Mike Bickle emphasizes the transformative journey of the Apostle John, illustrating how he evolved from a 'son of thunder' to the 'disciple whom Jesus loved.' Bickle encourages believers to prioritize their relationship with Jesus as their greatest reward, rather than seeking success in ministry or personal achievements. He highlights the importance of feeling God's love and responding to it, advocating for a shift in mindset that places love for God above all else. Through John's example, Bickle inspires listeners to lean into their identity as beloved children of God and to pursue a deeper connection with Him.

Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus, and Lord, we ask you that you would mark hearts tonight. Father, I ask you for a shift in lives tonight, that you would mark them by the Spirit according to these glorious truths in John 21. I thank you in Jesus' name, amen. Well, John 21, verse 20, is one of the verses that has changed my life the most over the years, over the last 40 years of walking with the Lord, and my goal is that you would make John 21, 20 one of your favorite verses, that if it's new to you, that you would become familiar and you would say, this is how I'm going to carry my heart before the Lord. Now, God's plan for every believer is that we would experience the presence of God and the love of God. Not just that we would academically know it's there, but we would actually feel it from Him and we would feel it back to Him. That's the vision you want to walk in. It's your inheritance to feel the love of God and to feel love back to Him. I don't mean all day, every day to live by feelings, but feelings are a part of our inheritance. Paragraph A, it's very common to hear of very sincere believers that are spiritually dry and burned out and disillusioned. I hear about it all the time, I'm sure we all do. How does it happen that a sincere believer can be so burned out and discouraged and spiritually dry? I believe that one of the ways is they're pursuing the Lord and they're pursuing ministry with a wrong mindset. And my goal tonight is to identify that to where we shift our mindset and our focus to where we pursue the Lord and ministry in a different way than is common in the lives of many. Because renewal, spiritual renewal, I'm talking about feeling loved, not just knowing your love, feeling it and feeling love back, is within the reach of every believer by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit wants to awaken this in our lives and this way forward is illustrated so beautifully by the life of John the Apostle. And he sums it up in this one verse, John 21, verse 20. Paragraph B, we'll start back with Abraham. Abraham is the picture of how to live by faith. He's the model. What the Lord told Abraham in Genesis 12, he said, Abraham, I'm going to give you a lot of money, I'm going to give you a lot of honor, and you're going to make a historic impact. That's pretty good, isn't it? From heaven. I'll make you real wealthy, real famous, and you will make an impact that will change all of human history. But then the Lord tells him a couple chapters later in chapter 15, verse 1, this is another very important verse, he says, but know this, Abraham, I'm going to give you a lot of money, a lot of influence, a lot of honor, but know this, I, the Lord, I am your exceeding great reward, not the money, not the honor, and not the impact. I myself am your reward. These are your secondary blessings. I myself am your exceeding great reward. This is what John the Apostle walked out, we're going to find in John 21. Paragraph C, there was a key moment in my life some years ago, and I'm wanting that key moment to happen in some of your young lives tonight. When I defined, it was a, it was a intentional shift, where I intentionally, cognitively defined, Jesus is my primary reward, not an anointed ministry, I shifted one day. I'm not saying I followed through real well on it, but there was a paradigm shift where I said, I am consciously making the greatest reward in my life, the interaction with the man Christ Jesus. And I understood then, that there's an anointing of the Spirit, there's a grace, to feel love from him, to feel love back to him. I don't want to just be loved by God, I want to love him with all my strength. I don't want to just be loved, I want to respond. I mean, it's so glorious, when the Lord, the Holy Spirit helps us, even a little bit, I'm not there yet, I'm not at the fullness by any means, but my strength, the Lord is helping me to give it to him in love, and that's a glorious way to live. You can live tenderized in your spirit, you can live fascinated with Jesus, and things can go wrong on the circumstantial level, but your heart can stay tender and fascinated. Beloved, there's nothing more powerful than this anointing for him to be your exceeding great reward. I have good news, the Holy Spirit is establishing the first commandment in first place in the church before the Lord returns. The first commandment, love the Lord your God with all your strength. I mean all your being, the anointing to love God with all of your strength, all your mind, your heart, that takes the grace of God, it takes God to love God. But the Holy Spirit is establishing the first commandment first, now the first commandment is in the top ten right now in the body of Christ, but it's not first place. But before the Lord's return, before he returns, it will be in first place. Because that's the only inheritance that Jesus is worthy of, a bride that loves him like he loves her with all of their strength. Do you know that he loves us with all of his strength, with all of his mind? He didn't tell us to love him that way, except he initiates the relationship that way. Can you imagine God loving you with all of his mind? I mean look at the stars, how smart God is. I look up and go, unbelievable, you are smart. I love you with all of my mind. All of your strength. Well if he's going to do that in the body of Christ at large, it's