NCCR Seminar 2

Living Seed Media brings to you God's Word, which is his comprehensive equipment for changing lives. May the Lord impact your heart as you encounter his Word. For further enquiry or counsel, contact Peace House, PO Box 971, Boko, Benue State, Nigeria.

Telephone numbers 0703 03636 59, 0703 76811 98. Email address lsmedia at livingseed.org or visit our website at www.livingseed.org. Let us sit back and listen as the servant of God brings forth the Word of Life. Our Father, we give you thanks this afternoon again that you have brought us to your feet.

Thank you, Father, for releasing your help to us from one point to the other. Thank you for your Word that has been coming to us and for the great work it is doing already in each of our hearts. Receive all our thanks in the name of Jesus Christ.

Our Father, we thank you for this afternoon. As we go into this seminar, it is still at the power of your Word that your will will be done in our lives. So we ask, send us your Word in the name of Jesus Christ.

Cause us to hear you clearly in the name of Jesus Christ. Let understanding come into our hearts in Jesus' name. We pray that at the end of it all, your name, your great name will be glorified in each of our lives and our relationships as husbands and wives in the name of Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Father, for hearing us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

The topic of our seminar is a wife being a helpmate for your husband. Being a helpmate for your husband. And our scripture is still going to come from Genesis chapter 2 verse 18.

Genesis chapter 2 verse 18. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate for him.

And we are looking at being a helpmate for your husband. It is very clear from this scripture again to discover that it was the Lord God himself that made marriage. It was God that created marriage.

It was not a man-made institution. It was God himself who saw that there is a need in the life of the man and he wanted to make a helpmate for him. It was the Lord that said it.

And when he said it, he went to work. He created the woman and brought her to the man. And marriage came into being.

Let me say very clearly also that without a woman, there is no marriage. Am I right? It was because God created the woman that marriage came into being. That marriage existed at all.

And in addition, without a man and a woman coming together to become one flesh, there is no marriage. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Irrespective of the errors of our time, the marriage that God created is not between a man and a man.

It's not between a woman and a woman. You can call that another name. But marriage is the union between a man and a woman as they come together to become one flesh.

That's the first point that we need to understand before we go into the issue of being a helpmate for your husband. It was God himself that decided that it should be so. The second thing that I'm seeing in that scripture is that when the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone.

I will make him and help meet for him. You will see that that sentence, that statement came ever before God actually created the woman. Am I right? God had not yet created the woman when he said it is not good that the man should be alone.

I will make him and help meet for him. It was ever before the woman was made that God decided the purpose for that woman. What that woman was being created to fulfill.

Ever before she was created, God spoke the purpose for her existence into being. Are you following me? God does all his works with his purpose in view. There is nothing that God created that has no purpose.

He created all things with a purpose in view. And so ever before he made the woman, he decided that this woman that he was going to create will become what? And help meet for the man. That was the purpose in the mind of God for the existence of the woman right from creation.

The woman has a purpose. There is a purpose for her creation. And the primary purpose we are seeing in this scripture is that she will be a help meet for her husband.

It's important that when an instrument is made, that instrument must be used for the purpose for which it was made. If it was used for another purpose, different from the purpose for its creation, what do you think will happen to that instrument? It will be destroyed, isn't it? That instrument will spoil and the person using it may also suffer some damage. Every instrument has a purpose for its making.

And the purpose is normally determined by the manufacturer ever before it was made. So also, God created this woman for a purpose. And what is that purpose? To be a help meet for her husband.

So it's important then that the woman serves this purpose that has been in the mind of God. As women, the whole of our lifetime, the primary purpose of God for giving us life primarily is to be a help meet for our husbands. Even though we may be useful for some other good purposes, but the primary purpose of God, the primary call of God on our lives as women, for which we must spend our lifetime, is to be a help meet for our husband.

So a woman is created primarily to be a help meet, a help suitable for her husband. Now if you look again at that same verse, you will see that the name that God called the woman before she was created was a help, isn't it? Helper was her name. It was the man that called her woman.

God called her what? Helper. The two names are very important because they mean something concerning the life and the destiny of that woman. The name helper connotes the work that she will do, whereas the name woman tells us where she is coming from.

She was taken out of man. So the two names are very important for this woman to fulfill the divine agenda in her lifetime. One was to tell her the work she must do.

The other one was to tell her where she is coming from, where she was taken from. So now that God called her helper, we are going to examine what that means. The fact that, you know, as we marry, many of us have different names that we call ourselves.

Maybe your husband calls you honey, or he calls you sweetie, or he calls you my dear. You know there are many names, am I right? But as a woman, please remember that the name God calls you is what? Helper. And you must bear that name functionally.

A name normally tells the direction of the life of the bearer. It carves out the path that the bearer will take in life. When Abraham was called Abraham, the Bible says because he is the father of many nations, isn't it? That shows the purpose for his life.

He will be the father of many nations. That name tells us what he will become. Another person's name was called Nabba.

What's the meaning of Nabba? A fool. And he grew up to be what? A fool. I don't know why his parents gave him that name.

But that name, he bore it till he died. A name carves out a path for the bearer. Another person was called Jesus.

What's the meaning? Savior. He shall deliver, he shall save his people from their sins. And Jesus bore that name till he died.

How I pray that functionally, as women, we will also bear our name Helper until we die. That name is very crucial concerning our destiny. It shows that the primary ministry of a woman is that of a helper.

