234 Sermon Illustrations on Family

Question: Like most six-year-olds, when things don’t go my son’s way, he gets really upset. Lately when things don’t go right he blames God, and it breaks my heart. For example, he hurt his ankle the other day. When he woke up the next morning and it wasn’t better he cried, “I prayed all night about my ankle and God didn’t heal me. He only helps the people in the Bible and not me. I hate God!”

He even gets mad at God about little things. If he messes up on a picture he’s making or doesn’t catch a ball he gets upset that God isn’t helping him.

I don’t seem to have the right words to explain to him that God loves him and is in control but doesn’t necessarily help him in every move he makes. Do you have any words of wisdom about getting through to him?

Answer: As difficult a time as this is with your son, it also sounds like a time when you will be able to teach him some things about who God really is, truths that many people never learn.

Teach him believers still have difficulties I know that you already see that your son needs to learn during this time that being a believer in God does not mean we don’t go through difficulties. My encouragement to you would be to not be upset that he is acting this way… it’s a very natural reaction.

You may be worried that these questions he’s asking mean he won’t love God as he grows up, and nothing could be further from the truth. These reactions give you the opportunity to tell him the truth about the real God. (Although bones don’t heal overnight, He made them so that they would heal. As believers we feel pain and frustration, but He will help us to grow in spite of it all.) Hearing those truths from you now will put him way ahead spiritually. He’ll still be Jekyll and Hyde — like all 6 year olds are, but he’ll be learning truths that will last a lifetime!

"Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing." Jim Rohn ***

FIFTH PILLAR OF SUCCESS: RELATIONSHIPS, PART ONE - BASICS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

I've come to the realization that everything we do is based on relationships. Relationships make the world go around. We buy out of relationships, wars are fought over broken relationships, we have children because of relationships - every single thing that takes place on this planet is an extension of and is driven by relationships. Our relationships can allow us to experience the peaks of ecstasy and the low valleys of agony. They have the greatest potential to give us joy and cause us to grow and become more if we so choose.

This month we will explore the secrets of successful relationships, and we will seek to understand what ingredients make healthy relationships in our lives. Because ultimately, one person caring about another represents life's greatest value. We will look at four main areas:

1. Basics of Healthy Relationships. There are certain fundamentals that, if mastered, will take you far down the road of healthy relationships. The key to understanding relationships is that relationships involve people. And while every person is different, there are general principles that make most people tick. If we understand these basics or fundamentals, and operate accordingly, we can make our bad relationships good and our good relationships great. We will cover these basics later in this edition.

2. Family and Spousal Relationships. The primary relationships that most people have are with their family. Yes, that wonderful enigma we call family. Those deep and meaningful relationships that can bring the highlights - and the lowlights - of life. That group of people, many of whom we didn't even get to choose, who will walk through this life with us. Your family relationships must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship growing and flourishing. We will discuss how to have great family and spousal relationships in next week's edition.

3. Friendships. Second to family, friends are the most important relationships we have. Friendships are unique because they are the relationships we have that are almost entirely voluntary. You don't get to choose your parents or your siblings, but you do get to choose your friends. And so many times we find that these relationships can provide matchless dynamics not found in our other relationships. These especially can, in their own special way, enhance our other relationships. This makes the relationship unique, and we will take a deeper look into successful friendships in two weeks.

4. Business Relationships. Many people do not understand how powerful relationships are in business. You've heard me say it before, but you cannot succeed by yourself. It is hard to find a rich hermit. So many times we underestimate this unique dynamic that has the potential to take us to new levels in our businesses. We may understand that family and friends are about relationships, but mistakenly think that "business is business". The fact is that even in business, relationships rule. Think for a moment about two sales people, one of whom is a friend and one of whom you have never met before. When it comes right down to it, you are most likely to buy from the one you know. That is the foundation of relationships. In three weeks, we will look at how to have great business relationships.

THE BASICS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Nothing can bring more joy to life than beautifully fulfilling relationships. The depth of meaning, understanding and appreciation that these kinds of relationships bring is almost unfathomable. And, of course, as many people find out, nothing can bring so much pain as a broken relationship with someone dear to you.

