This sermon emphasizes the importance of balancing love and discipline in parenting, focusing on the biblical perspective of using the rod to correct children with love. It highlights the significance of not sparing the rod out of love for the child's well-being, the need to start discipline early while there is hope, and the impact of proper correction on shaping children's character and understanding of God's love.

Well, greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus. Did you have a good day? Thank you for the singing again tonight. Thank you for coming with an earnest, fervent heart to the meeting this evening. You know, we all have our part in a meeting. Every one of us, we have a part. Thank you. Thank you. You didn't let your heart get cold today. God bless you for that. It's important. All right, this evening, we're in the last two sessions, the ones last evening, we have been laying the foundation for the sessions this evening and for tomorrow evening, that is the use of the rod. We want to talk about spanking your children this evening. One of the families that I met just before the meeting, they said their son was really excited about the message last night and the dad said, well, what were you excited about, my boy? And the son said, well, the part where brother Denny said not to spank us. And I thought, oh my boy, you're in for it tonight. We are dealing with two balancing principles here. Last evening, the heart issue of love, relationship, an overwhelming blessing upon the children that they have no question about, that their father and their mother loves them. And on the other side, this matter of disciplining the children when they need to be disciplined. It's very important. The title this evening of this first session is the rod is love. The rod is love. When we take these two principles and we balance them together so beautifully, it has a powerful effect upon our children when we bring them together. But they are devastating to our children if they stand alone, either one of them. If love and relationship and no discipline prevails in your home, your children will be silly and uncontrolled and bring you to shame. That's what the Bible says. On the other hand, if you allow discipline to prevail in your home and there's no love, you will raise children who will despise you, obey you out of fear and be like robots. The hidden dynamics of God and his love is this outflowing of blessings upon us. Think about it. That is what God uses to draw us to himself. A people who will willingly serve him out of love instead of fear like a robot. Remember the Garden of Eden? When God made man in his own image, God made man with a free will. But while God gave man a free will, he did that because he wanted man to serve him with a willing heart. He also poured out his love upon man, which drew man to want to serve God with his whole heart. Oh, dear parents, that works the same. That very same dynamic works in every one of our homes. When we bring the two of these together, it works so beautifully. May God help us to understand. God does not want us to have robots in our households. And if you think about it, you really don't want that either, do you? Just children that will perform because they're afraid that you're going to spank them if they don't or that you're going to scold them if they don't. Is that the kind of children you want? Wouldn't you rather have children who love you, who serve you, who do what you want them to do because they love you because you love them and they desire to please you with all their heart? Surely that's the kind of children we would like to have in our homes. My goal for this session on the home is to convince you that using the rod is one of the most loving things that you can do for your children. This holy exercise fits into the category of one of the most loving activities that you can do for your child. I don't know if you believe that but it's true. It's one of the most loving activities that you can do for your child. It fits into the categories like taking a fun trip to McDonald's with the family or taking having a special time of loving affirmation with the children or giving them some sweet discipline when they need it. Those are all in the same category. May God help us to understand that. I would also like to convince you that it is a sin if you won't use the rod in the rearing of your children. Can I be that strong? A sin of omission with serious consequences. Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 8 says, if ye be without chastisement whereof all are partakers or all children are partakers then are ye bastards and not sons. There are serious consequences involved if a parent decides for whatever reactionary reason I'm not going to spank my children. Many years ago we had a family visiting in our home who did not believe in spanking their children. They said quite boldly to us in the beginning of the evening there are other ways to motivate the children to be good and I say amen to that. There are other ways to motivate the children to be good and we'll be looking at many of those in in later sessions. However when we say I'll find another way and I don't need to spank my children I think we are in for trouble. Now I was intrigued by watching this family all evening long. They those children were all over the place. Those children were into this and into that. The moms and dad the mom and dad they tried to convince them to sit down. They said nice words to them would they please sit down. Would you pretty please quit getting into all the things. I mean they tried everything that they knew of in the book to try to convince those children to be good. But guess what the children were in charge all evening long. And I felt for those parents I knew they made that statement in ignorance. I knew they didn't understand some of the inner dynamics of what makes a child a happy obedient free peaceful child. They did not understand those dynamics. All evening long they pleaded with those children all evening long. I prayed for the parents they had no rest to visit whatsoever in our whole evening of sharing. They were constantly up and back and this way and that