Happiness in Christian preaching often relates to the deep joy and contentment found in God's presence and promises, distinct from mere worldly pleasure. Illustrations typically contrast fleeting human opinions with enduring spiritual fulfillment, reflecting themes of joy and blessedness as seen in scriptures like Psalm 16:11 and Philippians 4:4.
May the road rise up to meet you;
May the wind be always at your back;
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
The rains fall soft upon your fields;
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
(An Old Irish Blessing).
Money can buy medicine, but not health.
Money can buy a house, but not a home.
Money can buy companionship, but not friends.
Money can buy entertainment, but not happiness.
Money can buy food, but not an appetite.
Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.
Money can buy a crucifix, but not a Savior.
Money can buy the good life, but not eternal life.
That explains why we are told in this section of the Scriptures that it is God (alone) who is able to supply us "with all things to enjoy." As Seneca, the Roman statesman once said: "Money has never yet made anyone rich." --Charles Swindoll
Tony Campolo tells of a friend who had an adorable 4-year-old daughter. If tryouts were held for a modern-day Shirley Temple, this girl would win.
One night there was a terrible thunderstorm. Loud, lots of lightning. Campolo's friend ran upstairs to see if his daughter was frightened. He found her standing on the window sill, spread-eagled against the glass. He shouted, "What are you doing?"
She turned and happily replied, "I think God is trying to take my picture."
Would that we all felt that good about ourselves.
______________
Tony Campolo, "20 Hot Potatoes Christians Are Afraid To Touch," (Dallas: Word Pub. Co., 1988, p. 23)
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Another version:
A friend of mine has an adorable four-year-old daughter. She is bright, and she is talkative. If tryouts were being held for a modern-day Shirley Temple, I think she would win, hands down.
One night there was a violent thunderstorm. The lightning flashed and the thunder rumbled- it was on of those terrifying storms that forces everyone to stop and tremble a bit. My friend ran upstairs to his daughter's bedroom to see if she was frightened and to assure her that everything would be all right. He got to her room and found her standing on the windowsill, spread-eagled against the glass. When he shouted, "What are you doing?" she turned away from the flashing lightening and happily reported, "I think that God is trying to take my picture."
Why don't most people feel that important -- that good about themselves? Why don't most people like themselves as much as that little girl likes herself? Why are so many people down on themselves, and why do some even hate themselves?
I find that there is not too much correlation between people's circumstances and accomplishments and their self-concepts. I know people who definitely are socially successful, having achieved a significant number of worthwhile things in their lives, and who despise themselves. Contrariwise, I know others who by societal standards have not accomplished much at all, but who think themselves as worthwhile and valuable.
___________
Tony Campolo in John Van Diest, Answers To Life’s Most Perplexing Problems, Multnomah, 1998, p. 166.
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Problem we're talking about is SELF-CENTEREDNESS.
"There is something pathetic about members of a weekend seminar--at least the kind endemic to southern California--in which participants stand in a room and shout over and over, `I like myself, I like myself.' With the enormous emphasis on introspection and `finding yourself' in current pop psychology, many people emerge from therapy self-focused, self-centered, and self-absorbed. One man, whose wife left him a few months ago, went to see a counselor. He says, `After some therapy I now know that Jan lost a wonderful man. I've recently fallen in love with a fantastic person--myself.' Such talk is a little hard to take, but once past the pathetic attempt at self-aggrandizement, one cannot help feeling sorry for this man. At the behest of some modern-day shaman, he has inflated his ego and become very self-centered. The tragedy is that his narcissism, if allowed to run amuck in this fashion, will soon alienate the very people whose love he needs during this crisis." (Alan Loy McGinnis, Confidence: The Art of Being Yourself . [Minneapolis: Augsburg Pub. House, 1987]:16-17)
Rick Perlstein's article titled "Scorched Mirth" in the February '99 issue of CIVILIZATION magazine quotes sociologists' David B. Grusky, and Eric Rice who studied polls on American happiness from the 1970s to the 1990s, finding that people in their twenties are indeed more morose than their counterparts of the past. But they also discovered that all age groups are more disaffected now than they were 20 years ago. According to a paper by the Yale economist Robert E. Lane, the number of Americans calling themselves "very happy" has declined steadily over the past 50 years-- in inverse relation to the GNP. Lane's data on countries around the world suggest that as nations prosper beyond a certain point, they experience diminishing returns of subjective well-being.
Money loses its power to make us happy. Surprised? Writer Perlstein quotes other polls that suggest why. In 1993, Roper Starch Worldwide Inc. asked people what they thought were the "very important" benefits to having money. Fifty-eight percent mentioned freedom; Seventy-eight percent cited security. The last number is significant. Trends in the job market that shuffle people in and out of work whenever the market demands, along with a declining moral standard which has so shaded truth that it is impossible to know who is telling it and who's not, have taught us that we can only earn prosperity at the price of security; what one has gained one may quickly lose.
There is only one source of security-- God. When stock markets fall, wars break out, natural disasters destroy our belongings, governments fail, health deteriorates, and friends forsake us, God is the only place we can find security. The only place we can find God is in the church that He sent His Son to die for. He looks forward to seeing all of us together on Sunday (Hebrews 10).
--church bulletin, Sixth And Izard, Little Rock, AR
“How To Be Happy”
1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
______________
Robert Louis Stevenson
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David Wells with the state of Iowa gives us this tongue-in-cheek description of happiness attributed to an article by Richard P. Bentall in the June 1992 issue of Journal of Medical Ethics.
“Happiness is a Psychiatric Disorder”
Happiness meets all reasonable criteria for a psychiatric disorder. It is statistically abnormal, consists of a discrete cluster of symptoms, there is at least some evidence that is reflects the abnormal functioning of the central nervous system, and it is associated with various cognitive abnormalities; in particular a lack of contact with reality. Acceptance of these arguments leads to the obvious conclusion that happiness should be included in future taxonomies of mental illness, probably as a form of affective (mood) disorder. This would place it on Axis I of the American Psychiatric Association's “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual”. With this prospect in mind, I humbly suggest the following:
Major affective disorder, pleasant type
Once the debilitating consequences of happiness become widely recognized, it is likely that psychiatrists, social workers, and other mental heath professionals will begin to devise treatments for the condition. We can expect the emergence of happiness clinics, and anti-happiness medications in the not too distant future.
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Why do the Bill Gateses and Bonos of the world appear to be so happy? It’s not simply that they have a lot of money – it’s because they’re giving so much of it away, says a new study.
Researchers at the University of British Columbia have proved that spending cash on others is far more satisfying than spending it selfishly. When a group of students was given money and directed to give it away, they reported feeling happier than when they’d kept the cash. The researchers found the same pattern when they surveyed more than 600 U.S. citizens.
Self-reported happiness rates correlated with the amount of money people had given away, not the amount they had earned for spent on themselves. The data “confirmed our hypothesis more strongly than we dared to dream,” social psychologist Elizabeth Dunn tells SCIENCE.
She emphasizes that habitual charity is much better than a one-time donation, for both the giver and the receiver. If giving “becomes a way of living,” she says, “then it can make a lasting difference.”
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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #5777]
I heard of a pastor who was visiting a hospital when the nurse told him about a patient that had just been transferred from a nursing home because her condition was worsting. The nurse said, “Someone really ought to visit her. She is very deformed and her body has been twisted since childhood. She really needs someone to go by and try to cheer her up.”
So the pastor went by to visit her. He always carried around a little booklet that he gave to people to read who were very depressed because it was such a cheerful and uplifting book. He told the woman, “I have something for you. It's a happy book, an uplifting book, an encouraging book, it's a good book. I want you to read it because I believe it can give you strength.” He woman looked at the book he gave her and she responded, “I really ought not to take that book sir.” He replied, “Why not? Have you already read it?” She said, “I have not only read it. I wrote it!”