Yes, relationships make the world go 'round'. For better or for worse. But the exciting thing is that we can do much to increase our chances of having terrific relationships -- relationships that are fulfilling and exciting, rich with meaning, joy and love. There are basics that govern most human relationships and these basics are what I want to cover below. So, here is my list of the eight essentials that I believe make up the basics of healthy relationships.

1. Love. Now, this all depends on your definition of love. Most people think that love is a feeling, but I would strongly debate that point. Actually, the concept of "like" is really about feelings. When you say you like someone, you are talking about how you feel. But when you say that you love someone, you are not necessarily talking about how you feel about them. Love is much deeper than a feeling. Love is a commitment we make to people to always treat that person right and honorably. Yes, for those we become especially close to, we will have feelings of love, but I believe it is time for us to re-examine what we mean by love. We must expand our definition of what love means by including the commitment aspect of love. For healthy relationships, we must love everyone. We may not like them based on how we feel about them, but we should love them based on our definition of love above which in turn determines how we should act towards them, that is, treat them right and honorably. This is the basis of all healthy relationships.

2. Serving Heart. My good friend Zig Ziglar says frequently that "you can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want out of life." The concept he is talking about is having a heart and life that is focused on serving other people. The Bible puts it this way: consider others' interests as more important than your own. This is also fundamental to healthy relationships.

3. Honest Communication. In any good relationship you will find open and honest communication. Communication is so important because it is the vehicle that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables it to connect with another person. Isn't communication amazing? One person is feeling one thing and through communication, another person can find that out and feel it too -- amazing. And this is a vital goal in good relationships -- to communicate, to tell each other what we are thinking and what we are feeling. It enables us to make a connection. Sometimes we are the one speaking and other times we are listening. Either way, the central tenet is communication for the sake of building the relationship and making it stronger. And here's what's exciting, if we just communicate, we can get by. But if we communicated skillfully, we can work miracles!

4. Friendliness. Put simply, relationships just work better when we are friendly with others. Being friendly can cushion the bumpy ride we sometimes experience in our relationships. Cheerfulness goes a long way toward building lasting relationships. I mean, nobody wants to be around a grump, do they? The fact is that the friendlier you are the more you are going to have people who want to pursue longer-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with you. So cheer up, put on a smile, have kind words to say to others, treat people with a great deal of friendliness and you will see your relationships improve.

5. Patience. People being people, we have an awful lot of time for practice in the area of patience. People are not perfect and will constantly fail us. And conversely we will fail other people. So while we try to have more patience for others, we need their patience as well. So often, I think relationships break down because people give up and lose patience. I am talking about all kinds of friendships, marriages, business relationships, etc. Recent research has shown that those marriages that go through major turmoil and then make it through, are very strong after doing so. Patience wins out. Those who give up on relationships too early or because the other person isn't perfect, often forget that their next friend, their next spouse or business partner, will not be perfect either! So, we would do well to cultivate this skill and learn to have more patience.

6. Loyalty. Loyalty is a commitment to another person. Sadly, loyalty is often a missing element in many relationships today. We have forgotten what it means to be loyal. Our consumer mentality has affected this to some degree. People are no longer loyal to a product. And unfortunately, many companies are not loyal to their clients or patrons. Regrettably, this has spilled over into our relationships. It is one thing to switch brands of dishwashing detergent. It is another thing altogether to switch friends. Sometimes we just need to commit to being loyal and let the relationship move forward. We need a higher level of stick-to-it-iveness! This kind of loyalty will take our relationships to a much deeper level. What a powerful and secure feeling of knowing that you have a relationship with someone who is loyal to you and you to them -- that neither of you is going anywhere even when things get tough. Wow -- how powerful!

7. A Common Purpose. One of the basics of healthy relationships is to have a common purpose, and oftentimes this is a component that is initially overlooked, but for a long-term, long-lasting relationship it is vital. Think about how many friends you have met through the years while working on a common purpose. Maybe it was someone you met while participating in sports, while working on a political campaign, attending church, at your office, or anything that brought you together to work on a common purpose. You had that strong common bond of purpose that brought you together and held you together. Working together, building together, failing and succeeding together - all while pursuing a common purpose - that is what relationships are made of. Find people with whom you have common purposes and sow the seeds of great relationships, and then reap the long-lasting benefits.

