72 Sermon Illustrations on Gossip

Christian workers have an unusual opportunity to listen to people. In the course of their many conversations, many promises are given, statements made, and excuses offered. Perhaps it is easy to see, then, that some people do not “say what they mean”:

“THEY SAY” usually means, “I heard it from at least one source, but everybody must believe it.”

“IT NEEDS TO BE DONE” means, “I'm not going to do anything about it, but the church ought to.”

“I'VE HEARD SOME CRITICISM”

Usually means, I'm against it but I don't have the nerve to state my belief.”

“THE WHOLE CHURCH IS UPSET"

Usually means, “two or three loud mouths have turned lose their venom.”

“IT MIGHT BRING CRITICISM” means, I know it should be done but it take too much effort for me to do it.”

“IF MY MEMORY SERVES ME RIGHT” really means, “I'm going to say something I'm not sure of, whether true or false, but if somebody discovers I'm wrong, then I can always blame my memory.”

“PREACHER, I WILL BE THERE IF I'M NOT PROVIDENTIALLY HINDERED” nearly always means, If I am not there, you can blame God for it.”

“I'LL COME EVERY TIME I CAN”

Usually means, “If I do not have something better to do I'll be there.”

“I WON'T PROMISE, BUT I'LL DO MY BEST” means, “Don't expect much out of me.”

“I'M STILL STUDYING THE QUESTION” usually means, “I want to stay in a position to agree with both sides.”

You can take it from there! Christians should be far more careful to mean what they say and say what they mean than people of the world. (Matthew 5:36-37).

________

Source: Monday Fodder; submitted by Charles Kitner

*

In Today's Christian Woman, Ramona Cramer Tucker writes:

While at a restaurant after lunch, my friend Michelle and her coworker, Sharon, stopped in the restroom to fix their makeup before returning to their jobs. Their small talk turned to the subject of a woman who drove them crazy. Michelle launched into a two-minute diatribe about their coworker Beth. As Michelle prepared to divulge more, a stall door opened. Out walked Beth, red-faced and angry.

Michelle and Beth stared at each other in embarrassed panic. Michelle knew she couldn't take her words back. In the instant their eyes met, Beth fled out the door. That afternoon, Beth didn't return to work. The next day Michelle heard through the grapevine that Beth had resigned. While other staff members cheered what seemed to be good news, Michelle felt miserable. She wished she had talked to Beth instead of talking about Beth.

Although that situation happened five years ago, Michelle's never forgotten it. She tried to reach Beth several times by phone, then wrote her a letter of apology. Beth never responded. Michelle says she learned her lesson about loose lips the hard way. What's worse is that Michelle's a Christian, and Beth, to her knowledge, isn't.

__________

Source: “Loose Lips,” Today's Christian Woman (Nov/Dec 2000)

Rev. Bruce Dunn has a preacher friend in Toronto who kept a scrapbook about wayward preachers. The news clippings and pictures about any preacher who went astray was filed in his scrapbook under the various categories of Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Baptist, Pentecostal, etc.

When someone came up to him as they often did and someone said to him that he read about some straying preacher, he would say, “Do you have a few minutes? Come into my study.” Then he would pull down his scrapbook and say, “What is your denomination?” The man would say, “Well, I’m a Methodist.” “Oh, let’s turn over to the Methodist section here.” Then he would read them about what some straying Methodist ministers had done.

The Bible says, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!” (1 Cor. 10:12).

*

A man was beaten to death by an undetermined number of people after the car he had been riding in hit and injured a 2-year-old. According to reports, the June 19 attack on David Morales in Austin, Texas, occurred when he went to check on the child. Ironically, the child was not seriously injured.

More than a year ago, police arrested three members of the Duke University lacrosse team after they were accused of raping an exotic dancer at a fraternity party. Many members of the Duke faculty circulated a letter condemning the accused students and asked that they be suspended. Ironically, all charges against the players were eventually dropped because there was no evidence that a sexual assault ever took place. The accuser, it seems, was less than truthful.