way. Now since then they changed their minds. You see when they were in our home they had a couple of girls. God gave him a boy a couple of years after that and things changed quite a bit. And all of a sudden the father decided he would take a look at this spanking aspect a bit more closely. And sometimes it's that way with boys more than girls. Not always but sometimes it is that way. Well I get many different responses when I speak on using the rod. It has shocked me at times to see the different responses that I have received. I remember speaking to a group of people about this size sharing with them how I spanked my children and I saw a dozen adults sit there in that meeting and weep as they listened to how I spanked my children. The reason why they were weeping is because they were remembering how they were spanked when they were children and it wasn't very pleasant the way that they were spanked. So I get many different responses. Some people react. Some people get uneasy. Some people get afraid and you can be sure the children always sit up on the edge of their seat when it's time to talk about spanking the children. They're very interested in what the preacher is going to tell their mom and dad on this subject. And I don't blame them. Many people have had bad experiences in their childhood and this makes it difficult. You may be one of those. You may be one of those who had one of those bad experiences and because of that whether you did it willingly or whether it just happened a little at a time you have closed your heart to the whole aspect of spanking a child. Sometime ago I was in a distant state sharing on several different subjects and I think I preached on the home once that weekend that I was there and a mother came up to me and shared with me a testimony that I got a kick out of it. I think you will too so I'll share it with you. She said brother Denny we received your tapes oh about three years ago and we opened them up and we started listening to them and God just began to change our whole view of what it means to raise children. And of course somewhere there in the middle of those tapes is a message on spanking your children. Well the little boy in the house he was about three maybe four years old he wasn't real excited about these tapes that came into the house and he wasn't sure about all these things. He noticed that his mom and dad were getting more enthused every tape they listened to and he wasn't sure about it and the parents decided spanking is the right thing and we're going to do it. And sure enough the day of this little boy's fate came and it was time for him to get a spanking and the mother shared with me that she went through all the things that I told her to do there you know you talk to the child and all that and I'll share it a little bit later on in this meeting this evening. She said she got to the place where the little fellow was over her knee and it's time to give him a spanking and she's just about ready to raise up whatever she was going to use to spank the little fellow and he said wait mom wait. And of course she stopped you know and he looked up at her and said mom I'm not sure about this brother Denny I think he might be a false prophet. I thought you smart little fella boy if he didn't know what he was doing. Let's check him out a little more before I get this spank and make sure he's sound. Now that's natural humor and isn't it beautiful and you know God fills every one of our homes with things like that all the time doesn't he hallelujah. That's what a little child would do. Now she went ahead he didn't get out and he still got his spanking but I'll tell you what that mom and dad they chuckled over that one a few times to see the ingenuity of that little mind. Let's see how can I undo this guy. Praise the Lord. Well you check it out in the Bible what I'm gonna say you check it out for yourself and see if it isn't true. I just want to remind you this evening as we move into this sensitive subject by some let's not react because of a bad experience that we have had in our past. We must be open to the truth of the word of God. I want God to show you that it is not some mean thing to give your child a spanking but rather a tender expression of love and care for your child but for you to be able to understand that and receive it you must open your heart just like in any other truth you must say okay Lord I open my heart you teach me what I need to learn. We use the rod in our house and the children love and honor us. There are times when I often feel they honor us way more than what we deserve. I truly believe one of the reasons why they honor us is because we spank them in a right way in a biblical way in a loving way when they needed it. I believe that it may surprise you but sometimes they even come and say thank you after they get a spanking. You'll see later that's biblical to do that so that's a good goal to have. We never set out to make that happen but it happens pretty often and you will see it is biblical for your child if you're doing it right and they're getting the results that God wants them to get out of it that they will come back and kiss your hand you will see. I remember when Samuel was just a little tight and he would get a spanking he would say these words he would come back to me later and he would say Papa I don't enjoy the spanking it hurts but I sure like the clear feeling that it makes inside of my heart thank you for spanking me smart boy smart boy many have believed the devils lie on this subject we think that spanking is a negative form of discipline it is not a negative form of discipline but one to be but one to be looked up to many people look down on it and say oh well they spank their children they think it's a negative form when it is a powerful positive love building method by which God gives us to train our children Lord open our eyes open our eyes if you feel yourself reacting even now as you sit here pray to God oh Lord help me to see this whole thing right many times when I share on this subject people will come to me afterwards and say I just turned you off as soon as you started don't do that tonight keep your heart open allow God by