Witty epitaphs reveal truths about death, poverty, and human nature with humor and insight.
The following epitaphs, with the comment on them, are taken from the London _Daily News_:
There is an interesting epitaph on a gravestone in Poling churchyard, Sussex. It runs:
Here
Lieth ye Body
of Alice, ye wife, of Bobt
Woolbridge, who Died
the 27th of May, 1740.
Aged 44 years.
The World is a round thing,
And full of crooked streets.
Death is a market place,
Where all men meets.
If Life was a thing
That money could buy,
The Rich would live,
And the poor would die.
Here is another:
Poor Martha Snell has gone away,
Her would if she could, but her couldn’t stay,
She had two sore legs and a badish cough,
But it were her legs as carried her off.
Less comic, but more witty, is the epitaph found at Kingsbridge, S. Devon.
Here lieth the body of Robert (commonly called “Bone”) Phillips, who died July 27th, 1793, aged 65 years, and at whose request the following lines are here inscribed:
Here lie I at the Chancel door;
Here lie I because I am poor;
The further in the more you’ll pay,
Yet here lie I as warm as they.
Here is an epitaph on a last-maker, who is said to be buried at Llanflantwythyl:
Stop, stranger, stop, and wipe a tear
For the _Last_ man at _last_ lies here,
Tho ever-_last_-ing he has been,
He has at _last_ passed life’s _last_ scene.
Famed for good works, much time he passed,
In doing good--He has done his _last_.
The following, more philosophic and general in its application, is on an eighteenth-century tombstone in Saint Mary’s Parish Churchyard, Mold, North Wales.
Life’s like an Inn where Travelers stay.
Some only Breakfast, and away.
Others to dinner stay, and are well fed.
The oldest only sup and go to Bed.
Long is the Bill who lingers out the day.
He that goes the soonest Has the Least to Pay.
The correspondent also sends us an epitaph which has pithiness and force. It runs:
Here lies W. W.
Who will nevermore trouble you.
It was an epitaph which called forth the following topical epigram from Dr. Samuel Clarke, who had just seen the inscription, “Domus Ultima,” on the vault belonging to the Dukes of Richmond in the Cathedral of Chichester. In a mood of satire he wrote:
Did he who thus inscribed the wall
Not read, or not believe, St. Paul,
Who says there is, where’er it stands,
Another house, not made with hands.
Or may we gather from these words
That house is not a House of Lords.