Friends, our happiness and joy are not dependent upon our physical condition, but upon the Lord and his grace.
-- Mike Minix
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Isn't it ironic that the more we have access to, the further we are from finding the answer to our loneliness? We are like little Andrew surrounded by Christmas gifts. Minutes after the gifts have been torn into, poor Andrew sits staring at the wall, saddened at having exhausted so much in so little time. Likewise, having tasted of every new experience that has come along, we too wonder, like Andrew, where all the promised fulfillment has gone.
Our world has seen many advances that offer the promise of a new day. First, we live in the age of communication. Never before have we had such means to transmit content or create desire. Yet even with such capacities, the walls between races, cultures, and generations still stand.
Second, we live in the age of technology. But it has delivered a bill of goods for which the cost exacted is the loss of peace of mind. Each new invention was supposed to save us time. Yet less time is spent in building relationships while more is invested in the trappings of our 'conveniences.'
Third, medicine has vastly improved our lives, and yet we have lost the definition of life itself. How we have changed! To the ancient of old, said C.S. Lewis, the question was how to conform the soul to reality, and the answer was in virtue and wisdom. But to the contemporary modern, the question is how to reconfigure reality so it conforms to our passions. Some change, isn't it?
Fourth, human sexuality has never been more studied and pandered to in public, yet we have never been more confused about what is right and good. Young minds are exposed to sights and sounds that foster cravings that no human experience can match or placate.
These advances have not been able to soothe the cry of loneliness heard from millions of hearts, have they? If the answer lies not in a computer or a medicine bottle, where can we go? “Every good and perfect gift is from above,” the Scriptures tell us, “coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows” (James 1:17). The God of the Scriptures is the Giver of life. His presence is our consolation. His mercy is our salvation. His glory extends immeasurably beyond all of our faltering answers and fleeting solutions, and yet, His love is extended to each of us personally. Let us not be like little Andrew surrounded by gifts but not knowing joy. Go to the Giver, who alone gives us perpetual wonder and fulfillment.
__________
Copyright © 2003 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.
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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #4275]
A LATE AWAKENING
He always said he would retire When he had made a million clear, And
so he toiled into the dusk From day to day, from year to year.
At last he put his ledgers up And laid his stock reports aside - But
when he started out to live He found he had ALREADY DIED!
Fewer than 10 percent of Americans are deeply committed Christians, says pollster George Gallup, who adds that these people "are far, far happier than the rest of the population." Committed Christians, Gallup found, are more tolerant than the average American, more involved in charitable activities, and are "absolutely committed to prayer." While many more Americans than this 10 percent profess to be Christians, adds Gallup, most actually know little or nothing of Christian beliefs, and act no differently than non-Christians. "Overall," says Gallup, "The Sunday School and religious education system in this country is not working."
Signs of the Times, November 1991, p. 6
Professor Dale Kuehne is a professor of politics at Saint Anselm College in New Hampshire. At least once a semester, Kuehne can count on a certain question always being asked when he teaches a class called “The Politics of Diversity.”
“Professor Kuehne,” a student will say, “are you seriously going to try to persuade us that if we forgo [sex] outside of marriage we can have a fulfilling life, even if that means we never have a sexual relationship?”
Well, that’s a pretty tough sell these days.
Kuehne is the author of a new book, Sex and the iWorld. He says that the traditional world, or tWorld, as he calls it, has been largely supplanted by the iWorld, in which “the immediate desires of the individual have been deemed paramount.” In the iWorld, complete sexual freedom is a given, as long as all parties consent. Sexuality is considered essential to human happiness.
This is why iWorlders are scornful of the biblical view that sex should be reserved for marriage between one man and one woman. What about single people? What about gays in a committed relationship? they ask. Are they to be condemned to lifelong misery?
Even churches have bought into the iWorld belief that sex is essential to happiness. The idea that one cannot have relational fulfillment without sex “has been a largely unquestioned assumption of evangelical psychology, if not theology, for decades,” Kuehne writes.
That’s why many Christians now accept the iWorld teaching that anything that stands in the way of sexual fulfillment must be wrong. God wants us to be fulfilled, they reason; sex is an essential component of relational fulfillment, thus the Bible can’t really mean what it says about restricting sex to marriage.
Well, Christians who accept this idea need to open their eyes — and dig a little deeper in the Word. Scripture teaches that humans are made for relationships, and that we crave intimacy and love more than anything else, Kuehne writes.
For instance, in his teachings about sex and marriage in 1 Corinthians, the apostle Paul makes clear that we can have deeply fulfilling lives without sexual relationships. And some of the richest relationships in the Scriptures are non-sexual ones. David and Jonathan. Jesus and the disciples. Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
Moreover, where biblical writers viewed sexual relations within marriage as a wonderful good, they considered sex itself to be an appetite — something that was potentially enslaving. Tragically, many iWorlders have become enslaved by their appetites.
True intimacy and happiness are found in loving God with all our hearts, souls, and minds, and loving our neighbor as ourselves. The greater our intimacy with God, Kuehne writes, the greater our ability to share that love with others.
For those who think that sex is essential to their happiness, Kuehne has a question: Does the iWorld view of sex and relationship make them happy? The sad truth is that promiscuity inhibits our ability to cultivate the love and intimacy God designed us to enjoy.
Read Sex and the iWorld to learn how to make the case that the happiest people are those who make relationships — not sex — their highest goal. Visit our website, BreakPoint.org, and we’ll show you how to get a copy.
________
Copyright (c) 2009 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
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[Original illustration at this number was moved to HolwickID #16234]
An incident occurred in one of our meetings near Boston, that taught me a great lesson in leading souls to Christ. I can never lose sight of it.
A lady connected with one of the city churches, but residing in that place, found she was not the humble, happy Christian she once was. She came to me, asking how she might obtain anew the joy of salvation; she felt she loved Jesus, but so faintly that the warmth and power of that love were gone. The conflict was long and severe. On one occasion, she said to me:
“My husband has become skeptical. He rejects the Bible. It is of no use to speak to him. I have scarcely any hope of his being converted. But, oh, that I could enjoy the Saviour’s love as I used to!”
At length the desire of her heart was granted, and all the joy of her first love to Jesus was restored to her.
And now, though she had been a Christian, and a kind, careful wife and mother, she seemed almost like another person The false representations of religion were ended. Its sweetness and happiness shone in every feature of her face, gave melody to the tones of her voice, and added a new charm to all she did.
She went about the house singing the songs of Zion. Anything that was not sinful, that would make her husband happier and her home pleasanter, she cheerfully performed, saying but little, however, about the change in her feelings; she did not need to, it was so apparent. Her husband saw it, and compared her present state with her past. Somehow this led him to look into his own heart. The conviction was forced upon him that religion was a reality, and one he could not do without.
Some four days after this change in his wife, I called on him, to learn why he rejected the Bible and religion. I asked him to be frank with me, and tell me if he had no desire to be a Christian.
He replied: “Mr. Earle, I have said nothing about it to my wife; but, sir, I feel I am a lost sinner, and if you will pray for me, I will kneel down with you right here.”
And, pointing to his wife, who was at that moment passing through the room, with the tears on her bright face, he continued: “That woman, my own dear wife, has had more power over me for a few days past than everything else put together. She has been a professor of religion for years, but I knew she did not enjoy religion, and I said if that was all there was in religion, I did not want it. But for the last few days she has looked and acted almost like an angel; and, sir, I cannot stand it; there is a power in her sweet, happy face that melts my heart I cannot withstand the attraction of such a religion.”
And all this because the joy of salvation was restored to the heart of that Christian wife! Oh, the power of Christ’s love when it burns and glows in the heart!
And perhaps some pious wife who reads these pages, has gone alone to the table of our Lord for many long years, just because her love to Jesus has been feeble and faint, and consequently her representation of religion unattractive and false.
