The value of a Family

Good morning. It's a nice morning. Can we stand and pray? Actually, I forgot to ask, are there any prayer requests? All right, let's pray. Father, we thank you for this day, time of fellowship, and help us to be edified to serve you. All that we do, think and say. So I pray for these prayer requests. Thank you for everything. Pray for all the brothers and sisters here, and the ones that are not here. Help us all to draw closer to you. In Jesus' name, Amen. Well, I was thinking about talking to the young people, and children in general. It's also for the families. My dad picked a song 756, and it has somewhat of the idea of what I was going to look at. Father, in my life's young morning, may thy word direct my way. Let me heed each gracious warning, lest my feet should go astray. So what I wanted to do this morning is kind of a rundown of a family, but also within that, how young people maybe have a hard time sometimes understanding everything, or submitting. Just a few thoughts on that. I guess the title could be the value of a family. A structure in the order that God has ordained is a beautiful thing, and it reaches beyond the home. It is a strength of society and empires. But when a family structure is disintegrated, there is only one way things will go, as we can see in today's society. It does not help. If a family structure is taken away, if a father is taken away, it usually ends in chaos. There's three most important things that I believe, maybe someone could add to this list, but the three that I came up with, that hold a family together, obviously the love in God, but love, trust, and communication. If any of those three are missing, a family would just kind of fall apart, or it would just be chaotic. As I was looking this up, this is more from an earthly kingdom perspective, maybe, but I thought it was a good point. It's a quote from the Crisis Magazine, and it kind of explains how important families are in society. So I'll read that quote. When the family does its proper work, such habits as self-policing, or policing, I'm not sure, self-governing young citizens, and other more economically directed, are found in abundance. Such persons don't really need much from the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, as it then was called. But when the family fails, and is not training up such young people by the millions, not all the government's legions can put the necessary habits back together again. The upshot is this, a citizenry that cannot govern its personal behavior in its private life, can hardly be expected to be successful in self-government in public life. As James Madison warned generations ago, and the family is the first original and the only true successful teacher of self-government during a child's tender years. To put it plainly, a people that cannot govern its private life is a people in need of expansive police force, a state in which people must act in self-defense and must refuse to trust others until their behavior warrants trust. Such a place is less a free society and more a gated one. I found that interesting, the value in a family structure, and this is just pointing out from more of a society standpoint. The order that I believe that God set forth and has ordained for a family is the father, the mother, and then the children. It's kind of a three-tier setup. When this order is broken, chaos rules. Now it would be worth mentioning, I think the most peaceful families I've seen are where the father and mother work as a team, and with the team leader as the father, because someone ultimately has to make the decision whether that's in the business world, or in a family, or in spiritual I guess as well, which is Jesus. But I think once a husband thinks that he can rule the wife or vice versa, it's not peaceful anymore. There has to be some unity within a husband and wife as a team. Otherwise it's like pulling two different ways on a rope. Now your children take a lot for granted. I'm basically talking to the setting we have right here. Some of you may not have had the training that most of you get here, but this also would include me and probably most of the parents. We do not know what it's like to be raised without a father or without a mother, running on the streets, getting into sin, drugs, fighting with people, having no father and possibly no mother telling us what to do. It is very crucial for young people to have a father and a mother figure in their life, primarily because they need guidance. Young people do not have it within them to make the best decisions, mostly because they lack experience. Some of us adults also need correction. Actually all of us do, I should say. We're still learning too, but especially with young people. They just lack experience. I'm talking from maybe the age, I guess from two, maybe up to, I'm not going to put an end time on that. It would depend on the person. It's really a good thing to have someone that looks into your life and helps you in that way. Do your parents make you get up every morning? Do you have to go to work whether you feel like it or not? Do they not let you sit around and waste your time when there's things to do? Do they make you say you're sorry to your brothers and sisters and so on? These sort of things are often taken for granted. A disciplined lifestyle is worth more than gold. Children that have not been taught it from their youth struggle really hard to get it. Children that have been taught it from their youth find it more easy to keep, but it still has to be maintained. It's not something that will stay there. Just like if you're running and you stop running for a year, more than likely you cannot run as good as when you come back and try again. Now within this, actually Harvey mentioned that several weeks ago, how thankful you should be here, or maybe he just realized, I can't remember how he worded it, when he went on this trip, it was up at Leroy's place, when he saw these children that didn't have discipline, and he was