his spirit through his word to enlighten the eyes of your heart concerning the subject it's very important the devil is working hard to make it illegal in this land of ours to spank our children there are other places where it is already illegal we have a brother here in this meeting from Holland it is against the law to spank your children there the devil does not want us to spank our children you need to remember that as you react to teaching the world says it's cruel it is oppressive and if you spank your children your child will hate you many of God's people are flirting with these notions these days in fact I am shocked at times to hear who is flirting with thoughts like this how sad they are reacting from maybe their own parents failures we cannot do that that is a mistake whenever someone fails and distorts the truths of the word of God we make a mistake if we react to that and let the pendulum swing way over to the other side your children will suffer for it spanking with a flow of love like I spoke about last evening makes bright happy children who love and respect their parents let's talk a little bit about natural love and spiritual love natural love says I couldn't spank my child I wouldn't want to hurt him this is normal this is a normal natural response when you look at the whole subject of spanking I mean it's painful the child cries you don't feel good while you're doing it this is a normal natural response to spanking a child but with Christians we are supposed to be spiritual and Christians not only have natural love that feels compassion at a time like that but a Christian is supposed to have spiritual love which is agape love at the same time this love rises above the natural love and does what is right according to the word of God for the good of the child that's spiritual love if our natural love is stopping us from spanking our children then that natural love must be crucified that that spiritual love which is agape love can rise up and help the child that's true love isn't it spiritual love is love that loves by godly principles not by emotional feelings the holy spirit has inspired powerful words in this book we cannot question that we cannot doubt that what God has revealed in this book called the bible concerning the subject of spanking our children the question is what do you want for your children this is the question the bible says if you will lovingly spank your children here are some of the benefits it will give them wisdom the rod will cleanse away evil from their hearts it will express love to them it will produce a clear conscience it will keep your child from going to hell it will bring calm quiet order to your home and to your child and it will drive foolishness away from the heart of your child these are some of the beautiful benefits that God gives to us as he reveals these scriptures on spanking our children proverbs 13 and 24 says he that spareth his rod hateth his son but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes according to this verse we leave a silent message either way either way we choose we leave a silent message either the message i love you or the message i hate you let's look at this verse a little more in detail four words we'd like to look at first let's give a definition of them the word spareth it means to hold back or use sparingly it means to hold back or use sparingly the word hateth it means to stand and face your enemy that's what the word hate means the word love it here's the picture here it means to stand with outreached arms to receive so here it is hateth you're standing there with your weapon ready to face your enemy love it you're standing there with your arms open wide ready to receive those are the two messages that are given depending on whether you choose to spank your children in a loving way or whether you choose to give in to your natural feelings and say i just can't spank my child and the last word in the verse that we want to look at is the word betimes it means early in life some say it means early and again and again let's look at the word spareth first if we hold back according to this verse we hate and i want you to notice brothers and sisters it's not saying he who doesn't spank his child hates it says he who holds back hates if holding back is hate how much more then is no spanking at all hate because the scripture says holds back in other words you should have spanked the child there but i just couldn't do it you should have spanked the child there but i was just too busy that's holding back the bible says you hate your child if you hold back the rod from the child god who made us knows our weakness therefore he warns us he warns us not to hold back because he knows you know you don't want to do it it's not pleasant it's not joyful nobody likes to see their child hurt so god knowing our hearts knowing that we have this natural love he warns us in the word and says if you spare the rod you are hating your child there are many reasons why we spare the rod some are too busy to do it some don't want to be bothered with it some hold back in ignorance some draw back from the difficult task of it some feel guilty for their own sins and don't do it you must be spiritual to spank your children properly we will see that later so here we have this word spirit which means to hold back and not spank when we should the next word is hated in the hebrew language it is often defined in word pictures we get into the greek it's defined in words literal word understandings and definitions but the hebrew it's often in a word picture and the word picture here is a man standing before his enemy what kind of a look do you think is on the face of a man who's standing before his enemy there is a spirit of hate coming out of him there is a spirit of fighting coming out of him he hasn't lifted up his sword yet he hasn't reached out to try to hurt his enemy he's just standing there before his enemy and the enemy gets the silent message get your sword out this guy's gonna fight that's the picture that god uses there is a silent message that goes forth when we do not spank our children when they need it the spirit of hatred is manifested when we hold back we