127 Sermon Illustrations on Criticism

Ten tips for taking criticism:

1.

Understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.

2.

Do not take yourself too seriously.

3.

Look beyond the criticism and see the critic and his motives.

4.

Watch your own attitude toward the critic.

5.

Realize that good people get criticized.

6.

Keep physically and spiritually in shape.

7.

Don't just see the critic, see of there is a crowd.

8.

Wait for time to prove them wrong.

9.

Surround yourself with positive people.

10.

Concentrate on your mission -- correct your mistakes.

Ten tips for giving criticism:

1.

Check your motive. (Will doing this make me look better? Am I enjoying this confrontation?)

2.

Make sure the issue is worthy of criticism.

3.

Be specific.

4.

Do not undermine the person's self confidence.

5.

Do not compare one person with another.

6.

Be creative or do not confront. Do you have an answer or a gripe?

7.

Attack the problem and not the person.

8.

Confront when the time is right.

9.

Look at yourself before looking at others.

10.

End confrontation with encouragement.

President of Yale once said about a presidential candidate: "If this man is elected we shall surely see our wives and daughters reduced to prostitutes, sobriety dishonored, and decency in our land will become an outcast" (of T. Jefferson).

Day after Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, a Chicago editor wrote: "The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly, flat, and dish-watery utterance of a man who has to be pointed out to intelligent foreigners as President of the United States."

Each fall flocks of migrating geese stop at a meadow near our home. For several weeks those birds fly in long, wavy V-formations over our house, honking as they go. But then, as winter approaches, they are off again on their long flight south.

A student of mine furthered my education and my appreciation for these visitors from the north. I learned that geese fly at speeds of 40 to 50 miles per hour. They travel in formation because as each bird flaps its wings, it creates an updraft for the bird behind it. They can go 70 percent farther in a group than they could if they flew alone... .

Geese also honk at one another. They are not critics but encouragers. Those in the rear sound off to exhort those up front to stay on course and maintain their speeds. We too move ahead much more easily if there is someone behind us encouraging us to stay on track and keep going.

Is there someone flying in formation with you today to whom you might give some “helpful honks?” -- Haddon W. Robinson

MORE GEESE DATA:

1. As each goose flaps its wings it creates an “uplift” for the birds that follow. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater range than if each bird flew alone.

2. When it goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag & resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back in formation to take advantage of lifting power of the bird in front of it.

3. When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation and another goose takes the point position.

4. The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those in front to keep up their speed.

5. When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again.

________

From “Lessons from Geese,” by Angeles Arrien, based on the research of Milton Olson.

A man had a habit of grumbling at the food his wife placed before him at family meals. Then he would ask the blessing. One day after his usual combination complaint-prayer, his little girl asked, "Daddy, does God hear us when we pray?" "Why, of course," he replied. "He hears us every time we pray." She on this a moment, and asked, "Does he hear everything we say the rest of the time?" "Yes, dear, every word," he replied, encouraged that he had inspired his daughter to be curious about spiritual matters. However, his pride was quickly turned to humility... "Then which does God believe?"

There's an old story about four blind men who were introduced to an elephant for the first time.

None of them knew what an elephant looked like. "Ah!" the first one cried out as he grabbed the

elephant by the trunk. "An elephant is like a giant and powerful snake!" "No, you are wrong,"

said the second blind man as he ran his hands over one of the elephants floppy ears. "The

elephant is like a large, leafy plant." "No, you are both wrong," said the third blind man as he

wrapped both arms around one of the elephant's legs. "The elephant is like a strong, sturdy

tree." "All of you are wrong," said the fourth man. He was holding onto the elephant's tail. "The

elephant is like a rope."

ANOTHER VERSION:

Once there was a village where all inhabitants were blind. When a man passed one day riding an elephant, a group of the village men cried out asking the rider to let them touch the great beast, for though they had heard about elephants, they had never been close to one.

About six of them were allowed to approach the animal, each being led to touch a different part of the body. After a time the rider left, and the blind men hurried back to their people to share the experience. "With what can you compare an elephant?" the people in the crowd asked their six friends.

