In this sermon, the speaker reflects on a personal experience of going against his conscience and the consequences that followed. He describes the moment when his father confronted him after he had gotten into trouble, and the shame he felt. The speaker questions why he made the choices he did, attributing it to a weak moment of wanting to fit in with a crowd. The sermon emphasizes God's horror at seeing someone enslaved to sin and the destructive nature of going against one's conscience.

...and to seek Jesus Christ with all our hearts. And I believe these conventions, these conferences, are so owned of God in this time we're living in, that I wonder if we can't attribute it to the reason of our survival, of no compromise, to come as part like this and seek God. I'm going to help him. Thank you. Thank you, dear Lord, for this time of prayer, of praise, of singing, of testimony, and of learning. We bless Thee for all those who, this morning, already have shared their ministry, their life, with us. And we ask Thee to honour them and protect them. Thank Thee again for dear Harold and Debbie, and what their vision is, that with soul conscious is born of God, and owned of God, and honoured by God. Protect them very specially, in the most wonderful way, from all the powers of darkness. And continue to mightily use this advance, these separated times of seeking God, that Thou so already honoured, Lord, O Lord, could it not be the beginning of what America is waiting for? We God's people of all denominations, as God's people, are wanting God at any cost. O God, do come to America. Do put the devil to shame in this land. That it will be a shameful thing to do his things, as this nation seeks God again. O do it. Bless us in this time, in Thy mercy, in Jesus Christ's name. We ask these things. Amen. A number of years ago, on the streets of Johannesburg, in South Africa, I, as a young teenage boy, opened my life to evil, to sin. I went against my God-given conscience, and opened my life to that which I knew was wrong. My father, when I was thirteen years old, left our hometown of Durban, a beautiful town, and took us to Johannesburg, the largest city in South Africa. And we moved there because my father wanted a higher position and more money, a better salary, better living conditions. And I lost, at that moment of my life, the protection of my childhood friends. I would never have regarded them as protection, unless I, later on in life, had to look back and wonder, Where did I go wrong? Why did I go wrong? I suddenly found myself, for the first time that I ever knew in life, without one friend. And I had to look, now, for new friends. The others had, as little boys, just grown up with me. Now, I was looking for a whole new group of friends. And what shocked me was everyone I turned to, without exception. As I turned, things were held out to me that I never dreamed humans were capable of doing. I was so shaken, I literally turned and ran from some people. Things I didn't know humans were capable of doing. If I had heard of some of these things, I never dreamed they would be held out to me. With such force, everywhere I turned. And I was walking around bewildered after a few months in that city of Johannesburg, bewildered. But I had a God-given conscience. God is in His integrity toward every single man on this earth. Even to children who have never heard the gospel, who have never seen a Bible or a church. God in His integrity and goodness gave every single one of us a conscience to protect us. To protect us from ever touching, or tasting, or handling things that could destroy our lives. Things that if you go against your conscience just once, just once, even if you're a young boy or girl, you will suffer the repercussions until the day you die. I remember a friend I finally made, befriended him. And one day he turned to me and held out this drug. And he told me of the sensation he went through physically, mentally, emotionally under the influence of this drug. And he, what shocked me was the way he held it out to me. There was something in the way he held out that didn't seem to hesitate to think that I could say no. And once again something in me cried out, no, touch not, taste not, handle not. I didn't know that verse was in the Bible. There are things your conscience, you don't need lectures on morality, on drugs, you know. God gave you a conscience. I said to him, we don't need that to enjoy life. That could destroy our lives. Look at what happened to her. There was this young girl who I knew he knew and I knew, who was lying in a terrible state through that drug. I said, that'll happen to us. It'll happen to us. Why take something like that if that could happen to us? And he started to laugh. A young teenage boy. And he said, Keith, I'm not a fool. Only a fool would become a drug addict. Not everybody that takes drugs becomes addicted. Not everybody that takes alcohol becomes an alcoholic. I watched your father, Keith. He drinks alcohol. It's exactly the same. It's this generation. Drink. There's no different reason. It's just a legalized drug, alcohol. There's no other reason, no difference. It's that generation's drugs. Your father takes it. Drink. But he's not an alcoholic. Only a fool would become an alcoholic. I'm not a fool. What he was trying to say in his limited understanding in his childhood way was what the older people would say, moderation. Anything's fine. They'll point to scriptures. Moderation. Well, a few months later his mother phoned me and she was weeping on the phone, a goodly woman. She said, Keith, did you know my boy's taking drugs? And I said, yes, I do know. Oh, why didn't you tell me? Do you know what type of drugs he's