your inheritance. I want you to determine tonight that the anointing to love God with all of your being is yours. And that you're going to go for that even more than the money and the honor and the impact. You're going for those things, you want the Lord's blessing in every way, but you're going to make that second, not first. It changes everything. When you make it second, not first. Paragraph D, the Bible describes two large, vast categories of blessing. Our greatest blessing is Jesus himself. Our secondary rewards, not our exceeding great ones, our secondary rewards. They are rewards. I love rewards. I love all the rewards. I love the secondary ones. They're favor on circumstances, favor on relationships, favor on ministry impact. But beloved, when favor in those arenas becomes number one like it typically is just by nature, that's number one, and Jesus is our secondary reward, not the primary, things break in our heart. It was never meant to be that way. But when Jesus is our primary reward, when the blessings are delayed, how many of you know sometimes the favor's delayed? Or there's another one, how many of you know sometimes the blessing decreases from one season from the other? Here I am at a certain measure of favor and blessing, the next season it's not at the same measure. That's called pruning in John 15. It happens to everybody. But if Jesus is my primary reward and those are my secondary rewards, my heart can stay invigorated. But if it's the other way around, I get offended and I quit or I get tempted to quit. It was 30 years ago almost, just coming up to 30 years, the Lord spoke by the audible voice of the Lord. And He said to do 24-hour prayer with singers and musicians. That was back in May 1983. We're approaching that 30-year mark. And He said it audibly. I've had two audible voice directions in 35 years of ministry. One of them, do 24-hour prayer with singers and musicians. One of them, do it through the lens of the Bridal Paradigm, the Bride of Christ. Both of those were very strange directions. And the Lord said it. It was like, I don't want to do 24-hour prayer and I don't really go for this Bride of Christ thing. That's not really what I'm into. So two different commissions from the Lord in a heightened way. And the reason I needed that heightened way, because I had a natural repelling to those two assignments. It's just like, ugh. And the Lord knew that I needed help to be anchored in that. Well, we put the sign on the wall almost 30 years ago, 24-hour prayer, the spirit of the Tabernacle of David is what the sign said. And for 16 years, I was pastoring the church here in Kansas City and people would come and they would say, because we didn't start IHOP for 16 years, they would say, what's that 24-7 thing? I go, I don't know, honestly, I don't know. I really didn't know. I said, the spirit of the Tabernacle of David, that means with singers and musicians. I said, there'll be singers. They go, when are you going to do it? I go, I don't know. Where? Why? How? I don't know anything. 16 years passes, IHOP starts. And I'm very nervous. I don't have a clue how to do this thing. Well, we're at the 13-year mark and the Lord has increased it in a handful of ways. So my friends, over the last 30 years, who saw that sign on the wall for many years before we started, because we waited 16 years after that audible voice encounter, it was 16 years later before we started, because He didn't say when or how or why or anything. So as IHOP grew and friends over the years come, and almost inevitably one of my good friends from the 80s or the 90s comes by and visits IHOP and they go, wow, thing really happening. And inevitably they will say something like, your dream came true. It happened. Look, it's happening. And it's breaking forth all over the world. Your dream came true. And what I tell them, I said, IHOP is not my dream. IHOP's my assignment. My dream is to interact with Jesus by the power of God at the heart level, at the highest level that God will give the human spirit in this age. That's my dream. I said, if IHOP gets real big, my dream does not get helped. If IHOP falls apart, my dream is not injured. Nobody can touch my dream, and IHOP is not my dream. It's my assignment. I appreciate IHOP, most of the time. Don't tell nobody I said that. But IHOP's the hardest thing, the hardest ministry assignment I ever had. I thought, the Lord tricked me, because I thought I was leaving, pastoring us, pastoring a church, several thousand people, so we had a lot of, it was hard, a lot of work, a lot of dynamics. I thought I was leaving that to just go pray all day and shundime a hundai and love Jesus. I didn't realize there'd be 80 departments and all kinds of interactions that were challenging. I was like, oh Lord, what is this IHOP thing? But I love it. If I had to do it over again, I would do it over again. And I'll do it to my last breath in this earth. But my point is, it's not my dream. That's the reason why, when IHOP goes high and low, when we get pruned or we have increase, I am not going to let that touch my heart, the good or the bad. I said, I'm not living there. I'm living in a different space inside myself. That's why IHOP can't get me, good or bad. I won't let it. I have another dream I'm going hard after, that He would be my exceeding great reward. I mean, He is already. But what I mean, that I would interact with Him. I would discover the beauty, the glory of this man, and that I would be able to feel the ability to give myself wholehearted back. That to me is my exceeding great reward. God Himself is our reward. My prayer tonight is that some of you would make a shift. And that would become, Genesis 15, He would become your exceeding great reward. Your ministry vision would be very important, but it would go down a notch. And I tell you, if you do that, you will live spiritually safe. Because if your ministry is number one, or even your relationships are number one, you're in a very vulnerable position for burnout, for