304 Sermon Illustrations on Church

Psalm of Summer Now it came to pass that spring turned to summer again. God's people

raised their voices and said: "Recreation is my shepherd, I shall not

stay at home; He maketh me to lie down in a sleeping bag; He leadeth

me down the Interstate each weekend. He restoreth my suntan; He

leadeth me to State Parks for comfort's sake. Even though I stray on

the Lord's Day, I will fear no reprimand, for Thou art with me; my rod

and reel they comfort me. I annointest my skin with oil, my gas tank

runneth dry; Surely my trailer shall follow me all the weekends this

summer, and I shall return to the House of the Lord this fall." But

then it is hunting season and that's another psalm.

"To get something done a committee should consist of three men,

two of whom are absent."

- Unknown

- _Instant Quotation Dictionary_, p. 63.

Just before the beginning of the Sunday service at Saint

Bartholomew's on Fifth Avenue, New York City, a man wearing a

large hat was discovered sitting in the front row. An usher moved

to his pew, leaned in, and discreetly asked him to remove his hat.

The man replied that he would not. The head usher was then

summoned, made the same request, and received the same answer.

About that time the president of the women of the parish arrived

and was asked to assist. She had the same dismal result.

Finally, with only two minutes remaining before the opening hymn,

the senior warden of the parish was summoned. He tiptoed up

beside the man and tried to seize the hat, but the man nimbly

dodged and there was not time for further attempts.

As the opening hymn began and the procession entered the

church the man stood , removed his hat and did not put it on

again.

At the conclusion of the service, the four frustrated

people waited for the man at the rear of the church. The senior

warden approached him and said, "Sir, about the hat: perhaps you

don't understand, but in the Episcopal church men do not wear hats

at worship." The man replied, "Oh but I do understand. I've been

an Episcopalian all my life. As a matter of fact, I've been

coming to this church regularly for two years and I've never met a

soul. But this morning I've met an usher, the head usher, the

president of the church women, and the senior warden."

- James S Hewett, ed ILLUSTRATIONS UNLIMITED p90

One preacher said that when the resurrection takes place he knew

his church members would beat all others out of the grave, because the

Bible says, "the dead in Christ shall rise first."

- Tal D. Bonham & Jack Gulledge, {The Treasury of Clean Senior

Adult Jokes }(Nashville: Broadman Press, 1989) 31

A gentleman in England, who had a chapel attached to his house, was

visited by a person from London, to whom he showed the chapel. "What

a glorious kitchen this would make!" said the visitor. "When I make a

god of my belly," replied the gentleman, "I will make a kitchen of my

chapel."

- from the {Biblical Museum}

Dr. Henry C. Swentzel does not coincide with the view of Mr. John D. Rockefeller, who ... offered the criticism that "there is not enough sociability in the churches." Dr. Swentzel says: "There is imminent danger of Christian institutionalism being substituted for real religion. In these days it ought not to be necessary for persons to go to church to obtain social advantages. The purpose of the church is to present Jesus Christ to the thought, heart, and conscience of the people. Churches are not social or matrimonial agencies, but religious institutions. The sooner Christian persons recognize the divine mission of the church, the better it will be for both the church and the people."

- {Farm and Fireside}

The ladies' aid society of a certain church held a bazaar in the

church parlors. A young man was in attendance. He was attracted by a

certain article offered for sale, and thought seriously of buying it.

He noticed that the pricemark was forty cents. A few days later,

while visiting a retail store in a nearby city, he saw the very same

kind of an article marked twenty-five cents. His conclusion was that

one of the ladies of his home town had purchased the trinket in this

same store for a quarter, carried it home, and presented it to her

society to be sold for fifteen cents more than it was actually worth.

There are many Christian temples in America today which need

cleansing.

- {The Sunday School Times}

Isn't it a shame that we have to encourage people who claim to

be saved to come to church. We have to work at encouraging them

to come to Sunday School. We have to write post-cards, phone

them, and visit them before many of our members will come.

- Unknown

Don't do as one father did. His little boy was converted, and said,

"Papa, can not I join the church?" "Well, my child, I think you have

met with a change of heart; but you are very young, and hadn't you

better wait a little while, and see if you can hold out?" The boy

thought it was very hard, but he consented. It was the best he could

do. A few days after, the father saw, in a flock of sheep in the

pasture, a little lamb running alongside of its mother. He said, "Run

up and get the sheep and lamb, and put them in the fold, so as to

shelter them from the storm and the cold." The boy got them, and put

the mother in the fold, but left the lamb out in the yard. The father

discovered it by and by. "Why, my child, didn't I tell you to put the

sheep and the lamb in the fold?" "Well, I did put the sheep in; but I

thought the lamb was pretty young, and I would leave it out and see

whether it could stand it or not." The father took the hint. "My

child, you can go and join the church." --Albert P. Graves

An item by Sally Cunnech in Leadership magazine illustrates

the importance of giving attention to needs, not just to

numbers. She wrote, "During World War II, economist E. F.

