In this sermon, the speaker shares a personal story about a couple who defused a potential argument by showing love and kindness to one another. He then transitions to another story about a young boy who realizes the value of education and regrets not knowing more about God earlier in life. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of finding happiness in marriage through a relationship with Christ. He concludes by discussing the need to respond to mistreatment with grace and love, in order to win others over to Christ.

Thank you so much, I'm very grateful that we can be together. Can we bow in prayer, please? Father, in mercy on all of us, come wash me in the blood of Jesus, thy Son, the blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son, that cleanses us from all sin. Probably the most vital verse in the entire Bible. We come now in mercy, anointed, filled with the Holy Spirit, protect us from our enemy Satan and his demons. And by the Holy Spirit, visit our hearts, each one, even the hardest heart, the most closed mind, the most dead mind and heart toward God. Come and break that heart tonight. In Jesus Christ's name, Amen. I'm going to read a verse or two that you all know, but I wonder if you've taken it to your heart. The first verse that I'd like to read is found in Matthew 19. From verse 5, Jesus was speaking and said, But for this cause, for this cause only, shall a man leave his father and mother, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. I love that word cleave. If you make a study of this word, and I don't want to go into a study of every word tonight, you will find this word is not just stay, it's to hold on in a way that you won't lose. There's a cleaving here. There's a holding. You can lose. Don't lose her. You hold on to this woman that's given her life to you to protect. Cleave is a very important word, and a very vital word. For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. They, twain, shall be one flesh. They too shall be one. Now this is beyond my comprehension, and yours. A lot of what in the Bible is stated by God is beyond our comprehension. God doesn't explain it. We just have to accept it. That's salvation. They too shall be one. You and I can never ever work that out, but in God's eyes you're no longer two people. In God's eyes, at marriage, you're one person. It is so beyond our comprehension, but God looks upon you. It is so sacred in God's eyes that you are no longer two people, you are one. This is literally what Christ is saying, though it's beyond our comprehension. They, twain, they too shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, no more two, but one flesh, Christ says. One person. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. What God has put together, let not man put asunder. Don't undo what God has done. What God has done at marriage. In His eyes. Let not man put asunder. I'd like to go on in these passages, but I'm not going to. The only other passage, this is the beginning, that I'd like us to look at and consider is Malachi, the last chapter. You'll find that was the first book in the New Testament that Christ said these words about marriage, how sacred it is. Now the last book, the Old Testament, says this in chapter 2. The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth. God witnessed your marriage. God witnessed, He was there. Your commitment to marriage. Against whom thou hast dealt treacherously. Now that word isn't unfaithfully. That isn't even badly. God sees something treacherous if a man is not faithful to his wife. The word treacherous is volumes more than a man who isn't good, isn't perfect, and isn't even faithful. Treacherous is the worst thing God could say, but He looks upon a man who does not treat his wife as God intended him to, as treacherous. It's a staggering word in the Old Testament that God brings before us. Yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant. God says, did not he make one? Didn't he make a covenant before God? When he was married to this woman who now God says you're dealing with treacherously. You're treacherous. You made a covenant. God witnessed that covenant. Did not he make a covenant? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. There was something right with his spirit when he stood before God and married that woman. There was something sacred in his heart when he made this covenant. Wherefore one, why did God bring about the covenant of marriage? This is the only time in the whole Bible that God actually answers this question. What is God saying? Why did God make a covenant in marriage? That he might seek godly seed, godly offspring from your union. From this union of marriage God expects godly children. That is why it's so sacred. This is what God says is the covenant of marriage. It's a staggering thought but that he might seek from this union of yours godly children. Therefore take heed to your spirit. Let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel says that he hateth putting away. He hateth divorce. He hateth. Divorce. Do you know why in its context? Because there is very little hope that godly children will come from a man who is treacherous to his wife. Unfaithful. Unloving. Unholy. Who undoes what God sanctified, what God consecrates. Don't desecrate. Because the whole purpose in the broad picture of this holy book as to why he brought about the covenant of a sacredness in marriage is godly children. That is staggering. I was in America a few years ago and I read the New York Times. I don't really read the newspapers by the way. We've never had a television. I don't know anything of a radio. There's no time. So just to know that the Third World War hasn't started I buy a newspaper to look at the headlines. It normally takes me two to three minutes. And my son said, why did you buy it daddy if you didn't read it? I just read the headlines in case the Third World War started. I don't like to read the small writing. I ask God's protection through anything defiling. You've got to know and I ask God the Holy Ghost to just let me read what I need to. And save all the strength of these weak eyes for this. Not for all the rubbish the devil can produce of evil in this world. So I bought the New York Times. And I quickly glanced. And I saw on the front page of the New York Times voted as the best newspaper in the entire world. There's no newspaper that has ever been able to compare with it in the world. It is so good as far as quality of reporting, even the paper they use. It is quite something. On the front