Interpersonal Relations

I want to take up a little bit this morning on what I would call interpersonal relations, and I would link that of the essential of it for dealing and working in the gospel. We read in Psalm 133, where the saints dwelt together in unity, in those three verses, there the Lord commands the blessing. Unity is not optional, but unity is essential.

No such thing as a long ranger in the things of God, if we want to put it that way. We need one another, and we realize very much that it's the gracious work of the Holy Spirit to save a soul. Now before I get to my subject, I'd like to just mention an incident that occurred that thrilled my heart, and it might encourage you to just give out gospel papers.

I'll just take a minute or two. It was down in the land of Douglas, Arizona, visiting one in a care home. We used to come to meetings, and when we finished I told Linda, I says, let's work the neighborhood here in the apartments and just move fast.

We've only got a short time before we have other visits, and leave the seed sowers at the door. When we came home, a little while later, there was a card in the mail, apartment number 10, I'm not saved. I mailed the lady some literature.

She's Spanish. She printed the whole thing. I could understand it well.

Then we went down to visit the brother in the care home again, Alfred, and she wasn't home. I was disappointed. I says, well, I've got about four or five quality tracks, and I'll write a note, and I'll put it in an envelope, and when I got home from the meetings in Wisconsin, there was a letter.

I got saved through the track. The debt was paid of what he did on the cross for me. I want to encourage you.

Give out gospel papers. On my last trip to Wisconsin, I brought 1,000, and that wasn't enough. I was on E before I even headed home.

I've got a big box of them right by the seat of the car. I've had a lot of good opportunities just in the three days coming across. Linda, she said, how can you talk to somebody you've never met before? I said, well, you've got to open your mouth and talk to them, but anyway, that's a whole different subject, and I won't again bring in the gospel, but turn over to Matthew chapter five, but it's a thrilling, wonderful thing to be saved, and I never had the privilege to meet Mr. Baldhagen, but I used to hear the story of him that he used to have ducks, and he raised ducklings, and every duckling that he opened the shell himself to help in the birth was a dead duckling.

So, we take that as a principle. When we do not know when to back away and to pray, we'll have a false profession, but that's not my subject. So, anyway, Matthew chapter five and verse number 23.

Wherefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way, and first be recognized and reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Chapter 18, please. Verse 15.

Matthew 18, verse 15, please. Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone. Notice, we don't tell anyone else.

It's brought before the individual. Galatians says, if a brother have a fault, ye which are spiritual, we go to him to see him restored. Genesis chapter 50, please.

Probably the greatest example of reconciliation other than what the Lord Jesus has done. Genesis chapter 50, verse 17. So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren and their sin, for they did unto thee evil.

And now we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. And his brethren also went and fell down before his face, and they said, Behold, we be thy servants.

And Joseph said unto them, Father and Mother are gone now. Joseph is in the place of prime minister. He says, Fear not, I'm in the place of God.

But as for you, ye thought evil against me, but God meant it for good. To bring to pass that it is this day to save much people alive. Now therefore, fear ye not.

Notice, love, care, kindness. I will nourish you. After all you did, from the pit to the prison and all, can we forgive one another because we've been forgiven much? Where the saints dwell together in unity.

We're all different, different backgrounds, even a few different thoughts here and there. Unity is not optional, but it is essential. And the saints are the most excellent in all the earth.

I will nourish you as your little ones. And he comforted them and he spake kindly unto them. One more reading of Philippians chapter 2 and chapter 4 please.

Philippians chapter 2, it's written to an assembly. And verse 12. This is not working for your salvation or working out getting saved, but this is working out for a technical difficulty or a problem that's going to be mentioned in chapter 4. I want you to remember that this is an assembly.

You may not agree with me and that's quite alright, but I do not believe we need to call the preachers up, what should we do? I do not believe we need to call other elders up and ask what we should do. I believe every elderhood has the Holy Spirit on the word of God to guide them and to direct them and to move as an autonomous assembly and yet desiring to be in fellowship with all assemblies of like precious truth. So, he's telling them here in chapter 2, verse 12, work out your own salvation.