"I know all about elephants," cried the man who had touched the animal's side. "He is long and narrow, and built like a thick wall."

"Nonsense," shouted the man who had touched the elephant's tusk. "He is rather short, round, and smooth, but very sharp. I would compare an elephant to a spear."

A third, who had touched the ear, joined in. "It is nothing like a wall or a spear. An elephant is like a gigantic leaf, made of thick wool carpet. It moves when you touch it."

"I disagree," said the man who had handled the trunk. "An elephant is much like a large snake."

The fifth man shouted his disapproval. He had touched a leg of the great beast. "It is plain to me that none of you have described the animal accurately. It is round and reaches toward the heavens like a tree."

The sixth man, who had been placed on the elephant's back, cried out, "Can none of you accurately describe an elephant? He is like a gigantic moving mountain."

To this day the argument has not been resolved, and the people of that village have no idea what an elephant looks like. (Isaiah 40)

The Kebbitch Itch

There is an old Hasidic tale about a woman whose name was Anna

Kebbitch. She was a complainer. All day long she complained:

"I have so little money, my clothes are like old rags."

"My health is so bad, my back feels like the walls of Jericho."

"I must walk so far to draw water, my feet are like watermelons."

"My house is so small, I can barely move."

My children visit me so little that they hardly know me."

One day, Anna Kebbitch woke up with an itch on her nose. She went to visit

the rabbi and he asked her, "How are you, Anna?"

Anna replied with her list of problems and said: "And now I have this itch

on my nose and it plagues me so. Tell me, Rabbi, what does it mean?"

The rabbi said, "Anna, your itch is the Kebbitch Itch the 'complainer's itch.'

It means this: However you consider yourself, so shall you be."

The next morning, Anna woke up and her nose was still itching. Her back

had turned to stone like the walls of Jericho. Her house had shrunk until

she could not move in it. On the end of her legs, were two huge

watermelons. Her clothes turned to old rags. When her son and daughter

came walking by, they didn't know her.

In despair, Anna remembered the meaning of the Kebbitch Itch: However

you consider yourself, so shall you be. What does this mean?

Anna began to think:

I do have enough money to live on and a little more. Henceforth, I will give

out of my abundance to those who are not so well off.

My health is not so bad, for someone my age, I feel well.

I'm glad I have such a nice house to live in. It's not large, but it's

comfortable.

I really don't mind my walk to draw water.

And my children, I'm proud that they are independent and able to care for

themselves.

Miraculously, while Anna was saying these things, her situation returned

to normal and her outlook on life changed forever. When the rabbis tell

Anna's story, they end with this statement: May your noses itch forever.

We may not get the Kebbitch itch, but we need to be reminded that our

outlook affects outcomes. Our attitude makes a difference. Do you

complain all the time? Do you expect the worst in others? Do you always

resent it when other people have more than you or seem to be doing better

than you? The result of that kind of thinking is this: your situation will

probably get worse.

On the other hand, if you are a positive person who sees the good in others,

rejoices with others who are doing better than you, and praises God for all

that He has given to you, remember this: your situation will probably get

better.

Edited from Hot Illustrations for Youth Talks by Wayne Rice.

Copyright 1994 by Youth Specialties, Inc.

Winston Churchill had a running feud with Lady Astor. Once, following a crude remark by Churchill, Lady Astor said: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."

"If you were my wife," he responded, "I would drink it!"

On another occasion Lady Astor told Churchill: "Winston, I believe that you're drunk." Churchill said: "Lady Astor, I believe that you're ugly, but I'll be sober in the morning."

The galleries are full of critics. They play no ball, they fight no fights.

They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. Down in the arena are the

do'ers. They make mistakes because they try many things. The man who makes no

mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He is the one who never

tries anything. His is the brake on the wheel of progress. And yet it cannot

be truly said he makes no mistakes, because his biggest mistake is the very

fact that he tries nothing, does nothing, except criticize those who do

things.

---Gen. David M. Shoup

(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, SwanLC@aol.com,

June 14, 1999

I once read a story about a conflict that took place between two Indian Rajahs. The one defeated the other and took captive the son of his rival, and the day he was to return to his own palace he prepared to march into the city in triumph. There was a great procession of elephants, cavalry, infantry, and a long line of captives.