page was this headline that a survey was made in America in every school. The government insisted that a survey be given to every single child in government schools and private schools. Every child at school had to sit of all the standards from the youngest to the oldest. And they had to fill in the survey, each one. Now they ask questions. You see, America loves to ask questions. They love to make surveys. They like to know exactly what's happening in every single situation. So the questions they asked, one of them, what do you fear most in this world? What is your greatest fear in life? So they put a few examples. Terrorism, where Islamic fanatics, extremists, will blow up children, anyone. If they don't get their way, they'll blow you up. Even if you travel, where buildings can come down. In the most of warfare, no one knows how to handle a starter. Is it the fear of terrorism that could happen at any point, at any moment to anyone, even children? And they think they're serving God, doing it, to get their way, to get their point across. Is it terrorism? So these questions were placed. The answer staggered America. It staggered the United States government. It staggered the education department. The answer of between 80 to 90 percent of every child, and they didn't have time to compare notes and say what is your answer, was this. Their greatest fear in life, between 80 and 90 percent of the American children at school, is that their parents would divorce. The greatest fear of nearly 100 percent of the children across America is that their parents would either separate or divorce. They lived in that fear. That was staggering. My son, Noel, my eldest boy, went to a very good school. We weren't able to afford it, so other people, because we're missionaries, helped us in the most wonderful way to go to one of the loveliest schools, traditional schools with high values. Strict, trust me, no playing the fool there. Traditionally one of the best schools in the world, voted as one of the best schools in the entire world. So we were privileged to go to a very affluent school, our son went. And one day he came back from school. He was close to ending his schooling, and he looked really perturbed. And he said, Daddy, Mommy, I want to tell you something that happened at school today that was terrible. So we sat down and we braced ourselves. What's coming? He said, Daddy, all the school was divided into their different standards, levels, or what do you say, grades, or years. And it wasn't in the great hall, it was in the different halls, the different sections, and the head of that standard sat us all down in our standard, probably about 300 boys in that standard. And he said, our education department and our government has asked that I ask you all questions as we gathered here. And so I need a show of hands, he said. And so we asked various questions. One of the questions was, how many of you boys have parents that are divorced or separated? Have separated or divorced? Daddy's hands just went up all over. And the man stood up in shock. He said, wait, put your hands down. Let me reword the question. How many of you have parents who have not divorced, who have not separated, who are still living together? And Daddy, I was the only boy in the whole standard. He said, stand up, boy. Everyone turned and looked at me, of the whole standard, in dead silence. After a while of silence, this man looking at me, he said, sit, no, sit. And he went on. And through the day, Daddy, as I walked between the classrooms and in the playgrounds, as I walked, they just stopped speaking, the groups of boys. They didn't say a word to each other. They stopped and looked at me as I walked past. Everywhere I walk today. For one reason, Daddy, I have a father and mother that stayed together. None of them have that. Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Mommy. You stayed together. That shocked me, gravely. You see, the great tragedy today is the salt of the earth, the light of the world, the example that God can keep things, beginning from the pulpits of the evangelical churches throughout the world, divorce, the elders, the pews, the evangelicals throughout the world, their marriages, what is intended when Christ looked at us and said, ye are the light of the world, ye are the salt of the earth, the protection. If you want to take the context, then he says, literally, if the salt of loss is savour, wherewith shall it be shunted? Do you know what Christ is actually saying? What will happen to the world? He's asking the church. Don't say, Church of Jesus Christ, it'll never happen. It's happened. Don't say. Christ asked a question 2,000 years ago. We need to ask ourselves, will we ever make a stop, a stand, or will there be nothing left, where the church can be the light of the world, the example, the message, you can survive as Christians, because God tells you to. The tragedy today is they're living together, they don't want to marry anymore. The masses, I read an article the other day of Britain, what percentage is married is unbelievable. It's beyond comprehension. What degree of the nation doesn't even want to marry? Marriage has become almost a death certificate to happiness, a certificate to misery, to separation, definitely bring children and then you divorce, because the bulk, worldwide, Western world, sorry, are divorced, did you know that? And I'm talking about the church, generally, worldwide, is involved in it too. It's like a death certificate to happiness. So now they don't want to live together, but no such a thing, it doesn't work, you see. Even the church can't show us. What will happen to the world? In a sense, good for nothing. Can Christ have said that about the church of Jesus Christ? Let me tell you something, if Jesus warned, it's possible. We become good for nothing. But to be cast out and to be trodden underfoot of men, that's what happened. Beginning with one aspect, just one of the many I'd like to preach on, but only to underline, marriage. We're good for nothing. Oh, I'm going to offend, aren't I? But let me tell you, I'm telling you what Jesus Christ warned will happen if the salt, the church, throws away the standard, disregards it, writes volumes to explain why it could never mean what it says, and twists and takes little half verses and forgets the nine verses surrounding to say that's what it is. Just cancel out everything, if there's any hope. Just throw away this thing of sacredness, you see. A Zulu man, a preacher in our country, a very great preacher in our country, a black