02.06. Jerking Apart the Connection- Anger

Jerking Apart the Connection- Anger 1 Samuel 18:5-16; 1 Samuel 20:30-34 In the spring of 1894, the Baltimore Orioles came to Boston to play a routine baseball game. But what happened that day was anything but routine. The Orioles’ John McGraw got into a fight with the Boston third baseman. Within minutes all the players from both teams had joined in the brawl. The warfare quickly spread to the grandstands. Among the fans the conflict went from bad to worse. Someone set fire to the stands and the entire ballpark burned to the ground. Not only that, but the fire spread to 107 other Boston buildings as well.

Daily Bread, August 13, 1992.

    1 Samuel 18:5-16 And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. 6 And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of musick. 7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands. 8 And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? 9 And Saul eyed David from that day and forward. 10 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul’s hand. 11 And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it. And David avoided out of his presence twice. 12 And Saul was afraid of David, because the LORD was with him, and was departed from Saul. 13 Therefore Saul removed him from him, and made him his captain over a thousand; and he went out and came in before the people. 14 And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the LORD was with him. 15 Wherefore when Saul saw that he behaved himself very wisely, he was afraid of him. 16 But all Israel and Judah loved David, because he went out and came in before them.

    1 Samuel 20:30-34 Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother’s nakedness? 31 For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die. 32 And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said unto him, Wherefore shall he be slain? what hath he done? 33 And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David. 34 So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and did eat no meat the second day of the month: for he was grieved for David, because his father had done him shame.

We often hear about the angry white male, or that such and such is angry at America and therefore want to kill us. Road rage, child abuse, wife beating, murder, and many other things we can name are most times the result of anger. Anger is an emotion that if not handled correct can jerk apart our relationships and break the connections in our life that are most important to us. You may have heard it said that, Christians don’t get angry." This is not true however, all people get angry. Jesus got angry on more than one occasion. He was angry at the money changers in the temple. We can god back to the very beginning of civilization to the days of Adam and Eve to the story of Cain and Able found in Genesis 4:5-8 and find that Cain’s countenance fell when he was angry with his brother. It has been said, "The broad general rule is that a man is about as big as the things that make him mad." In our text today we see that Saul was angry at David and then at his own son Jonathan. As we look at the emotions of Saul we see several reasons that people get angry. We will look at the proper uses of anger and the proper things that we should be angry at.

Anger is a divinely implanted emotion. Closely allied to our instinct for right, it is designed to be used for constructive spiritual purposes. The person who cannot feel anger at evil is a person who lacks enthusiasm for good. If you cannot hate wrong, it’s very questionable whether you really love righteousness. - Dr. David Seamands Why Do We Get Angry?

    There are several reasons that men get angry. Notice with me the following.

A- Our Fallen Nature: Man has a nature that is fallen and is prone to anger and sin. Romans 5:12 "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned." The depravity of man is clear when we understand the Scriptures and the nature of men. It is in man’s nature to be a sinner and thus anger is part of our fallen nature.

    A gentleman in India domesticated a young tiger, which became playful and harmless like a kitten. One day while licking his master he drew blood and tasted it. At once, the tiger’s nature was aroused. His eyes glared; and he prepared to spring on his master. The gentleman shot him with a revolver. Men and tigers have much in common. We both posses a fallen nature.

B- Jealousy- 1 Samuel 18:7-9 "And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands. ⁸And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? ⁹And Saul eyed David from that day and forward."

    Saul is jealous of the songs the women about David’s victories in battle. Proverbs 6:34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. Jealousy is a cause of great anger.

C- Selfishness 1 Samuel 20:30-31 "Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother’s nakedness? 31 For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die."

    Jonathan would not carry on the line of Saul . Saul did not care as much about it for Jonathan as for himself. Jonathan was Saul’s way of carrying on his name. Saul was angry because of his selfishness and ego.

    Two children, a boy and a girl, played together a great deal. They both were converted to Jesus. One day the little boy said to his mother, "Mother, I know Emma is a Christian." "What makes you think so?" asked the mother. "Because she plays like a Christian. If you take everything she’s got she doesn’t get angry. Before, she was selfish; and if she didn’t get her way she would say, "I’m not going to play with you any more, you are an ugly boy."

D- Fear- 1 Samuel 18:12-15 And Saul was afraid of David, because the LORD was with him, and was departed from Saul. 13 Therefore Saul removed him from him, and made him his captain over a thousand; and he went out and came in before the people. 14 And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the LORD was with him. 15 Wherefore when Saul saw that he behaved himself very wisely, he was afraid of him.

    Sometimes when we face fear of the unknown we get angry because we do not feel in control. We also get angry at the fear of change. It upsets our routine and comfort and we react with anger.

E- Fabrications of our Minds- Ben Franklin said, "Anger always has a reason, just most of the time not a good one."