8. Fun. All good relationships have some element of fun. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean, loud, raucous fun, though that is appropriate for some relationships. But even in business relationships there should be some fun. It should be fun to do business with those who you are going to have a long-term business relationship with. Fun brings enjoyment to the relationship and that is important. I think that oftentimes this key element can be easily forgotten or neglected in our family and spousal relationships. The fun things we did initially in a new relationship after a while can be taken for granted or simply fall by the wayside and we stop creating the fun and joy. So remember to consciously craft fun situations and moments, for these are the glue that hold our memories together and make our lives sweet.

There are so many key ingredients to making and maintaining great, long-lasting relationships. Each of the eight components we discussed brings unique dynamics and rewards to your relationships. Let's begin to focus on improving our relationships in these areas and see what miracles occur!

In Galatians 4:18, Paul states: "But it is good to be zealously affected always in a good thing..." When my wife and I read that the other morning, while having our morning devotional time, it grabbed me and has not let me go since. That phrase "zealously affected" stood out like a neon sentinel frantically beckoning me to stop and consider. Zealously affected, zealously affected, zealously affected. What was God trying to tell me?

I looked up zealously and zeal in my trusty 1828 Webster's dictionary, then in my more modern dictionary. The meaning was basically the same: 'Passionate ardor in the pursuit of any thing.' So, to be zealously affected in a good thing, IS a good thing! What's more, that zealous affectation should be continual. But what kinds of things are good? Most of us can answer that, but let me take a moment to share with you some of my thoughts on what any good thing might be.

God: His Goodness, His Love, His Mercy, His Peace First and foremost, we should be zealously affected for the Lord our God. Unfortunately, in this day and age, many of us do not carry that zeal with us at all times. However, there is a lost and dying world out there in need of a Saviour. We should be zealously sharing His Word, His love, telling others about His peace, and spreading abroad His joy. We should stand at the crossroads of life, and with an unmistakably loving zeal, show the wayward soul the right path, the straight path, the true path. We should reach out to fellow Christians also, helping them in times of adversity, sharing in times of victory, supporting them in sickness, and rejoicing with them.

Your Family: Spouse, children, extended family We should be zealously affected toward our families. We should encourage our wives, our husbands, our children, to higher plateaus of God's grace We should abound with zeal in helping each one attain their highest potential with the talents that God has so graciously given them. Our cups should spill over with the zeal of patience and kindness while living with them in our everyday lives. Let your zeal toward your family show!

Husbands and wives, take time to be zealously affected by your spouse. Take them in your arms for a warm embrace. Hold hands while shopping, while walking to the church door, while sitting in the pew, while going to sleep at night, and while sitting and talking to each other as you look softly into each others eyes. Put down the paper, put down the book, turn off the television, stay at home, stop watching the sports, stop the busy-ness and share a wink, share a smile, share a glance, or share an ice cream soda. Get zealously affected, like you used to!

Home Schooling Your Children: Present and Future Remember when you first decided to home school? Oh, what a rollercoaster of emotions some of us rode upon! Elation, fear, excitement, dread, giddiness, confusion, submission, trepidation, and quiet peace, they were all there.

The decision to home school our two sons was not an easy one. In fact, our sons were in the public school system up until the last nine weeks of their third and first grade years. During all that public school time, however, the Lord was working on us.

I look back and find it amazing that God ever got through to us, as stubborn as we tried to be. He used some friends from our church at that time to encourage us to explore home schooling. They encouraged all right, though they did it in what we thought was a rather overly rambunctious way. Was it perhaps, that they were zealously affected by home schooling at the time?

We read, studied, and read some more all in an attempt to show these "affected" folks that public school was just fine. However, through all our study, God was working and convicting our hearts. Once the Lord got through to us, it was just a matter of weeks before God convinced us that we should not wait till the current school year was over, as we wanted to do. He kept telling us, "If it's wrong next year, it is wrong now." We got the point. We brought our sons home for the last nine weeks of the year. We, too, were now becoming zealously affected.

Since bringing our children home to be trained and educated, we have never looked back. Even though they have graduated from our home school high school, we still enjoy their company, and they enjoy ours. Though they are twenty-two and twenty-one, we still learn together, share together, and laugh together. Our home is still a home of home schooling zealots! We LOVE home schooling. We are, and continue to be, zealously affected with home schooling.

