Biblical Espousal

and finding an answer. So remembering the Lord and his resurrection and that he is alive today. And if he lives, Jesus said, if I live, he shall live also.

So that's an encouraging word for us this morning. I want to remind you, we do have some topics here that we're going to cover over the next number of weeks. And if you'd like to consider a subject, feel free today, you're here to come up and write it.

That six there doesn't mean it can only be six, but if you want to put another five or six down there, feel free. We're going to spend some time the next few weeks to cover these topics and then we'll jump into the book of Acts. And so I encourage you if you'd like and you can write with your left hand if you're right-handed, so no one knows what your handwriting is.

And even sneak in here sometime during the week and write something down, but feel free to do that. Okay. I'd like to share a subject that I've been talking with different people about, and I've shared it here.

It's probably been a few years and we've got some young people here, some adults. And I'd like to just share with you on a subject. I know that you don't oftentimes hear this word, but I think it's good for us to discuss it.

And it's this word espousal or betrothal. And I'd like to go over that subject here this morning. I know that we have a number of youth and I've been down this road already and maybe Lord willing, I'll go down it again, but let's consider that while we have some time here this morning.

Now I want to say this before I begin, and this is in my own personal life and I know it's in your life too, is that we preach a standard and that standard is a high standard. And we oftentimes don't reach that standard. And Paul said it this way, I have not yet attained, but I pressed toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

And I think that all of us would probably acknowledge that we haven't attained perfection. That was what we were talking about today, the perfecting of the saints. That doesn't mean if we aren't perfect, we should lower the standard in our teaching.

We should raise the standard up. And so the standard is high and I don't share this this morning and say, you know, that everybody, if you don't do it this way, it's wrong and it's bad. But this is the standard.

This is the standard that God has set for us in these areas. And I want to emphasize this very much that I don't teach this, nor do I encourage you to follow this example for your sake, for the sake of being happy, for the sake of any selfish reason. But I am teaching this today for his sake.

Everything is to be done for the glory of God. And if you love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity, then I think you should consider for his sake. Now, some people have used terms and I don't like to use these terms.

You probably have heard me use them. I probably share them accidentally, but I don't like terms like dating. I don't like terms like courtship.

And the reason why I don't like them is because I go to my concordance or I read through my entire Bible and I can't find them. And so that produces a dilemma. How do you teach on something that's not there? How do you communicate something that it's not even in the Bible or it's not even mentioned in the Bible? So that's for someone like myself who tries to teach you the truth is a dilemma.

There is no courtship words. If you look in the Bible and you look in your concordance or you look in the Bible, there's no dating. There is no special friend type ideas.

And so when someone says I'm in a courtship, I say, I don't know what that means. It probably means something different to you than it is to this person over here, or I'm engaged or I'm dating. You can go everywhere with that.

But God uses certain words. And he uses those words because he's trying to teach the church something bigger. Remember, marriage is a temporal thing, but the biggest thing is the marriage with his son.

That is the issue here. And that's what God is trying to teach us through. And you know, we go to weddings and we all agree with this.

Christ in the church is what's really being exemplified here in this man and woman. God is trying to show something beautiful that's eternal. Well, why not? With regards to how you come into this relationship? Isn't God trying to show something eternal there too? Yes, he is.

And so if our heart is to, Lord, you use my life and my espousal to show biblical truth. I think it's a good heart. And so I'd like to address this subject here.

The word espouse or espousal is used seven times in the Bible. The word betrothal is used or betrothed 13 times in the Bible. That's 20 total.

And then the word courtship and dating are used zero. So if you want to be biblical, I think you would be wise to use biblical terms. People don't like those terms though.

I found they just don't like them. I don't know why they don't like them because they're all through the Bible. And let me just remind you this, in case you don't like these terms, you already are espoused right now.

You're betrothed. Every one of you who are Christian are espoused to Christ. And you are waiting for the marriage.

And so Paul says to the church at Corinth, I've espoused you to Jesus. And I want to present you a chaste virgin at the marriage. And that's a beautiful picture.

And that picture ought to be represented in all of our courtships and marriages and all of our espousals and marriages. That's what God wants. And I think we understand that.

