God works in mysterious ways, he really does. Let me tell you how he worked with me.
My husband, Michael and I, have driven as a team for the past 2 years. Before that, I was a passenger while he drove solo. Our job as a team has been to move freight across America's roads. So naturally, I thought it was my turn to go solo.
In the spring of 1995, I decided to venture out on a new and exciting excursion in my life. I wanted to do this for a few reasons. Independence has always been pretty much my character, although I am thoroughly dependent on Michael. I saw this as a way to prove to myself I could take on such a task. After all, trucking is a far cry different from sitting behind a desk pushing pencils. Here, we're on the roads of America pushing big rigs to destinations unknown, watching the world through our windshield.
Another reason why I wanted this, was as insurance, so-to-speak. What if Michael got sick or injured, or...well, let's not think of that. What if...can I really keep going? Can I really keep this rig on the road alone and do a good job at it? Can I drive in all types of weather alone, or am I going to wimp out because I didn't force myself to learn anything? I never was one to sit idle for long and do nothing.
So, here I was, after 6 months of careful planning and thinking about this new step. Michael and I had discussed this in great length. Now we both felt ready to make the transition. Nervousness was very much a companion right now and soon becoming a well known feeling as we cleaned out my stuff to put into the other truck.
I was assigned to my own company truck. It was a big beautiful Freightliner. It was large enough for me to stand up in. In fact, it even had a top bunk in it if I wanted to sleep up there instead of the lower bed. Wow, this is really exciting. A truck all my own!!
The adrenaline in me was flowing like it never has before. I felt 10 feet tall and full of confidence. I went to the dispatch office to prepare to get the information for my first load.
"Hello," I said in sort of a laughter. "I'm ready for my first load." I looked around the room with a new interest. Usually Michael stood here and worked out the details for our next loads. Now, I stand in his place and actually feel pretty good.
The dispatcher looked up from his computer to greet me. "Well, hello there Jen. Gonna' try this on your own, huh?" He smiled with a firm confidence. He was a younger dispatcher. I was told that he was only 24 years old. His physique showed of a man that likes to be out on the slopes a lot. Ski areas in the Utah are in abundance there, and he looked as if he had been to every one of them.
"All we have is a load of rolled paper going to Los Angeles," he told me. He seemed to be pleading with me to take the load. He was scanning his pen across his note pad as he double checked his information. He looked back up, raised his eyebrows a bit, shrugged his shoulders and said, "sorry, you can either take this one or wait until later for a different one."
"Hmm...okay...I'll go ahead and do that load." I swallow the biggest lump in my throat. Now I'm nervous. So I'm not quite 10 feet tall anymore. At least a good 8 foot still, anyway.
He gives me all of the information that I needed to find the trailer to hook up to. I see that the trailer I needed was all ready loaded and in the terminal yard. All right, this seems pretty easy so far.
I hooked up to the trailer and began to do my pre-trip inspection. As I was walking around looking at every air line, tire, light and the overall rig, I prayed to God, "Lord Jesus, please protect me on my new journeys. Protect those who travel around me so that their trips may be safe also. Amen."
I walked around the trailer and the truck touching everything as I prayed. I wanted this first trip to go well since this will plant the seed as to how things will go from here.
All set, everything done! I completed my paperwork...my inspection is done...I asked for God's guidance and protection. I take a deep breath as I look out the windshield of the truck. I get comfortable in my seat and turn the ignition on. Now to put it in gear.
Another deep breath, this is it. In a few seconds, I will be on my way to independence. I release the air brakes and begin rolling forward. I'm on my way! I am really going to do this. I drive through the terminal yard and watch the other drivers sitting at the benches as they take a break from their long trips.
The weather was good. I like that. I noticed on the atlas earlier that it was just a short jaunt on I-15 from Salt Lake City, Utah to Los Angeles, California.
As I drove down the road, I began noticing things that I had never noticed before. I was usually sleeping when Michael was driving so that I could be rested for my shift of driving. I travelled through some of the most beautiful mountains of southern Utah, through the town of St. George. Rich, dark red dirt in all different shades colored the mountain sides. The mountains stood as majestic castles guarding those at their feet.