What do the recent beating in Austin and the Duke rape case have in common? In both cases individuals jumped to conclusions and hurdled over the concept of presumed innocent until proven guilty -- a concept that is foundational to our legal system.

Jumping to a conclusion is an emotional reaction to a presumed reality. It does not take into account facts and ignores context. Both of which are critical if one is interested in arriving at the truth of any given situation.

The people who beat David Morales to death in Austin reacted emotionally, irrationally and immediately to a tragic accident. In their rage, they not only failed to check on the child’s condition but they also attacked and killed an innocent man.

The professors at Duke who circulated the condemning letter were certain of the lacrosse players’ guilt. Their politically correct rage made them deaf and blind to any evidence that might contradict their conclusion. The result: These learned individuals were ready to throw innocent individuals under the jail.

The Duke case proves that education does not render one immune from the propensity of jumping to a conclusion. Every time we are exposed to information, the temptation to draw a conclusion without considering facts and context is ever present.

Jumping to conclusions seems to have become a national pastime. News organizations routinely publish polls based on what people “think” or “feel” about certain events or situations. The flaw in these surveys is that too many people participating simply have no idea what they are talking about. They are only reacting, usually emotionally, without the benefit of a full range of facts or context.

While innocent until proven guilty is a legal maxim that is applied to a court of law, it would a wise standard to adopt for life. The next time you are privy to a bit of negative gossip about someone, don’t just jump to any old conclusion. Take some time to examine the broader context of the situation and see if any other facts emerge.

Here is an example. Jesus told the story of a widow who gave two cents to the temple treasury. Hearing the first part of the story, you might think: “The widow who lives down the street only gave two cents to the treasury today.” You can jump to the conclusion that the widow is stingy and cheap or you can wait until you have more facts and some context.

If you withhold judgment and are patient, you eventually would learn that the widow gave all the money that she had to live on. In fact, some of the biggest contributors to the temple treasury are the stingiest because they give on a tiny portion of their wealth. In comparison, the widow is probably the most significant contributor.

To avoid the temptation of jumping to a conclusion, remember that a person should be presumed innocent until he or she has been proven guilty. Additionally, nothing is meaningful without a context and all the facts are needed in order to have a complete picture of reality.

If the aforementioned had been applied in Austin, Texas, and Durham, North Carolina, the outcomes could have been so different. Instead, people jumped to conclusions based on emotion and bias. As a result one man is dead and the reputations of many are in tatters.

Jumping to conclusions has consequences, sometimes life-altering ones. “For lack of wood the fire goes out,” Solomon wrote. “And where there is no whisperer (gossiper) contention quiets down.” Wise words to remember the next time you are tempted to jump to a conclusion.

*

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #21059]

Gossip is more powerful than truth, a study showed on Monday, suggesting people believe what they hear through the grapevine even if they have evidence to the contrary.

Researchers, testing students using a computer game, also found gossip played an important role when people make decisions, said Ralf Sommerfeld, an evolutionary biologist at the Max Planck Institute in Germany, who led the study.

“We show that gossip has a strong influence... even when participants have access to the original information as well as gossip about the same information,” the researchers wrote in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. “Thus, it is evident that gossip has a strong manipulative potential.”

In the study, the researchers gave the students money and allowed them to give it to others in a series of rounds. The students also wrote notes about how others played the game that everyone could review.

Students tended to give less money to people described as “nasty misers” or “scrooges” and more to those depicted as “generous players” or “social players,” Sommerfeld said. “People only saw the gossip, not the past decisions,” he said in a telephone interview. “People really reacted on it.”

The researchers then took the game a step further and showed the students the actual decisions people had made. But they also supplied false gossip that contradicted that evidence. In these cases, the students based their decisions to award money on the gossip, rather than the hard evidence, showing such information is a powerful tool, Sommerfeld said.