taking, Keith? Why didn't you warn me? She found him in the garage behind the house. What he did to himself physically under the influence of the drug, I cannot tell you from the pulpit of God. Your mind wouldn't be able to accept it. He was taken to hospital. They somehow got him through. He survived somehow. He was put into a drug addict's home. And he was there a long, long time. I want to jump now years and years later to when I was saved. Years after that moment. Years when I went and sought him out to tell him about God. There he was, married. A man now, his own children. And do you know that after all those years of not touching that drug once again, he was still suffering the concussions of going against your God-given conscience. I medically, psychologically, cannot tell you how things work out of a man's system. I have no answers there how long it takes and to what degree he went. But I've learned something. You suffer till the day you die. If you go against your conscience, not only drugs, morally. There's a moral code. Your conscience crosses it and you suffer till the day you die. Anything. Don't pinpoint some destructive thing and say that's it, that I'm talking about. No. I wish I could stand here today and tell you I never went against my God-given conscience. Oh, God that I could say that. I would do anything. But I did go against my conscience. I thought back numbers of times, why? What made me? What made me touch what I knew? My whole system cried, I don't dare touch. What made me do that? You know, the only honest explanation I have to my own heart is that it was in one weak moment in a crowd where I just suddenly as a child feared that I was going to be left out of this crowd. And that's the only reason. There was nothing wicked in me. There was nothing of a rebelliousness in me to rebel against society, to rebel against decency. The only reason I can honestly think that I touched that first time was a fear that suddenly in one weak moment in an atmosphere I didn't even know how I'd gotten to that atmosphere. And for fear of being left out of this crowd, of losing this crowd, I reached out and I did something that my whole system cried out, you dare not, don't, when I did it. I touched. And then the greatest shock that ever happened to me in my entire life from the day I was born to this day, happened right then. I suddenly found something in me I'd never known before. I had to touch again. It was not now because of fear of being left out of the crowd. This shook me. It was not now an atmosphere I was caught in. There was no reason. I found myself being drawn to touch and I couldn't understand this. Everything in me was so confused. There was a wall going on in me that I'd never known before. But I went back. I suddenly became conscious that I was a servant of sin. Now I would never ever have identified, understood, or agreed with the Lord Jesus' words of a man being a servant of sin. I wouldn't have understood until that moment of my life. I could never have understood those words. But now I became conscious though I didn't even know that was in the Bible, that I was enslaved. There was something now that had taken a hold of me, making me do something I didn't want to do each time but drew me to it. The Lord Jesus, God in His holiness, has put words in this Bible sometimes that we can hardly dare read from the pulpit of God for fear of offense. But to show His horror at what a servant of sin is going against your conscience to the degree that you're enslaved to something that you can't, you don't want to do but you go back no matter what it's going to do, no matter what it's going to cost. You fight but you go back. God says in His horror of seeing a man become this as a dog returneth to its vomit so a fool returns to his folly. God uses those words. The horror you and I feel as we look at this that we can hardly speak about without being repulsed, hardly think about is the horror God says He looks at a man who does this, a dog going to that which his body is repulsed, which his system rejected, it's bad for him. He goes and he licks it up again, he takes it back and you and I can't look at that without repulsiveness. Horror! God says as a dog returns to its vomit so a fool returns to his folly. The horror that takes hold of God the repulse that's in God's sight towards what a man is doing when he goes back to that which is going to destroy him, to that which he knows is going to destroy him. Don't you believe a man wants to be destroyed through sin? No man wants that. Don't you tell me he chose that. Don't tell me a man wants to come home and reeking with drink, now it's uncontrollable because he touched and see his children despise him, his wife hating him, see his marriage being destroyed, losing the things he treasures most in life. Don't tell me a man wants to come home and his wife knows where he's been in unfaithfulness and he wants to lose those treasures of children as he sees hatred starting to come in their eyes, contempt, as he sees himself losing the things he treasures most in life. Don't tell me he wants it. It's a horrific thing for God to even look when a man went against his conscience and now he's enslaved. Don't tell me a man wants to lose his honour, his health, his family, his work. How many hundreds of thousands, even their work, they lose through their sin. Don't tell me a man wants to become destroyed. Oh, a servant of sin is so obnoxious when you finally look at what it's done, what it's done going against your conscience, even a boy. I remember the fears that gripped my heart the first time Daddy came when I was in deep trouble. My father was such a good man that there is no words that I could ever find fitting