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93 Sermon Illustrations on Romance

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Romance in Christian preaching explores the God-ordained affection and deep connection between spouses, emphasizing love as a covenant rather than mere emotion or cultural idealization (Ephesians 5:25). Illustrations often use imagery of courtship, commitment, and enduring love to encourage purity, intentionality, and faithfulness in relationships.

Ten Worst Pickup Lines

University of Alaska psychologist, Dr. Chris Kleinke, says best opening line is "Hi!" Poll of 650 men and 831 women rated 200 opening lines. Other good ones: "I feel a little embarrassed about this, but I'd like to meet you" and "I don't have anybody to introduce me, but I'd really like to get to know you." Some of the best are the simplest: "That's a very pretty [...]" and "You have really nice hair." Ten worst:

Men: "Is that really your hair?"

"You remind me of a woman I used to date."

"Your place or mine?"

"I'm easy, are you?"

"Isn't it cold, let's make some body heat."

Women: "Didn't we meet in a previous life?"

"It's been a long time since I've had a boyfriend."

"Hey, baby, you've got a gorgeous chassis. Mind if

I look under the hood?"

"I'm easy, are you?"

"What's your sign?"

Truly pathetic: "What time is it?" Kleinke sees three types: cute-flippant, innocuous and direct. Men like direct approach ("You seem different from everyone here.") Women prefer innocuous or mildly direct opener ("This is awkward, but I'd like to meet you.") Neither liked cute-flippant, women more than men, but some men prefer it because it affords a way to deal with rejection. They can pretend they're just fooling around.

from Coshocton Tribune Newspaper · Associated Press via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database speechromanceconversation

What Hollywood Doesn't Know About Romantic Love

Christians downplay romantic love, but it is important in life. The Bible not only speaks of ardent love between men and women, but presents God himself as a lover and his courting of creation as the Great Romance. However, romantic love can be immature or sick, it does not last forever, it does not have to be limited to particular people, it is not sufficient by itself (we need God for fulfillment.)

In heaven, love will surpass any relationship we have now. The value of the Song of Solomon is emphasized.

[see #18795 for full text]

Desperate For A Date

Our culture confuses love with romance (or even more basic drives).

1) Movies and songs glorify romantic love.

2) On way to mission conference, two of the most spiritual women

in our church (who shall remain unnamed) admitted they watch

soap operas.

I doubt a single episode of any of them forgets to put in a

steamy romantic love scene.

3) Personal experiences.

Autumn, 1978.

Crowded lunchroom at my seminary.

I didn't realize a Sunday School convention was being held.

I wasn't even supposed to be in line.

I sat down at the only empty space at a table.

One young lady sat across from me.

She had on a Jolly Green Giant green dress and green leotards.

Not love at first sight, but I was desperate for a date.

I forgot her name, so had to pull some strings down at the

registration office.

I called up Celeste Triehy (with my light conversation written

down word-for-word on paper) and set up a time to visit her.

When I arrived, she had forgotten who I was.

God works in mysterious ways!

from Personal Experience Of Rev. David Holwick via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database lovelustgod s will

What Love Is All About

Sermon in 1 Corinthians series. Chapter 13

1. Love vs. romance.

2. The Bible's definition of love.

3. The passage's points on love:

a. Necessary.

b. Characteristics.

c. Permanence.

1> Seeing through a glass darkly.

4. Greatest love.

Dear God, What Religion Were the Dinosaurs?

Letter from a young person to God:

Dear God,

I am a boy. You need to know that to help. My girlfriend Fran is one year

older than me. Do you think that's okay? Her mom does not know about us.

Thank you,

Bryan, age 8

#2144

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"Cherishing Your Spouse"

Matthew 1

Sermon in Family Series. Third Sunday in Advent

======================

CHERISHING YOUR SPOUSE

======================

I. Feeling sorry for Joseph. Matthew 1:19f

II. Commitment to marriage is a risky step.

III. The Leaving Principle. Genesis 2:24

A. We must distance ourselves from our parents.

B. Distance may not be literal but figurative or emotional.

C. Removing barriers. Eph 4:31-32

IV. The Cleaving Principle.

A. Marriages cannot be formed in a vacuum.

B. Becoming close.

1) Positive thoughts about spouse. Phil 4:8

2) Supportive loyalty. 1 Cor 13:7

3) Mutual trust. Prov 31:10-12

4) Emotional refuge. Eccl 4:9-12

C. Sharing.

D. Romance. Song of Solomon

V. Becoming one.

A. "Oneness" is Bible's way of describing intimacy.

B. Myths of Intimacy.

C. It is a fallacy to think intimate relationships take no effort.

VI. Marriage and Jesus. Eph 5:29-32

from Condensed sermon outline (handout) by Rev. David Holwick · Serm92zq.pco via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romance

The Unexpected Answer

Bartocci was looking for a birthday card for her husband and found one that said:

“Sweetheart, you’re the answer to my prayers.”

(inside)

“You’re not what I prayed for exactly,

but apparently you’re the answer.”

Often we don’t get exactly what we pray for, but we need to trust that what we receive is the answer. When her father became gravely ill, she and her mother prayed for three weeks that he would live. One morning she quietly prayed in the hospital chapel, “Dear God, I know what I would like. But that may not be the best answer for Daddy. You love him too. So now I release him into your hands. Not my will, but thy will be done.” She felt as if a burden had lifted from her shoulders. Whatever God’s answer, she knew it would be the right one for her father. Two weeks later he died. When her children cried and asked her, “Why did Granddaddy die?” she softly replied, “Apparently, it was the answer.”

from Readers Digest · Barbara Bartocci via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database god s willromance

On Marriage

"A good marriage is the union of two forgivers."

Ruth Bell Graham

Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECES

______________________________

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

Mignon McLaughlin

Cited in BITS & PIECES

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from Internet: Bits & Pieces · Ruth Bell Graham / Mignon McLaughlin via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database loveromance

Love Revisited

John 13:1

LOVE REVISITED — by Glenda Lynne

The search for love is unending. Yet few can follow its path, for the path of true Love is as difficult as it is rewarding, and most of us fall along the wayside somewhere. Even at the beginning of a relationship, when we experience the nirvana of discovery, we simultaneously feel the pang of losing it. This duality feeds fear and blocks the way of true Love. Yet, we cannot deny the duality, or we will not love with all our hearts.

To truly experience Love, we must first be willing to look fearlessly into our own hearts and minds. For Love will open us up as nothing else in life can do, and any part of ourselves that we have been hiding will suddenly come skidding into the open to taunt and intimidate us. The moment Love walks in, the shadow part of our self begins to grow. That is because the most exquisite purpose of Love is to force and nurture the growth we have been avoiding. Love pulls out all the stops and slams us into the reality of ourselves.

This is all a part of divine purpose. God intends us to become a part of one heart, a part of the whole. Yet God also intends us to remain totally true to ourselves and to the integrity of our own individuality. It is another one of the dualities that throws many of us off of Love’s path. If we would love, we must be willing to be true to ourselves while being a part of the whole. Love, then, is a microcosm of Life.

In my search for love, I have discovered many things that Love is NOT. Usually, it was a painful process, but as I have grown, it has become a more joyous course. Life is all about learning, and when you learn to love the learning, all of Life becomes joyous. By arduously weeding out the NOT-love, I have come to know much more about what true Love IS. Of course, I am still learning, but here is some of what I’ve discovered.

1. Love is NOT a promise of peace and pleasure everlasting. We do NOT find our soul mates and live happily ever after. That is the biggest fairy tale of all. If we enter into love expecting to find nothing but happiness and peace for the rest of our lives, we are actually entering into a devious place… a place where the beloved exists only to reinforce our present best image of ourselves. The true beloved will do that but will also gently help us to pry free from images that no longer have a relevant purpose in our lives.

2. Love is NOT sexual lust and passion. Sexual lust and passion are a part of love, but they can also be experienced apart from Love. And Love can be experienced in its deepest forms without sexual lust and passion. Sexual lust and passion exist to open us up to the true lust and passion of LIVING. Sexuality and lust and passion activate our vulnerability, and vulnerability is a precursor to growth. If we are to grow, we must be vulnerable.

3. Love is NOT static. Love has seasons and moods and changes. It is the never-ending catalyst to growth. It catapults us into a lifelong series of chrysalis and butterfly. Love is constant rebirth. The only thing we can depend upon in this life is change.

4. Love is NOT possession. We draw close, then apart, then close again, then apart. We exult in one another, then withdraw into our caves. We glory in our togetherness, then go our separate ways. Ceaseless change brings new perspective, new birth, and a constant renewal of ourselves. And sometimes it leaves us alone on our path, grieving and full of self absorption, because the beloved one chooses to move onto a path without us. Deep Love allows the separation of individual purpose and goals.

5. Love is NOT a right. It is a responsibility. We are not born with the innate right to be loved by others. Love is something we earn. It is always here for us to experience, but it will not force itself upon us. We must be willing to walk to the door and open it. Then we must be willing to invite Love in and encourage it to stay.

6. Love is NOT dependent upon one particular person. There is no one soul mate, though we may know only one of them in a particular lifetime. If one soul mate leaves, another will come, when the heart is open and ready to grow again. Being “abandoned” by a lover means only that we are ready for a new experience of Love. We do NOT die of a broken heart. If a loved one departs, and we feel like dying, we are dying of a CLOSED heart. The heart and mind may stubbornly refusing to open to Life’s new possibilities, thus we close off all nurture, and that is a choice to begin to die. It is pure stubbornness, pride, and fear that makes us feel like dying. Why would Life, in all its glory, suddenly abandon us? Love and life do not leave us. People do. That is the nature of this mortal life.

7. Love is NOT desire. Love is sufficient unto itself. It simply IS. It is what it is. If we want to experience true Love, we must let our desire be to flow like a river, to feel the pain of understanding, and to allow the course to take us where it must. We must bless God for each moment of loving and recognize that when we love, we are in the heart of God, and that is a place our minds are too finite to comprehend.

8. Love is NOT a goal. It is a process. It is a part of living, but it is NOT the goal of living. Living is the goal of living. Life is what matters. If we would love, we must first know how to live. For living each moment to its fullest potential IS Love, and that is the goal of Life. As Love is sufficient unto Love, so is Life sufficient unto Life.

9. Love is NOT destructive. Though Love reveals our hidden shadow selves, it does so to illuminate them. Shadows can dance and play with our enlightenment, giving depth and true character to the inner and outer spirit. If the shadows appear to overtake and bury us, then we are no longer experiencing Love. We are experiencing obsession.

10. Love is NOT obsession. When we love with our deepest selves, we never lose our own way. If the beloved’s path and goals become more important than our own, that is not the intention of Love. That is obsession. True love asks only that we ALLOW the beloved to be loved (beloved). When we obsess, we actually shut the process of loving down.

11. Love is NOT completion. We are not here to complete the work. We are here to continue it. The same is true of Love. It does not complete our lives. It continues our lives. Love, as Life, is constantly growing and changing. It is an entity unto itself, and each time we Love, we perpetuate its vision for the Love of God.

12. Love is NOT found outside of ourselves. It comes from within. When we open our deepest self, Love pours out and floods the world around us. Then that very Love we “give away” becomes the seed that blossoms into the Love we “receive”. Love only APPEARS to be coming from outside sources. In actuality, it comes from our own spirit. What we feel is our own Love expressing itself. All of Life is but a perception of who we are.