Though Home School Enrichment is a business, we all see it primarily as a ministry [Note: This article was originally published in Home School Enrichment Magazine.]. We talk about it, plan its future, and have even dreamed about it-literally. We work long hours on each issue poring over articles, searching for ideas, at times groaning for the lack of time in each day because there just do not seem to be enough hours. We are zealously affected!

As we all work for the Christian home schooling community, our sons are also planning their methods of home schooling, in the hope that one day, the Lord will bring to them each a mate and children. We discuss the pros of this method, the cons of another, the intricacies of yet another, all with an eye to them home schooling their children, our grandchildren. They talk about how we, as grandparents, will have a part in the home schooling experience that they will enjoy. They are looking forward, with zeal, to a bright future of home schooling their children.

We are zealously affected by a good thing! Are you?

Dads, do you embrace home schooling as your wife does? Do you encourage her, equip her, and love her in the job she is doing? Do you get excited with your children as they learn a new Bible verse, or a difficult math concept, or share with you something from their science lesson? Do you join in the teaching process? Do you zealously convey your gratitude to God for the home schooling opportunity?

Moms, I applaud you! Most zealously, I do so! Most moms out there are the backbone of the home school. They are teacher, encourager, disciplinarian, nurse, and chief cook and bottle washer. However, moms, do you do so with zeal? When that math lesson takes two hours, then the science lesson spills and ruins your tabletop, and the children still do not seem to grasp what a gerund is, do you still have zeal for home schooling? As the laundry piles up, and the dishes do the same, and the home school records are not yet done, and it's that time of night when all sane people are asleep, do you still have a zealous feel for home schooling? (Oh, what impudent questions I ask!)

Children, do you appreciate your parents for the bold stand they have taken? Do you appreciate with zeal the earnestness of your parents as they fulfill the call that God has placed on their lives, as parents? Do you appreciate the fact that they wish to keep you away from a public school system for your own good? Do you willingly apply yourself daily to your lessons, as unto the Lord?

What a glorious thing it is to be zealously affected always in a good thing!

Home schooling families, be strong. Be of a good courage. Continue to stand in the power of God's might, and in that power, be zealously affected for Him, for your family that He has given you, and for home schooling.

Remember, He is zealously affected for you, through His love for you. Now that is a reason to be zealously affected!

As a Christian parent, my highest goal for my children is that they grow up loving God. I long for them to love God so much that when they are tempted to do wrong, they stop because of their love of God. Actually that’s a goal I have for myself as well.

Is there a way we can deepen our love for God? Can we help our children love God more?

I John 4:19 gives us an idea of how we can nurture love for God in our own hearts and in the hearts of our children. It starts with understanding God’s love for us.

For many children and adults, it’s difficult to love someone or accept love from someone we can’t see with our eyes. Children especially, have a hard time understanding something as abstract as love. So, it’s important to make it personal — to understand that God knows you as an individual and loves you as you are.

Here are some ideas to nurture a child’s love for God. They might help you as well:

• Start at an early age telling your children that God loves them. Talk, sing and read to them of God’s love. (”Jesus loves me this I know.”)

• Begin to see with eyes of faith and thank God for answered prayers. Talk to your children about how God heard and answered their prayers.

• Read Scripture verses that tell about God’s passionate love for His creation. (Deuteronomy 7:6 “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the people on the face of the earth to be His people, His treasured creation.”)

• Substitute your child’s name in Scripture to personalize God’s message. When my youngest son was afraid at night, I wrote this on an index card. “Because Robbie loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him.” Psalm 91:14 Robbie trusts that God will do what He says.

• Make sure your child is around Christians who love him or her. Nothing will spoil a child’s love for God quicker than an unkind Christian adult. Unlike God, children do look on the outside and they learn about God from what they see. Protect your child from adults who do not model God’s unconditional love.

These suggestions are just ways to fertilize the soil of a child’s heart. God is ultimately the One who works in us to grow love. No amount of external controls will strengthen your child’s faith and love for God. It has to start with God, and it starts in your heart.

My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father, I praise you for your everlasting love for me. Help me to deepen my love for you and forgive me when I doubt your love. I ask for wisdom and guidance as I raise my child to love you. Thank you for your faithfulness. In Jesus name, Amen.

