Handling Third Party In Marriage

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Telephone numbers 0703 03636 59 0703 76811 98 Email address lsmediaatlivingseed.org Or visit our website at www.livingseed.org Let us sit back and listen as the servant of God brings forth the Word of Life. As I did say, we are going to be looking at handling third parties in our marriages, in our homes. And I just want to read Genesis chapter 2, verse 24, 25, and 31 of chapter 3. As we take a brief introduction to begin to meditate together on the issue of third partners in our marriages.

We say, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made.

And he said to the woman, Has God indeed said, You shall not eat of every tree of the garden? I just wanted us to appreciate again that God's plans and provisions for the marriage of his children is to achieve oneness. And as we are reading here, to become one flesh. God's own plans and God's own provision that he's making for our homes, our marriages, is to achieve this oneness.

That each and every one of us will become one flesh. This is the means, this is the only means. Or this is the only state of our homes, our marriages, by which the marriage can be used of the Lord for the expansion of his kingdom here on earth.

That is why God is very, very emphatic in saying that what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. God has joined us together and he will not have anyone, he will not have anything, anyone to put it asunder. As Jesus said in Matthew chapter 19 and verse 6, it is for us not to let any third party put what God has joined together asunder.

So that God will achieve his highest purpose with our marriages. But as we read in verse 1 of Genesis 3, just as the devil, the third party, a marriage is entered very softly, very unnoticed into the marriage of Adam and Eve. And diverted that marriage away from the purpose of God.

So if we are not very careful, Satan still sponsors persons into our marriages to stop us short from achieving the plans and purposes of God in our homes. However, whoever is a source of this harmony in a marriage facilitates the purpose of Satan rather than the purpose of God in that marriage. We are sitting together by God's grace and finding this time to begin to discuss together the issue of third party in our marriages.

Because as we will notice, it was after the damage had been done that the woman said, the serpent deceived me. I want to pray that for you and I, as we have the opportunity of this meeting, and as we have the opportunity of the grace of God, and as we see the Lord very, very mindful in coming to us in this meeting of all the series that have gone before, the theme talk, as the Bible study, and as they will keep coming to us, we are praying that nothing, no deception, the enemy will never succeed with any deception in using anything to scatter our own marriage. So we will be discussing, we shall be discussing how to handle third parties in our marriages, praying for God's wisdom and provision on how to handle them so that the oneness that God, that God intend that it will enhance His purpose in our lives and lift up Christ in our homes will never be shaken in the name of Jesus Christ.

So we, I just think we should try to understand what then do we mean by third party in a marriage? What do we mean by third parties in marriage? When we talk of third party generally, a third party is a person or persons who is not a party to a contract or a transaction, but it still has an involvement. I'm saying that when we talk of a third party, generally we mean a person, he does not have a party, he does not have any legal right in the matter, he is not part of the contract that is signed between parties, but he has an involvement. For example, what I'm trying to say for us to understand what a third party is, is that supposing a contractor should sign a contract with a government maybe for road construction, the two legal parties that are involved there, the contractor and the agent of government, but in executing that contract, there shall be many people that will be involved, the people working on the road, the engineers and all that, they are not part so much of the contract or the transaction, but they are involved so that the transaction will be carried out.

So a third party normally has no right in the matter. A third party is someone who only incidentally is connected to a matter. It is someone other than the principal persons that are involved.

He is like a bystander, he is not involved, he is not so much, let me say he is like an independent witness. That's a third party. And as we have been defining marriage maybe in the study and severally, we have been noting that marriage is a permanent union between a man and his wife.

And it's not that union, that permanent union between a man and his own wife, it's not a man and his wife and the entire extended families, no friends. So even though the extended families, his friends for example, they can be involved as we go on, we know that of course third parties are very useful in our marriages, but they are not part of the contract at all that we entered into, they are not part of the oath that we took with our spouses. They may be helpful, but they must not be involved as to the extent of the, if you catch them tomorrow, if the lawsuit question them, they can jump away, they are not part of the contract.

Let me say that anybody around a marriage, rather than the husband and the wife, they are third parties. Let me say all of us that are seated here, we are third parties to one marriage or the other. We are involved in marriages, but the contract is only between you and your own wife.