“Rationally if you know what the people did, you should care, but they still listened to what others said,” he said. “They even reacted on it if they knew better.”

Researchers have long used similar games to study how people cooperate and the impact of gossip in groups. Scientists define gossip as social information spread about a person who is not present, Sommerfeld said.

________

Copyright 2007 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved.

Sandra Milholland writes in Upreach magazine:

“Ladies, beware of those ‘coffee klatches’ with the girls in the neighborhood or on your coffee break at work. I have noticed that husbands often get skewered, cooked, and eaten at those gatherings ... and a ten o’clock gab session in the morning can have a subtle but powerful impact on how a wife will treat her husband in the evening. Sue complains about her husband. Gretchen complains about hers and others join in with similar complaints. Agreeing that ‘men are all alike,’ everyone feeds on everyone else’s grievances.

"I would like to challenge us to break that truly vicious cycle. Begin by spending time thinking warm thoughts about your husband, and the next time your friends want to play ‘Ain’t Hubby Awful,’ let your responses be only positive ones. Build him up in the eyes of others.….

"Guys, I’m talking to you too. When other men complain about their ‘little missus,’ march to the beat of a different drummer and praise your woman. After all, she did have the good sense to marry you, didn’t she?”

This past year, if someone had paid you ten dollars for every kind word you ever spoke about other people, and also collected five dollars for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” Proverbs 29:18

“Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.” Jonathan Swift–Thoughts on Various Subjects

“Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for, because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.” Peter Marshall, Mr. Jones, Meet the Master

“Vision is of God. A vision comes in advance of any task well done.” –Katherine Logan

This eighth-century, anonymous, Irish hymn text expresses, in the quaint Celtic style, the ageless need of man to have a heavenly vision and to experience God’s care and personal presence throughout this earthly pilgrimage. The author’s high regard for God is evident in the various titles ascribed Him: Vision, Lord, Best Thought, Wisdom, Word, Great Father, High King, Inheritance, Treasure, Sun, Ruler, and Heart. [see Kerux Illustration #14828]

Another interesting verse often omitted in our hymnals is as follows:

Be Thou my breast-plate, my sword for the fight,

Be Thou my armour, and be Thou my might;

Thou my soul’s shelter, and Thou my high tower,

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my Power.

Mary Byrne’s translation of this ancient Irish poem into English prose first appeared in the journal Erin, Volume Two, published in 1905. Later the prose was put into verse form by Eleanor H. Hull and published in her Poem Book of the Gael, 1912. The tune, “ Slane, “ is a traditional Irish air from Patrick W. Joyce’s collection, Old Irish Folk Music and Songs, published in 1909. The tune was originally used with a secular text, “With My Love on the Road.” Its first association with this hymn text was in the Irish Church Hymnal of 1919. The tune is named for a hill, ten miles from Tara, in County Meath, where St. Patrick is said to have challenged King Loegaire and the Druid priests by lighting the Paschal fire on Easter eve. Although the melody has been harmonized by various musicians such as Norman Johnson (See “Not What These Hands Have Done,” No. 64), it is generally recommended that this tune is most effective when sung in unison.

Mary Elizabeth Byrne was born in Dublin, Ireland, in 1880. She received her education at the University of Dublin and became a research worker and writer for the Board of Intermediate Education in her home town. One of her most important works was her contribution to the Old and Mid-Irish Dictionary and the Dictionary of the Irish Language.

Eleanor H. Hull was born in Manchester, England, on January 15, 1860. She was the founder and secretary of the Irish Text Society and served as president of the Irish Literary Society, in London. She authored several books on Irish history and literature.

Another anonymous writer has penned these significant thoughts about the importance of having a vision for one’s life:

. vision without a task is a dream;

. task without a vision is drudgery;

. vision with a task is the hope of the world.