offense, for discouragement, for disappointment. Let's look at John's testimony. Roman number two. Well, it starts, John's, nobody knows for sure, he's about 20 years old. He's clearly a young man, everyone knows that. Let's say he's 20. At the very beginning of his ministry with Jesus, Jesus gave him a prophetic name. I mean, could you imagine God in the flesh naming you prophetically? Like, wow, that's pretty cool. You know, I'm 20 years old, and the Genesis 1 God in the flesh is naming me. Which means I have a different way forward, a different destiny in God related to that name. He calls him a son of thunder. And that's what I'm wanting, and that prophecy marked him. You know, about 20 years old. My prayer is this will mark you, this prophecy. That you'll make it yours. Now, when the Lord called him a son of thunder, and I don't know if we'll have time to develop this at the end, but John was a son of thunder in the natural. I mean, he had pride. He had thunderous wrong emotions. And that really comes out in Luke 9 in three incidences real clear where John's pride, and Jesus rebuked him and said, John, you're out of control. You have a wrong spirit. You are a son of thunder, but in the other way. But being a son of thunder was not just a description of his natural personality. It's also his destiny in the spirit. And the story of John is the story of a young man who went from thunderous emotions negatively to thunderous emotions positively. And he actually tells us how he made the journey. That the love of God would thunder in him before it was over. He was known in history as the apostle of love. The love of God thundered in him, but that wasn't it. And it thundered from him back to God. He was called the apostle of love. That's what church history calls him. Paragraph B. Well, we all know what it means to be a son of thunder in the natural. Ambition, lust, rejection, anger, bitterness. We all have a different combination, but we have plenty of that thunder in our emotions. But I have good news for you. Transformation is available to you just like it was to him. Paragraph C. Here's the key verse. At the end of his life, he's about 90. So it's about 70 years later. About 70 years later, 60, 70 years later, whatever. John writes the gospel of John. It's what most scholars say. It was probably 80, 90, I mean 80, something like that. And at the very end of the gospel of John, after he's written all 21 chapters, he signs it. He gives us his signature verse. Here it is. When he, in verse 20 here, when he described himself in these three ways, he was giving his signature to the gospel of John. He was saying, this is the man who wrote this gospel. Now pay close attention. Because this signature verse is also the key to how he went from a son of thunder in the natural, negative, to a son of thunder in the spirit, positive. These three phrases give insight on how the transformation took place. Tells us how he carried his heart. Top of page 2. Well, I forgot to read the verse, but you've already turned the page, so I'll read it. John 21, 20. Forgot to read it. Here's what it says in John 21, 20. So go back to page 1. Peter saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following. The one who leaned on his breasts at the supper, and the one who said, Lord, is this the one who betrays you? Pay close attention. These are, each one of these are, it's like a Mount Everest. I mean, it's a big mountain of truth. First of all, Peter, and I'll break all this down. I mean, I'll have this in the notes. We won't cover it all, but I'll just kind of say it to you, and then we'll skip some of the notes. But five times in the Gospel of John, when John wrote about himself, and it's undisputed. Everybody knows it's John. He didn't say, Peter saw John running. He said, Peter saw. Here's John writing. He didn't say, Peter saw me running behind him, or Peter saw John. He goes, Peter saw the guy that God loves running. You know, Peter could read this and go, me and the man that God loves? Like, John goes, yeah, yeah, that's me. I'm the one God loves. Not the only one, because the truth is, Jesus offers this to everybody, but John took it. John took it. He called himself the one God loves. Hi, how are you doing? What's your name? I'm the one God loves. Don't do it that way in an introduction. I'm taking a little liberties here. I don't think he really did that. But he didn't stop there. He says, I'm not just the one that God loves. I'm the one that leans my head on his heart. I love him. I get near and dear to him. I press into him. I'm the one that leans on him. My life passion is to receive his love and return it, to lean on him. That's who I am. That's what I do. Yes, I'm an apostle, but before I'm an apostle, I'm the one that leans on his heart. That's how I carry my heart. I want more of his heartbeat. And then number three, he's the one who asked, who betrays you. And in a few moments, I'll have the verses laid out. But at the Last Supper, Judas' betrayal was a tremendous scandal among the apostolic company. Meaning none of them thought it was Judas. And we'll find out later that the scripture says Jesus was really hurt by that betrayal. So Jesus is going into the greatest crisis. Hours later, he would be on the cross, but there was a relational crisis. He is deeply pained by the betrayal of his good friend. I mean, even when he kissed him, he called him friend in the garden. And so Peter, you know, Jesus says, someone's going to betray me. They're stunned. They can't guess. They looked around the circle. It wasn't John. It wasn't Peter. It wasn't Judas for sure. It wasn't James. And they go, we don't know who it is. And here's what Peter does. This is so amazing. Peter, we'll get to the verse later, but he leans over and says to John, John, ask him who it is. You know, John could have said, well, Peter, you ask him. You're the one that's got the documented bold personality that says things out of place. You ask him. But he said, no, no, John, he'll tell