In this sermon, the preacher emphasizes the importance of clear guidance for young people in these end times. He expresses a deep desire for God to visit and meet the needs of every individual, regardless of age or spiritual state. The preacher prays for the presence and voice of God to be equally experienced by all, and for hearts to be washed in the blood of Christ and filled with the Holy Spirit. The sermon then focuses on a passage from Ephesians 5, highlighting the concept of two becoming one in marriage and drawing a parallel to Christ and the Church being one.

Let's have another short prayer now. Father, thank thee that we as thy children can be here, and thank thee for thy Father heart. Thank thee thou art not just a God with a rod to destroy someone who puts a step out of line, not even to destroy someone who falls into the deepest, darkest sin. Father, we are thy children, and thou hast arms of love as any father, but a billion times more compassionate, and thou dost know from afar of where our thoughts come from, even we don't know. We're confused at sin, so much of it, and failure, and the loss of the effectiveness of our own testimony when all we wanted to do was bring glory to God. We're stunned at ourselves at times, shocked and so staggered and confused how we who love could fail him so terribly. Forgive us, God, and in thy grace, which we know already is beyond comprehension how so much grace could be shown to each one of us. There's none of us in the school of God that aren't marveling at the long-suffering, the patience, the mercy of God the Father to us as his children. We come to thee in adoration and ask thee that as weak as we are, with all our failures that thou hast known and thought in word and in deed, in spite of all these things, we pray with confidence, not with doubt, come minister to us again. Come lift us up. Come give us light where there's darkness, understanding where there's confusion, hope, hope where there's despair, faith where there's unbelief, healing where there's wounds that just can't seem to be healed, that just keep on bleeding and festering and rendering us helpless to get up and go on. Come visit us, Lord, every one of us, as thou hast known our needs as different as they are by the miracle of God and his sovereignty and greatness. Come visit every heart, young, children, old, unsaved, and the godliest of all. Visit us equally with the consciousness of the presence of God and the voice of God. Keep us under the blood of Christ now, and wash me deeply in the blood of Christ now. Fill me with the Holy Spirit. Take thy word, the letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life. Give life, God, for no man can. Give life to every heart through this book. Give revelation and seeds and fruit as a result, that thy word will not return unto thee void tonight in any single soul that sits here that is of the age of reckoning and understanding and able to grasp God's grace by faith. We all ask these things in the name that we love, in the name we live for, in the name that we gladly die for, in the name of Jesus, Christ, God the Son, God the Creator, God the Savior, God the coming judge of this world. In his name and for his glory, we ask these things of thee, our Father in heaven, unitedly. Amen. Now thank you for those mothers that so kindly did go to the room, in mercy upon this man, and for reverence of God's word. I'm going to read tonight from Ephesians, a very lovely book, chapter 5. I'd love to read the whole of the book of Ephesians, I'd love to read the whole of chapter 5, but for want of time I can't. And so I'm going to ask us to turn just in this lovely chapter that is almost a grief to leave one word out of, because the whole thing builds up to one climatic statement, aiming at one amazing, amazing concept of Christianity. And I want us to look from verse 31. Oh, verse 31. For this cause, for this cause, and for this cause only, shall a man leave his father and mother, unless in that home, that God-fearing home, everyone unitedly agrees it's God's will, if it's for another cause that could possibly occur in life. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife. They too shall be one flesh. What an amazing statement. In God's eyes, they become one forever, forever. They too shall be one flesh. Somehow it's linked in its context to how Christ and the church are one, willing for any sacrifice in the context of all the books leading up to this, to be one. This is a great mystery. The next verse says, but I speak concerning Christ and his church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, so care as you would for your needs, and wouldn't face discomfort without going to every effort to make sure that is dealt with. In such love, that no matter what sacrifice, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. The word her is an italics. I would say that she reverence such a husband who doesn't make it hell on earth to be able to reverence him, but his life commands that she has to reverence him. Such a man as this, that would love her even as Christ loved the church, which is staggering, and gave himself for, you think of what Christ is asking the husband, there's no such a thing as a woman being trampled on, would just be nothing. Oh, the man is expected to be so. That's why God expects a woman to so reverence him, if you look at the context, sir. Children, the next verse says, obey your parents, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right, this is right, God says. God says, honor thy father, that's beyond obeying, there's something about honoring, there's the highest form of nobility given from a child to her parents or his parents. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayst live long on the earth. Ye fathers, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. Don't make them angry through your failure and incompetence, your inability to control, through your loss of control, through your unchristlikeness and unjustness that results as a result of you not being absolutely controlled by God, and in your failure, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. Don't through your life bring them to be angry against God and man and send them to hell, sir, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Let God bring them up through you, literally, to a yielded life. Let the Spirit of God show them control of you, that all they see is the fruit of the Spirit, no matter how trying the circumstances. Do you know what the fruit of the Spirit is? You may say love, all these things. No, that's not the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit in essence, in its context, in light of all scriptures, is Christ. Holiness is Christ. Full stop. If holiness is anything else, it's heresy, if it's the way you dress, that you think is holiness, that will make you acceptable as someone modest. Oh, dress is wonderful if it's modest, if it separates from worldly fashion, praise God, but that's not holiness. You can be dressed like a nun and sit in a monastery and be a monster. If you're not Christlike in your home, your children will look upon your dress with a cold sense of hell. They will look upon something ugly. Holiness, if it isn't Christlikeness, is ugliness. It's separational, judgmental, legalistic ugliness. Holiness