19 Sermon Illustrations on Age

“There are in the suburbs of Rome,” says _Cosmos_, “two farms where antique medals are made in large quantities. This would seem to be a singular agricultural product, yet nothing is more exact. The people who devote themselves to this odd industry cause to be swallowed by turkeys coins or medals roughly struck with the effigy of Tiberius or Caligula. After remaining for some time in the bodies of the fowls, the little disks of metal become coated with a remarkable ‘patina.’ If this coating were only the result of the gastro-intestinal voyage, it would be easy to secure it by treating the coins to be aged with dilute hydrochloric acid, for instance. But the mechanical action of the tiny stones contained in the gizzard is added to the purely chemical action of the gastric juice, partially effacing the figures and toning down the hardness of the features. It is to be feared that some of the specimens in our public collections have been obtained by this curious process.”

A man retires and tells his friend he wants to go back to college and get his degree. Friend says, "Why would you want to do that? You'll be 70 years old when you graduate!" Man replies, "I never thought of that - but I'll be 70 no matter what."

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Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen.

Here's this year's [1998] list:

1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980.

2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and did not know he had ever been shot.

3. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

4. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.

5. There has been only one Pope. They can only really remember one president.

6. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.

7. They have never feared a nuclear war. "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie.

8. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up, and Tiananmen Square means nothing to them.

9. Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

10. They never had a Polio shot, and likely do not know what it is.

11. 11. Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been plastic. They have no idea what a pull-top can looks like.

12. Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.

13. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

14. They have never owned a record player.

15. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.

16. Star Wars looks very fake to them, and the special effects are pathetic.

17. There have always been red M&Ms, and blue ones are not new. What do you mean there used to be beige ones?

18. They may have heard of an 8-track, but chances are they probably never have actually seen or heard one.

19. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.

20. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.

21. They have always had an answering machine.

22. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV.

23. They have always had cable.

24. There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA is.

25. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

26. They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.

27. Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.

28. The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.

29. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.

30. Popcorn has always been cooked in a microwave.

31. They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a football player.

32. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

33. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as W.W.I, W.W.II, or even the Civil War.

34. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.

35. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

36. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

37. They never heard the terms: "Where's the beef?," "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "de plane, de plane!"

38. They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. is.

39. The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was.

40. Michael Jackson has always been white.

41. Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.

42. McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

43. There has always been MTV.

44. Gasoline has always cost about a dollar a gallon.

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Another version:

Are You Feeling Old? — If not, consider this:

• This fall’s college freshman class was born after 1980.

• The Iranian hostage crisis occurred before they were conceived.

• They have no memory of a time before MTV.

• “New Wave” is their parents’ musical generation.

• They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era.

• They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

• If they have heard the name “Oliver North,” it was probably as a losing congressional candidate or perhaps in some obscure survey history text’s reference, such as might be made to Huey Long or Teapot Dome.

• Black Monday 1987 is as insignificant to them as the Great Depression.

• Their world has always included AIDS.

• Having not lived through the Disco Scare, they can romanticize the 1970’s.

• They see “Family Ties” as something middle-aged ladies watch.

• Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums and 8 tracks.

• From their earliest years, a camera was something you used once and threw away.

• The oil crisis is history of which they probably know nothing — and why anyone wouldn’t buy a suburban is beyond them.

George Washington was 43 when he drew his sword under the historic

elm at Cambridge as "captain general and commander-in-chief" of the

Colonial forces. He was just the age of Julius Caesar when he took

command of the army in Gaul, of Napoleon when he made the mistake of

his life and started in to conquer Russia, and he was ten years older

than Alexander was when he wept because there were no more worlds to

conquer. Charlemagne was just his age when he overcame Wittikind, the

Saxon chief, and made all Germany Christian, and the "captain general

of the Continentals" was just as old as was Constantine when he

determined to make himself master of the world. He was as old as

Sesostris, the Pharaoh, when he conquered the Hittites and persecuted

the children of Israel; as Hannibal when he gave up the hope of

conquering Rome and left Italy to defend Carthage against Scipio.