Schumacher, then a young statistician, worked on a farm. Each

day he would count the 32 head of cattle, then turn his

attention elsewhere. One day an old farmer told him that if all

he did was count the cattle, they wouldn't flourish. Sure

enough, one day he counted 31; one was dead in the bushes. Now

Schumacher understood the farmer: you must watch the quality of

each animal. 'Look him in the eye; study the sheen of his coat.

You may not know how many cattle you have, but you might save

the life of one that is sick.'" Great advice whether it's for

the Sunday school teacher or the pastor. A full class or a

crowded church isn't necessarily a healthy class or a spiritual

church. To find out people's spiritual condition, you must

"look them in the eye." Then you can minister to their needs.

A famous king, depressed by circumstances in his realm and feeling rejected by many of his subjects, called for his three daughters to comfort and reassure him. After they had talked awhile, he asked how much they loved him. Two of them answered that they cared for him more than all the gold and silver in the world; but Mary, the youngest, said she loved him like salt.

The king wasn’t pleased with her answer, for he considered salt to be of very little value. The cook, who overheard the conversation, knew that the child’s reply had more significance than the father imagined. She dared not speak to the monarch about the matter, but devised a subtle way to emphasize the true meaning of the young girl’s words.

The next morning at breakfast she withheld the salt from everything she served, and the meal was so insipid that the king didn’t enjoy it at all. Then he realized the full force of his daughter’s remark. She loved him so much that nothing was good without him! With a smile he said, “I understand now, Mary. Your love is the greatest of all!”

The word "Fundamentalist" is a new word in the religious

world. It is a recent name. Names are necessary. They are

symbols of ideas. It is not the best thing in the world to be

nameless. There are some people who object to being branded.

They say they will not carry labels. But labels are also

necessary, and the absence of them may be embarrassing, as when

a goat was being shipped by express with a tag of destination

about his neck. Later the man in charge of the car was thrown

into consternation because he found as he declared with

wide-eyed astonishment and perplexity, "Dat goat done eat up

whar he's gwine." Probably the goat was a Modernist, or a

Conservative who refused to wear a label. But it bothered the

man who had to read his label, and it bothers us today not to

know definitely where people are going and with whom they are

going. --The King's Business

The empty pew, your vacant place at the church, is a vote with the

world and against the Christ. The world that is opposed to Christ asks

nothing more from you in its enmity to Christ than that you do what

Thomas did--stay away.

"I am an Empty Pew. I vote for the world as against God. I deny the

Bible. I mock at the preached Word of God. I rail at Christian

brotherhood. I laugh at prayer. I break the Fourth Commandment. I am a

witness to solemn vows broken. I advise men to eat drink and be merry,

for tomorrow they die. I join my voice with every atheist and rebel

against human and divine law. I am an Empty Pew. I am a grave in the

midst of the congregation. Read my epitaph and be wise." --McCartney

More than a hundred years ago D. L. Moody lashed out as a

loving critic to certain parts of the church of his time for its

misappropriation of energies. The church reminded him, he said,

of firemen straightening pictures on the wall of a burning

house. In a single sentence he drew a vivid picture of what any

of us can become in any generation when we forget the basic

activities given to us by the Lord of the church.

The emperor Diocletian set up a stone pillar on which was

inscribed these words: For Having Exterminated The Name

Christian From the Earth. If he could see that monument today,

how embarrassed he would be! Another Roman leader made a

coffin, symbolizing his intention "to bury the Galilean" by

killing His followers. He soon learned that he could not "put

the Master in it". He finally surrendered his heart to the

Savior, realizing that the corporate body of Christ and its

living Head, the Lord Jesus, cannot be destroyed by the

onslaught of mortal men.

The history of the church has been represented by the Waldensians

in a picture of an anvil with many worn-out hammers lying all around

it. Beneath this scene are the words: One Anvil -- Many Hammers.

Organized religion may fail; but the living organism composed of all

born-again believers will stand forever. God is calling out of this

world a people for His name who will dwell with Him throughout

eternity.