Among them was the young prince. He was told that we were to walk bare-footed and bare-headed. He was indignant and said, "What! Go in like that! What will people think! Imagine the faces they will make!" The rajah said, "You haven't heard all yet. You shall carry a bowl of milk in your hand, and if you spill so much as a drop, you will lose your head at the close of the procession!" In a few minutes they brought the bowl of milk, and two guards walked with him, one on either side, and the procession started to move.

On and on they went for perhaps a mile or more into the presence of the rajah. And the young prince walked along holding the bowl of milk. It seemed to him he would never finish without spilling some of it, but he completed the ordeal safely. Finally, he stood before the Rajah, "Well young prince, what kind of faces did the people make?" The prince looked up and said, "Your majesty, I did not see the faces of the people. I saw only my life which I held in my hands and I knew one false step would make me lose my life."

Friends, if we will keep our eyes own Jesus like the young prince kept his eyes on that milk we will not worry what people think about us!

After examining the contents of the church's suggestion box, the minister complained: "I wish they'd be more SPECIFIC! What KIND of a kite? WHAT lake?"

I don't worry about what critics think. As far as I can discover since the beginning of recorded history, no one has ever erected a statue to a critic. Apparently they must not be held in very high esteem!

- Zig Ziglar

===============================================

Version collected by Roddy Chestnut:

A young musician's concert was poorly received by the critics. The famous Finnish composer Jean Sibelius consoled him by patting him on the shoulder and saying, 'Remember, son, there is no city in the world where they have a statue to a critic.'

Haddon Robinson

I once heard the story of a young preacher who preached the truth but

was having trouble with one critical parishioner. This fellow had as

his favorite expression, "Great Day." One Sunday morning the young preacher announced, "I'm preaching on the

text, "And Jesus fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and

two thousand fishes." The critical church member stood up and said,

"Great day, that's no miracle! I could do that!" The young pastor was so shattered that he couldn't even preach the

sermon. The next Sunday, out of spite he announced correctly, "And

Jesus fed five thousand men with five loaves and two fishes." He then

looked right down at his outspoken member and asked, "And I guess you

could do that too?" The man replied, "I sure could preacher!" The

young pastor asked, "And just how would you do it?" The man answered,

"That's easy! I'd use what was left over from last Sunday!"

- Bailey Smith

_Real Evangelism_, pp. 112-113.

Faultfinding is not difficult. Isaac McCurry illustrates this: A

dog hitched to a lawn mower, stopped to bark at a passer-by. The boy

who was guiding the mower said, "Don't mind the dog; he is just

barking for an excuse to rest. It is easier to bark than pull the

machine." It is easier to be critical than to be correct. It is easier

to hinder than to help. Easier to destroy reputation than to construct

character. Faultfinding is as dangerous as it is easy. Anybody can

grumble, criticize or censure like the Pharisees; but it takes a

genuine Christian to go on working faithfully and lovingly, through

trials and human failures, as the Lord Jesus did. -- SELECTED

By William Moses Tidwell, "Effective Illustrations."

Someone recently asked me an interesting question, “What’s so important about worship?” I can’t say that I’ve ever considered that question, in part because worship has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. In seminary I learned ABOUT worship — its history, its purpose and meaning — but there was always an unspoken assumption about its utility, which was never questioned. If I had asked, I’m sure I would have been told something akin to “because God says it is.”

The word worship occurs 168 times in the Bible, but I was struck by the way it is used in the book of Exodus, where on six occasions (Exod. 7:16, 8:1 & 20, 9:1 & 13 and 10:3) God says, “LET MY PEOPLE GO, SO THAT THEY MAY WORSHIP ME.” Here we see how worship is deeply connected to Israel’s freedom, its identity and its relationship with God. That sounds pretty important to me.