Application Steps:

Evaluate the depth of your love for God. Using the suggestions given above, and your own ideas, consider how you can develop your understanding of God’s love. Commit to focusing on your child’s heart and relationship with God.

Reflection points:

• How does God show His love for you?

• How do you demonstrate your love for God?

• How does understanding God’s love for you help you in your daily life?

• What can you do to help your child come to an understanding of God’s love for him or her?

Power Verses:

• Psalm 5:7 But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house, I will bow down toward your holy temple in awe of you. (NRS)

• Psalm 26:3 For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in faithfulness to you. (NRS)

• Matthew 22:37-40 He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

• Romans 5:8 But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.

• Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Sermon series: Family Improvement #1 Matthew 7:24-27

YOUR FAMILY'S FOUNDATION

========================

I. Hurricane Ivan's destruction.

II. What is the foundation of your family?

A. People get married for love.

B. People get married for success.

C. People get married because that's what you're supposed to do.

III. We need a more solid foundation for marriage.

A. We must live for something beyond ourselves.

B. Biblical principle: Jesus must be our foundation.

IV. What makes a Christian family?

A. More than being religious.

B. A desire to honor God.

C. Making spirituality a goal.

V. How to build a Christian family.

A. Pray that each member will acknowledge Christ as Savior.

B. Deal with sin.

C. Exhibit grace to each other.

D. Encourage each other in Christian virtues.

E. Serve God together.

VI. Firm families make a difference.

A. They are a shelter in the time of storm.

B. They provide a legacy that continues for generations.

C. They honor God and are blessed by him.

*

Divorce is on the decline in the USA, but a report to be released today suggests that may be due more to an increase in people living together than to more lasting marriages.

Couples who once might have wed and then divorced now are not marrying at all, according to The State of our Unions 2005. The annual report, which analyzes Census and other data, is issued by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey's Rutgers University.

The U.S. divorce rate is 17.7 per 1,000 married women, down from 22.6 in 1980. The marriage rate is also on a steady decline: a 50% drop since 1970 from 76.5 per 1,000 unmarried women to 39.9, says the report, whose calculations are based on an internationally used measurement.

“Cohabitation is here to stay,” says David Popenoe, a Rutgers sociology professor and report co-author. “I don't think it's good news, especially for children,” he says. “As society shifts from marriage to cohabitation - which is what's happening - you have an increase in family instability.”

Cohabiting couples have twice the breakup rate of married couples, the report's authors say. And in the USA, 40% bring kids into these often-shaky live-in relationships.

“It is important now to think beyond the divorce rate to other kinds of couple unions and look at how stable they are,” says Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, a social historian and report co-author.

“It's a pretty short period of time for that change (cohabitation) to have occurred and to have taken hold in the way it has,” she says.

In the USA, 8.1% of coupled households are made up of unmarried, heterosexual partners. Although many European countries have higher cohabitation rates, divorce rates in those countries are lower, and more children grow up with both biological parents, even though the parents may not be married, Popenoe says.

The USA has the lowest percentage among Western nations of children who grow up with both biological parents, 63%, the report says.

“The United States has the weakest families in the Western world because we have the highest divorce rate and the highest rate of solo parenting,” Popenoe says.

*

A little boy who was told by his mother that it was God who makes people good, replied, "Yes, I know it is God, but mothers help a lot."

It is a great compliment to a woman to have a great son. I remember an incident that took place at a certain village, which impressed this upon my mind as nothing else could. It was commencement. A young man was to graduate who stood at the head of his class, and received many honors. He was of humble parentage. It had cost quite a good deal of struggle and sacrifice on the part of his parents to keep him at school. When he delivered his graduating speech, his old mother, with her sunbonnet on, sat just in front of him. No sooner had he finished speaking, and received his medal, than he stepped down off the platform, went and placed his arms around his mother's neck, and pinned his medal on her dress.

Someone said to her, as they went out of the hall: "I know you are proud of your boy."

"Ah, yes," said the young man, "but not half so proud as he is of his mother!"

Charles Dickens once addressed a letter to his son Henry while he was at college, advising him to keep out of debt and confide all his perplexities to his father. The letter concluded as follows: "I most strongly and affectionately impress upon you the priceless value of the New Testament, and the study of that book as the one unfailing guide in life. Deeply respecting it, and bowing down before the character of our Savior, you cannot go very wrong, and will always preserve at heart a true spirit of veneration and humility. Similarly, I impress upon you the habit of saying a Christian prayer every night and morning. These things have stood by me all through my life, and remember that I tried to render the New Testament intelligible to you and lovable by you when a mere baby. And so God bless you!"