13. Love is NOT just for lovers. Love is sharing, learning, growing. It is the ultimate Leap of Faith, the willingness to hold a vision for compassion and solicitude for ourselves and our lives, even when all the rest of the outside world would seem to deny it. When we can Love each aspect of ourselves and our lives with the peace that comes from supreme inner knowing, then Love enjoys its finest hour. The lover appears only to share and broaden this hour. Ultimately, it is the Love we feel for ourselves and our own lives that is the truest expression of God’s plan.

14. Love is NOT finite or mortal. It is infinite, immortal, and undying. Love that dies was never Love at all. When we feel true Love, we know that it is never-ending and always available. Anything that is called Love that dies or goes away, is not Love. It is emotion.

15. Love is NOT emotion. Emotions come and emotions go. Emotions are but the ripples upon the surface of our lives. They appear and disappear without touching the depth of our real selves. Love is locked into the essence of ourselves. It is integrity of spirit and purity of intent. It is the truest expression of our God selves, and it is everlasting. If you would experience Love, allow it to flow from the depths of your soul and feel its presence all around you. Lovers leave, but Love does not. Feelings change, but Love remains.

16. Love is NOT controlling. Love is experiential in nature, and control seeks to define and structure experience. Yet Love will not be controlled, nor will it seek to control. The nature of Love is to embrace and allow. It cannot be guided, nor will it be defined. For each of us is an individual expression of God’s infinite wisdom and variety, and each of us experiences Love alone and in our own way. Love is ours to give, but we cannot control its path.

17. Love is NOT something we can share. The final irony of Love’s great gift is that it is experienced ALONE. Sharing Love is an illusion. Love flows, and the instant it moves, it changes. Each thing it touches changes its nature. Each receptor continues its path in a very unique way. Since we can only experience that which we know, we cannot share our love. We can only allow it to flow. When we speak of sharing Love, we are speaking of sharing this unique perception of Love’s flow. Love is an expression, an outpouring of the essence of our God selves, and it is beyond sharing. It is what it is.

Lovers of Life, seek love within. Then open your spirits with no regrets, and allow your Love to pour forth in abundance upon all it may touch. Seek not to direct its path nor follow its course. Seek only to continue its possibilities.

#4700

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RM-Bible (4/27/99)

MY WIFE

A sigh in the night . . . a smile across a room of strangers . . . a tug at

a sleeve in the middle of a sad movie . . .

THIS IS MY WIFE.

She is a pair of waiting arms for a weary warrior. She repairs frayed

banners torn on daily battle fields . . . she cushions defeats . . . and

makes victories worthwhile . . .

THIS IS MY WIFE.

Her smile can lighten a heavy heart! She can hold a hand and lend an ear .

. . she can blow a kiss . . . and ease a care . . .

She can warm a cold room just by walking through the door . . .

A wife is a secret-sharer . . . she has a private smile that belongs to just

a husband when they both recall a fond and secret memory . . .

A wife is an unpredictable creator. She can remember a word spoken in love

twenty years ago . . . but can t remember to pick up the cleaning.

She s magic with a dish towel in her hands . . . romance running a vacuum

cleaner . . . charm with a smudge of flour on her nose.

A pair of blue-green eyes with faith shining out . . . a head of soft hair

that bounces when she runs . . . a sad pout when things go wrong.

THIS IS MY WIFE

A sweetheart through all the years of man s life . . . a help meet when the

load grows heavy . . . a friend when all other friends have turned their

heads away.

THIS IS MY WIFE

Wives look beautiful in the strangest places . . . like standing in a

doorway or reaching high to take a dish off the shelf . . . or straightening

pillows on the sofa or tucking a child into bed . . . or standing in the

rain waiting for a husband to open the car door.

When a man runs out of heart . . . a wife gives him part of hers . . . she

rekindles the spark of dreams. She can make a husband young again with just

a twinkle in her eye . . .

She s charm, love, enchantment, hope, pride, dreams, pleasure, laughter,

delight, magic, gaiety and Christian womanhood . . . all wrapped into the

most beautiful woman in the world . . .

SHE'S MY WIFE. I LOVE HER.

from Source not recorded · Richard Rogers via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database loveromance

The Right One

My grandma and grandpa celebrated their 55th anniversary surrounded by their children, grandchildren, and a lifetime collection of friends. I thought that Grandma had forgotten anything she may have known about being single. I was wrong.

As she was getting ready for the party, arranging her long white hair in a French twist, my grandma commented, "I'm always surprised when I look in the mirror and see all these wrinkles." Holding her hand over her heart, she added, "In here, I'm still a young woman." She applied bright red lipstick.

I sat on the bed watching her primp. "So, what is the secret of a long happy marriage?"

She sprayed floral cologne on her wrists. "Don't settle."

I must have looked puzzled.

"Don't settle. That is all you need to know." She tucked a stray wisp of hair in place.

I twisted my own hair around my fingers hoping to coax it into curl. Turning the page of Grandma's photo album, I saw an out-of-focus photo of nondescript steps.

"Where's this?"

"That is where your grandpa proposed to me; we had known each other six weeks. When he first saw me, he told his cousin that he had seen the girl he was going to marry. That was before we had even spoken one word to each other."

"Six weeks?" My images of Edwardian modesty shattered. My grandma was born in 1890. Opposite the picture of the steps was a sepia studio portrait of a ringleted young woman with limpid eyes. That was Grandma, in the high-collared lace blouse, her mouth primly shut, her huge eyes staring off into the unknown future. "I thought people used to have a long courtship."

"I had a long courtship, it just wasn't with your grandfather." She giggled. Grandma's eyes had not changed since that young girl held her rigid pose for the photographer.

My grandma was one of 13 children. Her parents had a large house which Grandma described as a mansion. They were an unusual family for the turn-of-the century. One of Grandma's sisters was a bookkeeper. Her sister Ceil was an attorney; a plaque on a building in McKeesport, Pennsylvania marks the site of her office.

Grandma always wanted to be a wife and mother. She was 25 when she married my grandfather.

"Grandma, I always thought things were different back then. I thought maybe Grandpa came over and sat around the den or parlor or whatever for years before he proposed."

Grandma smiled and moved closer, just like one of my friends settling in for a good gossip. "I kept company with another man for six years. He kept pushing me to marry him. I kept saying 'I don't want to leave my mother,' or 'I'm not ready.' I said this, I said that. The truth was, there was no spark, he was nice but he just wasn't the one."

I leaned forward. The years had fallen off Grandma's voice. Her speech sounded young, expectant.

"Everyone kept saying, 'Annie, so when are we dancing at your wedding?' People talked-people have always liked to talk-there was talk I'd end up an old maid. We took that kind of thing seriously. I didn't say anything. I kept going out with him, but something stopped me from getting engaged. He wasn't the one. My mother was worried about me. I wasn't worried. I knew that there was someone, somewhere. I wasn't ready to settle."

She looked at our faces in the ornately framed mirror. In my face she saw the young woman she had been, in her face I saw my future. She squeezed my hand.

"So, then I met your grandfather. He saw me out walking with my friends and found-who knows how-that he knew my cousin. In a few days, he managed to come calling with my cousin. I never saw the other man again."

"Six weeks later your grandpa proposed." She started laughing until tears gathered in her eyes, tiny droplets glinting like the diamond stud earrings in her ears." He said he needed a wife to manage his money. He didn't have two dimes to rub together."

"Did you know that before you married him?" I asked, thinking of the tales I had heard about her well-off parents.

"Of course I knew that. I also knew he was the one I had waited for," she said. She looked at our faces in the ornately framed mirror. In my face she saw the young woman she had been; in her face I saw my future. I kissed Grandma's cheek, knowing I would never settle. I would wait for the right one, and now I was certain I would know him when I saw him.

__________________________

Diane Goldberg from Chicken Soup for the Single's Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Jennifer Read Hawthorne and Marci Shimoff, copyright 1999 Canfield and Hansen

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from Internet: Chicken Soup Of The Day · Diane Goldberg via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database

How Do I Love Thee?: Let Me Count the Way$$$

Romance and courtship have changed a lot in recent years, and not necessarily for the better. For those who think flowers, chocolates, or love poetry are still the medium of choice, consider a couple of recent personal ads from the "Washingtonian" magazine:

One wealthy Romeo says he's looking for a "drop dead gorgeous, sensitive, passionate" woman to share his Caribbean holiday.

Another, who describes himself as a "financially secure" executive, wants you to call if you're a "strikingly beautiful woman" who enjoys "fast boats and overseas travel."

By offering financial incentives in exchange for female companionship, it would seem that a lot of men these days view romance through a crass economic lens. It's one more example of how romance and courtship have been corrupted in our time.

How in the world did this happen?

As my colleague Anne Morse recently wrote in "Boundless" internet magazine, Historian Beth Bailey just might have the answer. Bailey observes that until the start of the twentieth century, dating as we know it did not exist. If a boy wanted to get to know a girl, he had to wait until she invited him to her home.

But between 1890 and 1925, young women began moving from the farms to the cities. Jammed together in crowded rooms, they no longer had parlors into which to invite gentlemen callers. As a result, Bailey writes, "A 'good time' ... became identified with public places and commercial amusements."

The move from private parlors to public dance halls, she says, "fundamentally altered the balance of power between men and women." Men no longer had to wait for women to invite them to their homes. Instead, women now waited for men to invite them on dates.

Little by little, Bailey writes, dating "moved courtship into the world of the economy. Men's money was at the center of the dating system." This led to a view of "dating as a system of exchange best understood ... as an economic system." In a sense, the author says, a woman was "selling her company to [a man]."

The implications of this arrangement have recently become chillingly apparent. A survey of boys found that more than half thought that if a man spends "a lot of money" on his date, it's okay to demand that she have sex with him. And other research finds that many young women agree.

What a departure this is from the traditional understanding of courtship and marriage.

You see, the biblical view of courtship and marriage teaches that couples are to put aside their own selfish desires and focus on the interests of the loved one. But the cold, hard world of economics teaches the opposite message: that we're entitled to a "return on investment."

When it comes to romance, today's young women might consider taking a leaf out of their great-grandmothers' etiquette books. For example, instead of letting a man pay for an expensive dinner, suggest options that cost little or nothing: Take in a free concert, lecture, or ballgame, or attend church activities together. Tell your date you're insisting on this, not because you're a control-driven feminist, but because you are a true traditionalist.

And remember, the economic game works both ways. All those rich Romeos trying to buy women's company through vulgar classified ads may find the drop dead gorgeous, sensitive, passionate woman they're looking for -- only to find that she's a gold digger who takes them for everything they've got.

___________________

Copyright (c) 2000 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

from BreakPoint Commentary · Charles Colson via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database sexpurity

Quotes On Love

John 13:1

"I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least."

-- Dorothy Day, Catholic social activist

"We do not fall in love, we grow in love and love grows in us."

-- Karl Menninger (The Best of BITS & PIECES)

"One can give without loving, but one cannot love without giving."

-- Amy Carmichael

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."

-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944), Writer

"Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

-- Franklin P. Jones, humorist, Bits & Pieces 07/08/02

"Love that ends is the shadow of love; true love is without beginning or end."

-- Hazrat Inayat Khan (1882-1927), religious leader, Bits & Pieces 07/08/02

"Man's love is of man's life a thing apart; 'tis woman's whole existence."

-- Lord Byron

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

-- The Dalai Lama, B&P 8/14/02

"To be loved, be lovable."

-- Ovid (c. 43 B.C.-A.D. 18), Poet, B&P 8/14/02

"I used to always feel the important thing is that people respect me, not love me -- but it is really much nicer when they love you, too."

-- Rudolph W. Giuliani, former Mayor of New York

"Love is not blind. Love is the only thing that sees."

-- Frank Crane

"By loving the unlovable, You made me lovable."

