80 Sermon Illustrations on Stress

THOSE “TWO-FACED” PEOPLE

We've all seen and experienced them. In our less “professional” moments, perhaps we might have justly or unjustly lashed out at those whom we perceived to be two-faced, hypocritical, skin-deep “wolves in sheep's clothing” who, we feel, are just Judas's in disguise putting on a “show” or facade.

Whatever we call these types of people, perhaps the greatest thing that characterizes our reaction is, “How can they be so different?” “What made them change?” “What a fickle person!” and/or “I never expected that from them!”

WE ALL ARE A JEKYL AND HYDE

Discounting, of course, more serious mental disorders such as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), now more commonly referred to as Disassociative Identity Disorder (DID), virtually all of us have a “Jekyl and Hyde” aspect to our personalities.

A number of personality inventories recognize and test for this aspect of our personalities, among them the Personal Personality Profile (from Performax Systems). What these inventories recognize is that we generally have two preferred personality modes, a “non-anxious” and an “anxious mode.”

NON-ANXIOUS AND ANXIOUS MODES

The non-anxious mode refers to our personality characteristics when we are not under stress. It is this mode we use when we are not under pressure. It's the mode which we use when we're with others. It's the mode that we most often use when we're in the company of others. Above all, the behaviors demonstrated in the non-anxious mode are generally those behaviors which we would like to have others believe characterize us.

The anxious mode of behavior, however, refers to those behaviors with which we instinctively use to react to crises or anxiety-provoking events. When it's “do or die,” these are the behaviors that we prefer to draw on...whether they are healthy and constructive or not. Anxious behaviors tend to be instinctive. Behaviors in this mode may be made without regard to what others think, what they say, what is right, what is wrong, or what consequences may result from anxious reactions.or .

STRESS SHIFTS

Anxious behaviors may be rather frightfully surprising. Indeed, they often can catch us “off guard.” Yet, though their timing and manner of behavior may be unpredictable, the fact that there is a stress shift ought not surprise us. After all, it probably happens to us, too!

How many times have we noticed in ourselves that in our non-anxious mode we are happy, jovial and confident until anxiety comes. Then we erupt or internalize our emotions or, perhaps, we become aggressive or passive, controlling or easily led.

Under stress, perhaps we may become more vocal or physically reactive. Or, when anxious, perhaps we become more task-orientated or people-oriented than we “normally” are.

WE'RE ALL SUBJECT TO STRESS SHIFTS

These and other behavioral changes are all examples of the “stress shift” or, as we said above, the “Jekyl and Hyde” inside you. All of us are subject to these non-anxious and anxious stress shifts. We, like almost everyone else, may prefer one set of behaviors when not anxious and prefer a totally different set of behaviors when anxious.

The stress shift can be observed in individuals to varying degrees. Some individuals may have a radical stress shift while others may have less dramatic stress shifts. In some individuals, the stress shift can be so slight as to be virtually unnoticed.

EXAMINING OUR SYSTEM ROLES

Unless we live our lives in total hermetic isolation, our lives are conducted in various groups or sub-groups. Each group, family systems theorists tell us, has certain characteristic roles which can be identified. The main function of these roles is to sustain the equilibrium of each group.

At least six system roles have been identified which are generally found in every group, sub-group, or family. These are the Hero, the Enabler, the Spiritual Leader, the Lost Child, the Mascot, and the Scapegoat. Descriptions of each of the six system roles are as follows:

1) The Hero: The Hero is the member of the family who is the focus of positive energies. This individual “plays” or is “appointed” to be the one everyone admires. His or her achievements are always elevated while their mistakes are played down.

2) The Enabler: The Enabler is the one who is always helping others at great sacrifice to themselves, to keep things settled down. Enablers work to keep the lid on anxieties and to help shield the system from internal breakdown through compromise, repression, etc.

3) The Spiritual Leader: The Spiritual Leader in the family is the one to whom the family turns to for guidance, support, wisdom and insight. Though others may not be “spiritual,” the family's Spiritual Leader is the one to whom they turn with those items of religion, fate, and determining the will of God.

4) The Lost Child: The Lost Child is a loner who never finds themselves. Always in the midst of the family and looking for love and acceptance, the Lost Child is accommodated but not loved. The Lost Child is an emotional orphan neglected, uncured for, and left to take care of himself.

5) The Mascot: In response to the fear of being left out (as the Lost Child) and a dread of a guilt-ridden loneliness (as the Scapegoat), the Mascot is marked by visible behaviors which draw attention to himself. Positive Mascot behavior is marked by the ability to joke around, provide fun, humor and release of tension in the family. At other times they will be the “cute” one or clown that people point to and enjoy. Whether the Mascot's behavior is constructive or destruction, one thing is sure: the Mascot will be hard to ignore.

6) The Scapegoat: This family member is the constant recipient of unfair and hostile projections, many of which may be undeserved. As steam needs to be released from a boiling keg to keep it from bursting, so family and relationship systems need a release valve to ease the “pressure” of family. The Scapegoat is that release.

THE PRIMARY OBJECTIVE: EQUILIBRIUM

Whether Hero or Scapegoat, Enabler or Spiritual Leader, each of these system roles are shaped, encouraged, modeled, projected and reinforced to maintain the system's functional (or dysfunctional) level of equilibrium. When equilibrium is established, each non-anxious role is largely in its non-anxious state.

When the system is at equilibrium, the Hero can do no wrong, the Scapegoat can do no right, the Enabler will always be there to keep the peace, the Mascot will be acting in an abnormal way, and the Lost Child will be distantly aloof...somewhere.

WHEN EQUILIBRIUM IS DISRUPTED

When the equilibrium of the system is disrupted by going either from or to a non-anxious to an anxious state, things within the system may suddenly and unexpectedly change. In response, single or multiple individuals within the system undergo a stress shift. Since the stress shift may result in either an intensification or a shift of their system role, the system becomes disrupted.

This disruption in equilibrium then initiates a chain reaction which triggers anxiety-driven stress shifts throughout the rest of the system. In a domino-like fashion, others in the system respond with the necessary role transformation. The transformation to anxious state equilibrium is complete when the system attains a level of equilibrium the system considers to be an optimum level.

OPTIMUM EQUILIBRIUM: THE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS

This “optimum” state of equilibrium in each system is self-determined. Though designated “optimum,” this state of equilibrium may not necessarily be “optimum” for other groups and systems. This “optimum level” may just as easily create a functional or healthy equilibrium as it can create a dysfunctional equilibrium, or a combination of the two. Thus, systems transformed to their anxious-state optimal equilibrium may use their energies either to “uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant” (Jeremiah 1:10 NIV).

When encountering groups in which the anxious-state optimal system equilibrium is destructive, it is imperative to take preventative measures to prevent the chain reaction from occurring. Indeed, this momentum is not only “bad news,” but gives ample opportunity for Satan to wreak havoc, chaos and schism in the Lord's Church.

