity, Management, Risk, Temptation

Prov. 4:26; 10:9; 14:8; 2 Cor. 8:21; Eph. 5:21

Contemporary Illustrations For Preachers, Teachers, & Writers

Editor Craig Brian Larson, Baker Books, p. 10.

ACCOUNTABILITY

The following is a collection of actual excuses for missing school that were turned in by students and reported in Seventeen magazine:

My son is under a doctor's care and could not take P.E. yesterday. Please execute him.

Please excuse Cynthia for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Please excuse Tom for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.

Please excuse Danny for being. It was his father's fault.

Richard had an acre in his side.

Please excuse Timothy for being absent last week. He could not talk because of Larry and Gitus.

Please excuse Nancy for staying home. The doctor said that her lungs are too full to be outside.

Please excuse Robert for being absent. He had a cold and could not breed well.

People have all sorts of excuses for the things they do. Some are legitimate, some are not. A teenage boy in Washington was recently acquitted of murder charges on the grounds that he was "morally handicapped." It wasn't his fault-said the judge that he shot and killed a fellow student. He had an excuse.

Life, perhaps unfortunately in some minds, doesn't work that way. Sooner or later we all have to take responsibility for who we are and what we do. We can't keep blaming our behavior on someone or something else.

Scripture teaches that we will be held accountable to God for our actions. (See Romans 3:19.) When we stand before the judgment seat of God, we won't be able to hand Him an excuse from our mothers or from anyone else and expect to be released from guilt. As Jesus put it, "They have no excuse for their sin" (John 15:22).

That's why Jesus came. He is our excuse. He is the note that gets us off the hook. When we believe in Him and follow Him as His disciples, we are released from our guilt. Christ stands with us at the judgment seat and says, "Please excuse He/she belongs to Me." And that's okay with God.

Hot Illustrations For Youth Talks

Wayne Rice, Zondervan, pp. 89-90.

This election year, Christians can expect to be criticized for injecting moral values into American public life — of being MORALISTS. This derisive term often puts Christians on the defensive and causes them to be apologetic for their convictions.

I have a better idea: Instead of being defensive, we ought to say, “You're doggone right I'm a moralist.” And our fellow citizens ought to be glad that we are. That moralistic streak is why people all over the world look to America for leadership. It's why America is different.

The impact of this moralistic streak, and the morally based public life it produces, can be seen in events all around the world. This attempt right now to bring democracy and freedom to the Middle East isn't only about national security. It stems from the moral conviction that tyranny and despotism are bad and democracy is good.

The only reason we care about the freedom of people thousands of miles away is our moralism and commitment to universal moral principles. Our concern for human rights is a product of America's Christian heritage. We refuse to sit idly by while the human rights of others are trampled.

Our moralism is why America, spurred on by its Christian citizens, works to combat the AIDS epidemic in Africa. It's why we are trying to eliminate scourges such as the international sex trade. Neither of these directly affect most Americans, but our moralism won't let us ignore the problem.

Human rights isn't the only area where morality plays an important part. The importance of moralism is seen clearly in the economic sphere. The success of the U.S. economy displays the effect of our moralism. We insist on openness in business transactions. We demand that contracts spell out the parties' obligations. We insist that books be opened to auditors and that fraud be prosecuted. And since the Bible teaches us that no man can serve two masters, we have laws requiring parties to reveal conflicts of interest.

Then there's the rule of law. Our moralism insists that people be held accountable for their agreements, and we prosecute people who break the rules.

In contrast, Russia, a resource-rich nation, has few of these moral safeguards. The lack of openness and accountability has hampered Russia's attempts to build a thriving free economy. Corruption and a lack of accountability have allowed former communist officials and the Russian mafia to steal billions behind closed doors. This has left millions of ordinary Russians without any real stake in their country's financial well being.

While Russia and other countries have made bad policy choices, it's hard to avoid the conclusion that the lack of morality has undermined the economic development of these countries, just as crony capitalism has in the third world.

So, the next time you hear Christians accused of moralism, smile and reply like I do, “You're right! And it's a good thing, too.” Point out to your neighbors the real root of the world economic crisis. They need to know that doing the right thing isn't only good for our souls; it also makes the world a better place to live.

FOR FURTHER READING AND INFORMATION:

• At the “Christians in the Marketplace” BreakPoint worldview conference, speakers discussed the role of Christian worldview in today's business sector and marketplace, how businesses should apply ethical standards to their practices, and how our work should be viewed as a calling — an opportunity to serve God in our business. A CD set is available.

• Elisabeth Bumiller, “Evangelicals Sway White House on Human Rights Issues Abroad,” New York Times, 26 October 2003.

• George Neumayr, “Midland Ministers to the World,” American Spectator, 8 December 2003.

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Copyright (c) 2004 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint with Chuck Colson” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

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Years ago I took on a full-time, volunteer role in my church. Within the first few weeks, I sensed the chemistry going bad between my supervisor (the senior pastor) and me.

For instance, I would state a new idea and receive a lackluster response. When he would ask about the progress of certain projects, he didn’t offer any input, but he seemed dissatisfied.

It felt as if he was holding something back.