And so, because of the several interferences in marriages by men outside the marriage, which as I said, the enemy sometimes deliberately exploits such situations, because whether knowingly or unknowingly, the devil exploits it to do havoc in the home. We are going to be praying that the Lord will help us, that we will know how to handle third parties, where we also, ourselves, not play a negative role of a third party in any home, in any marriage. As I was saying, of course, third parties are necessary in one's marital life, only that they must have their limits when it comes to husband and wife relationship, in order that the living and the cleaving works between the couples.

So we must not see third parties first and foremost in a negative sense. Because as I checked scriptures, I began to see that several third parties that play the correct role, were very, very, very helpful, very necessary to that marriage. I remember last night the Lord was speaking to us of the marriage in Cana of Galilee.

You will appreciate that there were many third parties in that marriage. Are you with me? Mary, sorry, Mary the mother of Jesus, do you know she was a third party to that marriage? Yes, she was neither a husband, she was not a wife, she was not a husband, she was not involved in the vows, she was not involved in the contract, but as he watched and there was no wine, she noticed, and she noticed that there is no wine. And I don't think she told those couples very quietly, she just approached the Lord Jesus Christ and said these people lack wine.

And all that happened, she played a very crucial role of a third party, but it was such a positive and appreciative one. I'm saying all of us that are here are third parties in one marriage or the other. I am praying that for us, the role we will be playing in all the marriages that were allowed of the Lord to be around us and for us to be involved in, will be that of a positive third party.

So that we will enhance that marriage rather than cause havoc therein. Several examples of positive third parties can be cited in scriptures. Most times at the beginnings of marriages, as I've checked in scriptures, third parties are involved.

They are actually the ones that help and nurse and help those marriages to take place. For instance, Abraham's servant was a very positive third party to Isaac and Rebekah's marriage, as well as Rebekah's brother, Laban. If we would check all the roles that they played, so that that marriage would take place.

There were positive third parties. I just wanted us to perhaps note those we can say constitute third parties in marriages or to the married couples. Just mention of all the people that can be third parties.

The matter is that we may not be able, so to say, to take these third parties one by one and to be saying how to handle this, how to handle this in marriage. But perhaps we will just do a general approach by the grace of God and pray that the Lord will help us. Who constitutes third parties to married couples? Number one, parents.

Parents constitute third parties to marriage, to the couple, both parents. Children are third parties. House helps, they are third parties.

And when we are making comments of the negative influence that third parties can have in a marriage, we will be seeing that some third parties can be very, very dangerous if we do not know how to watch, how to handle them in our homes. Siblings, the brothers and sisters of both parties are third parties. Other relatives on both sides are third parties.

Friends, friends are third parties. Our neighbors, some neighbors are third parties. Our acquaintances, colleagues at work, colleagues in business, colleagues in the school, classmates, past classmates.

They can interfere in homes. You agree that disciples and disciples can be third parties, isn't it? Are you with me? Oh, you are not with me again. Disciples and disciples are third parties.

Pastors and men of God, can they be third parties? They are third parties. Employers and employees can be third parties. And the list goes on and on and on and on.

A brother shared with me how a doctor interfered very dangerously in his marriage as the sister went to consult with him. Sorry, with him. And perhaps this should not be applicable to any one of us, any home here, but in Christian marriage, if there is a second or a third or a fourth wife, the second, third, fourth or any number of wives are third parties.

The second wife is a third party. Let me say that again. What do you want to hear me say again? That a second wife is a third party as far as Christian marriage and Christian marriage definition is concerned, that woman is a third.

Say it again. I hope no one that is seated here has such a third party for his own marriage. We would have gone to cast that one out.

But, and I think the first wife will like that one very well, but I will not do that ministry now here. So, we have mentioned quite a list of people that can be third parties in a marriage. The third party, the handling of third parties that we want to talk about, sincerely speaking, even the positive third parties, there is a handling that I can generally say they needed to be appreciated, they needed to be thanked, they needed to be appreciated.

Anyone that is playing a very positive role in your marriage and is not causing any disharmony in your marriage needed to be thanked, to be handled with honor and with a lot of thanks. But, in our discussion today, it is actually the issue of third parties that play a negative role in the home, in the marriage that we are thinking of. They can be very innocent about it.

They can be because we do not know how to handle third parties that such an occurrence is happening. So, we are going to be praying that God will help us as to handle third, to know how to handle third parties very well. But before we go to handling third parties, I would want to discuss how do third parties come in.

Then to look at, again very briefly, what do third parties do that cause havoc? In the home. Because some of us may be doing such things, or people may be doing such things to our homes. We may go through very few things that third parties do that cause havoc in the home.

