Col No.29 The Christian Family

I counted a privilege to be with you all this morning and I'm really grateful to the Lord that I have this opportunity to be here with you all to share this evening and to spend some time with you all. I do bring greetings from the Saints in India to you and we are thankful to the Lord for all your prayers. We have heard that many of you pray for us there in India and we are grateful to the Lord for your prayers and I can assure you that the Lord is answering all your prayers.

The reading this morning is from the book of Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 to verses 33. Ephesians 5 verses 22 to verse 33. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies he that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever it hated his own flesh but nourished and cherished it even as the Lord the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wives see that she reverence her husband.

May the Lord add his blessing to his word. Would you turn to Colossians in chapter three and I read to you from the NIV four verses commencing at the 18th Colossians 3 18 wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord husbands love your wives and be not harsh with them children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. Fathers do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged.

We're striking out this morning in a new area as we have systematically been progressing through this very wonderful epistle of Paul to the Colossians. Nothing warms my heart more in Bible study than to realize the comprehensiveness of teaching. The Word of God touches on many situations.

It is not just concern to spell out the essence of the gospel the fact that Jesus died. Obviously that's the major message evaluating the reason why he died. But it goes on further and it gives marvelous and simple teaching.

Simple for folks who can understand and let hold on what is being portrayed concerning how to live your life and what you are to do because you are a Christian. Sometimes we refer to the Bible as the family Bible and that's a very good description because this book is for every member of the family. This book deals with family situations and it's right and proper that we should investigate the teaching of the Word of God on the Christian doctrine of marriage the Christian doctrine of the family.

So let me tell you what we shall do just by means of an introductory study to this great theme today. I want to make several preliminary general observations about Paul's and the rest of the biblical writers treatment on this subject. And then with that as a background I shall be content in just making three specific conclusions.

And the first thing by way of general introduction to this theme of how husbands are to care for their wives how wives are to respect their husbands how parents are to deal with their children. Let me say this if you're going to really understand this teaching then you must grasp the context in which the teaching is situated. I mean by that that the apostle has not accidentally moved onto this subject as he's writing.

It's not random thoughts that are coming through his mind. This is the teaching of the Holy Spirit and that teaching is always related. The one is connected with the previous thought or statement.

So what do we discover the apostle under the influence of the Holy Ghost has been doing in this particular chapter. Well in the first four verses you recall he has reminded us where Jesus is. Christ is in the heavenlies.

He's sitting on the right hand of God. Verse one. He also tells us what spiritually our relationship is with Jesus.

Ye are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God. And he waxes more eloquent. He makes the statement even more plain.

He says that the source of your life if you belong to Jesus is none other than the Lord Christ himself. Verse four. When Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in glory.

Says the apostle the thing that should be on the forefront of your mind all the time whether you're a young Christian or an older Christian is the fact that Jesus is coming again. And spiritually at this very moment you're in a direct relationship with him. He is your life.

Now that this teaching this wonderful doctrine needs to be applied practically becomes very obvious when you move into the fifth verse. Because there you come across that little connecting word therefore. On account of these things because Jesus is your life because Jesus is coming back again there are certain ways in which your conduct is to be controlled.

Certain things he lists from verses five right down roughly in a division to verse 11 that you're not to do. Why? Because Jesus is your life. Because Jesus is coming back.

And then from the 11th verse or rather from the 12th verse you will discover there's another therefore. And the apostle still got in his mind all that he said in the first four verses. Now because of what I've been teaching you therefore as the elect of God these are qualities which he goes on to list.

Which should be seen in your personality. This is the behavior that should flow within the Christian community. We touched on all this did we not? In the 13th verse particularly thinking about the forgiving nature of one believer towards another.

Now you behave like this simply because of who you are. You're dead with Christ in God. Dead as far as this world is concerned but alive to the Lord Jesus and you're looking for his coming.

And those twin facts which really are related one to another they you can't divide them. They affect the whole of your lifestyle and all your conduct. Are you clear on this? There are some people who sometimes come to me and they say you know we don't want doctrine.

All we really want is the practical application of the Christian message. My friend you can't have the latter without the former. It's because I know who I am a child of God.

Because I appreciate the doctrine of the fullness of the Spirit that my life I desire to be absolutely changed. Radically different from the lives of those who don't know Jesus. Now the Apostle gathers all this up in the 17th verse.

And really he could have finished his argument there. Here's a very comprehensive statement. Whatsoever you do because you belong to Jesus.

Whatsoever you do in word or deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the Father by him. But he doesn't stop there. Why not? Well you see there is one major category that he has not directly touched on.