Soon I was travelling through an interesting 28 mile section of Arizona. This part of the interstate wound through cliffs that looked like the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I stopped at a rest area within the cliffs. Joshua Trees decorated the hillside in abundance. There was a breeze that lent the most awesome sweet smell of the sage brush in the area.
I took some pictures of the area so that I could remember what it all looked like. I was beginning to feel like a real travelling vacationer. This was cool!
Now back on the road, I came into an area that had a total personality change from what I had just come through. The sun had gone down. I drove slowly down the hill as I noticed that I was entering the bright and colorful city of Las Vegas, Nevada. What a spread!
The traffic in the middle of the night here is almost as bad as the day time. I can't believe that at midnight, there is a traffic jam on the interstate. What a crazy place this is.
As I leave the Vegas area, I get closer to California and notice the landscape taking on a big change. Although it is dark out there, the huge full moon has lit the area quite well. I notice that the trees are no longer a part of the landscape. In fact, there isn't much in the way of sage brush. The sands of the Mojave almost look unforgiving to the one who dares to venture out into its inner realm.
I pray again for protection as I travel past the last possible sight of civilization in Nevada. The look of California ahead of me lends no lights of buildings. Just the scurry of vehicles travelling the same road I am. Everyone has their own mission in mind and that is to reach their destination.
The next several miles through California are spent listening to my radio. The national news was recapping the footage on the Los Angeles riots that just got over about a week ago. They were updating the condition of the truck driver that was pulled out of his truck and also the status of Rodney King.
I remember when the riots were going on. Michael and I were headed to L.A. to deliver a load, but the National Guard stopped us at Barstow, California. They had all of the roads closed to Los Angeles due to the riots. No one could get in and no one could leave. Los Angeles was now a country of its own... isolated from the rest of the world.
I work hard while climbing hills and carefully go down the other side. I begin to get closer to Los Angeles by early morning. The sun begins to reveal the mountains in front of me.
At the top of a huge down hill called Cajon Summit, I pull into a safety area just to check my brakes. My load is pretty heavy, and I don't want to go rolling into L.A. at lightening speed with my brakes on fire. That would not be good.
Everything is checked and adjustments were made. Now to drop into the basin of L.A. I go down the mountain at a safe speed of 30 miles an hour. I feel very comfortable at that and make it down safely.
As I get to the bottom, I check over my directions to the company that I will be delivering the paper to. I then proceed to go through the maze of interstates and changes through the metro area. Los Angeles is pretty well put together when I compare it to Jersey City or New York City. No traffic circles to get stuck in the inside lane on. Not many off ramps that have no return to the freeway. I call those "oops ramps!"
"Let's see, my directions say to go south Interstate 110 to 51st street and go north. Okay, sounds simple", I reassure myself. Traffic is good, sun is out. My confidence is still pretty high. I am actually quite proud of myself and how I am handling L.A.'s freeways.
I see a sign, 51st street 1 1/2 miles. Okay, here goes the adrenaline thing again. I'm beginning to get a bit nervous now. My palms sweat as I hold onto the steering wheel with steel gripping strength. I take several deep breaths and ease my hands a bit. I begin slowing down and gearing the rig down.
Interstate driving, for the most part is very easy. It can be relaxing and not very stressful. It's when you get off of that and switch to city driving is when things begin to change.
Okay, I'm on the ramp now. I take a deep breath..."Lord, please be with me and guide me through." I have reached the stop sign and then that's when I begin to sweat.
"I was going south on Interstate 110. Yeah, that's right". I mumble to myself. I look left, then right. Confusion sets in. Two people walking along the sidewalk are watching me. One of them is pushing a grocery cart full of belongings. They were both just strolling along down the sidewalk enjoying the view of a truck driver that looks obviously lost.
As I double check my directions, it says to go north on 51st street. Yes, that is what it says. I begin to get real nervous. "Lord, please grant me a calm spirit so that I may continue this trip." I pray out loud. I notice that 51st does not go north and south, it goes east and west. Now what!! I sweat some more as I turn the air conditioner on full blast. Well here goes, a pure stab in the dark. I turn my signal on...click...click...click. I put the truck in gear and make a right hand turn. A long inhale and exhale and now I'm on 51st. "Am I going the right direction?" I thought.
