44 Sermon Illustrations on Self-Centered

Conversations reveal how self-centered people really are:

Eleanor Roosevelt, the president's wife, could talk for two-and-a-half hours without referring to herself. At the other extreme, it's been said that Elizabeth Taylor refers to herself every 90 seconds.

#2168

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Calvin and Hobbes are walking through the snow:

Calvin: Some people complain all the time! They complain about the least little thing!

[he holds his head and grimaces]

If something bugs them, they never let go of it! They just go on

and on, long after anyone else is interested! It’s just

complain, complain, complain! People who gripe all the time

really drive me nuts!

You’d think they’d change the subject after a while, but they

never do! They just keep griping until you start to wonder,

“What’s wrong with this idiot?” But they go on complaining and

repeating what they’ve already said!

Hobbes: [rolls his eyes] Maybe they’re not very self-aware.

Calvin: Boy, that’s ANOTHER thing that gets on my nerves!

Baby boomers have long taken the rap for being the most selfish generation of Americans ever, but we finally have some competition.

Our children and grandchildren are coming up fast in our rearview mirrors, and they’re about to leave us in their dust when it comes to narcissism and self-absorption.

I’m not just talking about the little thugs and thugettes who run amok in stores and restaurants while their clueless parents ignore them. I’m talking about at least some of the intelligent, ambitious young adults graduating this spring from American colleges and universities. Too many celebrity commencement speakers are telling them what they’ve heard for years from parents and others:

“You are special. The world revolves around you. The future belongs to you.”

In other words, they’re being sold a bill of goods by their indulgent boomer elders, who should know better by now. The world doesn’t revolve around 20-somethings any more than the sun revolves around the earth. Why are we telling them so? It shortchanges them and cripples the mission of the church, which needs a new generation of selfless servants –- not a new cult of self-worship.

Don’t get me wrong. I know many young adults who are living out a passionate desire to serve God. Some of them are making history right now on some of the toughest mission fields in the world. But they’re swimming against the tide of our times, not flowing with it.

Before you dismiss me as a grumpy boomer, read on.

Recent studies on parenting and child development by Christian researcher George Barna find that the typical worldview of Americans in their early 20s “promotes self-centeredness, the right to happiness and fulfillment, the importance of personal expression in all forms (and) the necessity of tolerating aberrant or immoral points of view; allows for disrespect of other people and use of profanity; and advances forms of generic spirituality that dismiss the validity of the Judeo-Christian faith. Largely propelled by postmodern thought, [this] worldview ... does not facilitate respect for life, acceptance of the rule of law or the necessity of hard work, personal sacrifice, paying dues or contributing to the common good.”

I know, I know. Every older generation complains about the behavior of “kids these days.” But the sense of entitlement on display among many young Americans today actually reflects years of conscious indoctrination by parents, teachers and coaches. These authority figures see their main mission not as educating and developing character in the young but as building “self-esteem,” according to Jeffrey Zaslow of The Wall Street Journal.

“Now, as this greatest generation grows up, the culture of praise is reaching deeply into the adult world,” Zaslow writes. “Bosses, professors and mates are feeling the need to lavish praise on young adults, particularly 20-somethings, or else see them wither under an unfamiliar compliment deficit. Employers are dishing out kudos to workers for little more than showing up.... Certainly, there are benefits to building confidence and showing attention. But some researchers suggest that inappropriate kudos are turning too many adults into narcissistic praise-junkies.”

America’s “praise fixation,” Zaslow warns, “has economic, labor and social ramifications. Adults who were over-praised as children are apt to be narcissistic at work and in personal relationships.”

He cites a multi-university study involving more than 16,000 college students over several decades. They took a standardized “narcissistic personality inventory,” responding to such statements as “I think I am a special person.” The average college student in 2006, according to the study, was 30 percent more narcissistic than the average student in 1982.

Praise and encouragement are wonderful tools as we love our children and guide them into adulthood. Mindless adulation, however, creates as many problems as condemnation. It deceives young people into thinking any effort at all is their best effort. It prevents them from discovering their true abilities, developing their potential or forming discipline and character. It hurts their chances of building loving relationships with others.

Worst of all, it distorts their understanding of God’s world and their role in it.

American-style Christianity already over-emphasizes the personal benefits of faith and neglects its responsibilities: Jesus loves me. He saved me. He blesses me. It’s all about me. The narcissistic “culture of praise,” as Zaslow calls it, only encourages this tendency. What about loving God, serving Him, following Him –- and demonstrating such faith by loving and serving others at home and around the world?

“Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers,” a 2005 book published by Oxford University Press, explored the inner lives of more than 3,000 U.S. teens ages 13 to 17. The study found that in contrast to the rebellious boomers, today’s teens tend to believe in God, listen to their parents and willingly adopt their parents’ religious views. If parents model a shallow faith with few demands, however, their children imitate them.

Biblical faith is about a very different “culture of praise.” We praise and serve a God who lavishes unconditional love and undeserved grace upon us.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #33177]

”So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth,” 1 Corinthians 3:7 states (HCSB).

We find ourselves in such an age of me-ism that even Christians struggle with the idea that the world is “all about me.” It's the idea that I should have my way. I should be the one who gets recognized. I should be in charge of the world!

In the church at Corinth, the Apostle Paul found himself in the middle of a huge controversy. Members of the church had chosen sides and adopted leaders for the two sides, namely Paul and Apollos. Paul has just finished calling the Christians at Corinth spiritual babies. He remarks that there is envy and strife among them as some have declared themselves to be followers of Paul, and others followers of Apollos.

Paul brings the church back to reality by reminding them that Paul and Apollos are merely servants of the Lord who are fulfilling their responsibilities of Christian service. Paul was the planter and Apollos was the one who watered. Then Paul declares that God is the one who gives the growth. Resoundingly Paul trumpets the truth in verse 7: “I am nothing and Apollos is nothing. God is everything! He is the one who brings the growth!”

It might be wise for every minister and every layperson to daily read these words and be reminded who is in charge.

We are nothing, and God is everything. This work of the church is not about me; it's all about God and His Kingdom. My focus should be upon serving King Jesus. In order to do this successfully, I am going to have to get myself off the throne so that Christ may be glorified.

For me this is as fresh as today's experience. I had preached what I felt was a strong message. People expressed their appreciation and commended my preaching. On the way home I was thinking to myself, “You really nailed that message this morning. You should feel good about that.” Then all at once God spoke to my heart. I stopped my direction of self-serving thought and said, “Okay, how well do you think you would do if the Lord took His hand off of you for one moment? Don't ever forget that any success you have in the pulpit is not due to your ability to proclaim, but God's ability to bless in ways that are beyond comprehension.” If there is any gold in this poor stammering tongue, it comes from God.

