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- 22. The Hidden Woman (Part 1)
22. the Hidden Woman (Part 1)
Denny Kenaston

Denny G. Kenaston (1949 - 2012). American pastor, author, and Anabaptist preacher born in Clay Center, Kansas. Raised in a nominal Christian home, he embraced the 1960s counterculture, engaging in drugs and alcohol until a radical conversion in 1972. With his wife, Jackie, married in 1973, he moved to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, co-founding Charity Christian Fellowship in 1982, where he served as an elder. Kenaston authored The Pursuit of the Godly Seed (2004), emphasizing biblical family life, and delivered thousands of sermons, including the influential The Godly Home series, distributed globally on cassette tapes. His preaching called for repentance, holiness, and simple living, drawing from Anabaptist and revivalist traditions. They raised eight children—Rebekah, Daniel, Elisabeth, Samuel, Hannah, Esther, Joshua, and David—on a farm, integrating homeschooling and faith. Kenaston traveled widely, planting churches and speaking at conferences, impacting thousands with his vision for godly families
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Sermon Summary
This sermon focuses on the importance of reverence and support that women, particularly wives, provide to their husbands. It emphasizes the power of a hidden woman who plays a crucial role in supporting and encouraging her husband, drawing examples from biblical figures and historical contexts. The speaker highlights the impact of reverence, submission, observation, honor, preference, love, admiration, and support in strengthening a man's leadership and character.
Sermon Transcription
Greetings, my sisters, in Jesus Christ's name. This morning, I'm so glad the Lord led me early this morning to ask you to come and sit up here in the front. Somehow I sense by the Spirit of God on my heart that I'm talking to the most important group in this whole thing that we're talking about all week long. I know I've been talking to the men all week and that's because I've been going by what the Bible says. But somehow I think this morning that I'm talking to the most important group that makes this whole thing happen right, right now. God bless you, sisters. I want to speak this morning about the hidden woman. I'm sure you expected that. It will be both sessions. So there won't be a change in the title. Proverbs 31 verse 10 says, it's like a call, it's like a cry out of the heart of God. Not just a cry out of the heart of a man. It's the cry out of the heart of God. Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies. There is a warfare that is raging for God and his kingdom. And for the souls of men and for our families. There are strategies in this war, dear sisters, that Satan does not want us to find out. He knows if we find them, they will be his doom. This powerful woman mentioned in Proverbs 31 is one of those strategies. There's no doubt about it. Her effect on the outcome of this war is staggering. Satan knows that. And he also knows woman in her own weaknesses. He knows very well how to deceive her. Just like he did in the garden. It seems that he has again come to her with a questioning spirit, a seducing spirit, saying, yea, hath God said? She, today's modern woman, like Eve of old, has again been convinced to take a bite out of the new fruit. Not realizing that it is the old fruit with the same old curse hidden in it. The way it looked pleasant to her eyes, she was assured of an exalted position and wisdom she never knew before. And she took the bite. Oh, the confusion that has come by the choices that she has made to leave her supportive role as a wife and a mother and seek a career in this world. The devastating results only eternity will know. My desire this morning, dear sisters, is to enlighten you and inspire you and activate you in such a way that you will never feel again like you are just a woman. You are a very important part of God's plan. In many ways, it could be you are more powerful even than man's place in this whole thing with greater rewards. We cannot figure out God's economy. We can't understand how God works. We just do what he says, amen. We are not supposed to try to figure it all out. We just do what he says. I was thinking about all that the fathers have heard all this week. And I'm sure that many of them feel overwhelmed by all that I have given to them. And I've given it to them because God gave it to them out of this book. If ever that man needed a dear wife to stand beside him and say, I'm here. I'm with you. I'm behind you. I'll help you make it all happen. It's now. It's now, dear sisters. Come. Come, you hidden women. Come, you virtuous woman. Come, you supportive wife. Come, you powerful woman. Come out of the shadows and stand beside your man. He needs your help like never before. Put your hand in his hand and say, I'm with you. The role of a godly woman is a paradox. It doesn't make sense. That's the way paradoxes are, by the way, you know. The way up is down. That doesn't make any sense. You want to be great? Be a servant. That doesn't make sense in our natural mind. The role of a woman is a paradox. The