In the Bible, a critical examination of one's heart is encouraged, particularly in regards to the presence of bitterness. Ephesians 4:31 warns against letting bitterness take root, while James 3:14 cautions that it can lead to envy and selfish ambition. Conversely, scriptures like Ephesians 4:32 and Proverbs 31:1-31 describe the importance of kindness, compassion, and gentle words in relationships. A heart free from bitterness is also essential for loving one's siblings in Christ, as 1 John 2:9 emphasizes the need to walk in the light and love one another.
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Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice.
But if you harbor bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast in it or deny the truth.
Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.
These are the words of King Lemuel—the burden that his mother taught him: What shall I say, O my son? What, O son of my womb? What, O son of my vows? Do not spend your strength on women or your vigor on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to crave strong drink, lest they drink and forget what is decreed, depriving all the oppressed of justice. Give strong drink to one who is perishing, and wine to the bitter in soul. Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Open your mouth for those with no voice, for the cause of all the dispossessed. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the cause of the poor and needy. A wife of noble character, who can find? She is far more precious than rubies. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he lacks nothing of value. She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She rises while it is still night to provide food for her household and portions for her maidservants. She appraises a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and shows that her arms are strong. She sees that her gain is good, and her lamp is not extinguished at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household, for they are all clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known at the city gate, where he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the days to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband praises her as well: “Many daughters have done noble things, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her at the gates.
If anyone claims to be in the light but hates his brother, he is still in the darkness.
Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God, and that no root of bitterness springs up to cause trouble and defile many.
Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to control his whole body. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can guide the whole animal. Consider ships as well. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot is inclined. In the same way, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts of great things. Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze. The tongue also is a fire, a world of wickedness among the parts of the body. It pollutes the whole person, sets the course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be! Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree grow olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good conduct, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast in it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure, then peace-loving, gentle, accommodating, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap the fruit of righteousness.