But how do third parties come in? I want to read Malachi chapter 2 and verse 14, just to use it to apply to let us see how, if we are careless, third parties can come into our homes. Malachi 2, verse 14, we must have read it. The last two or so parts of the last part of that verse, but let me read the whole verse.

Yet you say, for what reason? Because the Lord has been a witness. Because between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously, yet she is your companion, and your wife by covenant. That's how I think the New King James I'm reading from says.

I was taking the word treachery to note that it is the act of violating the confidence of another, usually for some personal gain. The act of violating the confidence of the other, and we can violate the confidence of our partners, and it may not be so much perhaps deliberately, but many times most couples, they never anticipate the discoveries they are making of their spouses, as the marriage grows. At the beginning, the love was so strong that they were completely intoxicated with a good wine, as we're seeing yesterday.

They never, never, never anticipated what they are discovering now, that the wine is running out. And as the wine is coming out and the eyes are clearing, deficiencies of each other is coming to the surface. And as everyone is becoming more and more himself in the marriage, some discoveries are being made, and you are saying, ah, so is this who you were? Sometimes the partner may want to find vents, may want to talk to some person about their marriage.

Whenever the two do not go together, whenever you are not going to discuss what you are discovering and is shocking you, and you are not knowing how to handle it in between you, and you are going alone to begin to discuss with some person, it may even be the person that you have a lot of confidence in, the one that helped in the marriage. If God doesn't help, people that you discuss will begin to develop sympathy for the one who is doing the reporting. You know that when you go to talk about a matter that is happening even between you and your wife, ah, you present your own side very well, isn't it? Isn't it also? Present your own side.

If you hear one person is always right, and so may begin to develop, even counselors begin to develop sympathy for the person who is doing the reporting if you are not careful. And once somebody becomes a sympathizer with you, and it is sympathizers who begin to gather around your marriage, cracks will begin to develop. Sympathetic counseling or sympathetic counselors, they don't treat the matter.

They will rather try to smooth the person that is coming. And when that happens, let me tell you, a lack of a negative sympathy, a negative third party is getting into the home. Sometimes the person you are running to for counseling, it may not, if it happens to be your parents, the interpretation is worse.

The other one is suffering my son or my daughter. If it happens to be your own friends, you have already cast as passion on your partner, and your friends may begin to react to your partner. If it happens to be your neighbor, and she is careless or is careless to begin to talk to another person, but your wife or your husband, it can have a very bad, far-reaching effect.

So third parties can come into the home by various means. But normally, always, it is the two people involved that open doors to third parties. And we are praying that God will help us.

I did mention a list of third parties. By virtue of the nature of some of the third parties I mentioned, they are in a home for their own. For their own.

And any slightest opportunity for them to gain an advantage, they will. There has been so much talk, and several homes have been affected by househelps. And you know househelps, whether they are males or females, what they are seeking for is an advantage, isn't it? Househelps.

They have done so much havoc to homes, to the couples, to the children of the homes, and to property and several things. Househelps have destroyed several homes. But as we are going to be praying for the Lord to help us to know how to handle third parties, generally, the Lord will help us that even househelps will not come in between us.

So, third parties, when they come in, they do a lot of things that cause havoc in the marriage. I'm just going to be mentioning some of the things that third parties do that cause havoc to homes, to marriages. Third parties.

We are saying that if you begin to notice this in relationship with anybody, whether it be a pastor, whether it be even a disciple, whether they be even parents, if we begin to notice what is the characteristics of the oppression of third parties, whether knowingly or unknowingly the person is doing this, we can begin to stand together as couples in order to handle such a situation sooner or later. Where we'll be suffering an untold interference that may have a far-reaching effect. In Genesis chapter 16, or let me read 1 Samuel 1-7, I told you that as far as the Christian home is concerned, second wives are third parties.

In 1 Samuel 1-7, I, 1 Samuel 1-7, I, sorry, 1 Samuel 1-7, I'm opening to it. Verse 7 says, And it was year by year when she went up to the house of the Lord that she provoked her. Therefore she wept and did not eat.

And the Genesis scripture of chapter 16, Genesis 16 1-4, I think it's Genesis 16 1-4, yes. Now Sarah, Abraham's wife, had borne him no children, and she had an Egyptian maid servant, an example of a help in the home, a maid. I've told you that they caused a lot of havoc.