By J. Wilbur Chapan, "Present Day Parables."

Scripture: “Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the Lord under Eli. The word of the Lord was rare in those days; visions were not widespread. … Then the Lord called, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’ And he said, ‘Here I am!’” (1 Sam. 3:1, 3-4).

On my way to age 50, I woke up and realized I was hearing this old, familiar story in a different way. For as long as I can remember, when I heard the story of God calling little Samuel while he lived with the old priest, Eli, I always identified with Samuel. I was one of those pastors who heard the voice of God as a youth. While I was still much too young to understand the full implications, God called me to serve him as a leader in his church. Similarly, Samuel’s story is about a boy called by God, a boy far too young to understand the full meaning of that call.

But then one day I was 50, and I realized that I no longer identified with little Samuel. I was starting to identify with aging Eli. Here was old Eli, working in the temple for a lifetime, and had God ever spoken so directly to him? Had God ever awakened him in the middle of the night, calling him by his very own name?

Why had God only spoken to this Samuel, a boarder in the Lord’s house, but not to old, experienced, dedicated Eli, nor any of Eli’s children?

Here I am, now having served the Lord as a pastor for over 30 years. Some little upstart shows up, somebody in his early twenties, telling me that God has spoken to him, telling me that God has called. Why did God not speak directly to me? Why does God insist on speaking to someone half my years?

Here is my church, shrinking in membership. Then there is that new church, that young church on the edge of town. Their building is not nearly so nice as ours. They obviously have a less able and less experienced pastor! And yet they grow. Why would God bless their efforts so profusely?

This story of little Samuel and old Eli becomes a story for those of us in the latter stages of our careers. To serve this God means to let this God be God–sovereign. This God is free to bypass us and go to those less experienced, these young upstarts, who do not have our maturity, experience, and wisdom. In each generation, God calls those whom God calls.

Why does God do this? Think about it. One day when I was young, God called me. One day, a long time ago, I was the young upstart. Now, I am the old, accommodated member of the establishment. To keep his church alive, thank God, the Lord goes to a new generation. Maybe God does this to keep shaking things up. Or maybe he does this to keep proving to us that the church is of God, not of us. God keeps sustaining the church by infusing new life into it–by calling people whom we might not have called.

The problem with being over the hill is that you pick up speed — time flies!

There’s a lot of renewed interest in outlawing guns. After David killed Goliath, I’m sure the Philistines would like to have outlawed rocks! Poor old Goliath — he really had rocks in his head.

Psalm 71:18 (NLT) caught my attention. “Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.” That brings to mind the word “legacy.” What is the legacy that we will leave for others to follow?

I hope we can all leave the legacy of joy and hope. Wouldn’t that be a nice way to be remembered by our family and friends. The legacy of joy and laughter is a great thing to pass on, but the legacy of joy because we have total hope in Jesus Christ is the greatest legacy of all. Read vs 18 again — “Let me proclaim … to all who come after me.”

Joy isn’t always accompanied by hilarity — it’s an inner warm feeling that says, “Thanks’.

Talmage tells the story of a young man who came to a 90 year old man and said to him, "How have you managed to live so long and be so well?" The old man took the youngster to an orchard, and, pointing to some large trees full of apples, said, "I planted these trees when I was a boy, and do you wonder that now I am permitted to gather the fruit of them?" We gather in old age what we plant in our youth. Sow to the wind, and you reap the whirlwind. Plant in early life the right kind of a Christian character, and you will eat luscious fruit in old age, and gather these harvest apples in eternity.

Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is … that I may recover strength, before I go hence, and be no more. — Psalm 39:4, 13.

