In this sermon, the speaker shares a personal story about his son and the impact of his discipline. He emphasizes the importance of being a good father and raising children in a godly manner. The speaker also encourages believers to prioritize the interests of others and strive for unity in the body of Christ. He concludes by highlighting the significance of speaking the truth in love and the importance of fellowship within the church.

Let's pray. Lord Jesus, we're thankful that we can come together in this place, Lord, that you could meet us here, speak to us. Thank you that you've not forsaken us, but you've sent us. I pray, Father, that you would bless this morning, that you would anoint the reading of your scriptures, you would speak through our brother, give us a word that would encourage us and cause us to press on. Lord, I thank you for this fellowship that meets in your house. May it stay here, Lord, as long as you like and move us so that we wouldn't stay the same. I pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Our brother has come from a long ways, happened to be having some meetings in Seattle tomorrow and Sunday, so if you have the ability to go to Seattle to go in here, I would recommend it. It's been a blessing in the last 24 hours, not even 24 hours, to get to know our brother personally. We've emailed a little bit over the last year or two, a few, and for him to be willing to come and meet us. I know that the sisters are needing to have encouragement from a mature mother and a mature sister, and it would be gracious of you, Adam, to share with the mothers and the sisters because it's much lacking in our fellowship. Thank you. The Lord has blessed us with so much, blessed us materially and naturally in every way, but yet we are still lacking spiritually, and we're never going to be content with where we're at. We must continue to look to him who's the giver of life to move us and practice on. So I want to invite our brother to come and share with us what's in his heart, and we would open up our hearts to receive the word. Okay. I'm not used to shouting. Can you hear me in the back? Can you hear me in the back? Yes? Is that all right? Okay. Okay. First of all, there was one question left unanswered yesterday, and I'd like to answer that first, and that's concerning, and the question is, is there a possibility to have fellowship with and in the Holy Spirit, in the body of Christ, if we have hurt, if you have hurt a brother or sister and thought it better to tuck it away, I mean sort of hide it, don't talk about it, and to not acknowledge or look over. We must recognize that man is a moral creature, answerable to God, his creator, for all his actions, words, even attitudes and motives. One day when the Lord comes, it says he's going to judge us by the words we speak and the things we have done in our body, and it says especially he'll bring to light, 1 Corinthians 4, 5, the things that are hidden in darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts. So, we are answerable to God for our words, our actions, thoughts, motives, attitudes. All of that we have to answer to God for one day. So, if we are aware of some area where we have violated God's basic law, which is love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself, I mean God's going to judge all of us by that twofold law symbolized by the two arms of the cross, love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself, and wherever we have violated that law by word, action, motive, thought, attitudes, we are answerable to God. And the wonderful thing is God doesn't hold us responsible for some area where I have no light. I mean to use a very simple illustration, if I step back and stand on your foot without knowing it, God won't hold me responsible for that because I didn't know it. It's only the area where I'm conscious that God can expect me to confess my sin. I cannot confess a sin that I don't even know I did. There are two parts to our life, the conscious and the unconscious, and I'm answerable to God for that which I'm conscious of. The unconscious part, if I walk with God faithfully, more and more, I'll get light on the unconscious part, and then I can acknowledge sin. So I don't have to feel condemned because of areas that I have no light on. And all of us have different degrees of light. It's something like in school, someone's in second grade, third grade, fourth grade, tenth grade, somebody's at PhD level. None of us have become totally like Christ, but we get light little by little. Now the question is, out of all these sins which we confess to God, what are the sins we must confess to one another? Only the sins where we have hurt somebody. Now if I've hurt you, I have a responsibility to confess that to you because I've hurt you. I violated a law of love in a horizontal dimension. I don't have to confess it to the whole church. Sin must be confessed in the circle in which it is committed. Inside that circle, God is always there because all our sin is against God. But in addition to God, if I've sinned against the whole church, then I have to confess to the church. But if I've sinned against only one individual, I confess only to that one individual. There's no, I mean, some people teach public confession to humiliate people. It's the teaching of psychology. There's a lot of psychology in teaching. There's a lot of psychology that's come into Christendom today, and sometimes people who don't know the scriptures confuse scripture with psychology. It's not by humiliating us that we are free from sin. You know, a lot of people who talk about accountability, they talk about accountability partners, and they think they're going to be free from sin by that. You know, if I, I don't know how these works. I've never believed in it myself because I don't see it in scripture. If I see in scripture, I accept it. But the way it works sometimes is it's very prevalent in Christendom that you say, I'm going to be accountable to somebody. And say you watched internet pornography, you go and tell that brother, I watched internet pornography. And then that keeps you from doing it. What keeps you from doing it? Not the fear of God, but the shame of having to tell him again tomorrow, I watched it again. That's not holiness. True holiness is perfected in the fear of God, not in the shame that comes to me of having to confess something or the fear of man. It's a very subtle difference. It's, it's purity with the wrong motive. And so it's corrupt. I see you can have a good apple. And if it's held by a dirty infected hand, you don't feel like eating it and God won't accept it. So if the motive is bad, even if the action is good, it's corrupt in God's eyes. It's a dead work. So I mentioned that. So now coming to the matter of confessing something where you hurt somebody. I believe the whole purpose of horizontal confession to one another is to make the fellowship better. So you have to evaluate in my confessing this, is it going to make my fellowship better with this person or worse? Of course, if the other person knows that I have hurt him or hurt her, then I have to confess it because I have violated laws like when I hurt somebody, it's equivalent to stealing his money. I have to return it. Whether he knew it or not, even if somebody did not know that I stole his money, I'm still returning. But where it comes to supposing I have hurt somebody, but he doesn't know it at all. I need to evaluate, for example, supposing I spoke to someone, something not too good about you. Yeah, that's a sin against you because I've hurt your reputation. I've stolen, like stealing your money, I've stolen your reputation by tearing it down before somebody. It is a terrible sin. A lot of people don't think of that. Some of us would never steal one dollar or one cent from another person, would steal their reputation by saying things which are not, even if they are true. We have taken away somebody's reputation. Do you know when the Bible says the devil is the accuser of the brethren? He doesn't go and tell God, Zach murdered somebody. I mean, the devil tells us lies, but he dare not tell lies to God. Every accusation the devil makes to God is 100% true. He dare not make a false accusation against me or against anybody else. So, what I'm trying to say there is, you can have the spirit of accusation even when you say something true about another person. Because when the devil is called the accuser of the brethren, he's speaking every word that's true. When he says so and so did this, he can't try and fool God. So, that's what I've learned, where I learned that you can say something true, absolutely true about a person, but what is the motive? The motive