you everything. And he's in pain right now. So he whispered to him because Jesus was observably in pain. And John was saying here, I'm the one that he tells his secrets to. That's what he's saying. I'm the one that wants his secrets, but I'm the one, again, not the one as the only, because any believer has this, he'll tell his secrets to me. And I'm living for his secrets. And I don't mean the kind of eccentric information of the names of angels or the realms and the spirit. That's not what I'm talking about by his secrets. I'm talking about the things that beat on his heart that he wants his beloved. He wants to partner with his people. Okay, let's go to the top of page two now. So we understand our twofold identity. This is my favorite sentence to say to the Lord. I've said this for many years, many years. I tell the Lord, here's my confession to him. I say, Lord, especially when my heart's troubled, and I can't make sense of the trouble, meaning the pain hurts, and I feel anxiety or I feel a negative emotion, and I stop and go, wait a second. And when the enemy comes, it tells you, don't press in so hard. Just draw back and coast like the others are doing anyway. Because, I mean, you press in, the devil says, here's what you get for pressing in. You get disappointed, things go wrong, God doesn't come through, people turn on you. And so we've all had plenty of those whispers of the enemy in our ear. So why don't you just draw back and coast spiritually? And so I stop and I think, you know, why am I on the earth anyway? What am I doing? And I conclude, what's really important in life? I go, the Genesis 1 God. I mean, the God that created in Genesis 1. He really likes me. I go, that's really good. If the Genesis 1 God loves you, beloved, you have it made. Almost, not quite. Because he requires that you respond back. Because he so loves the world. God so loves the world that many of them, they don't receive it. So it's not enough that he loves. Well, that's good. But when we receive it, the connect is made. So I stop and think, I go, God, you love me. And by the grace of God, I'm one of the small percent of the human race. Because most of the human race are not born again believers. I mean, a billion are, but six billion aren't. Or whatever the number is. The majority are not. And I go, you love me. And by the grace of God, I know it. And I love you. Therefore, I'm already successful. I've already succeeded in the biggest way of life. And so, I work that muscle. When the pain, the disappointment, the anointing isn't what I think. Or the money or the relational conflicts. I go, wait, wait, you love me. I love you. I've already am successful. It's already established. And beloved, when I realign my soul to that, I can face all kinds of difficult circumstances with a different spirit. Because I don't want to approach my ministry to become successful. I want to approach my ministry because I already am successful. I already am successful. You know, when the thief on the cross died. Here he is on the cross and he says, Jesus, remember me? Jesus says, today, you'll be with me in paradise. Today. Today. He dies. He's in paradise. He's walking around going, whoa, I never heard about this place. I'm in thinking he's in paradise. Everything is new. If I knew I was a king, I wouldn't have been a thief. I'm a king and a priest. I wouldn't have been a thief if I knew this. I mean, that guy has it made forever. I mean, huge has it made forever. And so do you. Beloved, if you're loved by God and you have the grace of God to receive it, and you return it, you're one of the minority of all of human history. You're already one of the most successful people that have ever walked on the planet from God's point of view. Already. Already tonight you are. Unrelated to money. Unrelated to other things. Now, I believe in working for increase in success in those arenas. But you work for them for success in those secondary arenas with a different spirit if you know you're already successful. Because it doesn't burn you out laboring and working in the arena of the secondary rewards. There's two aspects of who you are. Number one, your spiritual identity. It's who you are before God. It's how he sees you. You know how he sees you? He loves you. You love him. You're successful. That's how he sees you right now tonight. Then there's our natural identity, which is very important. This is not unimportant. It's just second. Second's not so bad. It's who we are before people, how they see us, what we accomplish. But that's my natural identity, what I accomplish before people. My spiritual identity is who I am before him and how he sees me. And if I can transition my inner thought life to move over to that arena, beloved, I can live with power on my heart. That's the point tonight. Paragraph C. John, by this verse, tells us how he wanted to be known. He wanted to be known by how he related to Jesus, not by how much he accomplished in his ministry. How do you want to be known? What is the highest thing you want to be known for? John wanted to be known by how he related to Jesus. In his signature verse, he did not tell us his accomplishments. I mean, John, paragraph D, had one of the greatest resumes in all of church history. I mean, think about it. He's best friends with Jesus' mother Mary. On the cross, Jesus says, John, she's your mom from now on. He goes, amen. I mean, can you imagine living with Mary? I mean, that's pretty intense. He was very deep friends with the apostles. I mean, if Reinhard Bonnke came here tonight, it would be such a joy to meet him. I mean, you would love to say, wow, I've had a few chances to sit with him and have a meal, and that's one of my highlights in my life. Meeting with Reinhard Bonnke or Lorne Cunningham or a few guys like that. I mean, wow, to know those guys. It's fantastic. Well, he knew Peter, the apostle. He's good friends. He knew Paul. He led, John led some of the greatest revivals in the book of Acts with Peter. John wrote five books of