It may have been at the close of the year that Moses made his plaintive prayer for wisdom to know what to do with his days; and it was in his old age that Jacob stood before Pharaoh and confessed, “Few and evil have the days of the years of my life been.” Yet I do not advise that we end the year on a somber note. If we are good students in the school of life, there is much that the years have to teach us. But the Christian is above all a believer, and the object of his faith makes a mighty difference. Of all persons he should be best prepared for whatever the New Year brings. He has dealt with life at its source. In Christ he has disposed of a thousand enemies that other men must face alone and unprepared. The man who has made God his dwelling place will always have a safe habitation. — Adapted from A. W. Tozer.

My remnant of days

I spend in His praise,

who died the whole world to redeem:

Be they many or few,

my days are His due,

and they all are devoted to Him.

All honor and praise

to the Father of grace,

to the Spirit and Son I return;

The business pursue

He hath bid me to do

and rejoice that I ever was born. — C. Wesley.

On a recent trip to the grocery store, I stopped at the Customer Service counter to pick up pictures I’d left for developing. As I held out my pickup ticket for the clerk, an elderly gentleman placed an empty water container on the counter beside me. The clerk told him he had to go to the back of the line and wait if he wanted his deposit back for the large and cumbersome container.

The gentleman asked if he could leave the container with the clerk and pick up his deposit after he’d done his shopping. She said no, he had to go to the back of the line and wait.

The gentleman was very polite. The clerk was not.

I stepped back from the counter and told the gentleman he could go ahead of me. Miffed at the clerk’s rudeness and full of bravado, I turned to ask the people in line behind me if they would mind. I was sure they wouldn’t.

The strong tone of voice I intended to use came out very weak when I turned and faced the person directly in line behind me. He was a large structure of a man. A good six feet tall, he sported a bandanna on his head, a big bushy beard, tattooed arms the size of rain barrels and a leather vest adorned with large silver chains.

“You don’t mind if I let this gentleman go ahead of us – do you?” I asked rather meekly.

“Not at all. Not at all,” he bellowed. “You go right on ahead young fella.” His tone was so sincere I immediately felt foolish for letting his appearance intimidate me.

In the course of ten whole seconds, the elderly gentleman received his deposit from the clerk and was on his way. Once again, I stepped up to the counter and handed the clerk my pickup ticket.

While she was ringing up my purchase she said, “I don’t know what’s with these old people. They think they can just walk right up to the counter and get served ahead of everybody else.”

I placed both my hands on the counter and looked her straight in the eyes, “You know what’s ‘with’ this particular gentleman? He looks close to eighty, we could all see he had difficulty walking, and you know what? He’s stood in enough lines for one lifetime. He’s put in his time, and as long as there are people who respect his age, he doesn’t have to stand in line anymore.”

“That’s right!” boomed the voice behind me, which sent me two feet off the floor and halfway out of my skin. “That’s right!” he repeated.

I turned around and faced the big man once again. He wasn’t finished speaking. “That young fella’s stood in his fair share of lines. He’s done his time, he has. He’s done his time.”

I laughed and stuck out my hand, “I like your attitude sir.”

The big man gripped my hand, “I like yours too, little lady.”

The clerk’s mind was unreadable, but her face looked pale and pinched as I picked up my pictures and got out of the way for her next customer.

The big man and I were an unlikely pair, appearance wise, but when your heart’s in the right place, the likeliest things are bound to happen.

There are three sure-fire ways to tell when you are getting old. One is that you start repeating yourself. Two is that you start forgetting things, and three is-s-s-s — sorry, I can’t remember.

Memory — what a miracle from God! I can vividly remember my one-room country school teacher and what a Godly example he was. I fondly remember my mother’s shy but ever present smile. I’m sure you can all fill in your own special memories. Isn’t memory one of God’s choice gifts?

God expects us to use our memory as recorded in Psalm 103:2 (niv). “Praise the Lord, O my soul; and forget not all his benefits,” but how soon we do forget. Look back and recount all your benefits from the Lord — the answered prayers. “Ain’t God Good!”

Be grateful to God for your heritage, remembering all those who helped you along the way. Have a good day thankfully walking with him.