Scorpions live on insects, but they kill and devour their own

species as well. One experimenter placed a hundred of these arachnids

in a large glass vessel, and after a few days only

fourteen remained. The rest had been killed and eaten by the

others. He put a pregnant female in a glass vessel and

observed her as she devoured her young as fast as they were

born. One escaped, taking refuge on the mother's back, and

found revenge by killing the mother scorpion in turn. If cornered

with no possible escape, a scorpion will sting itself

to death with that flexible stinger on the back end of its body.

I'm ashamed to say I have met scorpion Christians during my

ministry. --Ron C. Carlson

BreakPoint Commentary - September 2, 1998 The Ties That Bind Community Requires More than Buildings by Charles W. Colson If you've ever vacationed along Florida's panhandle coast, you may have seen what Time magazine called possibly "the most astounding design achievements of its era, and one might hope, one of the most influential." Prince Charles has raved about it and the Walt Disney Company plans to emulate it. The focus of all this adulation is the charming, Victorian-style town of Seaside, billed as the ideal community. It was designed to revive a bygone era when neighborhoods were composed of people involved in each other's lives. Seaside is a delightful place to visit. But if you are looking for over-the-fence neighborliness, you'll have to look elsewhere. Despite what planners thought were all the right ingredients, Seaside has failed to produce the sense of community as originally envisioned. That's because, just as it takes more than a house to make a home, it takes more than buildings to make a community. Seaside was launched in the early 1980s as an alternative to twentieth-century anonymous suburbia. The role of the automobile was downplayed in Seaside. Instead of driving to a mall, it was hoped people would shop and fraternize at the town center. Every house has a front porch-required by law-to encourage porch-sitting and contact with passers-by. All the elements were present to re-create the bygone community of yesteryear-except for perhaps the most important of all. According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, the town planners of Seaside made no provision for-among other things-a church. The result, as the Journal notes, is that "community life is nil." Seaside is an attempt to meet what theologian John Hardin has called a fundamental "deep down longing of the human race, namely, its desire for community"-but with the most essential ingredient missing. In his book The God Who Is There, Francis Schaeffer writes that the idea of community has meaning only when grounded in biblical truth. "Without the certainty of that truth, and the content of that truth," he wrote, "the call for community would ... be [but] one more utopia." The Bible teaches that the church of Jesus Christ-which is the eternal fellowship of believers-is the ultimate expression of community. The Apostles' Creed speaks of "the communion of saints" as the future expectation of Christians. Historically, in Western society the church quite literally became the focal point of the community, signifying the valued place of Christian truth in the society-the common bond by which people belong to God and one another. But when the church steeples are absent, little remains to bind people together. Use Seaside as an illustration with your neighbors to explain how the Christian church is the unique answer to mankind's innate need for community. This series on apologetics will help you explain how, if the church is missing, when it comes to community, towns like Seaside are nothing but a collection of pretty buildings. (c) 1998 Prison Fellowship Ministries Copyright notice: We encourage liberal distribution of these transcripts through email and print. Please do not post on the world wide web or use this content for profit.

Some years ago I was in a small town for a revival and a visit was

made to a family a block away from the church, to try to interest them

in transferring their church membership from a church in a distant

part of the state to this church nearby. The father in the family

said, "We like the church, we like the preacher, we like the people,

but we've never moved our membership because we don't know how long

we're going to be here." "How long have you lived here in this place

and near this church?", he was asked. And he answered, "'We've lived

here twenty years, but we don't know whether we'll be here permanently

or not." Think of it! Twenty years wasted that might have been given

to God, twenty years when their children were coming up and needed the

ministry of that church. Oh, how unwise some people can be!

Ford, Sinful Age,

The church has buildings but little boldness.

The church has numbers but little nerve.

The church has comfort but little courage.

The church has status but little spirit.

The church has prestige but little power.

- Kermit L. Long

When you are tired, scared or need help, you want a safe place

where you can be yourself. This will be a place where people can be

comfortable. They can go to the kitchen and get a snack and then

relax in overstuffed chairs as they read or listen to tapes. One wall

will be all windows, so the center will have light, friendly

environment.

- {The Women's Pavilion of Norton Hospital Newsletter, }July

1997, Vol. 13 #3

"Technology and Humanity Come Together in the New Cancer Resource

Center" p. 3

This is the church of my dreams:

The church of the warm heart,

Of the open mind,

Of the adventurous spirit;

The church that cares,

That heals hurt lives,

That comforts old people,

That challenges youth;

That knows no divisions of culture or class,

No Frontiers, geographical or social,

The church that inquires as well as answers,

That looks forward as well as backward,

The church of the Master,

The church of the people,

High as the ideals of Jesus,

Low as the humblest human;

A working church,

A worshiping church,

A winsome church;

A church that interprets the truth in terms of truth;

That inspires courage for this life and hope for the life to come;

A church of courage,

A church of all good men,

The church of the living God.