The primary purpose why God created us on earth is that of a helper. All other things we do are secondary. But this one is one reason, one reason for us to live, and one crucial purpose for which we will give account to God when we get to heaven.

Do you know we will give account of that name? God is going to say, I called you Helper, come and render the account of your name. It's important for us to bear that name functionally, actively. When this understanding came into my own heart, when I got married, it did something in my life that I will never forget.

It made me to watch what happens to me and see to it that it makes me to bear my name. Anything that would not allow me to help my husband, that thing must go, no matter how costly it is. I remember that when we got married and I came to meet him here in Benue State, and I was to get a job in one of the hospitals.

At that time, doctors were very scarce in Benue. A whole general hospital may have no medical doctor or one medical doctor. So it was automatic for people to have a job as medical doctors.

And Benue State then stretches as far as Igala land. So when I applied for a job, despite the fact that my husband was working in College of Education, Kasina Ala in Benue State, as a lecturer. And I applied for a job in the state.

You know where they said they would post me? They said they are posting me to Dekina. And by that time, to get to Dekina from Kasina Ala, you may spend a whole day. The roads were bad.

So I should go to Dekina. My husband is in Kasina Ala. The government of this world has no respect for marriage.

If you don't take your stand, they will help you to divorce. So when they said Dekina, I told them to hell with their job. I can't go away from my husband.

He is the one God told me to go and help. I was not told that it is a job I should come and do in Benue after all. A job is secondary.

My husband is primary. So I left. I didn't even look back.

And I went to my husband's house. I was ready to be drinking Gary. But be with him.

And help him. Rather than let a distance separate us and hinder the help that I should have been rendering to my husband. So I didn't get that job.

But God, who is so wonderful, after two or three weeks, a job came knocking at my door. I didn't apply. They just told me that there is a job waiting for you in the NKST hospital.

I should just go. They will interview me and I will get a job. And truly, everything was done within a few days.

And I got a job with a higher pay. You are a help to your husband. Let not a job hinder you from doing that primary job, that primary assignment that the Lord has called you and has actually created you to do here on earth.

It's not that women cannot be leaders in the community. No, women can be leaders in the community. You can be a leader in your profession.

You can be a leader in the country. Because Genesis chapter 1 verse 28 tells us that God blessed them, the male and the female, and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth. Have dominion.

So you can be a leader in the community. But in the home, you are not the leader. You are what? The helper.

It's important to put that demarcation so that you will be able to accomplish God's purpose in your home. Whereas you can be a leader outside in your home. You are a helper.

Your husband is the leader. It's very devastating, it's surprising today to see that many women struggle over the issue of being a helper to their husbands. You know, there's a lot of struggle nowadays.

It started long ago that they don't want to be called a helper. They see it as derogatory or oppressive to be told to help a man when they can do what a man can do. Is that not so? They say, what a man can do, a woman can even do.

How much? Better! There is no scripture like that. I hope you know. It's not in the Bible, no.

But because of that, women even at home will not want to hear that they should be helpers. They claim equality at all points. Not know what God is talking about is a different matter entirely.

In the home, his own divine organogram is that the man is the leader and the woman is the helper. May God help us to follow God's own way so that we can get God's own result in our homes in the name of Jesus Christ. We must not be found striving with our maker over his making us helpers.

You also know that it's not strange to be a helper. Because even outside the home, in an organization, there is, for example, there could be the manager and then maybe the deputy manager. Is that so? And then a secretary.

And they never quarrel. The secretary will not quarrel and say, because I am the secretary, I can't serve this man who is the manager. He stays as a secretary or if she is a she, she does her job as a secretary.

And as a secretary, she can be promoted to the highest level. She can be the best secretary there has ever been. But it's unfortunate that the woman will be struggling to be the leader and she is not contented to be the helper.

Do you know you can be the best helper ever that the world has ever had? You can be the best helper of your husband. But don't struggle with God to be the leader in the home. Outside is a different matter.

But in the home, you are the helper. The woman, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians chapter 3, we read it yesterday. I would like us to read it again.

The divine organogram. 1 Corinthians chapter 11 verse 3. It said, but I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ. The head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God.

That is the divine arrangement. God is at the apex. Christ follows.

Man follows. And then the woman. The man is the head of the woman.

That is the divine arrangement. It's a, you know, it's a team that God made. And in that team to do God's work, the man is the leader.

The woman is the helper. It's important for us to do a good job of helping our husbands. You are the helper.

That's what the Bible says. So it's not a strange thing. When God says the woman is the helper, it even happens in the world that somebody will be the leader.

Somebody will be the assistant. We should not find this strange. If there is any, any tradition or anything, any arrangement that makes you to always contend in your heart against being the helper and your husband being the leader.

Let that thing perish in your heart today in the name of Jesus Christ. Don't allow that spirit of disobedience that works in the children of disobedience catch up with you. God's own arrangement says the man is the leader.

The woman is the helper. He said, I will make a help meet for him. And then in another place in Proverbs 18 22, he says, a man who finds a wife finds what a good thing and has obtained favor from the Lord.

Another meaning of favor is an unmerited help from the Lord. Help unmerited. So the woman is a help for the man, a help that draws God's favor to his life.

That is what God wants us to be in the lives of our husbands. That each time God sees you and your husband, he just feels like favoring you. He just feels like pouring his favor on your husband because he has married a woman.