the Bible. I don't mean he wrote five books that were best sellers. He wrote five books of the Bible. Jesus told him, he says to the twelve, but John's one of them, you're going to be on a throne in the age to come. Like, yes. I mean, when John saw the book of Revelation, catch this. He sees the book of Revelation, the open vision. John 21, he sees the New Jerusalem, city of gold, on the foundation stones are the name of the apostles. John, oh, my goodness, my name's on the foundation stone of the New Jerusalem. John. That's intense. I mean, what if Andy, right there on the New Jerusalem foundation. It would be hard not to have at least somebody put that on Facebook. At least one person. Like, come on. Just slip it out there and just see where it goes. I mean, what if you led the greatest revivals, wrote the book of the Bible, was good friends with Peter, Paul, and Mary. That's the old crowd. Paragraph E. He never mentions any of it. When he signs off, I'm the guy God loves. I lean on his heart and he tells me his secrets. He goes, that's who I am. I mean, when that connected to me some time ago, I went, that is what I want. That is what God meant when he told Abraham, I am your exceeding great reward, Abraham. Not your money, not your fame, not even your ministry impact. I am. The interaction with me and you, heart to heart, that is your greatest reward. The interaction of our hearts. Romans 4. Well, let's look at each one of these three. I'm not going to go through all this because I've said a bunch of it. But I just want you to see it. John, the disciple whom the Lord loved. That's who he is. That's how he referred to himself. Now, it goes back to the upper room. Right before Jesus would die at the Last Supper. Just in the upper room. Jesus says the most staggering statement that I can imagine. I mean, I can't find a verse that passes this verse in its power and its implication. He looked at them. John 5, 9. 15, 9. Again, this could be another one of your life verses. I urge all of you to preach this verse all the time. I preach this verse so often. But meaning, I'll take two to three minutes in a sermon and highlight it. I can't get enough of this verse. Jesus looked at the 12. And he said this at the Last Supper. We're up in the upper room. He said, as the Father loved me. Pause. As the Father loved you. How much did God love you? He goes, that's the way I feel about you. Beloved, the intensity that the Father has for Jesus. The intensity of love is the intensity that he feels for you. Then he told them. You see this little phrase? Abide in my love. He said, guys, stay focused on this. Abide in it doesn't just mean live in it in a mystical, mysterious way. Stay focused on this truth. Don't ever graduate from this. Stay here. Abide means dwell here. Remain here. Other translations would use those phrases. Stay here. Remain. Abide. Dwell here. He said, I just told you a volcanic explosion of revelation. I love you the way God loves me. Camp out here. Don't move on past this. Whatever else you take on, never graduate from that truth. Abide in this. Stay here. Put your roots in. Beloved, that statement. When God said, I love you the way God loves me. When Jesus said that, that gave you the right to stand before him with confidence that you are his favorite one. Now, because of the magnitude of his love, he could have a billion favorite ones. That's no problem. He loves me as much as he loves Jesus. Beloved, there's nobody higher up than me. I don't take that out of context. There's nobody higher in God's love than you. I don't know about you. I'm running with this. This is phenomenal. Jesus, you mean he loves me equal to you? Yes. I'm him. I have it made on steroids. I mean, I have it made. I have it. Now, John ran with that statement. When I see those other guys of the age to come, I'm going to say, Peter, James, all of you, why didn't you guys put that in anything? Peter, why didn't you comment on that sentence? I'm sure you'll have a good answer, but John said, I put it in my book. John said, I'm the guy God loves. They can all say it, but John's the only one that did in terms of writing it. I'm sure they'll have a good answer. But I'm running with this. I love to stand before the Lord, and this is cute at first, but it's meaningful a little bit down the road. I stand before the Lord, and I present myself to him, and I go, here I am, your beloved. And I say this to him. I go, your favorite one, here I am. It's me again. And I've said that thousands of times over the years to the Lord. Your beloved one, your favorite one. It's me again, Lord. And I imagine him smiling, saying, yes, you understand, don't you? Ever so little, but you understand a little bit. When the devil tries to tell me something opposite, I say, it is written, he loves me like the Father loves him. And I'm going with it. I'm going with that to the end. Lest you think that he was talking to some super saints, paragraph B, that same night. I mean within the hour. He told him. He goes, by the way, every one of you will stumble and deny me tonight. I know what I'm getting into. I know you're immature, but I still feel the same about you. Every one of them denied him that night. He didn't take back his statement. Matter of fact, the revelation of how he felt about him was what would cause them to recover from their failure. Beloved, when I touch this truth, I run to him, not from him. When I stumble. This verse, this truth became the foundation stone of John's life. Five times. When he talks about himself in the gospel of John, I'm the guy God likes. He wouldn't back away from it. Top of page three. The second thing, I lean on his heart. Beloved, nobody can give Jesus all of your love. Only you can. You uniquely can give him all of your heart. But giving him all of our heart is not something that happens automatically or something in a vacuum. It's intentional. Psalm 91 says, I set my love upon you. We set our love. There's a time in our life where we decide that loving him with