Dr. Lyman Abbott once said:

"Blessed is the man whose home is a real refuge! who, being tossed to and fro on the waves of a tumultuous and combative sea throughout the day, leaves his office, his business perplexities behind him, and when he opens the door and enters the house, enters the landlocked harbor. But the home ought not to be a refuge for the husband and the father only, but we who are husbands and fathers ought to make it a refuge for the wives and mothers as well. They have their cares also, and when we come to our homes we ought to come bringing with us such a spirit as shall exorcise these cares and make home their refuge."

Once we asked the kids to compile a list of the things we most often said to them. This is what they wrote:

I'm not talking just to hear my jaws flap.

You just ate.

It'll be good for you.

Sit back and buckle up.

Not another word.

I had to walk five miles to school and five miles home and it was uphill both ways.

Don't touch each other.

There are starving people in Africa.

Were you born in a barn?

Don't you look at me like that.

I'll give you something to cry about.

Ask your mother.

Ask your father.

That drives me nuts.

Do you want to live to see your next birthday?

If you pick at it-it won't heal.

Then there are the mixed messages like:

Shut your mouth and eat.

Hurry up and don't run.

Don't be smart.

Has formulating this list caused us to stop saying these things? Of course not. But at least laughing together about them makes it slightly less nausea-provoking to the kids when they're repeated for the eight-zillionth time.

There's no place in parenting for "jokes" that ridicule or put down children. But all kinds of room exists for humor that replaces sarcasm, or diffuses genuine fury. There are days with Heidi and Nathan, when, listening to songs about how sweet children are (even ours!), I wish the tape would self-destruct. On one really rough day I told the kids, "Here's a parenting song I'd like to write: 'I've got bald spots on my head, from tearin' my hair out over yew-w-w-w-w.'" Humor is the spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine of all our serious parenting efforts more palatable to children.

-Steve and Annie Chapman Gifts Your Kids Can't Break Bethany House, 1991

"Who are they?" I asked. "Who are the people who rate the shows? Do they share my values? Do they love my children as much as I do?"

My questions concerned the "V-chip," which President Clinton mandated a few months ago as a requirement for all new television sets. The chip is supposed to filter TV programs, based on ratings assigned by a board similar to the movie rating board.

About that same time, a reporter from the local NBC affiliate station interviewed me (an associate pastor) for a story she was preparing on the V-chip-thinking that I would be solidly in favor of it. After all, it is pro-family values, right? Yes, but whose values? I am the only one who can integrate the principles and values I hope for my children to live by with the disciplines that those principles require.

The idea of taking a stand is at the heart of the V-chip problem. I really can't think of a single reason why I would defer to someone else the responsibility to mold and monitor my children's TV viewing habits. Some argue that time is a relevant factor: "With such busy households, parents don't always have the time to watch with the children." This may be a prevalent scenario, but have we reached a reasonable conclusion? Is letting someone else parent my child's TV watching the right solution to my time management problem? I am personally convicted about this. I am not willing to throw my children the remote control and implicitly say, "What you do with your time is not as important as what I do with my time."

Imagine what the world-your children's world-will be like if you stand for yours!

-Clark H. Smith

We be brethren. — Genesis 13:8.

Do good unto all men, especially unto them, who are of the household of faith. — Galatians 6:10.

Converts to Christ are members of God’s family, born again into it. In the clearest sense we are brothers and sisters in Christ. This brings the blessing of the knowledge of world-wide relationship. Like every blessing there is the corresponding responsibility to treat fellow Christians as family members. Let us consider this in all our actions and associations with the people of God. — C. F. Bundy.

I met a slender, little maid,

a rosy burden bearing;

“Is it not heavy, dear?” I said,

as past me she was hurrying.

She looked at me with grave, sweet eyes,

this fragile, little mother;

She answered as in swift surprise,

“Oh, no, sir; it’s my brother.”