is to tear down that person in the other person's eyes. That's the motive of the devil. When he speaks the truth to God, that person's like this, he's trying to tear him down. When he spoke about Job and said, Job, ah, he's only serving you because you blessed him in so many ways. To tear down Job in God's eyes. Now, God's not going to be fooled by Satan, but sometimes we can succeed in tearing down somebody's reputation before another by speaking the truth and we satisfy ourselves, well, what I said was true. Well, the devil also says that what I said to God was true, but what was your motive? There are times when we need perhaps to tell someone, if it's an elder brother, about somebody in the church who's doing something wrong. That would not be called accusation. Like I've said to people in my church, if you see a brother drunk somewhere in our church, if you come and tell me about that, that would not be an accusation because I could do something about it. I could help him or speak to him and help him to be free from it. And your motive in telling me would be to help that person. That's not the spirit of accusation. But if you go and speak about it to others who can't even help that person just to tell the guy, the drunkard, that becomes accusation. It's a question whom you say it to. So, it's motive ultimately that determines whether you're accusing or helping. So, there are times when it may not be wise to confess something to someone if the person's ignorant about it altogether. Because if you sense that it could make matters worse if that person knew about it when he's completely ignorant about it right now. I'm not talking about stealing money or things like that, but that we have to return because I must not have a cent in my possession which doesn't belong to me. Whether it belongs to the government or somebody else, I must give it back. But when it comes to confessing that I've hurt you in some way, in a way you don't even know about, I need to make sure whether you can handle that. Is it going to deepen our fellowship? In some cases it does. But you need to seek God about it. I'm not saying, I'm just saying don't follow a standard rule. I'm always going to do it. Seek God about it. But always remember we must build fellowship with people. And that is the goal. And we shouldn't try to just cover it up. If you hurt somebody you need to go to that person. Jesus said that very clearly in Matthew chapter 5. He's speaking about anger. He said murder, anger is like murder. And that's Matthew 5 verse 21 to 23. Just by the way the Sermon on the Mount is the replacement of the Old Testament law. People have asked me this, did Jesus abolish the law? Well in one sense we can say he didn't. But he said in Matthew 5 17, I did not come to abolish the law. I came to fulfill it. And having said that in Matthew 5 17, he went on to say, but I want to tell you that the righteousness I'm talking about, verse 20, is way above the righteousness which you've heard from the Pharisees of the Ten Commandments. I haven't come to abolish the Ten Commandments. I've come to enhance the level of it and tell you what it really meant. So that when you read in the Ten Commandments, you shall not kill. I'm telling you that means you shouldn't get angry. That's what he says further down in verse 21 onwards. When you read in the Ten Commandments, you shall not commit adultery. I'm telling you what it really means. That you shouldn't even lust in your heart because that's adultery. When God told you to love your neighbors, and hate your enemy, you know, verse 43, you've heard it said you shall love your neighbor but hate your enemy. Well there wasn't a real commandment to hate your enemy. They're sort of accepted that they didn't understand who their neighbor was. So that's because their hearts were hard. You know, God, Jesus once said that you're permitted to divorce because your hearts are hard. Because your hearts are hard, you're permitted to hate your enemy. But I've come to raise the standard so that you never divorce and you don't hate anybody. So the Ten Commandments, we can say Moses went up to the mountain and brought Ten Commandments. Jesus went up to the mountain and preached the Sermon on the Mount. So if you're living under the old covenant, you keep the Ten Commandments. Then you should call yourself by your rightful name. You must say I'm not a Christian, I'm a Jew. I'm an Israeli. I'm not following Jesus, I'm following Moses. I keep the Ten Commandments. We must be honest about it, not pretend. If we say we are under the new covenant, then we're following Jesus, then we keep the Sermon on the Mount. If an Israeli did not keep the Ten Commandments, he was violating the old covenant, whichever commandment it was. So a Christian goes back to the old covenant and the Ten Commandments and says that's what I keep. I should then be honest about it and say you're an Israeli and you're following Moses. Don't bring the name of Jesus into it. Because Jesus on the mountain preached the Sermon on the Mount. So that's our standard. And that's the way we fellowship. And here Jesus said if you're angry with somebody and you went and said something to him. Now if it was only in your heart. You know there are three stages here. Matthew 5.22. Jesus spoke of when anger is the first of three steps to hell. First step is it's only in your heart. Anger always begins in the heart. You haven't said anything to anyone. You don't have to confess it to anyone. But you have to confess it to God. Because it is in your heart. But then you know whatever is in the heart if you don't deal with it. It bubbles over and it bubbles over through the mouth. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. And you go to that person and you say something to him. I mean these are Hebrew Aramaic words. And the important thing is not what these words mean. The important thing is you expressed your anger to that person in some way. You're guilty. More guilty than when you had it in your heart. When you had it in your heart you were guilty before the court. When you expressed it you guilty at a higher level. And if you still felt that was not enough and you went in you know went further and said something really hurting to him. Much worse degrading him as if he were not a human being. You can be guilty enough to go to hell. You know that most Christians don't believe that verse. I have sometimes thought of when I get a little time writing a book containing not a single sentence of mine but just Bible verses. The title of the book is verses that Christians don't obey. I want to write a book like that. It will only be verses. One of them will be this. That you can go to hell. Go and express yourself like that in anger. A lot of Christians don't believe it. Verses Christians don't believe. But this is what Jesus said and I believe it with all my heart. And there it says now when you come one day to pray verse 23 and there you remember that you hurt this person by your anger or by something you said or did or behaved some way you conducted yourself. Don't pray. Stop. Don't put your money in the offering box. God won't accept it. Don't pray. Stop. Go back to that person. Set it right and then come and pray. Where does this begin in husband-wife relationships first of all? Because that's the area where we can hurt one another sometimes many times a day and just take it lightly and say oh that's after all my wife or that's after all my husband. That's someone whom God created. You're answerable to God if you hurt one of his creations. It doesn't matter who it is. I mean you wouldn't speak like that to a judge in a court because you'd be charged with contempt of court. But we can be more afraid of a judge in a court charging us with contempt of court and almighty God saying you violated the law of love in your home or in your relationship with a person. This shows us what how serious it is our words. Sometimes we don't realize how serious our words are. We all know Romans 4 that we are justified by faith and perhaps those of us who are not Calvinists know James chapter 2 as well that we are justified by works. Do you know that you are justified by your words as well? In fact when Jesus spoke about justification he didn't speak about justification by faith or by works. He said Matthew 12 37 you'll be justified by the way you speak. That's pretty serious. In the final day your words are going to either justify you or condemn you. Another of those verses Christians don't believe. How many of you can honestly say that you believe in the final day when you stand by the Lord before the Lord. The words you spoke to your husband or wife are going to determine whether you're going