Pray While God Can Still Be Found

I was saved close to about two years ago in June. This upcoming June will be the two-year mark. Yeah, praise God, praise God. For 11 years of my life, I lived a life in homosexuality. I was a homosexual. And not just a homosexual, but I also, as I got older in my 20s, I started to drink very heavily and I smoked weed heavily. And through this period of time, my family, my mother in particular, has always been there and she's always nudged me to God. And my family never shunned me. My family never threw me out. They never pushed me away, but they were always very clear that, Irina, you're living a life of sin. And Irina, you will go to hell if you continue living this life of sin. And it wasn't in a rude way that they were saying it, it was just the truth. And so through those 11 years, I knew that my lifestyle was going to lead me straight to hell and I was okay with it. The last year, I really kind of, before God saved me, I really kind of went off the deep end. And I met this girl and everything was so perfect and the life that we kind of were building together was so perfect. And I told God at that point in my life, I was like, God, I don't want anything to do with you. I don't want you to intervene or to put your hand in my life in any way at all. And I know that this life is gonna lead me straight to hell, but I'm okay with it because I'm gonna make the most happiness in this life on earth. And I really, when I say, I made my life for myself, I made my life for myself and I lived it to the fullest that I could possibly live it. And even though I was trying to make it for myself and every time that I would make it for myself, things would fall apart. And that last year, I moved in with this girl and everything was good and perfect. And there was a two-week period before God saved my life that I didn't know it at the time, but during these two weeks, my mother found out where I lived and in the home that I lived in with this woman. And for two weeks at night, she would just drive in her car and circle the neighborhood and my house. And she would, amen, praise God. She would just pray and she would just pray. And the first week that relationship broke up out of nowhere, praise God. And the second week, by the end of that week, I remember I was on the floor laying in a room with all my things around me and I was just crying and I was angry. I was angry at God because I knew it was God. And I was like, I told you I want nothing to do with you. And here, you just mess everything up. That was my viewpoint. And I was so angry and I was a mess and I was crying, but I felt like I just, I needed to call my sister and reach out to her. And I called my sister and I reached out to her and we had a long conversation and I was crying a lot. And in this conversation, at a certain point, she said, Irina, come back home. We love you. And that's all I needed to hear. And so my other sister and her husband that came to the house, I was at in a half hour. We got everything out of the house that was mine and I was back home. Praise God. Yeah. But for an entire month, that entire month of May, I was so angry at God and I wouldn't like, I wouldn't give up being angry at Him for destroying something that I finally thought I had that was so good. And I got more into alcohol, like a lot worse and a lot worse into smoking weed. And I just kind of came to a complete, a new low. And somehow at the end of May for three days straight, I was sober, which was really weird. But on that third day, it was a Sunday and it was the first Sunday of June. And that Sunday I wake up and I'm making my hair and I was like, you know, a thought came into my mind of like, maybe I should just go to church. And it was God. And I know it was God. And I kind of bargained with God. And I was like, God is kind of late. If I get my hair done on time, I'll go. I got my hair done on time. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm going. So I went, I went into that church. I walked in, I walked down the aisle, I sat in the seat and I heard the hymns that they were singing and they just pierced my heart. They just pierced my heart. And I just started crying and weeping. And I gave my life to God and I gave it all. I surrendered it all. Praise God. Amen. Amen. I walked out. I walked out of that church different. Like, I don't know how to explain what happened, but I was different inside. I was different. And God gave me freedom from the things that used to hold me. And not to say that struggles didn't come my way because they did and they still do. But now there is power. There is authority because I am his child. And so, you know, um, I know that there is somebody watching. I know that there is somebody watching who is in my exact shoes. I know that there is somebody who um, has been years in this lifestyle and they have tried on their own to make it work. And it somehow doesn't always work. It's, there's some low and there's some emptiness in you. I know you're there. I know you hear this and I know that you think that this is impossible, but it's not impossible. And I know that there is somebody, whether it is your mother or your father or your family or a friend, there's somebody praying for you. And I know today, I know if you just surrender, and if you just give your life to