The woman is God's unmerited help, God's unmerited favor to a man. And every man who walks in the light of this word of God, you will get God's favor because of your wife. So for me, I'm happy to be a woman that sending me into the life of my husband, favor will come to him.

And I pray that none of us will ever drive away God's favor from our husbands in the name of Jesus Christ. None of our characters, none of our behaviors will chase away God's presence, chase away God's favor, God's kindness from our husbands. God will help us in Jesus name.

So now, what does it mean to be a helper? A helper simply means an assistant. To help somebody means to assist him. It means to be useful to him.

It means to make it easier for him to do a work. So a helper is an assistant, he assists. To be a helper to our husbands means to assist him, not to resist him.

You know some, instead of assisting their husbands, what are they doing please? They resist him. But a helper assists, does not resist. A helper takes part of the body from the man so that the work can be done more easily.

If a man is so fully loaded with an assignment, even walking on a road will be more difficult because his steps will be slower. But if somebody comes to take part of the load, do you know his steps will be faster? Being posted to our husbands lives is to make the work faster. To make it easier.

To make it easier for him to do whatever assignment God has committed to his hands. So a helper assists. A helper is a useful person in the life of another person.

A helper is one who bears part of the burden. A helper is the one who alleviates part of his burdens so that it can be easier for him to bear it. A helper is not a decoration.

There are many women today who are decoration in the parlor. Every day they, you know, they take their bath, they put all kinds of things and dress well and then sit down in the parlor and cross their legs. And then they order this one, go and clean my car.

Order that one, go and do that. Order the other person, go to the shop and get me something. And she may almost order her husband to do something for her as well while she is sitting down decorating the parlor.

A helper is not for decoration. A helper is for an assignment. You don't talk about helping somebody if there is no work to be done.

Am I right? As a helper, be ready to work. A helper is not for decoration. A helper is a burden bearer.

A helper is a contributor of help, contributor to a life. A helper does not consume the one she is helping. She is not a consumer, but she is what? A contributor to the life of that man.

We are not sent to our husbands to consume them. Tell your husband, I'm not sent to you to consume you. I will not consume you.

I will contribute help to your life. You are not a consumer that you say, if he doesn't supply this, I'm not going to give him any face. He must satisfy your demands, all your many demands.

There was a lady who was to marry a brother. This brother was just starting his life, a job. He didn't have much in the house he rented.

He had a mattress, he had a stove, he had a table in the parlor, and not much. And then this girl was the one he wanted to marry. And when the girl visited him one day, said, ah, you don't have anything.

I can't marry you. If you will marry me, you must have the kitchen well, well equipped. The bedroom, well equipped.

The sitting room, ah, television. There must be a freezer in the kitchen, a gas cooker, and she said it and she meant it. Do you know she didn't marry this brother because of that? You are not a consumer.

You are to contribute to the life of this man. May God help us in the name of Jesus Christ. There is a work to be done.

There is something, there is an assignment that God gave this man. And may I tell our brothers as well, that if you have no work to do in the kingdom of God, you are not fit for the marriage that you have entered. Your marriage will be a trouble because the devil finds work for an idle hand.

I'm not saying you don't have a civil service job or a business that you are doing. But what kingdom service is that work doing? Are you using that job to serve God, to make disciples? Because that's the only assignment he gave us. Any man who will have his wife be a fulfillment in his life, to help him, you must have a work doing for which you need help.

There is a work that God does for every one of his men. In Genesis chapter 2, the work is stated there. In chapter 1, he said the man and the woman, they will rule the earth, they will fill the earth, they will govern it, they will be in charge of it.

They should not allow anything to go wrong. That's a great job. And then he was put in the garden to keep it and to tend it.

And then this man was to name all animals. He was there. There was an assignment for which he needed help.

When there is no work, there is no need for help. I know that was the reason why God called her a helper. There was a work to be done for which the man needed help.

And to be a correct helper is important to find out what is the work that God has given my husband to do. Sisters, are you hearing me? Just marrying and you have not made a discovery of the purpose of God for your husband for which you were posted to his life to help him will make you redundant. And when God sees you every day, he will say, see and I do woman.

Find out what is the work, what is the focus, what is the plan of God for your home, what is the focus of God, what is the assignment that God has given to your husband. Find it out. Find out that vision that God has for you and your husband.

Whether in the locality, in the nation, anywhere at all, what is the focus. And discuss even with your husband. We are talking about being a help, meet for your husband.

There is nothing wrong facing your husband one day and say, tell me, what is the call of God on your life if you don't know it yet? What is the call of God on your life? And don't stop there. Cry to God. Let God reveal it to you.

Actually, it is better if it is God that revealed it to you. When God began to show me what he had for my husband, I knew that I was going into something. I knew, and of course, since I myself had dedicated my life to serve God and his purpose, it was not a big issue for me.

You must know the vision of God for your husband, for which God posted you into his life. If you are going to really be a help, meet for his life. There is a work to be done.

There is an assignment that both of you are to fulfill in life. May God reveal it to you if you have not yet got it in the name of Jesus Christ. And to be a helper also implies that you will have enough strength to be able to bear part of the burden that the man is carrying.

You must be strong enough to help the man carry part of the load that he is bearing and do part of the work that he has been called to do. You must be strong enough. A helper must not be a baby Christian.