to be justified or condemned. Where would you stand in that day? Okay you're standing before the Lord. The Lord says okay I'm going to play an audio tape or a video tape of all the words you spoke at home to your husband or wife. The ones you did not confess. Everything that's confessed is cleansed in the blood but the ones you did not confess. Here's a video recording of all the words you spoke to your husband or wife which you never asked forgiveness for. Now we're going to determine whether you should be justified or condemned. I tell you honestly 99.9 percent of Christians don't believe that. They don't believe the bible. They say they don't believe it. I've learned to take it very seriously because he said in verse 36 every single careless word that you speak you'll render account for it in the day of judgment. Another verse that most Christians don't believe that every single careless word, word that hurts someone, you will give an account in the day of judgment. Word that hurts someone to that person's face or behind his back, we're going to give an account in the day of judgment. If the motive was good God will forgive you but if the motive was not good well I hope you'll escape but I doubt it very much. By your words you'll be justified. By your words you'll be condemned and if we can acknowledge going backwards to verse 35 that the reason why that word came out is because deep down there's evil. Out of the evil treasure comes forth what is evil and verse 34 the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. So I can go and confess to someone and say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you but if I don't deal with the evil that produced that I'm going to be doing it again and again and again and again and again and that's not God's work. God Jesus came to lay the axe to the root of the tree. He didn't come with a pair of scissors to just snip off the fruit every time it appears. You see that's confession is a pair of scissors. Okay I'm sorry one more bad fruit and half an hour later another bad fruit cut it off. He came with an axe and most Christians just go around with a pair of scissors. Confession is just a pair of scissors. It's good. We need to get rid of the bad fruit but if Jesus came with an axe to solve the problem at root level. I compare external confession and inward dealing with sin like supposing you have sores in your body and there's some ointment that cures it. Okay you've got a sore you put the ointment and it goes off. Praise the Lord for the ointment but then it comes up here. I put it there and goes off then comes on my leg and then one day the doctor tells me hey listen do you know there's a new antibiotic that's discovered which will deal with the root of this problem. It's causing these sores and if you take it follow my prescription you'll be free from it. It won't come out at all. Wouldn't you accept it? That is grace. That's the difference between new covenant and old covenant. Deals with the root of the problem instead of constantly having to deal with oh it's come out again it's come out again it's come out again. Are you one of those constantly confessing the same sin again and again and again? I want to tell you the good news there's an antibody that can deal with the root of the problem in today's language. Well like John the Baptist said an ax to the root of the tree and pulls it out by the root. It's painful but the Lord can help you to come into that life. There's a very lovely illustration of this in a book by C.S. Lewis. I forget which book it is but I don't remember it exactly but it was this man who had this ugly chameleon or lizard some of those hideous lizards sitting on his shoulder. It's a picture of some lust symbolizing some lust and he's become this has become his pet. You know you could apply it to pornography or some lust that's become your pet. You know it's dirty you know it's ugly but it's become your pet and so there's an angel standing there and says get rid of it. This lizard says don't throw me away we're good friends you know we've been friends for many years and I promise to behave myself and all that and so you keep it. And the angel says and so I'm torn between this man's torn between two desires to get rid of it or to keep it and and he says to the angel why don't you pull it away from me. He says no I cannot do it until you permit me. If you don't permit me I won't do it and finally he shuts his eyes and says okay go ahead and do it and the angel pulls it and it tears the skin it's painful because you know the chameleon has got such a grip on his shoulder he tears it and pulls it away and the angel throws it down into the ground and it's immediately converted into a beautiful white horse and the angel says now you don't have to walk you can ride on this you can go much faster than you've gone all your life. You understood the parable you know how much those lusts that we tolerate whether it's bad speech or dirty thoughts or pornography or lusting or whatever habit it is some retained bitterness some selfish way of life some pride you don't know how much is destroying you and how much is hindering your progress if you get if you allow the lord to get rid of it from your life it will be converted into a horse a stallion that could make you go speeding in the christian life. It's a great parable so if you take some of these things mentioned in Matthew 5 6 and 7 seriously and say lord I really want this for example when it speaks about speaking the truth it's not enough you know the old testament didn't there was no law in the old testament saying you shall not tell lies it was not one of the ten commandments one would think that the lord should have put a commandment like that you must not tell a lie but there is no commandment in the ten commandments it says you shall not tell a lie what the commandment was you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor and that reminds me of a court in other words when you put your hand on the bible make sure you speak the truth but jesus said whether your hand is on the bible or not you must speak the truth all the time in your heart your yes must always be yes and your no must always be no if you promise something for example I remember years ago I had something in my house that I wanted to sell it was fairly expensive but I didn't know what its value was it was some musical instrument I think if I remember I'm not sure exactly how it's been many years ago and I promised to give it to some brother and we arrived at a figure and he came a few days later and by then I discovered that his value was way above what I had offered it for what to do now the lord said your yes must be yes and your no must be no I didn't say a word to him I said take it that's the price I offered it he did I have never regretted it sometimes we can be so calculating and get a little more money and lose our soul what shall it profit a man who gains the whole world and loses his soul your yes must be yes your no must be no like it says in one of the psalms one who will swear to his own hurt I think it's psalm 15 who will dwell in the holy hill of the lord that means uh in the living bible I think it says one who keeps a promise even if it ruins him I love that one who keeps his word even if it ruins him I gave you my word I'll keep it that's new covenant standard your yes is yes your no is no and he extremely carefully said in Matthew 6 that when you pray try your best not to let anybody know how much you pray you see that's what disturbs me about all the people who tell others how many hours they pray I say you know you're not supposed to tell have you read Matthew chapter 6 I find most Christians just don't take many commandments in the bible seriously now somebody discovered it that's another thing but we must never tell another person how much you give how much you pray how much you fast never let it be known these are we're going to do these things without letting anybody know that's Matthew 6 or many other things in the sermon on the mount is it possible to live according to this in fact this and many other things there which finally Jesus said that this is the way to a rock steady christian life completely unshakable you know the bible speaks about the power of an indestructible life I like that expression in hebrews 7 that the new covenant life is an indestructible life hebrews 7 16 he's comparing the old covenant with the new covenant and he says in the old covenant you could become a priest by a law of physical requirement that means no matter how spiritual you were if you didn't if you were not born of the tribe of Levi you just could not be a priest sorry you could be the most spiritual person