Finding The Right Partner

Proverbs 31 10 is one verse that can be divided into two parts. The first part is for the man and the second part is for the woman. Which is the part for the man? It says, who can find a virtuous wife? It's a question mark.

King Solomon is asking us, who can find a virtuous wife? That's for the man. The second one is for the woman. For her worth is far above Ruby's precious stones.

For her worth is far above Ruby's precious stones. Who can find a virtuous wife? What does the word virtuous mean? Literally, fearing the Lord. Fearing means loving Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

King Solomon, through his wisdom, which he received from God himself, is saying to every man, if you are looking for a girl in marriage, you better look for a girl that loves Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You know why my son? Because when you find a fear, a God-fearing woman, never be afraid of her. Because the Lord who is in her will never teach her to be nasty to you.

So the man should not look mainly for the external looks. Son, my son, oh bishop, look at this gazelle. Man, I hate the jackpot.

Look at her height. Look at the hair. Look at the face.

Look at the eyes. She's stunning, brother. She will give you hell.

Don't get me wrong. The looks are important because you don't want to wake up the first day after honeymoon and call RSPCA. I just wanted to make you laugh.

Please don't get offended. All right. Currently, I have one eye until the Lord gives me the other one, but I still have the red belt in karate.

So don't come. You know why I said that? Because my son, this will be the first time you will see her without makeup. I thought I married Mariah Carey.

Who's this? Okay. Look, the external looks are important, but they are not the most important. The most important is the internal looks, not the external.

Because whether we like it or not, time will take away the external looks. The woman gets married, has few children. Man, see you later.

And since she's married someone who has a pain in the neck, she'll age very quickly. So that good looking girl, that 21, she's not going to be the same at 51. So the external looks are important, but the most important of all is the heart.

Is her heart with the Lord or not? This is the first question you ask when you meet a girl for the first time. Ask her, do you love Jesus? If she says no, don't be a saint and try to convert her. Give it some time, but not too long, because she may convert you.

More than likely, because the woman has a lot of influence on the man, more than the man to the woman. That's why King Solomon through his wisdom says to the man, find a girl that loves the Lord, because she will take you to heaven with her, not to hell. She will take you to heaven.

Because mom for 30 years tried to make me do one thing, she failed. This woman I met yesterday, she makes me do everything under the sun for her. Wow! I wouldn't even clean my room, I'm cleaning the garden inside and outside the house and on the rooftop as well.

Because my woman said, you're my man, go and clean the house. Tarzan, here we come. So she is the most influential in your life.

Find the girl that is God fearing, she will make you a saint. She will make you a saint. And so many men came to Christ because of their wives.

Look for a wife, for a girl that loves the Lord. For her worth is far above rubies, precious stones. This is for the girl.

He's saying, King Solomon to the girl, find a man that will see you, my daughter, in his eyes, more precious than precious stones. And what is more precious than precious stones? First Peter 1, 18 to 19, Saint Peter tells us, what is more precious than stones and pearls? First Peter 1, 18 to 19, knowing that you were not redeemed, purchased, knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things like silver or gold from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ. So what is more precious than pearls and stones? The blood.

We were redeemed by the blood of Christ as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. So what is blood here? Life. My life is determined by the blood.

The blood goes, I die. So what is more precious than pearl and precious stones? Life. He says, my daughter, look for a man that is willing to put his life on the line for you.

And look for a girl that loves the Lord, my son. When you look for a girl that loves the Lord, fear nobody. And when you find a man that is willing to die for you, i.e. sacrifice for you, go for that man.

Now, when are we going to understand this concept from the womb of our mother, from those first three years after birth and until the age of 18, I will understand everything my parents taught me and thank God for it because he is the ultimate teacher. When you find a girl and your heart starts dancing from within for the first time, you go up to her and you approach her and you want to get to know her. Here's what you need to do if you haven't found one yet.

Those who are married, I said it's too late. You go to her and then you get to know her for three months, not more. And during these three months, normally you need to go back to your spiritual father and update your spiritual father with what has been happening throughout these three months.

Don't take it into your own hands. You're playing with fire. So you go out, you talk, exchange words, you go back to your spiritual father, say we had this kind of a conversation.

This is what I said, this is what she said, or this is what I said, and this is what he said. What do you say father? Okay, continue. It's okay.

Three months you should be able to make a very clear decision whether you continue with the relationship or walk away. Because by the three months are up, you will have a good idea if this person speaks your language or not. You will know them.

You will know them. The way you talk and the way they respond, you know. If you're a church person and all they talk about worldly, what are you doing? You're in a very wrong relationship.

You're still, you are there just for the looks. What looks? We need to be wise, wise. So after three months, you decide, shall I continue, give it more chance or not? If you say yes, you should be married maximum within 18 months, a year and a half, you should be married.

This relationship must be stamped, sealed, finalized, settled. When you buy a house, they say there is a settlement date. Well, you're gonna put a deposit and wait 10 years? You need to settle within a certain time.

If you don't settle, there are penalties and you may lose the house and the deposit which you put 10%. It's a big hefty penalty. So after a year and a half, if you are still in the relationship, three years, four years, five years, I will ask you this and you better be honest.

Aren't you encountering a lot of problems? 100% yes. You know why? Because after two years and above, every man and his dog will enter and interfere with your relationship. Because he didn't seal it.

Problems will start when you're going to get married, the in-laws are getting on your back, come on, our daughter is not cheap, you better settle this matter, you better marry her, otherwise we don't want to see your face. Problems. Friends come in, cousins come in, everyone will come in.

And then the more you leave it, the more you're not able to settle the matter. You should be married year and a half. From the day you've met that person for the first time till the wedding day, it should be not more than 18 months, maximum two years.

After two years, kiss it goodbye. There's a lot of problems now. You know why it's a problem? I'll tell you why.

Because you got used to each other outside the marital house. I don't want you now. I'm used to you.

Okay, you're not happy? Okay, see you. And when you say see you after all these years, what happened to the heart? It's shattered. Shattered.

Because there's a lot of emotions here. The deposit is lost. The matter was never settled.

So you need to settle. You can't just say, oh no, look, I'll give it another chance. I'll give it another.

And it's been five years. What other chance? Like this man, young man, he went to the priest. He said, father, yes, son, I've known this girl for the past four years, and I don't know, father, tell me, shall I marry her or not? The father kicked him so hard in the back side, and he said, get out of my office.

I'm not the one who's marrying her. It's you. Why are you asking me after four years? Get out of my room.

What do you mean, father, shall I marry her? You've been going out with her for four years, and you can't decide. Now you're telling me to decide for you? You don't want to marry her? Don't. You want to marry her, go.

But don't ask me after four years. You should have come from day one.