Fathers in Christian preaching symbolize both earthly authority and spiritual guidance, reflecting God's fatherly care and discipline (Ephesians 6:4). Illustrations often contrast flawed human fathers with the perfect Father in heaven, using images of protection, leadership, and legacy to explore themes of honor, obedience, and the impact of paternal influence on faith and character (Psalm 68:5).
A dad is a mender of toys, A leader of boys. He's a changer of fuses,
A healer of bruises He's a mover of couches, A soother of ouches. He's
a pounder of nails, A teller of tales. He's a dryer of dishes, A
fulfiller of wishes Bless him, O Lord. Jo Ann Heidbreder
His shoulders are a little bent, His youthful force a trifle spent,
But he's the finest man I know, With heart of gold and hair of snow.
He's seldom cross and never mean; He's always been so good and clean;
I only hope I'll always be As kind to him as he's to me. Sometimes
he's tired and seems forlorn, His happy face is lined and worn; Yet he
can smile when things are bad: That's why I like my gray-haired dad.
He doesn't ask the world for much-- Just comfort, friendliness, and
such; But from the things I've heard him say, I know it's up to me to
pay For all the deeds he's done for me Since I sat rocking on his
knee; Oh, not in dollars, dimes, or cents-- That's not a father's
recompense; Nor does he worship wealth and fame-- He'd have me honor
Jesus' name.
Josh McDowell has been trying to find out what dads are doing in Christian families, and the news isn't good. In his book THE DAD DIFFERENCE, McDowell reveals that there seems to be a parenting gap. These statistics are from McDowell's book:
The average teen in our churches spends only 2 minutes a day in meaningful dialogue with his dad. 25% of these teens say they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father -- a talk centered on the teens' interests. A positive and continuous relationship to one's father has been found to be associated with a good self-concept, higher self- esteem, higher self-confidence in personal and social interaction, higher moral maturity, reduced rates of unwed teen pregnancy, greater internal control and higher career aspirations. Fathers who are affectionate, nurturing and actively involved in child-rearing are more likely to have well- adjusted children.
(Dr. George Rekers, in Homemade, vol. 11, no. 1)
James Dobson cited a Cornell University study showing that fathers of preschool children on the average spend 37.7 seconds per day in real contact with their youngsters. In contrast, the study indicated that children watch television approximately 54 hours per week. (C.T., Mar 23, 1979)
AN OPEN LETTER TO FAMILY MEN She was blond and beautiful, with azure eyes and a tumble of tawny
curls. At three years of age, she would climb into her daddy's lap,
snuggle up with a wide, satisfied smile, and purr, "This is my safe
place!" And so it was. Dads, husbands, YOU are the "safe place." You
are our protector and provider. And when you gather us for a time with
God, we need a safe place. A safe place, not a lecture. A safe place,
not a sermon. A very human dad/husband who simply cares about God and
us. We don't need or even want a "spiritual giant." We just want you.
And we need a gathering time (phone unplugged) where it's safe to say
to each other, "How are you and the Lord getting along?" "How can we
pray today?" We need a safe place to cry laugh, sing, rejoice,
challenge, share, and sometimes not to share and have it be okay. We
need a time with you that's relaxed--unstiff, when we can pray
honestly, in simple sentences, from our hearts. Unfixed. Unrigid. Unroutine. Unshackled. We need a place where irregular opinions are
respected, and where God has the last word. We need a gentleman
leader, not a general. Gracious. Relaxed. Human. A family shepherd who
exhibits not infallible authority, but a thirst for God. Every day?
Not necessarily. Often? Yes. Long? No. Where? Anywhere. How? Sense
where we're at, and zero in. We may need heavy-duty confessing to each
other and to God...silent prayer...exuberant praise (try sing-a- long
tapes)...Bible study. But not every time. Thanks for listening, Dad
(Husband).
Remember, we need you.
Your family.
(Written by Linda Anderson, 1989 Daily Bread)
The lack of attentiveness to children's needs by fathers has produced great changes in the American home. Fathers spend an average of only 38 seconds a day being totally attentive and 20 minutes being partially attentive to their children's needs. Associated with these changes are the rising teen-age suicide rate, which has tripled in the last 20 years, and the increasing incidence of deliquent behavior, which will bring one of nine adolescents in the U.S. into a courtroom this year.
Dr. Seymour Diamond, M.D., in Oct, 1982 Homemade
Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat,
kept a diary. One day he entered: "Went fishing with my son today--a
day wasted." His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still
in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: "Went
fishing with my father--the most wonderful day of my life!" The father
thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his
son saw it as an investment of time. The only way to tell the
difference between wasting and investing is to know one's ultimate
purpose in life and to judge accordingly. Silas Shotwell, in Sept,
1987 Homemade
When the father is an active believer, there is about a seventy-five
percent likelihood that the children will also become active
believers. But if only the mother is a believer, this likelihood is
dramatically reduced to fifteen percent.
Keith Meyering, in Discipleship Journal, issue #49, p. 41.
"Preacher, talk to my boy about drinking," said an anxious father.
"He came home last night and fell sprawling on the floor, too drunk to
get up. His mother cried the rest of the night; in fact, she has been
crying ever since."
"Why don't you yourself talk to your own boy and urge him to give
up drink?" the preacher questioned.
"Preacher, I can't talk to my son about it because I am to blame. I
wanted him to be a man, and I thought it wouldn't harm him to drink.
When I gave him his first glass of liquor, I didn't dream that he'd
ever become a drunkard. Please speak to my boy. I can't talk to him."
William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
The railroad magnate was dying. His son stood by his bedside. The
dying man said, "Son, take my hand." This he did, and his father said,
"Son, you are holding the hand of the man who has made the greatest
failure of any man in all the world." The son replied by saying,
"Father, why do you thus speak? You are president of a railroad. You
are worth millions of dollars. Your word is as good as your bond. You
number your friends by the thousands." Then he replied, "I have lived
for time and not for eternity. I have made no preparation for the next
world. I must leave all I have. It is all dark and cold." And then he
quickly passed into eternity. Yes, he was a poor man. "What shall it
profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own
soul?"
William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
When William Channing was a boy of ten years, he heard Dr. Hopkins
preach
a forceful sermon on the reasonableness of a future judgment. He was
deeply impressed and expected his father, who was a deacon of the
Congregational church, to speak to him about his soul's salvation. He
did not utter a word in regard to the sermon or his danger but, on
reaching home, sat down to read.
Dr. Channing says, "I made up my mind that my father did not
believe one word that he had heard. He was not alarmed; why should I
be? I dismissed the whole subject from my thoughts." His father's
thoughtlessness drove him into the ranks of heterodoxy, and he became
the champion of Unitarianism.
William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
While I was preaching in a certain town, there was a boy who would
come into the back part of the church and lie down and go to sleep. He
was drunk. His father, who was a good Christian man, would take him
home.
One morning after one of these experiences, the boy came
downstairs. The father met him and said, "Hold on, Son. I want you to
go to church with me and be a Christian." The son said, "No, Father, I
do not want to be a Christian. I am not going to church. Please get
out of my way, for I am going to town."
The father pleaded tenderly and said, "Son, your mother has slept
little for nights. She is almost dying. You are killing us all. Please
go and become a Christian like your father has." But the son glared at
him and said, "Do you know who the man is who gave me my first drink?"
The father answered, "No." Then as he rushed past him and out of the
door, he angrily said, "You are the man, sir." The father said that if
the boy had shot him through the heart, it could not have hurt more.
Yes, we reap what we sow. -- SAM P. JONES.