Some of these parents have not seen their children converted, for no other reason than that they have not had the joy of salvation filling their hearts and running over in their lives; they are Christ’s own redeemed ones, but do not live as becomes his family, every member of which ought to be a wellspring of joy, pouring streams of gladness into every heart within reach.
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A. B. Earle, from: “Incidents Used ... In His Meetings,” published in 1888
AN ASS, belonging to an herb-seller who gave him too little food and
too much work made a petition to God to be released from his present
service and provided with another master. God, after warning him that
he would repent his request, caused him to be sold to a tile-maker.
Shortly afterwards, finding that he had heavier loads to carry and
harder work in the brick-field, he petitioned for another change of
master. God, telling him that it would be the last time that he could
grant his request, ordained that he be sold to a leather maker. The
Ass found that he had fallen into worse hands, and noting his master's
occupation, said, groaning: "It would have been better for me to have
been either starved by the one, or to have been overworked by the
other of my former masters, than to have been bought by my present
owner, who will even after I am dead take my skin and turn it into
leather."
We should be careful what we pray for. Indeed, this is the main
reason why God doesn't answer all our prayers. If He did, we would
eternally regret our answered prayers. Consequently, we should be
content and grateful with what God gives us.
A BOY put his hand into a pitcher full of filberts. He grasped as
many as he could possibly hold, but when he tried to pull out his
hand, he was prevented from doing so by the neck of the pitcher.
Unwilling to lose his filberts, and yet unable to withdraw his hand,
he burst into tears and bitterly lamented his disappointment. A
bystander said to him, "Be satisfied with half the quantity, and you
will readily draw out your hand."
Instead of attempting to grab too much at life, we should be content
with what God gives us.
An aging king bird made proclamation that on a certain day they should
all present themselves before him, when he would himself choose the
most beautiful among them to be their next king. The Crow, knowing
his own ugliness, searched through the woods and fields, and collected
the feathers which had fallen from the wings of his companions, and
stuck them in all parts of his body, hoping thereby to make himself
the most beautiful of all. When the appointed day arrived, and the
birds had assembled before the aging king, the Crow also made his
appearance in his many feathered finery. But when the aging king
proposed to make him king because of the beauty of his plumage, the
birds indignantly protested, and each plucked from him his own
feathers, leaving the Crow nothing but a Crow.
There are too many people who try to improve their worth and happiness
through cosmetics, jewelry, drugs, alcohol, sex, friends, money,
power, fame, etc. However, One alone can improve your fallen
condition and your search for happiness: Jesus Christ!
I have lost the road to happiness
Does any one know it, pray?
I was dwelling there when the morn was fair,
But somehow I wandered away.
I saw rare treasures in scenes of pleasures,
And ran to pursue them, when, lo
I had lost the path to happiness
And knew not whither to go.
I have lost the way to happiness,
Who will lead me back?
Turn off from the highway of selfishness
To the right-up duty's track!
Keep straight along, and you can't go wrong;
For as sure as you live, I say,
The fair, lost fields of happiness
Can only be found that way.
___________
Ella Wheeler Wilcox., in “Present Day Parables,” by J. Wilbur Chapan
A little boy was offered the opportunity to select a dog for his birthday present. At the pet store, he was shown a number of puppies. From them he picked one whose tail was wagging furiously. When he was asked why he selected that particular dog, the little boy said, "I wanted the one with the happy ending."
If we want to reach out for a life with a happy ending, we have no choice but to accept the living Christ as our Lord and Savior, follow Him daily, and rejoice in the eternal life that awaits us.
Christina Onassis said, "Happiness is not based on money and the greatest proof of that is our family."
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Do you remember Christina Onassis? She is the daughter of billionarie Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis. She said, "Happiness is not based on money and the greatest proof of that is our family!" Consider her family. Her parents divorced in 1960. In 1971 her marriage to a man 27 years her senior lasted 2 months. Her brother died in 1973. Her 1975 marriage lasted 14 months. Her 1978 marriage lasted a few days. Her fourth attempt at marriage also failed. She was only 38 when she committed suicide -- leaving behind an infant daughter.
Perhaps one of the most profound stories on happiness is the old familiar one: A puppy said to a big dog, “I have mastered philosophy. I have learned that the best thing for a dog is happiness, and that happiness is my tail. Therefore, I am chasing it; and when I catch it, I shall have it!”
The old dog replied, “I, too, have judged that happiness is a marvelous thing for a dog, and that happiness indeed resides in my tail. But I've noticed that when I chase it, it keeps running away from me; but when I go about my business, it comes after me.”
- SFJan87
Two brothers Rich and Mike, are complete opposites. Mike is a successful businessman. Rich, on the other hand, takes seasonal jobs at dude ranches, parks and resorts. Mike is always concerned for Rich's welfare and tries to entice him with the “good life.” He sends Rich photos labeled with messages like “My new sound system” or “My new car.” But one day the campaign ended when Mike received a poster from his brother showing a breathtaking view of Wyoming's Grand Teton National Park. On the back was a message from Rich: “My back yard.”
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Comedian Dom DeLuise relates that there was a dark time in his life when nothing made him smile. He stated: “Everything was wrong - life was hopeless, and I was feeling useless.” As Christmas approached, DeLuise's son asked his dad what he wanted for a Christmas present. DeLuise despondently replied, “Happiness - and you can't give it to me.”
When Christmas day came and the family opened their gifts, the boy handed his father a piece of cardboard with the word HAPPINESS scribbled on it. The boy said, “See, pop, I can give you happiness!” DeLuise's depression shattered.
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From the sermon “A Servant's Song” (Preaching, November, December, 1994), pp. 67-68
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian were discussing happiness. “Happiness,” said the Englishman, “Is when you return home tired after work and find your slippers warming by the fire.”
“You English have no romance,” said the Frenchman. “Happiness is having dinner with a beautiful woman at a fine restaurant.”
“You are both wrong,” said the Russian. “True happiness is when you are at home in bed and at 4 a.m. hear a hammering at the door and there stand the secret police, who say to you, 'Ivan Ivanovitch, you are under arrest,' and you say, 'Sorry, Ivan Ivanovitch lives next door.'“
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“It was right that we should...be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again.” (Luke 15:32)
R. Mactavish was gone. I wanted to wait until morning to see if he would come back on his own. But the look on the other family members faces vetoed that idea. So we climbed into the car to begin looking for our stubborn Scottish terrier who was far more interested in being lost than found. As we slowly drove down street after street, calling his name and peering intently into the darkness, even I became sentimental. What if he got hit by a car? What if someone else picked him up? What if we never saw him again? But we found him. And by the time we did, I was as happy as the rest of the family to see him. Even though he was a mess mud-soaked, foul smelling, too dirty to be anywhere but the floor Mac was a sight for sore eyes. In fact, you could say that at that moment all three of us, my wife Diane, my son Ben, and I, appeared to be far happier about finding and being with that dirty dog than we were about being with one another.
We're speeding down the Interstate when suddenly we come upon this RV, pulling a small car behind him. It looked like the little car was actually pushing this big recreational vehicle, but, of course, I knew that couldn't be. The car's license plate was clearly visible - it said, "ME ALSO." That didn't make any sense until I managed to get a glimpse of the license plate on the RV that was pulling that car. It said, "I'M HAPPY." Cute.
I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "As Long As You're Following."
That little car's identity makes no sense if it's not attached to the big vehicle that's taking it where it needs to go. It works as long as the car is following.
Following is exactly what Jesus has commanded those of us who belong to Him to do. His often-repeated command is, "Follow Me." To the extent that we are following the One who's supposed to be in front of us, the happier we are. To the extent we're unhitched and off on our own, we're not very happy. Things work as long as we're following.
Jesus makes that clear in our word for today from the Word of God in John 13:17. In His final hours with His disciples, after pouring out His heart and His instructions for them, He says, "Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." That word "blessed" - "makarios" in the original language of the New Testament - can rightly be translated, "happy."