How can I be a Kingdom person unless my attitude is a Kingdom attitude? My primary aim must be to build God's Kingdom instead of my own. I was attending an evangelism conference in Alabama years ago when the preacher said, “Some of you folks talk a lot about what has happened in your church since you got there. What you need to do is go back to your previous churches and see what God has done since you left.” None of us is indispensable. We serve at the pleasure of our Master and He should get the glory, not us.

I believe that John the Baptist had this issue of attitude figured out just right. When John's disciples saw everyone leaving their side to follow after Jesus, they asked John how he felt about it. John responded by saying, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). That's what I'm talking about. That is a Kingdom mentality. It's not all about me; it's about our Lord, Jesus Christ. When we get that straight in our hearts and minds, then we will be able to get down to Kingdom business. We just might see the great revival we have been praying for.

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White is executive director-treasurer of the Georgia Baptist Convention and a member of the Southern Baptist Convention's Empowering Kingdom Growth Task Force.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #5507]

Scottish author George MacDonald once stated, “The one principle of hell is — 'I am my own.'“ [1]

This is a deceptive principle, deceptive like the snake in the Garden. He promised Adam and Eve that they could become like God, and the first principle of hell promises the same. I am my own, it shouts. I am in control. I will determine my life, my aims, my ends. In short, it promises the supremacy of our will — that our will, will be. This is nothing less than promising that we will be like God.

But what if the principle could be fully realized? If your will would be done? If you were God? What then? Do you have the resources within you to love? Do you have the resources within you to care? Do you have the resources within you to bring happiness? To bring peace? If your will would be done, what would be done?

Contrary to modern optimism, human history tells the story of our will being done. Our hypothetical question has been answered by history time and again. Genocide, war, racism, these are just a few of our stripes. But we need not open a history book to see these stripes. If we open our own hearts, our stripes are plain to see. Reflect on your own heart, and you will see that I am telling the truth.

Isaiah tells of stripes of another kind that are intimately related to our own stripes. He tells of the stripes that marked Christ's back in His passion. Isaiah paradoxically proclaimed, by Christ's stripes, by Christ's wounds, we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5) In essence, His pain is our balm.

Jesus, just before He was to go through the hell of the cross expressed the antithesis to the one principle of hell. He expressed the one principle of heaven: not my will but thine. Just as paradoxically his stripes heal our stripes, so paradoxically surrendering our will does not impoverish us but rather enriches us — for it opens us up to his resources of love, his resources of care, his resources of peace. You see, the principle of heaven opens us up to God's power, and the principle of hell closes us off to it.

Let us seek to unleash the power of the one principle of heaven and so squelch the power of the one principle of hell.

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1. C.S. Lewis, George MacDonald: An Anthology, (San Francisco: Harper, 1973), p. 103.

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Copyright © 2002 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #8768]

You'll either be a worldly Christian or a world-class Christian.

Worldly Christians look to God primarily for personal fulfillment. They're saved, but self-centered. They love to attend concerts and enrichment seminars but you'd never find them at a missions conference because they aren't interested. Their prayers focus on their own needs, blessings and happiness. It's a "me-first" faith: How can God make my life more comfortable? They want to use God for their purposes instead of being used for his purposes.

In contrast, world-class Christians know they were saved to serve and were made for a mission. They're eager to receive a personal assignment and excited about the privilege of being used by God. World-class Christians are the only fully alive people on the planet. Their joy, confidence and enthusiasm are contagious because they know they're making a difference. They wake up each morning expecting God to work through them in fresh ways.

Which type of Christian do you want to be?

God invites you to participate in the greatest, largest, most diverse and most significant cause in history -- his kingdom. History is his story. He's building his family for eternity. Nothing matters more and nothing will last as long. From the Book of Revelation we know that God's global mission will be accomplished. Someday the Great Commission will be the great completion. In heaven, an enormous crowd of people from "every race, tribe, nation and language" will one day stand before Jesus Christ to worship him. Getting involved as a world-class Christian will allow you to experience a little of what heaven will be like in advance.

Here's how to think like a world class Christian:

-- SHIFT FROM SELF-CENTERED TO OTHER-CENTERED THINKING

The Bible says, "My friends, stop thinking like children. Think like mature people...." Children only think of themselves; grown-ups think of others. This is the first step to becoming a world-class Christian. God commands, "Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too."

Begin asking the Holy Spirit to help you to think of the spiritual need of unbelievers whenever you talk to them. With practice, you can develop the habit of praying silent "breath prayers" for those you encounter, such as "Father, help me to understand what is keeping this person from knowing you."

-- SHIFT FROM LOCAL TO GLOBAL THINKING

God is a global God. He has always cared about the entire world. "God so loved the world ...." From the beginning he has wanted family members from every nation he created.

Much of the world already thinks globally. The largest media and business conglomerates are all multinational. Our lives are increasingly intertwined with those in other nations as we share fashions, entertainment, music, sports and even fast foods. Probably most of the clothes you're wearing and much of what you ate today was produced in another country. We're more connected than we realize.

The first way to start thinking globally is to begin praying for specific countries. World-class Christians pray for the world. Get a globe or map and pray for nations by name. The Bible says, "If you ask me, I will give you the nations; all the people on earth will be yours" (Psalm 2:8).

Prayer is the most important tool for your mission in the world. People may refuse our love or reject our message, but they are defenseless against our prayers. Like intercontinental missiles, you can aim a prayer at a person's heart whether you're 10 feet or 10,000 miles away.

Another way to develop global thinking is to read and watch the news with "Great Commission eyes." Wherever there is change or conflict, you can be sure that God will use it to bring people to him. People are most receptive to God when they are under tension or in transition. Because the rate of change is increasing in our world, more people are open to hearing the good news now than ever before.

The best way to switch to global thinking is to just get up and go on a short-term mission project to another country! There's simply no substitute for hands-on real-life experiences in another culture. Quit studying and discussing your mission and just do it! I dare you to dive into the deep end.

-- SHIFT FROM TEMPORAL TO ETERNAL THINKING

To make the most of your time on earth you must maintain an eternal perspective. This will keep you from majoring on minor issues and help you distinguish between what's urgent and what's ultimate. The apostle Paul said, "We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:18).

So much of what we waste our energy on will not matter even a year from now, much less for eternity. Don't trade your life for temporary things. Jesus said, "Anyone who lets himself be distracted from the work I plan for him is not fit for the Kingdom of God" (Luke 9:62) and Paul warned, "Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out" (1 Corinthians 7:31).

What are you allowing to stand in the way of your mission? What's keeping you from being a world-class Christian? Whatever it is, let it go. "Let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back..." (Hebrews 12:1).