in Israel you can't be the high priest unless you're born of the tribe of Levi that is a physical requirement and unfortunately even in christendom today people are given ministries on the basis of some external abilities eloquence cleverness knowledge theological degrees or nepotism sometimes somebody just promotes his son or relatives so many ways in which people are given ministries it's all old covenant the law of an external requirement but he said in the new covenant it's your ministry in your service to god based on the power of an indestructible life hebrews 7 16 the measure in which i have a life that cannot be destroyed that's the measure of my ministry and whether my life can be destroyed or not is tested in moment of temptation when i'm tempted at home when i'm tempted in relation to my co-workers when i'm tempted in relationships in the church with other brothers and sisters when i'm tempted in relationships with people who are fundamentally different from me whose views are completely opposite to mine when i have to fellowship with strong brothers who disagree with me 100 percent not on essentials but on the way we should do things do i have an indestructible life that can remain calm and not get upset yeah it's for myself as one who is an elder one of the verses that's been a guideline for me for many years in my relationship with as i speak as i deal with people is this verse in the book of joe one verse is this joe 36 verse 5 where it says god is almighty but does not despise anyone the closer we get to god the less people despise people the devil despises everybody i look at it like this the devil's over there he despises everyone god's over here almighty he despises nobody and all of us are somewhere in between you know the closer you get to god the more you come to a place where you despise nobody you don't despise a person for his language culture behavior temperament nothing you may disagree but you don't despise god disagrees with most people in the world but he doesn't despise anyone it's a wonderful verse and i cannot serve people if i despise them i cannot have fellowship if i despise for example you know you you may think that you love your wife a lot but sometimes it's possible there's something in her which you don't like see i love you lots but there's something i don't like in you got to get closer to god that's all that's the solution you're hoping she will change or he will change no god's waiting for you when you get closer to god you despise nobody remember that you you you don't tolerate sin but you're willing to bear with people who are different and do rub you the wrong way that's fine you don't get upset over it you don't get irritated you don't meditate on it you don't think about it that's one verse that in all our ministry and fellowship when we seek to build fellowship the great thing about the new convent is fellowship we must learn to build fellowship with one another otherwise we never be the body of christ we'll be bunch of holy individuals sitting in one building that's not god's will even if we preach holiness in a church the church which started with four people is now 400 people four individuals have become 400 individuals god's not happy it's unity that builds the body dissimilar people dissimilar people becoming one just like a body is formed in a mother's womb how is a body formed in a mother's womb two dissimilar units a sperm and an egg completely different from each other decide to unite and that's the beginning of a body it's way teeny weeny little thing that's the beginning of a body and that becomes four cells eight cells sixteen cells but always united it's not size that determines a body you know a lot of people who are pro-life and fighting against abortion look at the abortions they themselves do in their churches with the way they behave much worse aborting the building of a body look at the abortions there are in husband wife relationships god's seeking to make two people one and we do things and say things it's no different from that abortion doctor doing an abortion it's just the same god's trying to make that little embryo in a mother's womb become a body some doctor goes and kills it what's the difference between that and god bringing two people together to build the body of christ and somebody destroying it with his speech or language or conversation or backbiting or whatever or is lording it over people as if he's some type of self-appointed authority or profit over people he's an abortion doctor too people don't see that husbands and wives who are so pro-life they will not abort a baby but they abort their relationship with each other that's abortion it's a relationship where god wants to make something one and they boast we are pro-life you're not you're aborting a relationship that god is trying to build with your words your words are like that surgeon's knife cutting that little baby so don't boast about being pro-life if you are not pro-spiritual in relationships first of all at home and then in that little local church that god's trying to build as one body i remember the early years you know when we started we were just four families and two of them left we were left with two and then that brother and i are still together after 36 years never one single day we had a conflict or a fight where we wouldn't speak with each other it never happened god united us though we disagreed in different areas disagreement is not disunity but i remember in those early days when different people started coming to our church little by little and we're trying to build a body i remember dealing with a brother who was very very unpunctual if he if he had an appointment for a particular time i could almost certainly say he wouldn't be there at that time and this bothered me after 11 years in the all worked up in my mind and when he came and apologized of course i would say oh that's okay i don't mind you coming being a perfect hypocrite and the lord spoke to me and said you must not have an inward judgment of his weakness he was not in the military like you um you happen to have he's got some strong points but you don't have and that and the lord said i'm trying to make you both one with each other i'm trying to make all of you one with each other and if you have these inward judgments of other people you're not going to become one body and i learned how it's not just externally appearing to be one it's an inward attitude of a relationship i really want to be one with my wife not that outwardly i don't fight with her or raise my voice and inwardly i'm irritated with some of her mannerisms or the same thing applies in the church i'm inwardly irritated with this guy's behavior and mannerisms but i can restrain myself and keep fellowship and that's not fellowship it's it's second best i agree i'm not saying it's bad i'm saying it's secondary it's not god's best you know jesus said i pray that there may be one father as you and i are one jesus wasn't irritated with the father and always trying to hold it within no there was such a beautiful relationship do you know that that's the type of relationship he wants to have in the body it is a thing which is impossible under the covenant impossible that's why paul says this is a mystery hidden from ages yeah let me come to the second verse sometimes i get carried away and forget about what i was going to say yeah the second verse in joke is joke 32 and um sorry 33 joke 33 and verse 7 which the lord spoke to me as a servant of the lord and in seeking fellowship with one another joke 33 7 no fear of me should terrify you nor should my pressure weigh heavily on you think of those two statements i would encourage you to remember that verse by heart memorize it it's a great verse husbands tell your wives no fear of me should terrify you my pressure should not weigh heavily on you wives should tell husbands that no fear of me should terrify you you know there are husbands who are terrified of their wives unless they do something a little upset then nor should my pressure weigh heavily on you pressure weigh heavily on you know that means indirectly you're putting a pressure there you don't see anything but it's just the way you conduct yourself you make your wife do something or you make your husband do something by a sort of a pressure if you don't do it i'll be upset don't say that but my long face or whatever it is shows it just because you didn't raise your doesn't mean your fellowship it's a much deeper thing than that the unity of the body is like the unity of i told you these two dissimilar units that become one and they become four in four cells eight cells sixteen cells the moment the unity breaks in those cells