Zulu man, one of the godliest men I've ever known in my life, he said to me, my son came into our home and said to his mother and father, I believe I am to be married and that God has laid it in my heart and led me to this particular girl and I want your permission to court her. I said to my son, look at me in the eyes. Listen carefully, I'm only going to say it once. I hope you and this lady realize that marriage is through death. No negotiation. You profess to know Christ, I want to tell you, full stop, no argument with this book. It is until death. Don't ever come back in this home and tell me it doesn't work. You marry and you die married. Or don't come back in this house if you change your mind. I don't want to hear it. It's to death. Now go back and discuss it with her before we talk any further. Now you may say that's a bit strong, is it? Strong to believe this? As it stands without writing volumes against it? To disregard it? All God says? I memorized many hundreds of verses and I only spoke, quoting every verse in the Bible, about marriage a few years ago. It was like devastation hit everywhere I went, every conference, across nations. A whole group of ministers stood outside of one of the largest churches in America and said this is unacceptable. We have never heard this in the pulpit. We were not in office in our pulpit. This is not what we have in our pulpit. And an old man stood forward and said with a loud voice, Listen carefully to me, you preachers. This man quoted the word of God and he didn't add another word. He said everything about marriage that God says. If you say this is not what you want in the pulpit, you are saying we will not have the Bible. We reject it. We will not have this. God's word is rejected. Don't say you are rejecting this man. He didn't say one word outside of, quote, every scripture in their context. That's in the entire Bible on marriage. They hung their heads down in shame and walked away. Every minister of that church. I often wonder if the evangelicals would be the first to crucify Jesus Christ if he stood in the pulpit and said word perfect what he said in the Sermon on the Mount of Olives. Everything he said, just as it stands. Oh forgive me, you say that could never happen. This is what happens when you preach what he says. Just watch in the evangelicals. So marriage now is looked in the world as a joke. Looked upon as something not viable. It doesn't work. A certificate too unheavy. I was preaching in a hospital, the largest hospital in southern Africa. Now they asked me to speak to all the Christian staff. Now there was a lot of people in this big hall, in the hospital and they all took who could come off from their duties whether it's doctors, nurses or anybody that was in that hospital that professed to know Jesus or want to know about Jesus. The hall was full in this hospital and I was given about an hour. Some had to leave at different times, but there they were. And after I preached they said could we have a time of questions and answers. A lot of confusion in this compromising age where no answers are given about things God says. They are not even willing to negotiate what God says. So question. This thing came up about marriage and divorce. Beginning in the pulpits. Naming some of our renowned preachers in South Africa who divorced and remarried and divorced and remarried a couple of times, but they are still preachers. So this problem of divorce in the church was being brought up and people were saying there is tremendous stress on people in the world today. And it comes into the home and the explosive situations and marriages are crumbling because of so much stress placed on all of our lives in the condition of the world. The state of the world in every aspect. The world is in such a state. So there is incredible stress and we have got to seek God to somehow survive the stress in our marriages and not let it break us up. So one young fellow, he was a doctor, he was married, his little doctor wife was sitting next to him and he stood up and said can I say something? Yes. I believe marriage does demand incredible adjustments and there is stress and there is incredible pressure on us. It is not easy to get married today even as Christians. He said, but I believe you must not give up as Christians. He said, I believe the first two years are the hardest. The first two years of marriage are terrible. Dreadful. So I looked at this fellow where he was heading but if you just survive the first two years it gets better. You just got to not give up to survive two years even though dreadful, horrible. So I said, how long have you been married? Six months. Well, his wife of course just sat there put her head down because everybody knew now it is dreadful what they are living. They are at the height of it. It must be horrible what they are going through. But he seems to have the right concept that you don't give up, ok? There is some hope at the end of this terrible thing called marriage that even Christians have to face. He got something right anyway. There was a man that a staggering thing happened. Christian, both he and his wife love the Lord but under the stress of life the adjustments demanded on marriage fighting began. Do Christians fight? Well anyway, they began to argue. But I mean real arguing it seems. And it came to the place where he was so exasperated that he suddenly when some argument was going on he got up and he said, that's it. It's finished. It's over. I've had enough. I'm leaving you. I'm leaving you. I'm not living the rest of my life like this. It's finished. No negotiation. I'm off. I'm not living like this any longer. So his wife was horrified I suppose. And he grabbed a few things in his anger and his exasperation and despair that he probably thought he needed to survive. So he grabbed a few things as he ran and opened the door, slammed the door, runs down to the car opening the vehicle to get in and go. Suddenly the door opens and it's his wife. Wait. Wait. Wait for me. I'm coming too. Well, he looks in horror and she shuts the door, locks the door and comes down to heaven. I'm coming too. But he was a bit exasperated and he says you can't come with me. That defeats the whole purpose of me leaving you. What are you talking about? I can't live with you anymore. It's over. I'm finished. I will not go on. I'm leaving you. I'm sorry. You can't do that, she says. Sorry. I won't let you do that. You see when I stood before Jesus with you I was conscious I was saying it to God till death us do part. For better, for worse. Till