to tell you of how good my father was as an unsaved man. When my father walked in that room when he had been called after I had been in terrible trouble that first time when he looked at me every man in that room fled weeping when they looked at the man that walked through that door and his face when he looked at his son. I looked at the shame on my father's face and he said, why? Oh, how many times I heard Daddy say those words to me but that first time I can't tell you what happened in my mind when I looked at my father that I loved and he looked at me with such shame and said, why? I didn't know why but I know there's everything in my being cried out, I will never do this to him again I will never do this to my father again and I meant it but do you know days later I was back doing worse things do you know the horror of being a servant of sin when the things, the people you love more than breath you destroy because you can't stop all the complexes the fears, the lying awake in the nights the pain that started coming and I didn't know why the worry as I saw Daddy starting to drink and I knew it was me the darling of his life he couldn't help, so he turned to drink and I came home in the nights some nights late and he stood there looking and I wondered, oh, have they got hold of him, have they told him does he know what I've been doing and I cowered, I couldn't look him in the eyes anymore and he'd say, boy, why can't you look me in the eyes how can you come home to Daddy at this time of the night there was this young fellow called Desmond I don't remember his surname, it was so many years ago he had this big thick black hair, you know, the days of blow cream I don't know if you were ever around then and there he was I never knew anyone more uninhibited than him it was fearful to be in his presence though he was a teenager you didn't know what this fellow was capable of I don't even know what I was doing with him that day but there we were, he was up to wickedness and he stood and he looked at me and he shouted I'll never forget the way he shouted he didn't care who was listening in shock of what we were doing he shouted unashamedly, isn't it wonderful to be so wild to be so free and something in me cried out at that moment no, no, it's not wonderful I'm not free I wouldn't be here with you, oh no, I didn't say those words to him but my heart cried out at him, with him I don't know what I'm doing here with you I don't know why I am here I don't want to be here I'm not free my confused mind just crying out it's not wonderful where I'm at and there was the moment I went away from the crowd one day you know with the crowd you're so different had you told anyone of the crowd I was with that I was in the state I'm in no one would have believed you I laughed the loudest but one day I got away from the crowd and I got in this cold, dark, empty building in Johannesburg and I stood there, a young teenager and I began to cry and I remember for a few hours standing there sobbing until I don't know how I found another sob that would come from my being my whole head became numb from all the sobbing and for the hours I stood there in the cold sobbing at the consciousness of my helplessness the consciousness of my helplessness against these things one day I heard of a friend a close friend who killed himself good looking fellow the girls loved him he was so popular but he did a terrible thing and I'll never forget the shock it took hold of me I'd heard of other people who I knew had killed themselves we sat with this young girl with blonde hair she looked like an angel she was so beautiful and she was laughing that's what I will always remember for eternity she was laughing no one knew the state she was in the next thing she did was get to the top of the building and throw herself off I couldn't grasp what was going on how can someone laugh? don't go by what you see outwardly, friend, in this world the one laughing the loudest pray for them if they're in sin I had been shocked but not like when I heard of this young fellow that shook me that I went into absolute fear because when I heard of what he did I identified I'd never done that before I identified I understood how someone who hadn't had much of life could want to end it who couldn't face another day of it didn't want another day of it I understood why and that filled me with fear I remember standing at a church you find this hard to believe an evangelical church I didn't even know it at that time all I knew is they said things that I found out later were called testimonies in this youth meeting I used to change churches as I changed girlfriends but this particular youth group they had these little stories and things and we all walked out and this little group that I was started mocking and blaspheming and about the things that had been said in there there was this incredible undermining and we were standing outside of this church and I remember laughing but suddenly as I stood there laughing outside of that youth meeting something died I remember something that never happened in my life happening that night something just died in me it was so horrific that I just turned while they were still laughing I stopped laughing I just turned and I walked into the dock and I got in the main street and I got into the center of the road and I just walked and my mind was in a state I could never put into words of self-aberration and I felt the gush of the wind of the lorries and the buses as they missed me by inches just swerving hooting the cars my eyes were like a blur with all the lights and something in me just cried out but then God stopped me now I know it was God I didn't that night but I know now God couldn't let