William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
Fathers must be proactive in a strategy to exercise patience at all
times. Practically speaking, this means we must:
* Speak calmly to our children;
* Take time to answer their
questions and concerns;
* Allow them to disagree with us;
* Be
patient when they make mistakes;
* Don't get upset over the trivial;
* Work around their schedule;
* Be ready to receive them after a
crisis;
* Look for the positive to affirm in them after they fail;
*
Never, never, {never} give up on them.
- Ken R. Canfield, "It Takes Patience" {New Man, }July/August,
1997, p. 79
A story is told of a young man who stood at the bar of a court of justice to be sentenced for forgery. The judge had known him from a child, for his father had been a famous legal scholar and his work on the "Law of Trusts" was the most exhaustive work on the subject in existence. "Do you remember your father," asked the judge sternly, "that father whom you have disgraced?" The prisoner answered: "I remember him perfectly. When I went to him for advice or companionship, he would look up from his book on the 'Law of Trusts' and say, 'Run away, boy, I am busy.' My father finished his book, and here I am."
The great lawyer had neglected his own trust with awful results.
===============
Another version:
A young man was to be sentenced to the penitentiary. The judge had known him from childhood, for he was well acquainted with his father -- a famous legal scholar and the author of an exhaustive study entitled, “The Law of Trusts. “Do you remember your father?” asked the magistrate.
“I remember him well, your honor,” came the reply. Then trying to probe the offender’s conscience, the judge said, “As you are about to be sentenced and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?”
There was a pause. Then the judge received an answer he had not expected. “I remember when I went to him for advice. He looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, ‘Run along, boy; I’m busy!’ When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying “Run along, son; this book must be finished!’ Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer. I remember him as a lost friend.”
The magistrate muttered to himself, “Alas! Finished the book, but lost the boy!”
________
Homemade, February 1989
A Sunday school class of first-graders was asked to draw a picture of God. When the pastor stopped by to inspect their work, the children were happy to show him their drawings. One had depicted God in the form of a brightly colored rainbow. Another had drawn the face of an old man coming out of billowing clouds. And there was one rendition which looked a lot like Superman. But perhaps the best was the one proudly displayed by a girl who said, "I didn't know what God looked like, so I just drew a picture of my daddy."
The first-grader showed a lot of wisdom. Nobody knows what God looks like because nobody has seen Him, but God has revealed Himself as a Father to those who are related to Him by faith.
In study after study, the absence of fathers is linked to a host of what social scientists call “adverse outcomes” in the lives of children. These adverse outcomes affect all of society — increased crime, substance abuse, and dropping out of school, to name but a few.
The “adverse outcomes” can also be more “personal,” although just as devastating: increased incidents of mental illness, sexual promiscuity, and an inability to form stable and lasting relationships.
Since there’s no serious doubt that fatherlessness is bad for our kids, the obvious question is: How do we get fathers to live up to their obligations?
Loren Marks has identified what should be an obvious answer. He teaches at the School for Human Ecology at Louisiana State University, whose focus is studying the family “as a system” and how it interacts “with local and global environments.”
An important part of that environment is religion, and Marks’ specialty is the impact of “faith involvement” on families.
As part of his research, Marks and fellow researcher David Dollahite studied 130 families across the country, including Christians, Jews, Mormons and Muslims.
They found that “religious beliefs and practices play a critical role for many men in their involvement with children.” While this may seem obvious to you, it’s vitally important to remind ourselves of this “in an era when many fathers are disconnected from or uninvolved with their children.”
In an interview with the Australian magazine MERCATORNET, Marks listed some of the reasons why religious beliefs and practices make such a difference for many men.
First, “married couples who are actively involved in the same faith tend to have stronger, happier marriages and this impacts father-child relationships in a positive way.” Second, “religious fathers are far less likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs than non-religious fathers, and an estimated 80 percent of child abuse is alcohol related.”
The third factor is the belief that “fathers will be personally accountable to God for their good (or bad) fathering. This [creates] a sacred motivation to be a better father.” It’s this factor which sets religious life apart as a maker of better fathers.
As Marks told the interviewer, even the finest secular institutions cannot provide the “focus on the sacred” and the “sense of relationship with God” that creates the accountability Marks and Dollahite found in the men they researched. Neither do these institutions provide the “close associations and positive models” that reinforce these beliefs and practices.
Marks’ findings are important “news” because of our culture’s attack on the power of faith. Any claim of religion’s destructiveness, however groundless, will attract lots of attention. THE NEW YORK TIMES bestseller list is full of books about the “adverse outcomes” allegedly stemming from the “focus on the sacred.”
Not only that, but people also bristle at the suggestion that faith can make men better. Well, as Marks documents, it can — in precisely the area it matters most.
For 30 years I’ve seen how faith has transformed men behind bars, so Marks’ report doesn’t surprise me. Nor should it surprise anybody: that is, if they’re willing to consider the obvious.
________
Copyright (c) 2007 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
*
[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #7511]
Scottish novelist Sir Walter Scott first gained fame with his poems of medieval families living on the English-Scottish border. Although Scott was well known, his son was ignorant of his father's literary fame, loving and admiring him for reasons closer to a boy's heart.
Once, the younger Scott was in the company of some older people who were discussing his father's genius. “Yes,” put in the boy, “he is usually first to see the rabbit.” Apparently Sir Walter spent a good deal of time hunting rabbits with his son. That time together meant more to young Scott than all the novels his father would ever write.
A little boy came to his father and asked him, “Dad, who made God?” The father, engrossed in the evening paper, responded, “Beats me, son.” The little boy would not be put off. “Dad, why is the earth round?” The dad answered, “I don't know, son.” The boy played for a minute, then asked, “Dad, is there life on other planets?” The father patiently answered, “Nobody knows the answer to that.” Finally the boy asked his father, “Dad, do you mind me asking you all these questions?” The father put down his paper, “Why not at all son,” he said, “how else are you going to learn?”
==================================
Another version by Gerald Rodgers:
One day a small boy was taking a walk with his father. When they passed an unusual looking truck, he said, "What is that, Daddy?"
"I don't know," his father said.
Then they came to a large, old-fashioned warehouse, "What's in there, Daddy?" the little boy asked.
"I don't know," his father replied.
After they had walked on a short way in silence, the little boy turned to his father and said, "Daddy, do you mind my asking you so many questions?"
"Of course not," commented his father proudly. "How else are you going to learn anything?"
My Source: FULTON COUNTY GOSPEL NEWS
Volume 34, #2, February 2000
Ted J. Clarke, Editor
P.O. Box 251
Mammoth Spring, AR 72554
tedjc@centurytel.net
Author: David Macy
=========================================
A CHRISTIAN FATHER
IS A PROTECTOR
by David Macy
Ordinarily we only hear about a man protecting his family physically. We often hear the question, "What would you do if someone broke into your home and attacked your family?" "Would you kill them or would you stand by and let your family be abused?" I am sure there are several different opinions on this subject. But the point is most people think of a father's protection in terms of physical protection, but a Christian father protects his children in several ways. You could beat the stuffing out of everyone who tried to abuse your family in any way, and still be a poor all around protector.
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places" (Ephesians 6:12). A Christian father protects his family spiritually. He stands between them and the ferocious powers of darkness. The possible assault of a man or even men against a family is nothing compared to the daily assault of Satan and all of his evil forces. But even the old devil himself is forced to recognize the authority of the husband and father in the home and his God given role as protector. I wrestled with Satan often to protect my precious children and without the strength which Jesus gives I would have lost the battle every time.