So Sarah said to Abraham, See now the Lord has restrained me from bearing children. Please go, please go into my maid, perhaps I shall obtain children by her. And Abraham heeded the voice of Sarah.

Then Sarah, Abraham's wife, took her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abraham to be his wife. That's a very terrible situation, isn't it? A housemaid, a maid becoming a wife. Do you know that most maids that are in homes, if they have the opportunity of Haggai, they can jump at the opportunity of Haggai? Amen.

You are not answering me now. So he went into Haggai and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, the Bible says her mistress became despised in her eyes.

We are looking at the operations and the characteristics of third parties and what they do to cause havoc in the home. If they have an opportunity, they operate in several manners, several ways. The example which we have seen here, but even much more.

For you to identify any person around you and in your marriage as a third party, that is dangerous. It is that third parties, they talk to one partner in the absence of the other. They are discussing things that affect the home or affect the partner, affect the other person, but they are doing it with only one partner in the absence of the other.

They are asking curious questions, but it is not with the couples, the two partners sitting together. Let me quickly say that the chief, the arch, third party in the home that we began to see as I mentioned in Genesis chapter 1, chapter 3 is the devil. And whosoever he can maneuver to fulfill this particular role.

You know that when Satan came to Eve, was Adam there? Satan engaged Eve and Adam was not there. And Satan began to ask Eve very pertinent questions about the dealings of God with their lives and what God said concerning their homes and how they will operate. And because Eve was alone, Satan gained an entrance.

And many times, third parties that gain entrance into our homes, they do not engage the couple, they engage one partner. Whether those third parties are even parents, one of the parents, either of the wife or of the husband, their characteristic is that they don't sit the two together. They are fond of pulling the other one apart, whether they be relatives of any of the couples, whether they be friends, they do this by pulling the other apart, pulling the one that is on their own side and talking privately to him.

And very recently, a sister was crying of her havoc, the havoc that has been done in her home. And she said, ah, the brothers will come and pull my own husband and speak to him alone. And I wouldn't know what they are saying.

The other said, when the sisters come, they will even demand that my wife should spend a night with them in a private room because they say we want to discuss. And they are discussing with the wife alone. Especially when it is a cross-cultural marriage and the other one cannot understand the language.

You can be sitting there and yet a conference is happening and you don't know what is happening. They are discussing you and are telling how you are very wicked and you will not know. It is now happening in my own home.

So don't say maybe, that's what God has helped us. As we come to handling third parties, in this the Lord has helped us. But you will notice that that is the characteristic of third parties.

They talk to one partner in the absence of the other. They seek closeness with one spouse at the expense of the other. I was noting some very terrible, dangerous third parties in the Bible that sought the closeness with one spouse.

And this time at a very big expense. Even death of the other spouse. Do you remember David? Do you remember David? Do you know David was a third party in the home of Bathsheba and Uriah? Do you remember? And we are praying that God will help us.

Because when we talk of employers, when we talk of disciples, when we talk of those who are on top of us, if we don't take time, such a relationship can develop between a wife and someone whom we are under. And we want to be speaking to the wife alone. And it has happened, brethren, that your disciple is speaking more to your wife.

And he's seeing great virtues in your wife. And he's calling your wife. That can be a third party that can be very dangerous.

In the case of David, what actually even happened is that he saw that closeness when he had finished, when he had fallen with the woman. He knew the danger that would happen if he's discovered. And all the tricks that he failed to uncover, to cover that sin, when he failed, as you know, his last chance was to eliminate Oriah.

I think, was it a Mausoleum film that I watched or someone, that the boss would just transfer the man out of town in order to be close to the wife. And as the man is coming in from this other station, will transfer her again to another station. Very dangerous third parties.

God will not allow that with any one of us to do that in the name of Jesus Christ, neither in our home. Third parties, they can operate like that. They can show that characteristic.

They enjoy it when the couples disagree or fight. There are third parties that, as they are operating in the home, the enemy has sponsored them. And if they see the partners fighting or quarreling, they know that very soon the other partner will come to me and they enjoy it.

Third parties, they cause disunity and separation. Even if it's a friend that is in the home, a friend of any of the couples, any of the partners, and is causing disunity and causing separation, even separation of opinions, separation of visions, separation of dreams, separation of anything, and of even cutting short the time that these people see to discuss together, the couples see to discuss together, and interfering with the relationship. Such is a third party, a dangerous third party.