-- Augustine to God

"What, positively, is the will of God? The demand for love. "You shall love your neighbor as yourself!" as the second greatest commandment belongs together with the first: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" (Mk. 12:28-34) There is no obedience to God which does not have to prove itself in the concrete situation of meeting one's neighbor, as in Luke (10:29-37). The demand for love surpasses every legal demand; it knows no boundary of limit; it holds even in regard to one's enemy (Mt. 5:43-48).

-- Rudolf Bultmann, Theology of the New Testament, p. 18.

"In order that we may know how to love ourselves, an end has been established for us to which we are to refer all our action, so that we may attain to bliss. For if we love ourselves, our one wish is to achieve blessedness. Now this end is to cling to God. Thus, if we know how to love ourselves, the commandant to love our neighbor bids us to do all we can to bring our neighbor to love God. This is the worship of God; this is true religion; this is the right kind of devotion; this is the service which is owed to God alone."

-- Augustine, "City of God"

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."

-- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), physicist and philosopher (B&P)

"Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb."

-- Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

"When you like someone, you like them in spite of their faults. When you love someone, you love them with their faults."

-- Elizabeth Cameron, B&P 5/12/03

"Love without reverence is a destructive fever; reverence without love is a perpetual frost. True love kneels in reverence; true reverence yearns in love. Each, I say, is essential to the other, and both are needful in the creation of a worthy life. Calvary is the academy in which we may learn reverence and love."

-- Rev. John Henry Jowett (1864-1923), pastor of Fifth Avenue Presbyterian

Church of New York City

“What is the highest, most exalted act of intelligent life? It is to love. Love seeks no cause, no end, no reward beyond itself. ‘I love because I love; I love that I may love.’”

-- St. Bernard of Clairvaux, Blair's Illustrations 1/30/04

"Love is a better master than duty."

-- Albert Einstein, QFTM 3/6/04

“In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.”

-- Janos Arany

“For aught that I could ever read,

Could ever hear by tale or history,

The course of true love never did run smooth.”

-- William Shakespeare, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”

“We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.”

-- Benjamin Disraeli, “Sibyl”

“They do not love that do not show their love.”

-- John Heywood, “Proverbs”

“Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.”

-- William Shakespeare, “Twelfth Night”

“Love reckons hours for months, and days for years;

And every little absence is an age.”

-- John Dryden, Amphitryon

“The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose.”

-- Kahlil Gibran

from Internet: Bits & Pieces, Etc. · (various) via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romancegod s love

Principled Romance: Wooing That Special Someone

Ruth 3:1

In his book, I KISSED DATING GOODBYE, Joshua Harris describes why as a teen he gave up dating: It was because he believed that dating relationships are inherently unhealthy.

Well, you may ask, "How else do I go about meeting and marrying the person of my dreams?"

Harris, now happily married, suggests a series of steps that people can take to explore whether a friendship with someone of the opposite sex should lead to courtship and perhaps marriage.

When we meet someone special, he says, we should first seek a deeper friendship. Although romance may seem more exciting, "it can also foster illusion and infatuation, obscuring the true character of each person."

Instead of dropping regular routines in order to spend time together, the couple should "find activities that pull [them] both into each other's world of family, friends, work, ... and ministry." During this period of deepening friendship, flirting and "love talk" should be avoided.

Both parties should then consult parents and trusted advisors about the advisability of moving beyond friendship. These mentors can help ask the hard questions, like: "Am I mature enough to marry?" "Am I able to support a wife?" Or, "Am I attracted to his looks or to his character?"

As you consider your choice for a life partner, four "green lights" can help identify whether to stop the relationship or keep on going. First: Is this person a Christian? Second: Do you have a realistic vision of what life-long marriage is all about? Third: Does your romance meet with the approval of parents and godly friends?

If you think you're ready for marriage, but no one else does, that's a red light, and you may need to reconsider. And fourth: Do you have a sense of God's peace about your plans? Or do you feel apprehensive?

If all the lights are green, Harris writes, the man should tell the woman, "We're growing closer in friendship ... and with your permission, I want to explore the possibility of marriage. I'm ready to be tested by you [and] your family. My desire is to win your heart."

When a couple agrees to move forward, they enter into a time the author calls "principled romance," the testing and heart-winning stage of courtship. They ought to look for activities that allow them to spend time together among family and friends. They may also spend some limited time alone together in appropriate settings.

After that, it's time to fish or cut bait: To get engaged, or perhaps break off the relationship.

The proposals in this book may sound Victorian, but they indeed offer a refreshing contrast to today's secular approach to dating and marriage.

While Joshua Harris is still very young -- in his early twenties -- he has achieved some remarkable insights into love and courtship. And this book helps us understand why the Song of Solomon warns us "not to awaken love until it is ready." Love too soon may bring grief instead of the joy God intends.

___________________

Copyright (c) 2000 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

from BreakPoint Commentary · Chuck Colson via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database friendship

Ali MacGraw & Steve McQueen

Ali McGraw in her autobiography Moving Pictures, recounts her sad personal love stories. Of her affair with Steve McQueen, she recalls that five years with him brought her career to a standstill.

The prenuptual agreement she signed ("I was so in love") meant she got nothing when it was over. By then, he was having an affair and so was she. Her male "addiction," she says, led her to cheat on every man she was ever with.

"This thing about male addiction -- I HATE all this. It sounds so trendy, California, '80s bull, you know? But I believe a lot of us feel a kind of hole in your heart. An unfortunate ache that's fixed by some people by eating too much. For others with freebase. In my case, I'm a romance junkie."

Of course we know that the only thing that can fill that void is Jesus Christ.

-- Ann Trebbe, USA Today, 4-10-91, pg. 20.

from Source not recorded · Ann Trebbe via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romance

Getting yoked with someone

The Yoke's On You

Two beasts are bound with common yoke,

A heavy load to bear.

If oxen both, or donkeys both,

The burden they can share.

They draw the load with common force

They step with balanced gait

They walk in steady partnership

Each equal with its mate.

But what if ox and ass are joined

And made to share the load

Both yoked together, two-as-one,

To journey down the road?

The ox's greater stride and strength

The donkey cannot match

The yoke that binds the two as one

Begins to wear and catch.

Each beast itself could do the job

If yoked with its own kind---

When bound with one of different breed

The yoke will chafe and bind

The lesson of the ox and ass

Is one that should ring true.

Consider well your partner's heart

Before the yoke's on you.

Attracting others

Author Elizabeth Elliot says she is often asked, "What can I do to get him to notice me?" Her surprising answer: "Nothing. That is, nothing toward the man. Don't call him. Don't write a little note with a smiley face. Don't sidle up to him in the hall and gasp, `I've just got to talk to you!' Don't ignore him, don't pursue him, don't do him favors, don't talk about him to nine carefully selected listeners. Direct your energies to obedience to God, not to nailing the man."

At first glance, Elliot's perspective may seem like an inefficient way to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet her point is that all these tricks don't really change or attract people. On the other hand, if we concentrate on living our lives as God would have us live, people will be attracted to that love which shows through us.

from Source not recorded via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database lovemarriagesex

Truths To Remember

Truths to Remember

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

3. When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! don't expect love in return.

6. There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart.

7. Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed-to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, need to love those who still love although they've been hurt before.

8. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

9. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Hope you find the one that makes you smile.

10. There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real! Hope you dream of that special someone.

11. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

12. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

13. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

14. The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves and not twist them with our own image-otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

15. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

16. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

17. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

18. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

19. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

from Email via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database

RM-Bible (4/10/99)

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.

And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.

The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.

The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,

"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."

"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."

She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early, way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.

Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.

While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.

With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.

Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,

The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.

The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,

Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner

said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know." "The

flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."

"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.

There also is another thing, that I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,

That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...

"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,

I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.

For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.

I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.

That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,

That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.

I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,

When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.

But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,

To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,

And place the roses where we are, together once again."

from Source not recorded via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database poem

Pay Them To Go Home?

Years ago actor Clark Gable was caught paying a prostitute. In an interview, he was asked why he, of all people, felt he had to pay for sex. After a long pause, Mr. Gable replied, "I do not pay women for sex, I pay them to go home."

from Ann Landers (RTD, 8/27/99) via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database

Work, Dance, Love

Work like you don't need money, dance like no one is watching and love like you have never been hurt. ------- Mark Twain

from Sermon Fodder (8/25/99) · Mark Twain via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database liferomance

The Perfect Girl

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married? Replied the gentleman, “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I’ve been looking for the perfect girl.”

“Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry.”

“Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl , the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me.”

“Well, why didn’t you marry her,” asked the friend.

“She was looking for the perfect man,” he said.

from Joke Du Jour via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database marriage

Love Is A Decision

If your marriage relationship doesn't have a destination, how will you know when you arrive? And why wait for love to materialize out of stardust, when you could choose excitement and romance - now?

There is a simple yet profound plan for a marriage of depth and warmth and excitement! Plan, you ask? Exactly! Good marriages are no accident. The rules are simple enough; you just need them outlined for you to follow in a profound guide. Tough times can strike any family relationship. But deciding to love - in practical ways outlined here - can result in relationships that are tougher than tough times.

Six elements to staying in love are:

1. Making your spouse feel truly honored

2. Learning the art of touching - tenderly

3. Keeping courtship alive in your marriage

4. Re-opening a heart closed by anger

5. Building - or rebuilding - trust in a relationship

6. Becoming best friends with your family

These six elements are the keys to Love. Love is not an emotion, love is not a feeling, love is not happen-stance. Love is a Decision. Love is waking up every day committed to honoring your mate by implementing the above six keys. If you want to have a great relationship, guess what, it's up to you.

We see so many couples come through our live events and counseling sessions that want us to “fix” them. They want a better, more fun-filled and intimate marriage, but they don't know how to reach it. The most common and most fundamental thing these couples are lacking is the knowledge that love is a decision.

If you want to wake up each and every morning excited about your marriage, then deciding to do this is the first step.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickId #12523]

from Internet: Messages From the Masters; editor Jim Rohn · Gary Smalley via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romancelovedecisionhusband wife

Romance Doesn't Have To Cost A Lot

Q: My wife likes romance, but since we've been on a tight budget, there's not enough money left after paying the bills and saving to splurge on a dozen roses or a romantic restaurant. My wife is great, and I don't want to deprive her of these things that she enjoys so much. What should I do?

A: Romance is important, and it is a critical item in the budget. Wives and husbands need to be reminded in special ways that they are appreciated - and not just on the holidays invented by greeting card companies. According to Stephen Covey, women look at romantic gestures differently than men do. Men see themselves as making a deposit into an "emotional bank account" when they give their wife a card or flowers. Men see each item as carrying a different value. For example, a card might have a value of a $1 deposit, and flowers or dinner might have a value of $20 in this emotional bank account. Women, however, tend to see almost all gestures and gifts as having relatively the same $1 value in the account. So the bottom line here is that a romantic gesture does not have to cost a lot to carry equal value in her eyes: Dinner versus a card are going to do as much for each of you in her mind. The good news is there are endless possibilities when it comes to ways to "light her fire" at little or no expense. Use your imagination. Here are a few suggestions.

Strategically place little heart-shaped notes where she will find them when you are not around. Place them in her purse, her briefcase, her car, her shoe, in the refrigerator or in her make-up bag. In these notes simply say "I love you" or "I'm thinking of you."

Another excellent gesture is an unexpected, short phone call in the middle of the day that begins with "I appreciate all that you do for me."

On another occasion when you have some blow money, buy her a single rose or a small bouquet of daisies or carnations for around $2 to $4.