It isn't knowing Jesus' way of life that will make you blessed and happy, it's doing what He said.
It could be that you've been wondering why your life seems to be off track right now. You've been wounded. You're worrying a lot. You've been wondering about what's wrong or what direction you should go. It could be that your wounds and your worrying and your wondering are because of your wandering - from the way Jesus wants you to be. When you drifted from following what He wanted you to do, your happiness began to turn to unhappiness ... your peace turned to being stressed out ... your confidence to confusion.
And the joy isn't going to return until you make a mid-course correction and get back to doing it Jesus' way. You've been blaming everyone and everything else ... you've been trying to fix everything but yourself. But you're paying the price for not being as close to Jesus as you used to be. And, you know it and He knows it. You've been getting spiritually careless. You've been compromising ... rationalizing instead of repenting.
Jesus said it isn't enough to know what's right ... to believe what's right ... even to teach what's right. What He cares about is you doing what's right. And He knows there are areas of your life where you are not following Him - in your marriage, with your children, with that secret sin, with that wrong relationship, or in the way you've been treating people. Or it may be what you're not doing that's costing you your happiness - you are resisting your Lord in something He's been trying over and over to get you to do.
A follower of Jesus shares his or her Master's joy and peace and confidence - so long as that follower is following. If you've been drifting away from your Leader ... if you've come unhitched from the Source of your joy - it's time to get back to what you know is the happiest place in the world - in the center of the will of God.
________________
Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. 'Practical Answers to Real Life Issues'
The book FALLING BEHIND attempts to resolve one of the defining paradoxes of our age: Why doesn’t increased prosperity and rising standards of living translate into more happiness?
Ultimately, FALLING BEHIND misses the mark, like other similar efforts, because it doesn’t understand where happiness comes from in the first place.
What columnist Robert Samuelson calls the “economic disconnect” is evident in polling data: thirty years ago, 36 percent of Americans said that they were “very happy” and another 53 percent called themselves “pretty happy.”
In 2006, only 32 percent called themselves “very happy” and 55 percent said they were “pretty happy.” Our sense of happiness has barely budged despite increased prosperity and even greater improvements in our standard of living. What’s more, as Samuelson points out, people aren’t any happier during boom times than they are during recessions.
The disconnect between money and happiness is even more pronounced from a global perspective. A few years ago, NEW SCIENTIST magazine asked the residents of 65 countries how happy they were. The survey found that Nigerians, followed by Mexicans, Venezuelans, and Salvadorians, were the happiest people in the world. Obviously, prosperity didn’t play much, if any, role in the happiness of these countries.
The author of FALLING BEHIND, Cornell economist Robert Frank, argues that while increased prosperity can’t make you happy, it can, ironically, contribute to unhappiness. Rising standards of living also raise our expectations. Since we can never fully meet our expectations, we are always going to be less than happy, and our attempts to “keep up with the Joneses” leave us feeling unsatisfied.
While Frank’s argument makes sense, it doesn’t tell us anything about what makes people happy in the first place. Thus, it can’t tell us why increased prosperity doesn’t translate into increased happiness.
To understand that, you need to talk to someone other than an economist, such as your spouse or a friend at church. Literally. The National Opinion Research Center found that married couples are two-and-one-half times more likely to call themselves “very happy” than divorced people. A similar difference exists between married people who attend church weekly and single people who don’t.
Results in other countries are similar to those in the United States: A survey of Australians found that “Christians are happier than atheists and more generous . . .” The results led the researcher to conclude that the “decline of the significance of church life in Australia” has led to a loss in the “fabric of community well-being.”
The role that faith and family play in our happiness suggests a possible answer to the paradox I mentioned: The same period that saw rising standards of living also saw a weakening of family life and increased secularization.
While we were getting richer materially, we were becoming poorer in the things that most contribute to our happiness. That’s why we don’t feel any better about ours lives.
Twenty-five hundred years ago Isaiah asked the question: “Why spend your labor on what does not satisfy?” The question still applies. That’s because we, like the people he first asked, have forgotten where happiness comes from.
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Copyright (c) 2007 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #7563]
You don’t become happy by pursuing happiness. It is always a by-product, never a primary goal. Happiness is a butterfly - the more you chase it, the more it flies away from you and hides. But stop chasing it, put away your net and busy yourself with other, more productive things than the pursuit of personal happiness, and it will sneak up on you from behind and perch on your shoulder.
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Harold Kushner, When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough (New York: Simon and Shuster, 1986), 23.
Ring The Bell
Read: 2 John 1-6
I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. -- 2 Corinthians 2:8
The story is told of a king who had a silver bell placed in a high tower of his palace early in his reign. He announced that he would ring the bell whenever he was happy so that his subjects would know of his joy.
The people listened for the sound of that silver bell, but it remained silent. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and months into years. But no sound of the bell rang out to indicate that the king was happy.
The king grew old and gray, and eventually he lay on his deathbed in the palace. As some of his weeping subjects gathered around him, he discovered that he had really been loved by his people all through the years. At last the king was happy. Just before he died, he reached up and pulled the rope that rang the silver bell.
Think of it -- a lifetime of unhappiness because he didn't know that he was warmly loved and accepted by his loyal subjects.
Like that monarch, many lonely souls live out their days without the joy of knowing they are loved and appreciated by others. Do you know people who need an encouraging word? If so, tell them how much they mean to you. It may be just what's needed to bring joy into their lives. -- RWD
Someone gave me a cheering word
Of which I was in need,
And faith was bolstered once again
By just that tiny deed. – Sheldon
The human spirit rings with hope at the sound of an encouraging word.
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. “Guess what Mum,” he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me: “I've been chosen to clap and cheer!”
-- unknown
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
__________________
For those of you who do not believe that Max Ehrmann is the author of this work, please look at the information on this website:
http://www.mnsi.net/~jvidler/des-author.html
Subject: Desiderata authorship
Date sent: Thu, 11 Jun 98 21:02:13 -0500
From: mchb
As I was searching the net to find out about Desederata, I came across several web pages with the poem. There seemed to be much confusion about the authorship and copyright. I thought I sould share what I have found (although you may already have knowledge of this information).
"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945). In 1956, the rector of Baltimore's St. Paul's Church anthologized the poem in a mimeographed pamphlet of inspirational writings for his congregation. Someone reprinting it later, separated from its original credit, erroneously described it as having been found in old St. Paul's Church dated 1692, misinterpreting the church letterhead. The year 1692 is in fact the founding date of St. Paul's Church and has nothing to do with the poem.
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If nothing else, this year's presidential campaign confirms that politicians will promise just about anything to get elected. In both major parties, leadership and vision have given way to the politics of pandering.
Well politicians have always made promises to get elected. But why do we continue to let them do it? Why do we encourage this kind of campaigning?
Basically, many people are looking to government to make them happy. But there's the rub: the underlying belief that happiness is a matter of getting everything you want; that is, happiness as wish-fulfillment.
Believe it or not, the most penetrating critique of this state of political affairs may be found, not on the editorial page, or in our pulpits, but on the Big Screen. The film I'm thinking about is the recently released Bedazzled, a remake of the 1967 classic.
By reviving this classic myth of wish fulfillment, Bedazzled offers a surprisingly sharp critique of the modern pursuit of happiness.
The film introduces a love-sick technical-support representative named Elliot. Elliot's good-hearted, but extremely socially awkward. When his attempts to attract a co-worker (Allison) fall flat, Elliot exclaims that that he "would give anything to have that girl in [his] life."
Well, at that moment the Devil, in the form of a beautiful woman, appears. She offers Elliot everything he could ever want -- in exchange for his soul. In this respect, of course, Bedazzled is a clear adaptation of the classic Faust myth, as told in Christopher Marlowe's play, Dr. Faustus. Faust, you may recall, sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for absolute knowledge. Nothing less would satisfy him.