The truth is that we don’t always regard worship as something that connects to our freedom, our identity or our relationship with God. Instead, we sometimes see it as an obligation, a habit, a chunk of time taken out of our weekend, something to be endured or — if we’re between the ages of 13 and 17 — something our parents make us do. Robert Schnase’s book, THE FIVE PRACTICES OF FRUITFUL CONGREGATIONS, goes even further, stating that sometimes:

... we unconsciously enter worship in the evaluative posture of [a

movie critic.] We rate the sermon, the time for children, the prayers

and the music ... Our attention turns to the imperfections,

mispronunciations, missed cues, discordant sounds, the weaknesses of the

leaders and the flaws of our fellow worshipers.

In short, we enter expecting to be entertained, and as entertainment, worship has a hard time competing with AMERICAN IDOL, LOST or the Yankee game.

Schnase suggests, as an alternative, approaching worship with a sense of EXPECTANCY. Rather than attending to the rough spots, looking for those times when we encounter and experience the presence of God:

What is God saying to me through the ... Scripture ... imperfectly read;

the sermon [with its] weak illustrations; ... the music, even if [it]

drags the pace?

And when something happens that we don’t like, or that makes us uncomfortable, or that seems strange, to ask the question, “Is there someone else here that God might be speaking to through this part of the service?”

The purpose of worship is worship — which is the act of God’s people praising God. But the effect of worship, as Exodus demonstrates, is to affirm our free choice to love and serve God, to strengthen our sense of identity as the body of Christ, and to help deepen and strengthen our relationship with God.

Not a bad return for one morning a week. I’ll see you in church.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #6356]

There are men who pride themselves on their candor, and it degenerates into brutality. One such man said to John Wesley once, "Mr. Wesley, I pride myself in speaking my mind; that is my talent."

"Well," said John Wesley, "the Lord wouldn't mind if you buried that talent!"

-- Griffith Thomas

John Wesley was preaching. He was wearing a new bow tie with two streamers hanging down from it. There was a sister in the meeting who didn't hear a word about Jesus, but sat with a long face and saw nothing but those two streamers. When the service was over she went up and said, “Pardon me, Mr. Wesley, will you suffer a little criticism?”

“Yes,” replied Mr. Wesley.

“Well,” she said, “Mr. Wesley, your bow tie is too long and it is an offense to me.”

He said, “Have you a pair of shears?” After receiving the shears he handed them to her saying that she would know how they would look best. She reached over and clipped off the streamers. Then he said, “Is that all right now?”

“Yes, that is much better.”

He said, “Do you mind letting me have those shears? Would you mind a little criticism? Your tongue is a great offense to me -- it is a little too long. Please stick it out while I take some off.”

How often we overlook our own failures and sins while criticizing the faults in others! In fact, our judgment may reflect our own flaws, which usually are more serious than those we see in someone else.

A woman named Ruth Knowlton told how she came to see this truth. The building across the alley was only a few feet away, and she could easily look into her neighbor's apartment. Ruth had never met the woman who lived there, but she could see her as she sewed and read each afternoon. After several months, she noticed that the figure by the window had become indistinct. She couldn't understand why the woman didn't wash her windows.

One sunny day Ruth decided to do some housecleaning, including washing her own windows. Later that day, she sat down to rest by the window. To her amazement, she could clearly and distinctly see her neighbor sitting by her window. Ruth said to herself, “Well, finally she washed her windows!” By now you've guessed what really happened: Ruth's own windows were the ones that needed washing.

=========================

Version by Gerald Rodgers:

Ruth E. Knowlton tells this on herself: "Years ago I lived in an apartment building in a large city. The building next door was only a few feet away from mine, and I could look across the alley into the apartment on the same floor as mine. There was a woman who lived there, whom I had never met, yet I could see her as she sat by her window each afternoon, sewing or reading.

"After several months had gone by, I began to notice that her windows were dirty. Everything was indistinct through her smudged windows. I would say to myself, 'I wonder why that woman doesn't wash her windows? They look dreadful!' "One bright morning I decided to do my spring housecleaning and thoroughly cleaned my apartment, including washing the windows on the inside.

"Late in the afternoon when I was finished, I sat down by the window with a cup of coffee for a rest. What a surprise! Across the way, the woman sitting by her window was clearly visible. Her windows were clean! "Then it dawned on me. I have been criticizing her dirty windows, but all the time I was observing them through my own dirty ones!"