role of a Christian woman is supportive. It's hidden and many times unknown to others. Yet, her power and her influence often exceeds that of a man who is in public. Remember, dear Susanna Wesley. Consider this morning, dear sisters, the New Testament path to greatness that Jesus taught. Greatness comes as we live the life of a servant and give ourselves away in hidden ways. Jesus gave the example of washing someone's feet and said, this is greatness. Sisters, this morning, did you ever consider the life of an angel? Their life is hidden most of the time. They never are seen. Most of the time, people don't even know that they did anything. God gets all the glory from these magnificent heavenly creatures. They are concealed from human view. Yet, they do a myriad of different tasks. Think about them for a moment, sisters. An accident is about to happen. They are on the scene, yet invisible. They grab the steering wheel and guide the car to safety. When the car stops and we know that we have been spared, we bow our heads and thank God for caring for us. Not a word to the angel. Not a word to the angel. Yet, he was the one who did it all. Oh, purify our motives, dear Lord, and give us eternal eyes that serve as under the Lord like the angels do. Someday, it'll all come clear. It'll all come clear, I'm telling you. What about the life of Joshua in the Bible? 42 years he served Moses faithfully. Very little is mentioned about him until Moses died. Do you think Moses could have served God the way he did if he didn't have Joshua to serve him and support him? No way. He couldn't have done it. Yet, there he was. Joshua, the servant of Moses. That was his name. Joshua, the servant of Moses. Every military man knows that if you don't have a solid support unit working behind the scenes, you will not be able to win the war. This is a good way to describe the role of a sister. In fact, in a battle, if a soldier doesn't have a secluded unit of support in place, he won't even go out on the battlefield. He won't do it. He would be a fool. So, God's ordained purpose for women, dear sisters, is for the man. It is for the man. You are the warrior's support unit. That is God's ordained place for you. This purpose is clearly revealed in Genesis chapter 2, verse 18 and verse 22. God said, God said, eternal, omnipotent, all-powerful, all-wise God, He said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him and help her meet for him just exactly what he needs. If I can give my paraphrase in there. One, you will come alongside and help him. Consider Eve's perspective this morning, my sisters. Consider her perspective. She was not and then she was. Put yourself in Eve's place for just a moment. Put yourself in her place. All of a sudden, you are. And I imagine when she opened up her eyes, she looked into the face of the God who made her. And there was probably a question on her face. What is this? Who am I? What am I? What am I for? And God instructed her probably before he took her to the man. The Bible says God made her and then took her to the man. Eve, I am your God, Eve. I made you. I took you out of that man over there that's asleep. And I made you because he needs you. I made you for him, Eve. You understand? You be his helper. Then she took her. Then God took her and brought her to the man. Do you think Eve had any question in her mind? What she was about? What she is here for? I don't think so. Not at all. It is all very clear when we look at scriptures like this. What your purpose is, dear sisters. It's very clear. Reading in Proverbs 31 again. Verse 10, 11 and 12. God says who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. When we read these verses above, we see a picture of a beautiful woman whose life is all wrapped up in being a helpmate to her husband. Her heart, his heart safely trusts in her. He doesn't have a worry. He knows she will never leave him. Her commitment to him is sure. He has confidence in her. He knows she will be his loving, supportive wife all the days of her life. The scripture says she will be the mother of the children all the days of her life. The scripture says we see a woman whose heart's desire is to live for her husband and please him. She will do him good and not evil. How long till death do us parts? If I can put it in our modern terms. He can count on her and trust her with his money. He knows what her responses will be in the thick and thin of life. He knows she will guide the home according to his heart when he's away. This is one valuable woman pictured here in these verses. A priceless jewel and a crown placed on the top of her husband's head. According to Proverbs chapter 12. Dear sisters, this is the foundation stone that must be laid. If you're going to have a godly home, this foundation stone must be laid. If you're going to have a godly home, this is God's revealed purpose for woman. Plain and simple and to the point. You will never see godly children that you are longing for if you cannot or will not nestle down and hide yourself in this beautiful purpose for which you were made. You will never see it. There is a hidden source of strength that charges the mental and emotional batteries of a man when he has a woman like