is Christ. Full stop. Full stop. Beyond that, anything else, praise God, enhances Christ and Christianity, but take that away and everything else becomes damnable to the people you influence, beginning in the home, with your idea of holiness. If it's not Christlikeness, the devil will use it to send people to hell, who come near you, who will hate Christianity, because there is some Christianity that you tell the children they need, and they look at and don't want it. If it isn't Christlikeness, anything else you touch of what you think is holiness is ugliness. The fruit of the Spirit is Christ. Holiness is Christ. The standard of the New Testament, the fulfilled light of God's heart to man of the whole Bible, the whole standard of the New Testament is Christ, to be conformed into the image of his Son, is all that matters to God in your life. Christlikeness. I want to speak to you tonight, I want to speak to you tonight on the Christian home. I want to speak to you tonight on the Christian home, but specifically to look at the sins of the home, the sins of the Christian home. And I feel that to be able to safely speak on such a sensitive and sorrowful subject as this, we need to begin from before marriage occurs, from the outset of marriage, to be safe in the subject of the sins of the Christian home. We need to commence this sermon from before marriage occurs, from the outset of marriage, otherwise we're not going to be safe yet. Be not unequally yoked, be not unequally yoked or joined together with unbelievers. God pleads with his people in the Old Testament. Be not unequally yoked or joined together with unbelievers. God pleads with his people in the Old Testament. And in the New Testament, Paul cautions us and says, if anyone wills to marry, if anyone needs to marry, let him, let him, but let him marry in the Lord. Those three words, in the Lord. You miss those three words, you stand in danger of missing God's protection for the rest of your life. You could weep for the rest of your life if you missed those three words. Let him be sure it's marrying in God's will. It's the will of God. Oh, be not unequally yoked or joined with unbelievers. God, in compassion and love and pity, pleads with those who belong to him, who belong to him. In Genesis 26 verse 34, Esau, Esau took two wives, Judah, the Hittite, and Bathsheba, the Hittite, which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and Rebekah. The margin says, a bitterness of spirit. They became a bitterness in their spirit. They were a grief of mind unto Isaac and Rebekah, Esau's godly father and mother. Their son's marriage caused his parents great grief and concern. Oh, how many godly parents have groaned daily before God from their child's birth. How many godly parents have groaned daily before God that their son would one day marry a godly woman, that their daughter would one day marry a godly man. From before birth there's a multitude and multitudes of godly parents who have prayed groaning before God daily, equally of what they pray for their child. They pray for that person who one day, who right now they don't know where he or she is growing up, facing the same devil, the same evil world, evil influences. They pray earnestly for that child to be kept pure and noble, to meet with Christ, to be molded by the Holy Spirit, that when that moment comes, that that person comes along their child's life and crosses their child's path, that that person will not bring sorrow and grief and destroy their child's testimony that had been so protected in that home of yours, destroy that child's happiness till the day he or she dies. Oh, they pray earnestly, daily, equally, seeking God for that person that one day would come. I have prayed since before my sons were born. I have prayed for those people who are going to come in their lives so earnestly. I have wept as I realize that 80% of every single marriage on earth has ended in divorce in the last 15 years on this earth, outside of Muslims. I have prayed earnestly. I remember being in the home of Andrew Murray, the great godly Andrew Murray in South Africa, his descendants. I know their great-grandchildren of Andrew Murray, young Andrew Murray in South Africa was my best man at our wedding. We're close friends. What a godly boy. But one of the other children of the Murray clan, a young girl who married this fellow who's now a minister, a godly minister, but he didn't come from a godly home. When I was preaching one day about someone prayed for you, if you're saved, don't doubt that. Don't doubt if you find someone prayed for you. We as a home were smashed and crippled and devoured for so many years, but we found three houses from us. We're godly people who never dared to venture into our home, but they knew of the sorrows. They heard the whole neighborhood kind of knew. We found they'd praying for 10 years every day on their faces, crying out to God as a husband and wife for the sorrows going on in that home three houses away. We found that out after we were saved. Oh, someone preached. Well, this young preacher who's married Andrew Murray's great-granddaughter, very godly girl, he came to me after the sermon. I preached and said, you know, people say this thing of someone prayed for you. He said, but I had no godly parents. I had no one in my relatives. I had no godly friends, and I was mightily saved, and I thought, well, who's prayed for me then? And I said that one day in my wife's home, in her parents' home, and her mother stood up and walked slowly over to me with tears, and she said, every single day from the day of her birth, I prayed for you. I cried for you, because you could destroy my daughter's life no matter what I did to bring her up. I prayed so earnestly for you, God had to save you. Oh, now Jacob, Esau's brother, married in the Lord, praise God. He married God's choice. He left the choice to God and was married without doubt to the person he knew God wanted him to marry. It was in God's will. It was in the will of God. He married in the Lord. He waited for God's choice, and God's choice for him, without doubt, was the woman God brought into his life. But oh, when a child from a godly home, when a child from a godly home chooses to marry an unsaved person, great incomprehensible sorrow and grief and fear will come upon any godly parent, because they know that there is little hope of such a marriage to work out or ever to survive. And that when their backslidden child, their child must be backslidden to ever marry an unsaved person, he wouldn't give you a right with God. You couldn't. You couldn't. But they know that when their backslidden child finally seeks to get right with God, he or she will probably suffer for the rest of their lives with an unsaved person, apart from God's merciful intervention in some way. But now be very careful here, brethren. If you have married an unsaved person in your backslidden state, you may have to weep for the rest of your life. But you must stay with them and seek God's grace without compromising, without compromising once you get right with God. You must seek God's grace to be Christ-like until you win him, until you win her. That Peter cries out in 1 Peter 3 so carefully to those of you who are now with an ungodly husband or wife, don't leave them, win them through your