Where the Christian needs to be challenged and requires instruction. And that of course is his attitude if he's married to his wife. To the husband.

To the children. Whatever happens in the family circle. That also should be controlled by these spiritual facts that these people belong to Jesus.

And they're looking for his coming. So the context of this passage is very important. You can't really appreciate why the Apostle gives the instructions in the 18th through to the 20th verse without realizing what has gone before.

And that brings us to our second introductory observation. Which is simply this. Never miss the importance of marriage as taught in Scripture.

I do not think with perhaps the exception of teaching given on the church of Jesus Christ and how it's to be controlled and the ministries therein. There is any subject that occupies the attention of biblical writers more than this one. Christian marriage.

The marriage the Old Testament of the righteous people. One with another. And there are many verses of Scripture which need to be placed along these three or four verses from Colossians 3 for us to fully understand the the breadth the sweep of scriptural teaching.

What you have in these three or four verses is a précis of what the Apostle Paul tells us in a more expanded fashion in the passage which Joseph read from Ephesians. But as you will discover if you stay the course of our studies on this subject on a Sunday morning. There are other equally vital passages of Scripture.

Paul when he's writing to Timothy. When he's writing to Titus. When the fisherman Peter is writing to a community of Christians.

These men they make reference to this doctrine. They talk about wives and how wives are to control themselves in their domestic affairs. They talk about husbands and their relationship to their wives.

And young people who are contemplating marriage. I tell you that nothing is more important than that you come to the Scripture and see what it has to say on these subjects. I'm not saying that there aren't books which will be of help to you.

In addition to Scripture that will explain perhaps a little more clearly than you would have grasped at first instant the word of God. But I am saying this that the family Bible has within it all the teaching that you need for a successful marriage. And here is instruction on sexual ethics and morality which is not matched by any other single volume in this world.

So the Scriptures have a lot to say about the subject of marriage. In the Old Testament if I can just develop the point for a moment. We're giving introductions into family circles where everything is happy.

Take that idyllic story of Ruth and Boaz and their offspring and grandmother too who's there in the picture that you'll get in the last chapter of that book. A wonderful story. Ah but Scripture is very realistic.

Not every marriage is like that of Ruth and Boaz. Not everyone has children who follow in father's footsteps. And there are these great giants Eli and Samuel and David.

Men who made an impact for God in their generation. But as parents there's a lot that was unsatisfactory as they control their family situation. The story is honestly recorded in the word of God for what reason? So that you might learn.

So that having instruction when you control your family. When you're married and God prospers you with with children. So you shall learn from their mistakes and implement biblical principles which will help you as family people.

So then I say that to understand these four verses in Colossians 3 you need to bear in mind the context of the passage. And remember that Paul is touching on something which is underlined time and time again in Scripture. Not only the apostles, not only his epistles but other books too.

And the first part of the Bible the Old Testament. Another general observation is this. We need this instruction.

Now that might seem trite the point that I'm just making. But let me make it again because I think it's very important indeed. We need this instruction.

Why do I say this? Well you see there is one emphasis in the proclamation of the gospel which really overstretches. Which really takes a little out of context the main thrust of the gospel message. You say what do you mean by that? Well you go along and you listen to the gospel being preached and you're told to come to Jesus and he will resolve all your problems.

And you sing some of these happy choruses and these happy hymns and I'm not criticizing them at all though maybe now and again the theology could be corrected a little. Life is wonderful now I let Jesus in that changed everything. And potentially that's possible.

But the outworking isn't always so simple. And if that had not been the case follow through my logic at the moment then the Apostle would never have written this instruction. You know if your marriage was guaranteed to be an absolutely happy one the moment that you took Jesus as your Savior all of your problems were resolved then you don't need this teaching at all.

But the New Testament is replete with it. And it's an expansion upon Old Testament teaching. Why is it there? Because the Bible is a very realistic book.

And it tells you that though within the gospel of Jesus Christ there are great and glorious blessings. Acceptance of that gospel can also bring its own peculiar problems. Are you aware of that? You say well that's a very strange piece of reasoning.

Well that may be so at first hearing but think it through. You take for instance in the context of this epistle as it's addressed to the church at Colossae. Take the example of a woman who's given her heart to Jesus but her husband hasn't.

What about the strange there? She has been introduced to the Word of the Living God and her husband knows nothing about it. And when she informs him she he reacts against it. And yet the Bible seems to indicate that she should be submissive to her husband.