Third parties, they can carry lies, they can tell lies, and carry rumors around concerning the marriage. And I pray that you are not here carrying rumors around concerning any marriage. They exaggerate concerning the marriage.

Third parties, they take sides with partners at the expense of the other. Some third parties, because they are enjoying some benefits, financial benefits, from the partner, one of the partners, they want to make sure that that doesn't stop, that the other partner does not discover the benefits, whatever kind of benefit, whether financial or any way. They can become financial burdens even to the couple.

Third parties normally make relationship of the partners very difficult. They blackmail the one partner, even sometimes to the other. Third parties, they will seek to be the confidants.

They are the ones who want to be telling that other partner what to do. They want him to confide in him. They are advising them.

They want to be the confidants of the partner or one partner. Those can be the characteristics of third parties in the home. If we find anybody doing this around a home or in our home, or if we unknowingly are involved in such activities around a home, we are playing a very dangerous role of a third party.

And so we want to be now looking at, if this be so, how do we handle third parties? I did say we are not going to be taking the list of third parties one by one and see how we can handle them. It's a long list. But we have studied and noted that God has given us wisdom generally in how to handle third parties.

And this is the thrust of what we are discussing in our seminar, how to handle third parties in marriage. If we notice that anybody's presence, whoever he is in our home, is not giving, is interfering with the relationship, interfering with our own relationship, they can be any kind of person at all. We are saying that even children, even biological children, are third parties.

And there are examples, even in scriptures, of how biological children cause havoc, cause hardship in the home. You remember the home of Jacob, isn't it? Do you remember Jacob's home? The biological children of Jacob? No, I mean Isaac. You remember Isaac's home? Jacob and Esau and Jacob, didn't they cause very bad hardship in that home, in relationship between Rebekah and Isaac? So even our children, if God does not help us, they become, they bring very bad interference.

And we know that children, when they know that this one has a soft spot for me, they exploit it very well, as we note. They can begin to play with mother and father, begin to play them together. And they sit back and see how they can exploit that situation for their own gain.

We are noting that when even children are not well handled, they play the role of third parties, negative third parties in the home, that can break down the relationship of the partners, that can cause a split in the oneness, oneness of decisions together. And so we, as we look at how to handle third parties in the home, I would want us to note first and foremost, that we should not allow third parties to come in between us as a couple. But as we have been told again and again, that God meant that we be one flesh.

And because we are one and we have become one flesh, we are no longer two. We cannot therefore allow anyone to come in between us, that they can only come to us. And the manual that we are studying together, I wish we have it to read even a portion of that manual, to apply it to handling third parties, even if it is parents, even if it is children, and apply it to everyone that could be a third party.

Has anybody that manual here, or you have taken it back, now that your Bible study is finished? You have. I wish you have somebody, I wish there is a second mic, and I just ask somebody to read a portion for us. I wish we read it directly from the book.

It's not necessary on handling third parties, it's an aspect of becoming one flesh, but I'm noting that if God helps us to achieve the issue of becoming one flesh, that alone will handle the issue of third parties in our homes. Is there a second mic for somebody to read for us? I will give you the reference page, and you will read a portion for us together. The fact that no one should come in between us, they rather should come to us, because who is ready to read for us? Yes, there is a brother there.

If you read, I think it's page 79, if it is the new edition, the newest edition. It is the newest edition, page 79. If you read A and B, relating where parents are relatives.

Handling third parties, even if they be parents and relatives. Okay, I read. Since you are no more two, but one flesh, your husband's parents and relatives become yours.

Is everybody hearing him? If you are hearing him, let me see your hands. Oh, thank you very much. Okay, read it now, sir.

And your parents and relatives become his. There is need to relate with them together as a couple, not as individuals any longer. Decisions about their care and responsibilities must be taken together, not alone as individuals.

Your oneness must be practically made manifest. Your parents may not like this at first, but we must obey God rather than men. What God has joined together, do not let any man put asunder.

Yes, thank you. You can sit down, hold the mic, you will read for us again the second portion. We are talking of handling third parties in our marriages, and we are applying especially to our parents.

We agree that the issue of our parents being a third party can be a very emotional matter. But there is an understanding that we are saying, if we understand the purpose for marriage, if we understand the goal of marriage, what God wants to achieve with a marriage as a means, for us to labor together in establishing the kingdom of God. And that if God fails to achieve oneness with our marriages, then there is nothing God can do with our homes.