him, and if you just give everything to him, he will make something beautiful out of that mess. I believe it. And I know it. And, um, you know, earlier this week, um, my friend and I, uh, we, we opened up Matthew 7, 7, it kind of was random. And it says, ask, and it will be given to you, seek, and you will find, knock, and it will be open to you. And today I was walking with Pastor Teresa and she said these exact words. And I was like, God, it's you. And, um, so, you know, I'm just going to leave it where it's at right now. And I, I'm just going to pray, Lord God, Jesus, Lord God, I, I pray Lord God, that you give freedom today, Lord God, that you give freedom from those who are Lord in bondage to addiction for you give freedom who to those who are living the homosexual lifestyle. And they see that they can't, they can't do it. And it's not working no matter how much they try Lord God, Lord God, give them that hope. God, Lord, give them even the ability to surrender to you and just give up trying to make it on their own Lord God, because there's an emptiness that comes with the life, Lord God, in that sin, Lord God, there's a trying to fill it and make it on your own Lord God. And it never works because Lord God, we were made for you, God, Jesus, we were made to Lord God, worship you, Lord Jesus. So I just pray Lord God for the youth of this nation, Lord God, who, who are even struggling with their identity, who are struggling with if they're straight or not Lord Jesus in the society in this world is telling them that it's okay to be gay. And it's okay to live that lifestyle, Lord God, I pray against that Lord God, and I just pray that churches begin to rise up. Lord God, I pray Lord God that pulpits Lord God at pulpits or God people begin to speak about the truth God, Lord Jesus, I pray Lord God that the fear in the churches goes away, Lord God, and people take a stand God, Jesus, Lord God, Lord, these youth are looking for a way out, Lord Jesus, Lord God, and the enemy is robbing them. He's robbing them of their joy, Lord God, in you, Lord God, he's robbing them of their true identity in you, Lord Jesus. So I pray Lord God, restore the church, Lord God, put people behind pulpits who really seek you God, and take away those Lord God who are speaking lies, Lord Jesus, Lord God, Lord Jesus, it's time for truth to come. Lord Jesus, it's time Lord for freedom to come Lord for chains to break God, so I just pray for that, Lord Jesus, I pray for those who are interceding Lord God, for those mothers who are praying for their daughters, Lord God, Lord Jesus, I pray God give them the ability to stand steadfast in their prayer God, Lord Jesus, Lord God, only you know why some go through that life for 11 years, some only one, and some only a few months, Lord Jesus, and it's for a reason, and you redeem it all, but Lord God, give them Lord the ability to stand steadfast in the prayer, Lord God, and when things look completely messed up, and like there is no way that my daughter or my son will come to you, Lord, they will, Lord Jesus, you will restore, Lord Jesus, Lord God, you hear each prayer, Lord God, and we, Lord God, we must put our faith in you, Lord, because it's only something that you can do, Lord, and there is hope, and there is freedom, Lord God, from that life, there is freedom from homosexuality, Lord Jesus, Lord God, and the enemy makes us, Lord, think that there's no freedom, but there is freedom, Lord God, Lord, I pray that more people like me rise up and begin to speak, that there's freedom, hallelujah, Jesus, there's freedom, Jesus, Lord God, Lord Jesus, I thank you, Jesus, Lord, I thank you, Jesus, Lord God, I thank you for saving me, Jesus, I thank you for taking me out, Lord Jesus, Lord God, and I pray, Lord God, just make a move, and make a way, Lord God, and Lord Jesus, give hope, Lord Jesus, give hope to those who feel hopeless in it, Father Jesus, Lord God, restore the families, Father, Lord God, I thank you, Jesus, I thank you so much, Jesus, pray in your holy name, amen. Now, I'm speaking specifically, I have as much of a leading tonight as anybody that stood in this pulpit, and I leaned over to Pastor Teresa a little earlier after hearing Irina's testimony, I said, God surely is speaking tonight to all of us in unusual ways, because we are living in the last days, I believe that, Christ is coming soon, and we're going to see the glory and the power of God, as we sang just now, behold the glory, we're going to see God make a way through the seas, God's going to make a way through the fire, He's going to do things in this generation that only God can do. I want to read to you from Psalm 32 this evening, Psalm 32, so Father God, I'm asking you, anoint your word tonight, especially for, as Irina said earlier, there is somebody listening tonight who's in a hopeless situation, God Almighty, I ask you, we ask you, as a people this evening, here at our Bible school, we ask you to stretch your hand out and anoint your word tonight, and cause the heart of this person or these persons to yield to you this evening, and Father, we thank you for it, in Jesus name, amen. Psalm 32, a song of King David, some commentators would say that David, this was a song of contemplation that he wrote about the season in his life where he had sinned, and he tried to hide it from