The very gospel that has enlivened her brings her marriage into a completely different perspective. How does she cope with this situation? That's one example. I could give you more.

But my point was this. That we need this instruction because the conduct of life within the Christian family is not always a very simple thing to develop. And the fourth thing which really by way of introduction is coupled with my last point is this.

The problem of leadership. You say what do you mean? Well let's listen to the Apostle. We're quoting from the 11th verse.

We could have gone to Galatians chapter 3 and verse 28 for something that perhaps is even a little bit more relevant on this point. But here's the 11th verse. The Apostle is talking about the barriers being down once you come to Jesus.

There is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free, but Christ is all and in all. Now in the other verse that I quoted from Galatians it also goes on to say that there's no more existing as God is concerned, spiritually speaking, male or female. So if that distinction is rendered null and void, what happens in the family circumstance? Is there any leadership that's warranted at all? Are both men and women equal so to speak in the family? Do they share the affairs themselves having a little democratic discussion? Does the lady become more dominant or the man become more dominant? It's a question of leadership.

That is something that needs further expansion, further teaching on. And that's why the Apostle, doubtless with that 11th verse in mind and other teaching that he sent to a variety of local Christian churches brings together in Ephesians and in Colossians and in the pastoral epistles, teaching on the way Christian folks are to control and condition their homes. Nothing is more important to the person in the world than the way that you and I conduct our family affairs.

Do you know that? Someone, it's Dr. Moole in his commentary says this, that the Christian home is truly a masterpiece of the applied gospel. The Christian home is a masterpiece of the applied gospel. What does he mean? Well you see the outsider comes into the tabernacle on the Sunday and maybe he's impressed or otherwise but at least he can see an orderly service, people who look reasonably interested in what's happening, sometimes get a little bit enthusiastic in their singing and he goes away and he's impressed to a degree.

But you see he would expect to find out, here's a controlled situation, a man in the pulpit, people singing, perhaps a group of people coming along and singing, everything controlled, everything orderly and there's a spontaneity and we trust a joy about it. But he's no fool. He knows that on a Sunday church goers tend to put on not only their best clothing but a better personality and the way to test whether Christianity itself really makes any difference at all is not by looking at a person in church but having a quiet word with his wife or the husband or arriving on the doorstep unexpectedly on a Tuesday evening or a Tuesday afternoon.

The Christian home is a masterpiece of the applied gospel because it's there where we make sense of what is spelt out on a Sunday as we receive teaching. It's there we apply the Word of God. So these general introductory points I think need to be borne in mind as we come to examine what the Apostle has to say about controlling our homes, about relationships between husbands and wives and parents and and children.

But I promised I would make three and be content on that this morning. Three specific deductions instead of just general considerations about the Christian doctrine of marriage from this passage. And the first specific deduction I make is this and I'll lump them under three headings which are easy for you to remember.

The sufficiency of Scripture in its teaching about marriage. The sufficiency of Scripture in its teaching about marriage that the Christian must accept. You see there's a great deal of discussion these days about marriage and about the running of the home.

You can read your psychologist Jung and Freud and sometimes they say the most absurd things the most ridiculous things. The premise from which they measure is not the premise of Scripture. But you see Scripture is sufficient to deal with all marital problems that I do believe.

That's not to say there is not room for pastoral counseling and that sort of thing. But I believe in the revelation of God's Word from Genesis to Revelation the last book of the Bible itself. There is within the Scriptures all the information and all the basic principles that are necessary for the conducting of the home.

So that it's happy and so that the family life is to the glory of God. Now it's necessary my friends that you accept the sufficiency of Scripture in its entirety before you can come to these three or four verses and pick holes in them if you're of a critical mind. Let's take the 18th verse for instance.

Imagine how the women's lib organizations would go who would react to this. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands or some of our modern educationalists. Children, verse 20, children obey your parents and questions would immediately be asked.

This is unfair. This is not democratic. Paul is anti-feminist.

He's someone who's just a rabid Jewish teacher who perhaps had a marriage and it didn't work out very well earlier on. All these notions have been put about the Apostle Paul and this dictate wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands. Who does he think he's talking to? Are wives just slaves? Now that's where the doctrine of Scripture comes in you see and that's why I was spelling out the context of this passage.

Because the Apostle who asked wives to submit themselves to their husbands has in the context generally and specifically in the parallel reference in Ephesians said that husbands are to submit themselves primarily to the Lord Christ. So there are two areas of submission. Not this tyrannical husband who's got all power invested in himself but rather this man who's come to the Lord God who has received the love of the Lord Jesus in his own heart who's in submission to God the Heavenly Father.