But that if we have this correct understanding, that we are no more two, that sincerely speaking, we are one flesh, we are one person. So if that be so, my wife's father is my own father. And my own mother, when she was alive, she was her mother.

And if that be so, her brothers and sisters were my brothers and sisters, and my own brothers and sisters are her brothers and sisters. And let me say that when we were married, why am I saying when we were married? Are we not married now? So why am I saying like that? But I'm making a reference so understand me. When I took my wife home and introduced her to my mother, because my mother would not understand her, I mean long age wife, she just put her hand on her head.

I said, God! She knew I was going to do this. She had never known that I was going to do this. The way I have gone about this, my Christianity, she had always suspected that I will do her this one.

I said, which one have you been suspecting that I will do? She said, I can't even understand your wife. I said, but you are lucky now. You were understanding, you only had a son that you understand his own, understand him.

Now you have a daughter that speaks, his only English will be speaking to you. Are you not lucky? She said, yes, she knows that what I will say. I said, you only have very local daughters here.

They don't even know how to speak English. Now you are going to have one that will be speaking English to you anyhow. So what's your problem? She said, well, and she said, well, since I'm not finding it difficult, I'm not understanding her.

I said, I understand you. If you believe that I'm your son and I will not hurt you, you better just accept the fact that God knows what he's doing. My mother happened to believe the Lord.

She was born, she was born again, she was a genuine Christian. So she said, if it is God, as I'm saying it is God, then she believes God for this. Amen.

Amen. When we got wedded, the truth is that I never, when my mother came to my house for the first time after our wedding, what I did is that I left two of them. They were not understanding each other.

Everybody was looking at everybody. But I left. I said, however they will sort out themselves, let them sort out themselves.

I went together. So they found an interpreter in one of the children that was at home. So my mother will speak, this one, that's how God be our witness.

My mother never got anything from my hands. After the second visit, she knew that if she comes to the house, whether I'm the only one left, well then, they normally speak by pointing. They will be touching things if they want to.

Praise the Lord. And it was that very soon, they just must understand one another. She never received anything directly from me.

Not one. So when she comes, she knows where to go and direct her, whatever what she came for. Because I knew that if I'm the one sitting down and talking, it will be very difficult, isn't it? But that solved it.

And by the grace of God, my father-in-law is with me. And when he wants anything, he just calls me. He knows that even if he talks to my wife, she will not get that in.

So she calls me. When she wants to travel, he calls me and says, they say we should go for for one exercise back home. I'm the one he tells me.

I'm the one who makes arrangements. He went home and came back, and yesterday he was thanking me. He thanked me for the journey.

That I could find somebody to drive her home. And when she went, when he went, they didn't know who was in that black car. And she just, she was sitting inside.

They didn't know who came. It was when he opened the car that they knew that he was around. I say yes.

I say yes. Praise the Lord. No problem, because the Lord taught us this.

And we knew that's the only way we can handle our parents. That God will help us for them to know that we are one. So we are saying that decisions about their care and responsibility must be taken together.

So we're happy that they could, you know, they just knew that if it is my wife that my mother knew, she would talk to. That's where it was. She's the one who is coming and saying, look, mama said this.

And we are thinking about it together. You will stand up again and read for us, please. Be of that, that page so that we can go for from there.

Now it is even relating to children. And what is happening? Is it after five? Is it that my time has finished? I thought it is four. It's after five now.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. So read quickly, because I was looking at this time, believing I have just done. It's four o'clock.

I wonder why I don't know time again. Go ahead, sir. Children belong to God.

Just listen, because we don't have that time again. Children belong to God. They are his heritage.

We are only caretakers. Moreover, they are passers by in the home. They will soon grow up and leave you both.

Matters, matters pertaining to them must be handled together as a couple. No matter how close they are to you as a person and how much they love you and you love them. Children must not be allowed to separate between you and your wife or husband.

Even if your partner is not showing much interest, you must endeavor as much as possible to get him or her in full. Involve and secure his or her consent over issues pertaining to the children. Amen.

You see that when Jacob, sorry, when Isaac failed to approach the issue of their children as a couple, as one, you see what problem that home went through. Sincerely speaking, there was no need whatsoever to be saying we are preferring one child to the other. So why I am saying that is that even in homes where destiny, like we saw that of Isaac, when they could not understand and apply what we are reading here, there was much struggle.

So God must help us that we know that children, they are not even, they are the heritage of the Lord. We are only caretakers. And so if somebody gives you something to take care of and you are preferring one and not thinking highly of the other, is it, are they your own? Who asked you to put such values on children when they are the heritage of the Lord? So matters concerning them must be handled together.