A massage from you with soft lighting and soft music and the telephone turned off can be a romantic surprise.

You can give her handmade coupons that are redeemable for some of her favorite free activities, such as "one evening-sunset stroll" or "one evening cuddled quietly before the TV" (of course, this means she gets possession of the remote control for the entire evening).

One woman in our office received pearl earrings and a poem her husband wrote for Valentine's Day. She went on and on about how much she loved the poem and barely made mention of the earrings. When I asked her about it, she said that she liked the earrings, but the poem required him to dig deep and give from the heart, not the wallet.

Being romantic does not have to cost a penny. Of course, when you do have a few dollars to spare on romance, consider it an excellent investment in your spouse's emotional bank account, one that no mutual fund could ever match.

Building up each other's self-esteem and sense of security is key to the survival of a marriage through times when money is tight and emotions are raw.

*

Looking For Love (in All the Virtual Places): Hyperdating

After breaking up with his girlfriend, Wei-Li Tjong, a young New York attorney, set out to meet someone new. Instead of relying on introductions by friends or his professional contacts, Tjong did what increasing numbers of people his age are doing: He placed an Internet personal ad.

Tjong's experience was chronicled in a recent article in THE NEW YORK TIMES. His personal ad was posted, along with what he admits was a flattering photo, at one of the many Websites devoted to matchmaking.

Within two months, Tjong went out with more than seventy women -- sometimes more than one a night. By his estimate, a third of these had "gone home with him," a euphemism for sex.

Tjong's experience is hardly unique. One online dating site boasts more than 3 million ads. As the first generation of Americans who have grown up with e-mail and the Internet comes of age, those numbers can only go up.

The spread of what the TIMES calls "hyperdating" is, according to Robert Rosenwein of Lehigh University, redefining our ideas about intimacy. Traditional dating was, in Rosenwein's words, "a very long process where you disclose things over time." Hyperdating speeds things up considerably, to say the least.

Rosenwein's assessment is right on the mark, but the ability to do instant couple-matching and mating raises important questions. If the article is correct about the way that technology is shaping people's expectations, then we're trading something very important for the convenience provided by technology.

For starters, notice how many of the girls Tjong hooked up with -- and, yes, sadly that's the right phrase -- had sex with him on their first and only date. Hyperdating may claim to be about relationships, but judging by the facts, it's largely about casual, meaningless sex.

Even more troubling is how unromantic this kind of experience is. In the hyperdating world, people are commodities. It requires strategic planning, a flair for marketing, and cold calculation to stand out in the sea of personal ads.

This is dehumanizing -- self as commodity -- and not that different from the way that we market consumer goods. It has nothing to do with building lasting relationships. And it certainly has nothing to do with intimacy. Hyperdating lacks the patience required to truly know a person.

Because of this, hyperdating is a pale imitation of true romantic love, which, as C. S. Lewis wrote, is a foretaste of the love of God. In THE FOUR LOVES, Lewis wrote that, in romantic love, we place the other person's interest at the center of our being. We love that one special person as we love ourselves.

But to do that requires an investment of ourselves, including our time, and that leaves us vulnerable. But as Lewis put it, "The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell" -- or, in this case, the hyperdating scene.

It's not because the desire for companionship is wrong, but because the way in which it is pursued robs it of intimacy -- the very thing that makes companionship and dating desirable in the first place.

For further reading:

C. S. Lewis, THE FOUR LOVES (Harvest Books, December 1971).

Warren St. John, "Young, Single and Dating at Hyperspeed," THE NEW YORK TIMES, 21 April 2002.

_________________________

Copyright © 2002 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. 'BreakPoint with Chuck Colson' is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

from BreakPoint Commentary · Charles Colson via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database relationshipslove

In the Middle of Your Love

Malachi 2:13

As the kids were growing up, Karen and I would sometimes sneak into the kitchen to - well, the kids said it was to "smooch." We were known to occasionally grab a quick hug and kiss in what we thought was a private spot. One time when I started "smooching" with Karen, I forgot that our baby son Brad was sitting there in his high chair. Suddenly, in the midst of this romantic moment, I hear this laughing ... and clapping ... and banging on his high chair tray. It was like he was saying, "Go for it, Mommy and Daddy!" And over the years, Karen and I would be hugging sometimes when we suddenly felt a little person wiggling in between us - sometimes two little persons, or even three. And invariably, we'd see big blue eyes looking up at us, and one of our kids saying, "Mommy, Daddy - can I be in the middle of your love?"

Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "In the Middle of Your Love."

If you're a parent, that's exactly where your children are supposed to be - in the middle of your love for your husband or wife and their love for you. God makes that very clear in our word for today from the Word of God in Malachi 2:13-15.

God's people are wondering why they seem to be getting no response from God in spite of all their spiritual activity. God says, "You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because He no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, 'Why?' It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His." So, God says people are not experiencing His blessing because they aren't keeping their promises that they made to the person they married. He intends for them to be functioning in unity.

Then comes the surprising reason why God is so concerned that a husband and wife be loving each other as they should. He says, "And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring." In other words, God is saying, "If Mom and Dad are treating each other right, the kids will turn out right. If Mom and Dad's love isn't what it should be, who knows how the kids are going to turn out?"

Your children are supposed to be caught in the overflow of you and your spouse loving one another, not loved instead of you loving one another. And it may be that you have allowed that love to atrophy, to drift, to turn to resentment ... or coldness ... or neglect. And while your child is still getting loved, they aren't in the middle of your love for one another. A child's security, a child's stability is in knowing that the love from which they came is still going strong!

So maybe it's time to do whatever you must do to rekindle the original flame. There was a time when you thought you couldn't live without that person. Would you focus on the things you once loved, on the hope factors in your relationship, on whatever apologizing, forgiving, counseling, or communicating it's going to take to rekindle that love?

Your son or daughter is quietly asking, "Mommy, Daddy - can I be in the middle of your love?" Do whatever it takes to make sure the answer is yes.

________________

Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"

*

from A Word With You by Ron Hutchcraft #4035 · Ron Hutchcraft via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romance

If Men Truly Ran the World

If men TRULY ran the world...

1. Valentines would be moved to February 29 so it would only occur in Leap Years.

2. Garbage would take itself out.

3. The only show opposite “ Monday Night Football” would be Monday Night Football from a different camera angle.

4. Instead of an expensive engagement ring you could present your wife with a giant foam hand that said “you're #1.”

5. When your wife/girlfriend needed to talk to you during the game she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

from Source not recorded · Submitted by Richard Jones, Louisville, Kentucky via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romance

Does the Bible Really Say All That About Romance?

Isaiah 62:5

The Bible speaks not only of ardent love between men and women, but it presents God himself as a lover and his courting of creation as the Great Romance.

The symbol seems a strange one, considering the Christian reluctance to embrace romantic love. Yet it is distinct throughout Scripture. God desires Israel for his bride: "For, as a young man weds a maiden, so you shall wed him who rebuilds you" (Isa. 62:5; all quotations from the NEB). He fondly recalls the days of harmony, "the love of your bridal days, when you followed me in the wilderness" (Jer. 2:2). Yet Israel is unfaithful—God is the unrequited lover. "Will a girl forget her finery or a bride her ribbons? Yet my people have forgotten me over and over again. How well you pick your way in search of lovers!" (Jer. 2:32). God is a passionate lover, and passion can fuel anger. Like the country singer who wonders, "if I saw you, would I kiss you or want to kill you on sight?" God storms at his lover for her prostitution.

After all, he rescued her as a newborn baby lying in her own blood, raised her to full womanhood, gave her fine clothes and jewelry, provided for her the best of foods, and presented her with sons and daughters (Ezek. 16:114). In return, she imperviously fornicates. "How you anger me!" shouts God (Ezek. 16:30). He threatens to turn her over to her many lovers, to strip her naked before them. The lovers will rob her jewelry, stone her, and hack her to pieces (Ezek. 16:39-40).

Which is it, then, kiss or kill?

Wait, for God is the perfect lover. He vents his anger, then whispers: "But now listen, I will woo her, I will go with her into the wilderness and comfort her" (Hos. 2:14). He follows her through fires, floods, dark woods, wherever she goes, then pleads "How shall I deal with you? Your loyalty to me is like the morning mist, like dew that vanishes early." Don't you see, he adds, "loyalty is my desire, not sacrifice" (Hos. 6:4-5). Love will heal: it will reveal the eternal identity and make all things new. Come, God says, and Israel may be "fair as the olive" and "flourish like a vine" (Hos. 14;6-7).

Then the persistent lover takes another tack. He is not out to woo only one tribe, one people, but all, and all of creation. This wild lover will stop at nothing. He condescends and assumes the nature of a slave. He walks among us and heals and proclaims peace and routes demons (and takes up a whip to show some of that old anger too). He demonstrates his power over death by raising the dead, he tells story after story to win our trust. He looks on us adoringly, and yearns, "How often have I longed to gather you children, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings: but you would not let me" (Luke 13:34).

And still we will not let him. He is embarrassing us. He keeps company with prostitutes, for one thing. Sometimes he acts too happy, and he eats and drinks more than a holy man should. Worst of all, he makes outlandish claims that he is the same God who has been chasing us all along. Finally, cruelly, we turn our backs on him once more, and nail his back to a cross.

But he is God, and mad in love enough to bear it, to take all our anger and guilt. Three days later, he is backand this shocks us into trying to love him better. Our infidelity is long and habitual, though, and we still slip often. There are yet many other gods winking at us, seducing us. Our resolve to be unfaithful is weakened, just the same.

We have been betrothed to our "true and only husband" (2 Cor. 11:2). We have seen that love really is stronger than death, stronger than life or angels or principalities or powers or anything else. In the end, there is no fighting it. We already hear fiddles scratching away at a distant feast, and we wonder more and more why we ran so hard from this lover. "Happy are those who are invited to the wedding-supper of the Lamb!" (Rev. 19:9).

We hear much of the wedding day, of great, jubilant crowds rumbling like a dozen waterfalls or rolling thunder. They have stopped running and, at long last, accepted true love. "Alleluia!" they cry. "The Lord our God, sovereign over all, has entered on his reign! Exult and shout for joy and do him homage, for the wedding-day of the Lamb has come! His bride has made herself ready, and for her dress she has been given fine linen, clean and shining" (Rev. 19:7-8).

Ah: the bride. Finally she is made new. God's people bear renewed bodies; bodies sown in humiliation but raised in glory, mortal bodies clothed with immortality (1 Cor. 15:43 and 53). And so suns and moons, rocks and trees, all creation drawn into the heart of God, consummating the praise for which it was made (Ps. 148:5-6). Consumation is what weddings are all about.

Soon, very soon, the wedding of all weddings will begin. Heaven will crash open and the bridegroom appear on a white horse. God's people may yet be panting from their headlong dash away from him, but they will gather breath to shout.

"'Come!' say the Spirit and the bride.

"'Come' let each hearer reply" (Rev. 22:17)

___________________________

This article originally appeared in the Feb. 3, 1984, issue of Christianity Today. At that time Rodney Clapp was CT's editor of arts and sciences. He is now editorial director for Brazos Press.

Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc./Christianity Today magazine.

*

from Internet: Online Christianity Today ( C T Classic) · Rodney Clapp via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romancemarriage

Poem: the Song of Wandering Aengus

The Song of Wandering Aengus

I went out to the hazel wood,

Because a fire was in my head,

And cut and peeled a hazel wand,

And hooked a berry to a thread;

And when white moths were on the wing,

And moth-like stars were flickering out,

I dropped the berry in a stream

And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor

I went to blow the fire aflame,

But something rustled on the floor,

And some one called me by my name:

It had become a glimmering girl

With apple blossom in her hair

Who called me by my name and ran

And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering

Through hollow lands and hilly lands,

I will find out where she has gone,

And kiss her lips and take her hands;

And walk among long dappled grass,

And pluck till time and times are done

The silver apples of the moon,

The golden apples of the sun.

