Creating An Atmosphere Of Growth In Your Marriage

Living Seed Media brings to you God's Word, which is his comprehensive equipment for changing lives. May the Lord impact your heart as you encounter his Word. For further enquiry or counsel, contact Peace House, PO Box 971, Boko, Benue State, Nigeria.

Telephone numbers 0703 03636 59 0703 76811 98 Email address lsmedia at livingseed.org Or visit our website at www.livingseed.org Let us sit back and listen as the servant of God brings forth the Word of Life. I would like you to turn to Ephesians chapter 5, verse 21 to verse 33 is the passage I would like to read for this final charge until God brings us back again. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wise, submit yourselves unto your own husband as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wise be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, he that loved his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church was started.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband. May the Lord bless his word again unto our hearts as we take this charge, as we go before him in the name of Jesus Christ. Now from that verse 21, you will see the background upon which the practice of this oneness and this matrimony is going to thrive.

Earlier in that verse, actually if you have read from verse 18, 19, 20, he had laid a general principle that if we will go from here and begin to walk in its reality, you will see that your marriage will only be an outflow. He said, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

When we started the first morning devotion, Colossians 3 was read and in that Colossians 3, just before the issue of marriage or the husband or wife, it was preceded by saying, let the word of Christ dwell in your heart in all wisdom, singing, making melody in your heart. I found that for every home and for every marriage, the atmosphere, the habitat that will grow your relationship must be the atmosphere of thanksgiving, an atmosphere of worship, an atmosphere of gratitude, an atmosphere of engaging the Holy Spirit that God has poured upon us. So as you go, I want you to note one thing.

Did you notice the great joy that God is beginning to bring between the two of you? Don't let it stop. Make melody in your heart for each other. Thank God for one another.

Give thanks to God for one another. I want you to deliberately, you know, when I was speaking to those young couple, I said, how do you honor your marriage? I said, you honor your marriage by thanking God every day for your spouse. Do you remember that? There are so many things that I want you to thank God for in your wife, in your husband, every day.

You know the devil is an accuser of the brethren. He likes to paint a picture as if nothing has ever worked in your marriage, and it's a lie. He would like to paint a picture as if your husband is just a bundle of problems, and it's not true.

So as you go from here, cultivate the spirit of thanks, of gratitude, thanking God for each other. Look for something that you want to thank God for. Every time when I kneel down and I want to begin to thank God for my wife, for my marriage, oh my God, I never finish.

Because where will I start? And to you, you may think, well, is it not monotony? No, no, no, it's not monotonous. There are great things to thank God for your husband for. To thank God for your wife.

There are several good things that God has done, so as you are going, I want to send you forth with the spirit of thanksgiving. You see how the brethren were giving testimonies, how some husbands say, I would not have come. But my wife said, don't say you don't have money, we have money.

To look back at that woman and say, thank you, thank you. Thank you for allowing and making it possible for us to be here, and thank God for you. Are there been issues where you never thought that there was anything there? And because the devil wants always to capitalize on negative things, on things that didn't look well, that's the only thing we'll be talking about.

But look at the word of God, it said, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

That's the atmosphere. Please create the atmosphere of praise in your house. Create the atmosphere of thanks.

Don't forget to say, I thank God for you. I thank God for who you are to me now. I thank God that I didn't know that this is so much that God has put in you.

I thank God, thank you, thank you for being my wife. Sometime I look at myself, I say, how difficult it is to marry brother Billy. It was.

Sometime because I'm sitting down there counseling and talking to people, I would talk, me and my wife would go for a meeting. And when everybody has gone, I'm still sitting there. And I didn't get wisdom in those days.

I say, she understands, she understands, she understands. When we finish, the other people say, brother Billy, we thank God for you, this, that, that, that. They will not even remember to thank my wife.

And I say, ah, it takes grace to marry me. It takes the help of God. Wow, I want you to learn to thank God for yourselves.

As you are traveling, please don't forget to thank God for yourselves. Don't just thank God for trees and for birds, thank God for her. Praise the Lord.

When you are kneeling down to pray with each other, please lift up your voice and thank God for each other. That is the first habitat I want you to build. I know something about worship, about praise, about thanks.

It releases and lubricates. Every time your vehicle is having friction because the engine oil is dry, it will go for a knock, am I correct? So you are always taught, don't allow engine oil to finish in your engine. Check it every morning.