Sermon in Family Concerns series, #1. Psalm 68:3-6

ALL IN THE FAMILY

=================

I. There's nothing like togetherness.

A. I just spent 4 weeks crammed into an RV with my in-laws.

B. Even nature appreciates the benefits of family.

II. Families were invented by God.

A. Left by themselves, people get lonely.

B. A basic purpose of families should be companionship.

III. Many families don't experience this closeness.

A. Little communication.

B. Ill-feelings toward one another, even hostility.

C. Even Bible families experienced these issues.

D. Dysfunction hits everyone.

IV. Your family can be more!

A. Be more than just stuck with each other.

B. Keep a positive perspective.

V. Our families reflect our faith.

”But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” — 1 Timothy 5:8

When love is used as a verb in the Bible, it requires the lover to meet the needs of the one being loved. Love must be given away. God so loved the world that He gave — (John 3:16).

The essence of love is meeting needs, and our most important assignment from God is to meet the needs of those who are closest to us (1 Timothy 5:8). We tend to use the people closest to us instead of meeting their needs. So the busy homemaker is out resolving everybody else’s child-rearing problems but her own. Some pastors are available to everyone but his wife and children. And the executive will work overtime to solve company problems while ignoring needs at home.

Take an inventory of your family’s needs. I’m not talking about the external needs like clothing, education and food. I’m talking about gut-level needs that determine their sense of worth and belonging. When was the last time you hugged your child and told him you loved him? Have you noticed good character qualities in your spouse and pointed them out? If all you ever point out is physical qualities or achievements, your family members will base their worth on how well they perform and look instead of developing character. Do you regularly reinforce good behavior, or do you only notice the poor behavior? When your child does something nice, do you thank him? Does your child know that he is loved and valued from the way you talk to him?

Love can’t be separated from action. Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15). If you love your family members, follow through with loving words and deeds.

When Americans count their blessings at Thanksgiving, God will get most of the credit, a new study shows. And money might be the last thing on their minds.

Nearly two-thirds of Americans (63 percent) say they give thanks to God on that day, according to LifeWay Research. Fifty-seven percent give thanks to their family. About a third (31 percent) thank friends. Eight percent thank themselves, while 4 percent thank fate.

Most Americans are thankful for family (88 percent), health (77 percent), personal freedom (72 percent) and friends (71 percent). Fewer give thanks for wealth (32 percent) or achievements (51 percent), the study shows.

“The blessings that matter most are the ones money can’t buy,” said Scott McConnell, executive director of LifeWay Research.

In a representative online survey of 1,000 Americans, researchers gave respondents 10 options to be thankful for -- from family and health to achievements and wealth.

Their responses were shaped in part by demographics.

Those 65 and older are more thankful for family (92 percent) and health (86 percent) than fun experiences (48 percent). Those under 25 are thankful for fun experiences (70 percent) and their achievements (61 percent) but still cherish family (77 percent).

Americans with bachelor’s degrees (45 percent), graduate degrees (46 percent) or evangelical beliefs (41 percent) are more thankful for wealth. Those who didn’t go to college (23 percent) or who don’t have evangelical beliefs (31 percent) are less thankful for wealth.

Women are most likely to give thanks for family (91 percent), health (83 percent) and friends (75 percent). Men are slightly less likely to give thanks for family (84 percent), health (71 percent) and friends (67 percent).

Overall, giving thanks seems alive and well in America, despite the stresses of the recent election season. Only 2 percent say they are thankful for none of the 10 options provided.

“Many Americans have felt discouraged about events of the past year,” McConnell said. “But they still find a lot to be thankful for.”

When asked to rate what they are most thankful for, family wins in a landslide. Six in 10 Americans (61 percent) say they are most thankful for family. Thirteen percent say health, while 9 percent say personal freedom.

Few choose safety and security (3 percent), memories (3 percent), friends (2 percent), opportunities (2 percent), achievements (2 percent), fun experiences (1 percent) or wealth (1 percent) as what they are most thankful for.

Past Thanksgivings

Americans have celebrated days of thanksgiving in the fall since 1621, when the Pilgrims at Plymouth Plantation held a feast at the end of their first harvest. In 1789, President George Washington set aside Nov. 26 of that year as a thanksgiving day in honor of “that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be.”

States celebrated Thanksgiving Day on different dates until 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln set aside the fourth Thursday of November as an official federal holiday. Lincoln credited God for the nation’s blessings: “They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.”

