In this sermon, the speaker emphasizes the importance of walking circumspectly and following God's direction. He references Hosea 4:6, which states that God's people are destroyed due to a lack of knowledge. The speaker also discusses the role of fathers in providing for their families, debunking the idea that material possessions are the most important thing to give. He shares personal anecdotes and lessons learned from failure, highlighting the need for quality time and the inability to have it all. The sermon also touches on the consequences of God's judgment on a nation, where authority is flipped and unworthy individuals are placed in positions of leadership.

This sermon was uploaded by Grace Community Church in San Antonio, Texas, and our website is www.gccsatx.com, or you can find us on Sermon Audio by going to www.sermonaudio.com slash gcc. Well, it's great to be back again this evening, and I can tell you that I count Kurt Cameron as a dear friend, and he is the real deal. Usually you find, you know, when someone from the movie industry and things, you know, they make professions of faith, sometimes you wonder whether it's real or not, but I've known him and I've watched his life, and he is one of the most tremendous blessings. He's so humble. If he were to walk in this place right now, he'd sit in the back over there in the corner and probably hope that no one noticed him. And he works with a group of guys, Todd Friel and Ray Comfort, Way of the Master, and I can tell you, I can recommend just about anything that those guys do. When I get around them, I am so, so convicted of my need to love more, to witness more. They're just, they're either out of their mind or they're fearless. Those guys will jump up on a park bench, on a trash can, they'll do anything and just start witnessing. As a matter of fact, Ray Comfort rented an orangutan and sat in a Hollywood cafe all day talking to the orangutan, and when people would come up to him and ask him what he was doing, he would say, well, I'm talking to a distant cousin. And then he would start witnessing to them about the foolishness of evolution. He also has a seven-foot gorilla that he carries around with him. Actually, it's a mechanical gorilla, and he uses that as a means of witnessing to people. He is definitely outside of the box. But I'll tell you what, man, does he love God and does he love souls? So anything that you can get or see by those guys, I just recommend it. I mean, they're a wonderful bunch of guys. All right, well today, let's turn in our Bibles to Ephesians 5. And in verse 22, we're going to talk about biblical headship. Man as the leader of his home. And this is so crucial that we understand this part. A lot of times when people start talking about headship and other things, they kind of laugh or snicker. You know, as one man said, you know, you want to talk to a man who has a little bit of authority, come over to my house. I have as little as anybody. And we kind of snicker about that. But actually, we're not being biblical. We need to understand that God has a model. He has a way of doing things. He has a created order. And we need to follow that. And it's not some mystery. It's not something that someone can just pull out and turn words around to make it say something it doesn't. God really does speak about man as the leader of his home. Now, if you look in Ephesians 5, 22, it says, Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. Then he explains why. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church. He himself being the savior of the body. Now, it is undisputed that Christ is the head of the church. The pastor is not the head of the church. A group of men are not the head of the church. If anyone has any leadership role at all in the church, it is under Christ. And they can lead only to the degree that they lead according to his authority, which is the word of God. And so, we do not doubt ever that Christ is the head of the church. In the same way, there should be no doubt who is the head of the home. Now, before we get into this and we're going to explain this in depth, let me say this to ease your mind. We do not like the idea of authority. And especially today, women do not like the idea that they have a head. That the husband is the head of the home. But a few reasons for that. One of them is simply feminism. But the other is this. We think of authority, oftentimes, in terms of the Roman Empire and Caesar. Instead of thinking of authority in the terms of Jesus Christ. Who, knowing that he had all authority, took a towel and washed his disciples feet. So, one of the reasons why we have problems with authority is because there are so many abuses. In the context of what we call authority. And I can assure you that when Jesus Christ talks about headship. He is not talking about an abusive husband. A self-centered man who is seeking to do everything for his own good. But rather, a man who is a servant leader. Doing everything he can for the glory of Christ. And the benefit of his wife and his children. Now, let me say a few things. First of all, headship. It is real. As I have said, it is modeled after Christ. And not Caesar. It is redemptive. Now, when you get a job. And you are working under someone. You probably do not have the idea of this man is leading me in order to redeem me. He is leading me in order that I might experience the greatest blessings of life. You probably do not think of that when you think of your boss. And that is one of the problems. Headship in the Bible. Is that you lead in order to promote the people that you are leading. There are, as I have said. And this is becoming more and more clear to me. There are leaders who are