life, Peter says. Likewise, ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands, but if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation, by the life of the wife, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. And for want of time, we won't go further into that passage. But oh, Peter tells you, you need to seek God for grace to be able to endure everything you can until you win them. Don't doubt it if you did make such a terrible mistake as to marry an unsaved person in a backslidden or weak moment when you were out of touch with God. My wife's grandmother, Granny Frances, she married someone who she thought was so perfect and so respectable, but she was out of touch with God. And then when she got right with God, he turned to her and said, you may be finished with the world, but I didn't marry you when you were finished with the world. I'm not finished with the world. I go on to the world. You may be finished with the dumps. I'm not. I'll go without you. And he did, until that whole valley was shaken by his. What did she do? Well, people pledged with her, even their own children at one stage, said, get away from him. This can't be God's will. She said, never, never. I'm going to win him. For 40 years she wept. Do you think that's a waste of a life, lady? No. She never compromised. He went out to the dumps. He came back reeking, and she never, ever shouted at him. She had his plate of food. She would get up and bring it to the table. She won such respect in that irrigation valley, which is a very large valley. No Christian of the thousands of people and the many hundreds who were saved, no one, no preacher was so revered by unsaved and saved alike as that woman for her godliness, and because she didn't leave him. Men and women stood when she entered a room. They didn't do that for other people, not even for preachers. They stood for someone who lived what God expects, no matter what the cost. They stood. And she did bring him to Christ. Hallelujah. He came to Christ eventually, and all he did for the last years of his life was live for her, to try and make up for the hell he had put her through. But he said to me, if Francis had left me, I would have gone to hell, but she wouldn't give up on me. For 40 years she wouldn't give up on my soul. I shall worship God for eternity for my wife, that wouldn't let me go, and never failed me once. In her reactions, he presented Christ. I named our son after that man, and he wept for three weeks, for he couldn't bear such honor. But he was so godly. Those last years, he was so godly, I had to name him Noel, a shout of joy to God. Hallelujah. Oh, but she suffered for 40 years. Be not unequally yoked or joined together with unbelievers. It's not just a command that God holds out in cold. You just obey. This is the will of God. He holds out with such compassion. God is love. He doesn't love. He is love. You think the commandments are just there for God's judgment. No. The most cruel statement of judgment in this book is from a heart of love, perfect love, that no one ever dared to show you or feel for you or toward you. No one ever could reveal for you. And this command, be not unequally yoked but joined together with unbelievers from the heart of love that you have never experienced and never will from any other living being. Even people who die for you would never love you to the degree God loves you and longs for your welfare. But how, you may ask, how can I know who is God's will for me when I seek for a married partner? How can I know who is God's will for me when I seek for a married partner as a Christian? I remember speaking to a man called Denny Keniston. Some of you might know Denny Keniston. He gave the world the godly home series on tape that has spread across the entire world virtually to so many multitudes of homes. It's unbelievable and how it has affected homes for God's glory. Denny Keniston has opened many multitudes of doors in America along with Mr. Gossard and many other of your leaders of the conservative pulpits of America and I love him for that and respect him. But I was in his home once and I and he were discussing this thing of how many Christian marriages were divorcing across the entire spectrum of the evangelical church throughout the world. How many in the pulpits, how many in the pews, how many who've had testimony for years are learning up with marriages falling into divorce? And the same it is bringing upon the whole church worldwide to the degree of how many are turning to divorce in this day of compromise, this day just before Christ comes when men will be given marriage won't be sacred it'll just be something of a joke in the end that people will betray each other. Christ said just before I come it'll be a joke to have integrity in the end days Christ said virtually is what he was telling us was coming. He was speaking about this and I brought up this thing about how many young people need to have clear guidance in this day as never before of how to know who is God's will and how not to know and then he stood up put his cup of tea down and he walked across the room toward me and he said this was such earnestness that came from his soul not from his mind he said brother Keith I have told young people again and again who've asked me how I may know what is God's will when it comes to a married partner the choice how I will know in this uncertain day in this unstable age of uncertainty when so many marriages have gone and finished before two years how they may know it's God's will I've said to them I've said to them brother I've said don't you don't you be busy seeking a wife young man don't you be worried about seeking a husband young lady you just be busy seeking God you just with every faculty of your being and intellect seek God's best seek to work with God seek to be holy seek to be wholly consecrated to God seek to be everything you can be for God seek God with all your heart soul and and I guarantee you God God in responsibility to such a soul in faithfulness will bring someone like-minded seeking him across your path in the right moment and you will know God will make sure you know this is God's choice somehow circumstances will cry out this is God's choice some other godly surrounding you will cry out this is God's will this is God's choice and God will allow circumstances to be created which are convenient for you to enter into a relationship into some form of courtship where you can get to know each other and see God and if God doesn't tell you that it's not his will it is his will if your heart knows and your mind does and you will know but courts long enough to be don't you be busy seeking you just seek God God will in faithfulness in a holy obligation bring someone on your path seeking him like-mindedly with the whole heart and soul don't doubt that now then once you know you have found God's choice for you once you know this is God's choice for you don't fear marriage even if 90 percent of the world lands in divorce if God tells you you don't have fear be sure of this if you both go in rightly related to God and stay rightly related to God your marriage will be glory God did not mock us saying two are better than one God did not mock us saying it's not good for a man to be alone he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing a godly wife according to proverbs 31 and most of the bible crying out in its context she has to be godly you find something so precious you can measure your wealth by the wife God has given you and the children God has given you not by your money proverbs tells us again and again that's true wealth integrity godliness but a wife and children of God oh you will taste something of heaven and earth don't doubt it if it's God's will and you stay rightly related to God and you can don't go into a marriage negative full of fear expecting troubles because they may come then both of you must just carry on seeking God together for the rest of your life helping each other as a help meet and you will compliment each other not destroy each other but don't expect disaster or it may come don't go in full of fears don't have doubts want God and let me tell you if you're faithful to your quiet time if that's something that consistently is always there not just when you are in a crisis then you can make mistakes but if you're right with God you're faithful in the quiet time you can measure how much you love God by how much you love this book and how much time you spend meditating for God's voice to reach you daily if that's first and nothing comes near it you're right with God if you never miss the quiet time if you're right with God God will tell you it's wrong in no uncertain way in the quiet time or he will confirm it wonderfully but don't go in full of fear don't expect disaster or it could come i was once in a meeting that turned out to be rather a disaster it was in a hospital where all the hospital staff came that was saved it was a great big building and in this uh sort of conference hall the doctors and the nurses and everybody else on staff that were born again were there and after the sermon they wanted the time of questions so this has become something they do most places i go now many places they want questions and i have to give answers but they were now springing up this thing because there were a lot of men and wives young doctors their wives christian now they're talking about this thing of marriage and the difficulties of marriage the most terrible thing of making mistakes and how to survive in christian marriages when so many christian marriages aren't surviving they're divorcing after two years the one statement that was made there was what the newspaper was saying headlines eighty percent of every marriage in this country is divorced after two years isn't that tragic it's tragic well this one young doctor he came up with a most wonderfully profound statement he said i believe i believe that the first year of marriage is the worst he said it it's really something the adjustments and everything that goes with it he says it's terrible the first year he is now he had everybody's attention and he says but i i strongly believe that from the second year if you just get through the first year you it just gets better and better just don't give up the first so i said how long have you been married he said six months everybody was rather shaken and all his profound statement lost ground and his wife looked rather stunned because she knew that everybody knew it was dreadful what they're experiencing oh beloved people expect the worst it may happen be careful go into marriage rightly related to god and determined to remain close to christ each individually full of faith and god will keep you and glorify his name and into your marriage but now beloved the great thing once you are married the great thing once you are married is to guard your words don't tolerate unkind words to ever be said from day one and it's possible you're a man you've grown up you're not a child sir you don't have to behave like one when you're a christian you have the holy spirit in you and so do you lady it's possible that when there's stress when there's differences instead of you defending yourself and starting one terrible argument and eventually unkind words that when you sense anything could take away the testimony that home turn around and go outside sir you can and pray come back in you'll find it doesn't really matter 90 of what it does cause problems doesn't even matter just have the grace don't allow unkind words and you lady you can go into the bathroom and lock the door and get on your knees and ask god for grace not to answer back and you'll be amazed how much grace there is if you just want it if you just want god to give it to you don't tolerate unkind words to ever be said the great thing once you're saved is to guard your words set a watch before my lips oh god is a prayer say my thing the dear lady doesn't know there's a place back there because she must have come afterwards i'm sorry i don't want her to go outside now but there's somewhere where there's a loud speaker and she can be comfortable just in case no one has told her but set a watch before my lips oh god the law of kindness is in his lips do you know what that means this is going to stagger you this is a little bible study it literally means in hebrew because he's godly he speaks with kindness do you know that nearly half of the times you find the word in the old testament godliness it means exactly the same as kindness do you know godliness is kindness in the old testament nearly half of the occasions where the word godliness is appearing it's kind men of godliness look in the margin you'll find the hebrew say they choose between one and two it means the same thing kindness using godliness is what sir going to church so sacrificially so faithfully giving all that tithing not having a tv in the home the way you dress oh no it's christ like this but in the old testament the word says kindness kindness even on your lips kindness is godliness did you know that sir you're as godly as what you're kind otherwise you're not godly according to the old testament word godliness it's strange it doesn't come out in the word in the new testament of the same word we use godliness for the hebrew has three words of godliness and nearly half of the the same is a perfect man and able also to bridle the whole body he's in control over sin he's living in victory you can judge a man oh in the multitude of words they lack it not sin don't doubt it you're not in control here you're not in control anyway according to james 3 it's an unruly evil full of deadly poison it it just sets aflame the whole of men's passions every other sin virtually leading you may point to other sins sir but it's this that is calling it according to james 3 it sets it on fire the course of nature an unconsolable that people who speak words that condemn them in god's eyes that say words that condemn them in god and man's eyes sir if any man offend not in word the same god says is a perfect man that's holiness the foremost proof of holiness a vital reality with god is a man's ability to refrain from entering into any conversation whereby he becomes defiled in the sight of god don't doubt that i met a man here in america two years ago and he was weeping uncontrollably at one stage and i walked through the crowd because i saw him waiting and couldn't get near me so i just pushed everybody who's waiting and i said what is it what is it brother what can i pray for you tell me now exactly why you're crying like this oh sir i've been backslidden