silently say i don't care i don't care you know when i used to work with the bus children in chicago we saw them a little bit on saturdays and then we spent a lot of time with them on sunday you know some of those little fellas would come to me on sunday with a sincere heart and look up at me and say brother denny would you give me a spanking i need one my dad never gives me a spanking would you give me a spanking i need one you know what that little fella knew that i loved him he knew it and i gave a few a spanking by the way now there was a few homes that i went to and i walked in the door there was no dad around the mom said johnny needs a spanking he's hiding under the bed but you know what he got a loving spanking from mr denny that's what they called me then there is a there is a practical hatred when we neglect correction we tend to get frustrated with our children so it's not just a silent hatred it is a practical hatred when you put it off and you put it off and you put it off what happens the child gets a little more out of order a little bit out you start speaking to him and you start nagging you raise your voice a little bit more finally you say that's enough yeah well you just put a wall up between you and your child so there is a practical side to that also it's not just a silent message that says i really don't care but there is also a practical real message now the next word is the word loveth the spirit of love is manifested when a parent gives proper correction and clearing to the child the hebrew word picture is very clear a person standing with outstretched arms when little hannah and esther were little girls if i would be away on a weekend preaching trip coming home on monday afternoon those two little girls would run to meet me when i came home i would always get down on my knee like this and hold out my hand just like this and they would run into my arms that's the picture of the word loveth in the scripture if there is a spirit of love in that picture isn't there and there's no question about it it's there that and that silent message said to those two little girls come give me a hug and they felt free to run right into it my dear brothers and sisters that is also the message that comes across to your children when you choose to spank them in a loving manner as we described last evening there is a silent message it's very clear in the bible in this verse spanking is an expression of love a beautiful expression of love it says to the child i care about you what security this breeds in the life and the heart of a child and the last word here we have is the word betimes and it seems to me that it means early in life don't wait too long god says and some say it means again and again because betimes is plural not betime but betimes so maybe it means early again and again either way it's good sound interpretation but many people ask me this question brother denny when do you start spanking a child how old should a child be when you spank them this is a good question you spank them when they need it you spank them when they need it but may i quickly say if you do your homework in directing that little child they may not need a spanking as soon as they would if you neglect them and let them go their own way you spank them when they need it when you see that your guiding words are not being heeded but don't make the mistake of neglecting to train the little ones and then spanking them when they don't comply this is not right i have heard of parents spanking a one-year-old child over and over and over again because they won't be quiet in church i don't think that's right i think you're not doing your homework if you spank your child five times on a sunday morning service you're not doing your homework at home the need is not more pain the need is some time and some attention and some direction and some teaching by the way we taught most of our children to sit quietly at home then when they came to church it was no big deal do it at home you know you won't be so embarrassed at home you know how it is the child's screaming and brother denny's preaching you won't be so embarrassed work with the child at home we'll say more about that later i'm getting ahead of myself here let me give you a paraphrase of this verse then he who holds back the use of the rod manifests a spirit of hatred but he who wants to manifest a spirit of love will use the rod early in life again and again in the new covenant god promises to be our father amen one of the most beautiful parts of god promising to be our father is that he overshadows us with his love in fact most of the promises of the new covenant fall underneath the major promise where god says i promise to be a father unto you and ye shall be my sons and daughters say of the lord almighty so that covers so many other promises but in that promise that god gives us that he will be our father we also have to remember that being a father sometimes god must chastise us amen god spanks his children and for that reason and if no other reason we should open our heart to the teaching about spanking our children simply because we're supposed to be like god and god is a father and he spanks us if god loves us so much that he would spank us we are also to love our children so much that we would give them the care that they need hebrews chapter 12 verse 5 through 13 is very clear spanking is an unquestionable expression of god the father's love and the fruit that comes out of it is proof of his love you remember what it says it brings forth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto those that are exercised thereby and i tell you dear parents spanking your children if you do it right it will also bring forth peaceable fruit in the children's lives i'm telling you it will happen just like that if we do not spank our children our children are children without a father according to hebrews chapter 12 if you be without chastisement ye are bastards or children who do not have a father and this is a grave mistake for a father to make and many children grow up mixed up and confused about god because of it i wonder this evening what kind of picture of god are we giving to our children