When I asked him if something was wrong, he admitted, “I don’t know how to treat you because you are a volunteer. I can’t hold you accountable.”

“How about if you just treat me like a paid person,” I said, “and let’s get on with it!”

He laughed but honored my suggestion.

How does a church hold its volunteers accountable? Only by rethinking your entire approach.

From volunteer to minister:

I first served at the church on the stewardship committee. I wasn’t excited about it, but my husband was an elder, and he had asked me to help. I filled the role of planning dinners to celebrate Recommitment Sunday. Afterward I felt I had served the church well but was relieved it was over.

Several weeks later, my pastor was talking about the upcoming new-member class, and I mentioned that when I took the class, it was one of my favorite experiences in the church.

He invited me to help him welcome visitors in the class, and I said yes on the spot. I found I had a knack for making newcomers feel at home. The morning after the new-member class, I called my pastor to tell him tidbits about people I had met and to thank him for inviting me.

I asked him how new people got connected into the church. He gave me the name of the elder responsible for the ministry and suggested I ask her. I called the elder and asked if I could serve on her committee. Helen laughed and said that was the first time anyone had asked to be on a committee!

That was the beginning of my transformation from a volunteer to a minister.

Sometimes the word volunteer has the wrong connotation. I volunteer at the Red Cross or at the PTA. I serve in my church. Any discussion of overseeing lay people in the church starts by recognizing that distinction.

Learning to trust volunteers

To reorient a church’s mind set, start by assessing how the church currently relates to the people who serve there. The tip off is often what you overhear. For instance:

• “Volunteers just aren’t dependable.”

• “Using volunteers will cause the level of quality to go down.”

• “What can you expect? She’s just a volunteer.”

• That sort of language signals a volunteer-management mind-set.

Another issue is trust: Does your church communicate that it really trusts lay people to accomplish the ministry?

Once during a stewardship campaign, a pastor came to a stewardship committee meeting already in progress. The leader of the committee was not present because of a prior work commitment and had appointed a committee member to chair the meeting. The pastor assumed the lay leader had not followed up on a few details for the meeting. The pastor expressed his concerns to the group and then later made several follow-up calls. Each call proved him wrong. That embarrassed him and offended the lay leader.

In contrast, another pastor trusted several lay leaders to develop a plan to address the needs of the pastoral and support staff. While many of the staff felt anxiety about their roles being redefined by laity, the senior pastor didn’t meddle in the process. He believed in the talent and commitment of the lay leaders, and that the Holy Spirit would work in the process. The result was a plan that honored and protected the pastoral staff, freeing them of much administrative responsibility.

When the work isn’t done

Accountability is often learned by experiencing the impact of “what I didn’t do.” Trusting people means allowing them to fail.

Jim kept our church’s food pantry stocked. Shortly after he assumed that responsibility, he went away on a brief trip, failing to inform anyone. Nor did he make arrangements for others to stock the pantry. Upon his return, he arrived at the church just as we were turning away hungry people who were relying on that food as their only meal of the day.

Jim was stunned; he had assumed someone would cover for him.

I talked with Jim afterward and listened to his surprise that no one picked up the ball. I reminded him that we accepted his yes as a commitment and that we believed in his heart for the ministry and trusted him with full responsibility for it. I reiterated our value for ‘every member a minister’ and that he was the minister responsible for the food pantry.

When Jim left, he said, “I understand, and you can count on me from now on.”

As Janet Kornblum of USA TODAY remarks, America's teenagers are growing up “with a mouse in one hand and a remote control in the other.” The generation Microsoft founder Bill Gates calls “Generation E” has never known a time when information was not instantly accessible on the internet, or when communication was not available at warp speed through instant-messaging, e-mail, and Internet websites.

Make no mistake -- teenagers are wired and highly active online. According to the TEENAGE LIFE ONLINE report released by THE PEW INTERNET AND AMERICAN LIFE PROJECT, over seventeen million teenagers use the Internet. According to the report, that represents 73 percent of all teenagers. “Teenagers' use of the Internet plays a major role in their relationships with their friends, their families, and their schools,” the report explains.

All this leads to new opportunities, and to new dangers. One of the latest challenges faced by parents is the development of teenage blogging. Taking advantage of Internet websites such as MYSPACE, FACEBOOK, and XANGA, many teenagers and college students are creating personal blogs, which are essentially online diaries accessible to the public. As Kornblum explains, these teenagers “now pour out their hearts, minds, and angst in personal online diaries.”

She also describes the problem this way: “And anyone with a connection -- including would-be predators -- can have a front-row view of this once-secretive teenage passion play.”

Kornblum is correct. Teenagers are using blogs in unprecedented numbers. What was once communicated through phone conversations is now handled by instant-messaging. The content once secreted in the pages of hand-written diaries is now out for public consumption, and often with intimate details and personal information.

Paul Saffo of the INSTITUTE FOR THE FUTURE in Menlo Park, California explains, “This is the new way kids interact. Fifty years ago, they borrowed their parents' phones or made their own phones out of string and Dixie cups. Today they have their own cell phones, and they have their own computer accounts and Web pages, and they have their own blogs. It's part of life in the cyber age.”