me die you see he hadn't presented to me in a way my darkened mind could grasp the gospel what he wanted of me what he could do no matter how destroyed you are and he wanted to do that and God sent I believe with all my heart one fellow followed me from that youth group looked at what was happening and he ran screaming and pulled me off the road a split second before this lorry would have crushed me to my death oh there were repercussions from that that I don't want to go in the fears that filled Mommy and Daddy's heart Daddy had worked himself to the top of his profession in his country in our country and because of his influence his position he got me work that nobody deserved my age or the amount of money that was offered to me double salary if I just get a pass let alone any little courses they would send me on promising me positions that's your position to a person who deserved nothing because all these unsaved businessmen good, good men saw my father destroyed and made through what was happening in my life and their love for Daddy made them try and take hold of me everyone trying to do something to put purpose in this young destroyed life oh but it didn't work did a while after all this I just remember walking away to the streets of Johannesburg just walking those streets day after day week after week month after month how I stayed alive I don't know doing things with low people low, low things things I'm too scared to think about let alone speak about I have preached in many, many pulpits across my country and other countries and I've heard people testifying normally a shocking testimony some more shocking than mine and I've trembled as I've seen people explaining their sin talking about it some with smiles some laughing and I've said God I'm so ashamed I don't name any of the sins I'm too ashamed to think of them let alone tell you or explain to you I talk about the repercussions of sin the consequences I'm too ashamed to name my sins to you too ashamed I don't know how they do oh I did things I'm too scared to think about let alone speak about from the pulpit of God and defile you with some testimony don't let me do that God and then Jesus Christ came this holy perfect Savior God Father Friend He came to me in my truth He came to me I wasn't seeking Him He sought me none of us in my home were seeking God I wish we had been I wish I could say we were seeking God no He sought us He's so full of love He came through my brother that's how He came the first one in my home Dudley three years older than me so different from me He's like Daddy I wish I could say I was like my father but Dudley was not me he was just in his early twenties just barely in his twenties he had his own business businesses everything he touched just turned to gold like Daddy just had something he was the sovereign champion of his sport he had a sports club represented his country even in the years where we weren't allowed to be represented because of our apartheid he was so good they just couldn't exclude him everybody's idea of a successful young man but he wasn't if God hadn't come then Dudley would have been totally destroyed I know that now having heard his testimony God came to my brother God used the girl He does things like that you know my brother wouldn't have heard the gospel believe me but he fell in love with a girl they were so beautiful he couldn't help himself she was really utterly beautiful as a person well the difference about this girl was she belonged to a home that wasn't just Christians who talked of being born again she came from a home who were the pillars of God's people in their whole community loved, revered by so many across our land as the godliest of the godly in the church of Christ throughout our land oh God brought my brother into this home and they panicked when they saw this smoking drinking, full of themselves fellow you know and their daughter was in love with him so in love that something was suddenly found out she wasn't saved she was a Sunday school teacher in an evangelical church she could tell you how to get saved but she wasn't saved it was all up here it hadn't gone down here and they suddenly saw that she went through love into the world with this man she loved oh they tried to get Dudley to come to church but he told them the first time don't ever ever expect it of me I will never ever be religious I respect you I will never ever come to your church don't ever ask me again I will never become religious he told them straight well they aren't the sort of people that put you against the wall and preach hellfire so they didn't but we must do they got on their knees and they got others on their knees the godly of the godly across our land started praying for this man who'd come into this godly home and taken his girl into the world now who they thought was saved and there were prayers going up oh then the godliest man I've ever known in my life Will Macfarlane he returned to our country his homeland in his old age to the mission he had started with which I serve God in now and they took him in his old age to the old Presbyterian church up in Boxburg outside of Johannesburg which is the home church of this Anne's mother and father and there was this week of meetings where the other churches all took part too different ministers leading each night and God broke through in a way that he hadn't broke through for over thirty years the last time this man had stood in that pulpit God had come to Boxburg and never since then again God came and they were coming soul seeking God Christians breaking weeping aloud under this holy man of God's ministry and they came to Dudley and said Dudley you've told us you'll never come to church but this