what is their perception of god like as they watch us in this area of spanking how do we spank our children if we spank them in a tender and a loving way they will learn that god loves them enough to correct them and they will respond right when he does because let's face it god warns us there in hebrews chapter 12 you must respond properly to the spankings that i give you we are the ones who teach our children how to respond to the spankings that god is going to by teaching them how to respond to the ones that we give them and by giving them the way god gives them there are many paradoxes in the bible and this whole matter of spanking is one of those paradoxes you know like the way up is down and uh give and it will come back to you again these things they don't make sense in our mind well this is the way it is with spanking you know we would look at that naturally and say how in the world you say my children are gonna love me if i spank them spanking is painful spanking doesn't feel good spanking feels bad in the heart when it's happening how can that make my child love me that's what a paradox is it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense that the way up is down but the way up is down amen and so also this may not make sense but that doesn't matter to us god's ways are not our ways they're very different than our ways proverb 19 and verse 18 says chasten my son while there is hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying now the first thing we want to look at in this verse is this god gives us a clear command chasten thy son that's what god says and i think we ought to obey the bible what do you think david said i will run the way of your commandments god david said thy commandments are my delights that was david's heart and this is one of the commandments brothers and sisters chasten thy sons and thy daughters the next little portion we want to look at here is where it says while there is hope now while there is hope means that there will be a time when there is not hope and that's why god even said it god wouldn't need to say it if that time would never come but that time will come when there will be no hope so god says chasten your child while there is hope god is encouraging us to seize the day while they are pliable chasten your children while the clay is soft use the rod at the time that is needed while the concrete is soft before it sets up and is hard do what you need to do while the tree is young and bends easily bend the tree there'll be a day when the concrete gets hard there'll be a day when the clay gets hard there'll be a day when that little spring will be a big fat tree and you won't be able to do much with it you know we have a couple trees on our property our little piece of land is kind of on a hill and if you plant a tree on the side of a hill it's not a real steep hill but it's enough of a hill if you plant that tree on the side of the hill and you don't train that little fella when it's small guess what in about five years you'll have a tree standing like this and we have a couple of them on our property to prove it but what you're supposed to do when that tree is little you can just take a little piece of string and tie it around that little that little spring and put it in the ground pulling it this way a bit and that tree will be standing nice and tall in five years but if you wait five years and say okay we're gonna straighten this tree out you better get yourself a chain and a bulldozer you can straighten it out you can with a chain and a bulldozer which way would you rather do it with your children with a string and a little stake or a chain and a bulldozer chastened by sun while there is hope the day is coming when there will be no hope and then god goes on to say and let not thy soul spare for his crying hmm spare not for crying god says god put this in here again because he knows our natural tendency you know the child is crying how many times our child begins to cry when it's time to get a spank and then we come up with another way to give the correction huh how many of you ever did that let me see your hands yeah here comes the child crying and oh well maybe we can well i'll give you one more chance and you know we come up with a way to get out of it it's because the crying affects the heart that's why god put it in there so that we wouldn't yield to that well some parents spank softly when they hear their child crying some parents just give a couple of swats when they hear their child crying but god says spare not for their crying don't hold back when you hear them cry and this is very interesting you know whenever i preach on the home i will ask the children in the meeting how many of you have cried extra hard hoping that you could uh get mom not to spank you so hard let me see your hands i wonder how many of you children would be honest enough to say that you cried extra hard hoping that mom wouldn't spank you so much let me see your hands you children you children let me see come on be honest look at all those hands see they got you mom dad they got you they're no dummies they know your heart goes pitter-patter when they hear you cry and some of those children they can cry and make it sound like they're dying you're not dying and we're talking about doing this right we're not talking about being mean and beating a child but look god knew god put that in there because he knows a parent's heart and he also put it in there because he knows a child's heart you little ones he knows your heart he knows what you're going to pull on mom and dad god says let not your heart spare for the crying adam clark says this and we'll close it is better that the child be made to cry when the correction may be helpful than that the parents should cry afterward when the child is grown the habits are formed and it is too late let us pray god our father we thank you that you're a loving god you're a loving father and father we do even tonight we thank you for the times that you have spanked us and lord we know you did it so beautifully that we did thank you when you were done oh god i pray teach us lord how to do it so right that the children will kiss our hand in jesus name amen