Espousal is the definition of espousal means to woo and to win, to promise in marriage. It's very similar to probably what we use in the world, the idea of engagement, the manners and customs of the Bible says this, espousal among the Hebrews was something more than what a marriage engagement is with us. It is considered the beginning of marriage, was as legally binding as marriage itself, and could not be broken off, save by a bill of divorce.

Hence, we find that Joseph is called the husband of Mary. You read that account, it's interesting. You know, Joseph's called her husband and Mary is called his wife.

And yet, there was no marriage ceremony at that time. Turn with me to 2 Corinthians. We'll look at this passage here.

We'll launch out this morning on this, 2 Corinthians chapter 11, starting in verse number one. Notice a lot of young people here that are entering into that stage of life. And I want to raise up that standard that the Lord has for the young people and also the parents, because parents here are leading their youth and trying to give direction.

But in 2 Corinthians chapter 11, verse 1, Paul says this, would to God that you could bear with me a little in my folly, and indeed bear with me, for I am jealous over you with godly jealousy, for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. I have espoused you to one husband here. Now, when Paul talks to the church at Corinth, he recognizes that the church, that church, the church that has saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, is in an espousal relationship.

And he brought them together. He's like a father. I preached the gospel, I brought you into this relationship, and now you are espoused to the Lord Jesus Christ, and he says that I might present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

And that's a beautiful thing, you know, in marriage, as a young lady is presented to her husband as a chaste virgin. Maybe we should spend a little time just to elevate virginity. Amen.

Elevate virginity. Virginity is a beautiful thing, not just in in this temporal world, but it's a beautiful picture of a church that is someday going to be presented to Christ a chaste virgin. And so to be able to say I'm a chaste virgin when I'm married to my husband is the way God intended, and that is the purpose.

And so there's a wedding coming, and that wedding is mentioned in Revelation chapter 19 and chapter 20. And so in reality, you and I today are espoused, and so we ought to embrace that word. We are betrothed to Christ.

That is a beautiful word. It's not a bad word. It's a wonderful word.

I don't know if you want to say I'm dating Christ. Some of you like that, or I'm engaged to Christ, or I'm in a courtship with Christ. But if you want to be biblical and use biblical terminology, then you want to to say I am espoused to Christ.

Matthew chapter 1, speaking of Joseph and Mary, it says this, Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise, when as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, that's the word God uses, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost, then Joseph her husband. That's interesting. Can you imagine? Have you had your wedding yet? No, we haven't.

But I am her husband. That's what God says. Again, I'm just the messenger this morning.

You know, when you get a letter from your enemy and the postman delivers it, you don't beat up the postman because you got a letter from your enemy, or you get a big bill. Postman, come over here. I don't like you.

You delivered the message. You delivered the mail, and I'm going to beat you up. I'm just delivering the message.

Well, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost, then Joseph her husband, being a just man and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately, actually to divorce her. But while he thought on these things, the angel of the Lord said, angel now. Angel understands this.

Comes to Joseph. Joseph, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife. Even the angels know.

Mary, thy wife. So they weren't married yet, but they were espoused, and espousal was very serious in those days. By the way, espousal ought to be serious today.

You and I are espoused to Christ. You know, Jesus takes it real serious. He says, I'll never leave you, never say.

I'm in this thing for the long haul. As a matter of fact, I gave my life for it. And it's up to you now to make a choice.

The bride has a choice. You have a choice. He's demonstrated his love to you.

He has shown you. He is like Isaac and Rebekah. Rebekah was given gifts.

He is lavishing you with gifts, and he says, I want you to be my wife. I am fully committed to you. I'm in this for the long haul, eternity.

Now you have a choice. And of course, Rebekah said, I'll go. Well, espousal was considered the starting point of marriage.

And that's why you have Joseph and Mary being called husband and wife. This is before any marriage ceremony. Let me have you look at Deuteronomy 22, the Old Testament here, a few verses.

Deuteronomy 22, and this is interesting to me. In the Old Testament, this idea of betrothal or espousal in Deuteronomy 22, verse number 23, it says this, if a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto a husband and a man find her in the city and lie with her, then you shall bring them both out under the gate of the city and you shall stone them with stones that they die. The damsel because she cried not being in the city and the man because he hath humbled his neighbor's wife.

Look at that. She's only betrothed, but God says he humbled his neighbor's wife. So thou shalt put away evil from among you.