Truly our visionary attitude throughout life is often the difference between success and mediocrity. One is reminded of the classic story of the two shoe-salesmen who were sent to a primitive island to determine business potential. The first salesman wired back, “Coming home immediately. No one here wears shoes.” The second man responded, “Send a boatload of shoes immediately. The possibilities for selling shoes here are unlimited. “

May we as believers be characterized as people of vision — “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. … “ Hebrews 12:2

“The highest joy that can be known by those who heav’n-ward wend– It is the Word of Life to own, and God to have as friend. –Nils Frykman

“To the preacher, life’s a sermon, To the joker, life’s a jest, To the miser, life is money, To the loafer, life’s a rest. “To the soldier, life’s a battle, To the teacher, life’s a school. Life’s a great thing for the thinker, But it’s folly to the fool. “Life is just one long vacation, To the man who loves his work, But it’s constant dodging duty To the everlasting shirk. “To the faithful, earnest worker Life’s a story ever new; Life is what we try to make it — What in truth is life to you?” –Unknown

You perhaps recall the story of the blacksmith who gave his heart to God. Though conscientious in his living, still he was not prospering materially. In fact, it seems that from the time of his conversion more trouble, affliction and loss were sustained than ever before. Everything seemed to be going wrong.

One day a friend who was not a Christian stopped at the little gorge to talk to him. Sympathizing with him in some of his trials, the friend said, “It seems strange to me that so much affliction should pass over you just at the time when you have become an earnest Christian. Of course, I don’t want to weaken your faith in God or anything like that. But here you are, God’s help and guidance, and yet things seem to be getting steadily worse. I can’t help wondering why it is.”

The blacksmith did not answer immediately, and it was evident that he had thought the same question before. But finally, he said “You see here the raw iron which I have to make into horse’s shoes. You know what I do with it? I take a piece and heat it in the fire until it is red, almost white with the heat. Then I hammer it unmercifully to shape it as I know it should be shaped. Then I plunge it into a pail of cold water to temper it. Then I heat it again and hammer it some more. I do this until it is finished.”

“But sometimes I find a piece of iron that won’t stand up under this treatment. The heat and the hammering and the cold water are too much for it. I don’t know why it fails in the process, but I know it will never make a good horse’s shoe.”

He pointed to a heap of scrap iron that was near the door of his shop. “When I get a piece that cannot take the shape and temper, I throw it out on the scrap heap. It will never be good for anything.”

He went on, “I know that God has been holding me in the fires of affliction and I have felt His hammer upon me. But I don’t mind if only He can bring me to what I should be. And so, in all these hard things my prayer is simply this: Try me in any way you wish, Lord, only don’t throw me on the scrap heap.” — By Lynell Waterman,

Why do we call gossip “scuttlebutt?” . . . Say this word out loud a couple of times in succession and it will sound like total nonsense. That’s because the words from which it comes have nothing to do with present day life. Scuttle and butt hearken back to the olden days of sailing ships.

The butt was a cask of fresh drinking water–a very important object on any ship. The scuttle was the hatch or hole on the deck of the ship near which the butt was placed. Sailors coming over for a drink tended to linger for a moment, exchanging the “latest” with whomever else was drinking. What they said became known as scuttlebutt. Today at work we gossip around the water cooler. — Source: WEBSTER’S THIRD NEW INTERNATIONAL DICTIONARY

Christian workers have an unusual opportunity to listen to people. In the course of their many conversations, many promises are given, statements made, and excuses offered. Perhaps it is easy to see, then, that some people do not “say what they mean”:

“THEY SAY” usually means, “I heard it from at least one source, but everybody must believe it.”

“IT NEEDS TO BE DONE” means, “I'm not going to do anything about it, but the church ought to.”

“I'VE HEARD SOME CRITICISM”

Usually means, I'm against it but I don't have the nerve to state my belief.”

“THE WHOLE CHURCH IS UPSET"

Usually means, “two or three loud mouths have turned lose their venom.”