You see Scripture must be taken in its entirety and we must recognize this not only the sufficiency of Scripture but the uniformity of Scripture. You see right back in the early books of the Bible in fact in the first book of the Bible the book of Genesis the Lord God puts down teaching concerning the family life the relationship of man and woman. Chapter 2 verse 21 the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man and Adam said this is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.

Exactly the same teaching that the Lord Jesus underlines and develops the same teaching as the Apostle Paul latches on to. Here is woman and she is miraculously brought into being to compliment her man to compliment her partner all this needs to be held in mind as you come to that 18th verse wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands. I say this once again the Bible is the most wonderful book on marriage guidance and counseling that there has ever been.

It looks at no subject in relationships with disdain it doesn't become coy or shy it recognizes the various areas in which men and women can relate the physical the social the spiritual the emotional and it's all there within the Word of God. It sends a lover to the song of Solomon in case he or she has got some Victorian prejudice about physical relationships. It sends the engaged couple to the early part of the Bible and to scriptures in the New Testament when it talks about the fidelity of a relationship.

It sends us to Mary herself and shows us how she remained a pure woman although she was of child conceived by the Holy Ghost and she becomes a pattern for all girls who would be pure and holy in the sight of God. You see all this Victorian attitude towards sex and bringing that into a dark corner not talking about it and thinking that certain aspects are not fit for discussion not fit for instruction. The Bible never said that at all.

It comes and it's got balanced teaching pure teaching nothing dirty nothing smutty nothing like a third-rate novel and it's doctrine of marriage is not that physical doctrine that Hollywood puts out where people think just in terms of eye attraction and no wonder the divorce rates pile up and pile up and pile up when so much of what the Word of God teaches about family life that holds it together that keeps it in place the cement that bonds relationships are completely ignored. That's what I mean when I talk about taking the sufficiency of scripture and examining all passages in the context of these three or four verses which are with us for the next few Sunday mornings. And also my dear friend not so not just the sufficiency of Scripture but the sanctity of marriage which is taught by Scripture.

Sanctity what does that mean? Well it means sacred the setting apart of something for the Lord. So in the 18th verse and here I don't want to be too technical that little expression X translated it is fit in the Lord applying the conduct of or referring to the conduct of the wives there. It has this idea in the original that as the wife is in union with her husband so she is rising to the calling that God has placed upon her.

Let's unscramble that and put it simply starkly not to shock you but to make it clear in the marriage relationship in the Christian home you worship God. You worship God. Here I am as a wife and I'm I'm immersed in the domestic scene on a Monday on a Tuesday and sometimes the pressures of that they just cave in on me and I feel a little frustrated a little taught.

What am I to remind myself of? Not just that you're married but your life is hid with Christ in God that you're set apart for his service that he has called you to one of the most wonderful ministries of all time. That of being a partner of a man. That of possibly being a mother with children.

You're offering this not just on the altar of your marriage as a love offering to your husband more importantly I choose my words carefully more importantly you're offering this to the Lord which leads onto this conclusion nobody outside the Christian church fully appreciates the Christian doctrine of marriage which heightens it beyond measure which calls our family relationships worship which is acceptable or unacceptable before God so the Apostle says wives submit yourselves unto your husbands as it is fit in the Lord whatever you're doing whatever area of relationship you are in you're still a child of God and you can do nothing which should not first of all go through your mind as being an offering of praise and worship to God. I must come back to that as indeed next week I want to come back to or introduce a third point under this heading which I haven't time to bring to you this morning and that is how the Bible spiritualizes the concept of marriage and relates it to the death of Jesus and his atoning work on the cross. The Apostle works this out very carefully in that chapter from Ephesians and again gives me the warrant to make this conclusion that only a Christian can really understand and appreciate all the beauty and all the potential of marriage because it is that human relationship which is singled out in the New Testament as illustrating the mystical unity between the Heavenly Father and between you and me through the offering of Jesus on the cross of Calvary.

But there will start for the time being the Christian doctrine of family life the Christian doctrine of marriage is very clearly enunciated in the New Testament and there's a carry through of principles which are embedded within the old and as we continue our study I think it will be for the profit of all of us in the tabernacle whether married or single. And Father we thank you again for our Lord Jesus. Thank you that not only is he the shepherd of the sheep he's also the bridegroom of the church giving illustration in his life and in his teaching as to how family circles and marital relationships are to be conducted and as we continue in this necessary study from your word we ask your help and now prepare us as we come around his table for his sake amen