-- William Butler Yeats

Eight Needs of the "Millennial" Generation

According to Jim Toole, these are the eight needs of the "Millennial" generation (1987-2007):

• The cry for Relationships. Be accessible, consistent and transparent.

• Responsibility. Build/earn trust; have some rules.

• Reassurance. Show acceptance and give approval.

• Rescue. "They need you to rescue them from themselves and from their parents. They may need advice, counseling or therapy. Don't attempt a rescue you aren't prepared to handle."

• Romance. "They need affection, connection and companionship. They need to understand romance isn't what they see in the movies."

• Recreation/re-creation. Provide adventure, activity and competition.

• Reconciliation. "They want everyone to get along and feel good at the end of the day."

• Reverence. "They want to be in awe of God; they want to celebrate their worship; they want to experience a transcendence, something outside of themselves."

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Reflections On Love By Third and Fourth Graders

John 13:1

Reflections on love by third and fourth graders:

WHY DO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE?

-"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6

-"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." Mae, age 9

-"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." Manuel, age 8

WHAT IS FALLING IN LOVE LIKE?

-"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." Glenn, age 7

-"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." Bart, age 9

HOW DO YOU MAKE LOVE ENDURE?

-"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." Dick, age 7

-"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." Dave, age 8

When Marriage Isn't God's Will

At a magazine publishing workshop in New York some years ago, I heard a financial counselor say that he’d never been able to talk anyone out of launching a new publication.

An expert in the field, he was often consulted on business plans, legal hurdles, and such, and in many cases, the figures just didn’t add up. By all reasonable expectations, the periodical was going to fail and the publisher’s bank account would take a major hit. Never mind that. Once the publishing bug bit, there was little or nothing you could say to dissuade them from economic self-harm. So, with a smile, he said he simply tried to facilitate the realization of their expensive dreams and minimize the damage that was almost sure to come. There was no fighting the romance of it all.

Another speaker surveyed a single year’s launches, as many as three a week in the U.S., as I recall. It was the age of niche magazines, and probably still is. For instance, the preceding 12 months saw the publication of, not just a new hunting magazine, but two new turkey hunting magazines. How could they possibly both survive? Again, it probably didn’t matter that much. The publishers were satisfied simply to be in print. It was the stuff of dreams.

Recently, I’ve been reminded of that workshop, but in a different connection. I never stop marveling at the way in which those who profess Christ will barge ahead with romances and even marriage plans where the Bible gives them no encouragement whatsoever. When the “love” bug bites, they will toss aside scruples, ignore Scripture, alienate their believing friends, horrify their family and embarrass the church. They will even fornicate and cohabitate as they slide into marriage. And though they may make a gesture or two toward breaking it off, they’ll then mope around as martyrs, only to spring back into each other’s arms at the slightest prompting from their fevered brows. As a ministerial colleague volunteered last week, there’s virtually no talking them out of it.

I have tried to dissuade them. And prayed. I remember one afternoon when my wife, Sharon, and I were on our knees at home in the hour before an illicit wedding involving one of our church members was to occur. I had preached God’s standard pointedly, taken stands in my wedding policy and caught the heat publicly. Through it all, the man in question had been my friend, and then he went right out and “followed his heart” away from the wife of his youth to marry a woman who had “followed her heart” away from the husband of her youth, right before our eyes. It was astonishing. “But surely God wanted them to be happy – and he would forgive them.” So the reasoning went, I suppose.

Why is this so? I can think of two reasons right off: relationship idolatry and mission deficit.

Of course, some folks dream of riotous, hedonistic living. Still others fantasize about pulling the levers of power in the highest corporate or governmental councils, not for the public good, but for their own gratification and aggrandizement. But most people would be satisfied with someone who would hold them on a cold night, offer a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, darn their socks or chop their wood, laugh with them over the intricacies of domesticity, buy them presents, plan trips with them and accompany them to entertainments. They just want someone who will make them feel good in a warmhearted sort of way. Who doesn’t?

Relationships can be wonderful -- unless, that is, they violate God’s counsel. But God’s counsel is usually displaced in this culture, relegated to the back shelves, well behind the prime stock of affections, affirmations and commiserations. Even in church. Some call it the “Oprahfication of America.” Holiness is nice, but it doesn’t have a chance up against feelings.

Second, being “unequally yoked” or “living in sin” has little effect on spiritually useless lives. If there is no ministry to damage, no ministry gets damaged. With or without the stain of sexual or marital indiscretion, a vapid life is still vapid, at least in Kingdom terms. If you have no sense of teamship in marriage for the sake of the Great Commission, you hardly notice the loss when the very ground of that teamship –- holy matrimony between a consecrated man and woman -– is ignored.

Which brings me to Lottie Moon, the namesake of Southern Baptists’ annual offering for International Missions. She was engaged to Crawford Toy, a rising star in the universe of Baptist, and indeed American, academia. But when she found his treatment of Scripture objectionable, she walked away from the relationship and chose a life of sacrificial solitude half a world away. Consider this passage from Irwin Hyatt’s book, “Our Ordered Lives Confess: Three 19th Century Missionaries in East Shantung” (Harvard, 1976), found at the SBC website:

Professor Toy, as he had now become, wrote reproposing marriage

and suggesting mission work together in Japan. ... He was known

as a brilliant linguist and theologian. Following the Civil War

he had studied in Europe, where he was exposed to Darwinian

theory and to “the new ideas of the German scholars” on Old

Testament history and inspiration.... Her conclusion was that

... evolution was for her an “untenable position.” ... Later in

China, heated letters arrive, and “The temptation is great.” The

professor, however, now espouses theories that “do not square

with God's Word.” Rejecting C.H. Toy, Harvard and glory, Miss

Moon says, “My cross is loneliness....”

Of course, Lottie Moon was concerned with relationships, but those that mattered most were with her Lord and with the Chinese people to whom he sent her on mission. She could have consorted and snuggled with Professor Toy in Massachusetts or Japan, but she knew that he was not her soulmate on mission for the Lord. This was quite enough to end that romance and free her for heroic service in Christ.

Those seeking marriage outside the counsel of God often quote the Genesis verse that says it was not good for Adam to be alone. I’ve just passed the life-sized portrait of Lottie Moon, hanging in Southern Seminary’s Honeycutt Center, and I’ve been reminded that she was not at all alone. Standing around her are five Chinese beneficiaries of her life, prepared to say, “Thank you, Miss Moon” (and not “Mrs. Toy”).

________

Mark Coppenger is pastor of Evanston (Ill.) Baptist Church and distinguished professor of apologetics at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky. Reprinted from the Illinois Baptist newsjournal, online at WWW.IBSA.ORG/ILLINOISBAPTIST.

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Beyond Platonic To Passionate

John 21:15

It was Valentine's Day and it turned out to be a milestone day in my relationship with the girl I considered to be the best catch in our class. I knew she had been seriously dating someone else for quite a while, and I had to plan my moves very shrewdly, you see, or I'd scare her off. So, we had what we both called this “brother/sister” relationship. Oh, sure I wanted it to be more, but at least I could spend some time with her this way without scaring her off. Well, one day I'd had enough of this platonic relationship stuff. She was actually bringing a Valentine's cake up to some radio staff at our college, and I happened to be there. We got into a pretty intense discussion there, standing by the water fountain, I remember it. And finally I blurted out what I'd been feeling for a long time - “I'm sick and tired of just being your 'brother.’ I want it to be much more!” There it was - all or nothing. And what happened? I married the girl! (This is the part where the audience cheers.)

This is Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about “Beyond Platonic to Passionate.”

Setting aside the romantic part of this, I can't help but wonder if Jesus doesn't want to have a conversation with you and me like I had with the woman I loved that day. “I'm tired the level of relationship you've settled for with Me. I want it to be so much more!” So many of us have been settling for a static, humdrum, platonic relationship with Jesus, when He's calling us to something far more passionate.

Simon Peter, the man who was always at Jesus' service, found out what Jesus cared about most the day Jesus asked him The Question. It's found in John 21, beginning with verse 15, our word for today from the Word of God. The risen Christ has called Peter aside for a private conversation on the lakeshore. “Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon ... do you truly love Me more than these?’ 'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'You know that I love You.’ Jesus said, 'Feed My lambs.’ Again Jesus said, 'Simon ... do you truly love Me?’ He answered, 'Yes, Lord, You know that I love You.’ Jesus said, 'Take care of My sheep.’ The third time He said to him, 'Simon ... do you love Me?’ Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love Me?’ He said, 'Lord ... You know that I love You.’ Jesus said, 'Feed My sheep.'“

Notice, Jesus didn't ask, “Do you believe in Me?” or “Do you work hard for Me?” He only wanted to know one thing: “Do you really love Me?” That's all He really wants to know from you. One reason He asks it three times is because it's so easy to just say a cheap “yes.” We know yes is the only right answer. But Jesus is saying, “Are you ready to take your commitment to me, your closeness to me, to a much deeper level? Do you want our relationship to be much more than what it has been?” He does. He poured out His blood - His life for you. How can we settle for the same old level of loving Him - predictable, official, mechanical, playing it safe.

What will it mean to become more passionate in your love for Jesus? First, more time with Him - not just a rushed or occasional time with Jesus on the margins of your schedule - we're talking non-negotiable, daily “face time” with your Savior. More love also means more honesty - not just talking to Him from your head, not just saying to Him what you're “supposed to” say, but pouring out the deepest corners of your heart to Him. And going for more of Jesus means more praise - consciously, all day long, looking for Jesus all over your day and stopping to praise Him when you see Him. And enlarging your Jesus-love means more territory, letting go of the steering wheel in areas of your life where you've been holding onto control. Releasing what you love most completely to His control, because you can't love Him as He deserves if you're loving something else more. That's spiritual adultery.

Imagine Jesus standing there in front of you, looking you in the eyes saying, “Are you ready to really love me? I died for our relationship to be more than this.” The hymn writer said: “I love Thee because Thou has first loved me, and purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree; I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow; if ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.”

__________

Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #4243]

from A Word With You by Ron Hutchcraft #4513 · Ron Hutchcraft via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database

Can't Buy Me Love: Are We Becoming Marital Consumers?

You have to give the girl credit for honesty — if nothing else. On a website called Craig’s List, a young woman wrote: “I’m a spectacularly beautiful 25-year-old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m looking to [marry] a guy who makes at least half a million a year. Where do you single rich men hang out?”

She also wanted to know how men decided between “marriage versus just a girlfriend. I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY,” she said.

In response, a man who claimed to meet her financial requirements said that from his perspective, her offer was a lousy business deal. “What you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party, and I bring my money,” he wrote. “But here’s the rub: Your looks will fade and my money will” continue to grow. “So in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset.” (Ouch!)

This is why, the man explained, “It doesn’t make good business sense to ‘buy you’ (which is what you’re asking), so I’d rather lease. So a deal that makes sense [to me] is dating, not marriage. If you want to enter into some sort of lease [agreement],” he finished up, “let me know.”

Well, that was pretty harsh! But plenty of readers thought she deserved it. She was turning marriage into an economic transaction — reducing what should be a sacred relationship into nothing more than a contract — and that’s a dangerous mistake.