- John M. Moore

\bold{It's Been Too Long Since You Last Attended Church When:}

* They've undergone a building program, and you aren't able to find

the sanctuary.

* The greeters force you to sign the guest register.

* That bratty kid who used to bug you is now head usher.

* You head for your favorite pew, but can't remember where it's

located.

* You have to fake the Lord's Prayer.

* You're shocked to learn that King James is no longer the only Bible

translation.

* You hear the same sermon as last time, and the pastor preaches on a

seven-year cycle.

* The last time you put a quarter in the offering plate, it really

\underline{was} a tenth of your income.

* You take the same chair in Sunday school and your knees hit your

chin.

* That guy who shows up just for Easter shoots you a sanctimonious

look.

- Pontius' Puddle in {The Christian Standard}

More tithes and fewer drives.

More action and less faction.

More workers and fewer shirkers.

More backers and fewer slackers.

More praying and less straying.

More of God's plans and less of man's.

More burden-bearers and fewer tale-bearers.

- {Exerpted in Pulpit Helps, }April, 1996, p. 8

Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are content

to watch others do.

They are called "Speck Tators."

Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding

fault with the way others do things.

They're called "Comment Tators."

Some are always looking to cause problems and really get under

your skin.

They are called "Aggie Tators."

There are those who are always saying they will, but somehow,

they never get around to doing.

We call them "Hezzie Tators."

Some people put on a front and act like someone else.

They're called "Emma Tators."

Then, there are those who walk what they talk. They're always

prepared to stop what they're doing to lend a hand to others and

bring real sunshine into the lives of others.

You can call them "Sweet Tators."

My Source:

THE CHRISTIAN COURIER Online

\webpage{http://www.christiancourier.com}

Penpoints, November 16, 1998

… … … … … …

Author: Wayne Jackson

==================================================

November 16, 1998

“Starr’s Church of Christ”

A Review

By WAYNE JACKSON

The bizarre conduct between the President of the United States and Monica Lewinsky has brought many people into prominence who otherwise might have remained relatively obscure. One person who has come to the forefront in this sordid scandal is Kenneth W. Starr, the Chief Counsel who is investigating the Chief Executive of our nation. Because Starr grew up associated with the church of Christ (we understand he currently worships with an Evangelical Bible Church), some have used the connection to vent personal, long-smoldering frustrations, firing both verbal and literary missiles at the Lord’s family.

One example is an article titled “Starr’s Church of Christ,” which was published recently in an east coast newspaper, and subsequently appeared on the internet. This rather unsophisticated diatribe was authored by H. John Rogers, who is identified as a lawyer and an “ordained” Methodist clergyman.

Really, there is not much in the way of a substantial response that needs to be made to this scurrilous piece. It mainly is a conglomerate of misrepresentations, which exhibits a vast void of biblical understanding, and is wholly lacking in personal ethics. Mr. Rogers’ (not the one you’d want “in your neighborhood”) article can be considered from several vantage points.

HATE SLURS

Much of the essay is pure venom, demonstrating more about the bitterness of the gentleman’s own soul than anything else. For example the Lord’s church is described as “a little-known fundamentalist Christian sect … primarily based in the rural sections of the South and Appalachia.” First of all, we are not a sect; but this we do confess: “after the Way which they call a sect,” we honor none but Jesus as our Founder and Master (Acts 24:14). Whether we are well-known is of little consequence; the important thing is that we be known by Christ. “The Lord knows them that are his” (2 Timothy 2:19). Apparently, though, we are influential enough to warrant Mr. Roger’s attention. We make no claim of being “fundamentalist,” such an appellation being wholly unnecessary. We are satisfied with being just “Christians,” which seems to gall the partisan mentality of our lawyer critic.

Rogers maliciously says that the average educational level among members of the church is below the 12th grade, and that an “educated” person among us is “an anomaly.” (Has he researched this matter?) The same sort of slander was made regarding Jesus (John 7:15), and his apostles (Acts 4:13), so we are in good company. The attorney’s implied boast of his own intellectual acumen is a striking example of why he is so unimpressed with basic gospel teaching (see 1 Corinthians 1:26). Besides that, anyone, regardless of his educational attainments, who understands the simple plan of human redemption, is vastly more “educated” than a lawyer/cleric who has never matriculated beyond the ABCs of biblical truth.