many years and in my backslidden state i did some atrocious things but my wife hates me she hates me to the degree she can't forgive me but i have sought to get right with god for quite a good while now i've sought to try and win back her love and her respect and i've done everything everything but she hates me she can't forgive me she's lost out of god too but i was the one i think that caused it in my losing out of god she became bitter and hard but sir for a good while nearly a year i have been seeking god with every breath in my body to be victorious to be christ-like to win back her love but she just humiliates me in front of the children in public every occasion she just pulled me to pieces she so hates me she screams out words that just break me down publicly we can't even go near a church together she hates me but what am i going to do sir the children are just falling apart mentally they're so unstable because of this and i do everything i can to win back her love now that i've got right with god what am i going to do i'm so sorry i put my arms around him had a little weep with him too for what i saw the devil was doing in that home and sensed we did have a little prayer it was a while later months that i came back to your country for some specific convention just for 10 days i was here i normally come for two months at a time at the end of the year but sometimes for conventions in the middle of the year when i was and people arrived and this little lady said do you remember that man who so wept at that place where you were preaching and you made your way over to him put your arm around him and wept with him yes she said do you know what happened to him when he left your meeting sir he went home and he said he's more determined than ever before not to fight back not to defend himself just to reveal christ to somehow reveal christ to her to such a degree she has to love him again he was crying out and when he was home she so humiliated she so screamed in such a way she so pulled into pieces with such hatred and bitterness and anger in front of the children the children with the sobbing in their fear of what was being said and in front of people that were there she always chose her moments it had to be publicly in front of the students he just let loose telling him all his fails everything of the past everything including her hatred of him and he said to her why i have done everything i have done everything in my strength to win back your love for so long now why look at the children if it's not for god's sake just to the children said look what you're doing to them what more can i do to win back your love to bring christ back in this home to bring a testimony to stop these children from falling apart like this when you scream like a sneeze with such hatred and so humiliate me why why won't you forgive me why won't you give me another chance please and she blurted out some terrifying statement and he said oh how cruel he said if i die today you will never forgive yourself with me pleading with me crawling for your love for your forgiveness you will never forgive yourself you will never forgive yourself for what you just said to me in front of these children while i'm begging you for love and for hope and for it sounds like and in spite of that used to you'll never forgive yourself for eternity if i die today to what you did and she said if you die today i was he did die that day god made sure of that he had to take him away from this no one would survive meant to me what he was going so god took him away oh he died that day a tragedy the staggering thing is the way he died his whole face was cut off there was no face to spit on do you think that just happened she never will forgive herself i bless god to be able to tell you that she's seeking god now she's so broken she's like a crushed bird now that god took him away and her last words were oh don't allow unkind and cruel words to ever leave your lips beloved they may be the last word you will ever be given the chance by god to say have you considered that do you honestly think just death comes in old age when you have time to sort things out and don't play the fool with god lady he touches you touches the apple of his eye if you touch someone who wants years ago in your country when i was first coming to your land i've been 20 tours now this is the 20th tour i've made of america but i was in the home of godly children a large family of god-fearing people and i noticed one of the young children in that home a young girl why i noticed her was because she was like the servant of the home and what was so beautiful was that gave her joy it didn't bring grief to her where others sat listening to every word around right through she was there just serving everybody but she had this joy just pouring out of her being it was like joy unspeakable god had given her a servant of all i used to think certain words of her christ the very first thing attributed to christ's character and ministry in the old testament is servant the first word written about his service what he would be what he would do the first word you look in his context in the old testament servant i came not to be served but to serve he said he that would be greatest among you let him become a servant of all you want to know who's the greatest and godliest in the home you think it's the preaching father no it's the young girl that's a servant of all according to god's bible he's the one god his smile above everything if that isn't written across a preacher standing in a pulpit he's a failure if that word is not written across your life i can tell you how much god is having him his way in a preacher's life in a man's life in a woman's life in a child's life by one word one word it's written by the holy ghost in their every reaction and everything they do servant servant this girl grew up over the years and she got married to an equally godly young man that this was such an example of the believers of the youth that he just stood out like a sore thumb he was so godly now i heard they were married i wasn't able to get to their marriage tragically and i didn't see them for a good while until they had a child and they met me at an airport and i was so taken aback i didn't even know when told me they were going to they took me to their home i wasn't preaching that night because i traveled too late to get in time for his service so they let me off anyway i went to their home for a meal a little home they said god gave them totally paid off all the furniture young married couple they're gone now to south america to serve the lord but before they left this home was given to them to come back to whenever they want to lovely godly people and i sat in that home and i look now at this girl that always staggered me he was so christ-like from the teenagers he just walked with god and the fruit was there that staggered visitors and i looked at this young man who i didn't know that well but i knew of him and the moments i'd been with him he just wanted god and he stood out for god among the others here they are now married so i sat at the table and i watched them and after an hour at that table just talking i stopped and the tear came down my face and they just both looked at me so i dared to tell them what was in my mind what i was thinking