it's a miscarriage there's no baby that's the end of the baby size doesn't matter you don't have to be a mega church to be the body of christ that teeny weeny embryo which you see under a microscope that's a body but this full-formed baby in the mother's womb whose heartbeat is gone it's not a bit it's not about his death so it's not size people are impressed by a mega church i say all that the doctor looks for in a mother's womb is not how big it is does it have a life is its heart beating and so to build that type of fellowship this is a very important verse i should not terrify people by my making them be afraid of me my pressure must not weigh heavily on people and that can happen as a leader i remember once the lord telling me from john 17 what is spiritual authority there's a lot of teaching on spiritual authority and christendom which is one person lording it over another and there are enough verses you can find in the bible which says submission is a very important principle yes submission is a very important principle i agree but who am i supposed to submit to can i submit to the authority of someone who i have no confidence in well if i'm part of that church in all church matters i can submit to them i've said that to people in our own churches you know the churches being planted don't all have the same quality of maturity and leadership obviously when paul planted a new church and appointed elders they didn't have the same maturity he had in fact the church in corinth did not have mature elders that's why when they had a problem there and sister cloyd you read about sister cloyd in 1 corinthians 1 these elders are not able to handle it and so she and her husband discussed this and said well all types of problems going on here the guy living with his father's wife sleeping with her and elders are doing nothing about it we better write to paul see that's the wonderful thing of those early churches they had someone they could refer to and so she wrote to paul with her husband's approval the family she's called a family employee in 1 corinthians 10 have written to me and told me that a lot of problems there you know and that's how he deals with those issues in 1 corinthians 1 no the whole corinthians first letter of corinthians and do you know who you have to thank for that wonderful chapter 1 corinthians 13 sister cloyd when you get to heaven be sure to thank her there would have been no 1 corinthians if she had not written to paul and that had been my grace is sufficient for you what a wonderful word second there would be no second if there was not a one it's because this sister appealed to paul that she didn't have confidence that her own elders could solve the problem but i'm sure i mean local matters church matters we submit to authority whether they are mature or not but submission is different from having confidence so i've told people in our churches in a new church when i find an elder i say an elder is a relative statement please remember that and i have a favorite saying a one-eyed man is king among the blind so please remember that you're a king because the others are blind and you got one eye don't suddenly have high thoughts about yourself and if some of these people in your church develop two eyes they will qualify to be elders and you let it go and sit in the back but i tell the brothers in the church in church matters because this guy is relatively more mature than you in matters relating to the local church but you may not have confidence in him to consult him in spiritual matters then you must write to some other brother contact some other brother you have confidence in who can guide you there's nothing wrong in that that's not a lack of submission an elder brother does not have to control every detail of your life that's the wrong teaching authority and that's in that connection the lord showed me john 17 what authority did jesus have john 17 verse 2 he says to his father father you gave me authority over all mankind what for to give them eternal life and the lord showed me the only authority you have as an elder is to lead people to the life of god eternal life is another expression for the of god my authority is to not make them obey me no i have no interest in making people obey me i have publicly said to people in our church dear brothers you do not sin if you disobey me you sin if you disobey god john Wesley said that to his followers too he was a great man of god he said to his followers you don't sin if you disobey me you sin if you disobey god i've always taken that position as an elder to elders and as an elder to believers the only authority i have is to lead you to the life of god jesus came with that authority you have given him authority over all mankind especially to those whom you have given him that's in my case my local church or in his case 11 people what for that you may give them eternal life lead them to this life in god and you know where you have such leadership there'll always be a wonderful church because leaders with this type of authority will produce other leaders with this type of authority who will produce other leaders with this type of authority we produce after our kind you know it says dogs produce dogs and cats produce cats right from genesis chapter 2 onward each after his kind mango trees produce mango trees seeds and coconut trees produce coconut trees coconuts and seeds etc so we produce after our kind a money-loving preacher will produce a multitude of money and if you one who seeks who says how i'm not going to terrify anybody no fear of me and my pressure will not weigh heavily on anyone it's so important you know all of us as fathers think of you have children the type of children you're going to produce is they look at you as a father i i have four boys they're all born again and when they were children i said lord they're my children i one day i want them to be my brothers in christ every one of them i will not be satisfied if every all for them become my brothers in christ and i can deal with them as brothers and they can deal with me not just as a father but as a brother in christ and that's the place i have come to with all my four boys and i'm very thankful for that we can talk as brothers in christ we can talk about spiritual things we can talk about building the church and i see that my authority as a father over them was to lead them to a life in god not to let my pressure weigh heavily on them but to be friends with them when they are children small children they're under law and naturally my pressure will weigh heavily on them in more ways than one because they're under law when they are little children but they're not going to be little children forever they grew up i remember once when one of my boys uh tried to fool me not in a very serious matter but in he went to play cricket for the school when i he thought i would force him to go to the class because he was representing the school team and he was afraid i'm gonna let him go but he thought i may not so he pretended he was going to school took his bag and had his cricket uniform packed inside it went and by the time he came back from school i discovered it he was what 16 or so and so when he came back he knew that i discovered it so i said son we got to talk about this now let's go into the other room and he came there trembling and i said okay in the old days when he was nine or ten years old he knew what i did so i said let's kneel down and pray and i said heavenly father please show me where i have failed as a father that my son should try and fool me this season and my arms around him while i was praying helped me to be a better father in jesus name amen i said okay son you can go now that's all that's it 10 years later when he was speaking to young people in our church he said that did more good to me than all the spankings i've ever got in my life i'm very thankful that all my four sons have said to me dad you're a hero we want to be like you we want to bring up our children like you brought us up i tell you it's my joy is complete i can say like simeon lord yourself a servant can depart in peace now because my eyes have seen your salvation dear brothers and sisters fathers and mothers don't let your pressure weigh heavily on those whom god has given you authority over yeah they first belong to god and only then to you always remember that and of course if you failed i also failed i'm not saying i've did it perfectly always i tried to where i failed i apologized to my children also i failed as a father and i'm going to apologize to my as a husband apologized to my wife i failed even as an elder in a church and i have led my church in years ago into legalism and i publicly