man's different something's happening here Dudley we don't want you to miss please we'll never ask you again just come this once and if you don't like him we'll never ask you again but don't miss what's happening please Dudley thought to himself I want to marry their daughter I better show them I'm not as wicked as they think I am so he went along to church imagine going to church for that reason oh seeking after God amazing how God gets people to church there he was determined to switch off to all this fanaticism determined to take no word but you cannot switch off when God has an appointed time you have the right to say yes or no if I didn't believe that I'd get out of the pulpit now but you cannot switch off when God wants to tell you what he wants of you and all the powers of hell are simply pushed aside and God brings you to one of the greatest men of God that ever lived as Dudley suddenly was sitting under his ministry oh the devil must have tried to keep my brother away but even Satan couldn't when God said I want this boy to hear it he heard for the first time in his life a man speaking of heaven and hell a man weeping as he spoke of hell the only time he'd ever heard in his life the word hell was in blasphemous jokes but here a man in the pulpit of God he had never heard a man in his life in the pulpit of God use the word hell this man believed it here this man was weeping over it the man preaching heaven the joy the living the beauty the glory of heaven and the only way to escape hell and gain heaven is through the cross of Christ come say to God nothing in my hands I bring simply through the cross I cling that's all God waits for until he sees you do that he cannot save you but if he sees you do that you will be saved from hell to heaven and you know you're saved come if you know God brought you here you know it isn't a man speaking it's a voice that only God and no human voice ever penetrated come if God's calling you come Dudley got up and he walked out stunned like a drunk man tripping falling weeping he got out Anne looked at him began to weep as she saw the state of him what is wrong Dudley Anne God spoke to me God has never spoken to me in my life God spoke to me when that man said if God's spoken to you you come out I should have gone out Anne amazing you know God spoke to you Anne looked at Dudley and said Dudley it's not too late go back in and for some reason that night my brother was the only one for the first time in his life he pushed against the crowd weeping fell on his knees this godly man put his arm around him and cried out to God with him to save this boy's soul and God saved his soul oh I was in Durban I don't know to this day how I even got there all I do know is my uncles found me in the street ran up to me shook me wailing not weeping your mother and father don't know if you are dead or alive prove yourself a man for God's sake you go home to them do you know what you do I said alright I'll go home again he put me on a train they didn't tell my parents I was coming home for fear I wouldn't make it I climbed the lift out to my mother's firm they couldn't find her so they called on the intercoms I said don't you say who it is please I just stood there and waited eventually this little lady came down the passage and I shook she had turned snow white she'd been so beautiful her face was just wrinkles and her eyes swollen she was spinning like a little battered bird and I said oh God I've done this to my mother look what I've done to my mother and I shook I trembled and I wept she said to me Keith something's happened to your brother she couldn't say he's born again say something's happened to your brother he said if we ever find you we must just get you to him please come with me now before you go again thank me mummy we went to daddy first he saw me and he ran and he fell oh and they all lifted him up and I I said daddy you'd never take me home if you hear of the things I've done I want to tell you that now and he said my boy I don't care what I hear about you I forgive you now because you came back to daddy oh a father's a wonderful thing and then I went to Dudley and we hadn't got on much Dudley and I he blamed me for daddy's drinking forgive me and we got to his firm and he ran we could hardly sit at the table together without fighting Dudley and I daddy didn't quite know what to do with the two of us but when I saw my brother's eyes I knew something's happened to my brother he looked at me with love he put his arms around me he said mummy oh you must please forgive me and he said Keith all you need is Jesus all you need is to become a Christian I've become a Christian Keith all you need you need nothing else but Christ you need to become a Christian I said but what that brother in South Africa I am a Christian we're all Christians in this country we're born Christians what are you talking about he said we're not Christians you we never knew Keith somehow I don't know how it's possible we never heard the truth but I want to tell you the truth Keith come off the streets where mummy and daddy stay come off the streets come work with me I know God's going to do for you what he's done for me oh as I watched this life a thirst came in me I can understand the thirst in Naomi and Ruth you know those words thy God shall be my God just looking at her life that's all made this woman say thy God shall be I was crying I'm dying God shall be my God thy people shall be my people these people who didn't need dirt and food to laugh and they laughed more sincerely and heartily than anybody I'd ever heard in my life I wanted these people to be my people oh he took me along to his church the one night I didn't listen so much to the message