A Christian father also protects his family mentally and emotionally. He stands against anything which would be detrimental to their emotional health. Pornography is detrimental and destructive so he stands against pornography. Dirty movies are detrimental so he stands against dirty movies. False teaching is detrimental so he stands against false teaching. I know from experience that it is very difficult to keep any child, and especially teenagers, away from evil influences, and even some participation in things which you do not approve, but just strongly voicing your disapproval carries much more weight than you may realize.
A real life father who protects in the true sense is a rarity today, but what a beautiful thing it is when you find one and observe his words and action which are far more precious than a great abundance of riches to his family. They are safe on many fronts while most families are being bombarded with little or no protection, and often are completely destroyed. Yes, one Christian man can do worlds of good.
--4820 Appalachian Hwy.
Blue Ridge, GA 30513
Dad's come in all sizes; some big, some small. No matter the size, a
good Dad
always stands tall. He's a man his family is proud of, 'cause they
know he's doing his best. He
looks to God for guidance and with His help can do any task. He's
unique; there's no one quite like him, he's the Dad we look up to. On
this day we honor our fathers, the greatest gift is to say. . .
Dad, I love you!
- Ann Merrill, First Baptist Church of Newport, Sunday Bulletin
If I went shopping for a dad,
Here is what I’d buy:
One who would always stop
To answer a little boy’s “Why?”
One who would always speak kindly
To a little girl or boy.
One who would give to others
A bit of sunshine and joy.
I’d pick a dad that followed
The Bible’s Golden Rule,
And one who went regularly
To church and Sunday school.
I’d buy the very finest dad
To place on our family tree,
And then I’d try to live like him
So he would be proud of me.
1. In \reference{Genesis 12}{Genesis 12} Abraham teaches fathers
about the pain of childlessness. 2. In \reference{Genesis 37}{Genesis
37}, \reference{48}{Genesis 48}, \reference{49}{Genesis 49} Jacob
teaches fathers what happens when playing favorites with children. 3.
In \reference{1 Samuel 1-4}{1 Samuel 1-4} Eli teaches fathers about
not being there for their own children but suceeding with foster
children. 4. In \reference{2 Samuel 11-18}{2 Samuel 11-18} David
teaches fathers that they will reap what they sow with their children.
5. In \reference{1 Kings 17-19}{1 Kings 17-19} and \reference{2 Kings
2-8}{2 Kings 2-8} Elijah teaches fathers the art of mentoring and
creating a leader. 6. In the book of Esther Mordecai teaches how to
be a good stepfater. 7. In \reference{Matthew 1-2}{Matthew 1-2} and
\reference{Luke 1-3}{Luke 1-3} Joseph (Jesus' father) teaches fathers
humility by playing second fiddle to everyone in history. 8. In
\reference{John 8:12-59}{John 8:12-59} Jesus asked us which father we
will follow, "Abraham, the Devil, or God."
When Billy Crystal's daughter turned 11, Billy was in New York
filming a movie. He called her, apologized for his work schedule and
said a package would be delivered soon. He then flew from NY to LA.
Later that day when Lindsay opened the front door, a six foot high
carton greeted her and she began ripping it open on the spot. Dad was
inside the carton. Billy said, "She hugged me for five minutes. It
was unbelievable." He went on to say, "I missed 25 birthdays with my
dad. I'm not going to let that happen with my girls." Billy was 15
when his father died of a heart attack.
One afternoon last fall I was scheduled to meet with a visiting
president from another country in my office. Before our meeting, I
went to my daughter's high school soccer game. It was scheduled to
end about 4, and my meeting wasn't until 4:30.
But as luck would have it, the game went into overtime. Still, I
wasn't worried. It was only a 15-minute drive back to the White
House. But at 4:15 the game went into double overtime. I just
couldn't leave, especially since it was my turn to give out the
postgame snakes.
It turned out that I was only 20 minutes late for my meeting, and
the interpreter explained the delay. The visiting president
understood completely. He's a father too.
- Vice President Al Gore, {Family Circle, }6/24/97, p. 132
What makes a man a good father? He maintains a viable balance
between work and family, even when it is most difficult. And he is
involved day to day in his children's lives, in their development and
their education.
- Vice President Al Gore, {Family Circle, }6/24/97, p. 132
Children, who are always eager to brag, "My dad can whip your dad"
or "No one is as good as my dad." In today's divorce-filled climate,
there are also the kids who cry, "I just wish I had a dad." Strong
men, our society needs you!
- Tom Sirotnak, {Warriors}, (Nashville: Broadman & Holman
Publishers, 1995), p. 11
Former major league baseball star Bo Jackson, who also used to chew
up yardage for the Los Angeles Raiders. In his book, {Bo Knows
Bo, } he recalled how he never had enough food at home, but he could
beat on the other kids and steal their lunch money to get something to
eat. "But I couldn't steal a father," he said. "I couldn't steal a
father's hug when I needed one. I couldn't steal a father's ----
whipping when I needed one."
- Tom Sirotnak, {Warriors}, (Nashville: Broadman & Holman
Publishers, 1995), p.16
When Orlando Magic center Shaquille O'Neal released his rap album,
{"Shaq-Fu: The Return}" in the fall of 1994, he dedicated a
song on it to his stepfather. In it, he tells how his biological
father never bothered to help him grow up. It was his stepfather who
took him from a boy to a man, he said. O'Neal's heartfelt tribute
also shows how important a father is to a young man's personal,
cultural, and social development. This need does not stop with boys.
Girls may struggle with their feminine identity when there is no
available contrast in role models.
- Tom Sirotnak, {Warriors}, (Nashville: Broadman & Holman
Publishers, 1995), p. 16
Several years ago an understandably proud father slipped into my
study. His daughter had written a letter that had won a blue ribbon
prize at school. She had written a paper on her dad. Among other
things, she wrote:
My dad has not always been "Pop" to us. We, my brothers and
sister, as well as Mom, call him "Daddy" when we were young. He was
able to make even folding clothes on Saturday fun with tickle fights
amidst freshly washed garments strewn all over the living room
floor. He would roll and pretend at vulnerability on the carpet and
grab each tiny, groping hand that attempted to tweak his ribs. We
seldom won, of course. Daddy could mercilessly tickle the toes off a
dead giant, not to mention take on four lively kids. And, yes,
there were serious times as well. We knew of them, too. He could
spank the tears out of any of us, not because the physical pain was so
incredible, but because it hurt us to think that we had brought him
pain by having earned that spanking. Looking back, I can see that
my parents, by joint effort, have done an exceptionally good job
raising us. High moral values, spiritual priorities, academic
excellence - all these have been held out to us as important. My pop
has instilled in us kids a sense of trust. He's been available,
especially in emergencies. He has done what he thinks best for us,
even when we might not agree. My dad has a corner on the upper
echelons of fatherhood.
There is no question in my mind that this girl's dad is imparting
his life, not just the gospel.
A fond affection . . . a transparent life; two qualitites a family
needs in a dad.
- Charles R. Swindoll, {Man to Man }(Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan Publishing House, 1996) 21-22
A little fella was sitting at the kitchen table, trying to draw a
pony. (If you've ever tried to draw a pony, you know how difficult it
is, especially if you're not an artist.) To make matters worse, his
dad, standing near, was blessed with artistic skill. He found himself
biting his lip as he watched his son struggle to make legs look like
legs, to put the ears in just the right places, and make it all look
proportionate. The kid just about wore the eraser down to zip as he
reworked his drawing. Finally, the father could restrain himself no
longer. In a moment of impatience, he grabbed the paper, flipped it
over, and drew a beautiful young colt, running at full gallop. He
included some shading, even added a few leafy trees in the background,
then pushed the paper across the table and said, "Here, Son, Here's
you pony."