-- SHIFT FROM THINKING OF EXCUSES TO THINKING OF CREATIVE WAYS TO FULFILL YOUR COMMISSION

If you're willing, there's always a way to do it, and there are agencies who will help you. Here are some common excuses:

"I only speak English." This is actually an advantage in many countries where millions of people want to learn English and are eager to practice it.

"I don't have anything to offer." Yes you do. Every ability and experience in your life can be used somewhere.

"I'm too old or too young." Most mission agencies have age-appropriate short-term projects.

Maybe you've believed that you needed a special "call" from God and you've been waiting for some supernatural feeling or experience, but God has already stated his call repeatedly. We're all called to fulfill God's five purposes for our lives: to worship, to fellowship, to grow like Christ, to serve, and to be on mission with God in the world. God doesn't want to use just some of his people; he wants to use all of his people. We're all called to be on mission for God. He wants his whole church to take the whole gospel to the whole world.

If you want to be like Jesus, you must care about what he cares about most; you must have a heart for the whole world! You can't be satisfied with just your family and friends coming to Christ. There are over 6 billion people on earth and Jesus wants all his lost children found. The Great Commission is your commission, and doing your part is the secret to living a life of significance. Jesus said, "Only those who throw away their lives for my sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live!" (Mark 8:35)

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Does God intend to give his children certain blessings but only if they ask?

Does reciting the same prayer to God every day provide power?

Does praying daily for God to bless you and enlarge your territory violate the dictates of Christian humility and sacrifice?

Has the so-called "health and wealth" theology found a back door into Baptist congregations?

These are some of the theological questions raised by the breakaway popularity of Bruce Wilkinson's bestseller, "The Prayer of Jabez." The book has been widely embraced by Baptist ministers and laypeople in recent weeks and has become the basis of small-group Bible studies and sermons in some churches.

In the book, Wilkinson, founder of Walk Thru the Bible Ministries in Atlanta, urges readers to "reach for an extraordinary life" by praying the prayer of Jabez daily. He has prayed the prayer of Jabez every day for 30 years, he writes, and has found it to produce wonderful results in his life and ministry. "The Jabez prayer distills God's powerful will for your future," Wilkinson admonishes.

The book breaks the prayer of 1 Chronicles 4:10 into four parts.

The first is "that you would bless me indeed."

"God really does have unclaimed blessings waiting for you, my friend," Wilkinson writes. He explains that praying for God's blessings for yourself "is not the self-centered act it might appear, but a supremely spiritual one and exactly the kind of request our Father longs to hear."

To "bless," according to Wilkinson, means to "ask for or to impart supernatural favor. When we ask for God's blessing, we're not asking for more of what we could get for ourselves."

Although by praying the prayer of Jabez, "your life will become marked by miracles," Wilkinson urges readers not to see the prayer as a means to get specific things. Jabez, he notes, "left it entirely up to God to decide what the blessings would be and where, when and how" they would be received.

To illustrate the importance of asking for God's blessing, Wilkinson tells a fable about a man named Mr. Jones who dies and goes to heaven, where he discovers a ribbon-tied box with his name on it. Inside the box, he learns, are "all the blessings God wanted to give him while he was on earth, but Mr. Jones had never asked."

Wilkinson explains: "Even though there is no limit to God's goodness, if you didn't ask him for a blessing yesterday, you didn't get all that you were supposed to have. That's the catch -- if you don't ask for his blessing, you forfeit those that come to you only when you ask."

The second part of the prayer is to "enlarge my territory."

This means to "ask God to enlarge your life so you can make a greater impact for him," Wilkinson says. "When you start asking in earnest -- begging -- for more influence and responsibility with which to honor him, God will bring opportunities and people into your path."

The third part of the prayer is "that your hand would be with me."

This emphasizes the Christian's dependence upon God and inability to do God's work in human power alone, Wilkinson explains. "The hand of the Lord is so seldom experienced by even mature Christians that they don't miss it and don't ask for it. They hardly know it exists."

Finally, the prayer asks "that you would keep me from evil."

This is a prayer not to face temptation, Wilkinson says. "Most of us face too many temptations -- and therefore sin too often -- because we don't ask God to lead us away from temptation."

In conclusion, Wilkinson asserts that God does have favorites. "Equal access to God does not add up to equal reward. ... Simply put, God favors those who ask."

The nature of Wilkinson's message has drawn immediate comparisons among some critics to the health-and-wealth gospel of the televangelists. But Baptist advocates of the book say that's not what the book teaches at all. "I don't see it as being prosperity theology," said Ted Elmore, director of the Baptist General Convention of Texas prayer office. "There are ample places in the Old and New Testaments where God does indeed want to bless his people."

Johnny White, associate pastor of Trinity Baptist Church in San Antonio, acknowledged the book "skates on the edge of health and wealth," but he does not believe that was Wilkinson's intent. In using the book at Trinity, where 750 people recently discussed it in home Bible studies, "we've tried to focus on the natural human tendency to turn inward. We've tried to draw from that passage the outward focus -- bless me that I might reach out."

Even though he likes and advocates the prayer, it should not be seen as a "quick fix" or a "magic formula," said Jeff Williams, pastor of First Baptist Church of Denton, Texas.

At Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas, prayer and spiritual formation professor Dan Crawford has been teaching about the prayer of Jabez for 15 years. When he does, however, he presents it as "a biblical example of when a man prayed a bold prayer and God said yes." While he believes God answers all prayers, Crawford asserted that God doesn't always answer all prayers in the affirmative. "Sometimes God says no; sometimes God says wait." The value of the Jabez model is to encourage Christians to pray boldly, Crawford said. It should not be construed as a "hocus-pocus magic formula," he warned.

Even so, scores of people are reporting that they have discovered life-changing results by praying the prayer of Jabez. Reviews of the book on Amazon.com, for example, are replete with dramatic testimonies, as is the book's own Web site, www.prayerofjabez.com.

Elmore said he and other members of his family have found personal blessings through the prayer of Jabez. Yet he understands how the prayer and the book might be misused. "The danger is not with the prayer of Jabez itself," Elmore said. "The danger would be in interpretation." A person who feels the need to pray this specific prayer as a formula to achieve God's blessing is "a person who's more concerned with prayer than the God who answers prayer," he said. "Our confidence is not in prayer; our confidence is in God."

White, likewise, has found the prayer of Jabez personally beneficial. And he's heard from other members of Trinity that they have too. Yet it's not the only thing he prays, he said. "It would be missing the point to think this becomes the mantra of life."