death. I meant it. I thought you did too. I thought you did too. I realized we have problems and I'm willing on my side she said to adjust. I'm willing to change. I'm asking God for grace to change. I'll tell you that now. I will change on my side where I can to adjust to be able to survive with you. But I will not leave you. If you go, I will find you. I will sleep at the door where I find you. But you will never ever be rid of me till I die. I want you to know that now. He was shocked. He was shaken. And he looked at her and then he began to laugh. He just burst out laughing and he laughed. Now she looked at him laughing and she began to laugh also but nervously. And then he put his arm around her. Let's go inside. And this is where the shock came. As he walked with her back to the door he said my dear for a moment you had me very worried that you wouldn't come out in time to stop me. Before I did leave you I got a bit worried that you wouldn't get out in time. Let me shock every one of you. This is going to shock you young man. You're not married but remember till you die you need to hear it before you marry, even your children. Don't forget what you're hearing today. Even in the evangelical church. Most marriages ended where they didn't have to. A heated moment. Impulsive reactions that for the rest of your life, sir, you weep. For the rest of your life, lady, I don't care what you go to, your heart will be shattered and broken and you die with a broken heart even though you're a Christian. And how did it start? An impulsive heated moment that you should never have done what you did. And you know it. I guarantee you you know it even if you know nothing else on earth. You live with it daily. You should never. I thank God. In that heated moment. Decisions that are made in heated moments are wrong decisions. Every time so be careful. The big problem is how do we overcome this thing? How do we deal with this thing as Christians about fighting? Well, I toured a great section of our country's German new Afrikaans people here. I hope you'll all come back after this morning's encounter and confrontation. Did the Afrikaans come back? Put your hands up. Yes, thank you for coming back. Anyway, I think all of you came back. But some of our country large sections are German. It all started with German missionaries. South Africa was built on missionaries. That's why so much of our history is so different to the rest of the world. But the Germans have communities all started with missions mainly to reach our blacks. And you get Berlin. I preached in Berlin, the Eastern Cape. It's not very big, but they have East Berlin and West Berlin, the railway line. Can you believe it? Anyway, the German community Stutterheim, right from East London, King Williamstown, Cunningham, not William the Third who went up his head. The Germans are there. Many parts of our country in Africa are German communities. They speak German. They have the Lutheran churches all over these big, the largest churches in many parts of our country in their communities. Well, I was touring. I have an annual tour in many parts of our country and speak to many thousands over two weeks, three weeks, sometimes a month's tour one night after the other. So I was in the home of a very wealthy German man, Stegen. What's his first name? Anyway, not Anton, Anton's brother. Manfred, thank you. Manfred Stegen, good man, godly man. Now, he has these plantations, you would call it. Oh, the most amazing trees and things and farmings that just go over the hills. Well, I was in his home and I was to preach in the church his father's father built, a Lutheran church there in that community where most of the farmers and community go to that church. So that night I had to preach there. But I stayed in his home. Now, he told me something remarkable. He told me of one of the people who work on the farm, the black workers. Historically it all started like that and their parents, parents, parents were on the same farm with their, the farmer's father and grandfather. So four generations of farming in one family. So they grew up all together. Now, one of the black ladies would work as she was required from a young girl in this big house, this massive beautiful home. And they all treated like sisters and brothers. It's amazing. They all grew up together. Now, she turned to him and she said to him, I went to a witch doctor. Now, a witch doctor is a very evil thing in our country. Don't play the fool with these things. A lot of evil, horrific evils happen to what they tell uneducated people many times. And they do the most horrific evils that these witch doctors say will cure them. It's not a good thing to go to a witch doctor, okay? They call them songomas, like a medicine, herbal medicine, but it's all witch doctory. So, I went to the witch doctor in my despair. So he said, no, you didn't. You couldn't have. You know it's evil. You know it's wrong. How could you have done that? What made you go to a witch doctor? It's evil. So, I had to. I was so desperate. You see, the fighting is so bad between my husband and me, that our children are screaming and crying and hysterical and running out into the dark. We've got to go search because we land up physically. And I can't take it any longer. And I said, I've got to get help. So I went to the witch doctor. You've got to help me. This is fighting. The children are being destroyed. I'm being destroyed. But there's such terrible fighting. It all starts all the time, every night. Is there anything you can do to help and stop the fighting? Now, the witch doctor looked at this woman and said, I have a medicine that will stop the fighting totally. You'll never have a fight in the house again. I must have this medicine. It doesn't matter what it costs. I want it. All right. So, he says, here's the bottle. And he gets the stuff and fills it up the bottle. Now he puts the prescription. He says, you've got to stick to this prescription. Don't dare go wrong. Every time you see an argument is going to start. Every time it's, you just change. Take the medicine and there won't be an argument. I'll take it. Good. Now, stick to the prescription. You take this little cup. And as soon as you see any arguing is about to start, you just take the cup of this medicine in your mouth. But don't swallow until the argument's gone. Just keep it in your mouth, you see. Oh, I do it. She says, good. So, she says to Mr. Steegan, it works. All the fighting stopped. And nothing, no explosion. No matter what happens, I see it starting. I take this. I