This sermon emphasizes the importance of building godly marriages and homes by focusing on the fear of the Lord, wisdom, and self-control. It highlights the need to prioritize reverence for God, control over hasty words and actions, and seeking peace in relationships. The speaker draws insights from biblical characters like Joseph and David to illustrate the impact of fearing God in overcoming temptations and building a strong foundation for marriage.

Let's bow our heads in prayer. Heavenly Father, marriage was not man's idea, it was yours, and you have a perfect plan, especially for your children. Help us to understand that more clearly. We pray that our marriages will be glorious as you intend it to be. We humble ourselves and seek your face. Give us wisdom. We pray in Jesus' name, amen. It's very interesting that the Old Testament begins with a marriage and the first miracle that Jesus did was also at a wedding. In other words, the New Testament begins with a wedding too. Why is that? It's not only that, the Bible ends with a marriage, marriage of Jesus and the church. And that shows how important marriage is in God's eyes and how the devil must be hating it because the message in the Bible is that as soon as God united a man and wife together, the devil came immediately to break it up, and he did. And the other message we learn in the Bible is that because Adam and Eve lost their connection with God, that's why they lost their connection with each other. You must remember that. You lose your connection or your attitude towards your partner because you first lost your relationship with God. And as long as we believe that devils lie, that the problem is with our husband or wife, you'll never get it right. It was when Eve lost her relationship with God, you know, that's what happened first. She disobeyed God and immediately her connection with God was broken. So think of that few seconds where Eve has eaten that fruit and Adam has not yet eaten it. Just those few seconds. Adam is still in a relationship with God, but Eve is not because she's disobeyed. And so she tempts her husband. She becomes the agent of the devil to tempt her husband to disobey God. It's very interesting that even the first book of the Bible, which is written as the book of Job, Genesis written years later by Moses, there also you read about a woman who tempts her husband to commit suicide. That's Job's wife. That's the reason why Job, I mean, Satan, who had permission from God to kill Job's family did not kill his wife. He kept her alive because he said, she's more useful alive than dead. I can use her to nag and trouble her husband. Now it could be the other way too. A man loses a relationship with God and then he tempts his wife to sin by anger or whatever it is. But what I want you to see there is that Eve lost her relationship with God first and then she led her husband to sin. And Adam obeyed his wife and also immediately lost his relationship with God. And then he begins to accuse his wife, saying she's the one. Instead of saying I ate it and taking responsibility for his sin, began to blame his wife. There's some wonderful lessons we can learn there from Genesis chapter three of husband-wife relationship. So remember whenever you have a conflict at home, and that happens in all marriages, until they come to victory, that it is not your partner's fault. It may be, but you've lost your relationship with God too. If one person in a marriage preserves his relationship with God, he can lift that marriage up. It's like if your wife has fallen into a pit, but you don't decide to fall into the pit, there's hope that you can pull her up, put a rope down and pull her up. But if you get upset and you fall into the pit too, then both of you are there, you can't pull each other. Or vice versa, if your husband has fallen into the pit, at least you stay on the surface and pull him up. So that's a very simple principle that we see right in the beginning of scripture. So why does it say in Ecclesiastes two are better than one? You know that verse, Ecclesiastes in chapter four, it says in verse nine, two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. Two people can accomplish more than one, because if one falls, Ecclesiastes four, verse 10, he can lift up his companion. It doesn't matter who it is. So think of the illustration I used, both of you are standing near a pit, one is careless, falls into the pit. If it is a physical event where one fell into a pit, what would you do? You would never jump into the pit yourself. We would never do that physically. Both of you are standing near a pit and one of you fall into the pit, will you jump in to save that person? No, but that's often what we do. When we have a little conflict at home. And that's why it's very important. You know, it's like, let me use an illustration. It's like if both husband and wife are seriously sick, can you imagine what will happen to the children? But generally you find in almost every home, if one is sick, the other is a little better. And haven't you found that