There are some men that marry babies. How will a baby help you? But you are already married, so let me not go there. But it's important as ladies, don't be a baby.

Don't be a baby Christian. You know what the Bible says is, therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, isn't it? And this wife, they called her woman, not a girl. Be a woman, matured, strong to be able to do part of the work that God gave your husband.

And be a part of the burden. Be a woman, not a girl, not a child, not a baby. If you are a baby to your husband, you know that it will be difficult for him.

In fact, he will carry the load and he will have to carry you also. You know babies, you are carrying something and you have a baby going by your side. And you ask the baby to carry some part of the load.

What will the baby say? Carry me. Carry me now. Say, no, no, no, no, no, but I married you so that you can help me.

Say, no, no, no, carry me. May you not be husband, carry me. In the name of Jesus.

A helper is meant to help carry part of the burden. So you must not be a baby. You will call on God to help you to grow fast.

Spiritually, grow your spiritual muscles. Exercise yourself in spirituality. Grow, let your senses, your spiritual senses be exercised in such a way that you will be able to help this man that God has posted you to his life.

You must grow. One thing you are going to pray about is that God will hasten your growth as a woman. You will be mature spiritually to be able to bear part of the burden.

You will not be husband, carry me, wife. You will, you will ask God to help you to develop your spiritual muscles that you can handle spiritual things. Even without needing to cry out to your husband all the time, you'll be able to bear part of the burden that he carries.

And as a woman who will be a helper, you must be able to exercise the grace of God in the area of the calling with which God has called both of you. And there is always a deposit of grace in our lives as women. The Bible says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and has obtained grace, favor from the Lord.

Use that grace. Use that grace to be able to help this man. And as you fulfill your role as a helper, as you help him, as you take part of the burden, part of the work and you get involved in it.

Do you know you are fulfilling your ministry? And he is fulfilling his own. And both of you will be fulfilled in life because that's the call. He didn't call you to be the leader in the home.

He called you to be the helper. And once God helps you to help him, you are going to be fulfilled and you will fulfill your ministry. So there is no need to struggle to be the leader.

Be the helper that God wants you to be. Be the helper that the Lord called you to be. Fulfillment comes in doing the will of God.

It is only as you do that, that your life will be fulfilled. Don't be someone who will keep crying on his neck every day to take care of you. If you don't, if you know you won't take care of me, why did you marry me? Don't be a husband.

Even though husbands should take care of their wives, the Bible says so. That he who does not take care of his family has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. Leave the man to face God on that one.

You, help him. That's your own instruction. Help him.

Help him. Once you fulfill your role, God will face him with his own role. Help him.

And again, we read a scripture in the morning that stated the areas of help. And I don't want you to forget that. That has helped me now.

I will jump over it. But just to summarize Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verses 9 to 12. The Bible says that two are better than one for they have a good reward for their labor.

Even that one already states that there is a labor. Isn't it? Marriage is for a labor in the kingdom of God. If you are not yet involved in it, find it out and get involved.

Two are better than one. And you must make sure as a woman, you know I see it as a responsibility on us to be the helpers of our husbands. Because if this man fails in his labor, you have helped him to fail.

Do you know that's the work of a helper? Our assessment is not our own assessment. Our assessment is from the assessment of our husbands. If this man did not do the work that God gave him to do, that's what you have helped him to do.

And everybody will receive his own reward. If your husband is unable in his lifetime to do his assignment, it is the helper that God will first question. Why did you not help him? But if he does it, and he does it well, because you have helped him, both of you will have a good reward for your labor.

So a helper must know that there is a labor. And we must help our husbands to do it and to finish it. My own heart cries for my husband.

Each time I sleep and I wake up and I see him, there is a cry in my heart. I will look at the fact that I want this man to reach the highest height that God wants to carry him. How can I help him today? I will cry to God again.

Because that's the only reason I'm existing. I want him to reach the highest of his call. I want him to fulfill the highest of his dreams.

What God has given him to do. I'm not satisfied even where he is now. I want him to go yonder.

I want him to go further. For me, it's a pursuit. It's a subject to pursue with God.

And I, because I know also that when the work is done and both of us face the assignment and we do it well, there is a good reward for our labor. So, as a wife, we are to help our husbands to reach the highest height of their calling. May you not fail in that assignment.

The Ecclesiastes that we read, I think it was in the morning, also talks about two, keeping warm. Ecclesiastes chapter 4, verse 10 says, For if they fall, one will lift up his companion, but who to him who is alone when he falls? For he has no one to help him up. Who is he who is alone? And the Bible says it's not good for a man to be what? Alone.

So part of our assignment as helpers of our husband is to help them so that they will not fall. Whatever you can do to make sure that this man does not fall. And I'm not talking about even falling into sin alone.

You will help him that he will not fall into sin. But he must not fall short of the call of God for his life. He must not fall short of the purpose of God.

And he must not fall. It is one reason God posted you to your husband's life to make sure he does not fall. Because now he is not alone.

God has given him an antidote so that all that will make him fall will end. And verse 11 says, If two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? Part of the help that we must render is to make sure there is warmth of relationship at home.

There is warmth of fellowship at home. There is warmth of relationship even on the conjugal bed. Let there be warmth.

Let this man not be cold. It looks to me as if men have a tendency to be cold. Especially on the conjugal bed.