On the other hand, when the anxious-state optimal system equilibrium is constructive and driven by a positive, energizing sense of immediately achieving God's vision for the system, the momentum which can result from the chain reaction is nothing less “good news.” Indeed, such momentum may respond to God's power and be blessed in remarkable and miraculous ways!

EXAMPLES OF STRESS SHIFT ROLE TRANSFORMATIONS

Examples of stress shift role transformations might include scenarios such as these. For example, a person who is a Mascot (the “Joker”) in a non-anxious role may, in stress shift, become more passive, taking on the anxious role of a Lost Child. The one who is the Spiritual Leader in a non-anxious system may, in the anxious state, demonstrate more extraverted, daring characteristics and become a Hero in the anxious system.

Of special interest to pastors and congregational leaders is that in the same way, one regarded as a Spiritual Leader in the non-anxious state may, because of his or her own personality tendencies toward introversion and passivity, may become a Scapegoat of an anxious system.

POSSIBLE ROLE SHIFT COMBINATIONS

What role shifts can you expect? The following table demonstrates all theoretical possible stress shift role transformations.

(Table: Combinations of Anxious and Non-Anxious System Roles. Sorry, this is not displayable with plain text email. Table is available in the html version of this article at the Ministry Health WebSite.)

As this table demonstrates, an individual may be a Mascot in the non-anxious role and a Hero in their anxious role (Mascot-Hero). Or, an individual may be a Hero in their non-anxious role and, in their anxious role, a Scapegoat (Hero-Scapegoat). Other possible combinations include, for example, Enabler-Mascot, Scapegoat-Hero, et al. As the table indicates, individuals may have identical non-anxious and anxious roles, e.g., Enabler-Enabler, Mascot-Mascot, Spiritual Leader-Spiritual Leader, et al.

SOME APPLICATIONS

• Since stress shifts are so common, Pastors and church leaders ought to expect that the behaviors and system roles of every individual -- including themselves -- will change in an anxious environment. For the same reason, Pastors and church leaders ought to expect corresponding stress shifts in the respective groups to which they belong.

• Each individual and system has different anxiety tolerances and sensitivities. Thus, what causes anxiety in one individual or group may not affect another individual or group.

• You can't treat everyone and every group alike.Nor should you. They all have different needs, different anxiety triggers, differing levels of sensitivity, different system roles, and different needs for equilibrium.

• Those whom individuals and groups you can trust in non-anxious states may or may not be trusted in their anxious states.

• Since anxious states can be elicited by a virtually limitless number of possible stimuli, the only way to really know the anxious response is to experience the anxious state. This is where pastoral ministry must be exercised with great patience and care.

• Pastoral ministering to congregations can be greatly disrupted by pastors and leaders who do not understand their stress shifts and are not willing or able to adjust them, when necessary, to address system anxieties in an appropriate manner.

• Ministering to people in their anxious role can be rather unpredictable and unsettling.

• Often, ministry to such individuals in their stress shift may demand enormous amounts of energy and exact a great price.

• The greater the number and influence of functional sub-group and group systems existing in a congregation, especially in anxious modes, the greater the likelihood that anxiety, conflict and challenges will invigorate the congregation toward God's vision of growth for that congregation.

• The more a congregation is dominated by dysfunctional sub-groups and group systems, especially in anxious modes, the greater the likelihood that these dysfunctional dynamics will, by definition, favor those things which characterize a dysfunctional church. (Cf. Ministry Health Article “Characteristics Of A Dysfunctional Church”).

• Pastors and church leaders must be sensitive to manage stress factors within the context of systems so as to prevent unwanted chain reactions of dysfunctional systems in stress shift and to encourage desirable ministry support by eliciting positive chain reactions in functional congregational systems.

• Management of stress and anxiety factors is not simply the use of appropriate administrative strategies and tools such as mediation techniques, building of community, enhanced communication, charismatic persuasion, etc. Though these may be helpful and instrumental, the most important tool is use and proclaim the Word of God in such a way to communicate the message of Law and Gospel, contrition and repentance, trust and faith, to give all individuals and systems the essential fundamental base necessary for a proper response to God in all times -- anxious and non-anxious.

• Congregational systems which tend, especially in their stress shift, to place the pastor in a Scapegoat role, will tend to persist in this behavior. Over time, some of these systems may become quite good at it and permeate their influence into other systems.

Thus, some congregational systems whose equilibrium requires the pastor to be Scapegoat will persist in this equilibrium until acted upon from forces -- within or without -- that can change them.

• Though there are many possibilities for transforming and healing dysfunctional systems, often the way God brings real change to these systems is through the pain of recognition of their sinful dysfunction or the pain of conflict. In the past, God used drastic pain application to the Northern and Southern Kingdoms when they persisted in their hardness of heart. God can also work in His Church in the same way today. Indeed, He does!

• Ultimately, the only power pastors and church leaders have to develop healthy individuals and congregational systems, is the Word of God. It is the most powerful “double-edged” sword. it is the “dynamite” of God. Whatever the apparent results of this working during our ministry, God's Word always has the promise: it will not return void without accomplishing what God intended. In God's time, His will shall prevail.

SOME ADDITIONAL OBSERVATIONS

The overall cumulative effect of stress shifts within systems can go a long way to explain a number of congregational dynamics, especially in conflict. Relative to congregations this may explain some other congregational phenomena such as...

1) Why members may suddenly display inexplicable “Jekyl and Hyde” behaviors;

2) Why seemingly peaceful and pleasant churches can, in an anxious state, become quite unstable and destructive;

3) Why pastors may act “out of character” from their normal “non-anxious” role in conflict;

4) Why congregational leaders and pastors, who undergo their own stress shifts, may not be able to handle crisis in a congregation which is also in stress shift;

5) Why pastors suddenly find themselves “betrayed” or alone without the expected and experienced support in relatively non-anxious system conditions;

6) Why some members, in conflict, will become unusually vocal while others will escape (e.g., Lost Child) and leave the church without saying a word to anyone;

No doubt, stress shifts and the cumulative “chain reaction” type effect of stress shift may help explain a number of other things you may have experienced in your congregation, too..

WHAT CAN A PASTOR OR LEADER DO?

What are some ways a pastor can address anxiety to reduce, if possible, the potential for stress shift manifestations in the church?

1) Recognize that often, when people express their anxious reactions in the church, the presented issue is probably not the issue (cf. Ministry Health Article, “The Issue Is Not The Issue”)

2) Especially in anxious times, adopt a strategy for pastoral care including a personal visit to the homes of the anxious on an individual basis to discuss and, if possible, soothe their anxiety. When on their own home territory, individuals will likely feel “safer” to share their anxieties. Sometimes during such visits, keen observers will note certain clues to the cause(s) of the anxiety in their home, work, family, etc.