And what it is, is there's a problem that's arisen. And wherever there's people, there's problems. But how we deal with them is going to be of great effect.

And it will have an effect how the gospel flourishes and will have an effect on generations to come. And so, he says there's two sisters here. And verse 2, I beseech thee, Odius, prosperous journey it means of chapter 4. And scientache that they be of the same mind in the Lord.

Unity. We can have unity and yet diversity and not division. It's a thin edge of a wedge that can be very divisive.

They used to do a lot of mechanical work and rigging and all. And so, we used to carry a little hardened steel wedge. And if we could take that large machine and just break this wedge between the machine and the sole plate of the machinery, we knew we could move it.

In the West, the loggers would carry a plumb bob and they would carry a plastic wedge with a single bit ax. And the plumb bob would be used to get a reading of what way the tree is going to fall. And as he began to make that cut, he would drive that wedge in.

And that little wedge would help in the lean of that tree. It's only a little wedge that at times can cause friction between one another. I asked Mr. Slabaugh a question one time, and I'll get to the subject.

I said, Mr. Slabaugh, what do you do if somebody says you did this and you know you didn't do it? He says, that's simple. Apologize and move on. Because you're never going to change their mind.

I remember one time in the Aronican Conference, Mr. Lavery was there. And the beloved sister told me, you spoke on that last year. I said, I know I didn't.

I actually spent a number of days preparing on it. But I said, my calendar book is upstairs, and in it I write a few little places of where I spoke. I brought it down.

She says, I don't care what your calendar book says. I know you were wrong. Mr. Lavery was my help.

He says, she needs to change the film. Her photogenic mind is no longer working anymore. Best thing to do is just leave it.

You're not going to change it. So he's saying, there's two sisters here. How are we going to work this problem out? It's going to take somebody that has a mediator approach.

When it befalls upon you, beloved, as a mediator, you can never take sides. You're attempting to use the word of God to steer and to guide and direct and to work hearts for the honor and the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. So Matthew chapter 5, it says, go to thy brother.

I couldn't do that. I go to an assembly and there's situation X. How is situation X? It's six months later. Well, we're praying for it, praying about it.

Well, that's good. I says, has anybody ever opened their mouth and addressed the issue? Oh, no. We couldn't do that.

You are saying you know more than the Lord does. And you are saying that I can't address the issue. Because the Lord is saying to go to him.

And the Lord is saying to go. There's a price of reconciliation. And there's a greater price when reconciliation does not take place.

It is impossible to really come on the Lord's day morning. And I've had to apologize to brethren, I'll be honest. And be able to sit down and remember him.

And have aught with my brethren. Where I was saved, it says we'll receive you, announce to the assembly. And they said, we want you to read 1 Corinthians chapter 11 every day.

Until the assembly receives you. What stuck in my little mind in high school was, let a man examine himself. So let him partake.

As much as possible, no clouds between me and God. As much as possible, no clouds between me and my brethren. Matthew chapter 18.

It's dealing with a problem. And go to him. Communication.

Communication is not optional, but communication is essential. And the principles of the word of God never change. And so, let me just say that often times, maybe not in Iowa.

I've only been here a little bit. And uniquely, the Lord opened up Iowa and Wisconsin to me a little bit when COVID hit. Because Canada and the border was completely closed.

And many years, with five or six months of the year in Canada, and that all shut down. And then uniquely, I received phone calls, can you come this way? And so the Lord opened it up. But managing relationships is essential.

We live in a day today where everybody's worried about chemicals and pollutants and all. But can we let it go for the honor and the glory of the Lord Jesus? Can we just put it behind? You remember Abram. He had a word from God and he left.

And he built an altar and then he guided his own steps. And he lost his priestly activity. He forgot the promises.

He lacked the presence and the power of God. And there was a strife between the herds. Abram, the spiritual man, said, let there be no strife.

You take what field you want. We be brethren. Contention comes only because of pride.