But unlike Bedazzled, Dr. Faustus is a grave and sobering tale -- one ending with Faustus' eternal damnation. Perhaps that's why Bedazzled, a comedy, weaves in another classic myth -- Aladdin and the Magic Lamp.
You see, the Devil doesn't just offer Elliot his heart's desire -- she grants him seven wishes. But when Elliot signs over his soul, he doesn't exactly get what he bargained for.
The Devil twists Elliot's wishes in malicious ways. For example, when Elliot wishes to be rich and powerful, she turns him into a Colombian drug lord.
Well, Elliot doesn't have to use up all seven wishes to see that he's made a bad deal. He soon realizes that having it all still doesn't make him happy. What's more, he learns that getting what you want sometimes has some undesirable strings attached.
Now, Bedazzled is not a good film, and I don't recommend you see it. In its attempts to be humorous, it employs cheap vulgar gags and presents a New Age view of good and evil. But at a basic level, the film does recognize that happiness is about much more than mere wish-fulfillment.
What? Hollywood getting something right?
Sure, even pre-Christian cultures (like ancient Greece) recognized that happiness is not a matter of circumstances. The ancient Greeks, for example, believed that happiness is about the character of our souls -- which is, of course, what Christians believe.
While I don't recommend you see Bedazzled, popular culture powerfully shapes the thinking of our nation, and we've got to understand its messages. So when your friends see a film like this and talk about it, as they will, you can be sure that they get its real point: that wish-fulfillment, the things so attractive in this world, doesn't add up to happiness.
True happiness is nothing less than peace in the human soul -- something they'll find only in Christ.
For further reading:
Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics
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Copyright (c) 2001 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
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HOW happy is he born and taught
That serveth not another's will;
Whose armour is his honest thought
And simple truth his utmost skill!
Whose passions not his masters are,
Whose soul is still prepared for death,
Not tied unto the world with care
Of public fame, or private breath;
Who envies none that chance doth raise
Or vice; Who never understood
How deepest wounds are given by praise;
Nor rules of state, but rules of good:
Who hath his life from rumours freed,
Whose conscience is his strong retreat;
Whose state can neither flatterers feed
Nor ruin make oppressors great;
Who God doth late and early pray
More of his grace than gifts to lend;
And entertains the harmless day
With a well-chosen book or friend:
-This man is freed from servile bands
Of hope to rise, or fear to fall;
Lord of himself, though not of lands;
And having nothing, yet hath all.
The Harvard classics, edited by Charles W. Eliot. English Poetry I: From Chaucer to Gray. Vol. XL. The Harvard Classics. New York: P.F. Collier & Son, 1909-14; Bartleby.com, 2001. Vol. 40, of 51 www.bartleby.com/40/. 6.25/02.
Published April 27, 2001 by Bartleby.com; c 2001 Copyright Bartleby.com, Inc.
Contrary to what we might expect, the Bible addresses pleasure possibly far more than it does the issue of pain. Solomon’s wrestling with the futility of pleasure is recorded in Ecclesiastes. He lamented:
I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven
during the few days of their lives.
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no
pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the
reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands
had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was
meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing, was gained under
the sun.
Does it not surprise you that after years of experimenting and indulging, Solomon said it amounted to nothing?
Solomon’s was not just a harem-filled world of sensuality; he was an artistic genius who penned thousands of proverbs and songs. We miscast him if we forget that he had an immense creative capacity.
Sustaining Solomon’s very thought, psychologists Frank Minirth and Paul Meier say this:
[We] are convinced that many people do choose happiness but still
do not obtain it. The reason for this is that even though they
choose to be happy, they seek for inner peace and joy in the
wrong places. They seek for joy in sexual prowess but end up
with fleeting pleasures and bitter long-term disappointments.
They seek inner fulfillment by obtaining positions of power....
but they remain unfulfilled. I have had millionaire businessmen
come to my office and tell me they have big houses, yachts...
nice children, a beautiful mistress, an unsuspecting wife, secure
corporate positions -- and suicidal tendencies. They have
everything this world has to offer except one thing -- inner
peace and joy. They come to my office as a last resort, begging
me to help them conquer the urge to kill themselves.
This is a difficult fact to accept when one has not lived it. Yet this ought to cause us to stop and take note of the fact that where unbridled pleasure abounds there is greater need to find life’s overarching purpose.
It is purpose that is prior and pleasure that must be in keeping. And let us be sure that if the purpose is wrong, then pleasure gets wrongheaded too. That is why, we must remember, meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. Have you determined life’s purpose yet? God offers that purpose, and pleasure must not violate that purpose.
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Copyright © 2002 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.
Have you pondered the possibility that God may have made pleasure such that the closer one gets to legitimate pleasure, the closer one gets to the heart of God?
C. S. Lewis gave us this perceptive hint in his book, The Screwtape Letters. We read in the exchange of letters between a senior devil and the junior devil being coached how to befuddle a man considering God. "Keep him from going over to the Enemy," was the senior's charge to the young imp.
Some days later the junior devil gave the grim report that he had lost the man to the other side. "Could you not have seduced him?" roared the senior devil.
"No," came the reply, "because he did two things that took him away from us. First, everyday he took a walk, and also read good books. And the more he did that, the enemy seemed to draw him closer. "Ah that's where you made your mistake," said the senior devil. "You should have had him take a walk for exercise, not for pleasure. You should have had him read a book not for the goodness of it but to quote it to others. You see, by not distracting him from the sheer enjoyment of good things, you brought him closer to the voice of the enemy."
What a thrilling insight from Lewis! We have become so conditioned to a morbid interpretation of the Christian life that we have robbed ourselves of the sheer delight and pleasure that God has made possible for us. The closer we get to legitimate pleasures the closer we are to God. In fact, all legitimate pleasure is a gift from God. Receive it with thanks, dear friend, and draw near to the Author of Joy.
May I offer one more hint as we bring this series on a philosophy of pleasure to a close?
In the biblical teaching we observe that worshipping God culminates and unifies the breadth of our experience. Worship of God is what ultimately binds the various inclinations of the heart and gives them full expression. This is where life and enjoyment converge and from here all affections emerge. That is why the Bible says that our heavenly father seeks that we worship Him in spirit and in truth. As one writer puts it: In my glorifying of God, I find my true happiness. He is the author of joy, and He seeks to share that with you. That is why C. S. Lewis titled his Christian conversion: Surprised by Joy.
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Copyright © 2002 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.
Evangelicals are the most conservative, most satisfied, most spiritually inclined and least stressed of all U.S. adults, according to a poll by the Barna Research Group, while those who claim to be atheists and agnostics are more stressed out, more lonely and less satisfied with their lives.
"The more deeply committed a person is to evangelical Christianity, the more at ease they report being with their life circumstances," said George Barna of the California-based research organization. "On the other hand, individuals who are indifferent or hostile to all faith systems are notably less relaxed and fulfilled with life."
The study, released Aug. 26, was based on telephone interviews this year with more than 3,000 randomly sampled adults in the 48 continental states.
Researchers divided the survey into five faith segments in order to explore the relationship between faith views and self-descriptions. The five segments included evangelical Christians, non-evangelical born-again Christians, notional Christians, adults affiliated with a non-Christian faith, and atheists and agnostics.
The study found that just less than 7 percent of the respondents claimed to be evangelical Christians, and of that 7 percent, 99 percent said they were "happy." The Barna news report noted that "these individuals have become a political lightning rod and are routinely caricatured by the media" for their conservative views. Even so, 91 percent of evangelical Christians reported they were satisfied with their present life.
Of all five groups, evangelicals were least likely to say they are lonely, in serious debt or stressed out. The poll found 98 percent of them to be concerned about the moral condition of the country, though only 54 percent said they were worried about the future.