this. I promise you. I guarantee you. It may surprise some this statement that I'm going to make. Your primary purpose is not to raise children. Now, I know that may be hard to understand because you're very busy raising children. But if we go back to God's heart and God's original intent, God did not say out of his mouth, I'm going to make a woman so we can have children upon the earth. God did not say that. God said it is not good for the man to be alone. I'm going to make a helper meet for him. Your primary purpose is for your husband not to raise the children. Although you are busy about doing that, I want to encourage you. Do not lose sight of your husband. He is the reason you are here. If you're going to slack, slack a bit on the children. Don't slack on your husband. Many wives lose their focus as time goes on through busy demands of motherhood, sometimes through strained relationship with a husband, sometimes by listening to the seducing spirits that are in this world, a woman loses sight of what she's really here for, and she will easily just throw her whole life into her children. You know, it's like, okay, I can't figure this husband out. I can't quite get along with him. Forget about him. I'm going to go raise my children. It won't come out right, my dear sister. It won't come out right, I promise you. You are here for your husband. Imagine just for a moment with me, sisters. Just for a moment, you are on your deathbed. You are dying. You know you're dying. It's all over. Maybe you said goodbye to your children. You said goodbye to your husband, and you know this is it, and you're gone. Off you go. As you enter into the glories of heaven, God stops you along the way and says, wait a minute, my sister, my child, your work is not finished on earth. You need to go back. Your husband, he needs you. He needs your love. He needs your support. He needs you to stand beside him. He needs you. You must go back and serve your husband. I'm not going to let you into heaven right now. And all of a sudden, you wake up again, and you hear, first of all, the faint voice of your husband beside the bed, crying, saying, oh God, please, please God, get me my wife. I need my wife. I don't know if I'm going to make it without her. And you hear the voice of your husband saying those words, and you remember the voice of God as you were entering into the portals of heaven saying, my child, go back and serve your husband. What will you do? What will you do, my sister? You will arise. You will love and serve your husband all the days of your life like never you did before. Why? Because God spoke to you face to face and gave you your commission all over again and said, this is what I want you to do. Now, there is an American proverb which is often made in the context of history. It goes like this. Behind every great man is a great woman. This is a true statement. However, I feel it needs to be sanctified a bit. But it is a true statement. Woman is a powerful creature. I'm not sure if you realize how powerful you are for the good or for the bad, but you are a powerful creature. And I believe that Satan has been lying to you, even to you with all the light that you have from the word of God at your disposal. Satan has been lying to you. However, in the secular sense, this statement, this little proverb often refers to a strong woman motivating and pushing her husband to achieve. And yea, many times in history, you can track the great men in history, secular history, and you can find one of those strong kind of women behind them. It shows the power of a woman. But there is, in the biblical sense, a more powerful, influential woman than these that we find in secular history who push their husbands to greatness. God who made man, God who made man knows the best way to stir him on to achieve. The biblical pattern in this is reverence. It is reverence, support, prayer, and encouragement. This is the biblical pattern for greatness. When a woman does this, oh my, who knows what a man can do. So I would like to sanctify this proverb, behind every great man is a great woman. And say it this way, behind every great man is a hidden woman. A hidden woman. She's there. She's like the angel. She's not out front. She's not there pushing him out the door, but she's there. Her influence is powerful. It's behind the scenes. She's an encourager. She's a blesser. She's the one who strengthens him and gives him courage in so many situations. There are things that happen inside of a man when his wife believes in him and honors him. I'm telling you, there are things that happen inside of a man when a wife does that. When I think of a hidden woman, I think of the illustration of J. Frank Norris, who was a Baptist preacher who lived back in, I think, 1930, something like that. He was a powerful man, a powerful, influential Baptist preacher. He pastored two churches at the same time. One in Fort Worth, Texas, and one in Detroit, Michigan. Flew back and forth. One week in this church, the next week in this church, flew back and forth. That was in the 50s. But in the 30s, he was just a young preacher, failing, struggling, had many, many needs in his life. No power in his life. No unction upon him. No