But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field and the man forced her and he lie with her, then the man only that lay with her shalt shall die. But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing. There is in the damsel no sin worthy of death.

Whereas when a man rises against his neighbor and slayeth him, even so is this manner. For he found her in the field and the betrothed damsel cried. In other words, she resisted and there was none to save her.

But now notice verse 28. If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed. Okay, here's the young lady that is not in a betrothed.

She's not a wife. And lay hold on her and lie with her and they be found. Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver and she shall be his wife because he hath humbled her.

He may not put her away all the days of his life. Now sometimes I know this may be hard for us to understand and we might feel kind of this is not just. But we're laying all that aside.

Let me just say this. God says this. If you rape a young lady who's betrothed, you die.

If you rape a young lady that's not betrothed, you pay the father fifty shekels and you marry her. There's a big difference there. And it all depends on whether this woman is betrothed or not betrothed.

So there is in the Old Testament and New Testament and I can read many verses. There's 17 examples of this and many just in practical ways of how God views some of these things throughout the Old and throughout the New Testament. Now when does this espousal begin? It begins with a covenant.

By the way, when did your espousal to Christ begin? Brother David mentioned it this morning. It's a new covenant. It's a new covenant.

It's a covenant that is in my blood. And that covenant is between the Lord Jesus Christ and a willing soul. And you and I have all made covenants, Lord willing, with our husband, with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now you and I can back out of that covenant. Now the Bible talks about it. That virgin is found unfaithful and that virgin's heart's going to the world and departs from the Lord.

Then the Lord can put that young, put that virgin away or put that espoused one away. Just like Joseph is willing to do here or minding to do with Mary. Malachi 2.14, we won't turn there for sake of time.

The Bible talks about you've been unfaithful. It's talking about a man and his wife. You've been unfaithful to the wife of thy covenant.

The wife of thy covenant. Espousal begins at the point of a covenant. A covenant.

Now you look at how God sought fathers. I would study this. I would study how God the Father sought a wife for his son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

If I was a father and I was seeking a wife for my son, I'd say, God, how did you do it? And I would observe how he did and follow his example. Well, let me just give you a little bit about what the Father did. The Father and the Son sought a bride.

The Father and the Son showed their love and commitment to the bride on the cross. The Father and the Son invited the bride. Whosoever will, let him come.

And then the Father and the Son gives the bride the choice to say yes or to say no. And anytime we preach the gospel here or anytime you're out preaching the gospel, you're actually offering a wedding invitation to come to be a part of a marriage, to come to be a bride of the Lord Jesus Christ, to enter into a covenant. It's called the New Covenant in his blood.

And here's the beautiful thing. And I, fathers, and I think it would be good for us to teach our children, you looking for a bride for your son. And there's a lot of practical things we could talk about if we don't have time for this morning to do it, praying together and seeking the will of God and saying, this is the will of God, I believe for you, son, and then going and pursuing that young lady.

You know, the Bible says throughout the scriptures that a man is to seek a wife, not a wife to seek a husband. A man is to be the seeker. Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing.

The Bible doesn't say to the woman, whoever finds a husband. You know, the church was not seeking the Lord. The Bible says there is none that seek after him.

But it's only through the Father and the Son wooing a bride to himself does the bride pursue. If God leaves man alone, man would never pursue, right? And so think of it this way, the Father and the Son are seeking a bride and they're out trying to woo a bride. Well, there's many examples in the Bible.

I think of Rebecca and, you know, that servant that was sent to Rebecca's house and permission was given. Abraham sent the servant, he was seeking a bride for his wife or his son Isaac, sent this servant and this servant came to the household of Rebecca and talked to the parents and the father was okay with it. The mother was fine.

And they turned to Rebecca and said, Rebecca, it's up to you now. What do you want to do? And Rebecca says, after getting many gifts, I'll go. So a covenant.

And I know that there's generalities here and not all laid out in a perfect way, but the covenant. A covenant. The covenant is initiated by the Lord.

He's the one who starts it out. God the Father seeks a bride. And I think if you're a father, you have sons, I think the perfect example is you and your son praying and seeking, counseling together and pursuing a young lady.

Like God the Father and his son did. Pursuing a bride. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord.