it was a good message on the cross but I knew before I walked in that church I'm coming to God tonight to my brother's life afterwards I waited for the appeal but the minister didn't make an appeal and that shook me because I heard there's going to be an appeal so I went to the door and I said to him they introduced me to him I said sir I came here I came here to let God do for me what he did to Dudley please help me he said my boy I I won't pray with you unless you count the cost it's going to cost you to be saved my boy where I come from in Scotland he said it costs this thing of all grace it's free you know it's not true there's that aspect but it costs you more than anything it will cost you in life in this world to be saved it's going to cost you your sin all your sin you don't come for forgiveness you come for deliverance then you come to Jesus to be forgiven and what are you letting him deliver you from it's going to cost you every friend you've got on earth Keith I guarantee you that written across your life my God that every human on earth that comes near you will see written across your life clearly will be these words finished with the world by the way you dress by the way you speak not now by the company you keep from this day to the day you die will be written across your life finished with the world by the places you go finished with the world unless you're willing for that you're wasting your time you're wasting my time you're wasting God's time go count the cost in my home while I say goodbye to these people I went to his home I waited there were a group of people in the room with us that night and we sat in silence and I thought it's no cost for me I don't care if I lose every friend I've got and light up God could just do this for me he didn't ask me when he came in if you counted the cost he said get on your knees he opened the book he read a few the prodigal son and I remember daddy falling and daddy saying I forgive you that you've just come back I said is that how God is? and he said pray I prayed all the wrong things I'm sure I stuttered I stammered I sweated I never prayed with other people but God does not look at the words that proceed out of the mouth He looks at the heart from which they come and God saw this heart truly believing in the blood of Christ for forgiveness that is in power of Christ for deliverance and I came in repentance for God to deliver me from what I was repenting from and I stood up I didn't feel a thing and I thought I should feel different I thought that's strange I don't feel any different and I was quite shaken I feel the same and he seemed to understand and read my thoughts this little minister this Scottish man who died just after that God just kept him for me to give me a foundation that I had to have to survive he said Keith it doesn't matter if you don't feel anything I looked at him how does this man read my mind? doesn't matter if you don't feel another feeling for the day you die boy don't go by feelings and he put the old King James book in my hand this is all that matters now soak yourself in the Bible this is your source of survival the devil's greatest priority till the day you die from this devil to keep you from this book but if you make sure you never enter into a day in your life again without soaking yourself unhurried time with God and his presence in this book you will never go back to sin you will never go back to the world Keith I guarantee you this is your source of survival go home now start now I went home it was about 11 o'clock in the night I opened he said started John read John now you need to read that as a safe person look what God does keep a pen beside you every verse that God speaks and holds out and says this is you this is yours so me mark it don't use it for the dates for the time and I had the pen and I opened oh forgive me and I started reading get through John he says then Matthew to Revelation get the New Testament three times then start in the Old and the New three of the Old three of the New never less often more every day of your life but never neglect the New for the Old so I read through I started I put all in the beginning was the Word the Word is with God the Word was God the same was in the beginning with God all things are made by him without him was I read I read and I thought to myself I've never understood this all these and those you know but I thought I better read so I read and I read and I read and then I show tears and I stand and I read it wasn't the these and the those it was me the natural man can't receive the things of God but when the Holy Spirit is in you the letter killed the spirit given life suddenly this book was alive it wasn't condemning me it was like it was like God speaking confirming to me I'm his child it was just a cry out everything just to me saying I'm you're mine that was to me the witness of the Spirit through the word of God speaking to me I knew I knew God was saying to me and I knew it wasn't me taking a chance I knew I was born of God oh I went to work the next day tea time came I didn't want to speak I just went with the word of God more do you know what happened that night that first night I looked up the sun was shining I read the whole night I hadn't slept I had to go to work I didn't feel tired got to work tea time came I just fled few more chapters lunch time few more chapters thirty years later nothing kept me from the word of God no one no one kept me from the word of God I didn't realize it the holy book says newborn babes desire to see a milk of the word that ye may grow thereby I was growing I was growing man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God you can't stay alive without it somebody