souls were getting saved. His church wasn't growing, and he was a discouraged man. And in his heart, he was saying, I'm going to quit. I'm just going to quit. Somehow, his dear wife sensed that he was struggling. She sensed that there was need there. And instead of sitting him down and telling him what a dud he was, and instead of sitting him down and saying, you know, your sermon was pretty dry this morning. Maybe you need to spend some more time in prayer. This dear lady, J. Frank Norris's wife, instead, she decided, I'm going to fast and pray for my husband. She set aside three days. And that dear lady sought the face of God for three days for her husband in fasting and prayer. He was away at meetings. She didn't know that in his heart, these were the last meetings that he was ever going to preach. He said in his heart, this is it. I'm a flop. I'm not, I can't do this thing. So I'm just going to quit. I'll do these meetings because I said I would. And after that, I'm done. Well, on the last night of those meetings, that man got up into the pulpit. And all of a sudden, something came over him that he had never sensed before. And the unction of the Holy Ghost came upon that man. And he began to preach like he never preached before. And the most hardened sinner in the whole community was sitting in the back row of that church that night. And he came down the aisle weeping and repented and got right with God. And somebody else was there and saw it. And they came. And before he knew what was happening, pandemonium broke out in the whole place. And revival broke out. And everybody was thrilled. And this man was absolutely transformed. He got on the telephone the next day and called his wife and said, Honey, you won't believe what's going on. What happened last night? He begins to tell the story. And the dear lady, like one of those hidden angels, just stood there on the phone and said, Oh, praise God. Isn't God good? Isn't God good? And he hung up the phone. Behind every great man, there is a hidden woman. Sisters, a hidden woman who knows her place, who knows the power of her place, is not intimidated by the position of her place because she understands the hidden mysteries of the Word of God. Behind every great man, there is a hidden woman. D.L. Moody had his Emma who traveled with him teaching the children on the road and setting up housekeeping dozens and dozens of times in his evangelistic ministry. According to him, she was one of the most stabilizing influences in his life. She was so full of grace and kindness, her example slowly turned the great evangelist into a compassionate winner of many souls. Who's gonna get the glory someday? Robert Moffat had his Mary who sacrificially established his household in a mud hut surrounded by a jungle. Her faith in God and her confidence in Robert became a continual source of encouragement to him. This was in 1820 and pioneer missionary life was very difficult, but it didn't matter to her. She aided her husband and together they established one of the most prosperous mission stations for hundreds of miles around. John Bunyan had his Elizabeth who stood beside him in loyal support while he was locked up in jail for 12 years. She cared for his five children, one of them being blind, visited him in jail faithfully. She never tempted him to compromise so that he could come home. Only eternity revealed the place that she played in writing Pilgrim's Progress. Adoniram Judson had his Anne, the first of his three missionary wives and the most famous one. They were pioneer missionaries in Burma. Together they endured many hardships to plant the first church in Burma. Wife, mother, translator and servant to her husband while he lied in prison for about two years. It is hard for us to imagine the role of a missionary wife. Their husbands faced so many hardships in the work that the smiling face of a believing wife is priceless. Amen, Daniel. It's priceless. Oh, the power of a support unit in the midst of the war. I think about this Got Me Home series and how the war is absolutely raging over the giving of these sermons. I tell you what, oh, the power of my support unit. I cannot explain all the ways in which that powerful support unit is holding me up. The other evening, the battle was raging and people don't know this except a few that we've been praying with through these days. But the battle was raging and I was in the middle of a hot prayer meeting and I mean men and women were crying out to God with fervency. The place was hot in prayer but my wife couldn't get in the room for the press of the crowd and she wasn't there. And God said to me, get up, go find your wife and have your wife pray for you. And I went and found my dear wife and I got on my knees in my little study and my dear wife laid her hands on me and heaven came down upon me. God cleared my voice so I could preach that night. I broke and wept like a baby and the heaven just opened up over me when my wife prayed for me. All those prayer warriors down there couldn't break through the clouds that were over me but one sweet wife's prayer opened heaven over my heart. Many times women write me letters. You know, they hear the tapes and they say, oh brother Denny, I