confessed my sins brothers i'm sorry in my zeal i led you down legalistic paths but i who took you into the pit i'm going to take you out every one of you i will not leave you there bring you under true grace so there's nothing wrong in acknowledging error and nothing wrong in saying in some areas i don't know i'll never forget the story i heard about a student who asked his college professor a question and the college professor said we can't well i can answer that in three words i don't know and those three words have been very helpful to me in many situations to answer questions and that student said my respect for that professor shot up that day because i could realize then that whatever he spoke about i could rely on completely because he only spoke about what he was sure of it's so important as fathers mothers as elders leaders that we don't give people impression we've got all the answers we know everything there's nothing wrong in saying that one i can answer in three words i don't know there's another thing i learned when i was in the navy when a senior officer asked me a question i would stand at attention and say i don't know that sir he said to me this is the other side of what i just said he said don't ever say i don't know say i'll find out sir i don't know is the answer of a lazy man i don't know and i'm not interested in finding out he said that should never be your answer i don't know but i'll find out sir the answer to that so that's the other aspect of it when people have asked me something my immediate answer is i don't know but i go home and i say lord there's something there that talks me i want to find out what's it what's the answer to that so there's always seeking for a better way but remember this that god's ultimate goal is not as i said to produce a bunch of holy individuals sitting together in a church and praising him on sunday mornings and listening to messages and having lunch together and going home no he's interested in making one and if you want to know how difficult it is for god to make two people people one just go and ask any husband and wife anyone is it easy for you to become one and if they are honest they'll tell you it's not so easy imagine gathering a whole lot of dissimilar people in a church i'm trying to make them one it's a task only god can do and i'm very thankful that jesus did not tell me to go and build his church very thankful he said i will build my church from matthew 16 18 and the church i built the powers of spiritual darkness the gates of hell will never prevail against it so when i see churches disintegrating and the devil prevailing in their midst the pastor falling into adultery and chaos and confusion and strife i say well that's certainly not the church jesus is building because the devil seems to be running all over the place he seems to have power over there and the elders are helpless when the devil's running the show that's not the church jesus building but jesus is building his church and one of the words that is of verses that's been of great help to me in the last 35 years as we have sought to build churches in india has been this lovely verse referring to jesus in isaiahs chapter 9 verse 6 a child will be born to us referring to jesus a son will be given to us his name will be wonderful counselor mighty god etc prince of peace but that little expression in the middle the government will rest on his shoulders and that's the words i've often quoted to the lord as i've to deal with different problems that have come up in churches or even in our home this could apply even to a father and mother as you're seeking to build up a build a home where you bring up your children in godly ways um lord the government is on your shoulders not on my shoulder so whenever i get an email or a phone call or a letter saying there's a problem in some particular church which i have responsibility for i fall on my face before god and say lord this is not my business this is your business you're the proprietor this store belongs to you this is your business from top from beginning to end top to bottom i'm just a servant here tell me what to do i'll do it tell me what should i say to this person what should i not say tell me how to deal with this and i'll deal with it the way you tell me you tell me keep quiet i'll keep quiet the government is on your shoulder i it's too heavy for me to take on my shoulders i've seen elders and preachers who looks as if the government is on their shoulder you hear christian workers and missionaries having nervous breakdowns that's because they took the government on their shoulders it's impossible to have a nervous breakdown cost your burden on the lord and he says cost your burden on the lord and he'll sustain you so it's very important there are a lot of problems that can arise in building a home or building a church or building a relationship with husband and wife seeking to be one but remember to cast the burden on on the lord the government is to be on his shoulder not on mine please turn to ephesians in chapter two ephesians is the great book letter that deals with building the church as a body and this is god's ultimate goal like i said earlier not 400 people sitting holy individuals that may excite you everyone in our church is holy they are free from conscious sin great but are they one with each other if not god's purpose is not fulfilled like i remember uh in a humorous way a christian saying i don't want to be a saint some of these things are so hard to get along with lord just make me a good christian some of these holy people are so hard to get along with but they're so conscious of their holiness yeah i've come across in my life you know i've tried to understand holiness for many years to study the scriptures and also in going into certain groups that preached holiness thinking they'd have the answer i'll tell you honestly some of these so-called saints are hard to get along with jesus is very easy to get along with jesus he was the holiest of all why is it some people who preach holiness are so difficult to get along with that pressure weighs heavily on you and if you ask yourself if you're preaching holiness whether it's hard to get along with ask your wife ask your husband i'm not talking about compromise jesus never compromised but i see that sinners flock to him and the pharisees who did not have one percent of his holiness sinners were scared of going to them now you think a dirty sinner would rather go to some person who's less holy than to somebody who's more holy certainly i mean if my shirt is full of dirt i'd like to be in the midst of other people whose shirts are dirty not in the standing with someone whose shirt is absolutely clean it might filth would stand out so naturally speaking one would think sinners to move towards the pharisees and not towards jesus but they scare the pharisees they went to jesus because he didn't tolerate their sins but it was truth with grace that's real holiness doesn't just true the glory of god was seen in jesus christ full of grace and truth and that that's the beautiful balance just like god has made our body bones and flesh that's truth and grace bones are like truth you can't bend it firm do you know we need bones otherwise we'd be like we wouldn't be able to stand and unfortunately we have a lot of evangelic fish in the world today who don't have any conviction who don't stand up for the truth because they are afraid to reduce the numbers of our church so they want to please everybody i said they're evangelic fish but we need bones but the pharisees were like that just for the truth and when you got near a pharisee it's like on a dark night you see a skeleton walking towards you you don't exactly feel like going up and hugging that person you feel like running the opposite direction so that's exactly how people felt when the pharisees came up but jesus had more bones than the pharisees he had more truth than the pharisees he had every single bone a human being supposed to have all of god's truth people came to him because it was covered over with flesh the bones were not visible every bone but not one bone visible grace covering truth that is true holiness that's true christianity i've often thought that if you were living in nazareth if i was living in nazareth and i heard of this carpenter who seems to be a good man i don't know i don't know he's the son of god yet but he didn't manifest anything when he was in nazareth of who he was and i go to meet him and say hey i'd like to spend a little time with this man and i spent half an hour with him have you ever thought of that supposing you were living in when jesus was around 25 years old and you spent half an hour with him