Let me give you a look at another example here. First Corinthians chapter 7 verse 25. I can't read all this, but there's some interesting thoughts here in first Corinthians 7. Paul is writing to the church at Corinth about this marriage thing and about a spousal and how to go about this.

In first Corinthians 7 verse 25, he says, Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment of the Lord, yet I give my judgment as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress. I say that's good for a man so to be.

Art thou bound unto a wife? Are you in an espousal with a woman? Seek not to be loose. Now Paul's been teaching and encouraging single to single life and we could spend some time on that. But brothers and sisters, young ladies, young men, it is a high calling in the Bible to be single.

I know in the settings that we're in, I was single for 35 years and sometimes I felt just like a loose bolt. I just had a hard time fitting in because everybody had big families and it was all about family. But Paul here is encouraging and he's doing it by the Holy Spirit.

He says it's a good thing to be single because he goes on later on. We won't read it because you can give your heart and your soul and your body to the Lord fully. So I just want to throw that in for the single folks here.

You're actually a step up. Verse 28 says, But if thou marry, thou hast not sinned. And if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned.

Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh, but I spare you. Notice here it says in verse 27, Art thou bound, and thy wife seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife, seek not a wife.

Again, it's always from the male perspective. It's always from the father and the son seeking a bride. You know, when I was in the public school system, girls sought guys, guys sought girls.

It's not the way it ought to be. Young ladies, it's not the way it ought to be. We ought not to be in the pursuit as a young lady.

And I know that's hard sometimes. So espousal or betrothal, it's initiated by the father. It's initiated by the son.

I didn't have a father that wanted to get involved in that. I asked him about it when I was seeking out a wife. And I told my dad, I'm seeking out a wife.

What do you think? Do you want to get involved? He said, no, you take care of it. He didn't have much interest in that. And so I went to Danny Kenniston and I got him involved as I asked him, I said, can you be a spiritual father to me that you and I can work together to find a wife? He said, I'd love to.

And he did. And so a father and a son seeking out, I think it's a good thing. It's a biblical picture.

Father, son, seeking a bride. The bride is a church. I remember Brother Craig, I've told you this story before.

Brother Craig came to me many years ago. He had just been converted a couple of years. And he said, I'd like you to pray with me about finding a wife.

And his father was not involved in his life. And so I said, sure, I'd help you. And I became a spiritual father and we prayed probably six months, met every Saturday to pray about a wife.

Finally, the Lord revealed to his heart who that individual was. And we went and we pursued that individual. And in his heart, he knew the answer.

He knew the young lady. He had spent a little bit of time with her, but he saw it from God. And he said, this is the young lady God has laid upon my heart.

Let's go pursue her. And so I made a telephone call to her father and I said, Nanny, I said, you've been praying about this and we're pursuing a wife here for Craig. And so here's what we think, it's your daughter.

And he said, oh, well, he said some funny things too. And I said, well, Craig done good for us. And the Lord worked that out.

So I want to encourage fathers here who have daughters that, that are, excuse me, have sons, that I think it's a beautiful thing for a father and son to work together, to pursue a wife for your son. After you've prayed about it, considered it, then you ought to approach this young lady and trusting this young lady will, and her parents will, will receive. Look at 1 Corinthians 7. Here's some amazing verses.

I know these, maybe people think these are outdated and in our, you know, women's liberation time that we're living in, these are interesting verses. Verse 37, nevertheless, he that standeth steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will has so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin doeth well. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well, but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

Boy, that's interesting. Paul says, listen, father, if you give your daughter in marriage, you do well. He that finds a wife finds a good thing.

You do well. But if you keep her, you do bad. Wow, that's interesting passage, isn't it? And, uh, I mean, I didn't say that.

Don't, don't, I'm just a messenger. I'm, I'm trying to teach you the word of God. And so the father, the father has the authority.

It's an amazing thing. Boy, would they throw us, they'd stone us out there in the world. But the father seems to have the authority to say yes or no, to keep his virgin or to give the virgin away.

Now, there's been some questions about this and, and I just want to throw this out here. I've been talking to different people recently, but, but entering into these things are very serious and you ought to know the person. I know Rebecca didn't even know Isaac from Adam, but we have many opportunities to get to know people.