all of our heart is our number one goal. We set our love on him in that way. I'm not talking about just kind of casually loving him during a worship service. It's an intentional, definitive goal where you say, from now on, I'm shifting. This is the reason I live. Yes, I'm going to bring the love to others. I'm going to enjoy blessing in a hundred areas of life and a lot of relationships. But I live and exist to give you my love. And that means with a spirit of obedience. I mean, I'm going to know you. Roman numeral six. The disciple whom the Lord said, who is the one that betrays you? The one, John said, I'm the man. And again, all of us can be that man or woman. I'm the one that God tells his secrets to. We position our life to hear his secrets through his word. Again, I'm not talking about mystical secrets of the angelic realm. I'm talking about the truth in the Bible. They would move us deeply. Beloved, you know the Bible that's in your hand? That Bible? That same Bible. I don't mean the physical. You will be reading that Bible one billion years from now. It will never change. Meaning, there are so many layers of truth. A billion years from now, it will excite you. I mean, the Bible is so full. I want to consume it. I know a lot of believers. They have so much time for recreation and entertainment and Facebook. And they watch this and watch that. They never read the Bible. And the Bible is so exciting. And it's layers and layers of fascination. And I understand. They go, yeah, but I don't get it. And I say this to you with, I'd like to take a half hour on this. I'm not going to. But my early years in the Lord, I really loved the Lord, age 18 to about 23. Well, 15 to 23. I was on fire for the Lord at age 15. For about those first six, seven years, I didn't like the Bible at all. Not at all. I mean, I loved Jesus. I would read biographies of the missionaries. J. Hudson Taylor and the different biographies. I wanted to be a missionary. I loved exploits. And I wanted to go do great things for God. But when it was me and the Bible, just raw me and the Bible in prayer. It was like, oh, it was so boring. Prayer was so boring. And the Bible was miserably boring. The only thing worse than prayer and the Bible to me in the kingdom was fasting. I mean it. I loved meetings. I could go to meetings every night and outreaches. But you get outside the meeting and the outreach is over. Me, just me and God, it was miserable. And I used to tell him, I love you. I just don't like talking to you in private. I go, I do love you. I can't make sense of it. If he would have whispered in my ear, I'm 57 now. If he would have told me when I was 20. If he would have said, you're going to lead IHOP one day. I tell you, I would have been so depressed, I would have just quit. I would have thought 24 hours of prayer and Bible, horrifying. That would have been prison. That would not have been like, oh, glory to God. I would have went, oh, can I fast and pray to get out of this going? No, that's funny, but I'm dead serious. The Bible was miserable to me. I told the Lord, if you could write this thing, maybe one more edition and kind of clean it up and get it a little bit more easy to read. I said, a lot of us read it. Maybe one more run through the editing process. I imagined 1 Corinthians 1, seven steps to prayer. 1 Corinthians 2, seven steps to answering problems. 1 Corinthians 3, seven steps to money. 1 Corinthians 4, how to do ministry. I said, lay the thing out. I said, we can run with it. He did not take my advice. But the shock of my life, and this is not a joke, the shock of my life, I kept reading it, and it was so boring and confusing. It actually, somewhere in my 20s, somewhere in those early, mid-20s, it turned, and I began to enjoy it. I was shocked. I couldn't believe I liked the Bible. And then I could actually start talking to God and feel His presence. I go, whoa. I go, Lord, this could really get fun if this keeps going. Paragraph B, here's the passage where Judas' betrayal, look what he says in John 13. Jesus was troubled. He was hurting over this. Verse 22, the other guys were perplexed. Nobody could guess it was Judas. They gave him the money bag because they trusted him. They said, of the 12, he's the most trustworthy. He got the money bag because he deserved to have it in their mind. Verse 23, there's old John leaning on Jesus' heart. He's there. I mean, here's this son of thunder. This is a man's man. This is not some kind of wimpy guy. This is a son of thunder. He goes, I love him, and I'm not ashamed of it. He's leaning there. And they're all so troubled that Jesus is so hurting. He's troubled. Verse 24, Peter says, motions. This tender moment. Motion. He doesn't say, hey, John, come here, because Jesus is observably moved. He's hurting. I can imagine the room screaming. What? Ask him. You ask him, Peter. He'll tell you. He tells you everything. Beloved, I want to be a person like that. Paragraph C, how do we receive the secrets? Mary of Bethany. Mary of Bethany never had a public ministry. Never. You never hear of Mary preaching anywhere. Nothing. She never shows up in the book of Acts. But she moved his heart by the hunger she had for his heart. And she made the good choice. When I think of reading the word, I don't think of reading the word to prove anything to God or to get God to love me. I think of reading the word to enhance the dialogue, the conversation. Yes, I read the word sometimes to prepare a message. That's work. That could be work. I read the word to understand things for practical reasons. And there could be work in laboring to understand the word. But I read the word a lot of the time because I just want the dialogue to continue with the one that I love. You're not earning anything by reading the word. You're enriching the dialogue. When a man and a woman get married, they don't consider their conversation time earning anything. Like some people say, well, if you read the Bible, you're earning God's love. I go, no, it's the dialogue