The group classified as non-evangelical born-again Christians were those who had accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior and believe they will experience eternal life because they have sought and received his forgiveness, but who do not share other central theological beliefs of evangelicals. One-third of the adults surveyed claimed to be non-evangelical born-again Christians.
Of that group, 73 percent described themselves as "deeply spiritual." They also listed themselves as concerned about the moral condition of the country and "absolutely committed to Christianity." Even so, the group was indistinguishable from non-Christians and nominal Christians in terms of stress, debt or addictions.
Nearly four of every 10 adults surveyed classified themselves as notional Christians, which means they consider themselves to be Christian but either do not have a personal commitment to Jesus Christ or do not believe that they will experience eternal favor with God based solely on his grace and mercy.
Notional Christians were most concerned about the future and the moral state of the nation, but their faith ties seemed to make little difference in relation to stress, debt, addictions, happiness or life satisfaction. They were also tied with atheists and agnostics in being the most lonely.
One of every eight adults surveyed said they are associated with faith groups other than Christianity. Of those, 57 percent described themselves as deeply spiritual. They were also among the least likely to be concerned about the future or the moral condition of the United States.
Atheists and agnostics comprised less than 8 percent of the adults surveyed and were the most likely to be stressed out, concerned about the future and lonely. Only 4 percent described themselves as politically conservative, and 71 percent claimed to have traditional or family-oriented values.
"The data suggest that the more deeply committed to Christianity a person is, the more likely they are to experience greater self-confidence, peace and fulfillment," Barna said.
The maximum margin of error for the survey was 3 percentage points at the 95 percent confidence level.
The Barna Research Group is an independent marketing research company located in southern California that has been studying cultural trends related to values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors since 1984.
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The Way To Happiness
Read: Psalm 34:1-14
Those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. --Psalm 34:10
Pathways that seem to be marked This Way To Happiness are all over the landscape of our culture. Some people travel the money path. Others follow the way of entertainment. Still others head down the route of power or self-gratification.
The problem with those roads is that they are all dead ends and lead to frustration. The only way to happiness is the course God has clearly outlined in His Word.
God's route to joy is found in Psalm 34. In just 14 verses, David charts a course that, when followed, leads to all the advantages we need in this world--advantages that can be ours no matter if we are rich or poor, healthy or sick, famous or unknown. The way to happiness is marked by these signs:
Praising God: "My soul shall make its boast in the Lord" (v.2).
Seeking God: "I sought the Lord, and He heard me" (v.4).
Fearing God: "Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!" (v.9).
Living for God: "Depart from evil and do good" (v.14).
Happiness comes from going God's way. Traveling other paths will take you on a long journey to nowhere. --JDB
Now none but Christ can satisfy,
None other name for me;
There's love and life and lasting joy,
Lord Jesus, found in Thee. --McGranahan
To find true happiness, trust and obey God's directions.
Better Than Happiness
Read: Galatians 5:16-26
The fruit of the Spirit is ... joy. --Galatians 5:22
Mark was 21 and dependent on drugs. Finding happiness was his big goal in life, a goal that had eluded him. Once, while talking with our family, his frustration erupted: "Look, all I want in life is happiness. I want to feel happy. Is that asking too much?"
Sadly, Mark was asking far too little of life. What he really was seeking but hadn't realized was not happiness but joy. He couldn't accept that real joy is a fruit of something, or Someone, much greater than happiness. He came very close to Jesus Christ--close enough to taste the life that results in the joy he so deeply craved. But eventually he walked away, only to remain unhappy.
According to Bible scholar Ian Barclay, "Happiness is not a biblical word at all. It is derived from the root to happen. Clearly, what happens to us will affect our happiness." Joy, on the other hand, is a fruit of God's Spirit and is not affected by good or bad happenings. Joy is not dependent on our circumstances. It is dependent, as we ourselves need to be, on God Himself who dwells within us.
We should desire to have this joy in our lives, without chasing after it. Let's live and walk in the Spirit so that the fruit of joy will naturally burst forth. --JEY
Because life's circumstances change,
Our happiness may not remain;
But if we're walking with the Lord,
Our inner joy He will sustain. --Sper
Happiness depends on happenings; joy depends on Jesus.
The common belief that people who make more money are happier is mostly an illusion, according to a study appearing in the June 30, 2006, issue of the journal “Science.”
“People with above-average income are relatively satisfied with their lives but are barely happier than others in moment-to-moment experience, tend to be more tense, and do not spend more time in particularly enjoyable activities,” the study led by two Princeton University professors found. “Moreover, the effect of income on life satisfaction seems to be transient.”
Researchers examined data gleaned from a 2004 study and a 2005 study of working women in Texas and Ohio and discovered that higher income played a relatively small role in people’s daily happiness. They limited the studies to women because they wanted to use a homogeneous group, a Princeton news release said.
“We argue that people exaggerate the contribution of income to happiness because they focus, in part, on conventional achievements when evaluating their life or the lives of others,” researchers wrote.
Women who participated in the study were asked to report the percentage of time they spent in a bad mood the previous day and to predict how much time people with certain income levels spend in a bad mood. The respondents expected women who earned less than $20,000 a year to spend 32 percent more of their time in a bad mood than they expected people who earned more than $100,000 a year to spend in a bad mood.
“In actuality, respondents who earned less than $20,000 a year reported spending only 12 percent more of their time in a bad mood than those who earned more than $100,000,” the study found, according to the news release. “So the effect of income on mood was vastly exaggerated.”
Furthermore, the study incorporated results from a nationwide Bureau of Labor Statistics survey which said people with higher incomes devote relatively more of their time to work, shopping, childcare and other obligatory activities. People with higher incomes were found to spend less time on activities such as socializing or watching television, which are often deemed more leisurely.
Money does not play a significant role in day-to-day happiness, Alan Krueger, a professor of economics at Princeton and an author of the study, told The Washington Post. Though money can purchase possessions, it does not usually abolish the most basic struggles common to people today -- concerns about children, relationship problems and job stress.
“People grossly exaggerate the impact that higher incomes would have on their subjective well-being,” Krueger told The Post.
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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #15907]
Is happiness truly attainable? Truly, it is a question many have sought to answer. It has been debated in philosophy halls, whispered about at slumber parties, promised in innumerable marketing campaigns. And our countless approaches to pursuing happiness are as diverse as our many definitions of the word. Moreover, the attainability of happiness is intimately connected to our answer to another question: What is the source of your greatest enjoyment in life?
That is, there is a connection between one's worldview and one's capacity to experience happiness. Armand Nicholi, who is a professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard University, agrees — the connection is profound. [1] In a fascinating comparison of the life and work of Sigmund Freud and C.S. Lewis, Nicholi observes each cultural giant, both recognized for the remarkable accuracy with which he observed human emotion and experience. And yet, each man defined and experienced happiness in strikingly different manners, through abundantly different worldviews.
Freud's experience and understanding of happiness emerges as fundamental to his materialist understanding of the world, observing happiness to be, “a problem of satisfying a person's instinctual wishes.” [2] Consequently, the possibility of attaining happiness was met with pessimism — for he recognized the human appetite never to be fully satisfied. And he is right, isn't he? Happiness, defined in such terms, is problematic indeed. In fact, we know that money can't buy happiness, yet we feel endlessly compelled to fulfill the longing. And while during the last four decades, the average U.S. citizen's buying power doubled, studies report that the average American is not any happier, but in fact, less happy than reported in studies conducted forty years earlier. Sadly, Freud's life reflected his view of life, his definition of happiness. His letters were increasingly filled with pessimism and depression, even mentioning drug use as the only effective mood lifter.
What makes C.S. Lewis a fascinating point of comparison is that like Freud, he too, was intensely pessimistic about the possibilities of happiness early in life. And yet as emphasized by many biographers and close friends, his life was profoundly transformed in his early thirties, following a dramatic change in worldview. Through an entirely un-materialistic worldview, Lewis observed, “What does not satisfy when we find it, was not the thing we were desiring.”(3) As he approached the Christian worldview, Lewis thought he was coming to a place, and found instead that he came to a Person. In fact, it was the joy of finding a Person that first surprised him — a joy that marked his life even during times of pain and loss — the joy of knowing Christ to be the Source of all he longed for.