I mean, I didn't live in Tennessee and I lived up here in Ohio and I needed to get to know my wife and, and there are ways and avenues that I could do that. I mean, I trusted the authorities in her life who had known her for many years. And I said to the pastor, her pastor, what's she like? Here's what she's like.

I've observed her life for many years. Talk to their, to the family, talk to the friends. You can go in and actually visit.

I visited down in Tennessee and, and got to know her without her knowing I was interested. And so there's many ways that people can, young people can get to know each other without giving the idea that I'm desiring you for a wife or a husband. And there's many avenues and I would trust the authorities.

I mean, back then, and I, I believe I do that now, but back then when Danny Kenniston or Philip Rudolph, the authorities, her authorities and mine said, brother, this is good right here. You ought to pursue. I mean, that's like 90% of all I need to know.

I mean, I've got men of God who I trust who are saying, this is the direction you should go. This is a good wife. I said, well, that's pretty strong.

I'll take that counsel. And you ought to, young people, you ought to listen to counsel. Amen.

Your parents, your, your spiritual authorities in your life. By the way, God directs young people through the authorities that God has placed in their life. God says that the father is the head of the home.

And so when God wants to direct the home, he directs the home through the father. God directs you through your spiritual authority. And so there's a reason why the husband is the head.

The head is the one that sees the vision and sense. The head has the eyes. The head hears.

A husband is to hear and to see. Now there's a lot of things we could talk about, but here's what I'd like to say, espousal, betrothal, whatever you want to call it. I think you ought to use biblical words because God is trying to show something.

He's trying to show what's happening right now. You can say to someone, I'm in a, I'm in a espousal. What's that mean? Oh, I'll tell you what it means.

When you get saved, you become espoused to Christ. And there's a wedding coming in the future. It's called the marriage supper of the lamb.

And I'm espoused. And if I am unfaithful to the Lord Jesus and did not defile myself and defile my virginity. You talk a lot about Bible doctrine.

Someone says, well, I'm dating. Well, what can you, where can you go with that? You can't, you can't go anywhere. And by the way, you've heard this said dating is simply a practice in divorce.

And I believe that's why there's so much divorce. I'll try this one. If she doesn't please me, I'll dump her and try this one over here.

If she doesn't please me, I'll dump her. I'll try another one. So finally, when you get to the one you really like, you've already practiced putting people away on a regular basis.

So when you get married, if it doesn't work out, which I read in the Bible, such shall have trouble in the flesh. If it doesn't work out, I'll divorce that one and go get another one. It's just a preparation in divorce.

By the way, love is a commitment. Did you know that you can love anybody you want? You know, some people don't aren't very lovely, but Jesus said to love all men. That means I have the ability to choose to love somebody.

They don't have to, you know, make tingles up my spine or make me feel good to love them. Love is a commitment. And I think it's a beautiful thing when two people decide to commit to each other.

Love. And I know those things are sometimes far removed. So two hearts.

Espousal begins with two hearts making commitment to each other and entering into a covenant. And here's something that's important. This makes them one in heart or one in spirit.

Marriage always starts and God always starts on the inside. Marriage always starts on the inside. You know, the world tells you try some outside things, try some physical things, have sexual immorality, see if you like the outside, then you can work to the inside.

It's always the opposite. So marriage is this. Let's try the heart first.

And if you can't come together and make commitments in your heart to love each other for the rest of your life, forget the physical stuff. So the beauty of it is this. Two people come together, they make commitments to each other, a commitment of love.

No physical commitment, nothing. Then at the wedding, they become one and God puts them together and then they can enjoy the physical side of marriage. But it always starts with the heart.

And so young people, it's not wise to go out and have immoral relationships. I'll try this girl out, we'll get physical and see if I like her and then maybe we'll get to the heart later. It doesn't work that way.

It's you, you, you, you yoke up in your heart together in a covenant and then set a date in the future and then you can be one flesh. Now I've said this before and I think this is very important. When you can enter into this covenant together, then hearts can be released to love the other.

Hearts can be released. It's a safe place, especially for a young lady, to release her heart and to love and to pursue a young man when he says, I'm committed for life to you. I love you and I'm committed.

I've prayed about it. My authorities are good with it. I'm committed to you.

Now you have a choice. You can let your heart go to me or you can keep it there. And so the young lady then, just like with Jesus, you know, when Jesus came and said, Jerry, I want you as bride, give me your heart.