said how do I know I'm saved I said can you live without the word of God one day and you're not saved or something is radically wrong you have to read it to survive it's breath and you're saved you can't live by bread alone by food you'll die without it you cannot live without the word of God spiritually when you're born of God and the moment you're born as newborn babes you've got to desire the sincere milk of the word that ye may grow thereby oh wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way by taking heed according to thy word thy word have I hid within mine heart oh God that I might not sin against thee oh sanctify them through thy truth thy word is truth there's a separation my priorities my every value in life was changing things I valued suddenly had no value through the word as I soaked myself in the word of God my greatest love in life what could be more beautiful than God speaking oh I've gone over my time haven't I way over my time haven't I good I'm going on then brother Harold I won't take advantage of you and your graciousness can I tell you this much daddy took one look at us at Dudley and I daddy was an alcoholic then drank through the day went to work into his office just closed the door took out the bottle came home grabbed the bottle mommy was going through a divorce she couldn't take any more and as she went to the lawyers Dudley was saved God came just in time and mommy looked at Dudley and stopped the divorce procedures she had hope just looking at the life something's happening here oh daddy looked one night he looked long and he went into his room and I don't know how many hours he was there but I don't even know what he said to God but I know he came out of that room and he smashed the bottles with such anger he said I'll never allow drink in the home again mommy couldn't even bring what was it something about baking cakes you have to she says to bake my fruit cakes daddy said no not in this house never again he threw down a cigarette 60 cigarettes a day for over 20 years he never touched another one he didn't go through withdrawal stages that was the wonder of it something of a wonder of God when a man really desperately looks to a God he knows can save through what he's seen in his son's lives oh he picked up the book and he read it for nine years he lived 68 times he read through this book from cover to cover I have that Bible he walked with God mommy mommy was something unique she looked at us and she said Keith I know you're trying to tell me I'm a sinner don't think I don't know the people you bring in this house aren't all trying to just tell me I'm a sinner don't think I don't hear when I'm taking you to these meetings that it's just crying out I'm a sinner going to hell but I'm not I'm not going to hell Keith I'm not a sinner you I can understand why God would send you to hell your father your brothers but God cannot send Keith listen I have never in my life sworn a dirty word go to your father he was my childhood sweetheart go to my brothers sisters I have never listened to a dirty joke ask them for my night a child of this day I woke away before it ended I don't listen I have never tasted alcohol I don't know what champagne tastes like I've never smoked cigarettes I can't do what your father did and stole away my cigarettes smash the bottles I can't do that I can't stop swearing I don't do these things men tried to get me Keith I never thought I'd look you in the eyes and tell you he was my son men tried but I never let a man near me I never let a man near me no matter what your father did to me you went astray boy but I want you right now to point me and tell me one thing in my life that caused it and then I'll repent from it what do I throw away I don't read dirty books I don't read dirty magazines I've got nothing to throw out what do I repent from in a confusion of what we were trying to tell her I didn't know what to say to her but I stood there and I marveled at her life for those minutes I just looked at her and marveled at her life one day two godly people coming into our home like Colin Peckham and Mary Peckham Eileen Tauti Will McFarlane oh God sent the godliest to our home to give us the highest standard there is where there's still liberty and not bondage oh through these people she heard things this is Daniel 1 John shares chapter 1 if we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves the truth is not in us if we confess ourselves not just for the rest of our lives one mighty encounter with God to be forgiven of a life of sin he's faithful just to forgive us our sins to cleanse us from all unrighteousness if we say we have not sinned we make him a liar the truth is not in us we call in God a liar for God has said all have sinned there is none righteous no not one all we like sheep have gone astray we've turned everyone to his own way the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of his soul it's like saying Jesus had to die for everyone else on earth but not me that's your greatest sin this is Daniel that's an awful sin all your righteousness becomes as filth filthy rags in my sight God says if it keeps you from realizing you're a sinner you can't be saved unless you know you're going to hell you can't be saved unless you come to God to be saved from hell from the consequences of sin and the judgment of sin I don't know what God convicted my mother of God says all liars shall have their part in the lake that burns to us some sins are big some small to God the same sin as a liar is in the same sentence as a murderer to God it's the same thing it nailed Christ to the cross you nailed Jesus to the cross until you've come nothing nothing nothing that I haven't done like the