They feel cold. You know that kind of cold. It's our responsibility as women to make sure that our husbands are not cold.

Two, when they lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? God himself is asking, How will this man be warm when you don't keep him warm? Don't be found doing your own thing when he's feeling cold of relationship. Cold of fellowship.

While he's busy, you have gone pursuing your own career. And then maybe you are living in Medjugorje and your husband is living in Lafayette. How will he not feel cold? And when he starts feeling cold, if another strange girl enters, it will be your fault.

It is for warmth. We are to help this man to keep warm. And then verse 12 talks about spiritual warfare that normally confronts every home.

There is no home exempted from this. Every home, the devil comes ready as he did in the Garden of Eden. Satan, the serpent of old, will normally come.

He's part of what to prepare for in marriage. He says, though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

You, your husband, and God in your midst, a threefold cord. So, take your stand in spiritual warfare. There are many, many battles that are confronting the family.

And most of the time, you see women pushing it to their husbands. He is the one doing all the praying. He is the one doing all the binding and loosing.

You are just there. Part of our helping our husbands is for spiritual welfare. A woman who does not know how to pray, the devil will ravage her home.

Be the helper and the keeper at home that God wants you to be. Keep the home front. Let no devil go astray to come into your home.

It's part of the help that God wants us to render. And this is very crucial. Don't, don't let this man be alone.

Be like Ruth who said, ha ha, don't, don't, don't persuade me to leave you. Where you go, I will go. Some men are lone rangers.

If you don't help them to get rid of their aloneness, the purpose of God will not be fulfilled. You know there are many men who are married, but they are still alone. It will be bad if you also, you cultivate the habit of aloneness.

As married couple, get rid of that aloneness. So that together, you will be able to face the task that God has for you. Don't think alone, don't plan alone.

Help your husband to get rid of his aloneness. Fellowship with him. Go with him.

Go with him. Don't go your own way. Go with him.

Fellowship with him. Agree with him. Even though there are some men that are difficult to, to help.

Again, the only way to tackle that is to go and pray. Thank God this morning we were told that unless God builds a house, the labor in vain that build it. To overcome the aloneness that some husbands may want to exhibit, go and pray.

Sometimes it's not their fault. Sometimes they don't know that they need your help. Your husband may not know he needs your help in a particular aspect of life.

So he closes up and he's struggling alone. He will not allow you to enter. You know, when, when the Lord was making the woman, he took out the rib, isn't it? You are not answering me.

Now, when you came into the marriage relationship, you are supposed to enter back into that space. Am I right? And fit into that space. But if the man closes up and he will not open up, he will not let you fit in.

It will be difficult to fit into his life. And I've seen some husbands that are very difficult like that. Difficult to help.

A man that does not know he needs a helper is a man that is difficult to help. You will pray that if there is any trace of that in your husband, don't forget God is the one who makes. You will call on God.

Tear the flesh. You know, God used the flesh to cover it, isn't it? That flesh, if it still remains, call on God. Father, where is that flesh still covering? I don't have space in the life of my husband.

He knows how to cook. He knows how to do everything. He knows how to pray.

He prays alone. He does everything alone. There is no space for me to fit into.

I know there are some that may be passing through that. But again, it's not for struggle. It is to pray.

It is to call on the Lord who makes and say, Lord, tear that flesh. Give me space to enter into the life of this man whom you gave me to marry. And God will do it.

It is our responsibility to help them. Even to open up, we will help them. May God help us in Jesus' name.

So it's a help, meat for him. If we go back to Genesis chapter 2, it said, I will make a help, meat, a help, feet, a help suitable for him. So to be a helper indeed to our husbands, do you know that you are the only one that is suitable for him? Heaven sees it like that.

It is only your prayer that is suitable for him. There are prayer warriors, there are brethren here and there who may be praying for your husband. And I know that as well.

That many people are praying for my husband, but I also know their prayers are good. But my own is the suitable one. So even if it is 15 minutes I spend agonizing in prayer for him, my prayer is the suitable one.

Pray for your husband. That's part of the help. Because he cannot even fulfill the call of God if God doesn't help him.

Pray for him. That must be a fulfillment in our lives. Everyday something we have to wake up to fulfill.

Pray for him. Your prayer is the suitable one. What you do for him is the suitable one.

You are the one that fits his life. And God has made it in such a way that even if today his help looks, the help he needs looks very small. And then tomorrow he becomes bigger.

Do you know God has given women the grace of adaptability? That your life will simply adapt. There is grace to enlarge as his need enlarges. The help in your life also does what? Enlarges with it.

The woman is the help made for the man. Your prayer life, your abilities, everything that is in you to render to this man is the suitable, the fitting help that God has given him. So don't deny him that help.

Don't think because people are praying for him, you should not pray for him. Pray! Your prayer is the suitable one. The help you give him at home, at work, is the one that is suitable.

Is the one that is fitting for his life. Pray for him. Help him in life.

Help him emotionally. Help him wherever there is need for help, fit into that. Help him even in kingdom service.

Where you know the call of God on your husband's life and for your home. Participate in it actively. Don't be passive.

Say, ah, me I don't know how to do anything. They say, ah, my wife, please help us to cancel this. No, I can't do it.

I can't do it. You are the man of God, I can't do it. That's why as a woman, as a wife, we must grow our muscles, our spiritual muscles, so that we can help our husbands wherever help is needed.