I didn't think, well, Lord, if I give you my heart, are you going to smash it? Am I going to wake up tomorrow and you're going to say, see ya, I'm done with this covenant. Now, none of us even questioned that, do we? We know the Lord is going to be in this thing long term, right? So when you give him your heart, you know that he's committed long term. He says, I'll never leave you.

One of the dangers with dating and all the stuff that's going on in the world is a girl puts her heart out. Some guy likes her, girl puts her heart out, and then he cuts. Boom.

And there's pain. And God never intended for it to be that. I experienced that.

Some of you've experienced that. And so that's why I would encourage, and I teach, I teach my children, and I'll teach you this, and I'm not perfect in it, and we're as a family not perfect in it, but I encourage when a relationship is started that a young man know where he's going, that a young man knows his direction and he's committed to it because once he starts to approach the young lady, all of a sudden she can tell you this, but we didn't have a perfect situation either. I was back in 95, I was just learning some of these things, and my heart was back and forth.

I mean, I entered into what was supposed to be a relationship with her, and I just was waffling back and forth, and that really disturbed her. And I remember we were out one day walking along, and our relationship was on the edge of going back, or going forward. And it was all because of me.

My heart was not committed. And God had to do a work in my heart one day in a hotel room to make a decision, you know, and to believe God and to commit yourself to this situation long term. I mean it for good.

And once I did that, then she could respond properly. And so that's the example in the Bible. Jesus is in long term for you, and he's your husband.

He's not going to leave you never for sick. So it's your choice. You want to come? Be a part of the bride? It's safe.

It's safe. And young lady, young men, you be Jesus. You be example of father.

You come to a young lady, let her know I'll not leave you forsaken. This is the will of God. You come my way, you're not going to get hurt.

So God in his spousal, here's I think one of the main reasons why he does it this way. He seeks to protect hearts, especially the young lady's heart. And by the way, parents, I know you know this, but just a reminder, the whole idea of trying to make matchmaking and do this kind of stuff, I don't think it's a wise thing.

You know, hey Bobby, have you seen Susie over there? I think she likes you. And all this kind of talk and stirring people up. Oh, you'd go well with this girl over here.

I don't think that's a wise thing for us to do. Actually, the responsibility ought to be with mom and dad and the young person, not, you know, young people talking about, oh, he's cute. Why don't you like him and you can like her? That's what we did in public school.

Well, during this spousal time, which in the Bible lasted around one year, this is wonderful here. This is a good example. The wife made herself ready.

Isn't that what we're doing? We're making ourselves ready. Revelation 19 seven says, let us be glad and rejoice and give honor to him for the marriage of the lamb has come and his wife has made herself ready. And so two people come together and they commit to each other.

Now the wife begins to make herself in her home, set a home, make herself ready. What did Jesus do? He says, I'm going to go back. We'll build us a mansion, a dwelling place.

That's the bride. That's the husband. And I want to come bring you to my house and we're going to get married.

And so to me, this is my little line here. To me, if we want to show people truth and biblical doctrine, we ought to do that. We ought to do that.

This is how Jesus taught us to live. So the young man goes to prepare a house, buy a house, get a place, get things ready. The young lady prepares herself for things that she needs in her life, got dishes together, all the things that she needs to be a wife and prepared for the marriage.

By the way, you and I are preparing right now for the marriage. We're the bride and are we making ourselves ready? The husband, he goes to prepare the house. John 14, in my father's house are many mansions.

I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again. I'll come again for you.

It's going to be a wonderful day when we marry to the Lord. So marriage is consummated with a physical union. It brings it to completion.

Matthew 9, 5 says, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh. One flesh only occurs after we are covenanted together in our hearts and our spirits for life. The tragedy of our day is that people try things out physically before committing to be one in heart and covenanted together in heart.

You're in first Corinthians. Let me look at one more verse here. First Corinthians chapter six, verse 15.

Know you not that your bodies are the members of Christ? You are espoused to Christ. Think about this for a minute. Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them the members of a harlot? God forbid.

What? Know you not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? For to say that he shall be one flesh. Can you imagine here you are joined in a covenant in your heart to your husband in the spirit. You're joined in spirit and yet your body is over here with a harlot.