just realizing how thankful he should be for that. Surely my way is better than dad or mom's way. Now this starts really young, even my son's age already has some of these things figured out, and I think it goes, it keeps going up to, again I'm not going to put an end there, probably for quite a while. This is a very common thing for young people to run into. Come on dad, you don't seem very smart. Can't you make better decisions? There's this aspect that a young person has within them that is like, is that the best you can do? If I was doing it, I could do it so much better. This show of arrogance often comes from the lack of experience and wisdom. Also children start realizing that they can think for themselves. I think some of this would play in with that. This is why it's so valuable to listen to your parents, even if you do not understand and do not think any of your, I do not think any of your parents are trying to get you to sin, get you in sin, so to listen to them is very valuable. I also think parents should consider advice from their children. It makes for a healthy relationship between a father and a son, or family, mother and a daughter, dad and daughter, whatever. But at the end of the day, the father is still responsible for these decisions made in his home. The household is the parent's God-given kingdom to run, and not the children's. The ultimate decision, or at the end of the day, the father is the one responsible. There was a saying, I'm probably going to butch it up a little bit, but it gives the idea. Melvin Kaufman mentioned it one time, I can't remember. Maybe it was on the family, his sermon. There's this concept, and I'll read it and then explain it afterwards. When I was young, I thought my dad was the smartest man in the world. As I got older, I saw he made mistakes. When I was 18, I was pretty sure my dad didn't know much at all. By the time I was 22, I was glad to see that my dad learned a few things. Now, that first section, that's very arrogant. I think that's what that's trying to point out, just how arrogant that is for a child to think that way. By the time he's 22, he's like, oh yeah, dad's finally learning some stuff. Actually, all along, the dad was more right than the son. As I turned 30, I started realizing that maybe my dad did know what he was talking about. By the time I was 60, I decided my dad was the smartest man that ever lived. Anyways, there is this thing, and this is what I ask you children to do, is not repeat history. Because this has happened over and over and over all throughout, I'm guessing, generations. Listening is the key. In the animal world, survival of the fittest is the rule. There's a herd of cows and a big dominant bull. I'll use the cow herd. As the younger bulls get older, they start fighting with the big bull. Once they are strong enough, they take over his position and the old bull wanders around defeated. Have you ever seen that? Probably most of you have seen something similar to that. Goats do the same thing. There's one dominant rooster, but we're not supposed to act like animals. There's a difference. Our rules are different. So, I thought I'd make a little analogy using the bull as an example. Maybe someone could brush up the analogy if there's a better way of putting it. The same fighting and dominating spirit that young bulls have is typically found within young men. Possibly young women as well, but in a different way. There's usually slightly differences in how that works out, at least from what I've observed. Now, imagine there are young bulls that are trying to pick a fight with the father bull and rule the herd. But, while they do not know, there's a monstrous bull looking through the clouds, surveying the herd with eyes of fire. Imagine this. So, out in this field, there's like these little bulls trying to pick a fight with their dad bull. But, what they don't realize is through the clouds, there's this huge bull just looking down and watching, has eyes of fire. This giant bull is watching every move these young bulls make. And, if they fight with their father bull, he's going to get angry because he has set this order out. Let me just finish the analogy, I guess. Because he is in defense of the father bull's position and the young bulls will have to face him without excuse. There's also the good side to that, which I could say that if the children are respectful and honor their parents, this big bull that's looking through the clouds is actually pleased. And, this is how it works in reality. God is watching every move, every thought, and it will not go unnoticed. And, even if it takes 80 years and it doesn't seem like things really happened to that person that was disrespectful, whatever else might come in that list, one day we will stand before Him and give account for good and bad. Fathers and mothers, so there's this other aspect. So, the devil has a lot of traps set. And, traps of sin, I guess primarily is what I would, there's a whole slew of things. And, parents protect children from these things. They protect us from making bad decisions that we will regret for our entire life. Now, if you think about that, parents are often there, godly parents especially, protect their children from making decisions that they will regret for a lifetime. That's a long thing to live with. What a blessing that is. I'm very thankful my dad protected us at the time not allowing us to go to youth parties and things like that was not in alliance with what I wanted to do. But, looking back, I'm very thankful for all the boundaries that he had set out. Just looking back, I realize a lot of things that my dad kept us from getting into or didn't allow, sleepovers and things like that, which I guess maybe that wasn't so much for us. I'm not sure. Anyways, certain things I just think it would have turned out different if we'd have been given the reins. Parents protect us from the evil traps of Satan. Sometimes, as children, we jump into these traps anyways. God can help us out, but the scars of