Help even in ministry. It's important for a woman to fit into her husband's life. To help him even in ministry.

Let it not be that the man is in ministry as a pastor, laboring in Enugu. And then the woman comes up one day and say, God has called me to go and be a missionary in Port Harcourt. Face your call, let me face my own.

As God has called you, he has called me also. And you start troubling this man all day and night. You say, please, shouldn't I fulfill the call of God on my life? He say, ah, the one I'm doing, let's do it together.

You say, no, I must obey God. And then you pack your load and you go to Port Harcourt. You have missed it already.

Help him in that call of God. The garment of ministry that God gave Aaron is one together with his wife. One ministry for a couple.

Even though you have a portion in that one, he also has a portion. It is one call. Help him to fulfill that call.

Sometimes we don't know, maybe it's lack of knowledge, or we don't know how to hear God well. You think that it is God that will now separate what he has joined together. Because of ministry, no, God will not do that.

One call, one ministry per family. You must help him even in ministry. Help him in life.

Help him fit into his needs in life. There are certain gaps that are in the lives of our husbands. And by virtue of our relationships with them, we see it every day.

Like one of the couples said yesterday. As she arranges, the man does what? The man scatters. Even though that does not give the man an excuse to be a scatterer.

Because that's not the ministry. I hope scattering the home is not your ministry. That you will say, yes, so I scatter.

If you arrange, I will scatter it so that you can help me. You have not found out your ministry. It's the devil that scatters.

So pray that you will not scatter. But I'm just giving that as an example. There are gaps in the lives of our husbands that God wants us to fit into.

Find it out. Find it. Sometimes God will reveal it.

There are times I've had to pray and say, ah God, what else do you want me to do in the life of my husband? And God shows me something. I fit into that gap. You will have much to do if you know how to call on God for your husband.

And how to apply your heart to the work, to the purpose that God has for him. You will not be redundant in that relationship. So help him in life.

Help him in ministry. Help him. Don't forget that our text, Genesis 2.18 says, I will make a help meet for him.

We are dealt with the word meet, fit, suitable. The next one is, this help must be for who? For God? Sisters, answer me. A help meet for who? For your husband.

The help that God made a woman is for the man. You say, no, I'm for God, I'm for Jesus. Yes, you are for Jesus.

But Jesus says, I donate you to him. Are you getting me? You are made for him. You were created and equipped for him.

Everything that God has put in you. Every grace. Every divine and physical ability that God has tossed in you.

Everything that you know how to do. And even your beauty. All your abilities.

God put everything there. For who? For him. All my educational attainment.

All the grace of God in my life. Everything about him, about me, I know is for my husband. Use it for him.

That's the creator's wisdom. God has tossed it into you for him. Some of us women.

Anything we touch, we know how to make money. Money just flows. But this man is struggling when it comes to money.

He knows how to do something else. But as far as money is concerned. You are the one.

Anything, even if you carry pure water and you are selling. You can build a house with pure water. I've seen a woman who sold pure water.

And bought a bus. Anything she touches just becomes money. She knows God has given her ability to make money.

But do you know that ability is for who? It's for him. Use it for him. Tailor it towards helping him.

All the grace of God. That God has put in us as women. Is for our husbands.

Don't use it to start your own ministry. Don't use it to make your own name. Don't use it to build your own house.

Don't use it to decorate your own body. It is for him. This help must be directed towards our husbands.

Don't forget it is God that said it. Don't say no, it's for God. It's for God.

I will put everything in God's hands. And God said what of your husband I posted you to help. It is for him.

Did you read it in that scripture? Sisters. All the help inside of you is for who? Turn to your husband and say I am for you. Tell him again.

Tell him everything that God has put in me, I will use for you. Hallelujah. I know the men are very happy.

You were made for him. You are not to be against him. Sisters.

Anything that turns you against your husband originates from the devil. Cast it out. Any difference, any behavioral differences, anything at all.

That will make you to go against your husband is not of God. It's the devil. You are for him.

You were made for him. Use your life for him. If he wastes it, it's not your fault.

He is the one that God will ask to give an account. Do you know I don't envy men. When brother was talking yesterday, I know that he is talking something.

Their responsibility is too grave. If this man misuses your life, it's not your fault. You are simply obeying God.

Be for him. Don't turn against him. You are for him.

You are for him. He says, I will make him a help, meat for him. So everything inside of you is for him.

Walk it out towards helping this man to fulfill the call of God on his life. When I look at the life of Sarah, I saw that the way she helped her husband, that's the way God wants us to help our husbands. Of course, the Bible says we should look unto Sarah who bore us.

If you look at the life of Sarah, how she submitted her life, everything about her into the hands of this man, you would think she would perish, but God stood by her all the time. She submitted. She followed her husband everywhere.

Even when the husband did not know where he was going, Sarah followed. Even when Abraham came one day, saying that he had a vision and God said he should go and slaughter Isaac. Do you think he may not have told Sarah? You know, they had a close relationship.

And anywhere Abraham was going, Sarah was following. They must have discussed. And Sarah said, if that is the will of God, so be it.

That woman used the whole of her life for this man. Even on the conjugal bed, I wondered that at the age of 90, Sarah still had sex with her husband. Do you know that must have taken the grace of God? 90 years old.