THEOLOGICAL MATTERS

Rogers ridicules our abstention from the use of mechanical instruments of music in worship, citing David’s use of the lyre. He obviously has no concept of the necessity for New Testament authority in matters of Christian worship (John 4:24). To teach, or to practice, something for which there is “no commandment,” i.e., it is without authority, is to be involved with that which subverts the soul (Acts 15:24). Why did the minister not cite David’s animal sacrifices (Psalms 66:13-15) as a precedent for modern worship? He is rather selective in how he appeals for support to Israel’s king.

Rogers charges that “they make being a member of their church co-extensive with being a Christian.” No, that is not correct. We confidentially contend that being a member of Christ’s church is essential to being identified as a Christian (Ephesians 1:22-23; Ephesians 4:4; Ephesians 5:26; 1 Peter 4:16-17). We recognize that in the first century there were no denominations, such as the one with which our critic is identified. All who obeyed the Lord were just “Christians,” without the clutterment of modern sectarianism (Acts 11:26; 26:28; 1 Peter 4:16). Why should anyone be faulted for wanting to be nothing more than what the people of God were under the direct guidance of the apostles of Christ? Such criticism is incredible.

Our Methodist friend contends we teach that the “only way to avoid damnation is to repent, be baptized, and join — and be accepted into — [our] denomination.” Mr. Rogers’ slap at repentance and baptism, as conditions in the plan of salvation, will have to be directed at Peter, for it was he who commanded: “Repent ye, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ unto the remission of your sins… “ (Acts 2:38). What arrogance—to dispute this issue with an inspired apostle of Jesus Christ (Luke 10:16). As for the accusation that we insist men must “join [our] denomination,” quite frankly, it is a prevarication. We have no denomination; we support no denomination; we would dissuade folks from aligning with any denomination! We do maintain that the exclusive route to redemption is in obeying Christ (Acts 4:11-12; Hebrews 5:8-9) — a truth which our lawyer/clergy friend apparently finds repulsive.

ETHICS

The following statement from Mr. Rogers is shocking indeed: “It is the president’s great misfortune that his inquisitor [Kenneth Starr] is a man who considers a little hanky-panky and its natural by-product (the covering lie), the equivalent of treason and bribery.” It is difficult to fathom the depth of perversity that is characteristic of this alleged “minister,” who views multiple adulteries as merely “a little hanky-panky.” Further, by what standard does the man rate the relative severity of adultery, perjury, treason, and bribery? He haughtily thrusts himself into the role of moral arbiter. One cannot but wonder whether Rogers’ wife (if he is married) would consider her husband’s adulterous adventures with a church secretary as just “a little hanky-panky”? Perhaps this, more than anything else, is a commentary on the level of the clergyman’s spirituality.

Again, note this: “Like other fundamentalist sects, the Church of Christ’s teaching focuses heavily upon sexual conduct.” That is not a truthful statement. We do not “focus” upon sexual immorality inordinately. We do affirm that adultery is evil. The apostle Paul spent an entire section of his first letter to the Corinthian church dealing with a man who was involved in “a little hanky-panky” with his stepmother. By the Lord’s authority, God’s apostle forcefully condemned the activity, and commanded the church to withdraw its association from the offender (1 Corinthians 5). A bit later, Paul affirmed that practicing fornicators and adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). In trivializing the President’s adultery, Rogers speaks as a moral reprobate.

The corrupt “morality” of this “ordained Methodist minister” is enough to make John Wesley, founder of the Methodist church, convulse in his grave. However mistaken Wesley was in certain areas of theology, he strongly believed in personal holiness. The Methodist Discipline states: “In 1729 two young men [John and Charles Wesley] in England, reading the Bible, saw that they could not be saved without holiness, followed after it, and incited others so to do” (New York: The Methodist Book Concern, 1939, p. 3). There is a chasm of light years between this sentiment, and that suggested by H. John Rogers. The abandonment of biblical morality, while attempting to retain a superficial identity with Christianity, as evinced by Mr. Rogers, is abject hypocrisy, and is the very thing that has turned so many confused souls away from a consideration of the true religion of Jesus Christ. It is a heavy burden to bear. The gentleman is a disgrace to his profession.

In conclusion we must make this observation: If the churches of Christ encounter no adversary more formidable than H. John Rogers, we may rest at ease.