Christians should not fall into using the prayer of Jabez as a "ritualistic prayer," Crawford added. "It's biblical to see God as wanting to give us good things. That's throughout the Scriptures. I don't think it's totally dependent upon us asking for it in some kind of ritualistic prayer. It may depend more on faithfulness and how the circumstances fit in to God's overall plan. "Sometimes God gives to us that which to him is good but to us doesn't appear as we want it," Crawford said. "He works things for his good."

With more than 4.4 million copies of the little book now in circulation and no end in sight to the sales explosion, Christians who attempt to draw attention to what they see as potential theological dangers in the book often get a chilly reception.

Jim Holliday, pastor of Lyndon Baptist Church in Louisville, Ky., writes book reviews for the Kentucky Western Recorder. He recently reviewed "The Prayer of Jabez" and panned it with a one star rating out of five possible stars. Even members of his own congregation have questioned his judgment.

Yet he stands by his critique. "The book makes too much out of the prayer of Jabez," he asserted. "If I were going to spend every day in a prayer discipline, I would much rather spend it with the prayer Jesus taught us," Holliday said. "There's probably more to be mined there in terms of spiritual development than in Jabez."

Holliday's view is shared by Mike Gunn, pastor of the non-denominational Mars Hill Christian Fellowship in Seattle. The contemporary congregation with roots in the Bible church movement has posted a bruising critique of Wilkinson's book on its Web site. Gunn calls Wilkinson's book "a new low in the poor theology department" and nothing more than a fad.

"There are many great books on prayer," Gunn writes. "'The Prayer of Jabez' is not one of them. ... Stay away from anyone who pulls out an obscure verse from a genealogy and builds a theology around it."

Meanwhile, the marketing machine behind Christian publishing is working overtime to develop spin-off Jabez products. Versions geared to women, teens and children are planned, as are Bible study guides and videos. Plaques and cups already are available.

For his part, Wilkinson expressed shock at the success of the book, which began germinating in his mind 30 years ago as a student at Dallas Theological Seminary. "We can't claim any credit or brilliance," he told the Dallas Morning News. "It's just God deciding Jabez prayed this prayer thousands of years ago, and maybe now it's time to get it answered."

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Near Hiawatha, Kansas, stands a group of gravestones that boggles the imagination. A farmer named Davis, a self-made and determined man, managed to amass a considerable fortune, but had few friends and no relatives for whom he cared.

When his wife died, Davis erected an elaborate statue showing both her and himself sitting at the opposite ends of a loveseat. So pleased was he with this monument that he commissioned the sculptor to create another, this time showing him kneeling at her grave with a wreath in his hand. And that made such a fine impression upon him that he set out to erect still another tombstone depicting his wife kneeling at his future graveside with a wreath. He even put wings on her back as she now resided in another world. So, as time passed and one idea led to another, he eventually spent over a quarter of a million dollars on monuments to his wife and himself.

Davis had no interest in aiding his fellowmen or benefiting his nearby town. Nor did he become a blessing to the church, for he used all of his resources on shrines to self. He died at the age of 92, a resident of the poorhouse, and his cherished stones are slowly but surely sinking into the Kansas soil, victimized by vandalism and neglect, weathered by time.

[corrected by David Holwick; see bottom articles for more accurate details]

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Another version from Pastor Stephen Muncherian:

A while back I read about a strange group of tombstones not far from Lincoln, Kansas [should be Hiawatha - Lincoln is 150 miles away but Kansas City is closer]. A man named John Davis, a farmer and self-made man, had them erected. Davis began as a lowly hired hand and by sheer determination and frugality he managed to amass a considerable fortune. In the process, however, Davis didn’t make many friends.

When his wife died, Davis erected an elaborate statue in her memory. He hired a sculptor to design a monument which showed both her and him at opposite ends of a love seat. He was so pleased with the result that he commissioned another statue - this time of himself, kneeling at her grave, placing a wreath on it. That impressed him so much that he ordered a third monument - this time of his wife kneeling at his future gravesite placing a wreath. He had the sculptor add a pair of wings on her back giving her the appearance of an angel. One idea led to another until he’d spent over a quarter million dollars on the monuments to himself and his wife!

After using up all his money on stone statues - John Davis died at age 92, grim-faced and poor. And the monuments - each one is slowly sinking into the ground - each becoming victims of time - vandalism - neglect. In a few years they’ll be gone.

One other thing. Very few people attended Mr. Davis’ funeral. Only one person seemed genuinely moved by any sense of personal loss. He was Horace England - the tombstone salesman.

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The Davis Memorial

by Keith Stokes

Mount Hope Cemetery

606 Iowa Street

Hiawatha, Kansas 66434

(785) 742-7643

The most famous attraction in Hiawatha, Kansas, is a 1930’s tomb sitting in Mount Hope Cemetery near the southeast edge of town.

John Milburn Davis came to Hiawatha in 1879 at the age of 24. After a short time, he married Sarah Hart, the daughter of his employer. Her family did not approve. The Davises started their own farm, prospered and were married 50 years. When Sarah died in 1930, the Davises were wealthy. Over the next 7 years, John Davis spent most of that wealth on Sarah’s grave.

The amount spent on the Davis Memorial has been estimated at anywhere between $100,000 and several times that amount. In any case, it was a large amount and included the signing over of the farm and mansion - this during the Depression when money was tight.

Several reasons are offered for the extravagance including great love or guilt, anger at Sarah’s family, and a desire that the Davis fortune be exhausted before John’s death.

The Davis Memorial grew by stages, which is bit of a shame. If it had been planned, it might have been built on a larger lot and be more attractive.

The memorial began with a typical gravestone, but John worked with Horace England, a Hiawatha monument dealer, making the gravesite more and more elaborate. There are 11 life-size statues of John and Sarah Davis made of Italian marble, many stone urns and a marble canopy that is reported as weighing over 50 tons.

The last addition to the tomb was marble granite wall surrounding the memorial to keep people from entering. Unfortunately there wasn’t much room left on the lot and the wall is esthetically too close to the figures. The wall hasn’t been entirely effective, one of the urns is broken off and the head has been removed from one of the statues.

It takes only a few minutes to visit the Davis Memorial and thousands of people do every year. Visitors from all over the world sign the guest register. The Memorial has been featured in newspapers, magazines, television, Ripley’s Believe It or Not, and hundreds of web sites, making it one of the best known tourist attractions in northeast Kansas.

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The Strange Grave of John Milburn Davis

by Doug Kirby, Ken Smith, Mike Wilkins

John Milburn Davis was wealthy and very sad. His wife of 50+ years, Sarah, had died. After mourning in private for a couple of years, Davis decided to make his grief public. He commissioned the construction of an elaborate grave monument, begun in 1932 and not completed until 1940. Ten life-size Italian marble statues depict John and Sarah as they age. The 11th statue is of John alone, missing his left hand (he’d lost it in a farm accident), sitting next to “The Vacant Chair” where Sarah would have sat. This set of statues is made of granite, supposedly because Davis had exhausted his life savings on the project.