*

Pierre Van Paasen wrote a story of a hunchback by the name of Ugolin who fell sick. He never knew his father, and his mother was a drunken outcast. He had a lovely sister named Solange who loved Ugolin and it was she who took care of him. However, the only way she could make enough money to buy his medicine was to sell her body, so she worked as a prostitute.

People talked harshly about them, ridiculing Ugolin's deformity and belittling and reviling Solange for her prostitution. They treated them with such contempt that Ugolin drowned himself in the river, after which Solange shot herself. At their funeral the little village church was crowded. The minister mounted the pulpit and began his sermon. “Christians,” he said scornfully, “Christians, when the Lord of life and death shall ask me on the Day of Judgment, 'Where are thy sheep?’ I shall not answer Him. When the Lord asks me the second time, `Where are thy sheep?’ I will yet not answer Him. But when the Lord shall ask me a third time, `Where are thy sheep?’ I shall hang my head in shame and I will answer Him, `They were not sheep, Lord; they were a pack of wolves.'“[1]

Having no facility with foreign languages, but a suspicion that there was more to the story, I looked up the name Solange. It is derived from the Latin word for “religious.”

____________

1. Charles L. Allen, quoting from “Pierre Van Paasen, THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES” in GOD'S PSYCHIATRY (Jove/HBJ Book, 1978), pp. 77.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #6051]

Indiana's fiery basketball coach, Bobby Knight, says the criticism

he gets from the press is nothing compared to what he faces at home.

After a narrow victory over Michigan State a few years ago, Knight

says he was upbraided by his wife, Karen, a former high-school girls

basketball coach, for the way the Hoosiers played.

Finally he had enough. "Lady, why don't you bake a pie or

something?" Knight said in typically sexist fashion.

"Well, if I did," Karen replied, "you can bet my pie would be a lot

better than your zone defense."

- Tom FitzGerald in {San Francisco Chronicle}

Henry M. Stanley was commissioned by a New York newspaper to go to

Africa in search of Dr. David Livingstone. When Stanley returned to

New York, after finding Livingstone, his newspaper gave him a banquet,

to which many celebraties were invited. A young newspaperman asked

Stanley if he was bothered by lions, elephants, or crocodiles. Mr.

Stanley said, "No, young man, I stayed away from the lions and the

crocodiles." Then the newspaperman said, "Didn't anything bother you

while you were in Africa?" Then Stanley replied, "Yes, young man, if

you most know the truth, I was almost eaten alive by the pesky

chiggers."

- Paul W. Powell, {Basic Bible Sermons on Handling Conflict,

}(Nashville: Broadman Press, 1992) 25

In her book "The Family Manager," Kathy Peel gives ten ways to demolish a home team:

1. Let your kids know that your adult world is more important than their world.

2. Make sure each family member has his or her own TV in their bedroom so they can spend a lot of time alone.

3. Be too busy to attend your kid's school and athletic functions.

4. Talk about doing a job like it is punishment instead of making it seem like the job is part of being in a family.

5. Don't go to the trouble to plan family outings.

6. Don't take family vacations together.

7. Regularly criticize family members for not meeting your expectations.

8. Whine about how one family member's corcumstances are affecting everyone else's life.

9. Be rigid.

10. Disapprove of family members' performances and belittle their efforts. Always make them redo the job.

________

New Man, June 1997, p. 17

| My Source:

| HOW TO PAPERS

| 24th CTS at F-HU, July 1996

| Edited by Sam Hester

|------------------------------

| Author: Guy Orbison, Jr.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

HOW TO RESPOND TO UNKIND CRITICISM

by Guy Orbison, Jr.

Leaders will always be criticized. Even the most popular ones will hear from those who disagree with their decisions. No matter what the field of endeavor, if you rise to a positon of leadership, you will be criticized.