as i watched them the tenderness with which the gentleness with which he was confident with which she looked at him because a woman has as much as respect for herself as what her husband loved and i realized in this home is such a marriage being lived out that not for my eyes this is going to be just the beginning of heaven on earth for the children that are there they named their first child after my wife i was so touched jenny well i said to them if you could put in one statement what you believe is the most vital thing for a christian marriage to survive and bring glory to god and not be destroyed where most are staggering and most children in christian homes is here fighting across this world because of the strength of the age and the falling apart of every moral decent code and restriction it's not easy to survive in this day if you're not biting your ear with god but if you were to just put in one statement the most vital thing in your hearts of what it is to be happy and to be one and to be christ-like and to be loving and not to know fighting ever which i know is the case and will be the case in this house till the day you die what would you say if you wanted the whole church of this world to hear what you found markitudes might never find before they die they're so centered self-centered and carnal in their christian walk and proud what would you say they both looked at each other they smiled they look a bit humbled and then he started and she sentences like one mind isn't that lovely and i said stop write it down as you said it i've never ever heard anyone on earth in any pulpit or any book or any seminar and marriage ever say what you've just said from the heart of god in such possession i want to say it to the christians of this world write it down they did this is the document they gave me the next day we have found that all christian couples have drawn a line somewhere in their marriage on one side of the line is the behavior that they allow on the other side are the things they would never consider doing for example most christians would never ever strike or beat their spouse such sinful actions are beyond their limit of tolerated behavior that is an enormous mental roadblock they will not cross over they would be crushed by remorse if they were ever to cross the line into physical abuse yet they think almost nothing of speaking unkind words to each other of humiliating one another publicly in front of the children or arguing why because they've drawn their line at a point that tolerates such behavior it may be close to the line and yet it is allowed and even expected we believe that god's standard for the children who bear his nature is much higher than those human limits in our renewed mind the same enormous roadblock that keeps us from striking one another will keep us from speaking harsh or angry words when we have truly put on the mind of christ in absolute surrender to god unkind words are just as unthinkable as violent blows a failure in word would bring the same crushing remorse we would feel if we were to commit acts of physical violence against our spite the new line that we will not cross over is the one we've received daily in every circumstance spontaneously because we utterly surrender which is the only moment we really are please andrew and elizabeth weaver i said to them write a book i believe they started don't wait until you're old let no man despise thy youth but be thou an example of the believers in word it always starts here it always starts here if it doesn't work here nothing else you do matters in your profession of christ in your home it begins be thou an example you write the book most christians who've been there for many many years don't know what you found my brother-in-law jenny's elder brother he's six foot eight he's a farmer a godly man he was broken when a friend who grew up beside him on the farming areas of another farmer's son went through the schooling went through the years through the church became a deacon when a young professing christian with him began to treat his wife and family abusively and angrily and cruelly one day as people were shaken at what became evident was going on to this man in his behavior toward his wife and children even physically the grief that swept across so many hearts but especially this friend a tear came down my brother-in-law's eyes and he looked at me in such brokenness as he thought of this man of what they just heard he had done and sensed he's done to his wife in his failure he said to me if a man always hurts his family it is almost certainly because he's in such a state of sin and self-condemnation himself that he begins to take it out on those who are nearest to him which is tragically usually his family I believe it's not because of his family's fault that he hurts them physically like this but because of his own for when a man's when his own thoughts become unbearable to his own conscience he seeks to find fault in others all the time and blames others for his anger and misery but I have come to believe Keith that most people's anger and misery and torment are because of their own failure and sin and grieving tormented consciences not those they continually blame and begin to abuse and hurt in irrational cruel and destructive ways and eventually lose and he did lose this man forever his family you know my brother-in-law hasn't been to a theological seminar he hasn't been to psychiatric counseling program he's just a farmer but he hit the nail on the head like I've never heard because I would say 80% of the homes I've been when a man beat his wife or children or latched out at them to such cruel ways that are unacceptable who are Christians most of them this is why they did it their own sin their own sin made them lose control and seek to blame others and take it out on others I was once in a home here in America and you have many beautiful homes in America but I've been in many of the godliest homes in America some of them you've got their books I had their books when I was a boy when I was a young Christian I've been in many many godly homes of your land of the godliest and the most greatly used men used men of your land but in one of these homes this wife this mother the lady of the home she did something that's rather unnerving unnerving sorry she made that house so beautiful that you just had to appreciate everything she did every plot every picture every painting every corner of every step you take you know you walk up the stairs and there's a big thing it's a message you have to stop you get exhausted by the time you get to the bedroom I was looking at this and there's beautiful ribbons and frames and beautiful she even did all this tapestry just verses or statements she heard or read and she's done everything herself just right through the whole house well it was staggering she made sure her children and husband were confronted with everything she thought was vital to her heart they're gonna have to look for the rest of their lives and everybody that dares to venture in the home I got to the bedroom I was in quite a state I thought well I need a paper and pen to get all these things down these statements are staggering but when I got in the room there was the worst on top of my bed this big frame with this amazing heart you know