A brother one time said, and don't ask me where, how can you humble yourself when you know you're better than your brother? Well, he missed the whole point. You can try to wrap your mind about it, but I couldn't. But anyway, the wrathful man stirs up strife.

This heavenly pathway, God desires that we might have a heavenly view as pilgrims. We're moving through. We're ambassadors for Christ.

I come to First Corinthians, the charter of the church, more local church teaching than any other epistle. As in every place are all the churches, chapter one and verse two. And I find there's three classes of people.

Brother Scott's going to say, I think they're mixed up. There's only two roads. Well, I'm not mixed up.

There's the natural man, there's the carnal man, and there's the spiritual man. So it could be possible I could be the carnal man. It brings strife, and it brings difficulty, and it brings complications.

First Corinthians 3 said there's strife, the carnal. First Corinthians chapter six and verse five, is there not a wise man among you? One of the greatest needs, I don't know your country, beloved, is for godly elders to be shepherds, to feed, help, guide, and direct God's people in this wilderness scene. Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory.

Stand fast with one spirit, one mind, striving for the gospel. Ephesians 4 says grieve not the Holy Spirit. We can grieve, hinder, and quench the working of the Holy Spirit.

We cannot engage in a spiritual work and warfare of sin in our midst. I'm not saying the Lord won't save a sovereign, but we should have all hands on deck, all hands and all hearts clean, and move as a band of men and women for the honor and the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. Philippians chapter four, he says I beseech thee, Odius, I exhort and seanthicate, happy chance and prosperous journey, if I did my word study right, that they be of the same mind in the Lord.

I've been asked the question more than once in the West, how can we ever have unity? I says that's a very simple one. Well, if it's so simple, give me the answer. Just obey what the word of God says.

I will probably be 95 or 98% on unity. But when I get out of step and pride raises its head, and you develop it any way you want, we lose unity. Unity, beloved, is essential.

Bless one another, love one another, encourage one another. Let me even say there might be some subjects not profitable publicly for a conference. They'd be good private subjects for the elders of an assembly to take on.

So there's a mediator approach. I view this scene, it would be a tough one to deal with because sisters are more sentimental or so, or maybe you need a box of Kleenex, I don't know. But he says, don't take sides, help them.

Help them. They're slipping, something's happened. They've been on fire for God, and now all of a sudden they got sidetracked.

He says, help them. Pray that they'll be an apology to one another. And maybe take their pulse a couple weeks later.

How are you doing? Keep it private. We live in a day of tremendous communication. I was telling one of the brethren that in high school, I was a ham radio operator, and we had what was called hams for Christ.

Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, that was my call sign, CQ. And we could send a message around the world with the old Morse code. And now we have this little phone, and I can see the face of somebody on the other side of the ocean.

It's absolutely amazing. Maintenance is not optional, it's essential when it comes to the things of God. I come to Ecclesiastes, and he says, through idleness of hands the building falls through and decayeth.

Through idleness of hands, maybe not hands, the assembly could get decayed. And decay, if it's not dealt with, gets worse, as we well know if you've ever done building or trying to fix your house. 1 Chronicles says to maintain the house of God.

The oil of the machinery is love. I took Mr. Frith up to the Edmonton conference in the late 70s where we were building the Kamloops Hall, and I says, Mr. Frith, I understand in reports of Venezuela that it's astounding blessings. I says, what, why is that? He says, it's very simple.

We all love one another, we love the Lord. How we want to move, they're gone. So then I says, well, what do you ever do if there happens to be a problem or some friction? He says, that's very simple.

I says, tell me what it is. He says, you pour in more oil. 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

John chapter 13, the badge of discipleship, by your love to one another, so all men know that you're my disciples. I was out with the Makah Indian tribe in gospel meetings, and a wrecker came to tow a car. Didn't have the keys, and the wheels were locked, and he says, I can't get it on the bed of the truck.

I says, I can get it on for you. He says, how are you going to do it? I says, give me a quart of oil. And I oiled the bed of the truck, and I says, go ahead and pull the winch up, and we'll just push it anywhere you want.

Just a little bit of oil, and you can move tremendous tonnage between several pieces of machinery. I've done it many a time. Just a little bit of love.