3) When individuals take on additional responsibilities and circumstances (e.g., become single parents, take care of elderly parent in the home, lose a job, take on a second job, dealing with adolescent rebellion, face retirement, etc), take special notice of the potential for stress shifts. often used in marketing and evangelistic literature to measure “receptivity,” the Holmes-Rahe Stress indicator may be especially helpful to identify various individual stressors.

4) When stress occurs, expect behavioral changes in such individuals and respond appropriately. Offer an appropriate degree of quality, empathetic pastoral support as early as possible so that they understand that you recognize their situation. Give assurances of your concern and be prayerfully supportive and pastorally available as they have need. This is especially important in your ministry to those high-anxiety individuals who, in their anxious stress shifts, take on antagonistic system roles.

5) When anxiety regarding church issues is expressed, provide an appropriate forum for the anxiety to be voiced and expressed. Listen to their concerns and help them look for opportunities to address their issues and concerns. Nothing soothes like a genuinely listening ear.

6) Listening and empathy, however, do not preclude that the ministry of the congregation must stop in its tracks.

6) Help foster a congregational environment which does not inhibit an ongoing appropriate sharing of personal anxieties. Prayer partners, varieties of small fellowship groups (e.g. sharing, recovery, etc, and after worship altar counselors, etc.) can go a long way to build such an environment. After all, isn't anxiety reduction through trusting God and His leading in our lives what prayer, worship, and Bible Study are really all about?

7) Have periodic sermon series or Bible Classes on various Biblically-based, anxiety-related relationship issues (e.g., divorce, marriage enrichment, how to take care of the elderly, boundaries, adult child issues, substance abuse, how to deal with suffering, development of Christian coping mechanisms, etc.)

8) Have leaders list the anxieties which they feel are in the congregation and brainstorm ways that they and the congregation can positively and effectively addressed these anxiety needs.

9) Make a study of Edwin Friedman's landmark book, FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION, especially as it relates to your situation. Chapters 8 and 9 of Friedman's book are especially insightful.

10) Consider leading a workshop or seminar on congregational anxiety. One possible workshop might be “Reasons For Congregational Conflict” in the Ministry Health Web Site Resource Archives. Of course, consider other Ministry Health articles which may be helpful resources for you or your leaders.

11) Never scapegoat those in their anxious stress shifts. Deal with them with the most prudent pastoral care possible. The most highly sensitive and anxious often have a history of distrust, especially of leaders (e.g., pastors). Go easy and try to understand them (cf. Ministry Health's “Thirteen Ways To Recognize The Adult Child...” and other related Ministry Health Articles).

12) Finally, when anxiety and conflict start to build, do not hesitate to contact your judicatory or denominational executives. Those who are skilled with conflict situations may be quite willing to give their support. Do not consider it a weakness to seek their counsel and support. A timely intervention by an outsider can literally save congregations and pastors untold measures of grief, anger and frustration.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

Of course, the most important thing when dealing with the Jekyl-Hyde's in your church, is to continually seek and patiently (read “painstakingly”) follow God's guidance. Whether a non-anxious “Jekyl” or an anxious “Hyde”, His promises to us and to those whom we ministry are always the same. Cast all your burdens and anxieties on Him and let Him be faithful to lead, guide and protect His church as He so determines.

________

Thomas F. Fischer

Copyright 1998 -- All Rights Reserved

Ministry Health WebSite

Thomas F. Fischer, M.Div., M.S.A., Editor http://genesis.acu.edu/ministryhealth

Support And Insights For Your Ministry!

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[Original illustration at this number was deleted for being obsolete]

At the Pan American Games, Greg Louganis was asked how he coped with the stress of international diving competition. He replied that he climbs to the board, takes a deep breath, and thinks, "Even if I blow this dive, my mother will still love me." Then he goes for excellence.

At the beginning of each day, how good it would be for each of us to take a deep breath, say, "Even if I blow it today, my God will still love me," and then, assured of grace, go into the day seeking a perfect 10!

Place a frog in a boiling kettle and it will immediately jump out. Place

him in the kettle filled with cold water, and gradually turn up the heat, and

he will stay there till he is cooked. [Apocryphal?]

#3099

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Have you ever been “splashed”? I’m not talking about having water splashed on you in or near a swimming area. “Splashing” was the word used for what occurred often in the 1990 “locker room wars” of the Chicago Bears. The smaller defensive backs and huge defensive linemen engaged in a good natured but weighty battle of intimidation. Following an exchange of verbal assaults, the big guys would try to circle and isolate one of the defensive backs or as they called them, the “Brat Pack.” On most occasions, the smaller, faster defensive backs were able to strike and quickly escape; but, if captured, they paid a huge price. Defensive back David Tate, who weighed 180 pounds, was once splashed. He was dropped to the ground and the 300 pound William “Refrigerator” Perry collapsed on top of him. Then 270 pound Richard Dent, 275 pound Dan Hampton, and 270 pound Steve McMichael jumped on top -- 1,115 pounds of pain. “It hurts,” said David Tate. “I don’t think they know how heavy they are.“

Once you’ve gotten ‘splashed,’ you avoid it at all costs -- even if it means backing down.” Have you been “splashed” recently?

Sermon in 50 Day Adventure series. #5 Eliminate clutter from life.

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CUT THE CLUTTER

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I. Our lives are filled with clutter.

II. Setting limits.

A. One reason for burning out is we want to have it all.

B. Jesus sets some limits for us. Matt 6:31-33

C. Figure out realistic limits for yourself.

III. Identify the clutter in your life.

A. Home.

B. Office.

C. Soul.

IV. Cut the clutter.

A. Concentate.

B. Delegate. Exodus 18:13-23; Acts 6:1-6

C. Eliminate. Heb 12:1

V. Start now.

A. Procrastination is the brother of clutter.

B. Bible calls personal reorganization "repentance."

Anyone who grew up in a parsonage knows that “PK” stands for “preacher’s kid.”

Early on, I rebelled against that label. But I wasn’t rejecting my father, my family or the faith. When people called me a “preacher’s kid,” I told them that my father wasn’t a preacher -- he was a pastor. There’s a difference.

My father passed away March 5 at the age of 82 and I thought this would be a good time to say, once again, what I said to him and to others many times -- I have always been proud of his work, which included the pastorates of several Texas Baptist churches and seven years as an associational director of missions in Wichita Falls. Of course, it had been some time since Bert Mattingly’s post-retirement work as a hospital chaplain in Houston. That didn’t matter. In Texas Baptist lingo, he was always “Brother Bert.”

My father preached, but that wasn’t what defined him. The joy, and burden, of the job is that there’s more to it than that.

The job seems to be getting tougher. Ask Jim Dahlman, a veteran editor at Focus on the Family who has specialized in issues linked to the ministry. During one research project he read many letters from clergy and their families, some of which left him weeping. Some pastors weren’t burning out - - they were crashing in flames.