beautiful heart it was done you had to read it your conscience wouldn't let you sleep if you didn't read it means she really got the message through there was a big heart and on top of it were the words the fruit of the Spirit capital S if he's in control of you is love just those words it starts with love forget about the rest it is no love 1 Corinthians 13 says fruit isn't fruit gifts nothing you do is worth anything unless love God's love or the fruit of the Spirit is love the evidence literally that God the Holy Ghost is in you and having his way in your life to any degree is that your life spontaneously reacts with God's love no matter how trying the circumstances not by effort of your own but his love reacts through the fruit the evidence God the Holy Ghost is in your control of your life if you're filled with the Spirit controlled by the Spirit that's all filled with the fruit of the Spirit is love but then in the heart she had these words now this staggered me but the fruit of love is health home and happiness at first that confused me the order she put it I put the cases down I got on my knees I began to write it down and even put the heart there it is the same page the fruit of the Spirit is love but the fruit of love is health home and happiness but you know I was so stunned after about half an hour on my knees praying about these words and looking at scriptures brethren you can be sure of this where love lacks in a Christian home these things will eventually be lost health I guarantee home anything of a home that's worthwhile referring to as a home and happiness take away love God's love you lose it all three but if at some moment words are said that resort to failure and hurt and they will in this world because we have to do with a personal devil that comes hurling himself and while we're sleeping he's awake trying to think some devices of something in circumstances to wear you out and to stagger you that you could fail he's working full-time and he's got six thousand years experience but if at some moment words are said that resort to failure and hurt in some extreme situation you hadn't expected don't let it go on don't let it be the beginning of the end of guarding your lips and living in Christ likeness I want to suck every one of you tonight and do something most preachers don't do I want to confess to you a failure in my life a terrible thing to my saying but God took a long time to get me to even think that it could be God's will because I believe it's under the blood you don't go around bringing up the past fail it's under the blood you could could cause damage but the Lord carefully whispered in my heart and got me ready to be able to share this failure so forgive me but God said to me a good while ago Keith if you're not utterly honest in the pulpit leave the pulpit now leave it forever because you become unusually so I'm going to be utterly honest and shock you about a terrible failure that happened in my home while I was preaching I'm a preacher I've preached for 35 years 34 years it's about every single day of my life and plenty day three times a day and I tell others what I believe is God's will but in my home I was so tired my head was numb from all the work for God and pouring myself out I came home so numb and I didn't expect you still want to ask God one day why Lord in those circumstances did thou allow it when I wasn't strong and when I was so weary and hadn't expect it was like all hell came up against us as a family in one moment that I hadn't expected and I was so weary so tired so utterly without strength mentally let alone emotionally and I raised my voice that's something I've never done to my wife and to my children I failed in my shock and in my way I shocked I can't tell you the circumstances the details that all I can tell you it was like all hell just rose up to shock and hurt me in a way I never could have imagined would ever come in my home with what I suddenly heard and I failed and my little boy Samuel he was very small he's only 13 now but he was very small he was playing with his toys in the passage and he left his toys and he ran and he looked and he'd never seen his mommy his brothers and his daddy tears coming he never heard a raised voice once he'd never heard us shouting or being angry not once and he was so shaken he just burst into tears and he said why why are you unhappy daddy tell me why and we all looked at him and I just thought thank God he didn't hear why but then he said something had staggered our home we never recovered from this little boy I know what to do daddy I know just what we have to do let's pretend this didn't happen and let's start from the beginning now and this time knowing what we know is coming let's be careful to say words that won't hurt each other and make mommy cry daddy now come on daddy all over again you know I was so rebuked I didn't want to behave beloved be sure failure will come in a Christian marriage in heaven you don't have all hell against you in heaven you don't have the devil and demons against you we wrestle not against flesh and blood against principalities against powers against the rulers of the darkness of this world against spiritual wickedness in high places we need the whole armor of God but beloved there is a moment my little children these things right time to get you sitting up I don't want you to but if you see this a possibility no matter how godly you are no matter how consecrated you are no matter how victorious on your road to the next your city and the broad road you are not in another role when you're in a narrow road you're right in the middle of the boardwalk beginning in your home when you turn everybody that's still in the broad road doesn't take it easy to know someone's turned from what they're still doing it's not easy to stand in this world and on the road to the next you're hitting with all the city with all the powers of hell against you and evil people even beginning your home and family become the net the enemies are the members of his own house when you go through with God you don't have to go out looking for some wicked person to really but the devil has someone to wear you out as takes it happen but on your road to celestial city you've turned you've repented you're walking the narrow road that leads to life but honest beloved in that victory kept by the power of God is the possibility with all the powers of hell that you could fall in if while you're sinning not these things right don't you that you should not if while you're living that victory that staggers the powers of hell that staggers the consciousness of every single person who still hates God or doesn't want him if you fall it's not the end get up I've got for forgiveness he we have an advocate with the Father Jesus Christ rather than be careful now we love it failure does come even in the Christian marriage where you totally consecrated at some point with all the victory you know but be careful if failure comes to ask for forgiveness sincerely in truth immediately no matter who you are in that home but then love will not be broken down I guarantee you there's something great about a man or a woman even if they're a preacher that says forgiveness immediately I have failed I failed God and I failed you and I don't want this to be the beginning of the