That was what we were taught when we started learning how to drive in those days. And yet the Bible said the oil of joy, the oil of joy, the lubricant for relationship, the lubricant for frictionless bonding, is to bring degrees of grace and the oil of joy. As you are going, don't allow the oil of joy to lack in your house.

Did you hear me? From now on, praise the Lord for one another. I know that when there is friction, the devil also suggests some bad songs. They are religious, but because there is a problem now.

You have not yet chatted with your wife, you have not talked. And when she is passing, If no one joins me, still I will follow Jesus. If no one joins me, still I will follow.

Till no one joins me, I will follow. No turning back, no turning back, no turning back. And then you do your head like that.

Where is that song coming from? But when you already know that this is a treasure that God has put in your life, please appreciate it. Number two, you will notice that verse 21 preceded verse 22. What is in verse 21? Submitting yourselves one to another, where? In the fear of God.

Sometimes when preachers want to preach, they begin in verse 22. And they omit verse 21, which was the basis of that section. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear, in the reference for Christ, the Lord.

You will soon see that as we were studying, as we are learning about becoming one flesh, you will see that what God actually is looking for is submission one to another. When my wife comes with a clear picture, a perspective and said, my husband, I think you should look at it like this. And I submit to it.

That does not mean I am a woman rapper. That does not mean that she is usurping authority. No.

I have just recognized that this is one thing that God planted in her for me. And I'm submitting to collect it. So as you are going, submitting one to another in the presence and in the fear of the Lord.

It is that atmosphere where I am willing to listen to what she says. And I just, if the Lord confirms that, that's okay. She's always eager to, to, to, to listen to what I have to say.

And she say, whatever you feel we should do, I will follow. What a great submission, submitting one to another in the fear of God. So while we will be talking about particular emphasis that God raises for the husband, for the wife, I want you to know that the atmosphere for becoming one and for growing and developing your home is the atmosphere of submitting one to another because of the Lord.

In the presence of the Lord and in reference to the Lord. Now, if we have achieved verse 18, 19, 20 up to 21, then verse 22 now comes with simplicity. He said, wives, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands.

Ask unto the Lord. Now, during the Bible study, we came on this and we said, your home, your marriage is an illustration, a figurative, a figurative illustration of Christ's relationship with the church. And that all marriages, our marriages particularly, God wants to use it as an audio visual aid pointing to that great marriage of the Lamb to his bride, even the church.

So when he said, wives, submit to your own husband, ask unto the Lord. Please don't ever forget that honestly your submission to your own husband is ask to the Lord. If you will never disobey the Lord, there's no reason to be resisting him in your husband.

It is Christ in your husband. And all you just want to do is by the grace of God. I am submitting to him, ask unto the Lord.

For the husband, the Bible says, is the head of the wife, even us. So you will see the us, us, us, even us, that is repeated in this section now. It shows that the standard measurement, the height that we are expecting as we grow together, don't forget it is ask Christ, ask Christ, ask Christ.

Each time you are saying, I love my wife, don't forget that the measurement of that love is what Christ did. And if each of us are relating us unto the Lord, ask Christ will do it. You will also see that both you and Haim, both you and her will be making wonderful progress.

In fact, it will surprise you what God has done. I am looking forward to when I see you again. There will be great stories and testimonies in the name of Jesus Christ.

Even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the saviour of the body. And as I am looking at that, I sense that as God will be guiding you, you will soon see that the word saviour in that verse 23 is talking about that which protects, that which he who preserves, he who defends, he who will not allow stranger to come in. That is what God is asking me to be and asking you to be.

Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. When he said in everything, I want you to know that in everything, because it is as unto Christ. And as you are doing so, oh God, he will stand for you because the head of every man is Christ.

Husbands, love your wives as you are going, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. The only measure by which we say you are showing love to your wife is as Christ also loved the church. And what did he do for her? Gave himself.

And I wanted to ask you, when did Jesus, when did he give himself for us? When we are yet sinners, when we are not doing well, when our thoughts were contrary to him. And I pray that you will have opportunities to demonstrate the love of Christ to your wife every time. And that opportunity is not necessarily when she has just fried very good turkey.

When sometimes she appears as if she is contrary, that's when Christ's love is made manifest. Say, why we are yet sinners, why we are yet ungodly? That's when he loved us. Say, here is the love of God made manifest.