King David of Israel was one of the great leaders of history. Later kings are measured by the standard of his rule. Yet, he encountered the typical problems of opposition, criticism, and even open rebellion. He was forced to leave Jerusalem when his own son, Absalom, led an uprising against him. As David passed through Bahurim, a man named Shimei came out throwing stones and cursing him. One of David's military leaders, Abishai, said, "Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over now, and cut off his head" (2 Samuel 16:9). But David held the soldier back, explaining that the Lord may have told Shimei, "Curse David!" (2 Samuel 16:10).

Interesting perspective, isn't it? David considered the possibility that the Lord could actually use those who oppose him to render him benefit. David's way of looking at criticism and his response can be helpful to us in knowing how we should respond to such unkindness:

1. DO NOT REACT IN KIND.

Abishai exhibited the "get even" attitude that is

often seen in the world. That, however, is not

the godly response of Christians. To exhibit

the same behavior is to lower ourselves to the

level of the world.

2. LISTEN CAREFULLY.

The criticism may nor may not be valid. If it

is based upon misinformation, then you have

the opportunity to supply the truth. Often,

critics just want to vent their frustrations. For

the sake of peace and unity, perhaps you can

absorb some of the verbal stones they throw

your way.

3. CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

Usually when people use this expression they

mean, "That fellow is of such unsavory

character or of such unreasonable nature that

I am not obligated to pay any attention to him."

Yet, David's reaction to Shimei gives us a new

perspective on the SOURCE of criticism. It

just might be that God is using even some

obnoxious fellow to get your attention. As

David indicated, it would be in that case,

opposing God's will if we silenced such a

critic.

Someone has said that elders and preachers must be "thick skinned" in order to continue their work. Perhaps so, but the harsh words thrown at them can still penetrate and hurt. There is no protective armor designed for them to survive a verbal stoning unscathed. So, just as in receiving criticism, let us be thoughtful in the way we give it. Choose your words well for the purpose of edifying rather than destroying.

Personally, I am grateful when people help me see my mistakes, because I want only to do the Lord's will and could use the help of others in my efforts to achieve this. Yet, there have been times, regrettably, that my own stubborn will was more important. On those occasions I did not react well to ciriticism. I have discovered in my own experience that the way we react will depend on what is happening in our hearts. We can all benefit from our critics if we have died to self so that Christ may live within our earthen vessel.

==================================================

________________________ end of article _______________________

DRL NOTE: Personally, I would question the possibility that God would use some other person's criticism of me in any direct way to teach me today. I believe that takes away from the all-sufficiency of the word of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17; 2 Peter 1:3). Incidentally, the next verse reads, "And David said to Abishai, and to all his servants, Behold, my son, which came forth of my bowels, seeketh my life: how much more now may this Benjamite do it? let him alone, and let him curse; FOR THE LORD HATH BIDDEN HIM" (2 Samuel 16:11). It appears to me that David is not conceding the possibility of this curse coming from God, but the reality of it.

However, I do believe that we react properly to criticism when we consider the source. No matter who it is doing the criticizing, that person is created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Part of what that means is that they have an ability to reason. That being true, it just could be possible that they have reasoned correctly in assessing whatever it is concerning which they differ with me. Even though that criticism comes from a source that I consider to be "against" me, I should make attempt to benefit from it. I should weigh the criticism, using the word of God as the standard, and if someone points out how I have strayed from the scriptures, I should make a course correction.

I agree wholeheartedly with brother Orbison that we SHOULD be grateful for others who help us to see our mistakes! I have found, in many instances, people react to criticism in an entirely different way. Why can we not be thankful when someone takes the time to criticize us when the criticism is appropriate, and then just dump the rest in a figurative "file 13"? Some of the people who consider themselves to be the most irenic and loving are the ones who react the most violently to any form of criticism.

In a previous newsletter, I used a quote by Albert Schweitzer, which basically teaches that those who are happiest in life are those who have sought and discovered how to serve others. I pointed out how that quote reminds me of the free-enterprise system, where the amount of money one makes is often directly proportional to how many people they serve (through providing products and/or services that others want and/or need).

Immediately after the issue was distributed, I received the following letter:

"Bob, I like the Albert Schweitzer quote but I think you are

stretching it a bit to relate it to making money and is a

wrong use of the quote. Letting yourself down there, Bob."