keep it in my mouth. There's no fighting left. It's all over. It works. Now, Mr. Steegan, he's a German man, you see. They're very expressive. He says, brother, how do I tell her that it's just water? How do I tell her this? Witch doctors obviously got a very good sense of humour. I don't know what to say to her. Because she just will not accept anything but that this medicine works. Anyway, listen, Christians, you can't go around with water in your mouth all the time to avoid fighting. That isn't victory in Christianity, OK? Dear John Wesley was wonderful. Only he could have done it, by the way. They had ties those days. Now, the tie, believe it or not, as a history, it never was this. This is just showman. It's actually a waste of time. You don't need it. But a tie actually had a purpose in the beginning of history. And it all started with what's called a bow tie that held these big when all these men, even John Wesley, had all these froth things, you know, and folks here. It was just a terrible time they lived in Europe, but that's there. Don't let's argue about it. That's what they were born into. We weren't. We didn't. So, they didn't have a shirt like you and me, a sensible pair of pants and everything's needed, you see? Now, historically, tradition outside of that is nothing. You don't need it, but those days they did. Now it evolved, you see, and as it was evolving, it was changing rapidly as fashions do way back even then. And the lady comes up to Mr. John Wesley and says to him, Sir, you are a great stumbling block to the church of this nation and I never thought it would be John Wesley himself that I would say this to. You have caused many, you are causing a great stumbling block to Christians. What have I done lady? Your tie. It's worldly. It is the fashion of the world. Goodness me. Is this worldly? How? The length. It's changed. You've changed. Look, you've got the world's length. Is this worldly, the length? Wait. And he got a pair of scissors. He says, here, cut it. Cut it? What do you mean? Cut it to a spiritual length. I don't want a worldly length. Just cut it to what you think is spiritual. I'm not one of your stumbling blocks. Just do what you want to. But cut it to a spiritual length. I can't have a worldly length. Alright. Now is that spiritual? Yes. It won't stumble block any. Thank you. Now give me the scissors. Now stick out your tongue. In other words, the length was a bit worldly. Well, Wesley, of course, had a way of making a point. But you can't go cutting Christians' tongues off all the time to get victory, see? You can't go around with water all the time to get victory. What is victory? Oh, this. Now God says things in this Bible that if you're not saved, you won't accept. Unless you have a hyper-intelligent, sensitive heart from your upbringing. God says to women on three occasions be in subjection. Now the word subjection, in case you haven't ever heard it, used to be in the English dictionary. They try to get it out. No one likes the word subjection. Subjection? Even children be in subjection. Well, believe it or not, God hasn't taken that out of His Word. God said to women to be in subjection to your own husbands. Now you may say that's cruel that God said that, but let me tell you something. God loved you with a unique love in those words, lady. There's no such a thing as be in subjection just because I so-so let the man walk over you and do what he wants and you're like a slave and a servant and you just subject yourself. No, that's not what God says. The context has to be looked in the light of the rest of the Scriptures. And if there's any Scripture in the whole Bible that contradicts your interpretation of any verse or any passage or any doctrine, you're heretical. You have to stand in the light of every single Scripture and that's the only way to look at anything in the Bible including marriage. Including the word subjection. One piece is interesting. 1 Peter 3 Likewise, ye wise be in subjection to your own husbands. Now when you see the word likewise you must know that the beginning of the chapter isn't the whole book. It's just it's speaking about likewise. Like what? So you go back obviously to the context. You go back to the previous chapter to see like. And you always find in its context like Jesus. There's one standard that matters in Christianity. Christlikeness. Take that out of Christianity you're left with the most evil religion on earth. Christlikeness. So you go back to leaving us an example that he should follow his steps. He did no sin neither was guile found in his mouth. When he was reviled reviled not again. When he suffered he threatened not, but committed himself to him to others righteousness. Now that whole context of the 8 verses before, likewise. Like Jesus ye wise who when he suffered he didn't fight back. Why? He left us an example. Now he starts with the wives to be in subjection because I think God knew the men are not capable. So he's looking and honoring you and asking it of you. For marriage to be holy. He looks to woman because I think you've got more grace than a man when it comes to not having your way. So he's asking something of you that's holy but in love. Likewise ye wise be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word they also may without the word be one. By the conversation of the wives, by the life of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. His adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair of wedding or gold or putting on apparel. But let it be the hidden man of the heart even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price for after this manner in the old time the holy were in all true trust in God adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose daughters he are as long as he do well and they're not afraid with any amazement. There's no anger, no resentment. You just resign to what God asks you see. Be like her. Be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word. He's speaking about an unsaved man. A cruel man in its context who might treat you wrongly. Don't leave him! Win him! And if God says you'll win him you will. Do you know 99% of men who treat you wrongly will stop treating you wrongly if you do this. Fear comes in their heart by the way you react by the grace of God who will give you all the grace you need when you want to obey him on any level of life concerning the standard of his book. Or God mocks us telling us to live a standard if he won't give us the grace to do what? Even if a man is wrong in his context toward