people promoters. They desire to lift up. To promote. To work on behalf of those whom they are leading. And then there are other people that I call. Other leaders that I call people eaters. They are like death. They eat people. They pull people into themselves for only one purpose. That is to use them. To get the most out of them for their own advantage. And I am sorry to say. But that is the way most leadership is today, isn't it? Most leadership is that way. But just because most leadership is that way. That does not mean that we should reject leadership. Or headship. Because in the Christian realm. Headship is redemptive. And it highly regards the human dignity of the wife. Biblical headship highly regards her human dignity. It promotes it. It does not take away from it. It does not make the wife an extension of the husband. But the husband realizes this. My wife one day will receive a name. That only she in Christ knows. Not me. I will not know it. She is not an extension of me. She is a person in her own right before God. Now. Biblical headship is real. It is not a figurative position. I love the English. They are really something. I like going to England. I like talking to them. And it is all about God save the Queen. But here is what you need to understand. They realize that even though they are so into the Queen. She is a figurehead. She is not extremely involved in the decision making process. It is sort of an honor given to her. And I can appreciate that. But everyone kind of knows. Yes, she is the Queen. And we love having a Queen. Because you can't be British and not have a Queen. But at the same time. She is not that involved in what is going to actually happen. But that is not the case with biblical headship. It is not figurative. It involves real practical leadership on a daily basis. Now this is proved in Ephesians 4. Verses 18 through chapter 6 verse 9. Where the Apostle Paul sets out to the believer. How to live in the context of different situations. Now let me give you an example. It says first of all for all believers. In verse 21. It says be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. So with regard to believers. What does that mean? That means as a body of believers. There is a sense in which we are all subject to one another. And even if someone is an elder, pastor, deacon. And they have some authority in the church. They are still in a sense subject to the other believers in Christ. Just like anyone else. For example. If the youngest believer comes up to me. And says respectfully. Brother Paul I have an issue with you. There is nothing wrong with that. Now if I seek to retaliate. If I seek automatically to explain myself. I got some serious spiritual problem. You see that. And so even the youngest believer. Can come up to those of us who had many years in the faith. And can begin to lay out things. If they do it respectfully. According to first Timothy. They do it respectfully. But they lay these things out. And there is a sense in which I should be subject to them. I should listen. Maybe they are right. And if they are not right. I should not just shut them off. Maybe I should bring some other people. In on this and say. Hey this believer has said this. Do you see these things in my life? Because the young person may be wrong. But they may be right. So there is a sense in which. We are all subject to one another. And a good rule of practice. When you talk about leadership is. The leadership in a church. Seeks to hold the church accountable. Through preaching. Through leadership. Through reproof. Correction. But there is something else that is very important. Not only does leadership. Seek to hold the church accountable. But the church itself. Must hold leadership accountable. If not. You have a very very dangerous situation on your hands. Also. In being subject to one another. If the believer in the pew. The average believer in the pew. Thinks there is going to be retaliation. If they come to the leadership and say. I disagree here. There are serious problems. Do you see that? And so the Holy Spirit. Has to work in this community of believers. So that what? So that well. That younger believers. Respect the older believers. And the younger believers even respect. Those who are maybe pastors and elders and deacons. But at the same time. There is no fear of retaliation. When you have a problem. So again. If the youngest believer comes to me. And I am the pastor. He comes to me and says. I have a problem with you. I do what? I submit myself. That doesn't mean I agree immediately. We may need to bring in other people. If the young person is wrong. I don't retaliate. Because if they have come respectfully in love. What is wrong with that? And so. As believers. We are to be subject to one another. In the fear of Christ. Just remember this. He says. If you make one of the least of these stumble. Notice he doesn't say. If you make the elder stumble. Or if you make the deacon stumble. Or if you make the oldest wisest in the church stumble. It would be better than a millstone. It would be hung around your neck. And you were cast into the sea. That is not what it says. He says. If you. One of these little ones. If you make them stumble. Oh, woe to you. Woe to you. You see. And so. Leadership always has to have this mentality. In the fear of Christ. In the fear of Christ. And remember what I have said a few times. Since I have been in this pulpit. You. Punch me. Kick me. Poke me. It is like. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. You are really not going to make me that mad. You touch one hair. Of one of my little children. And. You may just see how unsanctified I am. And most men would say the same thing. Most women would say the same thing. Don't touch my child. Well, if we are that way. How much does God. Love his children. And that is why in the fear of Christ. We deal with one another. Not necessarily because of who you are. Even though I ought to respect your human dignity. But. Because of whom you belong to. You belong to God. Now. But. Then he goes down from 21. And he says. Wives be subject to your own husbands. As. To the Lord. So. Here we have a body of believers. Men. Women. Husbands. Wives. And there is a sense. My wife comes to me. As a believer. And she says. Paul. You know. You have got some things wrong here. In the community of faith. As a believer. I need to be subject to her. I need to listen to her. Because we are fellow believers. We are fellows. In Christ. On this road to glory. But then there is another relationship I have with my wife. And it is in our home. And my wife. Is to be subject. To my leadership. As my leadership. Seeks to be. Biblical. Now we are going to go on later. And we are going to describe what that is. So don't get afraid. Remember. When I talk about leadership in the home. I am not talking about me becoming Caesar. And stomping her. I am talking about me seeking to be like Christ. In order to raise. Her up. OK. Now. So as believers. We are subject to one another. And within the context of the home. My wife is to be subject to me. Now notice this. And I think this is a very important point. My wife is to be subject to me. Brother. She is not to be subject to you. And this is a very important point. Because if you miss this. You start moving kind of into the area of a cult. In my opinion. Your wife. Is not subject to me. She is not subject to all the other men. She is subject to you. And that is extremely important. And it works something like this. And for the young girls here. Who are not married. This might be very helpful. Prior to being married. You are subject to your father. Now. I want to preface this. That does not mean. That if your father asks you to do something. Unbiblical. Or criminal. Or hurtful. That you are supposed to do that. Because. Your father said so. We don't want to go down that road. There are some abusive. Very abusive men. We need to be very careful. But. In a normal family. With a normal dad. Who loves you. And he has got flaws. But. Just like all of us. But he just loves you. He is trying to do the best for you. Young lady. You are under the authority. Of your father. Until the day. When your father. Takes your hand. And puts your hand. In the hand. Of your husband. Now. This is why. Also. And I want to explain this to you. This is why. I am not against. Girls going to college. So. Please don't say this. You know. Say that I am. That is not what I am going to say. But I am going to teach you. The danger of something. And fathers. Listen to me. If at all possible. That you can do it. And your daughter. Is going to go to college. Then I would recommend. Highly. That she live at home. If possible. And she go to a college. As close as possible. Now. Why do I say that? Well. Let's say you have a college. Of ten thousand students. Five thousand males. Who have not been trained. By their fathers. Most of them very ungodly. And. Twenty five. Thirty years ago. When I was in college. It was an immoral pit. Of decadence. What is it now? So. What you do. When your daughter. Turns seventeen or eighteen. You separate. Her from your authority. And you send her over there. With no authority. What so ever. And now. She's mixed in. With five thousand young men. Four thousand nine hundred. Ninety nine young girls. Most of whom. Have never known. What it's like. To be under a godly father. Or to be trained in righteousness. You see. And so. We see. That. The necessity. Of being. Subject. To being under. The protective authority. You see. When god lays down. An authority system. It is to protect you. Let's think about. Princess Diana. For a moment. And I have nothing. Bad. To say. About her. I'm sure. In many ways. She was a very lovely. Lady. She seemed to have had. A lot of friends. And a lot of people. Cared deeply about her. There's no need. To attack her. At all. But I want you. To think about. Something. If she. That very night. Had submitted. To all the different. Strata. Of authority. That god has laid down. She would have never been. In that place. Do you see that? There were. Biblical laws. Violated. Probably. Human. Laws. Violated. There were all sorts. Of things. That god. Had revealed. As his expressed. Authority. And she came out. From under. That. And when she did. Look what happened. That's not to say that. Bad things. Do not happen. To people. Who respect. God's authority. But. Folks. This is what the book. Of Proverbs. Is all about. Do you see that? Being under. Authority. Young girls. And guys. Listen to me. There's this. Built in thing. And it. Comes from. A lot of it. From television. If you ever notice. Young kids. Programs. There are no parents. Involved. Anywhere. As a matter of fact. Usually the parents. Are buffoons. If they are in the show. At all. And it's usually. Just a bunch. Of young kids. Running around. Going to school. Making their own decisions. How they eat. I don't know. Where they get their clothes. Who buys those. I don't know. Either. But you just have all. These kids. And they're. Not under. Authority. And if. In a parent. Comes. If a parent. Comes in. And displays. Authority. Usually the parents. Wrong. Isn't he? Doesn't understand. He's a buffoon. That's kind of ingrained. In you. But what you need. To understand. Is your father. Your mother. Maybe even. Your grandparents. They have. Experienced. So much. More. Of life. Than you. Things. Much darker. Than you