“IT MIGHT BRING CRITICISM” means, I know it should be done but it take too much effort for me to do it.”

“IF MY MEMORY SERVES ME RIGHT” really means, “I'm going to say something I'm not sure of, whether true or false, but if somebody discovers I'm wrong, then I can always blame my memory.”

“PREACHER, I WILL BE THERE IF I'M NOT PROVIDENTIALLY HINDERED” nearly always means, If I am not there, you can blame God for it.”

“I'LL COME EVERY TIME I CAN”

Usually means, “If I do not have something better to do I'll be there.”

“I WON'T PROMISE, BUT I'LL DO MY BEST” means, “Don't expect much out of me.”

“I'M STILL STUDYING THE QUESTION” usually means, “I want to stay in a position to agree with both sides.”

You can take it from there! Christians should be far more careful to mean what they say and say what they mean than people of the world. (Matthew 5:36-37).

________

Source: Monday Fodder; submitted by Charles Kitner

*

About 20 years ago, I said something impromptu to the new members standing in a row across the front of the church. As we received them, the Holy Spirit prompted me to add, “And now, I charge you that if you ever hear another member speak an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone -- myself, an usher, a choir member, or anyone else -- that you stop that person in mid-sentence and say, ‘Excuse me - who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it Pastor Cymbala? Let’s go to his office right now. He’ll apologize to you, and then we’ll pray together so God can restore peace to this body. But we won’t let you talk critically about people who aren’t present to defend themselves.’

“I’m serious about this. I want you to help resolve this kind of thing immediately. And know this: If you are ever the one doing the loose talking, we’ll confront you.”

To this day, every time we receive new members, I say much the same thing. That’s because I know what most easily destroys churches. It’s not crack cocaine, government oppression, or even lack of funds. Rather it’s gossip and slander that grieves the Holy Spirit.

________

Jim Cymbala, FRESH WIND, FRESH FIRE (Zondervan, 1997); quoted in Men of Integrity (January/February 2001).

“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” Proverbs 29:18

“Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.” Jonathan Swift–Thoughts on Various Subjects

“Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for, because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.” Peter Marshall, Mr. Jones, Meet the Master

“Vision is of God. A vision comes in advance of any task well done.” –Katherine Logan

This eighth-century, anonymous, Irish hymn text expresses, in the quaint Celtic style, the ageless need of man to have a heavenly vision and to experience God’s care and personal presence throughout this earthly pilgrimage. The author’s high regard for God is evident in the various titles ascribed Him: Vision, Lord, Best Thought, Wisdom, Word, Great Father, High King, Inheritance, Treasure, Sun, Ruler, and Heart. [see Kerux Illustration #14828]

Another interesting verse often omitted in our hymnals is as follows:

Be Thou my breast-plate, my sword for the fight,

Be Thou my armour, and be Thou my might;

Thou my soul’s shelter, and Thou my high tower,

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my Power.

Mary Byrne’s translation of this ancient Irish poem into English prose first appeared in the journal Erin, Volume Two, published in 1905. Later the prose was put into verse form by Eleanor H. Hull and published in her Poem Book of the Gael, 1912. The tune, “ Slane, “ is a traditional Irish air from Patrick W. Joyce’s collection, Old Irish Folk Music and Songs, published in 1909. The tune was originally used with a secular text, “With My Love on the Road.” Its first association with this hymn text was in the Irish Church Hymnal of 1919. The tune is named for a hill, ten miles from Tara, in County Meath, where St. Patrick is said to have challenged King Loegaire and the Druid priests by lighting the Paschal fire on Easter eve. Although the melody has been harmonized by various musicians such as Norman Johnson (See “Not What These Hands Have Done,” No. 64), it is generally recommended that this tune is most effective when sung in unison.

