Die to Self

I used to go clubbing before. No more. I'm going to church.

I used to swear and use all the foul languages under the sun. No more. I'll start praising the Lord and thanking God for everything he's given me.

And I'm going to start blessing people instead of before cursing them. I will not mix with the wrong crowd. No more.

I will mix with the people that belong to the family of Christ. Today, I'm beginning afresh. Today, I'm having a new family.

When you begin living the word, oh my goodness, all hell breaks loose. You will receive the biggest shock of your life. And you would think by coming to the Lord, he's going to fix everything for you.

But fixing it for you, it is the way you think about it, not the way God knows about it and sees. You see, that's where we go wrong and start blaming God. Why are you allowing all this to happen to me? All I did, I said, Lord, I want to follow you.

What kind of a sin is that? What kind of a crime is that? I wanted to follow Jesus. Look what happened. Before people loved me, now they hate me.

Before they befriended me, now they don't want to hear my voice nor see my face. And now they're trying every way possible just to break me and make me fall. But they loved me before.

My life was sweet before. Now that I'm following Christ truly, my life is all bitter. The Lord says, you want to follow me? Yes, Lord.

Okay. When you start following me, the beginning is sweet. But afterwards, it's going to be bitter because you're carrying my cross.

Are you willing, my child? Are you willing? The Lord calls everyone through the narrow door. He will never call you through the wider gate. Never.

The Lord will always call you through the narrow door. And the Lord said, the wider gate, the path is very wide. And many people go through that door, but that gate, but that path leads to destruction.

But blessed is he who finds the narrow door because they are only few. But those who find the narrow door, the path is very narrow. Narrow means you're going to suffer.

It's suffocating. It's claustrophobic. You're going to squeeze in there.

It is uncomfortable. But the wider gate, you can cruise with your Ferrari and Lamborghini and with all your loved ones and all the luggages of the past. But the narrow door only fits you.

Can't fit your money. Can't fit your fame. Can't fit your pride.

Can't fit your dignity. Can't fit nothing except you. Can't fit mom, dad, brother, sister, husband, wife, sons, none of them.

You, alone. Jesus wants you. I'm not saying don't love mom and dad, but don't ever love them more than Christ.

Don't scare him. Because if you do, he will take him. His love is jealous and zealous.

Listen, I'm going to give you a shortcut, right? Christ is the only one that you belong to. You need to learn. At the end, when we go there with his grace, you're not going to go there and say, oh, hello mom.

Oh, hello dad. Oh, hello honey, husband, wife, none of that. It's going to be Jesus only.

It's not going to be mom, dad, brother, sister, none of this. It's going to be Jesus only. The Lord says you need to learn how to make me number one in your life.

You need to learn. I'm teaching you here so that you don't get a shock when you come there. You don't get a shock.

Why the Lord calls us through the narrow door? Why, Lord, you choose a way for me to suffer. You are God. You created me on the basis of love.

Why don't you give me a luxurious life? Why don't you give me a peaceful life, an easygoing life? Why the narrow door? For your sake, you are being God. Since you're God, for your sake, God, why the narrow door? He says, my child, I want you to learn one of the greatest lessons of life. There are so many great lessons, one of the greatest.

You need to learn. Life is a school. We come here to learn, my beloveds, about the Creator.

That was the very purpose. We need to get to know Him, why He made me, why He brought me to existence. We need to learn, my beloved, one of the greatest lessons we need to learn is called trust.

When it comes to trust, stop asking questions all the time. Just accept it and go with it. Because the more questions you ask, the more disoriented you become.

You will never be able to make a decision. You will never be able to have peace in your life. For as long as you're using your head, there is no peace.

Give it away. Let Christ take over. Trust in Him.

Even if you understand absolutely nothing, trust Him. So when He says, I want you to walk through hell, stop saying why. Explain.

Tell me. Please. I don't know.

Shall I? Shall I not? Shall I do it? Shall I buy a house? Shall I apply for the job? Shall I marry Rachel or Elizabeth? Get a life. Marry someone. Make a decision.

Saint James, the apostle of Christ, in his epistle says, A person that is undecisive only burns himself. Why are we so undecisive? Because I have lack of trust in the saving power of Christ. Trust Him.

Now trust doesn't mean you have to understand in order to trust. That is not trust. You're doing it your way, not God's.

God will not accept. He'll keep on breaking you until you surrender. He will keep on breaking you.

I'm telling you, I've been there. I've done it. Believe me.

Listen to this piece of wreck. He will continue breaking you until you wave the white flag. He will never let go of you because He has to make sure you are saved and in His kingdom because He's purchased you with His precious blood for the sake of His holy name.

He will not let go of you even if you do. He made a promise to his dad. Dad, I'm going to earth.

Okay, son, because that's what I want, son. He said, yes, I'll do your will. But dad, I'll promise you this, daddy.

The people you give me, the bride that I received from earth, I'm telling you that I'm not going to come back home alone. I'll bring the bride with me. I'll make sure.

Those whom you gave me, none of them will disappear. So He will use every way possible to break you in order to make it. You want to have it easy? Surrender.

You keep being stubborn. He keeps on breaking you until you let go of your head. Let go.

Trust. You need to trust in the Lord. Now, why the narrow door, Lord? Again, you're asking me a question? Yes, Lord, I'm thick-headed.

I'm stubborn. Assyrian, what do you expect? Middle Eastern. My blood boils quickly.

I'll tell you why, son. Imagine this with me. If I invited you through the wider gate, you're expecting freedom, you're expecting comfort, and the wider gate is all of that.

But listen, my child, I wouldn't have true love for you if I invited you through the wider gate. You know why, my child? Because the wider gate fits you and fits your entire tribe, the entire Assyrian tribe. So you will bring with you your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your cousins, your nieces, your nephews, your friends, your work colleagues.

You'll bring the dogs, the animals, everything because it fits you all. And guess what? It will bring with you also, you'll be able to bring all the luggages of the past, all the heavy burdens, all the dark spots in the past I'm carrying with me. And human nature is a fallen human nature.

When we look back, we will always focus first on the negative things. We never focus on the good things. This is human nature.

It's fallen. It's corrupt. When the hard drives is struck with a bug, what is it going to do? It's not going to give you colorful pictures.

It's going to give you some weird, ugly things all over the place. So when we focus on the past, we focus on the negative aspects. We are carrying the heavy luggages of the past, all the shortfalls and all the sins and all the problems we had.

And I'm carrying the luggages with me. I'm not letting go of it because it's a human nature that is corrupt. Can't know any better.

Can't do any better. So I come with the luggages. It's a white gate.

It fits me and the luggages fits all the people that are loved by me. And when you're surrounded by your loved people, when they are talking to you and you're talking to them, you are so preoccupied with them. God is yelling, screaming, saying, child, please, I need you and I need your attention.

Give me your ear. Come back. I miss you, my daughter.

I miss you, my son. I want to share a moment with you. I want you to come and sit at my feet.

I want to have an intimate moment with the love of my life, the one whom I purchased with my own precious blood. And I'm too busy for God because I am so preoccupied with everyone under the sun except God.