you. Treating you wrongly. Be like Jesus. Don't fight back. Why? To win him. Don't leave him. Win him! One thing. Subject. I'll give you the grace. I was preaching in a town one of the men here was speaking today to me that he lived for a time in is that right brother? Yes. When I was young I'm talking about 40 something years ago we had the largest movement of God in the town's history. It was so long ago but it was a wonderful movement of God and more souls were saved in that time than in the history ever before or since. Suddenly a moment came. We know why. I won't go into that. Of godly old men who said they'd been praying for 20 years daily. All in their 80's. And that's why God visited. Well, God came. But as I was preaching I was a young man full of fire. Not much wisdom. That's the trouble with young preachers. But the fire is all that matters. The little bit of wisdom you've got, so long as there's fire. Don't have a lot of wisdom without fire. You'll send people to hell. But I had a lot of fire. And in the pulpit of the young fellow I poured myself out of the little bit of wisdom I grasped or learned. I said one night about marriage my father and mother tasted hell on earth in marriage and so did we. But how God saved them. My daddy had been an alcoholic. My mother most of her life sobbed every night to sleep. We heard her and then we'd go to sleep. It was the same. Then God saved daddy as I'd never seen anyone in my entire life being saved to the degree God saved in one moment. A man. He shook the world. My daddy when God saved him. His world. Every soul on earth that knew him could never recover from the change of his life from the day he was saved. Mother God saved. One day my brother who also became a preacher and I young Christians now looked at mother and father loving each other. Now I'm not making something cheap or something sacred. They didn't know we were looking at their love and gentleness. He took my arm, my brother and tears were flowing down his face. And he said, Look Keith, look at what we could have known. All our lives if only God had saved them from the beginning. Look at what we could have known. Now I said in a sermon in Amkhamosh as a young preacher I don't believe there's happiness in a marriage apart from Christ. I don't believe you can know happiness until you mightily saved as daddy was and mother. At the end of the sermon a very elegant lady, probably the wealthiest woman in Amkhamosh, Mrs. Openshaw beautiful home, dressed like the Queen of England. You could just see here was wealth, but elegance. At the door of the church she said young man, you will be at my house tomorrow at 1pm. Do you understand? Here is the address. You're coming to have lunch with me. All right. Now you don't argue with a woman, an elegant English woman dressed like that, who says you will be at my house. That's how it is in the world. Yes, I'll be there. So I arrived for lunch. Beautiful meal. And she said, I asked you here for a reason. You see, Keith, I admire what you said last night. I sense God as I've never sensed Him before in all the meetings, but you made a mistake and I have to tell you that you don't do it again in the pulpit. You made a grave mistake in what you said about your daddy and mommy. I am so blessed that God saved them and that God gave them love and forgiveness and ability to let go of all the bitterness and the failures and love and let the past be there. That's what God can do. I respect that. And it blessed me, but you're wrong. It isn't being a Christian, Keith, that makes you happy. I know many Christians, Keith, who are miserable. I know many preachers who go through a taste of hell on earth with their wives. And they're saved. It isn't being saved that makes your marriage happy, Keith. That's not the thing. You see, Keith, when I was a young girl, there was a good-looking boy in the town. He was so good-looking, he should have gone to Hollywood. That type of good looks, you know, the girls used to melt everywhere. It was quite sickening. How the girls melted. It's him, when he comes near. Girls can do that with a good-looking man if they're unsaved. So he was the most good-looking Hollywood star, as it were, of the whole of town. And one day he looked at me. And I looked at him, the way he was looking at me, and I thought, he wants me. This perfect specimen of humanity wants me. Oh, I was elated. I was in another world. He's chosen me. All the girls would just fall flat for him. He wants me. Oh, I was happy. Well, he did want me. He pursued me. I was very flattered. In the eyes of the rest of the community, all the girls, I was the most honoured of all of them, giving him the cats of the whole community. This perfect, perfect human being was mine. We were married. And on our honeymoon, all hell broke loose. That's what she said. Wow! Within a night or two, we were fighting. Within a little while on our honeymoon, we were really in trouble. I looked at him and I thought, I can't live with this. I'm going to go through hell on earth with this man. He's not perfect. He's an animal. He's an absolute monster, this man. And I'm married now. I have to face the scar of divorce for the rest of my life and I'm still on my honeymoon. I've had enough. What am I going to do? Oh, I begin to weep. I begin to groan. I've got to face the shame in this community. I know that divorce is coming unless one of us doesn't fight back. This marriage will end in divorce within days. I looked at him and I thought, he's not going to be him. So unless I want to face the world and say I'm divorcing him for my honeymoon and is heading for that, it's going to have to be me to keep quiet. Just not answer back, just to let him trample on me in every way, no matter what demands, no matter how unreasonable, no matter how unjust, no matter how cruel. So I said, I'm going to do it. Go face divorce. And I did. As an unsafe person. Weeks went by. One night I saw him sitting and the tears were running down his face. And I walked over and said, why are you crying? And he fell on his knees. And he put his arms around me and said, I'm a monster. I'm evil. And you're good. And Keith, we never had another fight again. We never had another fight again. From that night, unsaved, totally, we'd never heard the gospel. He treated me with such love, with such care, with such tenderness. He overlooked all faults, any mistakes. He just honored me. Why, Keith? Because I did what God asks of a woman. And I was unsaved. Now listen carefully, Keith. Christians who carry this book can put a man through hell