Mary Elizabeth Byrne was born in Dublin, Ireland, in 1880. She received her education at the University of Dublin and became a research worker and writer for the Board of Intermediate Education in her home town. One of her most important works was her contribution to the Old and Mid-Irish Dictionary and the Dictionary of the Irish Language.

Eleanor H. Hull was born in Manchester, England, on January 15, 1860. She was the founder and secretary of the Irish Text Society and served as president of the Irish Literary Society, in London. She authored several books on Irish history and literature.

Another anonymous writer has penned these significant thoughts about the importance of having a vision for one’s life:

. vision without a task is a dream;

. task without a vision is drudgery;

. vision with a task is the hope of the world.

Truly our visionary attitude throughout life is often the difference between success and mediocrity. One is reminded of the classic story of the two shoe-salesmen who were sent to a primitive island to determine business potential. The first salesman wired back, “Coming home immediately. No one here wears shoes.” The second man responded, “Send a boatload of shoes immediately. The possibilities for selling shoes here are unlimited. “

May we as believers be characterized as people of vision — “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. … “ Hebrews 12:2

“The highest joy that can be known by those who heav’n-ward wend– It is the Word of Life to own, and God to have as friend. –Nils Frykman

“To the preacher, life’s a sermon, To the joker, life’s a jest, To the miser, life is money, To the loafer, life’s a rest. “To the soldier, life’s a battle, To the teacher, life’s a school. Life’s a great thing for the thinker, But it’s folly to the fool. “Life is just one long vacation, To the man who loves his work, But it’s constant dodging duty To the everlasting shirk. “To the faithful, earnest worker Life’s a story ever new; Life is what we try to make it — What in truth is life to you?” –Unknown

You perhaps recall the story of the blacksmith who gave his heart to God. Though conscientious in his living, still he was not prospering materially. In fact, it seems that from the time of his conversion more trouble, affliction and loss were sustained than ever before. Everything seemed to be going wrong.

One day a friend who was not a Christian stopped at the little gorge to talk to him. Sympathizing with him in some of his trials, the friend said, “It seems strange to me that so much affliction should pass over you just at the time when you have become an earnest Christian. Of course, I don’t want to weaken your faith in God or anything like that. But here you are, God’s help and guidance, and yet things seem to be getting steadily worse. I can’t help wondering why it is.”

The blacksmith did not answer immediately, and it was evident that he had thought the same question before. But finally, he said “You see here the raw iron which I have to make into horse’s shoes. You know what I do with it? I take a piece and heat it in the fire until it is red, almost white with the heat. Then I hammer it unmercifully to shape it as I know it should be shaped. Then I plunge it into a pail of cold water to temper it. Then I heat it again and hammer it some more. I do this until it is finished.”

“But sometimes I find a piece of iron that won’t stand up under this treatment. The heat and the hammering and the cold water are too much for it. I don’t know why it fails in the process, but I know it will never make a good horse’s shoe.”

He pointed to a heap of scrap iron that was near the door of his shop. “When I get a piece that cannot take the shape and temper, I throw it out on the scrap heap. It will never be good for anything.”

He went on, “I know that God has been holding me in the fires of affliction and I have felt His hammer upon me. But I don’t mind if only He can bring me to what I should be. And so, in all these hard things my prayer is simply this: Try me in any way you wish, Lord, only don’t throw me on the scrap heap.” — By Lynell Waterman,

Why do we call gossip “scuttlebutt?” . . . Say this word out loud a couple of times in succession and it will sound like total nonsense. That’s because the words from which it comes have nothing to do with present day life. Scuttle and butt hearken back to the olden days of sailing ships.

The butt was a cask of fresh drinking water–a very important object on any ship. The scuttle was the hatch or hole on the deck of the ship near which the butt was placed. Sailors coming over for a drink tended to linger for a moment, exchanging the “latest” with whomever else was drinking. What they said became known as scuttlebutt. Today at work we gossip around the water cooler. — Source: WEBSTER’S THIRD NEW INTERNATIONAL DICTIONARY