and you come away what would be the impression that he would form on you it's important to know that because i want to know whether i'm creating that impression on other people who meet me that's why you need to know the answer to that would you come away awestruck by his holiness he feels so small i don't think so i think you've come away saying boy what a humble man i've never met a humble man i think that's the impression i would get being with jesus he wouldn't over all of me with his holiness now there are worldly churches where nobody overalls anybody with holiness but the danger is in churches that preach holiness if people encounter you you who are preaching the highest standard of holiness do they encounter holiness or humility it's a test we cannot build the body without humility it's humility that brings unity it's always pride that divides it's not doctrine it's pride that brings division whether it's between a husband and wife or between brothers and sisters humility brings let me turn to that before coming to Ephesians Philippians 2 one of the most powerful expressions of unity that i find in the whole new testament is here in Philippians 2 verse 2 look at the expressions he uses there he says make my joy complete not just by being holy people but being of the same mind manifesting the same love united in one spirit intent on one purpose what a fantastic description of unity four beautiful expressions he says that's the way you can make my joy fall in prison he's writing to these people he says you guys are wonderful philippians but you know if you really want to make me full of joy as your spiritual father be of the same mind maintaining the same love united in one spirit intent on one purpose and how to achieve that how to achieve this unity the next six verses no yeah next six verses do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit now as children of adam we do everything from selfishness and everything from empty conceit we got to cleanse ourselves if there are two sins that we need to cleanse ourselves from constantly it's selfishness and pride it's like an onion every layer you peel off there's another layer underneath and we got to keep peeling it off and if you keep peeling it off you'll have a wonderful relationship as husband and wife you'll have a wonderful relationship in the church you recognize the selfishness in you there's pride in you and the unconscious but you come across like that do nothing then i go to work towards that goal where i've removed i've come to the center of the onion every layer is peeled off that's the meaning of do nothing it doesn't happen overnight lord i want to work towards that goal where i never do a single thing in my life from selfishness verses that christians don't obey here's another one do absolutely nothing from selfishness do absolutely nothing from conceit don't ever speak in such a way that your conceit is expressed but with humility of mind humility is in the mind remember it's not in the way we act or putting our head down or wearing simple clothes i know in some churches that i've been to if you wear a tie you're a proud person you know what i feel like doing when i go to wear a tie and wear a suit and go out to speak i really irritate all those people jesus had a great ministry of irritating parishes i like to do that too follow jesus footsteps that's humanity is not there it's not in the way the way you it's a mind it's in your mind humility of mind let each of you regard the other person not as more spiritual than yourself that is an impossible command jesus did not consider others more spiritual oh judas is scary he's more spiritual than me rubbish more important than yourself he washed judas's feet the servant washing peter's feet consider others as more important than yourself a very frequently misquoted verse is he consider others as the most spiritual there is no such command it is impossible to obey paul did not consider the corinthians as more spiritual he said you guys are carnal i'm spiritual jesus said learn from me i'm humble of heart so consider others more important don't look out just for your own personal interests remember the goal is same mind same purpose unity don't look out for just your personal interests but also for the interest of others you're not you're not saying neglect your family or neglect yourself but as you think of your interest think of the others also that's what he's saying also it's realistic and if you want it all in a nutshell verse five have the same attitude in you which was in jesus christ who though he was god did not hold on to that equality but emptied himself of what he did not empty himself of his deity he was god on earth he received worship from people but he emptied himself of acting like god towards other people you dare not call me feelsable i'll strike you dead that would be acting like god you call me feelsable i'm an ordinary man you're forgiven he was god but he didn't act like god you know the trouble with us we're not god but we act like god towards people we do you know we expect everybody to treat us with respect why who are you that people should treat you with respect we live in an age where respect for authority is disappearing even in the church even respect for older people i remember the oldest knees wasn't like that even when i was 50 years ago it was different young people respected older people they would address people with a little respect it's all gone now it's all even if you're 100 years old and this 10 year old is like your buddy who's the loser not the 100 year old guy is the 10 year old is a loser poor chap he's lost something in the old testament the lord taught people he must respect an older person that's how you show you fear me it's all gone but if you're an older person and you expect people to respect you then you're that's your problem now jesus didn't expect anything from anyone he didn't want anybody to respect him he didn't want anybody to defer to him or he always took the last place the low place have the same attitude as in christ even though he was god he humbled himself and became a man emptied himself and i like this it says he became a servant let me paraphrase this verse 7 he became a servant because he became a man that's the meaning of it then you get the meaning of that verse why did he become a servant because he became a man and i learned something there that god created man to have the spirit of a servant towards other human beings that's how i must be always i'll never forget a story i read once a person i met rather who told me that he was a god-fearing missionary who had booked a seat in a train in india and when he came to sit there this happens in india sometime believe it or not somebody else has taken your seat and he sits there as if this seat belongs to him even though you reserve it so well he was not going to fight with him he went and sat by the restroom in the in the train outside on the floor because there are no seats available he sat sat there and the man checking the tickets going wrong and saw this white man sitting on the floor and said what are you doing here he said here's my ticket somebody else is sitting on my seat why don't you tell him to get up no sir i'm a christian that ticket collector god converted did he hear some profound sermon he saw a life that was more powerful than any sermon or one who wouldn't get into a fight didn't expect anything it's an attitude of life i'm not saying that we can imitate that everywhere like a law it's an attitude towards other people i think jesus would have been like that jesus wasn't the type of person to kick up a fight over some right that he felt he had okay fine we are i often think of that you know i travel in the trains in india i've traveled for years and i see how silly little things people fight over selfishness you see you know like road rage you see in the roads in north america i see that type of selfishness in the crowded buses and trains in india great opportunity to test your christianity here have you really it's the holy spirit really done a work in you where you recognize that i'm a man so i'm a servant see that is the attitude that builds the body of christ now turn back to ephesians he says this church is a great mystery revelation ephesians 3 3 a mystery which was not known before revelation sorry ephesians 3 3 and other generations verse 5 it was not made known to the sons of men and you think of some great secret like the theory of relativity or something which nobody ever knew till the 20th century and you're waiting to hear what is this great fantastic mystery and it's like an anti-climax when he comes to verse 6 he says it means the jews and