The Pew study estimates that at least four million teenagers now blog. These numbers do not even include pages found at some of the most popular Internet sites where young people are posting personal information and putting up personal Web pages.

Most observers agree that girls dominate blogging, even as in previous generations girls were far more likely than boys to keep personal diaries. Far too many parents are unaware of the dangers that lurk on the Internet.

Others are keeping a watchful eye on their children and their blogs. THE WALL STREET JOURNAL recently reported that increasing numbers of parents have resorted to “spying” on their teenagers by visiting their blogs. Reporter Kevin J. Delaney took a look at this issue through the lens of one mother and her teenage daughter. This mother discovered that the daughter had lied about going to a high school football game with friends. By reading the girl's blog, this mom discovered that her daughter had actually gotten into the car of a boy the mother did not even know and had gone to an ice-cream shop without permission.

Her daughter quickly figured out that her mother had traced her activities through her online diary and blog. Since then, this mom has attempted to use software programs to snoop on her daughter's Internet use and the revelations of her personal life. According to Delaney, the mom spends approximately thirty minutes a day monitoring her daughter's activities on and off the Internet.

“If my daughter had a diary in her room, I would not read it. But what she posts on the Internet is posted to the entire world,” the mother reported. Amazingly, some claim that teenagers' blogs should be off-limits to parents. As Janet Kornblum reports, “Experts are divided about whether and how parents should treat the journals -- especially when it comes to teens over 13.” Some argue that, since the material is published in public view, there should be no assumption of privacy. Others, Kornblum reports, “argue that reading journals is no different from eavesdropping on their kids.”

This debate tells us a great deal about how American culture has shifted authority from parents to teenagers. How can a concerned and loving parent NOT follow their teenagers' online activities? No doubt, it's a dangerous world out there. Furthermore, Christian parents should be very suspicious about any claims to “privacy” on the part of their teenage children.

The emergence of teenage blogs has created problems, not only for parents, but for high schools and colleges. Officials at NORTH CAROLINA STATE UNIVERSITY brought charges against several underage students when a residential advisor found on their Facebook blogs a picture of them drinking. “There is no reasonable expectation of privacy,” said Paul Cousins, director of the office of student conduct at the university. “So I have no concerns about any university becoming aware of an issue via Facebook and then following up on those concerns.”

In some cases, online blogging has led to real danger. Taylor Behl, a seventeen-year-old freshman at VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH UNIVERSITY was murdered this fall. Though officials are not certain whether her online activities had any direct relation to her death, Behl had used MySpace and similar sites and had posted intimate details and personal information. Pam Lepley, a spokeswoman for the university, told reporter Alorie Gilbert of NEWS.COM, “In the course of the investigation it became very apparent to university officials just how much information she had put out about herself online. She and thousands of other people her age put out these Web pages and may not know how vulnerable it could make them.” Lepley further explained, “In their own minds, they're sitting in their dorm room or at home, and they have a sense of privacy -- and they really don't have it at all.”

Furthermore, parents are often shocked by what they find at their kids' blogs. As one report summarizes: “Teens complain about parents and homework, using language that will make Tony Soprano blush. They share daily dramas, post songs from the latest bands, display pictures of themselves, sometimes wearing next to nothing or taking bong hits. They write angst-ridden poetry, detail supposed sexual exploits and complain about each other or offer support. But mostly they simply relay the details of their everyday lives.”

Some school officials have discovered further grounds for concern. Vauhini Vara of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL reports that school principals now monitor many blogs. In this report, Vara told of one sixteen-year-old girl at Paramus High School in Paramus, New Jersey who was suspended after teasing a classmate during school and implying he was homosexual. At home, even during her suspension, she posted some comments on her blog, including a post in which she heaped further scorn upon the boy. The school considered these comments to constitute harassing behavior, and the girl was suspended for three more days. The girl's parents have complained to school officials. “It's inappropriate that they're telling my daughter how to behave when she's not at school,” said her father. “It was such a violation of the First Amendment.” Once again, this development indicates how the pattern of authority has been radically changed. Many parents now fight for their children's “right” to harass fellow students, to criticize school officials, and to make virtually unrestricted comments online.

Christian parents must see the fallacy in this argument and the danger in forfeiting their parental responsibility. This generation of teenagers desperately needs parents who will reassert their authority and fulfill their responsibility to protect, monitor, and supervise their children.

Responsible Christian parents will establish clear boundaries and rules for their childrens' use of the Internet. There should be absolutely no expectation of privacy when it comes to what their teenagers are doing and writing on the Internet. The stakes are simply too high.

A sixteen-year-old girl in Port Washington, New York was molested by a man who had tracked her down because she had listed personal information on her MySpace profile. Many teenagers claim to understand the danger. One seventeen-year-old girl retorted, “I watch Oprah. I know what happens.” Maybe so -- but maybe not.

Parents would do well to limit all Internet access by teenagers. In general, teenagers are spending far too much time online and less time engaging in interaction with friends, parents, siblings, and other family members. To a great extent, the emergence of an online teen community means that teenagers now have a new and powerful mechanism for retreating into an adolescent-only world, cut off from adult contact and supervision.