want this. I hear what you're saying. I want this. How can I help my husband? He's not tuned in to the responsibilities of all these things. How can I help my husband? I want to take some time and answer that question. How can you help your husband? He's not tuned in like he ought to be. And I want to quickly say before we go any further, if you want to change your husband, that's probably a selfish motive. And sometimes ladies do write me letters and I can sense, I read between the lines, that's really what they're after. They're just sick of this guy and the way he is and could you please tell me how I can get him changed? No, I cannot tell you how you can get him changed. But if you want to know how you can be an encouragement to that man in the way that he needs to go, that I can tell you. God does not bless sanctified manipulation, sisters. Mark that one down. He will not bless sanctified manipulation. I want to show you how you can encourage your husband that God will make him a godly man. Let's look at the power of reverence. Reverence is one of the most powerful, most motivating, most effectual qualities in human relationships there are that flows from a woman to a man or even from a man to a man. It is one of the most powerful. So, let's look at the word reverence. I want to give you a shocking definition out of Webster's 1828 Dictionary, which is a bit shocking to the modern mind. The first word, which is always the most definitive when you look in a dictionary, the first word for reverence is this word, fear, fear. Why? That causes the modern woman to cry out in opposition. Fear? I'm not going to fear my husband. That's the first word in Webster's 1828 Dictionary. Maybe even the dictionaries are getting watered down. Amen? Fear mingled with respect and affection. There it is. Now, I'm going to go down through a list here and look at some of the definitions of the word reverence. What I've done is drawn out words out of the amplified paraphrase of the Bible. And then I went to the Webster's 1828 Dictionary and looked up each one of those words. So, we're going to get the pure stuff this morning, sisters. How can I reverence my husband? Ephesians 5.22 says, and see that the wife reverence her husband. How can I reverence my husband? This is what the word reverence means, sisters. Number one, it means to submit to him. That word means to yield or surrender to the power, will, or authority of another. The word is deeper than the word obey. The command to obey can be done as an outward thing. The word submit requires an inward attitude of surrender with obedience. And that's what God is after. Submit to him. Next, notice him. It means to observe with the eye and consider with the mind. The act by which we gain knowledge of somebody, in other words, real interested focus. Dear sisters, turn your eyes upon your husband with attentive interest in what he is doing. He should feel your interested eyes looking at him when he is around. Notice him. Regard him. It means to give a focused attention to consider seriously that view of mind that springs from high value. Regard him. This is so important, sisters, in reference to when your husband speaks. You want him to be a leader? Quiet down. Look attentively with a genuine value in what he says. He will talk more. He will lead more. He will rise up to his responsibilities and do. The next one, honor him. To honor is any expression of respect or high estimation by words or actions. To adorn, ornament or decorate. It is the same word used when referring to honoring the king. Dear sisters, adorn your husbands with expressions of respect by word and action. You will never be sorry that you did. Prefer him. The word prefer means to bear or carry in advance. To consider one to be better than you are. In practical language, it means to place his desires and his opinions and his ideas ahead of yours. You can't imagine the confidence that this builds in a man when he senses from the depth of your heart that you are more interested in what he thinks than what you think. Man, let him go. He'll be so fired up to do what he's supposed to do. If he senses that coming out of your heart, prefer him, venerate him. To give him much worth, to respect and to worship. And I know we're not supposed to worship our husbands. Only God deserves this. But when a man senses that his wife values him and what he does and what he says, this affects his leadership ability tremendously. Tremendously. You can't imagine. Esteem him. To prize, to set a high value on someone, to have a high opinion of someone, to give a high place of honor. That's esteem. Defer to him. It means to yield to another's opinion or judgment because of respect and honor. This is a most beautiful quality of character for a wife to have. She can display this confidence builder often as there are lots of opinions in marriage, aren't there? Lots of them. Defer to him. The next one. Praise him. To prize or value with words. To lift or raise another with words of value and gratitude. This word is a good practical outward expression of many of the attitudes that I've already listed here. Praise is fuel on the fire of your husband's heart. Don't doubt it, sisters. That guy