The boy looked down, frowned, and said rather dejuctedly, "But,
Daddy, . . . I wanted a pony {I} drew."
For all the right reasons, diligent dads can lavish upon their
children so many things that the child becomes indulged and,
ultimately irresponsible. We need to work at keeping the balance.
- Charles R. Swindoll, {Man to Man }(Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan Publishing House, 1996) 23-24
Singer Barry Manilow sang of loneliness of their father being
absent in a song of yesteryear.
{We walked to the sea, just my father and me;} { And
the dog played around on the sand.} {Winter cold cut the air,
hangin' still everywhere} {Dressed in gray . . . did he say
"hold my hand"?} {I said, Love's easier when it's far away;}
{We sat and watched a distant light.} {We're two ships
that pass in the night} {We both smile and we say it's all
right;} {We're still here - it's just that we're out of sight}
{Like thise ships that pass in the night.} {There's a
boat on the line where the sea meets the sky} {There's
another that rides far behind;} {And it seems you and I are
like strangers} {A wide ways apart as we drift on through
time.} {He said, it's harder now, we're far away} {We
only read you when you write;} {We're two ships that pass in
the night. . . . }
- Charles R. Swindoll, {Man to Man }(Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan Publishing House, 1996) 28-29
A FATHER'S GREATEST SERMON
(Author Unknown)
The farmer and his family, after a hard year of typical farm
work, were rewarded with an unusually fine crop of grain. There were
happy days ahead.
Just a few days before harvest came a terrible wind and hail
storm. The entire crop was destroyed! After the storm was over, the
farmer, with his wife and little boy at his side, went out to the back
porch to view the field and the damage.
The little boy looked at what was formerly a beautiful field of
wheat, and tearfully looked up at his dad expecting to hear words of
despair.
All at once his father started to sing softly, "Rock of Ages,
cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee..." Years later, the little boy
now grown said, "That was the greatest sermon I have ever heard."
The farmer had lost a grain crop, but because of his faith,
manifested in great trial, he had gained forever for the Lord the soul of
his son. The son saw the faith of a godly man in practice!
"AN IDEAL FATHER"
Steve Klein
The world has set aside today as a day to honor fathers. Of
course if you are striving to please God, you will "honor your father"
more than just one day a year (Ephesians 6:2, Mark 10:17-19). But
"Father's Day" is a day on which some individuals choose to express their
love and respect for fathers in more outward, tangible ways than they do
throughout the rest of the year. Sadly, there are those who have a hard
time honoring fathers on Father's Day, or at any other time for that
matter. The problem may not totally be their fault. Honor is easier to
give to those who deserve it.
In a time when society is full of dead-beat dads, abusive
fathers, and men who have largely refused to fulfill their responsibility
as spiritual leaders in the home, it shouldn't be surprising that some do
find it difficult to honor fathers. Men of God ought to take this as a
challenge to improve - to make themselves worthy of the honor that God
has said is due them.
If an ideal father existed, one whom we could all honor and
respect, we could use him as a model - an example for other fathers to
imitate. Well, such a Father does exist. He is perfect (Matthew 5:48).
He deserves honor forever (Philippians 4:20). He is our heavenly Father,
and earthly fathers would do well to use Him as a model of the kind of
fathers we should be. From Him we learn…
1. AN IDEAL FATHER KNOWS THE NEEDS OF HIS CHILDREN. Jesus said that our
heavenly Father "knows the things you have need of before you ask Him."
(Matthew 6:8, cf. Matthew 6:32). How many earthly fathers are concerned enough,
observant enough and communicate enough with their children to know their
children's true needs? Many fathers not only do not know what children
need before the children ask, they don't know after they ask either
because they don't really pay attention. They are too involved in the
game on TV, or the newspaper, or some other selfish interest to give
their children the time of day.
2. AN IDEAL FATHER PROVIDES FOR THE NEEDS OF HIS CHILDREN. The Father
who feeds the birds of the air and clothes the grass of the field
provides for the needs of His children with even greater care (Matthew
6:26-29). Every good and perfect gift we have comes from Him (James
1:17). He provides not only physical bread for the hunger of the body,
but also spiritual bread to satisfy the soul (John 6:32-33). He has
blessed us with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3). Even so,
earthly fathers should concern themselves with providing for both the
physical and spiritual needs of their children (Ephesians 6:4). Too many
fathers neglect their children's spiritual needs in order to work
overtime to provide well beyond what is needed materially. Most children
have been given far too much of what they don't really need and precious
little of what they do. An ideal father provides for every need. And,
"if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his
household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1
Timothy 5:8).
3. AN IDEAL FATHER LOVES HIS CHILDREN. "Behold what manner of love the
Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!"(1
John 3:1). The "manner" or sort of love the heavenly Father lavishes on
us is much more than a cozy, warm feeling. It is a love which has our
eternal welfare at heart. "God the Father… has loved us, and given us
everlasting consolation and good hope by grace" (2 Thessalonians 2:16).
This is the "manner of love" earthly fathers need to have for their
children. It is love which "suffers long and is kind…does not envy…does
not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not
seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in
iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
4. AN IDEAL FATHER DISCIPLINES HIS CHILDREN. It is because God loves us
that He instructs us, corrects us and punishes us for disobedience. This
is discipline. Earthly fathers who love their children will discipline
them just as God does His children. "For whom the LORD loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights" (Proverbs 3:12). "He who
spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him
promptly" (Proverbs 13:24).
5. AN IDEAL FATHER FORGIVES HIS CHILDREN.Aren't we thankful God forgives?
Naturally, there are conditions placed upon the forgiveness He grants --
His children must repent and pray for forgiveness (Acts 8:22), and they
must be willing to forgive others also (Matthew 6:14-15; Mark 11:25-26).
In the course of life, most children will disobey fathers and bring upon
them untold shame, grief and embarrassment (cf. Proverbs 19:26; Proverbs 10:1, Proverbs 10:5).
The father who has truly resolved to be like the Ideal Father will
forgive his children from the heart when they repent and ask to be
forgiven.
God commands children to honor their fathers. May it be the
quest of every father reading these words to be the kind of father who is
honorable.
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
| My Source:
| CUBA CONTENDER
| June 12, 1996
| Mayfield, KY
|------------------------------
| Author of Poem: Unknown
|------------------------------
| File Under: Fathers
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
A FATHER'S ABC's
A Always trust them to God's care.
B Bring them to church.
C Challenge them to high goals.
D Delight in their achievements.
E Exalt the Lord in their presence.
F Frown on evil.
G Give them love.
H Hear their problems.
I Ignore not their childish fears.
J Joyfully accept their apologies.
K Keep their confidence.
L Live a good example before them.
M Make them your friends.
N Never ignore their endless questions.
O Open your home to their visits.
P Pray for them by name.
Q Quicken your interest in their spirituality.
R Remember their needs.
S Show them the way of salvation.
T Teach them to work.
U Understand they are still young.
V Verify your statements.
W Wean them from bad company.
X Expect them to obey.
Y Yearn for God's best for them.
Z Zealously guide them in biblical truth.
==================================================
DRL Note: There, fathers, that ought to keep us busy
for a few years!
My Source:
THE ENCOURAGER, Volume 11, #25
June 20, 1999
Calvert City church of Christ
Author: Lance Cordle
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
HOW NOT TO BE A FATHER
by Lance Cordle
Sometimes a negative example serves as great a purpose as a positive one. Paul said of the Israelites, "Now these things become our examples to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted" (1 Corinthians 10:6). We should look and see the mistakes and thus avoid them.