And so I will just mention points of the fact that our time is finished. It then means that if as we are noting that we are one, we are not two, as always pertaining to every, every, sorry, every third party, we must stand as one. We must stand in unity.

For that reason, I wanted us to know that for us to stand as one and to put the third party where it belongs, they must constantly see us as one. I love the way that this Isaac that I'm talking about handled the third party, whether he was deliberate about it or not, but he shows us how to handle a third party. You remember that in Genesis 26, verse six to 10, when Isaac displayed his love for Rebekah publicly, he handled an issue of a third party that was going to interfere in that marriage, Abimelech.

They had come and Isaac had said this in fear of losing his life. He said, this is my sister. But one day, Abimelech was watching through his window and he saw Isaac playing sport with Rebekah.

Ah, Abimelech, this person deceived me. And he came down and told Isaac, you deceived me. The way I saw you playing with this woman, you, I'm sure it's not your sister, it's your wife.

Are you getting me? And if you read that question and say, why did you do this kind of thing to us? We would have finished. When you display your love very publicly, very plainly to third parties, do you know that they will know we have no space here? Are you with me? Display your love to your wife, to your husband, publicly in front of them. Whoever has hope will recall.

They will just know that these two people, they are setting a trap for me so that if I come around, they will deal with me. They will see how they are loving one another. Display your love.

Are we together? Don't expose your naked, don't expose the nakedness of your spouse to a third party. Did you hear what I'm saying? In Genesis 2, 25, the Lord said they were both naked. As far as it was in between them, they were not ashamed.

But if a third party came in, what would have happened? They would have been ashamed depending on whose nakedness would have been exposed to the third party. So you cannot go about discussing your spouse to anybody. In this case, not even to her parents.

She will be ashamed. You would have been causing something. Lack of confidence.

Lack of confidence even in you. So what then will you do if we must not disrespect your wife before third party? If we must not expose her nakedness? When there is an issue of third party, take the case of third party to God in prayer. I am cutting this short because of our time.

If there is a case of third party, as in 1 Samuel 1, 9-10, Hannah had a case of third party, as I read, that this woman provoked her soul. And I saw that Hannah didn't, I didn't see one single word that Hannah was exchanging weapon in her. Rather, the Bible says, Hannah also prayed soul.

Hannah took that case, whatever was the matter that she was being provoked. Hannah didn't accuse Benina. Hannah didn't fight Benina.

Hannah didn't do anything to Benina. Hannah just took that case to the Lord. And let me tell you, we read yesterday that God knows that marriage is honorable.

And anybody that wants to interfere with marriage, it is God who will handle it for him, who will handle it. Third party matters of third parties are what we should take to the Lord in prayer. And if we are not fighting them, if we are not misbehaving, insulting and shouting on the streets, then we know that, ah, my home is being affected.

And Lord, we must do something about it. When that happens, God certainly will interfere and intervene. Don't disgrace your wife or your husband before third party, but rather cherish, cherish her, cherish him, as Ephesians 5, 29 says.

In the same Ephesians, God has taught us that we should appreciate our spouse in their presence. I thought I could take one more scripture to exhort us concerning third parties, but I, I'm just thinking that, I'm just knowing that even third parties, if God has helped us as one, and we, we become, we know that we are no more two, we are one flesh, and we, and do not allow, not at neither children, parents, friends, employers, anybody to come in between us. And if they will come at all to come to us, and if they are exciting negative influence, we are embracing our own spouse and praying about it, appreciating our spouse, sharing our open love to our spouse.

The Lord who has decided that marriage is his own project to watch, he will not allow any havoc done in our home by the third party, by his grace. But let me tell you that the negative attitude that we have developed towards, especially our parents, let me call now in-laws, we are players of fall down and die, has become the matter, especially with, with sisters, that we are just generally suspicious that every, every mother-in-law is a, is a witch. No.

I saw in Isaiah 58, as I will read without much comment now, that rather God must help us to have a change of mind and rather pray than get scared about third parties because really it can be an opportunity for your blessing. Let me read very quickly verse 7. The kind of fast, the kind of worship that God is expecting, is it not to share your bread with the hungry and that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out when you see the naked, that you cover him and not hide yourself from your own flesh. Let me say the Bible said, then your light shall break forth like the morning.