will do things you never dreamed he would do. Love him. It means to love him. This word means a prompt, free, willing desire for somebody. A desire for somebody to be pleased with and regard with strong affection, ardent fellowship springing from high esteem, a word of endearment. The love of a woman is without question the strongest motivation in a man's life. It will cause him to do and be way beyond what you ever thought he would do or be. And if you don't, if you question that, you just look at the love of a man for a woman who's, he's seeking her. He is desiring to marry her. Look what that fellow will go through. He'll go through anything. Don't forget that, dear sisters. He'll go through anything for her. And lastly, admire him exceedingly. Reverence means to admire him exceedingly, to hold up, to stop and behold with wonder, to regard with strong affections, a pleasant respect with wonder. That's what that word means. Ephesians 5.33 says, and see that the wife reverence her husband. Beloved sisters, in Jesus Christ, this is quite a list of words to consider. There are three ways that you can respond to this list that you've just been given. Let me give them to you. Number one, you can be careless and indifferent and just pass it off with little interest. Number two, you can be overwhelmed by it and just give up in discouragement. And lastly, number three, you can be stirred and motivated and convicted by it and rise up in faith with a will to do as God has said. And I pray that you will do the latter with a vision and with purpose in your heart and your life from this day forward. All Bible principles are effectual. And by that, I mean, they have an effect. They're just like taking a rock and dropping it into a pond full of water. Out goes the ripples from the rock that goes in. All Bible principles are effectual. They have an influence. It is the law of sowing and reaping. We cannot cancel this process. If you choose to sow reverence upon your husband's life, you will receive a bountiful harvest. I guarantee it, sisters. The opposite is also true. We cannot get away from this principle. You either do or you don't. And you will get the fruit of your do or your don't either way. God Almighty, the Creator, has set these laws in motion and they do move according to our choices. When we choose to follow a Bible principle, we will reap the benefits from it. Now, many times because of laws of sowing and reaping, you may not reap a benefit tomorrow. But that's how God's principles are. Just keep on sowing, just keep on sowing, just keep on sowing and all the beautiful things that will come. The beautiful things that will come. Let's look just for a moment here at the negative side. Your husband can be known in the gates, that's out of Proverbs 31, or sitting in the corner. Which kind of a husband do you want? Let me tell you how you can make your husband a weak and a timid man. One who just sits in the corner and doesn't talk very much. One who is afraid to lead out in conversation or afraid to make decisions. One who will always look to you to see what you think before he speaks. God help us. Here's what you do. You set yourself to disregard what he says. Don't notice him when he's around. When he comes home from work, don't greet him. Disregard what he says when he is talking. Look the other way or bring up some other subject when he's speaking his words. Dishonor him, belittle him as you walk through life together. Don't fulfill his desires that he has for his home. Push him away. Tell him to get out of your way. Find fault with him. Let him feel your silent disapproval all the time. And I guarantee you in five years, you'll have a husband who'll sit in the corner or you'll have a fight on your hands, one or the other. Let's bow for prayer. God, our Father, we love you, Lord. Oh, how beautiful are the principles of your word, Lord. Oh, how powerful are these dear ladies that are sitting in the front of this auditorium today. God, I pray, will you hover over this meeting with tender care. Oh, God, with tender care, I pray in Jesus Christ's name. Amen.
22. the Hidden Woman (Part 1)
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Denny G. Kenaston (1949 - 2012). American pastor, author, and Anabaptist preacher born in Clay Center, Kansas. Raised in a nominal Christian home, he embraced the 1960s counterculture, engaging in drugs and alcohol until a radical conversion in 1972. With his wife, Jackie, married in 1973, he moved to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, co-founding Charity Christian Fellowship in 1982, where he served as an elder. Kenaston authored The Pursuit of the Godly Seed (2004), emphasizing biblical family life, and delivered thousands of sermons, including the influential The Godly Home series, distributed globally on cassette tapes. His preaching called for repentance, holiness, and simple living, drawing from Anabaptist and revivalist traditions. They raised eight children—Rebekah, Daniel, Elisabeth, Samuel, Hannah, Esther, Joshua, and David—on a farm, integrating homeschooling and faith. Kenaston traveled widely, planting churches and speaking at conferences, impacting thousands with his vision for godly families