the trap, God will leave on a person because we reap what we sow. And, some of these scars are painful to look at, but there is no turning back. That's another point I wanted to make. Once you do something, you cannot take it back. You can make it right, but you cannot take it back. It's done. You can never change something once it's done. So, children, be thankful you have fathers and mothers that keep you out of sin. Remember what Max said last week? Now, some of you, most of you didn't hear it. I'm going to paraphrase a little bit because I don't remember exactly what it was. But, if you have an older brother or a father that gives you advice, cherish those exhortations. They are most vital. If we scorn that advice, the consequence is more than we can pay. Families will be different. There's this thing called the greener grass syndrome, which is ultimately the lack of contentment. That's what it comes down to. You just want something else. I mean, you look over and there's Melvin Kaufman. Also, one thing I do remember, there's this comic called Ada the Irish Eye or something. I don't know if I've ever seen much of it. But, anyways, he said that the cow looks through the fence like, oh, the grass is greener. She sticks her neck through. Then, she looks around the post and sees it's greener on that side. Then, she sticks her head around the post like that. Anyways, his point of bringing it up was just how ridiculous it was and maybe just how stubborn us humans are in that way. Families will be different. No fathers think exactly alike. Neither do the sons think like the fathers. It's like how a son may run his household is more than likely gonna be a little different than the father because people just don't think alike. Now, this is not in the spiritual sense. This is just the way a man runs his family. Do you think the other family has it better than yours? Their father somehow allows for more things. The chances is very high that the child from the other family that you are coveting is thinking the same thing about your family. This would not be uncommon. This is this greener grass syndrome again, where you just want to look across the fence. 1 Timothy 6 through 7 says, Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we have brought nothing into this world and it is certain we can carry nothing out. So, do not expect your parents to think alike. Families will operate different. The sooner you can be content with godliness, the better. In closing, I would like to point out again what a great opportunity you have, you children, compared to what a lot of children have in this world and how thankful you should be. You have a stack of gold. Imagine a huge stack of gold or a bag of gold. It's actually more valuable than gold, but it's right in front of you. Either you can take it or leave it. Anyways, that's all I have. If anybody wants to share any comments or questions or corrections. Also, just another note. After the singing class, I have the object lesson for the girls and the boys. One of the things I would like you to do is each of you to think of two things that you're thankful for about your family. We'll get to that in this afternoon. Also, the object lesson that I will have is going to be implementing three major things. Now, love is not in this list. I guess it could be, but trust, communication, and effective listening. These also play within the family. Anyways, that's all I have. Thank you, Brother Lloyd. Yeah, there was a song, seven, eight years old, over 60 years, I can remember it. The grass is always greener in the other fellow's yard. One of those TV shows like Mr. Rogers or something back in Boston. Big Brother Bob Emery, I used to watch it every morning. The grass is always greener in the other fellow's yard. I'll tell a story from, we heard it from a Church of Christ preacher in Texas, Malcolm Kniffin, K-N-I-F-F-E-N. He's about my age. Anyway, Malcolm was going from Waco to Dallas, Fort Worth, driving up. It was a young black girl. She was about 15. She was walking by the side of the road. I don't know if she could hitchhike there or not. Anyway, Malcolm picked her over. He was by himself, I guess, a young girl. I don't know if she had a sister with her, too, a black girl. He said, do you need a ride? She said, yes, please. He took her from Waco, that's about 60, 70 miles up to Fort Worth. Malcolm was telling a story that she was staring at him in a way. She said, where am I taking you, child? You're taking to my mom's boyfriend. You're taking there. Then before she got off, she looked at him and said, I wish I had a dad like you. People that come from broken homes, that's the world, that's Springfield. I wish I had a dad like you, she said. In the old bar, today you'd say, buddy, what do you do for a living? Dwayne, what do you do for a living? What's your occupation? In the old law, it was, Dwayne, who's your father? Max, who's your father? Atlee, who's your father? The family thing was, who's your father? That's the first question they asked. They didn't say, what do you do for a living? And this verse, I struggle with it. It's in Psalm 11. If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? Could it be talking about the temple? Could it be talking about the family life? If the foundations are destroyed, what, and you brothers can help me understand that verse. I really never understood it. And I didn't look up in all 14 different commentaries, but if the foundations and the basic foundation is a family and Lord, you, if I was a little boy, I wish I had a dad like you. Cause I had a broken home. My dad was a drunk most of his life. I love my dad. He repented, but still so much, so many children in Irish Catholic settings, boy, we wish he had a good dad. How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to the word. May the Lord be magnified. Yeah. I just wanted to say thanks for the lesson. I don't really have any commentary to add other than to say, I just really appreciated that. Those are things that are close to