Open the home. Oh, I could never have them over to the house for what they said. You sure could.

We've been forgiven of all our sins. We're the saints of God. And one of the best ways to build up one another is to show love.

Now, they tell me there's a lot of different voices to love, and I'm kind of working on it. I learned one time that giving a stainless steel thermos to Linda on the birthday wasn't what she really thought was a good gift. I says, I can use it for work every day.

We can take it on a picnic. And I realized, well, there are different degrees of appreciation. But there are different voices of love.

We won't get into that. But relationships began to calvary. We can't lose our salvation.

Relationships can be fragile. Relationships must be maintained. Our relationship with himself will affect our relationship with one another.

I'll ask a question, but don't answer. Are you enjoying the Lord? Are you really thrilled to be saved, and it's well with your soul, and able to say, I can see his hand, and see his guidance, and see his preservation along the journey? I think that's been 1959 when I got saved. I won't do the arithmetic.

It'll mind boggle me. But he's faithful. Nothing more worth living than for him who loved us and gave himself for us.

And Amos says, except to be agreed, how can we walk together? It's not going to work. We're in the same family, the family of God. We've been bought with precious blood, the blood of the Lord Jesus.

We've been redeemed. We've been ransomed. We've been reconciled.

He's become the propitiation for our sins and them that believe. It's essential. Even if I step on your toes, even I'm clumsy, beloved.

We're told to love one another with a pure heart, fervently. I don't know if you've ever done any welding, but welding, of course, the rod is hot, the metal's hot, and you're fusing the metal together or ever watched The Blacksmith, and it would heat that metal first red and then it would be white hot. They might sprinkle a little powder on the metal and then they'd put those two white metals together and they'd hammer them together and they'd fuse together.

And that's the wording for love one another with a pure heart, fervently. Complex problems do not always revolve complex solutions. We have the word of God.

We have the gracious Holy Spirit. We are not made by our circumstances or manifest by them. It's not the gales that determines the set of the sails.

It's not the gales that determines this, but it's the set of the sails that determines where we go. And if our sails are set for me to live as Christ and to die as King, and our sails are set to attempt to bless one another and build up one another and encourage one another, that's a valuable Christian to have in your assembly. My mind goes to a family up in Edmonton.

Do pray for her little girl, team Eunice. Got liver problems. They were looking at a transplant the other day.

Thankfully, she's coming along well. The family's been in the assembly for a year from Canada, Ontario. But you know what they did? They've had every family in the assembly for their home for a meal in a year's time.

Good-sized assembly. Love, care, kindness. Oh, don't get up.

You can't clean the dishes. You're our guest. That's love to one another.

When we rightly divide a word of truth, we rightly have guidance for direction in complex situations, it seems. If I lose my joy of the Lord, I've lost my strength. And relationship breakdown can occur between me and the Lord.

And then a relationship conflict can occur, me and my brethren. Relationship requires stewardship. There's a call.

There's a cost. There's a commitment. There's dedication, devotion.

There'll be time management and consequences. Our standing is in Christ. Our state could change.

The enjoyment of the Lord, walking with the world, walking with the Lord could change. We read in the word of God that the servant of the Lord must not strive. For an Irishman, that takes a little grace.

I learn it a little more as days go on. The servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle with all men, not to teach. It's often said that the beloved elders need two things that's not written in the word of God.

The height of her anuserus, and the heart of a mother. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness. And to know that is good, to walk in that is essential.

The happiest Christians I know, and I'm not trying to put it in an emotional sense, are those that are doing things for others. Whether reaching in the gospel, whether blessing, whether taking younger out for a meal or this or that, or active, or those that aren't well, they're the happiest Christians because they're not occupied with self. They're occupied with others.

I'll use Mr. Matt Thresher for an example. He was a good help to me when we lived in New England. Called him up the other day, very weak.

He says, John, I can't do too much anymore, but I want you to know I pray for you and your wife every day. That's Christian love. We can pray for one another.

We can bless one another. We can wash one another's feet. A new commandment I give you.