“I read one letter after another from pastors or their wives talking about this overwhelming sense of loneliness and isolation,” he said. “Over and over, they’d write things like, ‘We’re totally alone. We can’t talk to anyone about what’s going on in our lives or the pressure we’re under. We’re out here twisting in the wind.’”

The big pressure is for pastors to be ready and available to handle each and every crisis, no matter how minor. With family and friends far away these days, who do people call? Oprah? The all-night therapist?

Dahlman said people also expect pastors to be “lifestyle role models” with perfect homes and perfect spiritual lives. But it’s a problem if the pastor spends too much time at family events or on prayer retreats. Church members expect well-researched, practical and, preferably, entertaining sermons. But it’s a problem if the pastor spends too much time studying and writing.

The clock is always ticking.

I’m convinced the main reason stress levels are so high is that so many people -- in pews and pulpits -- have forgotten that pastors are defined by who they are and what they stand for, not what skills they possess and what tasks they perform. Pastors can’t be shepherds if people expect them to be superheroes.

Why was I proud to be a pastor’s kid? This may sound simplistic, but I believe churches need to hear it -- again.

• My father was a pastor -- not a preacher, CEO, entertainer, clinical counselor, self-help guru or crisis-management consultant.

• He preached the Bible, not his feelings and experiences. Today, many urge pastors to make their lives open books -- often forcing a faked extroversion that has little to do with reality. This has more to do with life in an era of mass-media confessions than solid teaching or evangelism.

• My parents were united -- for 58 years -- by their love and commitment to ministry. Today, many churches place so much pressure on clergy schedules and on their spirits that the very foundations of their personal lives are weakened. This has led to clergy divorce rates that are as shameful as in society as a whole.

• My father wasn’t a workaholic. It wasn’t until college that I talked with other PKs and discovered how unusual it was that I spent many, many hours with my father. I’m convinced this was linked to a more balanced, realistic approach to ministry.

• He kept on loving God, his work and his people. I have never known a pastor who didn’t wrestle with fits of melancholy. Good pastors are realists who face the reality of pain and sin. And then many heap criticism on them, micromanage their lives and expect miracles.

Truth is, I rarely saw my father move mountains. But I did see him preach, teach, pray and embrace sinners. I was proud that he was a pastor. I still am.

__________

(Mattingly (www.tmatt.net) teaches at Milligan College in Tennessee. He writes this weekly column for the Scripps Howard News Service. It is used in Baptist Press by permission.)

Ever since he accepted Jesus as his Savior in the spring of 1994, Jim White knew he had been called to preach. But he didn't surrender until he felt like lightning struck him.

It happened several months ago during a spring revival at Chaplin Fork (Kentucky) Baptist Church. White, who became the church's youth pastor last April, had just led a young man in the sinner's prayer. Continuing the invitation, the evangelist urged others to come to the altar. He concluded, "Maybe you're being called into the ministry."

"When he said that, I felt like a lightning bolt shot through the pew and I went forward," said White, 41, who has worked as a carpenter but is considering becoming an evangelist.

"Sheri (his wife) and I had been talking about it that night. She told me it was like waiting to have a kid. If you wait for the perfect time, it'll never happen. You just have to put it in the Lord's hands."

A man led into evangelism may not sound that unusual in church circles. But White's conversion and call starkly contrast with recent drug abuse and marital problems. They led his wife to file for a court restraining order against him in March of last year.

The action followed 14 years of marriage punctuated by frequent quarrels over insignificant issues.

They were an unlikely match from the beginning: an Army baby born in Fort Knox and the daughter of an airline pilot who grew up in southern California's urban sprawl.

"He was different," said Sheri, a trim 35-year-old redhead, of their meeting on a double date. "He was very caring and thoughtful. He sent me flowers. I had never experienced that. Everything clicked."

"Initially, there was the physical attraction," Jim said. "But it was also her intelligence and good wit. There's been a lot of good times in our relationship. It was like 100 pounds of love and two ounces of cobra venom."

The poison struck right before the wedding. He forgot their marriage license appointment. She showed up at his workplace, swinging her purse. Later they laughed it off.

Soon the Whites moved to the Chaplin, Ky., area midway between Louisville and Lexington. But fights erupted again over issues like who would wash the dishes or who left the cap off the toothpaste.

"I would overreact because I was a spoiled brat," Sheri says. "When I didn't get my way, I exploded." And Jim struck back, sometimes leaving black eyes or bruises on her and holes in the walls.

Life heaped on stress, too. The first six years together they faced various family deaths, illnesses and job losses. Then Jim hurt his hand in an accident, and after it healed he couldn't find jobs that paid more than $5 an hour.

He stayed home when Erik was born in 1987; three more children followed over five years, including a set of twins. Meanwhile, Sheri's college degree earned her a breadwinner's position as an Internal Revenue Service auditor.

The role reversal didn't sit well with Jim, who especially resented his inability to become a professional guitarist. He had forsaken everything else to fulfill that dream. Now he had to face the bitter truth. His destiny lay in shaping wood instead of music.

To cope with those feelings, he smoked ever-increasing amounts of marijuana. Right before Sheri's legal action, he popped pills and threatened suicide.

However, the court order served as a wake-up call. On the advice of his mother, a member of the Chaplin Fork church, Jim sought counseling from pastor Tom Knight. Thanks to pastoral visits, late-night calls and Scripture study, the pattern of his life changed. Knight started visiting Sheri, too, encouraging her to turn back to the Lord she had known in childhood.

Both began attending church, but since the court order prohibited any contact, they went on alternate Sundays. At last year's spring revival, Sheri's resistance broke first, prompted by a message about a personal relationship with Christ.

Meanwhile, though progressing, Jim struggled mightily. He calmed the turmoil with booze. Early one morning, he walked outside with a bottle when a strange feeling overtook him. "I realized I wasn't letting go. I poured out the vodka on the ground, got on my knees and said, 'God, take over. You know what's in my heart. Take over.'"

In a matter of days, the Whites were reunited. Eyebrows raised when the family showed up together at Chaplin Fork one Sunday. The reunion sparked a mini-revival. Instead of sagging, attendance last summer increased from the mid-30s to the high-40s. Today it averages close to 60.

Over the past year, Knight has watched a pastor's heart develop in Jim, expressed through a deep concern for others and a desire to fulfill the Great Commission. And, he said, White is very popular with the teen-agers.

"One of their biggest compliments is they say he understands who they are and is non-judgmental, but also non-compromising about the truth," Knight said. "They're in love with him. If it was up to them, he would be making a million dollars a year."

White has filled in several times for Knight and preached at two other churches. He also was asked to lead a tent revival. One neighboring congregation was impressed enough to ask him to come back for a second visit. "Everything I've heard has been real positive," said pastor Jeff Fuller. "He has communicated well what he wanted to say. Our folks enjoy hearing him."