could ever. Imagine. Much more. Difficult. Than you could. Ever. Think about. You need. To submit to their. Authority. If they tell you. Something's wrong. They probably. Know that. Because they've. Done it. And bear. The scars. Of it. And although the devil. Will tell you. Live. And learn. God tells you. No. Learn. And live. Only. A fool. Keeps going. Committing. All. The wrong. Mistakes. Over. And over. And over. Again. You see. And so. There's. Authority. Is not. A bad. Thing. We're. Trained. That it is. But it's. Not. Now. So. We have. Wives. Be subject. To your own. Husbands. And then. Go over here. To verse. To chapter. Six. Verse. One. And we have. Another. Strata. Of society. And it says. Children. Obey. Your parents. In the Lord. For this. Is right. So. First of all. There's. The submission. Of believer. To believer. Then. There is. The submission. Of the wife. To the husband. And now. There is. The submission. Of the children. To the parents. Collectively. Let me say this. Because it will be a long time. Before we get to it. Men. You need to establish. Your wife. As an authority. To the children. And wife. Do not. Deny. Your husband's authority. In the presence. Of the children. What am I saying? Children know. How to manipulate. Parents. If you don't think. They do. Well. You don't have. Children. So. And if they can see. A crack. Of disunity. Between mom. And dad. Or they can. See. That. Though mom makes. A decision. Dad will overturn it. Very. Very careful. There. Because both. Have. Authority. You see. The father. Has authority. The mom. Has authority. And children. I'm sorry. You have. No authority. None. Zilch. Now. You do have. Rights. But you don't have. Authority. Okay. So. We want. To make sure. That the children. Realize. That mom and dad. Are one. In this deal. And. To disobey. Mom. Is to disobey. Dad. And dad. Should be walking. So closely. With god. That to disobey. Him. Is to disobey. God. Now. And then. We have. Slaves. In verse. Five. Of chapter. Six. It says. Slaves. Be obedient. To those. Who are your masters. According to the flesh. Now. This. In no way. Means. That the new testament. Is endorsing. Slavery. What this. Does mean. Is this. The gospel. Has a. Completely. Different. Way. Of attacking. The maladies. In society. You know. Sometimes. Christians. Get all. Political. You know. I mean. They're just going to solve. All the world's problems. I'm a. Christian. Political. Activist. And I'm sure. There's some good to that. But we don't see that in the new testament. We don't see the apostle. Paul. Boycott. Boycotting. Six. Flags over. Caesar. Or. Caesar land. Or. We don't see. Political. Involvement. We don't see him. Attacking. The system. Politically. We see him. Attacking. The wrongs. Of society. Spiritually. Here's how we're going to do it. Slaves. When you become. Christians. Love and respect. Your masters. And masters. You become. Christians. Love and respect. Those. Who work under you. Do you see that? So we don't see a lot of. Political. Activism. In the New Testament, we see transformed lives, transforming culture. So here's what I want you to see. God has these different layers of strategy, of submission, and they are real. Believers subject to one another, wives subject to your own husbands, children subject to the parents, and slaves or employees subject to their employer. Now, we must be careful, very careful, that we do not explain away these roles. Please understand me. I know that we laugh about it, you know, and we make all kinds of jokes, but this is not to be joked about at all. If the Bible lays down principles that we are to obey, then we must obey them in the context of the family. Now, why do men not assume the biblical role of headship in their home? Why? Well, here's a few reasons. First of all, an ignorance of the scriptures. Now, ignorance doesn't mean that the men cannot learn. It just means it is a knowledge of the scripture that has not been placed before them. They've just never heard. Now, whoever's fault that is, that's not the issue here. Ignorance of the scriptures. Now, men are not aware of the seriousness of their calling and or they cannot biblically define their calling. That is, they are not aware of the biblical principles set forth in scripture or their practical application in daily life. We've kind of built that into Baptist life. Just kind of general and vague about how we're supposed to live. Now, I'm sure some of you have fought in the war in a few weeks, we have some missionaries going over to Cambodia where they have it's one of the areas where there's the most concentration of landmines that are still active. Now, maybe some of you fought in Vietnam. Men, you know, you don't want to be vague or general when you're walking through a minefield because you only get one chance to mess up. You don't want to hear something go click when you take your next step, because that's the last click you're going to hear. It's dangerous to have vague direction. That's true spiritually, that's why the Bible tells us we must walk circumspectly, we must follow what God has laid out now in Hosea four, six, it says my people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. It doesn't say that his people are just messed up a little bit. No, his people are actually being destroyed because of a lack of knowledge. We can see that about the family. We can see that about the family. Let me just throw this in here. Something I write down a lot of notes on church and what would I do if I planted a church and how would I and just something came into my mind the other day and I wrote it down. I want you to think about something. When I counsel pastors and I ask them, how many hours a day do you