God, and he starts out by saying, blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered, blessed is the man or the woman, may I add to that, to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit, in other words, David is saying blessed, now David has obviously, when he writes this, he's re-understanding the blessing of God, maybe he's lost in a sense, for a measure in his life, that sense of God's favor, but he's now come back, as Irina said, for those that have listened to this testimony earlier tonight, as Irina said, there was a point where she knew, she was raised in the church, and knew, and had somewhat of a relationship with God, but then through the sin in her life, she lost that relationship, and actually tried to push against it, only to find out that you, you can only push so far against the love of God, I'm telling you, God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, may I just add something to that, God so loved the world, that he's not going to give up on you, no matter who you are, or how much you try to push him away, he's such a gentleman, he said to one of the churches in Revelation, he said, behold I stand at the door, and I knock, and the one thing I know about Jesus, if you don't answer, he'll come back the next day, and knock, and if you don't answer, he'll come back the next day, and knock, and then he'll knock at two in the morning, and then he'll knock at six in the morning, he'll stand at the door, and knock until you finally open the door, and go what, what is it that you want, and the son of God says, I want you, I came to get you, I died on the cross for you, I suffered the penalty of what you've deserved, for all you've done, I took it upon myself, and if you will just give your life to me, I will cleanse you, David said, blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, in other words, the stain of living apart from God, and all that that is, is gone, it's absolutely gone, it's not imputed anymore, isn't that amazing, like completely covered, and even when we fall, it's still covered, and whose spirit, there is no deceit, in other words, I'm not trying to hide from God, I'm not plea bargaining with God, I'm not making excuses to God, I'm just going to be honest with God about what I am, who I am, and where I am, David says in verse three, when I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long, have you ever been there, anybody here ever been there, in a place where God is after something, you will not yield it to him, you will not agree with God, you will not say that I should be turning from this, and there's this sense of oldness comes on you, and if you don't know it yet, young people that are here, just wait till you get to my age, you'll know what feeling old is like, and how your bone, I know what it's like to have groaning bones first thing in the morning, but David's talking about a season in his life, where God is after something that he's not willing at this point to yield, and he says, when I kept silence, my bones grew old through my groaning all day long, for day and night your hand was heavy upon me, and my vitality or my strength was turned into the drought of summer, everything in a sense that I thought I was, all the strength I thought I had, all the false joy that living in sin brought into my life suddenly just dissipated, and you know there's a passage of scripture that talks about the bed is too short, and the cover is, the cover doesn't cover you when you go to bed at night, and your feet are sticking out the end, and you no matter what you try to do, you just simply can't get comfortable, and that's what God will do when he's after us, when he's wanting something confessed from our lives, and then David goes on in verse 5, he says, I acknowledge my sin to you, and my iniquity I have not hidden, I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and you forgave the iniquity of my sin, and his sin was grievous by the way, he had murdered him, he had arranged for a man's murder after he had taken and impregnated his wife, I mean it just doesn't get any worse, the sweet psalmist of Israel who once came into the camp, and took on a giant, and brought great great victory into the camp of Israel, the one who knew the presence of God, and knew how to write beautiful beautiful songs and psalms, suddenly this came into his heart in the season of spiritual laziness, and he ended up doing things that he never ever thought he was going to do, and one day a prophet came into his chamber where he was, and he started speaking to him about, he said a certain person in the kingdom, he said he had all these all these lambs that he could have he could have taken at his leisure for whatever need he had, and he said there was another man only had one little lamb, and he loved it like his own child, and it slept in his arms at night, and the rich man went and took the poor man's lamb, and slaughtered it, and used it for his own use, and David that says his anger his anger was roused, and he said whoever has done this will pay four times over, and Nathan as a matter of fact the prophet looked at him and said David you're the man, you're the one who did this, you know you you all these things that God has provided for you, and and you fraudulently took what belonged to somebody else, and you used it for