Economist Jennifer Roback Morse, author of the excellent book LOVE AND ECONOMICS, puts it well. When it comes to marriage, she says, “the language of contract is ... misleading because it undermines the basis of generosity and self-giving that is so important in married life.”

Morse is right. Contractual arrangements are a calculated effort to get what you want on the best terms you can get it. But marriage is about unreserved giving and sharing.

Contracts are limited and renewable; marriage is a permanent, life-long commitment. It is about self-sacrifice, not self-satisfaction.

The Scriptures back this up. Christians have always seen marriage as a covenant with God as a party to it. Couples are to put aside their own selfish desires and focus on the needs of the loved one. But the values of the marketplace, applied to marriage, teach a totally different message: that is, that we are entitled to a good “return on our investment.” They turn would-be brides and grooms into marital consumers, looking for the best deal they can get.

Tragically, people who think this way often end up in a kind of unholy wedlock — one in which men abandon wives the moment their looks begin to fade, and women drop husbands if they run out of money.

That so-called “classy” woman who hoped to marry money should read the Song of Solomon, chapter 8. In this chapter, a bride tells her bridegroom: “If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned.”

These verses offer a beautiful glimpse of love and courtship as God intended them. They make clear that true love cannot be bought and sold — or leased, as the case may be.

When it comes to finding a mate, we should seek a faithful, faith-filled spouse whose “love is better than wine,” as Solomon put it. That is worth more than all the money — or spectacular looks — in the world.

________

Copyright (c) 2007 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #7543]

from BreakPoint Commentary · Charles Colson via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database

Sorry, Tolstoy, Happy Couples Aren't All Alike

More than a century ago, Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy wrote, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

The words have become immortalized, and the unhappy story of “Anna Karenina” is considered one of the greatest novels ever written. But psychologists and sociologists are starting to question the observation.

“I think Tolstoy was totally wrong,” said John Gottman, a psychology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle. “Unhappy families are really similar to one another - there's much more variability among happy families.”

Gottman and others are trying to understand why as many as one in two marriages end in divorce and why so many couples seem to fall out of love and break apart.

Some of the most revealing answers, it turns out, come from the couples who stay together.

While conventional wisdom holds that conflicts in a relationship slowly erode the bonds that hold partners together, couples who are happy in the long term turn out to have plenty of conflicts, too.

Fights and disagreements are apparently intrinsic to all relationships, but couples who stay together over the long haul don't let the fighting contaminate other parts of the relationship, experts say.

“Why do people get married in the first place?” asked Thomas Bradbury, a professor of psychology at the University of California at Los Angeles. “To have someone to listen to, to have a friend to share life's ups and downs. We want to try to draw attention to what's valuable in their relationship.”

Researchers are finding that these other, positive factors of relationships are potent predictors of whether couples feel committed to relationships and whether they weather storms together. As long as those factors are intact, conflicts don't drive people apart.

“What we've discovered is surprising and contrary to what most people think,” said Gottman, author of “The Mathematics of Marriage.” “Most books say it's important for couples to fight fair, but 69% of all marital conflicts never get resolved because they are about personality differences between couples. What's critical is not whether they resolve conflicts but whether they can cope with them.”

“Every couple has irreconcilable differences,” agreed Diane Sollee, founder of www.smartmarriages.com, a Web site devoted to teaching couples skills to improve their relationships. She explained such differences ought to be “managed” instead of being grounds for separations, split-ups and divorce.

Almost 90% of Americans marry at some point. An overwhelming number of those who divorce marry a second time, meaning they may have lost faith in a partner but not in the promise of the institution.

At the same time, changing social mores and expectations are stressing long-term relationships. Two-income couples juggle demanding jobs and professional advancement can sometimes detract from family and intimate relationships. The rising number of women in the work force has given women the economic security to leave unhappy relationships, the sexual revolution has made sex before and outside marriage common, and divorce has lost its stigma.

Nonetheless, most Americans still seek lifelong mates - and expectations from love and marriage have never been higher.

The juxtaposition of high expectations with the stress and cycles of relationships appears to be an important reason many relationships don't work, said Ted Huston, a professor of human ecology and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, who tracked 168 couples over 13 1/2 years.

Huston found that changes in the first two years of marriage often predicted the outcome of relationships. Almost half of all divorces occur within the first seven years of marriage, according to national census data, and many of these “early exiters” report a decline in “bliss” right after marriage.

“When you look at them as newlyweds, they look like they are mutually enchanted and deeply in love and a prototype of your perfectly wed couple - they hug, kiss, say 'I love you' all the time,” he said. “Two years later, they've lost a lot of that romance. They think, 'We once had this great romance, and now we don't.’“

“People have this fairly unrealistic idea: 'I have got to have bliss, and it's got to stay or this is not going to work,'“ he said. “At some level, you don't need the bliss. The Hollywood romance may not be the prelude to a long-term happy marriage.”

Couples who were happy over the long term reported being content at the start of relationships and still contented two years later. Some told Huston, “'I wasn't sure I was in love because I didn't have the tingly feelings you are supposed to have,'“ he said. “They worried their feelings were positive but not intense.”

Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, said her study of 6,000 couples also revealed that couples in long-term relationships tended to have mutual respect, took pride in each other and saw themselves as equals.

“Very successful couples we studied had something besides children that was enjoyable to their relationship,” she added. “It could be travel, hospice work, working on a summer place.... Those things bring stability because they confer pleasure and identity in the way people live together. If you don't like to be together, and don't like the same friends and don't have the same hobbies, you have a problem.”

____________

Appeared in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on Feb. 17, 2002.

Original Love

Revelation 2

Our friend, Cathy, has walked to get around most of her life, but recently she started floating. She's got this glow. She's got a new bounce in her voice when she answers the phone. She's got a new confidence. Cathy's more alive than we've ever seen her. Now what magic could bring about all these wonders? If you haven't guessed, you have been away too long. She's in love! She's in her twenties, and this is her first really big romance. It might be her life-long romance, and it's pretty exciting to watch.

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about “Original Love.”

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Revelation 2. God's talking to a powerhouse group of believers. He says in verse 2, “I know your deeds. I know your hard work. I know your perseverance. I know you cannot tolerate wicked men. You've tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and you found them false. You have persevered. You have endured hardships for my name. You've not grown weary.” Man, these are believers who were doing a whole lot of things right. They're going to get the Church of the Year Award. Right? No, they're missing what Jesus values the most. Listen to Revelation 2:4, “Yet I hold this against you. You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen. Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.” He says, “You guys have fallen. You don't love me like you used to. Oh, you've got the right theology. You've got the right lifestyle. You've got the right activities, but that's not it.” The height of your relationship with Him was when you loved Him with original love.

Could Jesus be saying to you right now, “You don't love me like you used to?” So much is right in your life, and I'm grateful for that, but maybe the big thing isn't right. You don't love Him like you used to. First love has taken on flesh and blood as I have watched it come alive in Cathy's romance. First love isn't cerebral - it's emotional. Do you have deep feelings for Jesus, or has the passion of loving Him grown cold? I want to be more moved by Jesus. More moved by what He did for me on the cross than I've ever been in my life. I have more to be moved by than I ever did when I first started with Him. Cathy's original love is expectant. She looks forward to each new day of being with, and talking with, and going places with the man she loves. That's how a Jesus-lover looks at his or her day. Being with Him, talking with Jesus in the many different experiences of this day.

I'm watching in Cathy a love that's buoyant. No problem seems big enough to sink her now because of a love that's bigger than all of that. Well, those who deeply love Jesus experience buoyancy. It's so easy for the warmth of first love to die. In our relationship with Jesus, first love gets quenched by rules, and rat-race, and religiosity, responsibilities, and sometimes by spiritual adultery where we let something else have the best of our love.

Maybe Jesus is calling you back in to that love - that love that you had when you knew him a lot less, but you loved Him more. Loving Jesus has always begun at the same place - “that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine, has a wondrous attraction for me. Where the dear Lamb of God left His glory above, to bear it to dark Calvary.” In the middle of all our Christianity, it's easy to forget what it's about. It's a relationship; it's a love affair with the Lord Jesus. Maybe right now He's got His hands on your shoulders, and He's asking you what He asked Peter, “Do you love me?” “Oh yes, Lord, if ever I loved you, my Jesus, 'tis now.”

__________

Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"

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[Original illustration here was a duplicate in HolwickID 25837-26027]

from A Word With You by Ron Hutchcraft #4539 · Ron Hutchcraft via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database

12 Ways To Keep Your Love Alive

John 13:1

12 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR LOVE ALIVE

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1. Praise is such a great gift, and it's so easy to give. So look at the things that make your spouse and others unique and develop the habit of praising them for those special things.

2. Every painful trial is like an oyster, and there is a precious pearl-a personal benefit-in every one; every single one.

3. Don't go it alone. Welcome fresh insights of other perspectives-from extended family, friends, good marriage books, or a qualified marriage counselor.

4. In a mutually satisfying relationship, both people's needs are expressed, and they have the flexibility to give and take.

5. Honor goes hand in glove with love, a verb whose very definition is doing worthwhile things for someone who is valuable to us.

6. All our trials, great and small, can bring more of the two best things in life: love for life and love for others.

7. Oneness does not mean that one mate dominates the other or that the stronger controls the weaker.

8. Anger is our choice. We can choose to see its powerful potential for destruction and take steps to reduce it within us. Otherwise, it's and iceberg sinking our love.

9. Better understanding if the motivations and actions that grow out of our basic personalities can help us achieve personal and marital satisfaction.

10. Sharing deep feelings with each other is emotional intercourse, and it's vital to sexual satisfaction.

11. As we reach out to another, our own needs for fulfillment and love are met.

12. Give seven or more praises for every one fault-finding suggestion.

Breaking Up Is Really Hard (on You?)

Breaking up is not only hard to do, but a romantic split may also be especially hard to handle and possibly trigger a bout of depression.

A new study shows romantic breakups can literally add insult to injury by piling humiliation on top of loss, dramatically increasing the risk of depression.

In the largest study to date to rate the role that stressful life events play in triggering depression, anxiety, or a combination of both, researchers found the risk of depression doubled in months when an episode of humiliation occurred along with a serious loss.

“For example, if your marriage breaks up, that's a loss, and it's reasonable to expect that you will experience aspects of grief, including sadness and loss of appetite,” says researcher Kenneth S. Kendler, MD, professor of psychiatry at Virginia Commonwealth University, in a news release.

“If your marriage breaks up and your husband moves into a house a few doors away with a woman half his age, and he shows off his new girlfriend to your friends and family -- that's grief combined with humiliation. Most cases of combined loss and humiliation involved romantic breakups.”

RATING DEPRESSION RISKS

Using a five-point scale, researchers rated the impact of various stressful life events based on interviews with a group of 7,322 male and female twins that were divided into four broad categories:

• Humiliation (such as a breakup sparked by infidelity)

• Entrapment (an event that makes a person feel trapped in a bad or

worsening situation)

• Loss (death of a loved one)

• Danger (fear that a traumatic event will occur)

They then matched the event ratings against episodes of depression, anxiety, and mixed depression/anxiety reported by the participants in the previous year.

The study found the risk of depression or mixed anxiety/depression was significantly higher in months in which there were high ratings for both loss and humiliation, especially if a romantic breakup was involved.

For example, the risk of depression in a month in which there was a breakup that was initiated by the other person or prompted by an infidelity or violence was about 22% compared with a 10% risk of depression in a month when a loved one died but no humiliation occurred.

“Love can make our life wonderful, but it also can make us miserable,” says Kendler.

Other findings of the study, which appears in the Archives of General Psychiatry, include:

• An episode of anxiety was much more likely to occur in the month following a month with high scores for loss and danger.