in your own home that both of you are very rarely totally sick and knocked out in bed together? Two are better than one. And so at least there's somebody to care for the children. So one may be very upset one day, the other person should be steady. So two are better than one because one can lift up his companion. But if you can remember this thing, which I mentioned right at the beginning, that it's our relationship with God that's gone when we behave in an un-Christlike way. It's not the provocation of the partner. See, once we understand that, we will not blame. What is the necessity for Adam to blame his wife? He's the one who was at fault, really. Because he was standing next to his wife, his wife was talking to the devil. He should have stopped her. Hey, listen, forget this. We're not supposed to do this. There's a saying in medicine, prevention is better than cure. It's always like that. If you're careful in a disease-infected area to take the precautions not to get that disease, you'll be better off than getting it and then trying to get a cure for it. So if Adam had stopped it at that stage, the story may have been different. And each of us, as husband and wife, must see if you sense that things are going in a dangerous direction. You know, there was a little conversation going on there between Eve and Satan. And Adam could have sensed, hey, this is going in a bit of a dangerous direction. Let me now be steady. And that can happen in your home, too, where you suddenly discover that some things are happening or a conversation is going in a slightly dangerous direction. The devil is coming in. At least one of you must come to your senses and say, hey, let me not add fuel to the fire. Let me pour some water on the fire. Not put oil on the fire. That's why we need the power of the Holy Spirit to have self-control. And if the man is the head of the home, every husband, especially in India, likes to assert that husband is the head of the wife. Well, what does it mean? If the husband is the head of the wife, then he should be the one who is first alert to the danger and say, hey, I gotta hold this. I mustn't let this get out of control here. It's like two people are sitting driving a car and one is sort of collapsing or something. The other holds the wheel so you don't have an accident. There must be an alertness. So that's something we learned right from the beginning of scripture. And if God has given us a partner, the purpose is that together we can make a stronger home and a life for God than we could do by ourselves. In other words, our life must become more spiritual after we get married, not less. But generally I have found with many, many believers through the years, many believers backslide when they get married. In fact, there should be a forward slide when they get married. But I believe Adam became a better person when he got Eve because the Lord said it's not good for him to be alone. Have you noticed that difference in Genesis one? Let me point it out to you again. In Genesis chapter one, there's something very interesting. If you read Genesis chapter one, you know that every day God said it is good, it is good, it is good. God saw the light, Genesis one four, that it was good. And verse 10, God saw the dry land and the seas, it was good. Right through, it says all of the six days, except the second day, all the other days, it says it's good, good, good, good, good, good. And then in verse 25, after he made the beasts of the earth, that is in the first part of the sixth day, it was good. So six times, he says it is good, it is good, it is good. And then, all of a sudden, God says it's not good. Man, it's good, it's good, it's good, it's good, it's good. Some of a sudden, he says something is not good. And that is after he made Adam, he says in Genesis chapter two verse 18, before he made Eve, it's not good. That's towards the end of the sixth day, the first part of the sixth day, he made the beasts, and he said it was good, Genesis 125. And then the latter part of the sixth day, he made man first, and he says it's not good. So that is the first time, as far as we know, that God said something is not good, after he had created it. In other words, something was missing. And then God creates Eve and brings her to Adam, unites her, and then he says in verse 31 of Genesis 1, it is very good, not just good, but very good. So see the difference that a married couple made to creation. Up until that time, it was only good. And Adam alone, it was not good. And then all of a sudden, they're married, and it becomes very good. In other words, marriage is supposed to lift things to such a high plane. That's the message in the first two chapters of Genesis. And when we look there, you see God's heart. Dear brothers and sisters, I want to say to you, God wants you to be far better than you were when you were single, far more spiritual. If you were converted when you were single, today if you're married, your life should be far higher than it was in your single days. I can really testify it's true in my life. I