Do you know after menopause, conjugal relationship becomes difficult? But Sarah still received grace from God to let her husband sleep with her at 90. That's a grace to pray for. So that you will help this man to the last extent.

She was a great help. And she donated herself for Abraham's sake. And when it came to the fulfillment of God's promise for Abraham, the Bible says Sarah herself received strength to conceive.

Again, that shows that as helpers of our men, we are indispensable. They can't do without us. Even if your husband does as if he can do without you, what do you think you are? If it is the food you are cooking that makes you to think that you are indispensable, away from my kitchen.

Don't mind him. Don't mind him. He can't do without you.

You carry part of his bones. Where is he going without you? So, women are so indispensable and Sarah knew it. And she received strength.

And it was only then that Abraham's barrenness of 25 years came to an end. You are a help, meat for him. You must receive strength to do that assignment so that these men who carry God's promises upon their lives will not die without fulfilling that call of God on their lives.

You will help them until the purpose of God is accomplished in their lives. May God help us so to do in the name of Jesus Christ. It is also wonderful for me to know that when God says we are helpers, you know, that's the same name that God called the Holy Spirit.

Do you remember? The Holy Spirit is our helper. It's too mind-boggling for me to see that God uses the same name to qualify us and the Holy Spirit. That's to show that if you don't know what to do as a helper, learn from the Holy Spirit.

The Bible says concerning the Holy Spirit that is our helper. And how he helps is there in the Bible. If you look at John chapter 16, you will see how the Bible describes the kind of way the Holy Spirit helps.

In John 16, verse 14 and 15, he will glorify me for he will take of what is mine and declare it to you. Even the last part of verse 13, he said, but whatever he hears, he will speak and he will tell you things to come. He will glorify me for he will take of what is mine and declare it to you.

Look at the Holy Spirit, who is God himself, the helper. God called him a helper. Who has no word of himself to speak except what he hears Jesus speak.

That's the kind of help. A helper is not an independent fellow who does his own project. A helper takes of what is of the leader.

A helper does what the leader wants. And a helper glorifies the leader. Doesn't glorify himself.

A helper, that's the Holy Spirit. If you look very well, you will see different ways the Holy Spirit helps us. He prays for us, he intercedes for us.

A woman who knows how to pray will be a great helper. That was one thing I saw also in the life of Sarah. You know, when I saw her level of submission, I knew that it came from her prayer life.

In 1 Peter chapter 3, the Bible talks about submission, isn't it? From verse 1 to verse 6. It talks about submission. And that we should be like the holy women of old. Who submitted to their own husbands.

Because of their trust in God, they trusted God. And that shows also her prayer life. As a helper, our submission must be great, must be intact.

Because you can't help if you don't know how to submit. The man is the leader. You must submit to instructions.

Sarah trusted God that this man will not lead me to hell. She must have been a very great prayer warrior, prayerful woman. She trusted in God who is able to save her even from Pharaoh.

So that Pharaoh will not sleep with her. It was her trust in God that God saw and delivered her. And the Bible says God delivered Sarah.

God plagued Pharaoh's house because of Sarah, Abraham's wife. Not because of Abraham. So to be a helper, it's important to be a woman who trusts in God.

Who knows how to pray. And submission will not be difficult by the grace of God. So you were made for him.

Submit everything. Submit your life and trust in God to fight for you. I know God fights for his women.

He fights for them. Submission is not just to submit and just like that. Sometimes the man doesn't know where he is going.

And you submit. When you have submitted, go and pray. It is your prayer and your trust in God that will deliver both of you from falling into the ditch.

To help the man, prayer is the key. You must be a woman who knows how to pray. And finally, as the Lord told us in the morning, God is the maker.

He is the one who can make this kind of help out of our lives. If there is any deficiency in our lives, in helping our husbands and you have discovered that, Oh, I'm not doing this well, go to the maker. And let our husbands pray for us.

That we will be the kind of helpers to their lives that God wants us to be. It's only God that makes. He says, I will make.

And you know, I'm so excited by that promise. Because up to tomorrow, if you read that scripture, it will still read, I will, not I have. I will make.

God is still in the business of making a help fit for a man. We must know how to go to God. He is the source of the help that we can render to our husbands.

In ourselves, we can do how many things? Nothing. Ah, where will I get help to help the kind of man I married? I don't have the help. I'm telling you the truth.

Every day I keep crying. Oh God, you have given me a big job to put me in the life of this kind of man. Father, the source of our help is the Lord.

The Bible says I will lift up my eyes onto the hills from whence comes my help. My help comes from where? From the Lord who makes the heavens and the earth. You're going to be praying even this evening.

That the Lord will put all the help, all the grace, all the abilities to help your husband. He will put it in you. Any deficiency, let God correct it.

And if in any way, because of our background as the, maybe some of us women, we are the first born from our father's houses and we are always the leader. We command all the other children up and down. We almost command our parents.

But when you get to your husband's house, you must come down. You must come down as Rebecca did. You must come down.

The Bible says as Rebecca was riding on that camel from her father's house, once they reached the land and Isaac appeared, what did Rebecca do? She came down. She came down from that camel. If you will be a help, meet for your husband.

Don't ride the camel to your husband's house. You control everything in your father's house, but not in your husband's house. You must come down from every camel and let the Lord help you to be the help suitable for your husband.

We're going to be praying this night. Have you discovered that you have not really been helping this man? You have been resisting him. He just irritates you.