In line with this thinking, let's consider the example of a modern-day father, John Lennon. Most of us remember him as the leader of the music group, THE BEATLES. John was gunned down outside his New York apartment in 1984. Recently his oldest son, Julian, was interviewed for an article in USA WEEKEND (May 30, 1999). Among the things said by the 36-year-old Julian was, "The only thing he taught me was how not to be a father." Pretty biting comment, isn't it? However, look closer at the example and you will see what he means. Here are some things we should NOT do:
### DON'T SPEND A LOT OF TIME
WITH YOUR CHILDREN. Hear more
words from Julian: "He walked out the bloody
door and was never around." Children need
lots of time. In our day, the phrase "quality
time" is used to make people feel better when
they don't have a lot of time for their children.
Someone has said, however, "Yes, children
need quality time--lots of it!" Paul wrote
that we are to be "redeeming the time because
the days are evil" (Ephesians 5:16).
### BE SELFISH. John was wrapped up in his
music career at age 23. He didn't sacrifice
much for his newborn son. John never gave
him a music lesson -- Julian became a self-
taught musician. John and Julian's mother
also divorced when Julian was young. Paul
McCartney wrote the popular song, "Hey
Jude" specifically to help Julian deal with the
pain of the divorce.
### DON'T PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.
Again, of his father, Julian said, "I'd admire
him on TV -- listen to his words and opinions.
But for someone who was praised for peace
and love and wasn't able to keep that at home,
that's hypocrisy." Paul wrote, "Fathers, do
not provoke your children, lest they become
discouraged" (Colossians 3:20).
Fathers, let us follow God and avoid the mistakes of those in the world. Let us truly bring our children up in the "training and admonition of the Lord."
--Lance Cordle, calchurch@apex.net
Dusty Like You
submitted by Jerry L Steen - jsteen1@juno.com
At the first church that I pastored, I had the job of mixing feed to supplement my income. For a period of about two weeks, each day that I came home from work, my two boys, ages 2 and 3 would look at me, smile, and would say, "Boy, dad, you sure are dusty!" I would reply, "Yes, I sure am dusty." Then I would get cleaned up.
I didn't think too much of this until I was washing my car and saw my oldest son doing something very strange. He was picking up the gravel and stones that were in our drive and rubbing them into his pants. I asked him, "Want are you doing?" He replied, "I want to be dusty like you dad!"
I realized that if a child would look up to his father for being dusty and want to copy his father, a child could look up to his father and follow him for anything. What are you passing on to your son?
Did you know that if a child is the first person in a household to become a Christian, there is a 3.5 percent probability everyone else in the household will follow?
If the mother is the first to become a Christian, there is a 17 percent probability everyone else in the household will follow.
But if the father is first, there is a 93 percent probability everyone else in the household will follow. [1]
“I doubt that comes as a great surprise to most people,” said Sid Woodruff, men's ministry specialist in the Southern Baptist Convention. “We don't have to have statistics to tell us this is true. There is something in the hardwiring of creation that naturally causes wives and children to look to husbands and fathers to lead out.”
The statistics, Woodruff said, shout the importance of churches becoming more intentional in their development of ministries for men.
“If you reach the men, you reach the families,” he said. “But to reach the men, you have to enter into their world.”
Of about 94 million men in the United States, Woodruff said, 68 million don't attend any church, but 85 percent of those say they did grow up with some sort of church background.
These men aren't necessarily opposed to going to church, Woodruff said. They just don't see churches as being “male-friendly.”
“Churches by and large are doing a great job in women's ministries,” Woodruff said. “In some ways, it's easier to arrange than men's ministries. Women, by nature, tend to enjoy getting together and talking to each other. Men don't necessarily think about doing that. In fact, men tend to isolate themselves. We need to find ways to get men talking to each other and forming relationships around topics and activities that interest them.”
“It's no surprise that men like to do things,” Woodruff said. “We like projects.”
Getting the pastors behind a men's ministry program is crucial, Woodruff said. “Men will see it as important only if the pastor supports it.”
Using his own church, First Baptist of Hendersonville, Tenn., as an example, Woodruff said his pastor, Glenn Weekley, took a positive step by inviting men to participate in a weekly men's prayer group.
“What we started was a 6:30 a.m. men's prayer time every Saturday morning,” Woodruff said. “There has never been a mighty movement of God apart from prayer,” he said, noting that the prayer group has been meeting every Saturday morning for five years. The leaders of the church's men's ministries have been drawn from this group of praying men, Woodruff said.
“The pastor has been able to use this prayer group as a means of entry for men who visit the church and ask what's available for them,” Woodruff said. “The pastor isn't involved in every ministry we do for men, but by being involved in this prayer group, he can bring a man to the prayer time, then introduce him to other men there who can help guys plug into a group where they will feel comfortable.”
_____________
1. Statistics from Focus on the Family Publishing, "Promise Keepers at Work."
*
[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #1927]
T R U T H (2 Corinthians 13:8) -----------------------------------------------------------------------
--------- The percentage of adults who say the most important thing they learned from their father was: Always tell the truth: 33 Importance of saving: 14 How to drive a car: 6 How to negotiate: 5 Marry for love: 4 How to play sports: 3 How to change a tire: 3
USA Today (6/19/98)
A father was having trouble getting his son to cut his long hair. When the boy asked to borrow the family car, the father said, "You may borrow the
car when you cut your hair."
Later that same evening the father passed by the son's room where he was stretched out on the bed reading the Bible. The son said, "Dad, did you know it says here that Jesus never cut his hair?" His dad said, "Yes, son, and if you read further, you notice it says he walked everywhere he went."
*
During our most recent mission to South Africa, our hosts were kind enough to take me to an incredible game park where I could see African animals in the wild. And I did! Rhino, giraffe, ostrich, baboon - not the kind of animals you usually see wandering around the New York area! But the highlight was coming around this curve and meeting a great bull elephant in the road. He put on a real show for us for several minutes. Recently, I picked up my local newspaper and saw a news article with that game park as the dateline. The article was about the young male elephants there - the ones the rangers call there "teenagers." Apparently, in the last few months, these teenage male elephants have been on a reign of terror in the park, doing things that elephants don't usually do. They have attacked other animals like rhinos. They have attacked tourists, inflicting death or serious injury. And finally, the park officials have figured out what's gone wrong with these young males. When they were newborn, they were taken from another game park and brought to this one. But their fathers - the bull elephants - were not brought with them. So these teenage elephants grew up without a model of how a grownup male should act - and they're out of control.
Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A WORD WITH YOU today about "Father Fallout."
It isn't just some young elephants that are out of control - it's some young people. For the elephants, the cause is the absence of a father. The problem is the same for all too many young people, too. Yes, the young males, but even the young females as well.
It is obvious that God's created order assumes that a father will be a major force in shaping the life of a child. Our word for today from the Word of God comes from a sampling of God's statements about this central human relationship. Proverbs 13:1 - "A wise son heeds his father's instruction." Proverbs 1:8 - "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction." Then from Proverbs 4, "Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention to gain understanding ... When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender ... he taught me and said, 'Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commandments and you will live.'"
Well, it's very clear from God's Word: the father connection is critical in a son learning how to live. Even with elephants, if the male role model is not there, the young males don't know how to act or react ... and they end up going out of control. A father deficit is a major crippler in any child's life.
There can be a father deficit in a child's life because there is no father around ... or because Dad is around but not really there for you. He's disconnected, he's distant, he's often unavailable. Or he's there but he's modeling the wrong things. Because God has set up the father-figure as being so influential in human development, a child - especially a son - will tend to make important what seems important to Dad. He'll make unimportant what seems unimportant to Dad. He'll react as Dad reacts. He'll treat different people as Dad treats them. And research shows that Dad's relationship with a daughter is critical, too: she'll tend to relate to men the rest of her life as she relates to her father. Being a father is a powerful role and a huge responsibility.