Pharisee I thank God I'm not as other men are that's why I went to hell that's why the only man that bowed his head and said I am forgive me I a sinner he was justified not a religious good man who never did the evil things and couldn't put himself into the category of a sinner oh I don't know how God convicted my mother but I remember one night she came out in a meeting she became quiet for days and days we watched her she came out we don't know what she said to that person she prayed with I never saw my mother smash bottles of drink I never saw my mother transform and become a new creature in Christ I never saw that but I tell you this much I saw I saw a woman for the first time in my life who had peace in her eyes who had joy that she'd never once had in her life God's joy who had an unashamed testimony of God's grace she testified to the world of what God did to her sons unashamedly and in her own gracious way of what God did to her and I also saw another thing she picked up this book and loves it more than anything in life our home became a beautiful home their marriage a beautiful marriage my brother and I left the businesses eventually went into our training became preachers and he preaches and it led many many many multitudes of people to Jesus I stayed in the mission God put us in right at the start and I preach and I thank God for the years he's helped me to stay faithful I sense God's presence in the pulpit more than any quiet time I love to stand in the pulpit of God because God stands with me and I don't know why but I love him for it I would die the day he took away from me the privilege to preach I would be totally worthless for there's nothing else I long to do but to see men seek God love him find him and know without any doubt as I see them seeking him that what he did for me he'll do for them thirty years later I'm married to a godly holy woman next to the Lord Jesus Christ she's the most precious gift God ever gave me God gave us three children the two eldest love God walk with God our little baby, seven years old he's not saved yet but he's coming he's our joy well imagine if my brother had walked out of that building and not come back in I would be dead don't doubt that Daddy and Mommy would be divorced die of a broken heart Dudley would be a drunk don't doubt that imagine if God brought you here and he isn't thinking only of you he's thinking of all those who he needs to reach through you through your life when you go home imagine if you make a choice and say no even if you know God himself is speaking to you it must be something to stand up in a meeting like this and say I'm unsaved with all these saved godly people but imagine if you said no and God never ever spoke to you again as he's speaking to you now will you bow your heads please if there's anyone in this building who knows that they're not born of God and God's speaking to them when no man's voice ever penetrated I know it's a Christian campaign but something in my heart says I must make this appeal even if you say no at least I made it if you need Jesus and you're the link that God has to reach homes that are broken or breaking or about to be destroyed and lives that are about to die even who may be laughing in your company and you may be shocked when you see the next thing they do if you're the one God's looking at and God brought you and you know it's not man you know you have no argument it's not emotionalism it's God and his mercy if you need to give your life to Jesus and let him start in your home in your circumstances something he'll never stop once he's begun I want you to let God do that if that's why he brought you no matter who you are I want you to have the courage to stand up while all hates are bowed you just stand, please and say it's me it's me I need prayer will you do that? it's gonna cost you come come, I know a battle's going I know the bulk of you are saved there's no doubt will you come? will you just stand swiftly? thank you just remain standing, please I ask just once more there's only one standing we need not look around to see it but if it was that one then it was worth it and God knows why the rest of you had to hear this testimony because I seldom give it I seldom give it it cost me too much to give you stand? thank you, I knew yes I'm not going to embarrass you the two that are standing would you please make your way to the door at the back no one's going to look please do this Debbie, would you organize two godly women to pray with him downstairs or somewhere where they can go and be quiet, please without any disturbance from us you just stand outside and Debbie will be with you thank you for the time you gave me I have no doubt God wanted me to give this testimony and I thank you for your graciousness in allowing me to share these things because I know it's not easy to hear such a thing will you pray for me that God keeps me to the end faithful, true and never ever entering a day without loving the word of God more than life itself because then I will be safe will you please remember that to pray that for my boys and my darling wife who lets me go so many times to preach and perhaps I was thinking this as I was preparing this testimony this morning perhaps Lord knowing how many are saved here they need to hear this in case their sons their daughters their husbands perhaps they're losing heart and they need to know there's no one God won't reach if you pray even for the young man that's coming in your daughter's life he'll come to God but let your life be the thing that makes everyone in your home and out of it that you're praying for say thy God shall be my God just because of your life can we all stand please and our brother will take over