between the hearts of two people that love each other. There's no earning in that. I want to talk to him more fluidly. I want to hear what he's saying. Top of page 4. Well, let's look at John 9. Three events. Let's take literally a minute for each event. They're very simple. Three events in John chapter 9 show you how messed up John was on the early days. He was a son of thunder in the natural, negatively. And the reason I want to share these three events, they're one after the other. The Holy Spirit gives us a snapshot into this man's heart. And the message is this. If he can change his emotions, so can you. But you will change the same way he did by the same truths. Paragraph B. In his youth, he was preoccupied with himself. It's natural for a person to be that way. On the road to Capernaum, the disciples in Luke 9, there's three events in a row, Luke 9. They're arguing. Who's the greatest? Now, does it tell us in Luke, Luke says, I'm not going to say who was doing it. Well, Mark, paragraph 1, Mark who wrote for Peter, Peter says, Mark, tell him who was arguing. It was John arguing about it. So Mark, who writes from Peter's point of view, he's telling the exact incident. He said, by the way, it was John who was the one saying, I want to be the greatest. Now, here's what the greatest means. Catch this. Jesus. I mean, to be the greatest in this context, I want to be over everyone forever. That's what that meant. I know you like me, Jesus. Could I be over everyone forever? If you're at Jesus' right hand, I mean, you have the place, the greatest realm of authority a human can have under Jesus in eternity. Look at this, verse 41, the ten were mad. Even Judas was bugged by that. I mean, Judas said, you just got a wrong spirit, John. I mean, when Judas is troubled by you having a wrong spirit, you're in trouble. You want to be over everyone forever? He likes me. Why not? Paragraph two, it's a couple weeks later, the drama unfolds. The mother of John goes to John, Jesus, can my boys be over everyone forever? Well, honey, I told them on the road, no. She goes, yeah, but I see how you and John, I mean, he's special to you. Come on. Little Jewish mom pressing in. Come on, rabbi, my boys. Jesus says no, in essence. So John tries it, sends his mom. The bizarre thing is at the last supper, he's at his right hand leaning. He goes, I'm here. I can imagine Peter going, what are you doing? He said no. He goes, I'm here. You got rebuked. I don't care. I know he loves me. I'm next to him at his right hand. The guy wouldn't let go of this. Paragraph C, well, after he got the no about not being the main guy, the very next verse, paragraph C, John said, Jesus, there's these guys casting out devils. We stopped him. Don't worry, because they're not under us. They're not in our denomination. They're not under our ministry. Don't worry, Jesus, we stopped him. So Jesus says, okay, so the boy has a demon, right? He's suffering, yes. A guy you don't know cast the demon out in my name so he's not suffering, right? You rebuke the man that did it because he's not under you. Yeah, yeah, I'll bring them all under, don't worry. No, John, let people cast demons out in my name. They don't have to be under you, John. Well, he's not with us. He might do his own thing. That's okay. The next verse, I mean, John's on a roll bad, a bad roll. It's three in a row. Verse 51, paragraph D, John entered the village. They didn't receive him. John held the meeting. The people wouldn't come. They go, we don't buy your stuff. John goes, he's preaching. He goes, they won't come. And when they come, they wag their head no. He goes, I want to burn the city. I want to nuke the city. I mean, I want to call fire down. I want to show them they don't mess. None of them were listening to me. None of them would respond to me. Can I burn the city down? Verse 55, three times in a row, Jesus said, John, stop it. You have a bad spirit. John, you've got a bad spirit. This is the man who's known as the apostle of love. This is the man who was so transformed through these three things. Paragraph F, summary. We have a vision to go deep in the spirit. I want to be a son of thunder. That's what we're going to pray in a moment. I want to be a son of thunder. Male or female, meaning I want to be somebody that the love of God thunders in me from God and from me by the spirit back to him. I want to be a man of the spirit and the realm of the love of God. But we've got to make it our vision. This isn't going to chase you down and take you over against your will. This is for the people who can't live without it. Some guy goes, oh, that's a great message. I don't want this to be a great message. I want people to shift their vision and the way they see their future and line it up with this. I'm not looking for a, well, that was a good message. I mean, that's cool, but that's not what I'm interested in. I'm interested in a number of you making a shift about the way you dream, that your dream life is different. I don't mean your dream life when you fall asleep. I'm talking about your dream life, your daydream life. Instead of getting this, that, and the other, you're dreaming of the anointing of being closer to him. That's what you daydream about. Paragraph G, here's our confession. Very simple. Jesus, you feel about me like the Father feels about you. It's very simple. I'm your beloved. I'm your favorite. You delighted me, even in my weakness. I mean, change the words, but these are the things we say to him. We all know what it means to say, Lord, anoint me, give me direction, and give me stuff, which is good. I like those prayers. I pray those all the time. Anoint me, give me direction, and give me stuff. But we have more to say than give me stuff. Make my ministry powerful, of course, for your glory. Let's talk to him about us. I'm your beloved. You love me like the Father loves you. I lean on your heart. That's my new confession that some of you will say. I'm the one that leans on his heart. That's who I am from now