What, dear friend, is your greatest source of enjoyment in life? The psalmist writes of God, “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” (Psalm 16:11) Truly, there is a connection between our capacity for happiness and our understanding of life. When life is rooted in the reality of God, it is filled with the joy of knowing and seeing the transforming love of a Person — Jesus Christ — who stands and calls you nearer, that your joy may be complete. Indeed, He is the Source of all we long for.
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1. Armand Nicholi, The Question of God, (The Free Press: New York, 2002).
2. Ibid, 100.
3. C.S. Lewis, Pilgrim's Regress, (Eerdmans: Grand Rapids, 1992), 123.
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Copyright © 2003 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.
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July 28, 1727: Moody, stiff young preacher Jonathan Edwards marries Sarah Pierrepont, a lively 17-year-old. The union proved happy and produced 11 children, six of whom were born on Sundays. This caused a bit of a scandal, because it was believed children were born the same weekday they were conceived. Nonetheless, the marriage was admired by many, including George Whitefield, who declared, "A sweeter couple I have not seen"
"An individual's highest fulfillment, greatest happiness, and widest usefulness are to be found in living in harmony with His (God's) will."
-- John D. Rockefeller, Jr.
If only happiness were as contagious as the common cold! Don't keep looking for happiness, give it and it will come to you. Happiness is not a station you arrive at but the way you travel. King George V of England said, “The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes but in liking what one has to do.”
It isn't your position that makes you happy or unhappy; it's your disposition. (Reflections)
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Introductory sermon to series on Beatitudes. Ecclesiastes 2:24-26
ARE YOU HAPPY?
==============
I. Our expectations in life.
A. One sociologist's observation.
B. It is the goal of our whole culture.
C. Yet many are miserable.
II. Meaning of "blessed." #2482
A. Equivalent to "happy"?
B. Bible's view.
1) Blessedness is not based on human emotions.
2) It is based on what God thinks of us.
III. Earned or reflected?
A. Some think you must gain these qualities in order to be saved.
B. Beatitudes are intended for those who are already disciples.
IV. Future hope or present reality?
A. Both are true.
B. Neither are guaranteed.
C. Are you his?
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
Frederick Keonig
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We are entering into the most wonderful time of the year. Many of us are planning our Christmas vacations or shopping for Christmas toys. Our families join together to decorate trees and houses with bright lights and ornaments. We will attend Christmas parties and celebrate the season with friends. Many will visit a church for the first time this year. And the entire world joins together to celebrate this special season.
It is a time of joy.
But what is joy? "Joy" is a peculiar word. In the dictionary, the word is defined as, "The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune." But how does the Bible explain joy? Is joy truly tied to our circumstances, like the dictionary describes? Can we experience joy only as we experience "well-being, success, or good fortune?"
The Bible teaches us that true joy can live in our hearts despite external pressures and adverse circumstances. As we study the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus, we realize that she experienced joy at the prospect of her unexpected pregnancy. In fact, she faced external pressures and adverse circumstances. Who would believe that this was a divine birth? Who would believe that she had never known a man? After all, she was pregnant. What would Joseph think? Mary faced adverse circumstances. But what did she experience as the news came that she would bear Jesus? She experienced joy! Mary said, "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word!" Mary experienced joy in trying times and so can we. How does this happen?
First, we avoid tying our joy to external circumstances. Biblical joy goes beyond the dictionary's definition of joy. Biblical joy is not bound to external circumstances. Mary's joy was not tied to the hardships she would face during her pregnancy. Her joy was not tied to everyone in Nazareth embracing her news. Her joy was not tied to external circumstances. Our joy is fickle if we attempt to tie it to our circumstances because our circumstances constantly change.
Second, we attach our joy to an eternal perspective. If we attach our joy to God and his work, then we know that we are moving in the right direction. This is how Mary lived her life: she attached her joy to God's work. In this, she experienced true joy in life. She saw God's work in the unnatural, invisible and unusual in her life. As she lived in expectancy of God's work, she experienced joy. As we attach our joy to the Lord's work in our lives, we will experience a deep, abiding joy.
God loved us so much that he sent Jesus to the world so that we might experience connection with God and joy on earth. This is the season for joy. Our families have the opportunity to look beyond our circumstances and experience true joy in life: the kind of joy that lies beyond external circumstances and is tied to the Lord and his work. Let's experience joy during this most wonderful time of the year.
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Like many pastors, I keep a few trophies of accomplishment on display for the world to see, but out back are truckloads of broken dreams. Until reading this book, I considered those dreams trash. But according to Crabb, in my piles of pain, which include a broken engagement, a failed church plant, and a painful rejection by a group of believers I loved and tried to shepherd, God had been at work. Amid each of these broken dreams came my times of deepest yearning for God.
A group of friends and I were discussing the book at a party. One woman, eyes welling up, said, "If these things are true, maybe my life hasn't been wasted after all." She didn't know that I had penciled a similar sentiment in my copy.
In SHATTERED DREAMS, Crabb offers a painful yet insightful exposition of the life of Naomi from the book of Ruth. He writes, "Happy people rarely look for joy. Their central concern is to keep what they have. They haven't been freed to pursue a greater dream. In his SEVERE MERCY, God takes away the good to create an appetite for the better." That is frightening for those of us who secretly believe God owes us exemption from the pain of life.
Scarier still is Crabb's insight into the unexplained phenomenon so many have experienced - an unresponsive God. In our time of greatest need, when we cry out for him, God is nowhere to be found.
"God's restraint has a purpose," claims Crabb. "Only in the agony of His absence, both in the absence of blessings and in the felt absence of His Presence, will we relax our determined grasp of our empty selves enough to appreciate His purposes."
Hard thoughts for soft minds like ours. Our churches are full of people Crabb describes this way: "Satan's masterpiece is not the prostitute or the bum. It is the self-sufficient person who has made life comfortable, who is adjusting well to the world and likes living here, who longs only to be a little better-and a little better off-than he already is."
We want life to be easier. God wants it to be better.
I've found release and hope in knowing that God is using my shattered dreams, that he is answering my, "Why?"
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Ed Rowell is a teaching pastor at The People's Church in Franklin, Tennessee
Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc./LEADERSHIP Journal.
LEADERSHIP, Fall 2001, Vol. 23, No. 4, Page 119
Loving couples: In a world where 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, you can't help but notice them. There they are, finishing each other's sentences or laughing in some dusky corner of a Chinese restaurant. They seem so wonderfully in sync, and they make the work of being a couple seem effortless. Of course, no intimate relationship ever is, especially once you factor in life's built-in pressures, like work deadlines, laundry, and your daughter's orthodontist appointments.
But, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., Redbook Online's resident sex-and-relationships expert, there are certain core values that make some marriages more intimate and resilient than others. You could probably predict the list: trust, mutual respect, commitment, and a strong sense of "we" in the relationship. What is surprising, experts point out, is that when you ask loving husbands and wives about the key to their devotion, over and over you'll hear the same things, specific habits that mirror these values. Learning these secrets can make your marriage closer too.
1. THEY USE TERMS OF ENDEARMENT
Sure, you may find it cloyingly sweet when you overhear other couples talking like 2-year-olds, but endearments are actually a sign of a healthy rapport.
"Pet names take you back either to the happy childhood you had or the one you wish you had," says Manhattan-based family therapist Carolyn Perla, Ph.D. "They signal a safe, supportive environment." Also, these days, when we're stretched to the limit trying to juggle jobs and kids, "pet names give us the chance to let down our guard, to be vulnerable and childlike. And they make us feel close to one another." These same feelings of intimacy can also come from using a special tone of voice with each other, sharing silly "inside jokes," or pet-naming your spouse's intimate body parts. The point is to connect with some private message system that's meaningful to you alone, as a couple -- not to the outside world. "This type of playfulness is a statement that you're feeling comfortable with each other and with the relationship," says Dr. Perla.