So Colossians 3:21 says, "Father, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." Ephesians 6:4, "Father, do not exasperate your children; bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Dad, you have enormous power to build up your child ... or tear them down. And the ultimate responsibility for their spiritual development is up to you, not up to Mom.
If you're a Dad, realize you have nothing more important to do. And don't even try it without the power and wisdom of God that belongs only to those who know Christ as their Savior.
In an African game park, they are reaping the awful fallout of children raised without a father to follow. With the priorities and power of our Heavenly Father, we don't have to make the same mistake ... and reap a harvest of children with no inner guidance system.
*
Psychologists increasingly believe trying to coax male behavior into the motherhood mold may deny both fathers and children something unique.
________________
You know your daughter loves you when she wipes her nose on your sleeve. Michael Riera, psychologist and family counselor correspondent for the CBS Saturday Early Show, learned that little-known fatherhood truth one morning when he was driving his young daughter to school. Sniffling with the beginnings of a cold, Riera's daughter pointed to nothing in particular on the dashboard and asked, "Dad, what's that?"
Not seeing precisely what she was indicating, he pointed to the same spot. "There?" he asked.
"Mm-hmm," she said, with a ghost of a smile as the arm came in range. Then she attacked the undefended sleeve with her overloaded nose.
Snookered by a six-year old, Riera responded the way any freshly slimed father would: He laughed so hard he had to pull the car over. That, he decided, was a defining dad moment.
As father's day approaches and families thank the resident dad for another good year's parenting, they might also acknowledge him for simply being able to keep his head on straight. It's never been easy, after all, to be an American father. At mid-century, the man of the house was a removed and clueless thing, a second-tier parent looking on confusedly as mom tended the kids and passed onto him only the childcare jobs she was sure he wouldn't botch too badly. By the 1980s and '90s, of course, all that changed, as more and more weekend fathers became überfathers, growing warmer and fuzzier and devoting themselves to parenting with all the commitment of time and emotion that mom seems to exhibit so naturally.
And yet Superdad is still confused. In learning the ways of the new age parent, a lot of fathers have had no real guidelines to follow, and so they've followed the only one available: mom's. If a new mother sits and coos and sings to a baby, losing her sense of time and surroundings in the experience of parenting, dad should be able to do the same. If mom can bring earnestness and even delight to a clap-along song or a game of Barbies on the nursery floor, dad should be able to do that too. Never mind that plenty of women struggle themselves with meeting these dreamy standards, and they've now been set for men as well.
But can dads ever come close to making the grade? If men and women behave differently in the workplace, in their relationships, in everything from how they shop to how they watch TV, shouldn't the most primal of jobs - the job of parenting - bring out the greatest differences of all? More and more psychologists are answering yes, believing that trying to coax characteristically male behavior into the motherhood mold is not only hopeless, but may deny both fathers and children something unique they're intended to share. "Fathers and mothers are certainly equal," says Dr. Joshua Sparrow, associate director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center in Boston. "But they're different."
As most wives and mothers would testify, scratch a dad and you're likely to find both a pragmatist and a primitive. The pragmatist feels most comfortable when he has a job to do - assembling a train set, teaching a child to tie a shoe. The primitive is a goof - the one who does the ridiculous things, the messy things, who takes as much subversive pleasure in a sneak attack on an unguarded sleeve as kids themselves do. Children, the experts agree, are drawn to both behaviors.
In recent years, it's the first leg of that dual male temperament - the practical, clock-driven one - that fathers have been pressed most to hide, replacing it with an ability to luxuriate more in the business of raising their kids. No one knows why so many men fail to do this naturally, but part of the reason may be simple time pressure. Even in two-career households, fathers, on average, still spend more hours out of the house and on the job than mothers do, meaning that when they are at home, they're more often than not multitasking - changing a diaper or giving a bath at the same time they're trying to squeeze in a little play. When dad and kids finally do have a little downtime together, it may be hard for men to turn off the clock. "Men seem to like the time to have a beginning, middle and end," says Riera.
The male hunger for structure even in play, however, goes deeper than that. Put two men together at a cafe table and try to get a conversation going and you're likely as not to hit a wall. Put the same two men at a pool table and things warm up fast. The true purpose of the get-together might be to open up and enjoy one another's company, but without the fig leaf of the game, that would never happen. If this is the way men play as adults, it's not surprising that they do the same even when the playmate of the moment is a child.
Often, kids get a lot more from a dad with this kind of roundabout intimacy style than it would seem. Perhaps even more so than adults, children need to know they're being listened to and understood. The problem is, they can be damnably indirect about seeking that out, often revealing what they're thinking not explicitly, but with the off-hand question or the odd remark that can be a bombshell to the alert parent. The quiet of a car ride or the companionship of a back yard chore can do a lot to loosen kids lips and heighten dad's attentiveness.
Importantly, stresses Joseph DiPrisco, coauthor with Riera of the book "Field Guide to the American Teenager," it's not just younger kids who find this kind of fathering reassuring. Later on, when children get old enough to have more-complicated life issues - and get into more-complicated trouble - they rely on knowing there's a place they can go to discuss a problem and be assured of a measured response. "They need to know they can come to dad and say, 'I'm in love' or 'I'm not going to get into that college,' and that he can take it and he'll help," says DiPrisco.
A different kind of intimacy, but a no less powerful one, comes from the other side of the male coin - the stubbornly boyish side. Domesticating a grown man, so the stereotype goes, is a full-time job for the put-upon wife, who faces a lifetime of damp towels left on the bed and milk swigged straight from the carton. Even if science has never bothered to test that hypothesis, most families do agree that when it comes to maintaining order in the home, it's women who are the civilizing force. But if men can be domestic delinquents, children are men writ large - agents of disorder from the moment they're born. Both dad and kids thus forever find themselves bumping up against behavioral limits set by both mom and the world as a whole. And in that sense of frustrated mischief-making, a deep and playful bond can form. "Guys tend to be goofier," says Riera. "It's just a male thing." [...]
They key, of course, is for the parents to make sure those traits are there to begin with. American men may be gaining an ever-growing appreciation for the joys of practicing loving, total-immersion parenting. But the new-age dad might also do well to remember to keep the new age part lower-case, and capitalize the Dad.
With reporting by Lisa McLaughlin/New York
*
An article appeared in USA Today on June 13 titled, "'Father' means more than household master." The writer, Patricia Pearson, asserts that fathers are essential for healthy and proper growth of children. She notes that a host of studies persist in pointing out that kids do better socially, emotionally and intellectually when dads are present. But, Pearson continues, one of the problems not addressed in America is how men define fatherhood.
Pearson makes a point that reaches to the heart of America. The question also reaches to the heart of Christians, and we must ask, "Is her understanding of fatherhood compatible with what God says in his Word?"
Without doubt, dads do make a difference in the lives of their children. But the Scriptures are clear that fathers make a difference in the lives of their wives as well. We must go to the Scriptures and determine what God says about being "the family man."
It is clear in Ephesians that the relationships between a man, his wife and his children should emulate Christ and his church -- emulate Christ's love, submission, respect, sacrifice and dedication/devotion.
Perhaps most importantly, being a family man takes leadership. The apostle Paul gave the Ephesians a model to follow by comparing the relationship of a husband and wife to that of Christ and the church. The husband was to be the leader. Paul used the term "head" in Ephesians 5:23 to designate the responsibility of leadership. The term undoubtedly referred to the matter of authority. To Paul, authority was given in order to fulfill responsibility. For Paul, responsibility without authority will not work.