the gentiles should be one oh no you mean that's supposed to be the great mystery that the jews and gentiles are supposed to be one i thought it was something like the theory of relativity or something some fantastic truth which is god was going to reveal to me one of his special favorites and when you think of it it really is a mystery because the jews and the gentiles were the greatest opposites in the history of humanity the upper caste and the lower caste in india among the hindus are not as widely separated you know in india there are many upper caste people who will not allow the shadow of a lower caste person to fall on their bodies if a lower caste person walks between him and the sun and the shadow falls on him this guy has got to go and have a shower that's the way they despise i mean something like it was in the southern states of the united states when they had all those slaves but jews and gentiles are much more the greatest opposites in the history of humanity and when jesus stretched out his arms on the cross there was a lot of meaning to that he was bringing these two completely opposite people who detested and hated one another make them one that's what the cross was supposed to do and i tell you it's a mystery like i said don't ask any husband or wife who are both of the same community whether you find it easy to become one it's a mystery the mystery is how can two people become one when they're so opposite to each other there it requires the grace of god and it requires recognizing god has brought this person to me to become one with me jesus could not accomplish it during his earthly life because eleven apostles didn't have the holy spirit and you cannot accomplish it in people who don't seek to be filled with the holy spirit no it's not by theory but on the day of pentecost it was like god taking these 120 pieces of iron and throwing it in the furnace and it burned and melted it all and came out as one piece they were 120 separate pieces before they were baptized in the fire and that is what the church is supposed to be dissimilar people becoming one you know when engaged couples come to me for counseling i draw a little diagram for them of a broken eggshell i say here's an egg i draw it on a piece of paper now i'm going to break it and then i draw this broken eggshell with the pokey edges i said you see you're like this and you're like this you can really hurt one another with all these pokey edges you have in you and you don't seem to be like each other you compare the two it's complete opposite wherever there's a projection here there's a depression over there and wherever there's a projection that side there's depression we are total opposites but i said now see when i put them together wherever there's a depression there's a projection that fits so perfectly that strong point in the other person is where you have a weak point and where you have a strong point the other person is a weak point and god brought you together dissimilarly one none of us can manifest grace and truth perfectly nobody we are all a little imbalanced either towards grace or towards truth i've seen that through years through many years and that's why i'm personally thankful that god balances me my imbalanced ministry and my imbalanced ways in my home with my wife who's my opposite and in the church with fellow brothers and elders who are different from me and so if i try to make everybody like me i'll be a fool it's like you know reshaping this other broken eggshell to be exactly like this one and then when i put it together it doesn't fit it doesn't fit at all it just hurt one another more so i tell husband don't really make your wife like yourself and your temperament because she's different it's like she's one taking the photograph of the building from the southern side and you're taking it from the northern side and you put the two pictures together they look completely dissimilar as if they're two different buildings but they're not they're the same building and you get a far better view of a building or a problem or any situation when you have two different perspectives on it that's why god makes us different and in a church to value one another the only thing we seek to be united in is our devotion to jesus now hatred of sin that we are united we are fervently devoted to christ we hate sin with all our hearts but otherwise our perspective on things can be different me i'm really thankful in so many situations in the church that god's given me brothers who can tell me brothers that i don't think we should do that and i know situations in our church where i feel we should do this like this deal with this brother in this way and my fellow letter says no i don't think we should do that let's just wait a little and see if it work it work itself out without i say okay we made a decision at the beginning that we will not move forward till you and i are united so if you disagree with me i'll wait until i agree with you or you agree with me we wait and lo and behold in a few weeks the problem solves itself and i discover he was right i say thank you brother that's good sometimes he discovers i'm right but we decide to move forward in unity that's a great mystery and that is the whole purpose of the cross it says in the cross jesus ephesians 2 abolished all the enmity that one could have with another ephesians 2 15 so that he can make both verse 16 one body putting death the enmity so that one day he can present to the father one new man that's the whole purpose in one body to god he might reconcile them both in one body to god he wanted to make the two verse 15 last part the two into one new man establish peace reconciling them both and presenting one body to god but jesus is not going to present to god a bunch of holy individuals i don't know whether you've seen that he's presenting one body and that's why it's so important in our local church to be an expression of that one body one last verse before i close ephesians 4 16 verse 15 it says speaking the truth in love we are to grow up everything in our life must be governed by love truth and love grace and truth thus we grow up to the head who is christ from whom the whole body is fitted together by that which every joint supplies you know what a joint is the joint is the thing that brings fellowship between two parts of the body here is my forearm here's my upper arm the elbow is the joint and if you have a strong brother forearm another strong brother upper arm but no fellowship it's like a stiff elbow arthritis and then he has two strong brothers this side who also going to have fellowship can you imagine if you had two hands like this what you'd be able to do this is the trouble in a lot of churches what's the use of the strong brother i'd rather have a weak brother another weak brother who can fellowship with each other they'll do a lot more than these stiff giants with arthritis and imagine if your legs are also like that and all the 15 joints in your fingers are also like that they've gone perfectly straight all strong useless church give me a little child whose fingers are small and weak so we don't look for big churches i've always fought against it i said god's not looking for big churches he's looking for churches that are united one with each other where you can love one another but speak the truth we don't compromise we don't compromise on a single area if some people don't like what we say i tell people in bangalore you know that why god has raised up so many churches so some folks like you can go and sit somewhere else instead of wasting our time otherwise you'll be all sitting here and wasting our time and arguing with us all the time but god's raised up all these other churches brother feel coke and feel comfortable one of those other places don't waste our time we're building the body and i won't be offended if i see you go away i won't turn the other side if i see you on the street i shall greet you because you cannot make me hate you that's impossible god's gonna work dear brothers and sisters let's rise up to build the body of christ in the days to come god bless you all thank you for having me let's pray heavenly father as we bow before you i pray that you'll bless these dear brothers who meet here that it'll be a true expression of the body of jesus christ in this little town and that from here there will be an expression of truth and grace that goes out to many other places blessing many other people not for any honor for this church but for the glory of god alone so that christ will be exalted and that the land can have the reward of his sufferings yes lord everything thine is the glory thine is the kingdom thine is the power in jesus name amen