One statue, of a kneeling Mr. Davis next to a kneeling angel version of Mrs. Davis, had been decapitated before our last visit. Teens at the Hiawatha Pizza Hut had some leads: “That head was throwed in a pond is what we heard” (It was later recovered and reunited with Davis’s body).

John Davis reportedly enjoyed spending his last lonely years hanging around his work in progress, explaining it to visitors. He died, age 92, in 1947. At the time the town hated him for wasting his money on himself, but it has since profited considerably from having one of the most popular oddball attractions in Kansas.

A little snail that lived by the ocean noticed with envy the big and beautiful shell in which the lobster lived.

"Oh! How this little shell of mine pinches," whined the little snail. "What a grand palace the lobster carries on his back! I wish I lived in his place. Oh! Wouldn't my friends admire me in that shell! Think of a snail living in a mansion like that!"

In time a wonderful thing occurred. The watching, envious snail beheld the lobster work right out of his shell to grow up in another, larger one. When the empty, metallic green shell of the lobster lay neglected on the beach, the snail said, "Now I shall have my wish. Hurrah! The little snail is going to live in a lobster shell!"

In his pride he cried out to the birds overhead, "Ah, the little snail is going to live in a lobster shell."

He cried to the cattle in the field, "Oh, oh! Now you shall see. The little snail is going to live in a palace."

So the birds and the cattle in the field were curious and they watched the little snail. The snail pulled himself loose from his own little shell, and cried, "Well, I'm glad to say I'm through with you. Goodbye. You've pinched me and pressed me for the last time. I am going to live in the grand lobster shell."

The birds and the animals saw the little snail proudly crawl into the towering lobster shell and he huffed and puffed and blew and gasped in an effort to make himself fit. But with all his efforts he felt very small inside the grand lobster shell. He grew tired, too. That night he died because the great empty shell was so cold.

A wise old crow then said, "You see! That's what comes of envy. What you have is enough. Be yourself and save yourself from a lot of trouble. How much better to be a little snail in a comfortable shell than to be a little snail in a big shell and freeze to death!"

There is something about an inbox that subtlety (and not so subtlety) conveys the notion that we are important. With three missed calls on the cell phone, 18 unread e-mails, and two messages on the answering machine, we are pelted with the enticing idea: “Someone needs me!” The immediate ring, buzz, or pop-up note proclaiming the arrival of these new messages is somehow complimentary, even as it demands our attention -- “Check your mailbox now! Someone is looking for you!”

The language of technology seems to further our sense of importance by bidding us to claim and personalize these worlds. I am only one click away from “my documents,” “my calendar,” “my favorites,” “my music,” “my pictures,” and “my shopping cart.” Thomas de Zengotita calls it “MeWorld.” In a book that examines the ways in which the world of media shapes our lives, de Zengotita portrays the technologically advanced, media-saturated West as a place filled with millions of individual “flattered selves,” each living in its own insulated, personalized world.(1) He believes the narcissism that comes from living in MeWorld has been fashioned and is constantly being fed by media representations in all areas of our lives, from those private representations that purport us the star (home videos, wedding photos) to the public advertisements, television, and magazines that address us personally.

Subtle as it may be, the most precarious part of flattered living is that we gradually lose sight of both life and self. Despite all of the overt declarations on my computer, this is not, in fact, my world. Though I am flattered by the attention of MeWorld, I am not the center of all existence. French philosopher Rene Descartes outlined one reason why: “Now, if I were independent of all other existence, and were myself the author of my being... I should have given myself all those perfections of which I have some idea, and I should thus be God.” In other words, if I were truly independent, if the world truly revolved around me, why should I find in myself any imperfection at all? Is it not then irrational to live as if I am the center of the world?

Christians might take this inquiry one step further. How do I cultivate an awareness that this is God’s world in a world that reminds me at every turn that it is mine?

The counter-cultural admission that we are not our own, nor walking alone is certainly a starting point. A poem called “The Avowal” by Denise Levertov speaks to such an awareness:

As swimmers dare

to lie face to the sky

and water bears them,

as hawks rest upon air

and air sustains them,

so would I learn to attain

freefall, and float

into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,

knowing no effort earns

that all-surrounding grace.

Living authentically involves an understanding of what truly undergirds us. Hence the fitting prayer of the hymnist: “This is my father’s world. O let me ne’er forget.”

When Jesus looked to the disciples on one of his last nights with them on earth, he covered their hearts with a similar notion. “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going... I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:1-4).

The earth is surely the Lord’s and all that is in it. It is also our starting point, the place where we begin the journey toward home. We are not flattered on our way to this house, but transformed by the very one who prepares the way.

________

1. Thomas de Zengotita MEDIATED: HOW THE MEDIA SHAPES YOUR WORLD AND THE WAY YOU LIVE IN IT (New York: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2005), 21.

________

Copyright © 2007 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.

For thus says the LORD to the house of Israel: “Seek Me and live” Amos 5:4

To be honest, I have to say that I live a large part of my life for myself. I’m not proud of that fact. I’m rather ashamed, to be honest. If I were to add up the minutes of my day on a ledger with two columns the first being labeled “The Lord’s Minutes” and the second “My Minutes” — well, come midnight, I don’t really think I want to check the totals. I’m not trying to lay a guilt trip on myself or you or anyone else, but I do have to ask myself these questions:

1.. “How many minutes a day do I read my Bible?”

2.. “How many minutes a day do I pray?”

3.. “How many minutes a day do I share my faith with others?”

4.. “How many minutes a day do I thank the Lord for His kindness towards me?”

5.. “How many minutes a day do I sing His praises?”

6.. Then there are these questions: “How many minutes a day do I over eat?”

7.. “How many minutes a day do I think about what I want?”

8.. “How many minutes a day do I do what I want to do?”

9.. “How many minutes a day do I promote myself?”

Well, that’s enough questions because they reveal too well that I tend to live for myself much more than I live for Jesus. What about you?

An epidemic is defined as any communicable or non-communicable disease that affects a disproportionately large number of individuals within a population, community or region at the same time. Throughout history, our world has seen its share of epidemics -- black death, bubonic plague and malaria, just to name a few. More recently, the attention of the medical community has been turned toward epidemics such as HIV/AIDS and the West Nile Virus. Epidemics tend to come out of nowhere. Much like wolves in sheep’s clothing, they sneak in unaware and before you know it half the flock is missing.