Though he doesn't know exactly where the Lord will lead, White said the difference between today and 19 months ago is like night and day. "Sometimes I could kick myself for wasting so many years with drugs, alcohol and all that nonsense," he said. "I could have been doing something better."

Copyright (c) 1995 Baptist Press

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#3714

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Once upon a time, there was a man who lived with his wife, two small children, and his elderly parents in a tiny hut. He tried to be patient and gracious, but the noise and crowded conditions wore him down.

In desperation, he consulted the village wise man. "Do you have a rooster?" asked the wise man.

"Yes," he replied.

"Keep the rooster in the hut with your family, and come see me again next week."

The next week, the man returned and told the wise elder that living conditions were worse than ever, with the rooster crowing and making a mess of the hut. "Do you have a cow?" asked the wise elder. The man nodded fearfully. "Take your cow into the hut as well, and come see me in a week."

Over the next several weeks, the man -- on the advice of the wise elder -- made room for a goat, two dogs, and his brother's children.

Finally, he could take no more, and in a fit of anger, kicked out all the animals and guests, leaving only his wife, his children, and his parents. The home suddenly became spacious and quiet, and everyone lived happily ever after.

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Another version from http://www.saratoga-uu.org/Transcripts2.cfm?TN=serv0102

A poor man had come to the end of his rope. So he went to his rabbi for advice.

“Holy Rabbi!” he cried. “Things are in a bad way with me, and are getting worse all the time! We are poor, so poor, that my wife, my six children, my in-laws, and I have to live in a one-room hut. We get in each other’s way all the time. Our nerves are frayed, and, because we have plenty of troubles, we quarrel. Believe me - my home is a hell and I’d sooner die than continue living this way!”

The rabbi pondered the matter gravely. “My son,” he said, “promise to do as I tell you and your condition will improve.”

“I promise, Rabbi,” answered the troubled man. “I’ll do anything you say.”

“Tell me – what animals do you own?”

“I have a cow, a goat, and some chickens.”

“Very well! Go home now and take all these animals into your house to live with you.”

The poor man was dumbfounded, but since he had promised the rabbi, he went home and brought all the animals into his house.

The following day the poor man returned to the rabbi and cried, “Rabbi, what a misfortune have you brought upon me! I did as you told me and brought the animals into the house. And now what have I got? Things are worse than ever! My life is a perfect hell — the house is turned into a barn! Save me, Rabbi – help me!”

“My son,” replied the rabbi serenely, “go home and take the chickens out of your house. God will help you.”

So the poor man went home and took the chickens out of his house. But it was not long before he again came running to the rabbi.

“Holy Rabbi!” he wailed. “Help me, save me! The goat is smashing everything in the house — she’s turning my life into a nightmare.”

“Go home,” said the rabbi gently, “and take the goat out of the house. God will help you!”

The poor man returned to his house and removed the goat. But it wasn’t long before he again came running to the rabbi, lamenting loudly, “What a misfortune you’ve brought upon my head, Rabbi! The cow has turned my house into a stable! How can you expect a human being to live side by side with an animal?”

“You’re right – a hundred times right!” agreed the rabbi. “Go straight home and take the cow out of your house!”

And the poor unfortunate man hastened home and took the cow out of his house.

Not a day had passed before he came running again to the rabbi.

“Rabbi!” cried the poor man, his face beaming. “You’ve made life sweet again for me. With all the animals out, the house is so quiet, so roomy, and so clean! What a pleasure!”

(219,220, Stories of the Spirit)

====================================

The original version at this number:

In Budapest, a man goes to the rabbi and complains, “Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?” The rabbi answers, “Take your goat into the room with you.” The man is incredulous, but the rabbi insists. “Do as I say and come back in a week.”

A week later the man comes back looking more distraught than before. “We cannot stand it,” he tells the rabbi. “The goat is filthy.” The rabbi then tells him, “Go home and let the goat out. And come back in a week.”

A radiant man returns to the rabbi a week later, exclaiming, “Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there's no goat -- only the nine of us.”

__________

George Mikes, How to be Decadent, Andre' Deutsch, London

Here's how to experience a calmer life.

Hoping that your stress will dissolve without inner changes is wishful

thinking.

STRESS AMPLIFIERS

=================

1. Being overly concerned about what others think. 1 Cor 4:3

2. Uncontrolled Speculation. Matthew 6

3. Trying to have control. Isa 26:3

A. Coping strategies that don't work

B. Making a strong commitment. 1 Thess 4:11-12, Rom 15:20

C. Pray specifically about your responsibilities. Phil 4:6-7

D. Resolve relationship problems. Acts 24:16

E. Take time off --- even when you are busy. Exod 34:21

F. Learn to say no. Mark 5:19, 1:38

G. Learn life-management skills.

1. Turn off the cell phone.

2. Do it now.

3. If you're a parent, don't let the kids set the tone of your life.

4. Delegate. Exod 18:17-18

5. Get rid of stuff

H. From stress to surrender. 2 Cor 12:8-9

stress -> escape -> quilt -> stress -> embrace -> surrender -> grace.

*

The uncertain times we live in can cause us to experience the effects of stress and stress-related illnesses or complications. Stress is the wear and tear your body experiences due to the changes that occur as a part of living.

Whether the changes are global, work/ministry-related or personal, your body responds physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. You can reduce the wear and tear on your body by recognizing your body's response to stress and employing stress management techniques to ward off its harmful and long-term effects.

Stress management is a personal process to discover the techniques that work best for you. Here are a few proven strategies to help settle your mind, change your attitude, quiet your spirit and calm your body's response to stress:

1) Stop and listen! In times of stress, one natural response is to keep going and feverishly work into a panic, therefore increasing the stress response. Instead, try the opposite. When you feel pulled in many directions, stop everything. Find a quiet place without TV, people or activity. Do nothing for at least five minutes. Allow your mind and heart to open to the Holy Spirit. Remember when Elijah was stressed in 1 Kings 19? God told Elijah to go to the mountain and He would pass by. Elijah did not hear the voice of the Lord in the wind, earthquake or fire but in a still whisper. Elijah had to be still and quiet to hear from God.

2) Breathe deeply. Another common response to stressful times is shallow breathing. When we do not breathe deeply we deprive the body of adequate oxygen to think clearly and function properly. Instead of shallow breathing, actively take five to six long, full deep breaths. Inhale through your nose for a slow count to five and exhale through your mouth for a slow count of five. When you breathe deeply your body will respond with a lower blood pressure, slower heart rate and reduced tension in muscles, therefore reducing the pressure you feel from a tense situation.

3) Find the positive. When life gets out of hand, another typical response it to think of the worst. “Doom's Day” thinking leads to a higher stress level. When faced with stressful events immediately begin to speak the positive about the situation. Example: You are rear-ended by another car. The damage is relatively minor. Positives in this situation may be no one was seriously hurt, the damage is repairable, you have insurance to cover the cost of repairs, or it isn't raining. If you have challenges finding the positive in a situation, ask God to change your outlook so you can see things more clearly through His eyes.