your own lust, and David said I acknowledge my sin, yeah I love David's response, immediately says I've sinned against the Lord, even though for a season he tried to cover it up, maybe pretend it wasn't all that bad, after all I am the king, and after all this is this kingdom was given to me by God, and so and all kinds of soldiers die in the war, so so what's what's one more death, what does it really matter to God, we we do invent all these excuses when we're not living right before God, for why we are doing what we're doing, but as he said day and night your hand was heavy upon me, the beauty of God is that he doesn't live outside of relationship with him, if we truly in our hearts want to love him, if there's just a little spark in our heart to want to love God, and I'm speaking to people that are online tonight, because you wouldn't be on this meeting if you didn't have a spark in your heart, you certainly wouldn't have been here this long, you're now listening to me, we're now we've been with you now an hour and 20 minutes and you're still here, if you really hated God as as your mind is trying to convince you that you might do, you wouldn't still be here, because you do have a a spark in your heart for God, and he does love you, and he's not willing to let you go, and he will keep his hand upon you, not to the point where you can't you can't handle it anymore, or considering even doing something to yourself that you would regret, but David said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the iniquity of my sin, and he said for this cause in verse 6, everyone who is godly shall pray to you in a time you when you may be found, David says this is how everyone will pray, when you can be found, and tonight those that are listening online to this, this has been for you, I'm telling you straight out, the Lord has just kind of interrupted our whole evening for you, because he knew that you were going to be here, he knew that you were going to have your cell phone in your hand, or you're going to have your laptop open, whatever it is that you're you're watching or listening, he actually knew if you're watching this this this message now three days after it's actually happened, he knew you were going to be listening to this, and he arranged for you to be able to hear these words, so that you might know that he loves you, so that you might know that if you will just confess your need of a savior, that's all he's asking of you, you don't have to run around the block six times, you don't have to do penance, you don't have to do any of these things, just confess your need of a savior, God I can't save myself, I can't get myself out of this, what I have done is wrong, the way I've been living is wrong, the things I've been doing are wrong, your word describes them as wrong, it's caused a pain in my heart, and tonight Lord Jesus Christ, I want to say thank you for not giving up on me, thank you for not forgetting me, I'm at home, and I'm sitting in my living room, and I'm all alone, and I'm looking at that bottle, or that drug, or whatever it is after this prayer meeting is over, thinking of going back to it, I feel so hopeless, so lost, but God's speaking to you tonight, saying you're not hopeless, and I have come to get you, and if I found you, then you're not lost anymore, if I found you, if I've come to your door, if I've come to your heart, all I'm asking you to do is just acknowledge that you can't save yourself, acknowledge that you need a savior, acknowledge that there is a right way to live, and that's not the way you've been living, there's a way that seems right unto a man, the scripture says, but the ways, the end thereof of that particular way is death, but Jesus said I've come to give you life, and I've come to give it to you more abundantly, and he said for this is the way everyone who's godly shall pray to you in a time when you may be found, now listen to the promises to you that start to come out of the word of God, he says surely in a flood of great waters they shall not come near him, we just sang about that, surely in in a time of difficulty, surely when when all this world spins out into crisis, surely when in a season where the bible says that people's hearts will begin to fail them because of the fear that comes upon them for the things that are happening on the earth, these floods of the ungodly will not touch you, that's the promise of God, you're going to see my glory in the midst of this flood, you're going to see my ability to keep you, you're going to understand I'm going to place you in my hand, and I'm going to walk with you through every trial, every fire, every flood, everything you'll ever, that will ever come against you, I'm going to take you in the palm of my hand, and they will not overthrow you, David says you are my hiding place, and you will preserve me from trouble, and you will surround me with songs of deliverance, praise God, it won't be just on Wednesday night in the chapel, but God David says you will surround me, there'll be this continuous song in your heart, this song that God is singing, he'll allow you to join in, but it's his song, it's not yours, now you give it to you to sing, but he will surround you with songs of deliverance, that singing in the heart of God, where he's saying I'm not going to fail you, I'm not going