Now, why we are yet weak, why we are yet sinners, why we are yet not cooperating? He died for us. My brother, as you are going, God will be giving you opportunity to showcase Christ to your wife. You will be having grace to manifest Christ.

Let me inform you, anything that happens after here is not a reason for quarrel. It's a reason to show forth Christ's life. Any snap that may take place is not a reason for withdrawing.

No, no, no. It's a reason for releasing more of yourself. As you go, the Lord goes with you.

He will make His face to shine upon you. That He gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word. When my wife was speaking about the Word that comes out of her mouth, as she said, Words are very, very precious to women.

I also wanted to note that even between Christ and the Church, the only means that He has used to sanctify the Church, to prepare the Church, is by the Word. He said, you are clean by the Word that has spoken to you. Brothers, I want to request that you will be very judicious with the Word that cleanses, the Word that sanctifies, the Word that encourages, the Word that releases your wife, that brings her potentials out.

You might think your wife is like this, is like this. No, you settle down. Begin to invest the Word of God into her.

Begin to speak words that are seasoned with grace. You will soon see that something will change. I will eventually give you the definition, my own definition of Husband.

I hope you know the word Husband is H-U-S-B-A-N-D. Am I right? Not H-O-R-S-E-B-A-N-D. What will be the difference between Horseband and Husband? Horseband.

H-O-R-S-E-B-A-N-D. H-U-S-B-A-N-D. You know the sound I like.

What's the difference? Horseband, the one that rides a horse. That's not what God calls you. God is not making you a horse rider.

Horse riders, they are only concerned about what they want to get. But what did they call us? Horseband. You know the word Horseband comes from Horsebandry.

Oh my God. Did you remember that John 15 says, my father is the what? Is the Horsebandman. Is there anybody here who did Horsebandry? Horsebandry as a course in the university or anywhere? Can I see your hand up? I wish you would be able to define for us.

But I think Horsebandry is the art and the science and the practice of taming wild animals until they become domesticated. And I found Horsebandmen, they have tamed all kinds of animals. Sometimes they have tamed lions.

They have tamed very very voracious dogs. And it became their friend. And I tried to study what makes wild animals to bark at a man like me.

And he only wang his tongue. To the man that... Alright, thank you very much. I found out what makes the Horsebandman.

Is that he has learned how to tend. How to fold. How to feed.

How to curry. What could have been a wild untamable animal. If God will help you to be the Horseband.

Even as Christ is to the church. You will soon see that all that you thought was wild. All that you thought was untamable.

All that the devil is making look as if that is stubbornness. You will soon see that there is nothing like that. They are only waiting for care.

They are only waiting for tending. For folding. For feeding.

For care. You will not qualify to be Horseband. If these are not the characteristics.

Said that he might present it to himself a glorious church. Not having spots or wrinkles or any such thing. But that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loved his wife. He loves himself.

For no man ever yet ate his own flesh. But nourishes it and cherishes it. I would like to make two comments on that.

Even as the Lord does to the church. I found that if you do not nourish. There will be nothing to cherish.

Nourishing is what gives room to cherishing. If we don't take time to nourish our wives. They may not become cherishable.

If we don't invest time. Time. Communication.

Fellowship. You might discover that. They have developed a different way.

And of course. All right. Thank you very much.

We are about to draw conclusions. He said. But nourishes and cherishes it.

And I said. Please nourish her. You will find her cherishable.

Nourish your wife with good material, spiritual things. Right atmospheres. As you nourish.

Deliberately. You will find her cherishable. And it's you.

It's yours. It's yours. She's yours.

For we are members. Of his body. Of his flesh.

And of his bones. When God gives you time. To again check.

The book No More Too. You will see that Lord permitted us to speak elaborately. About those three dimensional joining.

The flesh. I mean the bone of his bones. The flesh of his flesh.

And the body. Members of his body. I do pray that God.

Would give you that understanding that. You are members of one another now. She's not different from you.

She's you. For this God shall a man leave his father and mother. And shall be joined.

Shall cleave unto his wife. And they too. Shall be one flesh.

As you go keep cleaving. Keep holding to one another. Keep building.

Keep. Pursuing that oneness. In everything.