Please pray that God will change that heart. That the Lord himself will change that situation. So that your heart will not be aversed against him.

Is your wife not having that help? She's not contributing that help that you know she can contribute. Please pray for her. Unless the Lord does it, it cannot be done by a man.

As men, we're going to hold our wives and pray and say, Lord, help my wife to help me. If God doesn't help her, where will she get help? You will call on God that the Lord himself will help her to be able to help you. And as women, you will cry to God.

This man, whatever is the call of God on his life, by my being in his life, he will fulfill it. I will help him. Lord, help me to help him.

Are we ready to pray this evening? We're going to pray right now. Let's first pray for ourselves and say, Lord, thank you for making me a helper. What a great privilege to walk hand in hand with the Holy Ghost, the great helper to help our husbands.

Oh, thank you. Thank you for this divine enablement to be helpers. Thank you, Lord, for the privilege.

And husbands, pray and thank God for your wife. Praise the Lord for your wife. That God has sent you not a trouble in your flesh, but a helper.

God calls her so. Even if there is trouble now, God is making a help inside of her. I want you to say, thank you, Jesus.

Thank you for this woman that you have posted to my life. A helper. Would you like to pray? As women, plead with God.

This is a divine assignment and is primary to all other assignments. Anything you are doing that will not allow you to help this man. You must get away from it.

Plead with God that you will not go home to render a useless account to God. Plead with God to take away from you all that makes it hard for you to help your husband. Take it away, Lord.

Take it away. Is it a job? Is it a call? A ministry? Is it a friend? Is it my parents? They will not let me help my husband the way I should. Ah, this primary call of God.

Lord, take it away from me. Take it away. Lord, take it away.

Why must I die? Unfulfilled. Why must I die? And my husband will perish without fulfilling the call of God. Take away from me everything that will not let me help my husband.

And be a help suitable for him. Husbands, pray for your wife. Unless God does it, your complaints will not do it.

Lord, take away whatever wants to rob me of the help in my wife. Take away from me whatever will not let me help my husband. Lord, take away whatever wants to rob me of the help in my wife.

That is only the time you will receive a well done faithful servant. Pray that God will help you. Not to divert that grace of God to do other things.

To serve yourself. To serve the pastor. And you have not used it for your husband.

Sister. You are a prayer warrior. You pray for every other thing and every other person.

Except your husband. What a misapplication of God's grace. Plead with God that everything in you, you will use it for him.

Primarily for him. Others can take the leftover. For him.

For him. Pray that you will not waste the grace of God. You are a help.

Meat. For him. Pray that you will not waste the grace of God.

Pray with God. That the grace of God will be ministered to you as a woman. When a woman ministers the help that is in her to her husband.

The work of God will be quickly done. The move of God in our time will last long. If women are the help that God wants them to be.

But when you are a hindrance. When you are an up dead load. How will the work of God be done? The move of God will perish.

Pray that you will help indeed. You will be a help indeed. Suitable for your husband.

This man will not need to look outside for help somewhere else. Lord, help me to help my husband. Take me yonder in helping him.

That your work will make progress in our hands. Ah, Father. Lastly, pray for your husband.

That God will give you open door into his life. Into the recesses of his heart to be able to help him. That nothing will block your way of helping this man.

Therein lies your own fulfillment. Pray that the man will not close up against you. Let God grant you an open door.

Call on God. Lord, open the door for me into the life of my husband. Where the door has been closed.

For whatever reason, Lord have mercy. Open the door. Open the door for me to fulfill my ministry.

Open the door. Lord, help me. Open the door for me to render the help that you want me to help.

In the life of this man. My husband needs help. Lord, open the door.

Please pray. Thank you, Father. In Jesus name we pray.

Our Father, we give you thanks. For the privilege of being helpers to our husbands. Thank you, Lord.

For this privilege that you have given unto us. We, that we are nobody. You have made us, we carverses, to be the helpers of these giants.

Surely, you do not look as a man looks. Lord, we are very grateful. Tonight, we commit our lives to you.

We want to be faithful. We want to be effective. Grant us the grace in the name of Jesus.

We ask, O Lord, that every help that you have stopped in our lives. We will use it for our husbands in the name of Jesus Christ. Help us, O God, that we will help them in the place of prayer.

We will help them in ministry. We will help them on the conjugal bed. We will help them, O God, in their very lives, in the name of Jesus Christ.

We ask, O Lord, that the help with which to help them, you will pour it into our lives. We confess that we have no power of our own. We cannot lift a finger without you.

This is the truth, O God. Have mercy upon us. Let your grace flow into our lives to be able to help our husbands appropriately in the name of Jesus Christ.

Make us help us suitable indeed for our husbands in the name of Jesus Christ. If there be any hindrance in any life here that makes it difficult for us to help our husbands, take it away in the name of Jesus. If there be any arrogance anywhere, take it out of the way in the name of Jesus Christ.

Any belief, any culture that runs contrary to this, we break it down in the name of Jesus. We ask, Lord, that your will of being helpers to our husbands will be fulfilled, will prosper in each of our lives in the name of Jesus Christ. These men will reach their highest height through our help in the name of Jesus.

None of them will be dwarfs in our hands. Please help us in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank you, Father.

Thank you for hearing us. That at the end, both of us, when we arrive on the shores of heaven, we will receive well-done faithful servants. Thank you for hearing us.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.