• High ratings of entrapment, in contrast, were only predictive of mixed bouts of depression and anxiety within the month that the event occurred.

Although the effects of loss and humiliation in increasing the risk of depression were limited to the month in which the events occurred, the impact of danger on the risk of triggering mental illness was more prolonged.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SOURCES: Archives of General Psychiatry, August 2003. News release, Virginia Commonwealth University. Reviewed By Brunilda Nazario, MD

© 2003 WebMD Inc. All rights reserved.

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The Romance Continues

William Jennings Bryan, posing for a portrait, was asked by the artist, “Why do you wear your hair over your ears?”

Mr. Bryan answered, “There's a romance connected with that. When I began courting Mrs. Bryan she objected to the way my ears stood out. So to please her, I let my hair grow to cover them.”

“But that was many years ago,” said the artist. “Why don't you have your hair cut now?”

“Because,” twinkled Bryan, “the romance is still going on.”

________

Serve Him With Mirth by Leslie B. Flynn

Obvious But False: Common Views of Love and Courtship

Ask the typical college student, What's love? That's a no-brainer — love is a romantic feeling, right? And what's the purpose of sex? Pleasure, of course. What else could it be?

In his new book ASK ME ANYTHING: PROVOCATIVE ANSWERS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS, University of Texas professor J. Budziszewski tells students that both of these “obvious” answers are dead wrong. Take the idea that love is a feeling. If that were really true, then how could people getting married PROMISE to love each other until they are parted by death? Feelings come and go; you can't PROMISE a feeling. What you CAN promise is a commitment of the will to the good of the other person. And that's what love is.

Or take that other “obvious” but wrong answer that the purpose of sex is pleasure. “False,” says Budziszewski. Of course, sex is pleasurable, but that doesn't make pleasure its purpose. The exercise of EVERY natural power is pleasurable. Eating is pleasurable; taking a deep breath is pleasurable; flexing a muscle is pleasurable. Is the purpose of all those things also pleasure? Think what that would imply. If the purpose of eating was pleasure, then if it gave you more pleasure to eat, purge, and eat some more, you ought to do it. The reason you shouldn't is that the purpose of eating isn't pleasure, but nutrition. In the same way, says Budziszewski, the purpose of our sexual powers isn't pleasure, but procreation — in other words, making families.

In a snappy dialogue format, Budziszewski takes up these and lots of similar questions. The first part of the book is what he calls “girl and guy stuff.” What are “the moves” of courtship, and why are they so hard to figure out? Is “missionary dating” a good idea or a bad one? Does it matter whom you live with? Why do so many people seem to be afraid of growing up? And here's an explosive one: I got my girlfriend pregnant — what now?

My favorite question is why “sowing your wild oats” never works out the way it's supposed to. Sexuality, he says, is like duct tape. The first time you use it, it sticks you to whomever it touches. But just like that duct tape, if you rip it off and then touch it to someone else, it isn't as sticky as it was before. So what happens when you pull it loose from one partner after another? Budziszewski explains: You just don't stick anymore, your sexual partners seem like strangers, and you stop feeling anything.

I like that answer. Not only is it thoroughly biblical, but it honors the fact of our natural design — the way we are actually made to fit the way the world really is.

If you want to learn more about how to explain the creational plan for love and courtship to the young people in your life, check out this wonderful new book ASK ME ANYTHING: PROVOCATIVE ANSWERS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS. During the next few days, Mark Earley and I will be talking more about it.

Don't forget: If we go against the way God designed us to live, it is like cutting across the grain of the universe, and we're asking for trouble. All we have to do to live right is to get with the plan — His plan, that is.

FOR FURTHER READING AND INFORMATION:

• Ask Me Anything — book by the professor of government and philosophy at the University of Texas, Dr. J. Budziszewski (aka Professor Theophilus) answers piercing, real life questions, the same urgent questions he receives from students on campus or through his regular column on the webzine, boundless.org.

• Budziszewski, How to Stay Christian in College (Th1nk Books, 2004). The 1999 version is also available for half-price.

• “College Life Today,” a BreakPoint interview with Dr. J. Budziszewski.

• Budziszewski, “'Little Platoons': God's Design for Our Relationships,” BreakPoint WorldView, March 2003.

• Read Dr. Budziszewski's “Office Hours“ and “Ask Theophilus“ columns at Boundless.

• Kelly Monroe, Finding God at Harvard (Zondervan, 1997).

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Copyright (c) 2004 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

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from BreakPoint Commentary · Charles Colson via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database

Martin Luther's Thoughts On Marriage

Proverbs 31:11

Martin Luther on marriage:

I have been very happy in my marriage, thank God. I have a faithful wife, according to Solomon: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” (Proverbs 31:11). She spoils nothing for me. Ah, dear Lord God, marriage is not something natural and physical; but it is a gift of God, the sweetest, nay, the most chaste life; it is above all celibacy.

This is a true definition of marriage: Marriage is the God-appointed and legitimate union of man and woman in the hope of having children or at least for the purpose of avoiding fornication and sin and living to the glory of God.

Note that when … natural reason (whom the heathen have followed when they wanted to be very wise), looks at married life, she turns up her nose and says: “Ah, should I rock the baby, wash diapers, make the bed, smell foul odors, watch through the night, wait upon the bawling youngster and heal its infected sores, then take care of the wife, support her by working, tend to this, tend to that, do this, do that, suffer this, suffer that, and put up with whatever additional displeasure and trouble married life brings? Should I be so imprisoned?”

I would not want to exchange my Kate for France nor for Venice to boot; to begin with (1) because God has given her to me and me to her; (2) because I often find out that there are more shortcomings in other women than in my Kate; and although she, of course, has some too, these are nonetheless offset by far greater virtues; (3) because she keeps faith and honor in our marriage relation.

Marriage is most suitable between equals. An old man and a young girl do not fit well together. But, of course, in such a case riches can do something. A certain old man who had become engaged boastfully showed all his wealth to his fiancée. An agreeable servant always remarked: “My dear young lady, he has much more of this.” Finally, when a coughing spell plagued the old man, the servant also said: “He has much more of this....”

Whoever intends to enter married life should do so in faith and in God’s name. He should pray God that it may prosper according to his will and that marriage may not be treated as a matter of fun and folly. It is a hazardous matter and as serious as anything on earth can be. Therefore we should not rush into it as the world does, in keeping with its frivolousness and wantonness and in pursuit of its pleasure; but before taking this step we should consult God, so that we may lead our married life to his glory.

It is no small gift from God to find a wife who is pious and easy to get along with.

It is the highest grace of God when love continues to flourish in married life. The first love is ardent, is an intoxicating love, so that we are blinded and are drawn to marriage. After we have slept off our intoxication, sincere love remains in the married life of the godly; but the godless are sorry they ever married.

Married folk are not to act as they now usually do. The men are almost lions in their homes, hard toward their wives and servants. The women, too, everywhere want to domineer and have their husbands as servants. It is foolish for a man to want to demonstrate his masculine power and heroic strength by ruling over his wife. On the other hand, the ambition of wives to dominate the home is also intolerable.

t is impossible to keep peace between man and woman in family life if they do not condone and overlook each other’s faults but watch everything to the smallest point. For who does not at times offend? Thus many things must be overlooked; very many things must be ignored that a peaceful relation may exist

The love toward one’s spouse burns like a fire and seeks nothing but the person of the spouse. It says: I do not desire what is yours; I desire neither silver nor gold, neither this nor that; I desire you yourself; I want you entirely or not at all. All other love seeks something else than the person of the loved one.

[sidebar quote]: The world says of marriage: A short joy and a long displeasure. But he who understands it finds in it delight, love, and joy without ceasing.

________

"Christian History Sampler," 1990-2007 {?), Salvation Army History edition. Excerpted from "What Luther Says: A Practical In-Home Anthology for the Active Christian," compiled by Ewald M. Plass (St. Louis, Concordia, 1959).

from (see note at bottom) · Submitted by Pastor Garth Hutchinson via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romance

The Five Toughest Questions For Men

The five toughest questions for men are:

1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?

3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she's prettier than me?

5. What would you do if I died?

Each question and answer has the potential to explode into a major argument,

so here - as a public service - are some things not to say as well as the

appropriate response.

Question 1: What are you thinking about?

WRONG: Baseball.

WRONG: Football.

WRONG: How hungry I am.

WRONG: My new truck.

RIGHT: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, darling. I was just thinking about

what a warm, attractive, and intelligent woman you are."

Question 2: Do you love me?

WRONG: Oh yeah, loads.

WRONG: Would it make you feel better if I said yes?

WRONG: How would you define love, exactly?

RIGHT: "YES! I can't believe how lucky I am to ever have found you!"

Question 3: Do I look fat?

WRONG: Compared to what?

WRONG: I would rather say you're not exactly thin.

WRONG: I've seen fatter.

RIGHT: "Of course not! Why, you look even better than the day I married

you!"

Question 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

WRONG: Yes, but you have a better personality.

WRONG: Not as pretty as you were when you were her age.

WRONG: Not prettier, but definitely thinner.

RIGHT: "Of course not! Why, you look even better than the day I married

you!"

Question 5: What would you do if I died?

WRONG: Buy a Corvette.

WRONG: Probably marry someone thinner and prettier.

WRONG: Date your sister.

RIGHT: "I'll never know, dear. I plan on dying one day before you so I never

have to live without you."

________

Source: Monday Fodder

http://www.fishermansnet.com/monday-fodder/

Why He Holds Her Hand

While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they approached, I commented on how romantic it was.

He replied, “We have been holding hands when we go out in public for over thirty years. I have to. If I let go, she shops.”

________

Source: Cybersalt Digest, http://www.cybersalt.org/

I Will Kill Myself and Beet You Up

Here is the entire text of a love letter intercepted by a second grade schoolteacher, passed on to a parent, who passed it on to me:

Dear Billy, if you dont say you love me and walk to the bus top

with me I will kill myself and beet you up. I love you and wan

to marry you soon. Suzy

The little girl was eight at the time. The parent showed me the letter at the rehearsal dinner the day before Suzy married Billy. Suzy was twenty-four. During the wedding service, I shared the letter with the guests, and in her vows, had Suzy repeat to me: “I, Suzy, promise you, Billy, never to kill myself or beat you up.”

If the marriage lasts as long as her love, and her love is as large as the laughter in the ceremony, the odds are good for a happy ever after.

________

By a minister in Bellevue, Washington, as told to R.F.

Submitted by Kimberley Broyles

The Most Romantic Story Groucho Ever Heard

On “You Bet Your Life”, Groucho Marx's popular television show, he created a kind of host never seen before,” Leo Rosten recalled.

“I was backstage one night when one of the contestants turned out to be from a country area. Let's call him Floyd.

“Groucho, 'How did you meet your wife?'

Floyd, 'Well, I drive a truck.'

Groucho, 'You ran over her?'

Floyd, 'No, she was in the barn.'

Groucho, 'You drove your truck into a barn?'

Floyd, 'No, no. Her family had been missing some chickens.'

Groucho, 'They were lonely for chickens?'

'No, they had been missing, so they turned on a light in the barnyard, and I'm driving up to get some turkeys, and her father hollers, 'The turkeys are in the barn.'

Groucho, 'You married a turkey?'

Floyd, 'No! As I go to the barn a big skunk starts for the chicken house, and a girl yells, 'Get that skunk.’ So I jumped on it and she fell on it, too - and we both smelled so bad -'

Groucho, 'That's the most romantic story I ever heard.'“

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If the Dress Fits...