The Lord will bless you. Finally this is a great mystery. The things that God has allowed us to touch this weekend.

Is a great mystery. Marriage is a great mystery. Two people becoming one flesh is a great mystery.

No matter how we explained it. It's mysterious. It's a great mystery.

But he said I speak concerning Christ. And the church. And so that nobody will say well since it's about Christ and church.

Nobody can do it. That's why I came back and said nevertheless. Let everyone of you.

In particular. So love his wife. Even as himself.

And the wife see that she reverence. Her husband. As I release you to go in the name of the Lord.

May you go in his grace. May each one of you. Become profitable to God.

May your home become a platform for victory. May everything you agree upon to do. May it turn out right in the name of Jesus Christ.

May each one of you husbands. Exercise particularity. About your marriage.

And every wife. Your own husband. I want you to know that he said your own, your own.

There may be so many other men. None is like your own. You may be seeing them on the pulpit and say that man is better than my husband.

It's not true. It's because you've never come near. To see the hole.

That has been covered. Reference your own husband. Honor him.

Venerate him. Esteem him. Regard him.

Place a crown on his head. Because in his honor. You become honorable.

And as you labor together with him. As you input all the grace of God in your life. To make him what God wants him to be.

You also shall be praised. Your children will rise up to honor you tomorrow. And this generation.

Will praise you. They will say who is that woman, the virtuous woman. Her price is more than rubies.

As I stop. I commend you to him who is able to keep you. Who is able to watch over you.

Who is able to perfect all that concerns you. He who has begun a good work in you. He will perfect it.

The wine that he has again recreated. Is the wine that never fades. It will not fade.

It will be ever sweet. It will grow sweeter. One of the things that God made us to note.

In the course of this meeting. Is that your marriage. Is unlike any other relationship.

Other relationship you outgrow it. It becomes outdated. It becomes outmoded.

At a time it becomes irrelevant. At another time it becomes unavailable. But not your marriage.

Your marriage is ever fresh. Currently current. Every expansion.

Your wife and your husband. Is fitting for it. Every promotion you will have in life.

Will be the promotion of the two of you. Your joy shall be your joy both. And the hand of God.

Shall rest upon you. If you will stand. I would like to declare this meeting.

Close. As we release you unto the Lord. Please stand on your feet right now.

And please lift up your two hands to heaven. And I wanted to tell God finally. Thank you for what you have done.

Thank you for the woman that you have given me. Thank you for the husband. Thank you.

Thank you. You will bounce in the Lord every day. You will be bouncy in the Lord every day.

The joy of the Lord will never depart from your camp. The blessing of the Lord will remain in your house. Your children will be like the olive plants around your table.

You will remain fruitful all the days of your years. I declare to you that God who has begun a good work in your heart. He will perfect it.

The Lord Almighty shall bless you. He will bless your going out. He will bless your coming in.

The Lord himself shall fight all your battles. He will deliver you from seven evils. And from eight he will set you free.

The Lord will cause even the elements of the earth to be at peace with you. As you go about in life, God will be jealous over you. His face will shine upon you.

I say the sun will not smite you by day. Nor the moon by night. The Lord Almighty will keep your going out and your coming in.

He will not suffer your foot to be moved. Because he that keepeth you will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth is stretched and neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper. The Lord will be your shade upon your right hand. I say the sun must not smite you by day.

Nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from every evil. He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in. From this time forth and even forever more. In the name of Jesus Christ.

So Lord, bless your people as they go. Use them as a blessing, a conduit pipe to bless others. By their hands and by their lives, we will see communities turning about.

The vehicles they will take as they go back, we sanctify it. No evil will come near you. You will not run into any pothole.

No vehicle will run into you. Standing obstacles will not become your obstacle. You are going home safely.

Going every day rejoicing. You will bounce in the Lord. Every day you will be bouncing in the Lord.

You will be bouncing in the blessings of the Lord. Thank you Father. Unto you O God who is able to do all things well, do we commend our brethren.

That in keeping you will keep them. In watching you will watch over them. In perfecting you will perfect all that concerns them.

When the roll is called up yonder, none of them shall be found missing. And when the trumpet will sound, O God, they shall be rapturable. They shall rise in the name of Jesus Christ.

So Lord, thank you for hearing our prayer. Thank you for standing with us. Thank you for doing what no man can do.

Thank you Father.