to forsake you, I'm not going to leave you, I have a divine purpose for your life, you will not be overcome by wickedness, and this is a song in the sense that God says I'm singing it over you, and I'm going to allow you in a sense or invite you to hum it along with me, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will guide you, he says with my eye, don't be like the horse or the mule that have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, or they will not come near, he said don't be stubborn, just come to me, come to me, everyone who thirsts, come to me, he's calling now, there's a tender voice of God going out through the earth, he's calling his people, he's calling those who can still hear, that's why the scripture says today if you can hear his voice, don't harden your heart as the children of Israel once did in the wilderness when he was trying to speak to them, and he was speaking softly to them, but they couldn't hear him, they wouldn't listen, many sorrows he says will be to the wicked, but he who trusts in the Lord, mercy will surround him, be glad in the Lord and rejoice you righteous, and shout for joy all you who are upright in heart, God says not, I'm not going to give you a song to hum along, but I'm going to give you a shout in your heart, you're going to walk through the midst of the flood, the fire, the trial, the difficulty, whatever comes your way, and there will be a shout of victory, a shout, hallelujah, you scared me when you did that, there'll be a shout of victory in your heart, just as Jesus Christ, just before he gave up his last breath, he shouted, it is finished, the condemner is finished, the lies of the devil are finished, the fear of the future is finished, the rubbing your face in your past is finished, there's no more iniquity, there's no imputation of sin, there's a song in your heart, be glad in the Lord you righteous, and shout for joy all you who are upright in heart, praise be to God, that's absolutely true, and this is the message that God has sent this whole prayer meeting this evening to somebody, as Irina said it tonight, she said, I know that somebody is listening, I know it too, somebody is listening, somebody that needs to be set free, somebody that needs to say, God, I want to thank you for not letting me find peace in my lifestyle, I want to thank you for not letting me find peace in my sin, I want to thank you for knocking on the door of my heart morning, noon, and night, and not letting me go, and tonight I'm going to fulfill the scripture that David the king once wrote, and I'm going to say, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, I'm going to pray a prayer to confess that I need a savior, and my the way I've been living is not right, I'm going to believe Lord Jesus Christ that you died for me, you were buried, and three days later you were raised by the power of God from the dead, to prove to me, and to promise to me, that as you were raised from the dead, I too will be raised out of death, and brought into newness of life, and I will, as Irina has done tonight, I will confess you from this day forward as my Lord, and the savior of my life, so I'm going to ask everybody here tonight to just pray this prayer out loud, for the benefit of whoever that person or persons are online tonight, that need to pray, and ask Jesus Christ to be their Lord, and their savior, I'm going to pray this prayer, and you who are online, you just simply pray it along with me, say these words, Lord Jesus Christ, I thank you tonight, for loving me, so much, that you came to get me, even when I have resisted you, and when I tried to push you away, you wouldn't go away, because you love me, and you wanted to save me, and forgive me, you wanted to take me home, to be with you in heaven, forever, and so tonight Jesus, I open my heart to you, I invite you to come into my life, to be my Lord, my savior, and my God, from this day forward, I call you Lord, and I give you my life, and you give me your covering, and your forgiveness, I will serve you, all the days of my life, speak to me, and I will follow, I love you Jesus, and I thank you tonight for loving me, in your precious name, amen, and amen, praise God, thank you Lord, thank you Lord, we're going to go to the communion table in just a moment, if you prayed that at home tonight, and you really meant that, I want you to do one thing, just text the word connect to 51,000, just go ahead and do that, just text connect to 51,000, and let somebody from Times Square Church get a hold of you, it'll be an email, and just let us help you get started in your walk with God, we want you to know we love you, and listen, we're not a whole pile of holy people here in this church, we're just regular sinners saved by grace, just like you, okay, we've all got a story, we've all got a background, we've all done stuff that we regret, but we've all opened our hearts, and let Jesus Christ save us, and cleanse us from our past sin, and make us into new creations, and so we invite you to take this journey with us, you don't have to be perfect to take the journey, just be sincere, that's all, just say I want to, and if you fall down, we'll help God to pick you up, and you'll have God to pick us up if we fall, but we're going to walk this journey together, you're not going to be alone anymore.