4) Laugh. Proverbs 17:22a says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” Laughter reduces stress by releasing endorphins into your body that lower your blood pressure, release tight muscles, increase your oxygen intake, stimulate your brain, and change your emotional outlook and thinking. Take a “laugh break” when things are stressful. Keep comic strips, funny photographs of family or friends, comedy movies, a funny book, or a Christian comedian CD or video on hand to use during your laugh break. Laughter therapy is gaining in popularity for treating everything from stress to cancer.

5) Get out and move. During stressful times your body produces hormones that are ready to help you protect yourself or get away from a “predator”. This is called the “fight or flight” response. When these hormones are not used by your body to fight or flee, they hang around, keeping your heart rate elevated, muscles tight, blood pressure up and cholesterol levels high. Exercise safely uses these hormones and limits the damage they can cause to your body. When stress is at its peak, get out and move. Walk around the neighborhood. Jog or run through a park. Play an active sport like basketball or racquetball. Join a fitness class. Finding a physical activity will help you manage the harmful effects of stress.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him [Jesus] because He cares for you.” Ask God to show you the best process for managing the stresses that life brings your way.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #5167, and the next was added to HolwickID #5020]

How to add worry/stress to your life:

1. Never say No to a request - always say YES.

2. Your job comes first; personal considerations are secondary.

3. Accept all invitations to meetings, banquets, committees, etc.

4. Go to the office evenings, Saturdays, Sundays and holidays.

5. Golf, bowling and hobbies are a waste of time.

6. It is a poor policy to take all the vacation time which is provided to you.

7. Never delegate responsibility to others; carry the whole load at all times.

8. Do not eat a restful, relaxing meal - always plan a conference for the dinner hour.

9. If your work calls for traveling - work all day and drive all night to make your appointment for the next

morning.

10. Fishing and hunting are a waste of time and money - you never bring back enough fish or game to

justify the expense.

11. Take the briefcase home on the evenings when you do not go to the office. This provides an

opportunity to review completely all the troubles and worries of the day.

Only a few hours of technological abstinence had passed, but already Mark felt twitchy. His laptop lay abandoned, but almost as badly as a nicotine addict wants a cigarette, he was itching to go online, make a phone-call, send a text-message, do something.

But then something odd happened.

With the uninterrupted time, Mark found himself better able to think, to reflect, and perhaps strangest of all, to experience a feeling of calm that had gone AWOL from his modern life. The New York Times columnist Mark Bittman is one of a whole host of people discovering what some are terming a “secular Sabbath.”

Men and women who have not darkened the door of a synagogue or church for years are finding a need for a day of real rest — disconnecting from the almost omnipresent technological advances of Blackberries and wireless Internet.

Bittman is not the only one lamenting what America lost when the culture of Sabbath observance became a thing of the past. Judith Shulevitz in Slate Magazine waxes poetic about the loss also: “The texture of that day off is hard to conjure up now, because contemporary life offers little like it,” she says. “For 24 hours, we stayed home and ate huge family dinners, went to church, or set off on afternoon drives...”

She goes on to admit, “We had fewer choices, but that lack of choice may have been more liberating than we realized, because having the option of working or shopping often brings with it the nagging sense that if you’re not working [or shopping], you should be...”

It is not surprising — is it? — that the people of all walks of life are discovering a need for Sabbath rest once again. As it says in Exodus 23, God intended that man and even animals should be “refreshed” by keeping the Sabbath. Rest was woven into the fabric of creation. And what we find as we take time off from the rhythms of work is — as the old Hebrew saying goes — not that we keep the Sabbath, but that the Sabbath keeps us.

That is a reality Americans can understand. We are starved for rest as never before, getting an average of just six-and-a-half hours of sleep a night, a 25-percent drop since the early 1900s. To make up for it, we rev up on Red Bull, Starbucks, No-Doz, sodas — you name it. No wonder people are craving the physical and mental health benefits of a day of rest.

But here is the opportunity you and I have. We know that not only is the Sabbath meant for refreshment, but it is also a much deeper, grander sign of our need for spiritual rest. Back in Exodus 31, God called the Sabbath an “eternal sign.” He created it — along with many other things — as a reminder of our need for Him.

So consider how you and your family might rediscover the Sabbath. And as our secular friends discover their need for rest — or suffer from lack of it — let us use it as an opportunity to talk about how the soul itself will be, as St. Augustine put it, restless until it finds its rest in God.

________

Copyright (c) 2008 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint with Chuck Colson” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #1833]

Psychologist Joan Broysenko is an expert on stress, associated with

the Harvard Medical School. She insists that a high percentage of our

physical illnesses are caused by stress or are stress related. Some

gastro-intestinal disorders, some skin disorders, and the general

weakening of our immune system have been traced to stress. And, she

has concluded that fear is the core condition with all stress. Think

about it for a minute. Stress arises out of fear of failure, fear of

ridicule, fear of not measuring up, fear of being fired, fear of not

making the next promotion, fear of not getting called to the next

church, fear of having one day be just as boring as the day before.

These are just a few of the fears that can drive us ordinary people to

distraction.

We must learn to deal with the pressures and the stress of these

multitudinous demands on us, or we will become either a basket case or

a casket case.

- Paul W. Powell, {Basic Bible Sermons on Handling Conflict,

}(Nashville: Broadman Press, 1992) 29

Jeris E. Bragan wrote about an old violin-maker who chose the wood for his instruments from the north side of the trees because this was the side that faced the fiercest windstorms. When the storms raged the trees groaned under the lashings but this is what gave them their strength. As the violin-maker said, "They are simply learning to be violins."

Welcome to Daily Encounter «+†+» Tuesday 11/10/98

With Dick Innes ~ ACTS International

Leslie Charles, author of "Why Is Everyone So Cranky?" (Hyperion Press), subtitles her work "Ten Trends That Are Making Us Angry and How We Can Find Peace of Mind Instead." Here are those 10 trends:

a. Compressed Time: We feel hurried and rushed, we get annoyed at long lines, we go to bed wired and wake up tired.

b. Communications Overload: We're always tuned in - TV, radio, Internet or print media - sometimes two or more at once. We're surrounded by piles of stuff we'll never get to.

c. Disconnectedness: We're too busy or tired for intimacy. "We're working more and enjoying it less," says Charles.

d. Cost: Life has become one constant "upgrade parade." Somewhere along the line, "we gained this expectation ... we should have more than we have."

e. Competition: We're working longer hours with no increase in benefit. We feel like we're constantly competing with everybody?

f. Customer Contact: Consumers are more rude and unhappy. "The customer doesn't have time to build [a] relationship, the clerk doesn't either."

g. Computers: "Technology surrounds us," says Charles, "[it's] part of the culprit behind our era of emergency, urgency and interruption."

h. Change: We've have more change than wanted, less change than needed.

i. Coming of Age: "Old is younger than it used to be," says Charles, "but young is older than it used to be, too."

j. Complexity: Charles, says "We're dealing with issues ... we don't even have [controls] for ... such as genetic engineering, reproductive technology. We get overwhelmed to the point - we don't want to deal with it ... [which results in a] feeling of inadequacy."