2. THEY DO STUFF TOGETHER
When that pheromone-crazy feeling of falling in love passes and happy couples no longer spend all day in bed, they look outward. They start businesses, refinish the attic, or take up cooking together.
Of all the variables in a relationship -- from commitment to communication -- the amount of fun couples have together is the strongest factor in determining their overall marital happiness, according to a landmark study by Howard Markman, Ph.D., codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. Time spent playing together, says Dr. Markman, is an "investment in the relationship"; it provides a relaxed intimacy that strengthens the bond between two people. So even if your life is impossibly frantic, make the time for play. And do all you can to eliminate distractions. Leave the kids with a sitter, ditch the beeper and cell phone. The activity doesn't have to be anything elaborate or costly. Exercising together, browsing in antiques stores, or renting a classic movie can help bring the two of you closer.
3. WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THEY DON'T CALL MOM OR DAD
The first task facing all young couples is separating from their families of origin, points out San Francisco-area-based family researcher Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. This doesn't mean you shouldn't go home for the holidays. But if there's a crisis over whether to have a second child or relocate for a new job, or even if there's good news about a big raise or the results of a medical test, the couple should talk about it together first before dialing Mom. "You wouldn't believe how many people who are getting divorced say to me, 'She was never mine,' or 'His mother always came first,'" Dr. Wallerstein observes.
4. THEY STAY CONNECTED TO THEIR PARENTS
This doesn't contradict No. 3: You can talk with your mom every day and still be clear about where your attachment to her ends and your love for your mate begins.
"Staying connected to parents, siblings, cousins, and the like can be excellent for a marriage because it gives a sense of family continuity," says Dr. Greer. "It generates positive feelings, especially when you incorporate your spouse into that family. You're sharing that part of you with each other."
5. THEY DON'T NICKEL-AND-DIME ABOUT CHORES
It's no secret that most wives continue to do more in the housekeeping and child-rearing departments than their husbands. Still, when partners become double-entry bookkeepers, adding up every dish washed and every diaper changed, they may be headed for trouble.
"Most couples think they should strive for a relationship that's 50-50," observes Dr. Perla, "but the fact is, they should each give 150 percent. In good relationships, couples give everything they can. They don't nickel-and-dime each other, and they respect that each person gives different things."
6. THEY FIGHT CONSTRUCTIVELY
There's fighting and then there's fighting. When couples start yelling and throwing things, when they dredge up every single complaint they've ever had (or "kitchen-sinking," as marital experts typically call it), you can be sure that they won't be celebrating their silver anniversary together. "Studies show that the way couples handle conflict is the most important factor in determining whether or not they stay together," observes Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Vermont. "Happy couples have learned the art of constructive arguing," says Dr. Markman, whose research has demonstrated that it's possible to predict whether or not a couple will divorce after watching them argue for 10 or 15 minutes. In strong marriages, he says, the partners take control of their disagreements by establishing ground rules. They may, for example, call a mutually agreed-upon time-out if the conflict is escalating and unproductive, agreeing to continue the discussion after a cooling-off period. They also truly listen to each other and won't prematurely try to solve the problem before they've heard each other out. Above all, no matter how angry they get, they don't resort to name-calling and insults -- key danger signs, says Dr. Markman.
7. THEY GIVE EACH OTHER GIFTS
Couples who are deeply connected often give each other presents or write little notes, says Thomas Moore, Ph.D., best-selling author of Care of the Soul. What they're doing is preserving the rituals, and the magic, of their courtship.
The gift should carry no strings. Sarah sometimes comes home from work to find that her husband has prepared a candlelight dinner. "But it's not set up to be a prelude to sex," Sarah says laughingly. "John does it because he wants me to feel loved."
8. THEY NEVER LOSE THEIR SENSE OF HUMOR
Humor, as many psychotherapists have observed, is the Krazy Glue that keeps a couple together. When a couple can no longer laugh together, Dr. Moore says, it's a signal that the soul has gone out of their marriage and they are headed for trouble.
But Dr. Moore is quick to point out that lighthearted couples never mock each other. They instinctively know what is -- and isn't -- fair game. "Sam would never dream of making fun of my big butt," notes Catherine.
9. THEY TAKE "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE" SERIOUSLY
Contented couples encounter their share of life's miseries -- whether it's the car breaking down, a nasty cold, or a missed promotion -- but they help each other get through. You don't, for example, hear them say, "How could you let that happen?" when a spouse loses a job. "Couples who do well together tend not to do anything that increases their partner's suffering, like become resentful or criticize," notes Dr. Young-Eisendrath. In good marriages, people feel safe from the outside world. Each spouse, stresses Dr. Greer, has the feeling, "I can count on you, our world is all right."
Some of you may remember the 1960's, when four shaggy-haired lads sang, "All You Need Is Love." Every generation has had its crooners extolling love as the paramount pursuit of life and the cure for loneliness, hasn't it? From the one-liners on T-shirts worn by kids today crying out to be heard, to the sentimental movies of a by-gone era, tales of love litter the landscape.
But let me ask you this: is love really the answer to loneliness? The answer may seem obvious because we hear from all sides, "Of course it is." But friend, I beg to differ! Listen to D.H. Lawrence, writing of his own pursuit of happiness, and hear what forces one to think long and hard before surrendering to his conclusion. Here's what he writes:
We want to delude ourselves that of the problem of our emptiness,
love is at the root. I want to say to you, it isn't. Love is
only the branches. The root goes beyond love. A naked kind of
isolation. An isolated me that does not meet and mingle and
never can. It is true what I say. There is a beyond in me which
goes further than love, beyond the scope of stars. Just as some
stars are beyond the scope of our vision, so our own search goes
beyond the scope of love. At least, I think that it is at the
root, going beyond love itself. (D.H. Lawrence; source unknown)
Is Lawrence right? There is a "beyond" in all of us that love does not satisfy. As grand a privilege as love is, I suspect that even in its best form we have made of it something it was never meant to be. Love has been exalted to emotional expectations that it could never deliver on a sustained basis. As the familiar proverb goes, "Love ceases to be a demon only when it ceases to be a god." In other words, love becomes an affliction when it is idolized as an end in itself.
May I submit then that that "beyond" in us is the longing for God, who is the Author of love. Love is not the final answer to loneliness. Love is not the root. It is only the branches. When we turn to the Author of love to define the source of its root and the reach of its branches, love is understood rightly. Friend, listen to that "beyond" in your heart and call upon the One who can truly meet you there.
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Copyright © 2003 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.
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Women, as well as men, benefit from marriage and get a mental health boost from being a couple, a new study says.
Research from Australia, which shows that about 13 percent of married men and women suffer from stress, contradicts the findings of a 1972 study by sociologist Jessie Bernard.
Her study, which looked at anxiety, depression and neurosis in married and unmarried people, found that men reaped the benefits of marriage at the expense of women.
"The idea that men benefit from being part of a couple while women suffer all the stress has taken a blow," New Scientist magazine said Wednesday.
Psychologist David de Vaus, from LaTrobe University in Melbourne, said the difference between his findings and Bernard's could be due to the definition of stress and mental disorder, which can manifest itself in men as drug and alcohol abuse.
When he studied data from a mental health poll of more than 10,000 adults from a 1996 national survey of mental health in Australia which included substance abuse as indicators of stress, he found that 25 percent of single men and women were miserable.
In the female sample, married women with children had the fewest mental health problems.
"Psychologists are now debating whether Bernard's conclusions have always been flawed, or whether women have become genuinely happier inside marriage over the past 30 years," the magazine added.
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