This is neither healthy nor safe, and parents who neglect to protect their children online are putting their teens at risk. Teenagers with unrestricted access to the computer and the Internet are as vulnerable as adolescents who would be given an automobile with unrestricted access and virtually limitless speed. In reality, the situation is even worse, for there is no adequate police force on the Internet. It's a dangerous world out there and America's parents need to act before these dangers hit close to home.

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While teaching a group of leaders about goals, I suggested that they write specific, measurable goals and hold each other accountable to them. Before I could finish, one of the newer guys-let’s call him Mr. Helpful-said, “Great! What’s one of your goals?” Being on the spot, I said, “To lose 20 pounds.”

“Terrific,” Mr. Helpful said. “I’ll bring a scale every week. You can stand on it, and we’ll see how well you’re doing.”

I tried without luck to slip out of the arrangement. So every week Mr. Helpful brought the scale. I did all right for a while, but then one week I just pigged out. I knew I had not only not lost weight but gained some. Fearing the meeting that week, I was relieved when Mr. Helpful showed up without his scale.

It was no problem, I told the group. I’d go upstairs to my scale, weigh myself, and then tell them the results. Well, Mr. Helpful would have none of that: he made me go up, get the scale, and bring it down to the meeting.

Holding yourself and others accountable in doing what you say you’re going to do may seem hard. But it’s a key element in bringing about real, lasting change in our lives.

"Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they reprove me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it" (Psalm 141:5)

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Ron Jenson, adapted from FATHERS AND SONS (Broadman & Holman, 1998)

Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine. May/June 2006, Vol. 9, No. 3

He said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that re-main, that nothing be lost. — John 6:12.

The food had been miraculously provided, generously dispensed, and freely enjoyed, but, even so, there was none to waste. There are at least three lessons we may learn: To waste is wrong. Dare we be less careful than He was? The total was astonishing. What return did the giver receive on the investment? The fragments were accountable. How about the fragments we lose of time, money, influence? — W. H. SURGENOR.

Our life is made entirely of moments multiplied,

As little streamlets joining, form the ocean’s tide.

Our hours, our days, our months, our years,

Are in small moments given:

They constitute our time below,

Eternity in Heaven.

When Mark Zuckerberg was a teenager at Phillips Exeter Academy, he kept up with students’ names and faces by using a “face book” -- a booklet published annually containing the names and pictures of students and faculty.

Zuckerberg is now 32 and a billionaire as the result of creating his own face book: Facebook.com, the largest social networking site on the Internet. Since Facebook has more than 1 billion registered users, there’s a chance you are a member or have a friend or relative who is.

A place where lots of people know your name

The TV comedy “Cheers” used its theme song, “Where Everybody Knows Your Name,” to touch a nerve in American culture: the need to connect with others. Cheers’ characters met daily to stay in touch, proving the theme song’s premise: “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.”

That’s what Facebook has become -- a place for “friends” to share life. I put “friends” in quotations because on Facebook the term is used loosely, to put it mildly. If you aren’t familiar with Facebook, a “friend” is someone you are linked with and with whom you can share information, pictures and the like. Some people accumulate “friends” for the prestige factor. But most people genuinely want to be in touch with family, acquaintances and, yes, actual friends.

But there is another side to putting yourself “out there” on a social networking site like Facebook.

Your life –- for all the world to see

Once you go public on Facebook, you are inviting the entire world to know about your life -- or at least hundreds of “friends.” The larger your “friends” network, the more likely someone will read something you thought would stay private and make it public. For that reason, Facebook becomes a source of accountability.

For Christians, Facebook is another opportunity to ask ourselves, Who am I? Who is the person I am presenting to the world? What are my friends learning about me? Is my Christian walk matching my Christian talk? Am I the same person on Facebook as I am in church?

Living a life above reproach

It’s always been true that “you can run, but you can’t hide” -- and the internet has made it doubly true. But we shouldn’t want to! What can we do to live the kind of life the apostle Paul called “blameless,” or “above reproach” (1 Timothy 3:2)? How can we live a life in which there is no dividing wall between public and private?

First, live intimately and honestly before God. When the double life King David had been living was brought to light by a prophet from God, he recorded his psalm of contrition for all to read (Psalm 51). What he thought was hidden had been in God’s sight all along.

David’s other great testament to transparency is found in Psalm 139 where he confessed that God is everywhere and sees everything. He concluded with what should be our prayer daily: “Search me, know me, test my heart, show me anything You see that I don’t see. And lead me in Your way” (Psalm 139:23-24, paraphrased).

Second, live openly before the Word of God. The writer of Hebrews reminds us that everything is “naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” God shows us what He sees in us by the “living and powerful” Word of God, revealing the “thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). Psalm 119:9 reminds us that we “cleanse” our way by “taking heed according to [God’s] word.” Meditating “day and night” on “the law of the LORD” will result in the “reproof” and “correction” we need (Psalm 1:2; 2 Timothy 3:16).

Third, live accountably before others. Hebrews 10:24-25 affirms that we are to motivate “one another” to live a life of “love and good works,” “exhorting one another.” Family is our first line of defense against living with double standards. The family of God should be second. If you are not in a small group or some other context with Christians, you are missing out on one of the chief blessings of the body of Christ: accountability for a life of holiness.