The authority over the church is Jesus. The authority over the woman is the husband. So, Paul was saying that the ultimate responsibility for the home was the man. And Paul gave the specific responsibilities the man should live out.
First, he was to lead his wife and children in purity of life. Jesus was the role model Paul gave. And what an example! Jesus was "unblemished" and "pure." He had given himself to sanctify the church. Not only should the man lead his family in purity, but also he should provide for his home. "No man ever hateth his own flesh, but he nourisheth and cherisheth it" (Ephesians 5:29). So, Paul's emphasis lies in the fact that the man should lead his family into a wholesome experience of life where the basic needs were provided and purity was sought.
From the text, we see the kind of leader Paul had in mind. The husband was to be a loving leader. Paul designated the characteristics of this love. First, it was to be a sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25). Let's look at the text: "Christ loved the church and gave himself for it." The husband was to love in the same manner, as we see in Ephesians 5:28: "So ought men to love their wives." Second, the love was to be a supreme love, as we see in Ephesians 5:31. The family love is the greatest love and loyalty known to man. Paul said that the love a man has for his wife is to be unrivaled by any other.
Paul declares to the church at Ephesus (and thereby, to Christians today) that this kind of love is like the Savior's love. It is releasing! The Savior's love never enslaves but always releases us to become all that God intends for us to become.
When we ask God to grant us the grace and strength to become loving leaders in the home, our relationships with our wives will grow, deepen and transform into God's vision for marriage. As loving leaders, we will base our lives on the Scriptures, providing a positive example for our children to follow. We will dedicate ourselves to the development of our children's character, and the character of the family.
When God begins to transform us into loving leaders, we will know what it takes to become a "family man."
*
It was a summer day about 56 years in New Westminster. I stood there holding Dad's hand, looking longingly into the store display window.
In the window was the most beautiful doll I had ever seen - a Shirley Temple doll which would be won soon by a lucky raffle ticket holder. The doll was standing there, wearing a red dress and matching shoes and, over the dress, was a white fur coat. She was wearing a fur hat and a purse completed the outfit. Oh! I loved that doll so much! She also had a three-drawer dresser with fancy glass drawer knobs - the drawers were open and silk pyjamas, skirts, blouses, dresses, jackets, sandals, slips, and everything else a doll would need spilled out of the drawers and onto the display floor.
Dad would take me to town often just to look in the window and he'd always say, "You're going to win this doll". I could've looked at her all day. I decided I would name her Susan when she was mine.
The draw date came and went but the lovely doll wasn't mine and I can still remember that the store window was now empty.
Christmas was the event of the year at our home. Dad got more excited than anyone; he had the tree up early in December and every ornament went onto it so carefully - all the tinsel was hung one strand at a time. Mum filled the house with baking smells.
The big morning arrived at last. Dad always made sure we all went into the living room together - he liked to see the expressions on my and my little brother's faces.
The living room was in early morning dimness - Dad ran to turn the tree lights on. In the softly lit room, my dream came true. The beautiful doll was standing there in front of the tree in her fur coat and hat and the dresser with all her outfits, exactly as I had kept it in my memory. I can still remember all of my feelings when I saw my doll, Susan.
Dad turned 85 this year and I'd like to say a big "thanks" for my memorable Christmas so long ago.
Margot Orcutt
Delta, BC
A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?"
"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."
There was a long silence. Then the boy asked, "Daddy, are you talking to me?
three boys were talking about their fathers exelence. One of them said:my father is a great professor. When he is talking about a subject, only 10 persons in the world can understand him!The second boy said: my father is great brain surgeon, when he is talking about his surgery only 5 person in the whole world can realize what he is saying.The third boy said:my father is a pastor, when he is preaching nobody can understand what he is saying.
When our youngest, Brad, was just learning to walk and talk, my wife always knew when I had walked in the door from work. Karen said she would just hear this loud, one-word announcement from Brad, "DA!" Not "Daddy," not "Da-Da," just "DA"! And that's how Brad would greet me as I walked in. Karen said he actually would go to the door late in the afternoon and he'd begin looking for me. And when I finally arrived - say it with me now - "DA!"
Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Looking For Daddy."
My son went to the door looking for his father, and found one. Tragically, many people have gone looking for a father in their life - and there was no one there.
In fact, maybe for you the word "father" is a hurting word. In one way or another, your father wasn't there for you - physically, financially, emotionally, supportively. You went to the door, but there was no one there. That leaves an emotional deficit in a life that can make you feel incomplete, cheated, unexplainably lonely, trying to compensate for the lack of a father's love in countless ways, some that leave you even more scarred.
In our word for today from the Word of God, there is hope for someone who has never had the father they needed. Galatians 4:4-6, in God's Word - "When the time had fully come, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons." Now, God is showing us here the incredible possibility of actually belonging to our Creator in a deeply personal way - as a child in His family, with God Himself as your Father. Not like your earthly father. No, God is like the father we always wished we had, not the father we had.
God goes on to say here, "Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, 'Abba, Father.'" Now, in the Greek language this part of the Bible was written in, that "Abba" is a deeply affectionate word for Father, like "Daddy" or "DA!" See, God literally offers you, not a religion, not a rulebook, but a love-relationship with Him-the Creator God - as your Daddy.
Even if you've had a wonderful earth-father, there's still that sense of incompleteness, that sense that someone's missing. That's because someone is. See, there's a hole in your heart that can only be filled by this One who wants to be your Heavenly Father. He's always fair, always loving, always understanding what you're feeling, always dependable, always stronger than anything you're facing - always there for you.
We're missing our ultimate Father, not because He's left us, but because we've left Him. The Bible says, "Each of us has turned to his own way." (Isaiah 53:6) We are separated from God by all the sins of our life - every time we've done it our way instead of His way. That's why in the Scripture we read, "God sent His Son ... to redeem" us. God removed all doubt about whether or not He really loves you when He sent His one and only Son Jesus to pay your death penalty for your sin on the cross.
Now, I don't know how you picture God - whether He's waving a condemning finger at you, or His arms are folded, staring at you, or He's too busy for you. That might have been your earthly father, but it's not the Heavenly Father. His arms are wide open, waiting for you to come to Him.
The Father you've wanted your whole life becomes your Father when you put your trust in His Son Jesus to forgive all your sin. When you open up to God's Son, He makes you a daughter or a son of God. If you want to begin this Father-relationship, would you tell Jesus that?
The Father you've been looking for all these years is within your reach right now. You're almost home. You're almost complete. And once you begin this loving Father-relationship, whenever you go looking for your Father, He will be there!
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Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"
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Sermon in Colossians series. Colossians 3:20-21
ENCOURAGE OBEDIENCE
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I. Lesson of VBS - it is hard to control kids.
II. Children through history.
A. Place of children in ancient world.
B. Place of kids in our modern world.
C. Note that Paul directly addresses the children.
III. Obedience.
A. Family authority flows from the top down.
B. Are there limitations?
C. Doing what pleases the Lord.
IV. Who wields "The Belt"?
A. Paul turns the focus on fathers.
B. Fill in the gaps on how to discipline.
V. Fathers can have a positive role.
A. Be engaged without being overbearing.
B. Give them high values.
VI. How is your relationship with your Heavenly Father?
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Did you see the newspaper articles about the new study demonstrating that conservative evangelical fathers are more likely to be abusive, detached and isolated from their families?
No?