Let ye love one another as I have loved you. There's a price paid for keeping the relationship. A greater price when bitterness comes in our heart.

Christian life is not only giving, but Christian life is forgiving. And we read in the word of God that they would forgive one if it trespassed against you seven times, 70 times. Well, I guess that's 490 times.

Is my arithmetic right? Scott's nodding his head, so that's a plus. I was in Castlegard, D.C. with a tent. Walter was a large Duke of Orr fellow arrested by the RCMP.

And I decided I would go to the court case because he'd been going to the meetings. The RCMP kind of eyed me funny in the back. And the judge said, Now, Walter, you know you were intoxicated and you were on your motorcycle.

And he says, This is your seventh offense for this. Walter says, Well, the officer hurt my hands when he put the handcuffs on me. Judge says, Can't help you.

He says, He threw my helmet down and he scratched it. He says, I can't help you. But then, Walter, he was unique.

He says, You know, Your Honor, I've been reading my Bible. And my Bible says if you've ought against your brother to forgive him 70 times, 70 times. And so I'm asking for the forgiveness of the court.

The judge was a sharp cookie. He says, Forgiveness is from God. You've wronged the crown and you're going to jail.

Well, it was an interesting scene. I would have liked to have filmed it, but God reminds us to walk in newness of life. Sometimes in marriage, there can be friction.

There can be difficulty. Remember, there's no evangelistic dating. You say, What's that? Well, he's a handsome man, or such a thing, or a pretty lady.

And that's the one, if I could get him saved, I want to marry. Be not unequally yoked together, believer with unbeliever. I am thoroughly convinced that the God of heaven who knows your needs can bring that one across your path for his honor and glory.

It's a sister in California. I won't tell you where because you'll be able to locate because the assemblies are small. Mr. Gustafson, when we had meetings, he said, Why don't you go to a few of the conferences and maybe you'll meet somebody.

She was top of the class. She says, Mr. Gustafson, I have a Sunday school class and I am thoroughly confident that if God wants, he can bring the man here without me running all over the country looking for one. I thought that was pretty good.

I just sat there and listened. So we read in Genesis 24, I being in the way of the Lord, he led me. Wilt thou go with thy man? He's going.

Marriage is to be held in honor and the dead undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Could I plead with you, beloved, younger and older, keep thyself pure? Now, Scott might be a runner. I'm not a runner.

You can tell looking at me. But there's one thing to run from, flee from youthful lusts which war against your soul. Get out of there as quick as you can.

Be careful in your companions. Be careful in your associations. I'll quote Mr. Billy Graham, though I don't agree with all he did.

He would never get in an elevator if there's only a woman there. He would never go in his room until his associates checked the room. There's nobody in there to bring false charges.

I cannot have meetings in New Works without the missus with me because most times there's nobody to join. Be careful in your visits, brother. That you're not with a woman alone.

You can get a bad name. It can destroy testimony. That's common personal relationships.

There was a problem that occurred in Genesis 27 that they never expected. There was a divided home. And the mother and the father had technical difficulties together and maybe there was a root of jealousy that developed however you want.

Cancer is a dread disease and it can grow if it's not healed. I know by having it cut off. Conflicts will grow if they're not dealt with.

That's why Matthew 5. That's why Matthew chapter 18. We have an enemy wants to divide the home. We have an enemy that wants to trip us up in this wilderness scene.

We have an enemy that wants to divide the assembly and climb in the back door or through the back window or whatever it is and throw some kind of monkey wrench. Older mechanics with no at that edge. You couldn't buy one at the store anymore today.

To get in the gears and hinder the working of the assembly. The closer the relationship the more that can be lost by handling it wrong and the more that can be gained by handling it right. A young couple told me that they decided they would tell one another their faults.

So the husband was very smart. He says, you go first. And she told him some things and he was super smart.

He says, you know what? You're beautiful in my eyes. Case was closed. Preacher one time talked to one of the men he was going to marry and he was getting nervous and he says, well, just think of it as two ships coming together into the harbor.

