03.12. SCRIPTURE ON DIVORCE
SCRIPTURE ON DIVORCE This becomes clear when we consider what the Scriptures actually say in relation to divorce.
Divorce: a Concession, Not a Command
It needs to be noted straightaway that the Lord’s Word nowhere commands divorce. The most one can say is that the Lord leaves room for divorce. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4 we read:
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favour in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.”
Note carefully how this one sentence is put together. What is the command of these four verses? The command is not to give a bill of divorce. Nor is the command to marry someone else after divorce. The command is contained in Deuteronomy 24:4 : “then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled.” Whilst the Deuteronomy 24:1-3 describe the circumstances, Deuteronomy 24:4 contains the command, namely, that a husband cannot take back the wife he divorced - if she in the meantime has been married to another man. The Pharisees once asked Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” (Matthew 19:3). This question was borne out of a dispute between two rabbis, Shammai and Hillel, over what were to be regarded as lawful reasons for divorce. In His reply, Jesus appealed to Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24 : “And (Jesus) answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?”’ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what’ God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:4-6). Jesus’ closing words summarized the principle of the beginning: God did not build an escape hatch into the institution of marriage. In reply, the Pharisees responded with a further question: “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” To this question Jesus replied, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:7-8). Notice the difference in words. In reference to Moses the Pharisees use the word “command”, while Jesus uses the word “permit”. The point is that Moses never commanded divorce; he instead regulated what was to happen in a specific circumstance after divorce had occurred. To that degree it can be said that he permitted divorce. And he permitted divorce, Jesus insists, only “because of the hardness of your hearts.” That is, the people of Israel insisted on divorcing. But this is not how God ordained it in the beginning.
Adultery: the ONE Permissible Ground for Divorce The one lawful ground Jesus gave for divorce is adultery: “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9). Note: even in the case of adultery, Jesus gives no command to divorce. He does nothing more than permit it. In Matthew 5:31-32 Jesus said, “Furthermore it has been said, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.” But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” With these words Jesus attacked the false perception that divorce was permissible for whatever reason. Jesus insists that divorcing causes the spouse to commit adultery, and that is wrong. In Jesus’ day there was no such thing as ‘social security’ as we know it. The social circumstances at the time drove a woman left on her own to find another man as quickly as possible. A woman divorced for reasons other than adultery was as good as pushed into adultery for the sake of survival.
Mark 10:2-12 is a parallel passage to Matthew 19:3-9. Here the crux of Jesus’ answer to the question of the Pharisees: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” is: “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:9). God instituted marriage, and so His authority has the final say on the matter. God’s intent for marriage from the very beginning was that man and woman became one flesh: “...from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two but one flesh” (Matthew 19:6-8). Implied here is a permanent unity; God placed no exit door in the institution of marriage! Therefore, said Christ, let not man separate by divorce what God has made one through marriage. Moses did not command divorce, but, as the Pharisees themselves said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her” (Matthew 19:3). The disciples who witnessed the discussion between Jesus and the Pharisees on the matter of divorce reserved their questions on the matter for when they were alone with their Master. In Mark 10:10 we read, “In the house (Jesus’) disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.” So Christ elaborated further saying, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:11-12). Similar can be read in Luke 16:18 : “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.” As explained earlier, the sin of adultery is the only legitimate ground for divorce given in Scripture. In Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18 however Jesus warns against becoming guilty of the sin of adultery as a result of divorce, be it by divorcing one’s spouse and marrying another, or by marrying one who is divorced.
Let Mark 10:9 be the starting point, or the ‘spectacles’ with which we approach all texts in Scripture that deal with the various aspects of the issue of divorce: “... what God has joined together, let not man separate.” It must he fixed in our minds that when God created marriage He did not create it with an escape route. Because of the brokenness of sin there is an escape route, but we may not open that door. What it requires for that door to be opened is no less than the sin of adultery by one’s spouse. The other person, then, opens the door. Only then will God permit divorce. It is wrong, therefore, to marry with the mindset: “we’re getting married and we’ll see how long it lasts!” Scripture makes clear that marriage is for life. The Case of the Unbelieving Spouse A Scripture passage people sometimes use as an argument to justify that there is an escape hatch to marriage is 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. In the 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 Paul first appeals to the authority of Christ. His point of departure is what the Lord Himself taught concerning marriage: “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.” Christ affirmed marriage to be a permanent unity between a man and woman as instituted by God in the beginning. In short, no divorce for no man may divide what God has united.
Paul then goes on to instruct the Corinthians how they are to apply this principle of marriage in their particular circumstances. Corinth was a pagan city in which some people had responded to the call of the gospel with faith and repentance. In some families only the one spouse was converted. Understandably, this put tensions on the marriage, for the believing partner was no longer the person he used to be; his conversion changed him. What, now, were those believers to do when their spouses wished to walk out on the marriage? Paul’s advice was this:
“But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”
Paul made clear to his readers that the Lord Jesus, during His time on earth, .had given no command specific to the Corinthian situation. The advice Paul gives is what he understood to be God’s will in light of Jesus’ general instruction plus what God had revealed in Old Testament Scripture concerning marriage. Therefore he prefaced his advice with the Lord’s principle for marriage: honour your marriage vows and hence do not divorce. Then Paul went on to say that if your unbelieving spouse was willing to live with you, leave it that way; do not divorce. But if the unbelieving spouse wished to leave the Christian spouse, let him go; after all, all you gain by attempting to force him to stay is friction - and “God has called us to peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15). Note the absence of any suggestion of Paul to divorce the unbelieving spouse! All he recommended was to let them go if they so insisted: “... a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases,” is not bound to keep the marriage physically together. Does that mean that the divorced person no longer has an obligation to the ex-spouse? Granted, legally a divorce may terminate a marriage in the sense that no responsibilities remain to the previous spouse. But the indications of Scripture are that the divorced person retains obligations towards the ex-spouse. God established the bond of marriage for life. God’s example was to call even His divorced people to repentance. The unity of marriage may be broken by a divorce, but the need to pray for the ex-spouse’s repentance (and conversion) remains. In short, a moral obligation continues to bind the divorced person to his previous spouse.