======

Commentary: Let me suggest ten antidotes for these trends:

a. Stress (i.e., Compressed Time): "...don't be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [Matthew 6:34]

b. Focus (i.e., Communications Overload): "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." [Colossians 3:2]

c. Weariness (i.e., Disconnectedness): "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." [Matthew 11:28]

d. Substance (i.e., Cost): "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you." [Matthew 6:33]

e. World-view (i.e., Competition): "Don't love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father isn't in him." [1 John 2:15]

f. Relationships (i.e., Customer Contact): "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; don't merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." [Philippians 2:3,4]

g. Priorities (i.e., Computers): And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment. [Hebrews 9:27]

h. Stability (i.e., Change): "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, yes and forever." [Hebrews 13:8]

i. Culture (i.e., Coming of Age): "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all." [Mark 10:15]

j. Adequacy (i.e., Complexity): "... God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." [Romans 5:8]

I don't know what Charles ultimately recommends to "find peace of mind" but here is how we can find "the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension" [Philippians 4:7]: "there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved." [Acts 4:12]

Source/Attribution: John Gillmartin

The Girl Scouts recently began offering merit badges in stress-reduction to scouts aged 8 to 11, but the girls, of course, had to complete a schedule of activities to earn one.

THREE RULES FOR TURNING STRESS INTO SUCCESS

===========================================

1. ACCEPT THE UNCHANGEABLE - Everything that has happened in your life to this minute is unchangeable. It's history. The greatest waste of energy is in looking back at missed opportunities, lamenting past events, grudge collecting, getting even, harboring ill will, and any vengeful thinking. Success is the only acceptable form of revenge. By forgiving your trespassers, you become free to concentrate on going forward with your life and succeeding in spite of your detractors. You will live a rewarding and fulfilling life.

Your enemies, on the other hand, will forever wonder how you went on to become so successful without them and in the shadow of their doubts.

Action Idea: Write down on a sheet of paper things that happened in the past that bother you. Now crumple the paper into a ball and throw it at the person teaching this program at the front of the room. This symbolizes letting go of past misfortunes.

2. CHANGE THE CHANGEABLE - What you can change is your reaction to what others say and do. And you can control your own thoughts and actions by dwelling on desired results instead of the penalties of failure. The only real control you have in life is that of your immediate thought and action. Since most of what we do is a reflex, subconscious habit, it is wise not to act on emotional impulse. In personal relations, it is better to wait a moment until reason has the opportunity to compete with your emotions.

Action Idea: Write down in your diary one thing you will do tomorrow to help you relax more during and after a stressful day.

3. AVOID THE UNACCEPTABLE - Go out of your way to get out of the way of potentially dangerous behaviors and environments. When people tailgate you on the freeway, change lanes. If they follow you at night, drive to a well-lighted public place.

When there are loud, obnoxious people next to you at a restaurant or club, change tables, or locations. Also, be cautious of personal relationships developed via the Internet. With the massive number of individuals surfing the net, the number of predators increases in like proportion. Always be on the alert for potentially dangerous situations involving your health, personal safety, financial speculation and emotional relationships.

Action Idea: What is one unacceptable behavior you have or allow others to do to you that you will avoid starting tomorrow? Example: The way you drive, being around negative people, walking down dark streets alone late at night, etc.

*

Evangelicals are the most conservative, most satisfied, most spiritually inclined and least stressed of all U.S. adults, according to a poll by the Barna Research Group, while those who claim to be atheists and agnostics are more stressed out, more lonely and less satisfied with their lives.

"The more deeply committed a person is to evangelical Christianity, the more at ease they report being with their life circumstances," said George Barna of the California-based research organization. "On the other hand, individuals who are indifferent or hostile to all faith systems are notably less relaxed and fulfilled with life."

The study, released Aug. 26, was based on telephone interviews this year with more than 3,000 randomly sampled adults in the 48 continental states.

Researchers divided the survey into five faith segments in order to explore the relationship between faith views and self-descriptions. The five segments included evangelical Christians, non-evangelical born-again Christians, notional Christians, adults affiliated with a non-Christian faith, and atheists and agnostics.

The study found that just less than 7 percent of the respondents claimed to be evangelical Christians, and of that 7 percent, 99 percent said they were "happy." The Barna news report noted that "these individuals have become a political lightning rod and are routinely caricatured by the media" for their conservative views. Even so, 91 percent of evangelical Christians reported they were satisfied with their present life.

Of all five groups, evangelicals were least likely to say they are lonely, in serious debt or stressed out. The poll found 98 percent of them to be concerned about the moral condition of the country, though only 54 percent said they were worried about the future.

The group classified as non-evangelical born-again Christians were those who had accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior and believe they will experience eternal life because they have sought and received his forgiveness, but who do not share other central theological beliefs of evangelicals. One-third of the adults surveyed claimed to be non-evangelical born-again Christians.

Of that group, 73 percent described themselves as "deeply spiritual." They also listed themselves as concerned about the moral condition of the country and "absolutely committed to Christianity." Even so, the group was indistinguishable from non-Christians and nominal Christians in terms of stress, debt or addictions.

Nearly four of every 10 adults surveyed classified themselves as notional Christians, which means they consider themselves to be Christian but either do not have a personal commitment to Jesus Christ or do not believe that they will experience eternal favor with God based solely on his grace and mercy.

Notional Christians were most concerned about the future and the moral state of the nation, but their faith ties seemed to make little difference in relation to stress, debt, addictions, happiness or life satisfaction. They were also tied with atheists and agnostics in being the most lonely.

One of every eight adults surveyed said they are associated with faith groups other than Christianity. Of those, 57 percent described themselves as deeply spiritual. They were also among the least likely to be concerned about the future or the moral condition of the United States.

Atheists and agnostics comprised less than 8 percent of the adults surveyed and were the most likely to be stressed out, concerned about the future and lonely. Only 4 percent described themselves as politically conservative, and 71 percent claimed to have traditional or family-oriented values.

"The data suggest that the more deeply committed to Christianity a person is, the more likely they are to experience greater self-confidence, peace and fulfillment," Barna said.

The maximum margin of error for the survey was 3 percentage points at the 95 percent confidence level.

The Barna Research Group is an independent marketing research company located in southern California that has been studying cultural trends related to values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors since 1984.

