01.14. CHAPTER 14 - HEIRS TOGETHER

CHAPTER 14 - HEIRS TOGETHER

Although I longed to have a home of my very own, the Lord has not seen fit to grant me one so far. Out of necessity, we have had to live with Prakash’s parents. But Prakash and I are still "heirs together of the grace of life". So we are a royal couple!! And above all, we are happy in the Lord!

I have learnt to respect Prakash’s parents and accept them as my own. They have been good to me. And on my part, I have learnt to do things their way. I have also learnt many practical things from them. I knew that I could learn much from them if I maintained a humble, teachable attitude. The Lord told me never to compare them with my parents, but to accept them just as they are. Then they in turn would accept me too, as their own child.

I took certain decisions, as soon as I moved into my new home:

- I would not resent it, if Prakash’s parents wanted to spend time with him at any time, since he was their son.

- I would never do or say anything that would bring a distance between him and his parents.

- I would leave it to Prakash to decide when to draw the lines of separation between him and his parents (as the Bible taught in Genesis 2:24). I would not be a busybody in his matters.

One day, we heard of a small girl in a nearby slum whose parents were so poor that they were going to sell her off. This appeared to be a common practice in those parts of North India, because many parents were extremely poor. We quickly went to them and asked if we could keep their daughter with us, so that she would not have to be sold. Since we were living nearby, she could go and visit her parents every weekend too. They gladly agreed. I now had someone to talk to and to teach God’s ways. We also arranged to send her to a nearby school. I found an opportunity now to show kindness to one whose earthly lot was miserable, and thus repay the kindness others had shown to me in my younger days.

Jesus came into the world to become the servant of all men. I too want to be like my Lord - a servant to all who came across my path, and especially to the poor and the needy.

I have tried to be a good companion to Prakash and to adapt my routine to his. Though our views are different on some matters, they blend together more and more as the days go by - like the colours in the rainbow. This makes our life together grow richer and more meaningful.

Often I find it boring doing the household chores such as cooking, washing and cleaning up the house. But I remind myself of what Brother Lawrence said in one of his books that he could feel the presence of God just as much when washing the vessels in the kitchen as when he was on his knees at the Lord’s table, partaking of the bread and the cup. I want it to be like that for me too. Singing praises to God lightens every load.

I find that I still need to seek for God’s grace to overcome my moodiness and stubbornness, my nagging of Prakash and many other habits in me that are un-Christlike. I want to be a wife who is like a crown to her husband, one whom he can safely trust in at all times (Proverbs 12:4; Proverbs 31:11).

These words, "That was my fault. I am sorry. Please forgive me" are the words that have brought healing again and again in many a situation that could otherwise have brought tension or an explosion between us.

I have learnt that one big secret of a happy marriage is to appreciate each other and be thankful for each other. Then there can be no room for any unpleasantness or misunderstanding.

How fortunate the girl is who knows the Lord as her intimate Friend and Guide. Such a girl will lack nothing in life, whether she is married or single.

Godliness with contentment is great gain - and that means to be content with whatever lot God has appointed for us in life.

It may be that I will never have the home of my own that I longed for, but will have to stay with my husband’s parents all my life. I shall be content.

It may be that I will have to continue working as a nurse to help my family. I shall be content. Or perhaps I will have to stop working one day, when the Lord gives me a child and I become a full-time mother. I shall be content.

I am prepared for whatever the Lord has chosen to send across my path, for He is the One Who chooses all things for me now.

I want to be like the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31:1-31, who has the law of kindness on her tongue, and who faces the future with confidence in her Lord. That is one chapter in the Bible that I meditate on, often.

Another verse that the Lord has often reminded me of, after I got married, is Psalms 45:10. There it tells me "to forget my father’s house" now that I am married. Rebecca was not attached to her people after she married Isaac. As I had once set my hand to the plough when I chose the Lord Jesus as my Lord and Saviour and never looked back, even so, when I chose a husband as my earthly head, I had set my hand to another plough and I didn’t ever want to look back. Lot’s wife looked back and destroyed herself. I didn’t want to make the same mistake. I could visit my parents and my family-members. But my attachment was to be to my husband alone henceforth.

I had many wrong ideas about sex. When I was single, I had thought that all sexual activity was wrong. Now, as a married woman, I realize that it is wrong only outside of marriage. I saw in the Scriptures that the sexual relationship was not just for the purpose of having children, but a duty that a husband and wife had to fulfil towards each other, except when they mutually agreed to abstain (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). I saw that God had created the sexual function even before man had sinned as one way in which a husband and wife could express their love for one another (Genesis 1:28).

Now that I am married, I find that I have to be more disciplined, if I am to find time to read the Bible and pray and thus maintain a close walk with the Lord - because that has to be fitted in to my busy daily schedule.

I find the late nights to be a good time, when I have finished all my work, to come beside the still waters and to talk to the Shepherd of my soul, before going to bed. In His presence, I find true happiness as I unburden my soul before Him. There I am renewed with joy that is pure and heavenly. There no sin can have power over me. There I find pleasures that are eternal.

I have now experienced a little bit of the reality of what I used to sing to myself for many years:

"There is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God -
A place where sin cannot molest - near to the heart of God." In one sense I am always in the presence of the Lord and my heart is frequently lifted up in praise to the Lord Who has done such wonderful things for me.