work? They say 10, something like that. I want you to think about this. I say, OK, 10, if you work 10 hours very, very hard, then I really recommend as soon as you finish that you need to get home to your wife and your children. OK. Think that's good advice, don't you? Here's the problem. The men in your church. Who are not in the pastorate, who are working out there, carpenters, factory, business and everything else, they're working 10 hours a day, OK? So when they get done working 10 hours a day, are they supposed to now do ministry? Doesn't that sound kind of lopsided? Pastor put in 10 hours, man, he needs to get home to his family. But the man sitting out in the pew, he's working 10 hours a day, and then after that he needs to go do evangelism. Or he needs to go do this or he needs to do that, he needs to get involved. Just something doesn't seem too right to me about that. But what if we did it this way? Pastor works 10 hours, whatever, goes home. Loves and cares for his wife, ministers to her, loves and cares for his children, ministers to them. And what if all the men, when they get out of the factory, they go home and they minister to their wife and they minister to their children? Doesn't that sound better? And then look how much ministry gets done. If men are not ministering to their wives and their children, then who's going to do it? The pastor. So you got all these men running around doing all these things, all these women running around doing all these things. Pastors wore out, they're wore out, no one's ever at home and the family's never together. It's like living in a condo with people you don't even know. Everyone just comes to your house at about eight o'clock at night to go to bed. Run through the kitchen and grab some kind of food or something that's been in the microwave for two hours. But what if the men went home? Just love their wives. Minister to their wives. Love their children, minister to their children. Then church doesn't. Get so entangled and so difficult, does it? Of course, there is a problem there. Everything's not centered in the church. And I don't have as much power. But it's still better. It's still better. These are things just just to think about, because I think about these things, maybe I should, you know, get a hobby or something rather than think on these things. But I'm like, man, you know, I'm always hearing, man, you know, you need to evangelism, you need to do this. And I'm going, hold it. These guys are working 10, 12 hours a day. Then you're going to send them out to do something again. When are they going to be with their families? I submit to you, if we ministered to the people who were closest to us. There'd be a whole lot of ministry going on. Now, Proverbs 29, 18, where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, but happy as he who keeps the law where there is no vision, you'll hear these preachers going, we need a vision, we need a vision. If we don't have a vision as a church, we're not going to do anything. That is not what this text means at all. I can prove it to you. This is what we call a Hebrew parallelism. That means a statement is made like the wicked shall be destroyed. And then another statement follows it to kind of explain to you what the first statement made, the wicked shall be destroyed, the wicked shall be cut off from the land. The second statement defines the first one. You see that in the same way this is going on here where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained. But happy is he who keeps the law. Now, what does that mean? Where the people are not being taught what the Bible really says, they're going to run unrestrained. It's not about a big vision. It's not about building some kingdom. It's just about where the people of God, where they don't see what the law is actually telling them to do, they will run unrestrained and they won't even know it. Of course, we don't want that. So there's an ignorance of Scripture. I am amazed, guys and gals, I am amazed at how ignorant I am. I mean, I will come, you know, I have a privilege of meeting a lot of people much greater than myself and the Kirk Camerons of this world and other people, and it's wonderful, but it's also very humbling because you meet them, you start talking to them and you go, man, where have I been all my life? Have I even read the Bible? And ignorance is something that, well, we just need to acknowledge that none of us know everything. And because of that, we can really get hurt. We can really I was raised on a farm. And as I shared with you, I think last week, one of the most dangerous things in the world is a farm. Especially when you decide you don't need to put all the shields on the hay baler. Or that PTO isn't coming off, don't put that shield across there only to have that thing fling off of there and knock you right out of the saddle. It's dangerous when you don't follow the rules. It's even more dangerous in our families when we don't follow the rules now, also not just the ignorance of Scripture, but the influence of psychology, sociology and especially feminism have emasculated, shamed and coward men. You know, I don't know. I guess it was in the sometimes in the late 60s, early 70s. We all decided that homosexuals and feminists knew better how to raise boys than we did. And there's a sense in which men have been coward. They have, you know, you just beat a dog and beat a dog and beat a dog, and finally you call the dog to yourself and it comes to you with its back all swayed, just, you know, not knowing really how to approach you. That's what we've done to men. That's what we do to our sons. That's what we let other people do to our sons. That doesn't mean that men are