*

An acronym for the alleviation of stress:

S_earch the Word

T_rust God's heart

R_est on His promises

E_ncourage one another

S_ing His praises

S_eek the Savior

*

It is not by accident that some of our country’s brightest minds work in the advertisement sector. Though commercial breaks are often tedious to endure, some are very clever.

Perhaps you’ve noticed a recent commercial that begins with a highly capable-looking man walking onto a subway. Dressed in a sharp suit and wearing refined glasses, he unfolds a newspaper - yet something is awry. Soon you notice a small monkey on this man’s back, fiddling with the man’s eyewear. Then another primate paws at his paper. Finally, the camera cuts to a third monkey removing the man’s billfold, emptying its contents.

With the monkeys on his back, the man arrives at his dimly lit den and seats himself on a plush couch facing a surround-sound home theatre system. An intense intergalactic dogfight appears on the screen. (The point of this commercial is becoming increasingly clear.) The booming sound, the high definition picture, the theatre experience literally scare the monkeys off this man’s back. The not so subtle point is that you can entertain your worries away.

This ingenious ad is selling more than audio-visual technology; it is selling therapy through gadgetry. The underlying rationale is that through advanced techniques of mind absorption, one has a mechanism for dealing with stress.

But think about its message. I imagine that for most of us, commercials like these escape our attention without critical thought-and understandably so, as we are not usually honing our attention skills during these sales pitches. This commercial illustrates the basic underlying philosophy of many advertising campaigns: the consumption of products will dissolve your anxieties.

Would that life were so simple. We all seek escape, but we cannot run from reality. Life itself brings necessary burdens. Jesus tells us something fascinating. While He lifts burdens, He does not run from their existence. He only teaches us how to put them in perspective in the light of His truth. In fact He gives fresh burdens that we might carry those which are worthy of being carried. Sound and music may drown those burdens which claw at us. But only Christ can put a song within that helps us know why some burdens are worthy and what we can comfortably cast onto Him. You see, the problem is not the monkey on the back. Rather, it is a parasite within that is called self which gnaws away at peace. For that only the Great Musician is the cure.

_________________________

Copyright © 2002 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.

*

”You have let me sink down deep in desperate problems. But you will bring me back to life again, up from the depths of the earth!” (Psalm 71:20, TLB) — For reading & meditation: Psalm 71:1-24

Another major cause for brokenness in human life is stress. Often I get letters from people saying something like this: “I feel I am on the verge of a breakdown. No one thing seems to be responsible for it, but I just can’t cope. My doctor says I am suffering from stress. Can the Bible meet this need?” I am bold to say that it can. God can take a person overcome by stress and build into their lives insights which will enable them to live above and beyond its paralyzing grip.

What exactly is “stress”? One doctor defines it as “wear and tear on the personality which, if uncorrected, can result in a physical or mental breakdown.” Donald Norfolk, a British osteopath who has made a special study of stress, claims that it comes from two main causes: too little change, or too much change. To function at peak efficiency, we all need a certain amount of change. However, when changes come too fast for us to cope with, the personality is put under tremendous stress.

Dr. Thomas H. Holmes measures stress in terms of “units of change “ For example, the death of a loved one measures 100 units, divorce 73 units, pregnancy 40 units, moving or altering a home 25 units, and Christmas 12 units. His conclusion is that no one can handle more than 300 units of stress in a twelve-month period without suffering physically or emotionally during the next two years. Holmes, of course, was speaking from a strictly human point of view — with God “all things are possible.”

PRAYER:

Father, You have taught me much on how to turn my weaknesses into strengths. Teach me now how to handle stress. I cannot change my surroundings — but I can change my attitude. Help me to do this. For Jesus’ sake. Amen.

FURTHER STUDY:

• Luke 10:38-42; Phil. 4:6; Ps. 127:2; Matt. 6:25

1. What was Jesus’ response to Martha?

2. How did it differ from His response to Mary?

“It is the hopes and dreams that we have that make us great.”

"Setting Boundaries" series. Luke 9:51-56

JESUS SAID NO

=============

I. Are you sucked dry yet?

A. September - into the frying pan.

B. Do others want more than you feel you can give?

C. Saying "no" is hard to do.

II. Jesus often said "no."

A. When his mother told him to help out a wedding. John 2:4

B. When the people asked for more bread from heaven. John 6:31

C. When his disciples requested fire from heaven. Luke 9:51-56

D. When skeptics demanded miracles. Matt 12:38

III. How Jesus could do it.

A. Jesus knew who he was.

B. Jesus knew who God was.

C. Jesus knew what God wanted him to do.

IV. How we can say "no."

A. Use discernment.

B. Be thoughtful and tactful.

C. Be ready to accept the consequences.

D. Keep the big picture in mind.

V. Always say "yes" to God.

Can’t take the pressure, can’t take the pain.

It fills my head with sorrow again.

Nothing but suffering, can’t take the hurt.

My heart is nothing but spat on dirt.

Can’t take the tension, can’t take the stress

Why must my life be such a mess?

Can’t take the sadness, can’t escape the grief

Where on earth can I find relief?

Can’t take the anger, can’t take the rage.

Who has the power to turn this dark page?

Can’t take the work, wish there was less.

Again my life begins to digress.

Nobody comforts, nobody cares.

Nothing here but deep, dark lairs.

No one here to help me, no one to save

Maybe life should be lived from the grave.

What’s there to live for, what’s there to see.

Darkness, sadness, they consume me.

Can’t take the sadness, can’t stand the grief

Where on earth is my relief.

Nowhere on earth, nobody here

Can save me from the corruption, the fear.

But.

Somebody up there, somebody concerned

With who I am, this I have learned.

When blackness surrounds me, no hope in sight.

I call on Him and in comes the light.

He is my Savior, my God, my life.

He is the one who can free me of my strife.

And so I will worship. For him live my life.

Sermon on balance. Proverbs 28:2

GET BACK IN KILTER

==================

I. Are you keeping your plates in the air?

II. What happens when we are not in balance.

A. Frustration.

B. Fatigue.

III. What the Bible says about being balance.

A. The most perfect example of balance - Jesus Christ. Luke 2:52

1) He grew in wisdom - intellectually.

2) He grew in stature - physically.

3) He grew in favor with God - spiritually.

4) He grew in favor with people - socially.

B. We also need balance in these areas.

IV. How to become balanced.

A. Make an assessment of your life.

B. Make a plan of action.

C. Establish Christ at the center of your life.

[modified from Rev. Rick Warren's sermon, "Balancing Life's Demands"]

FEELING STRESSED?

• I Used to Have a Handle on Life, But It Broke

• Out of My Mind. Back in Five Minutes

• My Reality Check Just Bounced

• Cancel My Subscription -- I Don't Need Your Issues

• Dangerously Under-Medicated

• Madness Takes Its Toll -- Please Have Exact Change

(Slogans for T-shirts suggested to the Washington Post)

*