I’m convinced that there’s an epidemic that has infected the Western church of the 21st century. I’ll simply refer to the epidemic as myopia. No, I’m not referring to the medical condition in which objects can be seen distinctly only when held very near to the eye. I’m talking about spiritual myopia -- a kind of Christianity that has become so focused on self that it no longer resembles the faith of our fathers.

The side effects of this spiritual myopia can be seen and heard all around us. Christian bookstore shelves are lined with volumes that entreat us to “live our best lives now” and “become a better you.” Much of the music that receives a substantial amount of airtime on Christian radio stations is devoid of any reference to God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, the Gospel or the mission of the church. Those references have been replaced with much more subjective ones that focus on me, myself and I. Songs are now intentionally written with a much more man-centered focus in the hope that they will receive playback on mainstream media outlets.

Even preachers have not been immune to this debilitating epidemic. In some circles the sermon no longer is seen as the vehicle through which men of God seek to communicate the truth of God “in demonstration of the Spirit and of power” (1 Corinthians 2:4). Preachers increasingly have given into the temptation to allow their congregations -- and not the Word of God -- to shape their messages. Consequently, some preachers have traded substance for style and our congregations are showing the myopic effects of the exchange.

Just recently, I experienced a striking example of this epidemic in my own community. I was driving down the road when I noticed the backside of a church sign. The sign was intended to bear a message to the church’s parishioners as they left the church parking lot. The sign simply read, “Claim your blessing today!” Immediately, I thought to myself, “What happened to the signs that used to say ‘You are now entering your mission field’?” Spiritual myopia has left us in such a stupor that the person we focus on the most as we come to and depart from God’s house is ourself.

Having identified the epidemic and its tragic side effects, we need to turn our attention towards a cure. The only cure I’m aware of is to take the focus off of ourselves and to “turn our eyes upon Jesus.” How do we begin to do that? I think we’ve got to start from the top. Pastors must stop allowing the culture and their congregants to determine their message. God’s ambassadors must faithfully deliver the message of their King once again by preaching “the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27). Preaching the whole counsel of God might not always draw large crowds, but if it is a huge following that the pastor is seeking, he is part of the problem and not the solution.

Further, our churches need to recapture a passion for the vital ministry of prayer. Of course, we could list a number of verses that encourage us to be men and women of prayer, but just think practically for a moment. When you have spent time humbling yourself in prayer, are you more prone to think about your own desires or the desires of God? My own experience has proven that I’m never more concerned about the things of God than when I am praying. As the old song says, “The things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”

Finally, we must make the Father’s business our business once again. We’ve all found ourselves asking this question: “Is God really satisfied with what I’m doing right now?” There are many details of God’s will that can cause us to wonder about such things. Yet, when we attempt to fulfill the Great Commission, the questions and doubts begin to go away. The one thing Jesus commanded us to do when He ascended on high was to “make disciples of all the nations” (Matthew 28:19). He said that we should be a people constantly committed to the work of going, baptizing and teaching. A cure for our current epidemic will surely be found as God’s people begin to turn their attention towards the fields that are “white for harvest” (John 4:35).

A Christian songwriter from yester-year apparently found the cure for our spiritual myopia. Exactly 50 years ago he penned the words to a song that we seldom sing, “Win the Lost at Any Cost.” The words of the chorus go like this:

Souls are crying, men are dying,

Won’t you lead them to the cross?

Go and find them, help to win them,

Win the lost at any cost.

Go out and win, rescue from sin,

Day’s almost done, low sinks the sun,

Souls are crying, men are dying,

Win the lost at any cost.

When we “turn our eyes upon Jesus,” surely our lives, our families and our churches will express this same manner of urgency as well. May God grant healing from our present epidemic very soon. The transformation of our lives and the salvation of the lost is depending upon it.

________

Todd Stinnett is pastor of Grace Baptist Church in Morristown, Tennessee

Sermon in 2 Timothy series. 2 Timothy 3:1-5

THESE TERRIBLE TIMES

====================

I. How bad is it out there?

A. America seems to be in rough shape, morally.

B. Is it worse than other times?

II. The time of the Last Days.

A. The Old Testament uses it to describe when God comes to earth.

B. The New Testament picks up on this idea. Acts 2:16-21

C. The Last Days cover our age, but will intensify.

III. What rotten people will be like. {John Stott)

A. Love is a key.

B. The rest of the list details the breakdown in relationships.

C. All of these are the consequences of godless self-centeredness.

IV. Some say the problem is religion itself.

A. In our society, the concept of morality itself is under assault.

B. Atheists are not the greatest enemy.

V. Do you fit this passage?

Many of us lack self-awareness.

Leo Buscaglia, a best-selling author popular for his messages on the importance of love, once took a 5-hour flight from Los Angeles to New Jersey. When he took his aisle seat, it was obvious the man next to him was irritated by his presence. The man explained to Buscaglia that he had hoped to have room to spread out.

Within moments, they heard a baby cry. “Great!” the man exclaimed under his breath. “I hate babies on airplanes. We’ll have to listen to that child scream for five hours!”

When the flight attendant advised that there was an area at the rear of the plane reserved for smokers, he said: “I hate smokers. They should be shot!” Buscaglia replied: “All of them? I know some nice people who smoke.” But the man replied with greater resolve: “I hate smokers -- all of them!” [This obviously happened in the 1980s. The man would like our current policies!]

When at last the plane was airborne, the man turned to Buscaglia and asked, “What do you do for a living?”

Buscaglia answered, “I am a professor.”

“Really? What do you teach?”

“Mostly I teach courses in relationships, how to treat one another, how to get along. Basically I teach about love.”

The ornery traveler responded with absolute sincerity, “I’m glad to meet someone who shares my values!” [1]

The Bible recognizes this shortcoming and gives us these admonishments:

"See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:24

“A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart.”

Proverbs 21:2

“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.”

Proverbs 14:8

________

1. Michael B. Brown, Be All That You Can Be (Lima, Ohio: CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 1995), p. 2; quoted in the sermon “Living With Difficult People,” by Rev. King Duncan, Seven Worlds Publishing (Kerux Sermon #23009).

Ted DiBiase made himself famous with the phrase “Everybody has a price.” He was billed in professional wrestling as the “Million Dollar Man,” a villain in a black and gold suit with a diamond-encrusted belt. He has been featured in video games, and action figures bear his likeness.

A popular wrestler in the 1970s and ‘80s with the World Wrestling Federation, DiBiase toured the world flying first class, staying in five-star hotels and dispensing $100 tips in an effort to maintain the illusion that he was a powerful, confident, self-made man with no needs he couldn’t meet on his own.

People snicker about the authenticity and even the sanity of professional wrestling, and DiBiase freely admits his character was pure fluff and the luxuries he enjoyed were handouts from his bosses.