supposed to be these macho men who disdain the rights of women or anything like that. We're not talking about the way of the world, but we are talking about teaching boys to be men. And to not worry, you see, we think sometimes we think, man, when you stand up and you you live for Jesus, you tell people that you're a follower of Jesus Christ and you don't be ashamed. Well, in the same way, let me tell you this, assume the role of a man and don't be ashamed because that's part of following Jesus. It really is. Now, men are ridiculed, mocked as chauvinists, brutes and social dinosaurs if they even hint of a distinction of roles between men and women or if they attempt to live out the biblical mandate. Isn't it amazing? Amazing. Again, how much does media affect us? It's horrible. I mean, every time you see a man who is seeking to be something of a man on television, they make a fool out of him. He's either a buffoon, a gorilla. He just unthinking animal that just knows how to eat chicken wings. And that's about it. I mean, they just tear him to pieces. And you see things like this over and over and over and over. And what happens eventually, eventually it gets to you. And you rise up as a man and do something and then you get afraid. Because culture shoots anything of biblical masculinity, shoots it down now. Also, let me say this, the media represent misrepresents manhood. Now, just look at this and see if you're not in agreement. The typical hero in the movies is not married. You realize that the typical hero is not married, he is either divorced or an independent spirit who cannot be confined to the restraints of marriage and family. He may get the girl in the first movie, but in the sequel, she is gone and he's eyeing another. He doesn't make a commitment. He doesn't get married. He doesn't stick with one girl. That's not exciting. The first girl in the first movie is gone. And in the sequel, there's another one to chase that has an impact upon us. Another thing, he's not a family man. He does not go home to a family every night. He is uncomfortable around kids or they get in his way of life. Now, that's true. Just think about most of the heroes in the movies. They're not family men. They don't love their children. They're not dedicated to one woman. They're the complete opposite. Also, he is not given the hero in modern day media is not given to God honoring labor. He does not work a nine to five job. Votie Bockham, who I greatly respect, he said this after talking to a young suitor about his Christianity, a young suitor, possible suitor of his daughter. The next thing he's going to get to is this. He's going to find out is that young man, is he devoted to God honoring labor? Does he love hard work and find purpose in it? Because if not, he's not a suitable suitor. But the man of television, he's not that way. He's not that way at all. Mainly, he's a goof off who just happens to be smarter and more clever than everybody else. But he doesn't work hard. Also, he's not subject to the mundane, the hero in the movie. He never has to go to the grocery store. He never has to get an oil change, pay the electric bill or take his child to the dentist. Look at that. We set these guys up as heroes. So we see not only are women misrepresented, are they given a role model they cannot follow? As I said, I think a few weeks ago, a lady six feet tall that weighs about three pounds. In the same way, a model is set up for man. That is completely a distortion of what it means to be a man. Also, he is a moral and ethical contradiction, the hero in the movies. He risk his life to defeat the enemy and save the world. He'll do that while at the same time he's a drunkard and a womanizer who has a miserable life. That's oftentimes the way it is. He'll cheat on his wife. He'll save a kingdom, though. He'll risk his life so an asteroid doesn't hit the earth and kill us all. But he can't love his children because he's too busy. He's a moral contradiction. And now, men, let me tell you something. This affects you. And me a lot more than we think, if you commit the sin of fantasizing about another life, you know, you're a you know, get start all over and you have a different life. You don't fantasize about waking up at three in the morning and going to the drugstore because your child is coughing his or her full head off. No, you're swinging from ropes like Tarzan or you're Batman or you're flying some spaceship across the galaxy. Why, because we've bought into the idea that's what it means to be a man. And it's not at least it's not to a woman who has any sense at all. And it's most certainly not what it means to be a man, to a little boy or a little girl who happens to be that man's child. My little boys, they don't want a daddy who fights 30 men. They want a daddy who's going to come home tonight and make, you know, chocolate chip cookies you get at Walmart. And the purple, they're a little cheaper, but man, they're like the best. That's what they want out of a dad right there. Now, let me say one other thing. Another reason is disobedience. Men simply do not want to assume the role because it is hard work, requires self sacrifice and the reorientation of one's life, personal ambitions, hobbies, friends, et cetera. It does mean we all want to save the world, but do you want to do the dishes? We all want to win somebody in the Congo. Yeah, but do you want to just play with your child? We always want to do all this big stuff and we end up not doing anything and we miss what life is all about. I am so tired of men with great visions and grandiose schemes and everything else. Do you know what my vision is? My vision is to get home tonight and be obedient for the few hours I