And he saw about a month later and said, how is it? He says, well, he didn't tell me that one of the ships was a battleship. Well, we want to maintain unity. Wives submit.

Saints obey. Woman was taken from Adam's head. Did not dominate.

Not be trodden down. Be protected, preserved, and near his heart. Sometimes there's a breakdown in communication.

I'm pretty sure Linda understood what I said because, you know, I speak so fast that I leave out a lot. Sometimes when I send a text message, brethren, they say, I couldn't understand it. I says, well, let me send you the interpretation.

I'll slow down and type it a little better. But sometimes there's a breakdown in communication. And then the other day, Linda's heard me say this story before.

She looked at the bathroom sink and she says, I guess I married a duck. Well, one of the brethren one time was like a duck, his wife said, and the water was on the floor and the water was on the counter. And so she says, we had to sit down and discuss the matter because I didn't marry a duck but it looks like a duck lives in the house.

Those are silly little things, but the enemy wants to divide. Don't let him divide. Don't let him conquer.

We've got all the provision by the gracious Holy Spirit. We submit to one another. That our prayers be not injured, 1 Peter 3 and 7. There can be business problems.

There can be family problems. There can be sickness. You can develop it any way you want.

But don't take one another for granted. We've been married a few years now. The Lord gave me a good wife.

55 years now. I wonder where the days went. Cherish that woman.

Cherish that husband. Build up that relationship because it'll bear testimony which is making God look great. In the eyes of the world.

Realize the weaknesses you have. Realize your strengths. Don't be too proud to be able to say I'm sorry.

Whether it be with one another. Whether it be in the assembly. Whatever the situation is.

Relationships must be maintained for God to work in a way that would be pleasing to Him. All of the saints are mutually honorable. You remember 1 Corinthians? One's the eye.

One's the hand. One's the foot. I remember I got a piece of steel in my eye.

I thought when the children get married there'd kind of be less to do but I end up fixing things at their house sometimes. And I got a little piece of steel in my eye. So the doctor dug down and I thought well, I'll be able to do a lot of reading.

You know, good eye follows bad eye. I told the doctor that. He says, well, you've got a meeting next week.

You're going to have to speak with your heart. You're not going to be doing any reading. Well, watch your eye.

Watch that relationship. It's going to take wisdom. Can I forgive one another and let it go? I should be able to.

If a brother or a sister is in a serious problem, I'll label it that way. And they're put out of the assembly. Can they be restored? Absolutely.

Should they be restored? Absolutely. I read in 2 Corinthians, I'm assuming it's the same one in 1 Corinthians 5. There would have been a confession. There would have been a forsaking of the sin.

A bit of restoration to the assembly. He says, confirm your love. Bless Satan.

Take advantage of him. You could never receive them. Look at what they did.

No. We look at what we've done. And the Lord Jesus kindly, graciously, tenderly forgave us.

And there could be interpersonal relations between workers. Acts chapter 15. Paul, Silas, John Mark, Barnabas.

And there was a friction that occurred. It ought not. But it was resolved, we find.

How's it resolved? Just sit down and pray? No, you've got to talk. You've got to work it out. You've got to apply what the Word of God says.

So, where the saints dwell together in unity, there the Lord commands the blessing. Tremendous, isn't it? Do we believe in the principles that are found in the Word of God? Can we really apply them to everyday living? There was the Joseph we read. In the pit.

17, I think. Prison. Palace.

God allowed it for good. His brothers must have been trembling inwardly, if not outwardly. I forgive you all.

I'll put you on the pension plan. As long as you live. I'll take care of you.

That's the true forgiveness that I find in the Word of God. We're in a day of fast messaging, fast track, fast communication. Broken hearts, broken marriages, broken relationships.

Progress is made when we're restored to God. Progress is made when we're restored to one another. Great progress is made when we have a proper relationship with one another.

The relationship with the Lord will start the relationship with all other relationships in our lives. So I trust that the few little thoughts will help us, especially as we consider the tremendous challenge of the Gospel, that where the saints dwell together in unity, there the Lord commands the blessing.