But there’s no doubting the reality of DiBiase’s faith in Jesus Christ. In fact, his messages to two packed morning worship services at Union Hill Baptist Church in Holts Summit, Missouri, earlier this year were as blunt as a body slam.

“Bear fruit or perish,” he said, referring to Matthew 7:19, which says, “Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”

“That’s my story,” DiBiase said. “I have had all the things the world says are good. I was a success, a rags to riches story, and I had a lot of fun. But I wasn’t content. Worldly success is a lie straight from hell.”

Born into a Catholic family, DiBiase claimed to be a child of God but bore no fruit. His stepfather was wrestler “Iron Mike” DiBiase, so he grew up around professional wrestling. His father died of a heart attack during a wrestling match when Ted was 15, and his mother soon slipped into depression and turned to alcohol. She and Ted moved to a small town in southern Arizona, and after a few years in college he decided to follow in his father’s footsteps and enter the ring. Through the trauma of his father’s death and his mother’s alcoholism, Ted had remained faithful to the Catholic Church and even served as an altar boy.

Even though he knew of the things of God, he knew there was no evidence of Christ in his life. DiBiase knew that despite the million-dollar persona, he was worthless in his sin. One day while attending church with his wife Melanie, he heard a truth that changed his course.

“All those years of my life I’d been paying God lip service, but I had no relationship with Him. Why? Because I enjoyed being a self-serving egomaniac,” DiBiase said. “My mouth said one thing, but my actions said something else. The Bible says in 1 John 2:16, ‘For everything in the world -- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does -- comes not from the Father but from the world.’

“That’s who I was,” he said. “That day I asked the Lord to forgive me; if there’s a price to pay, then I’ll pay it. Today I’m a different man with Him guiding and leading me.”

DiBiase is no longer the Million Dollar Man. A neck injury in the early ‘90s forced him to retire from wrestling. Although he has numerous championship belts, he now spends his time bearing fruit, preaching the Gospel and encouraging people through his Heart of David Ministry.

DiBiase’s messages at Union Hill did not fall on deaf ears in mid-April. Pastor Frank Whitney said two people were saved after hearing DiBiase, and more than a dozen people rededicated their lives to Christ.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #10766]

I can only wonder how many people I pass every day without knowing much about them.

Some of these folks are neighbors I still don’t know well. Others are coworkers and students on a campus large enough that knowing everyone closely is not easy. Some are members of our local church, a three-year-old church plant.

Here’s what I’m learning, however. Everybody has a story, and I’m richer if I know those stories. To get there, though, I must ask people about themselves. Here are some reasons why asking questions makes a difference:

1. It requires you to take attention off yourself. When you really want to know about others, it’s hard to keep the spotlight on yourself.

2. It affirms others. Few things are as encouraging to us as someone else genuinely wanting to know about us. You’ll make somebody’s day better when you show that kind of interest.

3. It makes you listen. That means you may have to lay down your phone, close your computer and communicate face-to-face with undivided attention.

4. It helps you know better the people you lead. If you’re a church leader, my guess is that you don’t know everyone in your church at a genuinely personal level. You likely won’t know them, either, until you take the initiative to ask them about themselves.

5. It moves introverts out of their comfort zone. I know it does, because I’m that introvert. Making a commitment to ask intentional questions allows me to engage in conversations with less anxiety.

6. It helps guide your praying. A generic prayer of, “God, help our church” has little comparison with, “God, please help ____________ as she seeks a new job where she can be your witness.” The latter kind of detail comes only when we ask people about themselves.

7. It’s a means to connect with non-believers. Evangelism is sometimes difficult because we don’t know how to engage people we don’t already know. Learning to ask simple questions like “Where are you from?” and “What do you do for a living?” can lead to “Do you attend church?” and “Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

You, too, are likely going to pass many people today -- including those whose names you know well, but whose stories you don’t know at all. Slow down and learn some of their stories. You’ll grow to appreciate others more and you’ll pray for them with more direction and care.

I can only wonder how many people I pass every day without knowing much about them.

Some of these folks are neighbors I still don’t know well. Others are coworkers and students on a campus large enough that knowing everyone closely is not easy. Some are members of our local church, a three-year-old church plant.

Here’s what I’m learning, however. Everybody has a story, and I’m richer if I know those stories. To get there, though, I must ask people about themselves. Here are some reasons why asking questions makes a difference:

1. It requires you to take attention off yourself. When you really want to know about others, it’s hard to keep the spotlight on yourself.

2. It affirms others. Few things are as encouraging to us as someone else genuinely wanting to know about us. You’ll make somebody’s day better when you show that kind of interest.

3. It makes you listen. That means you may have to lay down your phone, close your computer and communicate face-to-face with undivided attention.

4. It helps you know better the people you lead. If you’re a church leader, my guess is that you don’t know everyone in your church at a genuinely personal level. You likely won’t know them, either, until you take the initiative to ask them about themselves.

5. It moves introverts out of their comfort zone. I know it does, because I’m that introvert. Making a commitment to ask intentional questions allows me to engage in conversations with less anxiety.

6. It helps guide your praying. A generic prayer of, “God, help our church” has little comparison with, “God, please help ____________ as she seeks a new job where she can be your witness.” The latter kind of detail comes only when we ask people about themselves.

7. It’s a means to connect with non-believers. Evangelism is sometimes difficult because we don’t know how to engage people we don’t already know. Learning to ask simple questions like “Where are you from?” and “What do you do for a living?” can lead to “Do you attend church?” and “Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

You, too, are likely going to pass many people today -- including those whose names you know well, but whose stories you don’t know at all. Slow down and learn some of their stories. You’ll grow to appreciate others more and you’ll pray for them with more direction and care.

The lead in a recent WASHINGTON POST article paints a disturbing picture: “Children rank as the highest source of personal fulfillment for their parents but have dropped to one of the least-cited factors in a successful marriage, according to a national survey.”

What’s the matter with that sentence? Too much to unpack entirely in a few minutes, but let’s zero in on those two enticing words: “personal fulfillment.” The emphasis on that idea tells us a lot about what’s really wrong with marriage and family today.

As the article states, “The 88-page report ... underscores a widening gap between parenthood and marriage — at a time when living together out of wedlock has grown increasingly common and nearly one in four births is to an unmarried woman.”

The author quotes several people who say that they think of marriage and children separately, not as a package deal. By a wide margin, the respondents in this survey still want children. They even realize that children need a mother and a father. But increasingly fewer of them are practicing what they say they believe. Why? Because they also believe that marriage is all about “mutual happiness and fulfillment” and “personal satisfaction” instead of the “bearing and raising of children.”