have left before I go to bed to wake up tomorrow morning and be obedient in the tiny little things, which at the end of my life will be gigantic, gigantic. Gigantic. Now. Let's look at some common untruths, being the breadwinner is enough. Being the breadwinner is an important responsibility of the husband and father, but it is not his only responsibility when the five o'clock whistle blows, his work is only beginning. I'm sorry, but that's what it means to be a man. Guys, it's tough. It's tough. And if you play this game right, you're going to want those kids to go to bed by nine. Because you're going to want to go to bed by nine, because you're just flat wore out. Another thing, men are called to give their wife and children the things they never had. That's an untruth. I hear men say that all the time. You know, I just want to work. I just want to give my kids the things I never had, sir. It was the things you never had that made you the man you are. It wasn't the things you had. And. I am amazed when I go to third world countries and I see how happy those children are when all they have is an empty milk jug and a piece of rope, but yet some of you men sitting here right now remember the same thing. You were born into poverty, you grew up in hard times and you were you had more delight, more fun than kids that have four hundred dollar video games and every sort of bicycle and so many toys they can't even walk across their room. You had more fun. A piece of rope, a big, big nail that you used in railroad ties, lash that thing down, tie it to a tree, slide down that thing like Batman. Someone's getting their arm broke, but everybody's happy. Nowadays, no one's happy. It just shows that what Jesus teaches is true. Sir, you weren't called to give your wife and your children. The stuff you never had, you were called to give your wife, a husband and your children, a father. That's not. Listen, my kids don't sit around, they're not going to sit around tonight going life's just miserable, dad's not as rich as Bill Gates. Because they don't even know that kind of life exists, I was preaching up in Detroit a few years ago and this man who built malls. One of his engineers, I met him and we were talking, he said they have a person who works in their house eight hours a day just to wash. I said just to wash what? Just to wash the clothes. No, no, just to wash the towels, the towels. Yes, and he said, brother, Paul, you don't understand, rich people don't dry off like me and you, you know, use the same tile towel forty seven times. All right. They don't they don't do that. All right, women, you wouldn't understand that. But all the men understand that. I said, well, how do rich people dry off? So, well, it takes about 40 towels. I said, what? He goes, rich people pat. They pat. Yeah, they take a towel and they go like this. They just put it their face and drop it on the floor. I said, those are my kids that I'd be patent something, but it wouldn't be with a towel. I'd make them run around in the garden naked till they dried off. I mean, my kids do not sit around just all crying because they can't pat. They don't even they would just look at that and go, what's wrong with those people? Your kids miss a whole lot. They don't miss as much as you think they do. And if they do miss something, it's only because someone else has convinced them they needed it. And it wasn't you, you never went to the toy store. Trying to convince your kid they needed a certain toy to be happy. Those advertisers on television do, don't they? Every day they build a lack of contentment in you and in your child, only so that you will buy from them. Now, here's another big lie. Quality time is a substitute for quantity of time. I hear parents say, well, I don't spend much time with my children, but I spend quality time. Let me just give you my scientific definition of that baloney. Doesn't work, and I'll tell you why. Let's use our relationship with the Lord. You know, sometimes I could share with you, as I am sure many of you could share with me, that there have been times in prayer where the Lord just seemed to come down. I mean, where you just sensed his presence, but that was born out of a quantity of time. I may pray for months and weeks and not really sense the presence of the Lord. But out of that one day comes just. A wind. Where, you know, the Lord has showed up, it's the same way. You know, I may spend hours and hours and hours with Ian or Evan. Rowan is only 20 months, so got to work on that, but or even with my wife, spend a lot of time and it won't be necessarily this thing I can call quality time. And then all of a sudden, one day out of the abundance of time I spend with them, something happens and you get like a half an hour, 45 minutes, an hour. And all of a sudden you are communicating with that child. Something is really going on now. Fathers, this is very important. It's kind of running a rabbit, but we'll pick it up later. And it's this couple of things. One, sometimes someone will call me and go, hey, it's Saturday and they have kids the same age as my kids. It'll be a good man, good man, good Christian man. And he'll say, hey, let's go out and do something. With our kids and I go, no, no, I can't today because I'm going to do something with my kids. Well, that's what I'm talking about. Let's go out and do something with the kids. I said, sir, we do something with the kids. You know what's going to happen? Me and you are going to do something. The kids are going to go play. That's not what I mean by doing something with my kids. A lot of times when I go out with my children, every once in a while we'll go out with some other people, but by and large, we don't. Why? Because