A jilted Romanian man found a new bride by asking which of his neighbours could fit into the wedding dress.

Florin Mazilu, from Malu Mare in southeastern Romania, is now recommending buying the dress first and looking for the wife second.

He claims his stand-in bride has turned out to be the love of his life after original fiancée Adelina Epure dumped him four days before their wedding.

Mazilu spread word in his hometown that he would marry any girl who fitted into the wedding dress and the wedding ring he had already bought.

Within hours he had found 21-year-old local Ana Maria who fitted perfectly into the dress and ring.

He said: “I had everything prepared for the wedding but no bride. I was determined to go ahead with a wedding though and while the conditions I set for a bride were unusual I knew that if she fitted the dress and could wear the ring on her finger it would work.

“Ana Maria was the only one of dozens of girls who could fit into the dress perfectly and could wear the ring. It was love at first sight. I knew she was perfect from the moment I saw her.”

________

Source: Ananova (11/01/06)

Men Want A Biblical Woman

Researchers at Alabama’s Auburn University say they have determined what men want in the “ideal woman”: she is sexually inexperienced but likes sex, has a career but is a full-time homemaker, has a slim build, is athletic, and has pretty eyes, dark hair, good complexion and a firm derriere. A large bosom is nice, but not all that important.

The study’s lead author, Erica Gannon, says the specifications are similar to what is found in the Bible. “Our participants, whether knowingly or unknowingly, espouse a view of the ideal woman that is very similar to the views held by individuals thousands of years ago.” However, she adds, “It’s hard to be this woman.”

________

UPI

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #27407]

from This Is True via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database beautyromance

Fasten Seat Belts

Job 31:1

Flying to San Francisco from San Diego the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.

Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.

“Well,” she explained, up front there are 17 University of San Diego girls going to San Francisco for the weekend. In back, there are 25 Navy recruits out on weekend liberty.

“What would you do?”

________

Source: Chapnotes, ChapnotesMail@aol.com

Making A Living In Bethlehem

Ruth 1:19

1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1

The Beauty of Ruth

Making a Living in Bethlehem

Ruth 1:19–2:7

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. Let us review what has happened thus far in this book of Ruth

2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2

A quick review – the introduction

A. A family left Judah to go to Moab; why?

1.Because of a famine in the land

B. What were the names of this family?

1.Elimelech, Naomi, Mahlon and Chilion

C. What happened to Elimelech?

1.He died

D. What happened to Mahlon and Chilion?

1. They married, and then died without children

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. Some simple questions to bring us up to date

3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3

A quick review – from last week

A. What were the names of the two Moabitess wives?

1.Orpah and Ruth

B. What did Naomi decide to do and why?

1. To return to Judah

2. God had visited His people with food; there was nothing left to keep her in Moab

C. What did Orpah and Ruth decide to do?

1. First they were both going to accompany her to Judah

2.Then Orpah went back to her people, but Ruth persisted

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. And a few more

4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4

The Character of Three Women

A. What did you decide on the character of Naomi?

B. What did you decide on the character of Orpah?

C. What did you decide on the character of Ruth?

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. Now … let’s think back to what we learned about three characters

1. Naomi, the widow of Elimelech

2. Orpah, the widow of Chilion

3. Ruth, the widow of Mahlon

B. These had much in common, much to admire in each, but were quite different

C. Let us go on with the verses that follow

5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5

Naomi Feels Bitter — Ruth 1:19-22

A. In these verses we read of

1.The Homecoming to Bethlehem

2. The Discussion with her friends

3. A résumé and introduction to what follows

B. The meaning of “(El) Shaddai”

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. 19 And both of them went on until they came to Bethlehem; and it came to pass as they came to Bethlehem, that all the city was in a stir over them, and they said, ‘Is this Naomi?‘ 20 And she said to them, ‘Do not call me Naomi (pleasantness), call be Mara (bitterness), for Shaddai has caused it to be very bitter for me. 21 I was full when I left but Yahweh has caused me to return empty. Why do you call me Naomi when Yahweh has testified against me, and Shaddai has afflicted me?‘ 22 So Naomi returned and Ruth the Moabitess her daughter-in-law with her, who had returned from the Plains of Moab; and they had come to Bethlehem at the beginning of the harvesting of barley

B. Unger’s Bible Dictionary: how God revealed Himself to the Patriarchs (Exodus 6:2–3) from root, shadad, “to be strong or powerful; ruin, deal violently with, despoil” – sometimes LXX pantokrator – Jerome in Vulgate translated it omnipotens – rabbinic:. El Shaddai, the Self- Sufficient; other possibility, from Shadah, “to pour forth” … God as the rain-giver, provider

6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6

Naomi Feels Bitter (cont’d)

A. What is the tone of voice – what is implied – by the question, “Is this Naomi?” and the stirring of the city? What attitudes would she encounter?

B. What does Naomi’s request for a change of name reveal about her condition and attitude?

C. What one thing does Naomi seem to forget?

D. Where did they live?

E. What key fact is introduced?

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. The years had gone by, at least 10,

1. Elimelech’s family had not been forgotten

2. Though called a “city,” in our terms of reference, it was a small village

3. A note of incredulity, a note of surprise

4. Implication of a startling contrast between the family that had departed and that which returned

a. A family left, two widow women returned

b. Naomi had more than aged, but showed the marks of hardship

c. Reduced circumstances (came by foot with what they carried)

B. She had everything, now she has nothing

1. Loss of family; loss of independent means (we will see this soon)

2. Lays responsibility on God, on Providence, who now is not doing so

C. At this point, there is no expression of gratitude for Ruth’s fidelity

D. Maybe owned a house or Deuteronomy 15:11 some humble provision would be made. Centuries later another young woman would come into Bethlehem and find a humble lodging.

E. The Barley Harvest; at Passover Exodus 9:31-32, Lev 23:10-14

7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7

Ruth Goes Out to Work – Ruth 2:1-3

A. In these verses we read about

1.Boaz introduced

2.Ruth’s industry

B. What important information do we learn from the introduction of Boaz at this point?

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

1. 1 And Naomi had a kinsman to her husband, a man, a mighty man of wealth of the clan of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz.

2. 2 And Ruth, the Moabitess, said unto Naomi, ‘Let me go, I pray, to the field, that I should gather in ears in order that I may find grace in his eyes [or, “after whomsoever in whose eyes I may find grace”],’ and she said to her, ‘Go, my daughter.‘ 3 And she went, entered and gleaned in the field after the reapers.. And her chance was to happen in the portion of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the clan of Elimelech.

B. Boaz introduced due to his importance to the story as it unfolds; in their circumstances, Naomi would certainly discuss this man with Ruth. Both he and the nearer kinsman were men of substance and this suggests Elimelech had not been a poor man

8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8

Ruth Goes out to Work (Cont’d)

A. Boaz has not yet helped Naomi and Ruth …what reasons could account for this?

B. What facets of Ruth’s character are found here?

C. Leviticus 19:9-10

1.How does Ruth qualify for this provision by God?

2. How do you determine if something is left for gleaning?

D. What do you think of Ruth’s “chancing” on the field of Boaz? What do we learn about God’s grace?

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. Possible reasons

1. Naomi had not asked for help (he was her husband’s relative, not hers; his exalted position)

2. Boaz didn’t know their straitened circumstances (we find him later a kind and generous man)

B. Industrious, enterprising, self-starter; respectful to Naomi, asking permission, Naomi’s response shows their need as well as affection; she is not Khallothay (my daughter-in-law) but Battay (my daughter)

C. Leviticus provision

1. Both needy and foreign

2. When the harvesters have left the field (so to follow after the reapers was a privilege rather than allowed by this provision)

D. Romans 8:28 … the hand of God (these words deny that there was any scheming on the part of either Naomi or Ruth) – El Shaddai, the Almighty (or the Provider) is now setting out to provide for two widows (and for a world of lost sinners)

9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9

Boaz Notices Ruth – Ruth 2:4-7

A. In these verse we learn about

1.The character of Boaz

2.The deportment of Ruth

B. How does Boaz come across in these verses to you: as a younger, older or ancient man?

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. 4 And behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem and said to the reapers, ‘Yahweh be with you;’ and they said to him, ‘May Yahweh bless you.‘ 5 Then Boaz said to his servant, who was set over the reapers, ‘Whose is this damsel?‘ 6 And the servant who was set over the reapers replied and said, ‘She is a Moabitish maiden, who returned with Naomi from the Plains of Moab. 7 and she said, “Let me glean, I pray, and let me gather among the sheaves after the reapers.” And she went and took her stand from the time of morning even until now; and her resting in the house has been little.‘ – ie., she’s been her feet almost all day

B. Remember that the genealogy only lists 4 generations covering the period of the judges which was about 320 years … yet we saw that the way the Bible uses the term ‘begat’ it could omit the names representing some of the intervening generations/ To me – and I am a romantic! – he sounds like an older man (with authority) but also in the prime and vigour of life

10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10

Boaz Notices Ruth (Cont’d)

A. What do we learn about the character of Boaz in these verses?

B. What do you conclude from their respective greetings?

C. The word, “damsel” suggests a servant relationship; what things would kindle Boaz’ interest in asking this question as to who she was?

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. Boaz’ character

1. He took a personal interest in harvest of his land (more of that to come later)

2. Humility and consideration: came to his workers with a blessing (and received the same … may have been just respect or politeness)

3. Was observant, seeing one who was not part of his “gang” and yet was following them (another indication that this went beyond the customary gleaning of the corners of the field, etc)

B. Their greetings

1. Yahweh Immakhem (cf., Immanuel) – the rejoicing that Yahweh had visited His people; expanded, Boaz’ words convey “The Lord be with you, prosper you, and give you health and strength, and preserve you from any disaster.“ (MH)

2. Yahweh bless: the acknowledgement that all the crops came from Yahweh who had punished during the time of famine but had returned to bless His people; “The Lord bless thee, and make our labours serviceable to thy prosperity.“ (MH)

3. They are jointly dependent upon Yahweh’s Providence

C. “Damsel” is the female counterpart of the word, “servant”, which identifies the one whom Boaz is asking this question. The servant had responsibility for who was working in the field. Here was a worker that Boaz did not know. Was she working for him or for someone else? But the word also implies one who is young and of marriageable age. What would she be doing out in the field.

11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11

Boaz Notices Ruth (Cont’d)

A. How well had the young servant carried out his responsibility? What does his answer reveal about himself?

B. What do we learn of Ruth’s character?

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. The servant’s words

1. He had checked out this ‘invader in the fields”

2. Though he did not give her name, he had determined the

3. That he had given permission is implied and shows he knows his master, Boaz, well enough that this would be acceptable to Boaz

B. Ruth

1. She did not take for granted the provision made for those who glean but asked permission

2. She laboured long, continuously and hard — persevering

12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 12

– - – - – slide above, notes below – - – - -

A. Next week

1. Are you beginning to see what brought these two people together?

2. Do you see some of the allegorical lessons on salvation in what is happening?

3. Ruth 2:8—17 – Boaz’ Care for Ruth

from Sunday Bible School - The Beauty Of Ruth - Powerpoint Presentation · Garth Hutchinson via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romanceblessing

Building Up A Tolerance To Love

“Recent research indicates that, in part at least, what we call `falling in love’ can be attributed to the presence in the body of a drug called `phenyl-thylamine,’ that is a form of natural amphetamine. The problem is...we build up a tolerance for this chemical in about two to four years.”

________

Dr. William Dooley and Dr. Clark Riley

from Internet Sermon · John Ewing Roberts via Kerux Sermon and Illustration Database romancemarriagelust

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