That's fine. We all have a right to our opinions, and she might be correct. Since I've been wrong so often in my life, it's difficult for me not to consider that as a legitimate possibility :-).

I'm always grateful when readers take the time to respond to my articles. That way, I know you're out there, you're considering what I'm saying and, your perceptive insights provide me with a different perspective on my subject matter.

Being that the issue's feature article was on how to offer advice in a way that would cause a person to be more receptive to it, I shared with her some ideas in a personal letter. I'll now share my thoughts with you.

The writer's opening sentence was...

"Bob, I like the Albert Schweitzer quote but I think you are

stretching it a bit to relate it to making money and is a

wrong use of the quote."

It was excellent that she opened by letting me know she enjoyed the quote. This made me feel very receptive to what she would say next. That's always an effective way to begin the persuasion process.

In continuing the sentence, she let me know where she disagreed. That's also great. However, in order to make the reader (in this case, me) more receptive, I might have said, "In my opinion, you are stretching it a bit to relate it to making money and this could possibly be an incorrect use of the quote."

Saying, "In my opinion" tells the person that he is not being *told* something or chastised, but rather that the writer's opinion is such. As noted last week, that makes the actual upcoming "chastisement" a lot more acceptable to the reader. Then, the phrase, "...could possibly be an incorrect use of the quote" leaves room for the recipient to "breathe." If one says, "could possibly be", that is much more acceptable to the recipient's ego than the word "is." And, saying, "incorrect use" more acceptable than the word, "wrong." (Also, notice I omitted the word "but" and that way, "In my opinion" simply begins another sentence. The word, "but" signals disagreement and is better left either unused, or substituted with "and.")

The next sentence was:

"Letting yourself down there Bob."

Here, I'd have to wonder what the writer wished to communicate to me. If one's intention is to hurt the recipient's feelings or show a bit of personal disappointment, I'd imagine that particular wording is a good way to get their point across. It might, however, also make the recipient defensive and less likely to be willing to change. I'm assuming that people read WWI so they can learn how to persuade others (positively) into being receptive to their ideas and even accept them as their own. In that case, the sentence might not achieve its intended goal.

When writing a persuasive letter, I always ask myself, "Is this a sentence that might make a person receptive *to* my idea or defensive *about* it ... thus resistant to it?"

Naturally, I let the person who wrote me the letter know that these are just my thoughts and certainly don't mean I'm correct. And, you know what? She just might be very right regarding my usage of the quote. I'll have to consider her suggestion and ask a couple of others as well, but her observation is a good one.

Here's a quick look at how I might slightly adjust her letter in order to take her excellent observation and possibly improve the method of persuasive communication.

"Bob, Thank you for the great information in your newsletter.

I really like the Albert Schweitzer quote. In my opinion,

comparing his quote with free-enterprise is stretching it a

bit and could possibly be an incorrect use of the quote.

Again, enjoy your publication. Keep up the great work."

Pardon me for appearing to compliment my own newsletter, however, to illustrate a point, that technique happens to be an effective way to immediately trigger a person's receptivity button and get past the "gatekeeper of their mind" ... their ego.

When writing a letter of critique, ask yourself, "What am I attempting to accomplish and, does what I'm writing increase my chances of doing so?"

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Winston Churchill was attending an official ceremony in London. Two men behind him recognized him and began to whisper behind his back. "They say Churchill's quite senile now," said the one.

"Yes, they say he's doing England more harm than good," replied the other.

"They say he should step aside and leave the running of this government to younger, more dynamic people," continued the first man.

Churchill turned and in a loud voice said, "They also say he's quite deaf."

--Andrew Carr as quoted in Humor for Preaching & Teaching, p. 48

T.S. - The problem with gossip is that much of it is untrue and unfounded. Proverbs 15:7 says, "The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the heart of fools." Submitted by Bob Hine

"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."

-- Herman Melville (1819 - 1891), writer, Bits & Pieces

"Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while discouragement often nips it in the bud. Any of us will put out more and better ideas if our efforts are appreciated."

-- Alexander F. Osborn (1888 - 1966), advertising executive, (B&P)

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."

-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955), physicist, Bits & Pieces 9/27/02

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