Your healing shall break forth speedily and your righteousness shall go before you. The glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you shall call and the Lord will answer.

You shall cry and he will hear you. It will take away the yoke from your midst and the pointing of finger and speaking wickedness. If you extend your soul to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted soul, then your light shall dawn in the darkness and your darkness shall be as the noonday.

Amen. We are generally now guided by fear. I'm seeing that we are becoming so, anybody approaching our home, we are so, I don't know, we are just afraid.

Everybody is a witch, everybody is doing damage, everybody is something, no. Let me say, we must have very positive because that's, sincerely speaking, that's why we are couples. God has put us together so that we will nourish, we will bring up man.

That's the reason God has put us together as a unit of ministry. So rather than developing a phobia for all relatives, for all friends, for all these things that will come to the home, I ended by saying, take the issue of, take parties to the Lord in prayer. Even if they be negative, let me tell you, if you are standing together, that home will minister to such men.

The Bible say, why has the Lord put us together? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry? And that you bring to your house the poor, who are cast out. So if you have your relatives and they are poor and they are cast out, instead of developing a phobia that is enveloping the church, enveloping the Christian home, why can't we believe God and know that the Bible say, when you bring them home, and you hide not yourself from your flesh, then your light shall break forth like the morning and your healing shall spring forth swiftly. Let me say, the Bible say, and you will cry to the Lord, you will go unto the Lord and the Lord will answer you.

You shall cry and he will hear you. He will say, here am I. Do you want God? To be answering your prayers, always as a couple. I would rather have us have a very positive attitude towards our relatives that can constitute third party and take them home.

And if our heart is saturated with prayer and we can receive direction, then the last recommendation that I was about to do which is publica, you will do under the guidance of the law that any third party who is stubbornly interfering with the home and would not change, then cast him out. Are we together? If we read Haggai's story, after all is said and done, that woman with her child was cast out. There were three third parties.

Haggai herself was distressing and despising Sarah. Then the child, when he came, he was coughing and laughing and jesting all over, laughing at the home. Then the Lord himself supported the fact that he be cast out.

If a third party is consistently and bent on destroying the home, the marriage, then the handling of that party is to cast him out. Under the guidance of the Lord, not under fear. In Jesus' name, amen.

Let us pray together. Let us pray together. I don't know whether the Lord has... Let us stand up.

Let us pray. I want us to thank God. Just thank God for coming to us the way He has come.

I want you to appreciate God. Thank God for the wisdom of the scriptures. Let us ask God to write these instructions in our hearts.

Let us ask God to give us a deeper understanding and to interpret it to us as it applies to our personal situation. Let us pray. Let us ask God for grace.

Let us ask God for grace to obey these instructions. So simple, yet so profound. Thank you, Father, for revealing to us the things that make for our peace.

Oh, God, thank you. Help me, O God, not to argue with your word, not to rationalize your word. Help me just to trust and obey.

In Jesus' name, we have prayed. Our Father, we are grateful for your servant you have used to bless us. We thank you for how you came through him so simply.

Thank you for the understanding you gave us. Thank you, O God, for the light of your word. Father, we ask for grace to obey your word.

We ask, O God, that we will not adjust your word to suit our purpose. We will adjust our lives to suit your word in the name of Jesus. Our Father, we pray against any negative third party that is doing havoc in our homes.

We ask for wisdom to address them in the name of Jesus Christ. And those that are stubborn, to repent, give us the boldness to cast them away in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank you very much.

Please bless your servant. In Jesus' name, we have prayed. Don't sit down, don't sit down.

You have been sitting down for a long time. What a mighty God you are. Hallelujah.

What a mighty God you are. Hallelujah. Heaven and earth adore you.

Angels bow before you. Oh, what a mighty God you are. You are a mighty God.

Mighty God you are. You are a mighty God. Mighty God you are.

Even the angels bow before you. What a mighty God you are. What a mighty God you are.

You are a mighty God. What a mighty God you are. Hallelujah.

Heaven and earth adore you. Angels bow before you. What a mighty God you are.

Sing it two more times. What a mighty God you are. Hallelujah.

What a mighty God you are. Hallelujah. Heaven and earth adore you.

Even the angels bow before you. What a mighty God you are. Sing it one more time.

What a mighty God you are. Hallelujah. What a mighty God you are.

Hallelujah. Heaven and earth adore you. Even the angels bow before you.

What a mighty God you are. Praise the Lord. Amen.

Amen.