on earth and themselves until they do it. It's not being saved, Keith. It's obeying this book. Subjection, Keith, is not God's cruelty to a woman. It will win any man, unless he's a psychopath. Then a woman has to leave him. But that is very rare in this world, Keith. Later on, we became saved, my husband and I. But our marriage didn't become more beautiful. We didn't find victory as Christians in our marriage. Of course, our lives changed. But Keith, marriage was beautiful because I, as an unsaved person, did what God asks of all saved women who will not, though they're saved, even if they send their children to hell. They will not be in subjection. They'll have the last word on everything, even if they go through hell. They won't do what God said, so God in love said to them, you need to do this to win him even if he's evil. Likewise, he wives like Jesus, you see. And I have shocked you. I've seen murderous reactions. When he suffered, he threatened and committed himself. Christ-likeness, of which God will give you all the grace no matter how trying the circumstances the day you seek him with all your heart, soul, and mind. Oh, he mocks men in asking, that's the standard, even wives. By the way, the other occasions where Paul speaks and asks women to be in subjection, he asks a man to do far more than the woman. In case you think the woman, he asks a man to love his wife even as Christ loved the church. The verse after, he asks a woman on both occasions, to love your wife. A Godly love, not human, to the degree you yield it to God, this is impossible. Even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, he asks a man to be willing to die that your children will remember your whole attitude would you be willing to die for her well-being. He asks more from a man than from a woman. In case you think God's asking too much in Christianity concerning marriage, for marriage to be God glorifying and your children not to go to hell through you, through your defiance of the scriptures. It doesn't end there. Likewise, ye men, not just the woman, they have to be like Jesus, dwell with them. Now here's an interesting verse that comes back to this word cleave. Remain. It doesn't just mean stay, it don't leave them. Go to the Greek word, make a study. There's something so sacred in this word. You stay, you cleave. You hold on, you don't let go. Likewise, ye husband, dwell with them according to knowledge. Giving honour unto the wife is unto the weak abyssal. For there have been years together of the grace of life that your praise be not hindered. Likewise, ye husband, dwell with them with knowledge. Literally, using your common sense in its context written by the Holy Ghost. Through what your common sense tells you to have victory for Jesus in the house, in marriage. He's asking the husbands to do it. Dwell with them according to knowledge. Giving honour to the wife. I was in a home where an explosion happened in a very godly home. We were a few preachers, we were around this big table of a very wonderful home, but godly people. And the meal was going on, but suddenly this godly woman turned publicly against her husband and started saying things in anger. And he didn't deserve it. I mean, what he had said, I think they said women go through something at a certain age. I don't understand all that, I'm not medical. But you've got to show them grace, because you can't understand them. Don't try. It's going to happen to Jenny, they said. It hasn't happened yet. I think Jenny's different. But anyway, you're really going to need grace to understand, and you won't understand. I think this woman was going through whatever that is medically, OK? So she sat there and she declared war at the table publicly with all these preachers around the table now. And they godly, and she was godly, but here she really turned and she declared war at the table. I went, ooooh, there's a fight about to explode. You know the most horrific thing she said to him. It was like she put a gun on the table, you know, boom, I'm going to, we're having war here. A cannon, right, the cannon, there's the war. We just sat there and I, woah, what's he going to say? So we all, I was shaken. I think all of us were trembling at the way she came down on him publicly, the cruelty. Public, what does he do? We're looking through the corner of her eyes and nobody's looking up, we're so scared. What is going to happen? The war is about to break out, you know. He took her hand and he smiled and he said, darling, when was the last time I told you how beautiful you are? Well, you know, she melted. We all did by the way. What a lovely way to end an argument. The fight was gone. He defused the bomb, you know, she lit it, it was about to go off and he just, with one word, Richard Virembrand, tortured for Christ, OK? Within three months after his escape from the communist prisons, he took his shirt off in our country, in the Dutch Reformed Church in Kimden Park, I was just saved, and a hole, you could put your whole fist in, had been burned into his back to make him deny Jesus. Communism was evil. Communism wasn't brought down by Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher. They were used as instruments, but communism was finished when Virembrand told the true evils of it to the world. How they ever let him go, they can't work it out to this day. How he escaped. Virembrand walked the church up to get on his knees and when the church gets on its knees, even communism will collapse. But the church got on its knees through Virembrand, mostly, to deal with this godless regime that hated and treated Christians as such. Well, Virembrand said when he got out of prison, he didn't know whether his wife was alive, he didn't know whether his child was alive, his little boy was now a man in his twenties. His wife was old and grey, the perfectness was gone. The flawless, the wrinkled now and the grey hairs, were robbed by because he was a Christian. And he said, in marriage, marriage isn't easy, you know, for you and I to learn how to be married all over again. Hence, you've got to use your common sense. And you've got to seek God for grace. In marriage, as a Christian, he said, I used to dream of my wife's soup. And I said, darling, you must make me soup. All the years in prison, suffering, not knowing whether you were dead or alive, I thought of your soup. So my wife was making all the smell, the glorious smell of the soup that only my wife could make. So she puts it in front of me. And there was this hair. In the East, they have long hair, you