end of your respect or you're looking up to me to be the example of this home and the priest forgive me for this faith pray to me that I never do it again if failure comes no matter who you are be careful to ask for forgiveness in truth immediately no matter who you are in that house but then love will not be broken down even if you did fail in the weak moment under undue unexpected stress everyone respects a person that can honestly say I'm sorry I have failed God and you forgive me forgive me I'd like to close with this on my marriage night when we left the crowds and oh my it seemed every Christian in South Africa was there they just came in their multitudes and what a lovely what a lovely day it was in God's presence it was one after the other glorified God in song and testimony that was a whole day where God just whipped into the hearts of people they still trying to recover from what God is in my wedding day it was lovely but when we left the crowds and we were alone suddenly for the first time alone as husband and wife we went to a hotel that was so beautiful that it was fit for a king it was so incredible I couldn't believe what the Christians of our country did to this missionary who had nothing I don't believe a millionaire could find a better view more beautiful honored places they gave us the Christians of my land just for having served God from a young fellow we walked into this place but the very first thing we did when we walked into this room now alone away from the crowd we got on our knees beside the bed I opened the Bible I opened the Bible where I had finished that morning in my quiet time as an unmarried man the last quiet time I ever had as an unmarried man and as an unmarried man I had stopped on this page and the last verse and I now married opened my Bible and I read the next verse I go on now from where I ended that morning we have had that custom in the nights to just spend great times and this is the verse I read and I knew it was God and so did my wife they shall be my people I will be their God and I will give them I will give them one heart and one way that they fear me forever for the good for the good of them and for the good of their children after them I will give them one heart one way for the good of them and for the good of their children after them I'm asked that there's the time that's the name of the hotel the city the date I said that's from God my gin I say this from my soul not with my intellect I doubt that there has ever been a happier marriage than mine I say it under the blood but I say to the glory of God I don't know anyone living there is more godly than my wife I say it to the glory of God there isn't a day I don't get down before God and say thank you for my soul that sees the mother of my children no one with every breath every breath in their body just seems to want to glorify God with a mother like that I thank God she's the mother of my children I thank God she's the woman who waits for me no matter how often I leave her she's never one stop when we leave each other for months he puts a hand he'll do it for God we do it for Christ we do it for soul we do it willing but so Oh God gave me someone who is remarkable but this that God told us when we were alone at last he fulfilled one heart one way we didn't have divisions there were moments I might have failed with the lips in my weariness I don't remember her ever failing once God forgive me if I sound like I'm glorifying a human no I'm glorifying a God who made her what she is for the good of my children and me she has one heart the world is on her heart as much as it is in mine the world is our parish isn't it lovely that God can hold out a promise to two young missionaries and fulfill it above that we asked to believe when we prayed over that verse before him that night if you want with all your heart anyone can live that night he names the name of Christ so long as God is everything else otherwise it can't work in the long run I want to ask every single one of you to lose your pride for God's sake not for yours for God's sake and humble yourself in the sight of God here tonight so God forgive me I have failed I need the blood and I need cleansing and I need thee as I surrender everything here for thy glory to take me and give me the grace from this night for I want it more than life to live what I heard tonight and I care by thy grace I know that but I want it now what's left of life is that a moment left yet my children see it works this thing called Christianity I tried to make them follow while I say I want those of you who need God's forgiveness and cleansing in the blood for the failure and the grief you've been to God and man in marriage that's gonna cost you that's gonna cost you a billion times more you just go on you can't humble yourself in the sight of God for fear of man I want those of you who love God enough and say God here I am I come for cleansing confessing I need mercy forgiveness for the grief I've been for the failure but tonight I come to lay my life on the altar to absolutely surrender and I want you to come and take me and give me the grace by taking and controlling me filling with thy Holy Spirit to reveal Christ to me as I absolutely surrender tonight for the rest of my life the little moment left it's just a moment you've got don't lose it for God's sake you think God's gonna turn you away if you want I want those of you who need to seek God's forgiveness and to dedicate your life so he can consecrate it and take it up as you yield everything so the moment left can be his and not the devil's I want those of you they desperately need to seek God tonight to stand right now and say it costs doesn't it all of you standing will you come stand in the front let's make something sacred yeah let's be holy here and sacred don't be in a hurry when men are dealing with God sir you'll grieve God you wouldn't be in a hurry in front of a ballgame some people for three hours don't be in a hurry when people see Christ especially with your mommy and daddy young people every one of you standing here I want you to bow your heads those sitting please stand and you just say amen at the end of this prayer every one of you humbling yourself in God's eyes I want you to bow your heads now and pray this prayer up to me from your heart and remember this God does not look at the words that proceed out of the mouth God looks at the heart from whence they come it might be my prayer that you're praying but if you as best as you can with every faculty of your being and that's all God expects he can't expect more if you pray these words I'm leading you with but from your heart you show God that this is your prayer live and see don't dare believe God is capable of turning his face away and saying no it doesn't matter that they seek me something don't doubt that God will answer this prayer above that you're asking or believing if you pray from your heart as best as you can for do it as best as you can without any doubt or unbelief please in this God who longed for this he's not gonna lose trust him now but what you're asking him he's going to fulfill by his grace and his spirit will you all pray aloud with me please oh my god forgive me for the grief I have caused and my family when I have failed me so much though I have known thy word