If you are a member of Facebook, use it as a place to cultivate the life you want your best friend, Jesus Christ, to see daily.

All believers will one day stand before the judgment seat of Christ (Romans 14:8-10; 1 Corinthians 3:11-15; 2 Corinthians 5:10). At that time each believer’s life will be thoroughly examined by Christ, the divine Judge.

► Can we lose our salvation at the judgment seat of Christ? No. Those who have placed faith in Christ are permanently saved, and nothing threatens that. Believers are eternally secure in their salvation (see John 10:28-30; Romans 8:29-39; Ephesians 1:13; 4:30; Hebrews 7:25). This judgment has to do with the reception or loss of rewards, depending upon whether the Christian has lived faithfully or unfaithfully during his or her earthly life (see 1 Corinthians 3:12-15).

► Will Christians be held accountable for all their actions on earth? Yes. The Christian’s judgment will focus on his or her personal stewardship of the gifts, talents, opportunities, and responsibilities given to him or her in this life. The very character of each Christian’s life and service will be utterly laid bare under the unerring and omniscient vision of Christ, whose eyes are “like a flame of fire” (Revelation 1:14). Numerous Scripture verses reveal that each of our actions will be judged before the Lord. For example, the psalmist affirmed to the Lord: “You will render to a man according to his work” (Psalm 62:12; see also Matthew 16:27). In Ephesians 6:7-8 we read that “whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord.”

► What about our thoughts? Will they be judged too? Though it might seem a bit unnerving, the answer is yes. In Jeremiah 17:10 God said, “I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” The Lord “will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart” (1 Corinthians 4:5). The Lord is the One “who searches mind and heart” (Revelation 2:23). So — all our motives will be laid bare.

► Will the words we spoke on earth come up at the judgment seat of Christ? Again, it’s a bit unnerving to think about, but the answer is yes. Christ once promised: “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37). Think about that for a minute. If even our careless words are carefully recorded, how much more will our calculated boastful claims, our cutting criticisms of others, our off-color jokes, and our unkind comments be taken into account? This is an important aspect of judgment, for tremendous damage can be done through the human tongue (see James 3:1-12).

► Is the judgment seat of Christ intended as an encouragement or a warning? Perhaps this judgment is intended to be both an encouragement and a warning. It is an encouragement to those who are consistently serving Christ with good motives. It is a warning to those who have fallen into carnal living. God will render perfect justice in the end.

Few questions test the Church’s commitment to both grace and truth more than how it responds when a pastor falls into sexual sin. In recent years, Christians have often swung between two extremes: permanent disqualification on one hand, and premature restoration on the other. Neither approach reflects the full counsel of Scripture.

Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness is unequivocal. When Peter asked how many times he must forgive a brother who sins against him, Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). Luke’s Gospel records Jesus pressing the point even further: “If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him” (Luke 17:4). Forgiveness, then, is not conditional on frequency, severity, or timing. Even repeated repentance within a single day requires forgiveness.

But Scripture never equates forgiveness with reinstatement to leadership.

Forgiveness restores relationship; leadership entrusts authority. Confusing these categories has caused deep harm in the Church — either by crushing repentant leaders under endless punishment or by exposing congregations to unnecessary risk. The Bible holds grace and responsibility together without collapsing one into the other.

Pastors are judged by a higher standard precisely because they carry spiritual authority. “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (James 3:1). The qualifications for overseers in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 emphasize being “above reproach,” “self-controlled,” and “faithful.” These are not demands for sinless perfection, but they do require credibility, maturity, and trustworthiness.

Scripture also draws a critical distinction between a fall and a pattern. A fall is a serious moral failure that is confessed, repented of, and addressed through discipline and accountability. A pattern, by contrast, is marked by repetition, escalation, deception, resistance to correction, or abuse of power. The Bible treats these very differently.

David committed adultery and arranged a murder — sins of staggering gravity — yet when confronted, he repented deeply and submitted to God’s judgment. Though he bore lifelong consequences, he was restored. Saul, however, demonstrated repeated disobedience and self-justification and ultimately lost the kingdom. The difference was not merely what they did, but who they became in response to correction.

True repentance is never measured by tears alone. Paul describes godly sorrow as producing earnestness, eagerness to clear oneself, indignation toward sin, fear of God, and perseverance (2 Corinthians 7:11). Genuine repentance accepts consequences, relinquishes power, submits to discipline, and allows time for fruit to be tested. Those who rush back to the pulpit often reveal that position, not transformation, is their priority.

Scripture cautions against both excessive punishment and hasty restoration. Paul urged the Corinthians to forgive and comfort a repentant man so that he would not be “overwhelmed by excessive sorrow,” warning that failure to do so could give Satan an advantage (2 Corinthians 2:7–11). Yet the same apostle warned Timothy, “Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands” (1 Timothy 5:22). Restoration must be deliberate, not reactionary.

At the same time, protection of the flock — especially the vulnerable — is non-negotiable. God condemns shepherds who harm the sheep (Ezekiel 34), and Jesus warned that it would be better to have a millstone tied around one’s neck than to cause a little one to stumble (Matthew 18:6). For this reason, anyone who demonstrates a pattern of sexual misconduct, exploitation, or abuse of authority must not be returned to positions of power, regardless of verbal repentance. Forgiveness does not override the Church’s responsibility to protect.