know. We won't go into that. But anyway, there was this hair in his soup, long, grey and black hair. So he says, you know, there's different ways of reacting to this. I could say, ooh, throw the soup at her. What's wrong with you putting the hair in the soup? But you don't have to do that. So I said, my darling, yes, my darling, you know I love you. Yes, I know you love me. You know I love your soup. Yes, I know I love your soup. You know I love every hair in your head. Yes, but it isn't necessary to put your hair in the soup. So of course they laughed. Then he said a staggering statement. Let me tell you, Christians, 99% of the fights you have, you should have laughed about. If you husbands had just used your common sense in the way you answered through life, by the grace of God, as I did. Most of your fights are over nothing, he said. It is obnoxious if you sit and think of what you fought over. Nothing, nothing. You put those children through hell, through nothing. It was so worthless fighting about, and meaningless. But did you husbands do that? The joy of the Lord is your strength, the Bible says. Now what does that mean? God smiles at you because he is full of joy now because of you, the way you react? No. It means in its context the light of the rest of the scriptures on the same subject. God is in you. He isn't way up there smiling. You want to know why most Christians walk around looking miserable? And they do. Because of their own failure. You think it's because of wrong treatment, beginning with your husband. If you say the right things, react rightly, God's joy will well up in your heart because he is in you. But if you say the wrong things, if you fail with the lips, the grief of God in your heart, it's his grief. You see, when you're saved, you have a grief of the smallest failure. That another man doesn't grieve about without the Holy Spirit in him, even if he did evil wickedness. It's the Holy Spirit's grief, it's the joy of the Lord in you. It wells up. I was in a meeting where every preacher in the town was there, even the Roman Catholic. He didn't want to be left out because the whole town was there. And afterwards all the preachers were asked to sit with me around this big table in this big home. And one of the most famous preachers in our country was there, and I didn't even know he was in the meeting. And he stood up as I put my hand out to him, and he blustered me, and he screwed everything I preached. Well, I only quoted scriptures the whole night, by the way. But it missed on what he thought was the vitals of this book. And he was so condemned. You dare to preach something you missed the point! So everybody was just shocked, standing up, walking away from the table. And God just said to me, be quiet. In my heart, no voice. Thank God I've never heard voices, then you've got trouble. Just my heart, simply be quiet. And I said, give me grace, God. And I sat there, and peace flooded me. And the more he screamed, the vein sticking up in his neck, was banging, and he was screaming in anger at what I preached, though it was only scriptures that he didn't like to preach, you see. So, I sat there, and eventually I looked at him, and such joy was welling out of me that actually I could have burst out praising. And he saw it. How do you fight with a man that's not fighting back? And you're giving your best to be horrible to him. Suddenly, halfway through a sentence, he stopped speaking, as he looked at my face, aglow with peace and joy. He sat back, fell back in the chair, and his mouth was open. He'd never seen a Christian in his life that didn't fight back, especially a concerning doctor. And then I changed the subject. And that shocked him. He gasped, literally. I didn't even say anything or anything he said about me. I changed the subject, by his wife that I had written in newspapers had suffered some tragedy. He's not even going to touch on everything I said. He's changed the subject. I said, look, I've got to go to bed, because I've got a long way to travel, I've got to get up early, and I've got to spend my time with God. And I don't know about you preachers, but I have to spend my time with God, who I can't sleep. My consul won't let me, so I'm going to bed. So please forgive me. He stood. The way he stood made everybody stand. And the respect in his eyes. And as I walked, the respect in everybody's eyes is that some of them just touched me. I didn't ask for that, to be exalted. I walked down the passage, though. Before I got to the room, joy flooded my heart. To such a degree, it was like flowing. You see, it was the joy of the Lord, who dwells in you by the Holy Spirit, welling up, because if I had fought back, I would have walked back to that room, maybe winning the argument doctrinally, but losing respect, because I wasn't like Jesus. I don't say that in times, you've got to make a stand strongly like Luther. You see, my wife and I, when we were married, they gave us a wonderful wedding. Missionaries from all over South Africa, priests from across Southern Africa. And they put us in a wonderful hotel for the first night with chandeliers and all. The first thing we did, I said, Jenny, before anything, as we walked in that room and saw this privilege God had given us as missionaries, I said, let's read the Bible. We got on our knees. I'd like to read where I left off. I'd like to start marriage, carrying on with the next... So I opened up, not knowing what was coming by the way. And it isn't this Bible, it was a bigger one. I started at the top of the page where I put my paper in, where to carry on now for my chapters for the night, every night, and my chapters in the morning. So I started reading. I read this verse on our marriage, on our knees. The first thing we did when we were alone was open the Bible. And we read this in Jeremiah 32 10. I will make an everlasting covenant with them that I will not turn away to do them good. 39. Sorry. I will give them one heart and one way that they may fear me for the good of them and their children after them. I will give them one heart, one way that they may fear me for the good of them and their children It's in the Old Testament. But there's nothing historical in the Old Testament. If you look upon it as history, you're just a liberal academic. It's vital, the heart of God, every word he said to them, he had us in mind, otherwise it wouldn't be in the Bible to communicate his heart. I know the context, but I also know this. God the Holy Ghost told me and my wife that that night. And he did. I took it from God, that verse.