my heart and I, I hope we can all strive to those ends. And I, uh, Oh, just as I'm sitting here thinking about it, I, I wish like as human beings, we were better at, at, uh, learning from others mistakes. Um, unfortunately it seems like the best way to learn anything, whether it's a trade or, or even going through life is when we make our own mistakes. But some of those mistakes can be so painful. And I, I, yeah, my heart is just that, um, through that older wisdom and counsel that, that we could soak up just that we wouldn't have to relive some of those, some of those mistakes. And, uh, at least, at least for our children's sake, for the young people. Yep. God bless you all. Yeah. I just want to say, I appreciate what was shared too. And I found just, just found a quote that I was looking for. I kind of had a hard time looking for it, but, or finding it, but, um, I remember it a few years ago. I came across it. It's Daniel Patrick Moynihan. And I know very little about him, except that he was a US Senator for four terms. Uh, looks like, looks like his life was from 1927 to 2003, but here's a quote. From the wild Irish slums of the 19th century, Eastern seaboard to the riot torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history. A community that allows large numbers of men to grow up in broken families dominated by women, never acquire any stable relationship to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational expectations about the future that community asks for and gets chaos, crime, violence, unrest, disorder, most particularly the furious unrestrained lashing out at the whole social structure that is not only to be expected, it is very near to inevitable, and it is richly deserved. I'd say that's pretty, pretty, uh, good observation from, you know, just, I don't know anything about this man, but somebody in government, a senator, you know, okay, to say that. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I just agree what was said. I was also reminded of, there's a passage in Lamentations that says it is, it is good for a man that he bear his yoke in his youth. Um, goes on to say something like that he, that he learns to sit quietly and listen. Uh, and I just, I just think that's ever so true. We will either, we will either pay the price of discipline or we'll pay the price of regret. And the choice is ours. Thank you. Yeah, I would say amen to that. Brother Lloyd, I appreciate that. Makes me think of the last word, the last verse, like the last thing we read in the Old Testament about, um, I guess maybe we could just kind of assume what it's about, but, but it says, look, I'm sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the Lord's arrival, before the Lord arrives, his preaching will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, the hearts of the children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse. Um, it really impresses me how that's one of the things that the Lord was going to, was going to do aside from uniting nations, you know, uniting all languages, kindred, race, and tongue into one through his kingdom. This was, this was without mistake going to happen between father and son and just how good of a thing that is. And the other thing I wanted to just say as a pretty stark reminder of, of just how life can be in general, would be my own testimony, how I, um, spend a lot of time and years rebelling against my parents and thinking some of the things along the lines of, of what Lloyd was saying, but, but really pretty drastic, you know, how that they, they just don't understand my heart and they, they need to let me go and do my thing. And somehow it just, things started turning a little bit. I don't know. I'd say for sure it was the Lord. And I, um, I remember, I don't remember exactly what all I confessed to my dad, dad, and just, you know, told him how I want to join the church and, and do better and get rid of some of these rebellions. And it wasn't more than two months later, he got killed in a logging accident instantly. And that's one thing I can look back on and be very thankful for just how God had his timing in that. And, um, it goes to show how, how important it is to, to get things straight while we have life and while those around us that we're close with have life and how we just need to remember how close we are to our end in all these things. So praise God. Somebody's work for joy and peace. Surely his life shall never cease. What's that somebody used? What's that somebody used? Father, in my life's long mourning, may I gladly heed His gracious warning, that my feet should go astray. May He, may He, may He, may He, call His priests to obey. Let me heed His gracious warning, that my feet should go astray. Father, gentle, always mighty King, be a gospel spear of mine. Every day Thy grace keeps me King. Where's my loving, Thine have shone. Always on me, always on me, and my heart beholding Thine. Every day Thy grace keeps me King. Where's my loving, Thine have shone. Father, let me never, never think of vanity and pride. Teach me truth, and may I know better, better than all else beside. Blessed by hope, blessed by hope, living, I have heard Thine. Teach me truth, and may I know better, better than all else beside. Stand I a purpose to Thee, watchman. I am the faithful feudal hymn in Your strength. Bear to me a candle, bear to send the Lord. Bear to have a purpose firm, bear to make it known. Many mighty men are lost, daring not to stand. Good Lord God has been a host by joining Daniel's band. Bear to me a candle, bear to send the Lord. Bear to have a purpose firm, bear to make it known. Many giants, great and tall, sobbing through the land, headlong to the earth would fall if met by Daniel's band. Bear to me a candle, bear to send the Lord. Bear to have a purpose firm, bear to make it known. Hold the gospel banner high on victory grand. Satan and his host defy and shout for Daniel's band. Bear to me a candle, bear to send the Lord. Bear to have a purpose firm, bear to make it known.