Still, Thanksgiving isn’t for everyone. Seven percent of Americans say they don’t give thanks on Thanksgiving Day. Another 4 percent say they don’t thank God, family or any of the other survey options.

Americans living in the South (72 percent), African-Americans (83 percent), those attending religious services at least once a month (84 percent) and Christians (80 percent) are among those most likely to thank God. Protestants (90 percent) are more likely to thank God than Catholics (67 percent). Those with evangelical beliefs are most likely to thank God (94 percent). One in 4 nones -- those with no religious affiliation -- also say they thank God.

Catholics (65 percent) are more likely to thank their family than Protestants (49 percent).

Those with evangelical beliefs are half as likely to thank family (32 percent) as those without evangelical beliefs (62 percent).

Those in the Northeast are more likely to thank themselves (14 percent) than Midwesterners (7 percent) and Southerners (6 percent). Men (9 percent) are more likely to not give thanks than women (5 percent). Those younger than 25 (14 percent) are also more likely to skip giving thanks than those 65 and older (5 percent).

________

Bob Smietana is senior writer for Facts & Trends magazine.

The term “Black Sheep of the Family” comes from the culling of lambs with darker, undesirable coat colors: gray, brown, and particularly black. Non-white wool has traditionally been viewed as less commercially valuable because it cannot be dyed.

White fleece in sheep is the expression of a dominant gene, rather than albinism. Thus, in most breeds of sheep, black lambs are rare; they require that both parents carry the recessive gene for black coats. Dark wool is so undesirable that scientists are working to develop a genetic test to identify carriers of the gene for black coats.

Famous Black Sheep of the Family

Rare is the family that does not have a Black Sheep. From pop stars to Presidents to television preachers, even the famous must contend with a wayward lamb in the mix.

Here are few examples to remind us that no family is perfect -- no matter how famous or rich:

♦ Alice Roosevelt - Alice was the eccentric oldest child of U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt. She smoked, partied until late at night, and kept a pet snake. (Go, Alice!) Once married, she had numerous affairs and a love child with a senator. Her exasperated father once remarked, “I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.”

♦ Al Gore III - The son of U.S. Vice President Al Gore underwent drug treatment in 2007 after he was pulled over in his Toyota Prius going 100 mph. The young man pled guilty to possession of marijuana and a variety of medications for which he did not have a prescription: Xanax, Valium, Vicodin, and Adderall.

♦ Billy Carter - The younger brother of U.S. President Jimmy Carter was known as a “country philosopher” who loved the spotlight. His outlandish public behavior embarrassed the White House. Billy once urinated on an airport runway in full view of the press corp and dignitaries. He also attempted to take advantage of his brush with fame, endorsing a beer called “Billy Beer” and appearing on late night talk shows. The President publicly distanced himself from his brother after Billy made Anti-Semitic comments and accepted an ethically questionable $220,000 “loan” from Libya to facilitate oil sales.

♦ Alison Carey - Alison, the older sister of pop diva Mariah Carey, is a recovering drug addict and former prostitute who contracted HIV in the mix. She once threatened publicly to write a tell-all book about her famous sister and remains estranged from the superstar.

♦ Vince Capone - How can you embarrass a crime family? Apparently, by playing it super straight. The oldest brother of Mafia godfather Al Capone tried hard to disown his Italian crime family identity. Vince moved to Nebraska, changed his name, and lost the Brooklyn accent. During the era of Prohibition that made Al Capone notorious and wealthy, Vince served as a successful federal Prohibition agent, working to shut down illegal distilleries. His service on the right side of the law humiliated his mobster brother.

♦ Noelle Bush - The niece of U.S. President George W. Bush (and daughter of former Governor Jeb Bush) was jailed for prescription fraud after she attempted to illegally acquire Xanax. Noelle was ordered by the court to undergo drug rehabilitation, but she violated the terms of the court order when crack cocaine was found in her shoe during drug treatment.

♦ Randy Potts - The grandson of evangelical preacher Oral Roberts is openly homosexual and seeks to change his family’s views on homosexuality. When Randy came out as homosexual, his parents changed the locks. He was also denied admittance to his grandmother’s graveside funeral service. Oral Roberts’ eldest son, Ronnie, was also homosexual but committed suicide in 1982.