I travel one block so far. Okay not too bad. Then I go two blocks and notice that the surroundings are not beginning to look like an industrial area. I begin to sweat some more. Now I have gone three blocks. By now my insides are shaking and I start speeding up. I hardly even stopped at one of the stop signs back there. This is not right. The surroundings are all wrong. I shouldn't be here. I am shaking so bad now that I am about frozen.
The neighborhood that I am travelling through clearly shows the scars of the recent riots that I had heard about on the radio earlier. I remember the news that I had heard on the radio when we were stuck in Barstow. Now I am really scared. I feel isolated in my truck as I begin to really speed up through the neighborhood.
The scars of the recent riots were very noticeable. Walls were spray painted with what looked to be like gang writings. Cars were vandalized in front of the homes. One guy was out in his front yard holding the hose as he watered his lawn. He had a cast on his arm and was propped up on a crutch. Could he be a casualty of the riots? Several older kids and young adults were sitting on the porch of another house as they watched me pass by. One of them stood up and that is when I gulped for air. There wasn't enough air in the truck. Breathing got harder now. This is definitely not the place for a single girl to be let alone a trucker!
As I carefully shifted gears, and quickly went through the neighborhood, I came to a stop sign. I had to stop at this one. It let out to a 4-lane thoroughfare. Oh what a relief. I take a deep breath and sigh as I exhale. Civilization! It is like I had just come out of a huge forest into the mass opening of a field. I had been fighting to get through the thick brush and trees and finally made it out.
I have stopped at the stop sign and set my air brakes. I need to look for my L.A. Bible. That's what us truck drivers call our L.A. atlas. We depend on this book as much as we depend on the bible and God for answers. It is our lifeblood! As I search the truck for where I normally keep my atlases, I notice that I can't find the L.A. book.
"Oh great!" I said out loud. "Where did I put it?" I was getting frustrated.
As I sit at the corner of 51st and Avalon, shaking uncontrollably of fear, I was breathing very irregularly. The air conditioner was on full blast, yet the sweat poured off of my face.
I yell out, "Lord help me, please!"
Just then, I focus on my cellular phone on the dash. It took two trys to steady my fingers enough to push the right buttons. I finally correctly dialed into Michaels truck. He was traveling on Interstate 5 going north in Oregon when his phone rang.
"Hello," he said in his usually bubbly voice. He almost always knew that when his phone rang it was me. So each time, he was excited to hear from me.
"He...hello, Michael. I...I am in t...trouble. I'm in L.A. s...somewhere and need t...to get to 53rd street." I said shakingly. Each word seemed as if I were gasping for air. I was wiping the sweat off my forhead with a paper towel. It didn't take long before I needed to replace it with another one.
"All right, calm down," he said. "Let me pull over and I'll help you." He was just about to travel out a service area when I called him. The phone crackled a bit with static which made it difficult to hear.
"Okay, where are you and where do you need to go?" He asked. I explained everything to him and actually began to calm down. When I told him that I didn't know where my L.A. bible was, he said, "uh, yeah. You left it in my truck."
"Good place for it," I told him. He found right where I was and talked me through the next several blocks until we found 53rd street. "Oh thank you, sweetie. You have been a life saver to me. I love you." I exhaled out every word in relief. Now that I was actually calming down, I was beginning to get cold from all of the sweating I was doing. I had to turn the air conditioner off.
We hung up our phones and I took another long, deep breath. I was looking around the surroundings, the tall buildings, the warehouses. "Now, this is where I should have been in the beginning," I thought.
As I look around, I notice a billboard perched on top of one of the warehouses. The billboard itself was old and dilapidated, but the message on it was clearly new and fresh. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I read the message that I knew was only meant for me. A huge lump in my throat began to form, the sign read..."Don't worry about it. Pray to God. It works!"
"Oh, Lord Jesus. You were with me all of the time. Thank you Jesus. Forgive me for not looking upon you, during my worst fears. I see that you are really my pilot, and I am the co-pilot." I confessed out loud.
Wow...chills from seeing that sign? You bethca!!! Thank you Lord, you really do work in mysterious ways.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Send your comments to the author of this short story.
Email: MrsBluBrd@aol.com