I end up talking to the man all day while our kids run around and play in the mud. That's not going out with my children. That's me going out with him and watching our children. Another thing you need to take your children out together at times, you know, doing things together. But if that's all you do with your children, you're going to have problems. You've got to also take them out separately. Because when I take little Evan out by himself without his big brother, things start happening that don't happen when his big brother's there. There's an intimacy, there's things that go on. OK, same way, take his big brother out, leave Evan at home. Got to do that. OK, so this is very, very important. Quality time is not a substitute or quality time is not a substitute for a quantity of time. Also, here's the big lie. I can have my cake and eat it, too. The fact is you cannot. I know that it's really hard to believe that as an American, but you can't have your cake and eat it at the same time. It is a logical it is a fallacy. OK, you are going to have to make some sacrifices somewhere. However, if your heart is right with the Lord, it will be a labor of love. A very special verse in First Thessalonians one three says this constantly bearing in mind your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the presence of our God and father. It's got to be a labor of love, but you're going to have to make some sacrifices. You are it's just going to have to happen, man. You have to make a decision. You know, I just don't live in this world by myself and I just don't live for all my hobbies. I have a wife and I have children. And so I'm going to have to make sacrifices. One thing that you can do, though, is is have as many boys and girls who love to hunt and fish now, then you can kill two birds with one stone. But here's something just really practical, because in church we're often not very practical. If your son. Is less or your daughter is less than 10 years old and you're going to take them fishing, do not take a fishing pole for yourself. Because what will happen is you'll try to do both things and you'll get frustrated at them because they're getting in the way. It's just a little bit of information that I have learned by failure. OK, being a breadwinner is enough. That's a lie. Men are called to give their wives and children the things they never had. That's a lie. Quality time is a substitute for quantity of time. That's a lie. I can have my cake and eat it, too. You cannot. And the final one is, but I'm really tired. Join the club. So I got bags under my eyes. I'm actually 18 years old. I just look like this. OK, it's tough. It's tough. Now, one final thing I know we've gone over, but then we finish this part. I want you to think about the judgment of God in the upheaval of society. One of the reasons why we don't do these things is the judgment of God. On our society, I just let me read a passage to you just quickly, it's in Isaiah three, and it's it's really kind of frightening and it talks about our society. It says, verse one, for behold, the Lord God of hosts is going to remove from Jerusalem and Judah both supply and support the whole supply of bread and the whole supply of water. The mighty man and the warrior, the judge and the prophet, the diviner and the elder, the captain of 50 and the honorable man, the counselor and the expert artisan and the skillful enchanter. And I he's going to remove all of them and I will make mere lads their princess and capricious children will rule over them. When God judges a nation, he flip flops authority. So that so that it's unworthy, oftentimes children, young. Who end up leading and the man, the expert, the elder man who knows something of what he's supposed to be doing is subjugated to lesser men. And he goes on and the people will be oppressed, each one by another and each one by his neighbor, the youth will storm against the elder and the inferior against the honorable. When a man lays hold of his brother in his father's house saying you have a cloak, you shall be our ruler and these ruins will be under your charge, he will protest on that day saying, I will not be your healer, for in my house there is neither bread nor cloak. You should not appoint me ruler of the people, for Jerusalem has stumbled and Judah has fallen because their speech and their actions are against the Lord to rebel against his glorious presence. The expression of their faces bears witness against them and they display their sin like Sodom. They do not even conceal it. Woe to them, for they have brought evil on themselves. Say to the righteous that it will go well with them, for they will eat the fruit of their actions. Woe to the wicked. It will go badly with them for what he deserves will be done to him. Oh, my people, their oppressors are children and women rule over them. Oh, my people, those who guide you lead you astray and confuse the direction of your paths because Israel was disobedient to the commands of God and fell into idolatry. God flip flop authority. He flip flopped authority. So that the women and the capricious children were ruling over even the men of war. I know that, man, if there's any strand of feminism in you, you literally want to rip my eyes out right now. But I just read to you the scripture in judgment, God removes legitimate forms of leadership from a people in judgment, the God ordained order of authority is turned upside down or reversed. We need to be very careful of that in our homes and in our church and in our country. The sad thing about it is we can go so far that this is not just the doings of wicked men and wicked women, but it's God's judgment upon us. We need to take that to heart.