Do you see what’s missing here? Nothing about putting someone else first. Just marriage as something that makes you feel good — which, as anyone who’s been married will testify, isn’t an idea that works for very long. It’s no wonder that more and more couples have trouble committing to marriage, and that many who do are having trouble making their marriages last.

This is so ironic. We live in an era where romance seems to be on its deathbed and sexual relationships have become casual, ordinary business. Yet here we have a generation with such an impossibly romanticized view of marriage that they have to find the spouse who’s always wonderful and satisfying — or no spouse at all.

And it’s also no wonder that the idea trickles down to child-raising. People want children to satisfy their own needs, or not at all. You may remember that a while back I talked about two very different mothers: one of them risked her marriage and her health and spent a small fortune conceiving a child; the other was filing a “wrongful-birth” suit over a botched abortion –a child she didn’t want. At bottom, I said, they both had the same idea: that a child was a commodity and that their right to self-fulfillment was their chief goal.

At least one married father quoted in this article, David Joyce, got it right when he said, “I think what we’re running into ... is people saying, ‘[marriage] needs to be about me.’ And it doesn’t. It needs to be about ‘us’ or about ‘we.’ Anything that’s based on a ‘me’ scenario isn’t going to last very long.” Joyce is right.

So what kind of marriage lasts? A marriage in which the husband and the wife understand that marriage is about self-giving, not about self-satisfaction. That parenthood is a calling to self-sacrifice for the good of the child, not an avenue for self-fulfillment.

We need to start teaching our kids and young adults that me-centered families cannot survive. And instead of delivering happiness and self-fulfillment, the me-first attitude will bring, in the end, nothing but emptiness and a declining birthrate that will soon enough bring about the end of western civilization.

________

Copyright (c) 2007 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #9068]

We who battle "internal sins" can easily think our sins somehow more respectable than more blatant sins such as adultery and drunkenness. The moment we entertain such thoughts, we fall into an even deeper hole.

Malcolm Muggeridge expressed the danger this way: "It is precisely when you consider the BEST in man that you see there is in each of us a hard core of pride or self-centeredness which corrupts our BEST achievements and blights our BEST experiences. It comes out in all sorts of ways - in the jealousy which spoils our friendships, in the vanity we feel when we have done something pretty good, in the easy conversion of love into lust, in the meanness which makes us depreciate the efforts of other people, in the distortion of our own judgment by our own self-interest, in our fondness for flattery and our resentment of blame, in our self-assertive profession of fine ideals which we never begin to practise."

[page 30 on 3/6/87?]

____________

A slightly different quote, perhaps from one of Yancey's books:

“Good Christians who battle ‘internal sins’ can easily think our sins somehow more respectable than more blatant sins such as adultery and drunkenness.

"I have never met a recovering alcoholic who denied his or her own sinfulness; But I have met many Christians who find it difficult to confess their own sins.”

Human beings appear to be genetically engineered to be happiest and healthiest when we spend a lot of time selflessly helping others — and unhealthy when we’re mostly devoted to self-gratification.

That’s the eye-opening conclusion of University of North Carolina researchers, based on a study of 80 volunteers. The study subjects were asked how often they felt hedonic pleasure — the kind of happiness brought about by enjoying a tasty meal or buying themselves something. They were also asked how often they contributed something important to society that gave them a deeper sense of purpose.

The researchers then drew the subjects’ blood, and found that the genes of the volunteers whose lives contained lots of pleasure but little meaning were priming cells to express high levels of inflammation — which is linked to cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease — and a weaker anti-viral response to infections. “Their daily activities provide short-term happiness yet result in negative physical consequences long-term,” psychophysiologist Barbara Fredrickson tells ScienceDaily.com.

People who emphasize service to others and a connection to community, on the other hand, showed a pattern of gene expression linked to less inflammation and stronger immunity. There are two distinct kinds of happiness, says study co-author Steven Cole, and “our genes can tell the difference.”

I can only wonder how many people I pass every day without knowing much about them.

Some of these folks are neighbors I still don’t know well. Others are coworkers and students on a campus large enough that knowing everyone closely is not easy. Some are members of our local church, a three-year-old church plant.

Here’s what I’m learning, however. Everybody has a story, and I’m richer if I know those stories. To get there, though, I must ask people about themselves. Here are some reasons why asking questions makes a difference:

1. It requires you to take attention off yourself. When you really want to know about others, it’s hard to keep the spotlight on yourself.

2. It affirms others. Few things are as encouraging to us as someone else genuinely wanting to know about us. You’ll make somebody’s day better when you show that kind of interest.

3. It makes you listen. That means you may have to lay down your phone, close your computer and communicate face-to-face with undivided attention.

4. It helps you know better the people you lead. If you’re a church leader, my guess is that you don’t know everyone in your church at a genuinely personal level. You likely won’t know them, either, until you take the initiative to ask them about themselves.

5. It moves introverts out of their comfort zone. I know it does, because I’m that introvert. Making a commitment to ask intentional questions allows me to engage in conversations with less anxiety.

6. It helps guide your praying. A generic prayer of, “God, help our church” has little comparison with, “God, please help ____________ as she seeks a new job where she can be your witness.” The latter kind of detail comes only when we ask people about themselves.

7. It’s a means to connect with non-believers. Evangelism is sometimes difficult because we don’t know how to engage people we don’t already know. Learning to ask simple questions like “Where are you from?” and “What do you do for a living?” can lead to “Do you attend church?” and “Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

You, too, are likely going to pass many people today -- including those whose names you know well, but whose stories you don’t know at all. Slow down and learn some of their stories. You’ll grow to appreciate others more and you’ll pray for them with more direction and care.

Human beings appear to be genetically engineered to be happiest and healthiest when we spend a lot of time selflessly helping others — and unhealthy when we’re mostly devoted to self-gratification.

That’s the eye-opening conclusion of University of North Carolina researchers, based on a study of 80 volunteers. The study subjects were asked how often they felt hedonic pleasure — the kind of happiness brought about by enjoying a tasty meal or buying themselves something. They were also asked how often they contributed something important to society that gave them a deeper sense of purpose.

The researchers then drew the subjects’ blood, and found that the genes of the volunteers whose lives contained lots of pleasure but little meaning were priming cells to express high levels of inflammation — which is linked to cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease — and a weaker anti-viral response to infections. “Their daily activities provide short-term happiness yet result in negative physical consequences long-term,” psychophysiologist Barbara Fredrickson tells ScienceDaily.com.

People who emphasize service to others and a connection to community, on the other hand, showed a pattern of gene expression linked to less inflammation and stronger immunity. There are two distinct kinds of happiness, says study co-author Steven Cole, and “our genes can tell the difference.”