That's what's happening. I am married to Jesus and I'm living with a woman in an immoral relationship. Verse 17, but he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

Flee fornication. Every sin, every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sins against his own body. What? Know you not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you? That's a down payment of salvation which you have of God and you're not your own.

You're bought with a price. So don't as a bride of Christ committed in spirit and heart to him, then take your body and be a fornicator. So, and I have some small understanding and small experience, but I think that a father and a son ought to pray, seek the Lord, and seek a wife.

It's his responsibility, the father's responsibility to do that. And when they have found this person, it may take time, a long time, I don't know. Get to know them, get to know their authorities, find out who they are.

Then they pursue. When they pursue their commitment, the lady has an opportunity to decide, do I want to go this direction or do I not? I think the lady ought to be very well in tune with her authorities. What does my father say? What does my mother say? What does my elder say? Can I get counsel? The lady says, yes, these two make a covenant.

All right. All right. That begins what the Bible calls an espouse or a betrothal.

That is a very serious thing. And you know, Joseph had to either divorce her, put her away. It was, it was very serious.

And God considers it a very serious thing because what's happening is two people are saying, I will love you and I am committed to you. And then one backs out. That's, that's a betrayal.

It's very serious. And so did I do it? Did I do it right? Perfect? No, I didn't. A lot of it is ignorance.

A lot of it was my own flesh. Are you going to do it right? I hope better than I. Are we going to do it perfect? Probably not. But I want, one of the things I want to convey here, this is not just some way of doing things.

God has set an example. And all of you would agree with me that that marriage is a picture of something much bigger. And we use that picture to teach on marriage.

But what about the process to get to that wedding day? Isn't God want to teach some things out of that process too? Yes, because He wants to show the church is espoused to Christ in the very same way the church is going to be married to. Well, I just get, I just have six things real quick. I'll close.

Conclusion. I know we could talk about a lot of things. We don't have time this morning, but just, this is a summary.

Father, mother, son. And I know if you don't have maybe a father, you don't have, like I did, my father and mother were just like, we do whatever you want. Well, dad, don't you want, no, I don't want to be involved.

You know what you're doing. Okay. Sometimes there are situations like that.

You need to find maybe a spiritual father. Father, mother, son, seeking a wife, seek out a wife in prayer. Then go to this young lady.

This young lady has the right to accept or reject. It may take her time to decide. Or Rebecca, she seemed like she had to decide right away.

Like, give me a couple of months. A covenant is made between the two and hearts can be released. That spirit and heart can be released.

Now I can love this person. I can think about them. I can do things for them and their hearts can come together.

And during this espousal time, which may be six months, maybe a year, the bride prepares herself. The groom prepares the house, the dwelling place. And then at the wedding, the marriage is consecrated and completed, the physical union of the flesh.

And at that point, hey, here's a good, here's a good doctrine. And this is what God wants to teach and all this stuff about, oh, this theology. But look at it this way.

When Jesus marries us in heaven, will there be any divorce at that point? No divorce. And so when you marry, you have a ceremony, it's done. No divorce.

Nothing. That's a picture of Christ in the church. How about this though? Here's some good theology.

You're espoused. Let's say you're espoused to a young lady and she's out fornicating. She's out defiling her body.

Personally, Jesus, when he said the only exception for divorce in Matthew and Mark was fornication. This young lady is defiling herself before the wedding. Just like Joseph said, I was mindful to put her away.

He could have legally put her away. And so the church, we need to not defile ourselves. Amen.

We need not go out and have immorality with the world. And our hearts depart from the Lord. So at the wedding, the marriage is complete.

And then my last point, you know what that one is? They live happily ever after. Well, we know that's not a reality because Paul said, such shall have trouble in the flesh. Someone once said this, I've never seen an unhappy marriage.

It's the living together afterwards. And isn't that the truth? Well, I'm going to finish there, give you some things to think about. But again, my burden here today in sharing this is God wants to show something.

And we all know that at that wedding ceremony, every preacher stands up and says, this man is Christ. This woman is the church. And there's some beautiful spiritual things here.

But then they forget that how they got here to this place. This espousal thing teaches some wonderful spiritual things also. Amen.

I didn't get an amen there. So I probably give you more questions and answers, but think about those things. And we'll close with a word of prayer.