Saul was convinced in his heart that David was his enemy. Sometimes anger directed at another is because of the imaginations of our mind. We believe they did something when in fact they were not guilty of anything. Two times David could have killed Saul but spared his life. In a cave when Saul went in to relieve himself recorded in 1 Samuel 24. David and his followers were hiding. Also in 1 Samuel 26 when David caught the guards asleep and walked in to the camp of Saul and took his sword and water bottle. 1 Samuel 26:18 "And he said, Wherefore doth my lord thus pursue after his servant? for what have I done? or what evil is in mine hand?"

    David asked Saul what he thought David was guilty of. He was not guilty of anything by the way. David was only guilty in the mind of Saul.

A tiger in the jungle was hungry and smelled tow children as they slept in their straw hut. He entered the hut and came face to face with a mirror. He grew angry that another tiger was there so he roared, and snarled showing his teeth. The tiger in the mirror did the same. That made the tiger furious and he jumped at the tiger in the glass and broke it. That scared the tiger and he ran away. Sometimes we are angry because we have fabricated a hurt in our mind that someone is supposed to have done. We are growling at an imaginary tiger.

F- Conviction of our Wrong. 1 Samuel 20:32 And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said unto him, Wherefore shall he be slain? what hath he done? Saul was confronted with a question of why he was angry.

Someone said, "when a man is wrong and won’t admit it he always gets angry." Sometimes we get angry at someone who points out our wrongs because we don’t want to admit we are wrong. Many get mad at the preacher because he preaches on their sin. A little boy cried out in the field, "Hurray, Hurrah!" from the woods he heard a voice, "hurrah, Hurrah." "Where are you," cried the boy. "Where are you," answered the voice. "You are a foolish boy," he exclaimed. "You are a foolish boy," came the reply. He searched the woods to find the boy who had treated him so bad but could not find him. He went home and told his mother what the little boy had said to him. His mother told him it was simply his voice saying back what he was saying. You have betrayed you own self. So it is with anger at times. We are angry for what we are guilty of.

II- How do we handle anger?

    Brian Harbour, a pastor who publishes Brian’s Lines, said there are three principles on how Jesus handled anger. He knew how to get angry, "At the right time, at the right person, and for the right reason." I wish to add another point to this list, "Getting over the anger." One important thing we must realize is that we have a stewardship of anger.

A- Get angry at the right time. Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

    This means we should not fly off the handle at the least provocation. From 1 Samuel 20:33 we see Saul was a boiling pot ready to explode.

    Some people get angry regularly before there is a reason. Some walk around angry. Others have a reason to get angry but do not for a month, year or even ten years later. The time to get angry, if it is warranted, is when it happens. 1 Samuel 20:34 So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and did eat no meat the second day of the month: for he was grieved for David, because his father had done him shame.

    Jonathan had this type of anger when Saul wanted to kill David.

B- Get Angry at the Right Person. 1 Samuel 20:30-34 Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother’s nakedness? 31 For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die. 32 And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said unto him, Wherefore shall he be slain? what hath he done? 33 And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David. 34 So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and did eat no meat the second day of the month: for he was grieved for David, because his father had done him shame.

    Saul, who is angry at David, takes it out on his son, Jonathan. This is knows as "displacement." Some turn their anger in on themselves. They do harm to themselves or it causes depression, anxiety and guilt.

C- Get Angry for the right reason. Choosing what is important enough to get or be angry at is an important stewardship. Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15:35-37 parted ways because Paul refused to take John Mark with them on their second missionary journey. The reason Paul refused was because John Mark had deserted them on the first journey. Paul made a decision that this was something to be angry about. We must decide what is important enough to warrant our anger. After all someone who constantly rants and raves is seldom heard.

III- Plugging back in the connection- Getting over our Anger

Notice, Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Lets return to the story of the Apostle Paul and John Mark.

Notice 2 Timothy 4:11 Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry. Paul’s opinion of John Mark changed in later times. Paul was angry for a reason, when the reason was resolved no longer was he angry. We might say he did not hold a grudge. A man named Beecher said about the fire of anger, "The flame is not wrong but the coals are." It is easier to put out a candle or pile of leaves than to allow the fire to spread out of control on the mountain. It is misdirected anger and unforgiving anger that causes problems many times. Proverbs 15:1; Proverbs 15:18 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife. An author for Reader’s Digest writes how he studied the Amish people in preparation for an article on them. In his observation at the school yard, he noted that the children never screamed or yelled. This amazed him. He spoke to the schoolmaster. He remarked how he had not once heard an Amish child yell, and asked why the schoolmaster thought that was so. The schoolmaster replied, "Well, have you ever heard an Amish adult yell?" Reader’s Digest

    Proverbs 30:33 Surely the churning of milk bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife.

James in his epistle said, "For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." James 1:20 It is said of a preacher named Rev. Brewer Sepney,

"He was deaf when he could hear, Blind when he could see, Dumb when he could speak, That he extinguished all the fires he could, and never kindled any."

    Oh that we could be this kind of men and women for God’s glory.