There is another uncomfortable truth the Church must acknowledge. Virtually every reader of this article has sinned sexually in some way — whether in thought, word, or deed. Jesus Himself made this clear when He said that lustful intent violates God’s design just as surely as outward acts (Matthew 5:27–28). Because sexual sin is so widespread, responses to it are often emotionally charged. History and pastoral experience alike suggest that those who condemn most fiercely are sometimes those least willing to face their own hidden failures. Without realizing it, people may project judgment outward in an effort to silence an inwardly accusing conscience.

This does not excuse sin, but it should temper judgment with humility. “Let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). The goal of discipline is not moral superiority, but restoration and protection grounded in truth.

The biblical standard, then, is neither sentimental grace that ignores wisdom (sloppy agape), nor unforgiving judgment that denies redemption. A pastor may be restored to ministry when the sin was not predatory, repentance is genuine and sustained, discipline has been real, time has passed, accountability is in place, and consistent fruit confirms transformation. A pastor should not be restored when sexual sin is habitual, repentance is superficial, deception persists, authority has been abused, or others remain at risk. That is not cruelty. It is faithfulness.

The Gospel demands forgiveness — repeatedly, even when repentance comes again and again in the same day. But the Gospel does not require the Church to place someone back into authority simply because forgiveness has been granted. Grace restores the sinner; wisdom governs the stewarding of power.

When the Church collapses forgiveness and leadership into one category, it either endangers the flock or denies the power of redemption. When it holds them together, grace and truth walk side by side.

The ultimate question is not whether a fallen pastor can be forgiven — Scripture answers that clearly. The question is whether restoring that pastor to leadership will honor Christ, reflect genuine repentance, and protect the people God loves.

The Rev. John Chambers, of Philadelphia, in a speech before the American Union, said:—

"A dealer in liquor was tried for some crime, convicted, and sentenced by Judge Parsons. The next day a lawyer waited upon the judge and told him he could show a defect in the proceedings wherefore the man should be released. 'O,' said the judge, 'that matter's settled.' 'But,' said the lawyer, 'he is a worthy man.' 'A worthy man!' said the judge, 'and make drunkards?' 'But,' said the lawyer, 'he is a good citizen.' 'A good citizen,' said the judge, 'and fill up our jails and almshouses and cause men to commit murder and arson, and every iniquity? That question's settled, sir, and the man must abide by the law.' The name of that judge was PARSONS, and may God send us more such parsons as these!"

There was a line waiting at the Pearly Gates to get into Heaven when suddenly there was a loud commotion near the front of the line with shouting, clapping and cheering. A man near the end of the line inquired of an angel as the source of the commotion. The angel answered, "A man up front just found out they're not counting Wednesday night prayer meetings."

Every person should seek to have three individuals in their life: a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy.

A Paul is an older person who is willing to mentor you, to build into your life. Not someone who’s smarter or more gifted than you, but somebody who’s been down the road. Somebody willing to share their strengths and weaknesses -- everything they have learned in the laboratory of life. Somebody whose faith you’ll want to imitate.

A Barnabas is a soul friend, somebody who loves you but is not impressed by you. Somebody to whom you can be accountable. Somebody who’s willing to keep you honest, who’s willing to say, “Hey, you’re neglecting your spouse, and don’t give me any guff!”

A Timothy is a younger person into whose life you are building. For a model, read 1st and 2nd Timothy. Here was Paul, the quintessential mentor, building into the life of his protégé -- affirming, encouraging, teaching, correcting, directing, praying.

Do you have these three people in your life?

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Howard Hendricks, Professor at Dallas Theological Seminary in MEN OF INTEGRITY, Vol. 1, no. 1; submitted by Malladi Murthy in India

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #5116]

Two destinies lie before all humans. Jesus spoke vigorously about judgment. Sometimes topic is abused: Jonathan Edward's "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" is quoted.

But judgment is a necessary message. We will all be held accountable. Our actions are significant. We are free to reject God.

1. Judgment, a present reality. John 3:18-20, Rom 1:18.

2. The final judgment. Acts 10:42, 2 Tim 4:1, 1 Pet 4:5.

Includes all people.

Is according to works.

3. Grounds of judgment.

Disregard for poor.

Possible to be religious and yet ungodly.

4. Outcome of judgment.

In the movie CASUALTIES OF WAR, Michael J. Fox plays Private Erikson, a soldier in Viet Nam who is part of a squad that abducts and rapes a young Vietnamese girl. He didn't participate in the crime.

Afterward, as he struggles with what has happened, he says to the other men in his squad, "Just because each of us might at any second be blown away, we're acting like we can do anything we want, as though it doesn't matter what we do. I'm thinking it's just the opposite. Because we might be dead in the next split second, maybe we gotta be extra careful what we do. Because maybe it matters more. Maybe it matters more that we ever know."

Death for all of us, is a breath away. And the nearer death is, the closer we are to answering to God for all we have said and done.