That's because that's not the conclusion found by a new study. If it were, one can be certain it would be an above-the-fold headline in the major daily newspapers across the nation.
Instead, the study, reported in the Journal of Marriage and Family, concluded that conservative evangelicals make better fathers than their secular counterparts. The study suggests that evangelical dads are far more likely to read with their children, eat dinner with them and engage in outside activities together. The Boston Globe reports that, according to the study, fathers in a nuclear family with "strong religious and community ties" are "most likely to show up at dinner and put their kids to sleep reading 'Goodnight Moon.'"
Of course, this data leaves some secular academics scratching their heads.
"Evangelical Protestant fathers, including Southern Baptists, are very involved with their children, which I found surprising, given their tendency to embrace traditional gender attitudes," University of Virginia sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, who conducted much of the research for the study, told The Washington Times.
Dr. Wilcox's reaction is predictable. Secular observers seem to wonder how people hold to such bizarre understandings of male headship and the complementary roles of men and women in the home. The sociologist asks himself why such "oppressive" views of gender roles and family life shouldn't produce homes seething with resentment and neglect. After all, wouldn't one expect that conservative evangelical dads would dismiss childrearing as "woman's work," while they attend Billy Graham crusades or uproot South American rain forests, or do, well, whatever it is that evangelical men do?
Perhaps there is another explanation. Perhaps evangelical fathers are more committed to their children, not in spite of their biblical understanding of the family, but because of it.
Perhaps this counter-cultural understanding of the father as protector and provider brings out something in men deeply ingrained in the warp and woof of creation, something reflecting the fatherhood of God himself (see Ephesians 3:14-15). Perhaps attention to the biblical mandate on gender roles also means attention to the biblical mandate that husbands lavish their wives (Ephesians 5:25-29) and their children (Ephesians 6:4) with love, nurture and kindness.
Ultimately, it does not really matter what sociological studies conclude, or whether academics and journalists pay attention. What matters more is where evangelical dads actually are, in the neighborhood or in the community barbershop or in the stands of the Little League ball field. The watching neighborhood children matter - those whose fathers prefer the golf course to the front lawn and watching "Monday Night Football" to reading Good Night Moon for the 700th time.
Perhaps, also, these unbelieving fathers will find the evangelical dad to be a strange phenomenon. Perhaps they will ask why. And maybe, just maybe, some of them will discover, not just what it means to be good fathers, but what it means to become sons of the only Father who can truly be called "good."
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The spotlight in society has fallen on women who choose to have a child, but not a husband. On one hand, the media has been telling the conservative voices to not bother single mothers. On the other hand, you see more and more articles about what happens when there is no father. One of the leading health officers in the United States has said, "The greatest issue facing us is fatherlessness." Isn't that surprising? Time magazine commented on women who choose the fatherless family: "They are bringing a child into the world with a hole at the center of his life where a father should be." I'm Ron Hutchcraft, and I'd like to have A Word With You about "My Father is Missing."
Our word from the Word of God comes from Luke 15. This is the familiar story of the prodigal son, who got his inheritance early from his father, went to a far country and spent it all, and ended up feeding pigs, and trying to eat with them. Verse 17 says, "When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death. I will set out and go back to my father, and say to him, Father I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father."
This is the story of a searching man whose real problem was that he was away from his father. Maybe that's a picture of you right now. In the story, God is the father, and God has told us He wants us to know Him as Heavenly Father. You say, "Well, if he is like the father I had, I'm not too interested." Well, remember this. God is not like the father you had on earth. He is like the father we all wish we had, and what you are feeling down deep in your soul is father lonely. We have a hole that we are waiting for a father to occupy. How do we lose Him, and how do we find Him? Look at the verbs in Luke 15. It says that the young man "set off for a distant country." The Bible says we have all done that. It says, "We have all sinned and fallen short of God's glorious ideal," and wandered away like sheep.
We are away from God by our own choosing. The next verb says, "He squandered his wealth." All your years away from God are squandered years. They are wasted years until you know the relationship with a father that you were made for. The next verb says, "He spent everything." You can do that so easily. We spend, in search of the missing part of us. We spend our self-respect, our relationships, our virginity, our reputation, and our future. We can not find ourselves in achievements, relationships, or pleasure. We spend everything, and then it says, "he longed to fill his stomach." Maybe you feel an awful emptiness inside that nothing has been able to fill.
Then we read, "He came to his senses." Maybe that is where God is bringing you right now. It is hard to live without God. It is hell to die without Him. It says that the son went up to his father. There is only one way you can get to the father you were made by and were made for. In John 14:6, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the except through me." What would happen if you came to Him today? It says that "while the boy was a long way off, his father saw him, was filled with compassion for him, and ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." That is the welcome you could get from God today. He runs to you with His arms open wide. Why don't you run to Him and be born into His family today? No longer will you have that hole in the center of your life where a father should be. No earth father could ever fill that hole anyway. It was made for your heavenly Father. Come to Him and you will never be father lonely again.
You can belong to God today on if you will tell Him with all your heart:
Lord, I've been running my own life, but I resign as of today. I was made by You ... I was made for you, but I've been living for me. I'm sorry for that self-rule You call sin. But I believe Your Son Jesus Christ paid my death penalty when He died on the cross. And right now I am turning from a life of "my way" and I am putting all my trust in Jesus Christ to erase my sin from Your book, to give me a relationship with You, and to get me to heaven. Lord, from today on, I'm Yours.
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Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"
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If he never did anything, why did I miss him so?
When I was a little kid, a father was like the light in the refrigerator. Every house had one, but no one really knew what either of them did once the door was shut.
My dad left the house every morning and always seemed glad to see everyone again at night.
He opened the jar of pickles when no one else at home could.
He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself.
He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood that whenever it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled.
He kept busy enough. He set mousetraps. He cut back the roses so the thorns wouldn't snag you when you came to the front door. He oiled my roller skates, and they went faster. When I got my bike, he ran alongside me for at least a thousand miles until I got the hang of it.
He signed all my report cards. He took a lot of pictures but was never in them. He tightened up Mother's sagging clothesline every week or so.
I was afraid of everyone else's father but not my own. Once I made him some tea. It was only sugar water, but he sat on a small chair and said it was delicious. He looked very uncomfortable.
Once I went fishing with him. I threw rocks into the water, and he threatened to throw me in after them. I wasn't sure he wouldn't, so I looked him in the eye for a whole year. I finally decided he was bluffing and threw in one more. He was a bad poker player.
Whenever I played house, the mother doll had a lot to do. I never knew what to do with the daddy doll, so I had him say, "I'm going off to work now," and threw him under the bed.
When I was nine years old, my father didn't get up one morning and go to work.
He went to the hospital and died the next day.
There were a lot of people in the house who brought all kinds of good food and cakes. We had never had so much company before.
I went to my room and felt under the bed for the father doll. When I found him, I dusted him off and put him on my bed.
He never did anything. I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.
It still does.
A little boy sat frustrated and near tears. He was trying to build a toy wagon, but he just could not get the wheels to go on. His dad came along, took the wagon and the four wheels and, in no time at all, had it rolling smoothly along. The boy was grateful for the loving and helpful touch his father added to his life. Though he is no longer a child, he still remembers his father's help that day.
It has been said that any man can be a father but that it takes a special kind of man to be a Dad! The ideal father does more than simply have a part in the procreation of the child, he helps to mold the child throughout his growing years through generous amounts of love, guidance, correction, forgiveness and praise. Fortunate are those who have had a father with whom they had such a personal relationship.
Whether or not this has been the case for you, this much is for certain: we can all experience the ultimate father-child relationship when we experience God as our heavenly Father.
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