on. That's not all I do. I mean, John led great revivals, wrote the books of the Bible, did amazing things. But above everything, his signature verse was he leaned on God's heart. And here's my other confession. I'm committed to receiving, to feeding on your word, to catch the secrets of your heart. This is how John signed off. He never told his accomplishments, and he had so many to tell. Beloved, this is how the Lord wants to mark a son of thunder. Whether male or female, old or young, the Spirit wants to mark us tonight. Amen. Let's stand. I'm going to ask the circuit riders. You're done. Two weeks, you're done. You're on your way to go back. I would like you to come and line up on these lines here. But if you'll stand on the lines. I don't know if we have room. But we go to the side, too. Pretend like there's lines over there. And maybe, Pablo, let's move those chairs even right now so we can get a few more lines there. Because there's too many of them, which is a good problem. Andy and Brian, Daniel, just whoever. Come on up here. Misty, if you're back there, she's backstage. Come on up here. We want to bless you. We just want to commission you to go do for the next months what you've been doing the last couple of weeks. Yeah. Let's grab microphones. Wes. Yeah, just grab the mics. Come on up here, and we'll see what happens. Come on over here. Oh, you guys come over here. Let's ask the Lord. I just want you to close your eyes for a moment, just so you're not distracted. That's all that's about. Now, we don't have much room to get in there, but we're going to sneak in there somehow. I'm going to ask anybody in the room that wants to come and pray for these folks. Again, we're going to have a jam. How do we do this? Over there. Yeah, over there. We got lots of room over there. But don't get too close. So we have anyone in the room that wants to come. We want to lay hands on every one of these. We want everyone prayed for by at least two people. This is kind of an ascending commissioning. Can about 30 of you go over that side? There's a whole bunch over there. We can move a couple of rows of chairs back as well, maybe, just to make a bit more space. Pat, can we just maybe move two or three rows of chairs off? Just those on the back row, just take a couple of chairs, move them, stack them on top of each other. Let's go three chairs rows back, okay? The people up here in the back row, just turn around and move three rows. Stack them on top of each other. They'll stack neatly. Get a little more room. We want to take a minute. We want to ask the Lord to mark you. And I have the IHOPU students, the freshmen, the 240 or whatever that are here. We're going to pray for you. We get you for a whole semester, year, maybe four years. So we're going to do this many times. I'm so grateful for our IHOPU students, our freshmen. I mean, are you excited, Daniel? This is so exciting, 250 new ones. Freshman class. If you're going to help us pray, just if those who are standing waiting to pray, just make a little aisle so we can get the people through to the front. If you're coming to pray, just push your way through a little bit. Okay, let's stand in front of the people you're praying for. So we're just going to do this for a little while, so we'll just kind of move around some. And those on the circuit riders, you can become the prayer team in a few minutes after you've been prayed for a couple times. Because the Holy Spirit gives more when the church prays for the church. He'll give more if we'll lay hands on each other. He'll give more. So here's your confession. Lord, I'm the disciple whom the Lord loves. That's who I am. I'm that guy. I'm that girl. That's who I am. Lord, you are my exceeding great reward. You are my reward, not even the anointing in ministry. You are my exceeding great reward, more than my money or ministry or my favor. Lord, I lean on your heart. That's a definitive choice. I will spend all of my days leaning on your heart as I go forth in ministry. I want to know your secrets. Nobody can pray that prayer for you. That has to be you, the Holy Spirit. I ask you, mark hearts. Mark hearts right now, tonight. Jesus, here I am, Lord, your favored one. Here I am, your favored one, Lord. What are you thinking? Lord, I ask you to mark hearts in the Spirit. Lord, we commission them to go forth and do the works of the kingdom. Lord, release the fire of your Spirit. Hey, Wes. What are you thinking? What are you thinking? I'm out of your heart. I'm out of your heart. I'm out of you. I'm out of your heart. Jesus, here I am, your favored one. Jesus, Lord, release your glory even now. Jesus, here I am, your favored one. Sons of thunder in the Spirit. The Lord is marking many of you as sons of thunder tonight. You will thunder in the love of God. This is who you are. This is what you do. Jesus, I'm out of your heart. I'm out of your heart. Jesus, I'm out of your heart. I'm out of you. This is who I am. What are you thinking? What are you thinking? Jesus, release the seal of love upon our hearts. Release the fire of our hearts. Release your hearts with fire, Lord. Baptize our hearts with the fire of your love. Won't you sing this? Let me share the love right now, Lord. You show us how, Jesus. I'm the chosen of your heart. Jesus, through the burning cup, raise the fire in all the land. Jesus, you're golden, you're rare. Lord, you tell me it's worth it. You're worth it, Lord. Release the spirit of love. Let us feel you, Lord. Come on, Jesus. Release the spirit of love. Let us feel you. His desire is for me. Come on, lovers. His desire is for me. I have removed the veil. Draw near, even in your weakness, says the Lord. Cancel sin for you to draw near. I have made a way. Draw near to me, my beloved. Enter into my rest. Receive my love, says the Lord. to receive it. You know that you need it. It's time to receive it. You need it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. It's time to receive it. 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