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Another version from King Duncan:

In the movie, CASUALTIES OF WAR, five American soldiers are on patrol in Vietnam. The sergeant in command decides to kidnap a young Vietnamese woman, so the soldiers can take turns raping her. Two of the group object. One of them has a rosary around his neck and when the group pressure wears him down, he takes off the crucifix, places it in his pocket, and then takes his turn raping the terrified girl. Only one of the men refused to participate in this despicable crime. Only one listened to his conscience and, thereby, kept it clean. At risk of his life, he reported the crime. This story really happened. To protect his life, he now lives in anonymity.

The conscientious soldier in the story commented that just because they were living in an environment where they could get blown away any second, his comrades felt that they could do anything that they wanted and it didn't matter. He felt that it was the other way around. Precisely because they could get blasted away any second, they had to be extra careful about what they did; what they did mattered even more.

It’s almost Halloween — a time when kids play trick- or-treat and visit haunted houses. Even churches get into the act these days, sponsoring so-called “Hell Houses,” with devils, pitchforks, and elevator trips to hell.

But when the excitement’s over, some kids may think this a just a story — jut a myth, like Santa Claus. If your youngster should ask you whether hell is real, would you know what to say? Well, you may find some helpful answers in my new book, Answers to Your Kids’ Questions.

The question of hell’s existence came up when I gave a talk in England a few years ago. The eminent historian Paul Johnson was in the audience that day and was given the opportunity to ask the first question. He said, “I think the biggest problem facing the modern age is what to do about the doctrine of hell. Mr. Colson, what do you think?”

Well, I was taken back. The question had nothing to do with my address. But, as thought about it, I realized just how right the question was.

You see, when the Church doesn’t clearly teach the doctrine of hell, society loses an important anchor. In a sense, knowing the reality of hell gives meaning to our lives — it makes our alternatives clear. And it tells us that the moral choices we make every day have eternal consequences.

When people don’t believe in final judgment, they don’t feel accountable for their actions. There’s nothing to restrain their sinful impulses. There’s no fear of God in their hearts.

People need to know that the doctrine of hell is not just some dusty theological holdover from the Middle Ages. It’s a fact, clearly set forth in Scripture, and clearly necessary if God is to hold his creation accountable. And it’s a fact with important social, as well as spiritual, consequences. Without the certainty of ultimate justice, our sense of moral obligation quickly dissolves, and social bonds are more easily broken.

But even when they understand that hell is a real place, your kids may wonder as if the Devil and his demons actually live there. The youth culture tends to make them into cartoon characters. But Scripture teaches the Devil and his demons are fallen angels, in rebellion against God. They’re just as real as their heavenly counterparts.

Now, don’t make the mistake of thinking that all evil is brought about by Satan and his demons. The Bible teaches that humans are responsible for most of the world’s evil. We can’t avoid responsibility by claiming, all the time, that we’re victims of spiritual warfare — or that we’re just pawns of supernatural powers.

And remember the converse: All good is not done by angels. We are the body, God’s people, who should accomplish works of righteousness in our society.

Well, this Halloween, you can help your kids get a balanced understanding of the reality of hell and demons. If they’re confused — if they think hell is just some fictional place inhabited by characters dressed in long, black capes — set them straight. And you may find some help in doing this in my book, Answers to Your Kids’ Questions. Call us here at BreakPoint, and we’ll tell you how to get a copy.

The book explains, not only the doctrine of hell, but how to avoid it — through the saving power of Jesus Christ.

No need for a fire extinguisher.

The Burgundians in France, in a statute now eleven hundred years old, attributed valor to the east of France because it had a law that the children should be taken to the limits of the district, and there soundly whipt, in order that they might forever remember the boundary-line.

— WENDELL PHILLIPS

He operated a small grocery store in the town of Sheridan, Arkansas,

in the 1940's. She was having company the next day so she went to the

store to buy what she needed for her meal preparation.

She told him she needed a "large chicken" since she was having a lot

of visitors. He pushed his hand down in the bin of ice where the

chickens were kept and came up with a chicken. When he put it on the

scale she stretched to see the weight and declared, "I need one larger

than that!"

So he put the chicken back down in the ice and fumbled for another. To

his chagrin he had no other chicken, so with that he pulled out the

same chicken and to the weight of it he added a hidden finger on the

back side of the scale.

When she eye-balled the scale she confidently declared, "I'll take

both chickens!"

To the day of his death his sons remembered the story. When told at

his funeral at their suggestion, the lady in the story, who happened

to be sitting next to my wife, shook the whole pew as she laughed.

The incident must have impressed him. As bad as the embarrassment was

that he did not have what the lady needed, it was worse that he was

caught trying to deceive her. Its a hard lesson; the truth is always

better the first time!

by Lawrence Barr

\reference{Gen. 43:12}{Genesis 43:12}; \reference{Lev.

19:35}{Leviticus 19:35}, \reference{36}{Leviticus 19:36};

\reference{Prov. 16:11}{Proverbs 16:11}; \reference{1 Th 4:11}{1

Thessalonians 4:11}; \reference{1 Pet. 2:12}{1 Peter 2:12}

This election year, Christians can expect to be criticized for injecting moral values into American public life — of being MORALISTS. This derisive term often puts Christians on the defensive and causes them to be apologetic for their convictions.

I have a better idea: Instead of being defensive, we ought to say, “You're doggone right I'm a moralist.” And our fellow citizens ought to be glad that we are. That moralistic streak is why people all over the world look to America for leadership. It's why America is different.

The impact of this moralistic streak, and the morally based public life it produces, can be seen in events all around the world. This attempt right now to bring democracy and freedom to the Middle East isn't only about national security. It stems from the moral conviction that tyranny and despotism are bad and democracy is good.

The only reason we care about the freedom of people thousands of miles away is our moralism and commitment to universal moral principles. Our concern for human rights is a product of America's Christian heritage. We refuse to sit idly by while the human rights of others are trampled.

Our moralism is why America, spurred on by its Christian citizens, works to combat the AIDS epidemic in Africa. It's why we are trying to eliminate scourges such as the international sex trade. Neither of these directly affect most Americans, but our moralism won't let us ignore the problem.

Human rights isn't the only area where morality plays an important part. The importance of moralism is seen clearly in the economic sphere. The success of the U.S. economy displays the effect of our moralism. We insist on openness in business transactions. We demand that contracts spell out the parties' obligations. We insist that books be opened to auditors and that fraud be prosecuted. And since the Bible teaches us that no man can serve two masters, we have laws requiring parties to reveal conflicts of interest.

Then there's the rule of law. Our moralism insists that people be held accountable for their agreements, and we prosecute people who break the rules.

In contrast, Russia, a resource-rich nation, has few of these moral safeguards. The lack of openness and accountability has hampered Russia's attempts to build a thriving free economy. Corruption and a lack of accountability have allowed former communist officials and the Russian mafia to steal billions behind closed doors. This has left millions of ordinary Russians without any real stake in their country's financial well being.

While Russia and other countries have made bad policy choices, it's hard to avoid the conclusion that the lack of morality has undermined the economic development of these countries, just as crony capitalism has in the third world.

So, the next time you hear Christians accused of moralism, smile and reply like I do, “You're right! And it's a good thing, too.” Point out to your neighbors the real root of the world economic crisis. They need to know that doing the right thing isn't only good for our souls; it also makes the world a better place to live.

FOR FURTHER READING AND INFORMATION:

• At the “Christians in the Marketplace” BreakPoint worldview conference, speakers discussed the role of Christian worldview in today's business sector and marketplace, how businesses should apply ethical standards to their practices, and how our work should be viewed as a calling — an opportunity to serve God in our business. A CD set is available.

• Elisabeth Bumiller, “Evangelicals Sway White House on Human Rights Issues Abroad,” New York Times, 26 October 2003.

• George Neumayr, “Midland Ministers to the World,” American Spectator, 8 December 2003.

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Copyright (c) 2004 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint with Chuck Colson” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

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If you find yourself longing for someone to talk to, a true friend to whom you can bare your soul, you are not alone. Recently, a Duke University researcher concluded that 25 percent of Americans have no one with whom they can have a meaningful conversation. And 50 percent of folks have two or less people of that sort in their lives. The statistics also indicate that the confidante network of the average American is shrinking.

These trends disturb me on a number of levels. In the culture at large, studies show that social isolation leads to greater risks for addiction, criminal tendencies, and depression. It also leaves the fabric of our community threadbare.

For the individual Christian, the amazing disappearing act of deep personal friendships is a tell-tale sign of spiritual malnutrition. Think about it. As Mindy Caliguire asks in her new small-group study guide, SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIP, “What do you do when you can’t stand the thought of praying, when the words of the Bible seem plastic and false ... when you have been doing everything ‘right’ and the bottom falls out?” It’s at these times when it is the spiritual friends who throw us a life-preserver. They are, as one Puritan prayer says, God’s “hands and fingers taking hold of me.”

But having trustworthy, life-giving friendships is also necessary for the ordinary business of spiritual growth in the daily routine. These are the people who can lovingly point out our blind spots, with whom we confess our struggles and our sins, who help us in discerning God’s leading in our lives, and who share our everyday joys and sorrows. David had his Jonathan, Naomi her Ruth, and even Jesus had an intimate circle of three among the 12.

The Irish called these special people ANAMACHARA, or soul friends. And around A.D. 600, when Christianity was spreading across that land more quickly than clover, soul friends were a mainstay of Christianity. In addition to spending regular times alone, times with the community at large, times with a small group, and times sharing the faith, each Christian had a soul-friend. According to scholar George G. Hunter, this was a peer, someone with whom one could be vulnerable AND accountable.

Not only were these soul-friendships seen as the necessary ingredient for iron-sharpening-iron, but they were also a primary tool for spreading the Christian worldview. Any time that seekers, refugees, or aliens found themselves in the midst of these Christian communities, a particular believer in that community befriended them with the intentionality of becoming a soul friend. It began with what they called “the ministry of conversation” and often lead to the miracle of conversion.

A biblical worldview teaches us that God is inherently relational. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit left their relational mark on us when they created man in their image. But today we live among people who, despite their cell phones, instant-messaging, and MySpace “friends,” are lonelier than ever. So seek out a soul friend yourself, and more importantly, be one. You can help make sure that a true friend is one thing that never becomes extinct.

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Copyright (c) 2007 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.