was often backsliding in my single days, even as a believer. Marriage is meant to lift you up. Now there may be a little struggle in the beginning because two people are getting adjusted to each other, but that's just like learning to drive a scooter or a car for the first time, you're not sure, or learning to swim, you're not sure how to do it. Anything new is a struggle. Don't get discouraged by that. Anything new will be a struggle to learn to adjust how to do things. You shouldn't get disturbed by that. I mean, if a person says, oh, I'll never learn how to swim, then they will never learn, but if they persist, or I'll never learn how to drive a scooter or a car, then they will never learn, but if you persist, you know, many of you have moved into some new realm whether you started learning some new science like computer science or something like that. In the beginning, you couldn't understand it, but it's so easy now. It's like that. If you say, yeah, it's a little struggle in the beginning, but it's meant to lift me much higher than I ever was before. And in order to do that, you know, like I've often said, the Bible is the manufacturer's instructions. I never get tired of saying that, that every very expensive gadget, I mean, if you get a child's toy, which hardly costs anything, you don't get manufacturer's instructions how to use this toy, but if you get something really expensive, there's always some instructions. Particularly if you've got to assemble something, supposing you've got a table which has got to be assembled, there'll be a little piece of paper there saying, put this in first and this one and this one and this one, and you get a table, but if you ignore that, you may mess it up. So I can't imagine that God Almighty would get man married and never give any instructions how to do it, but the number of, you know, ruined marriages, forget the world, among Christians, is an indication of our pride. We think we know better than God, and we think that we can manage it without reading the manufacturer's instructions. And the result is that we're not really following our own ideas. We're following the ideas we have acquired from society, from a non-Christian society, as to how our marriage should be. And that's why even among many Indian Christian homes, you find the husband acts like a king. Where did he get that from? It's from his non-Christian culture. I've mentioned this at weddings sometimes, that there is Western culture, Eastern culture, and Christian culture. In Western culture, in a wedding, the bride is the most important person. Have you noticed this in Western-style weddings? Nobody stands up for the bridegroom. They don't stand up for the bride. In fact, they'll start the service. Then only the bride walks in. She's the queen. Even Jesus has to come there and wait for the bride, because the service has started. The Lord is there. What's the Lord waiting for? The Lord is waiting for the bride to come. I'm amazed how Christians can run a church service like this. Well, the Lord is there. They pray, they sing, and then the most important person walks in. And you see in Eastern weddings, it's different. Regularly in the North and some places in the South too, the bridegroom comes riding on a horse. And the bride sort of meekly walks like a slave, which she's meant to be for the rest of her life. That's Eastern culture. So in Eastern culture, the man is the important person. In Western culture, the woman is the important person. But in Christian culture, it's the Lord who's the important person. Man and woman are equal. That's why when I conduct weddings, I say, if you want to stand up, stand up for the bridegroom and the bride. But finally, we're not gonna start till all are here. And the Lord is the one who's gonna be last. We're gonna honor him. But that's not just a principle at a wedding. It must be right through our life. We can go through the ritual of following that pattern in a wedding. But is the Lord the most important person in our life if we accept that he's the only one who can keep us together? And I was thinking how the first day of their marriage, the devil never came. He came on the second day. The first day, you know, Adam was created at the end of the sixth day. So the seventh day was really their first day. And the first day, God said, you're gonna be with me. We're gonna spend time together. That was a Sabbath day. And they didn't go into the garden. They were with God the whole time. And the devil couldn't come anywhere near. And then the next day, they went into the garden. Of course, God had to do that because they had to be tested. And God left them alone so that they can see, recognize their condition. You know this verse in 2 Chronicles where it speaks about Hezekiah, that God left him alone. It says when, I think it's Hezekiah, I think it's chapter 32, is it? Yes, chapter 32 and verse 31. There's a little expression here. 2 Chronicles 32, 31. In the matter of the envoys, the rulers of Babylon who sent him to inquire the wonder that happened in the land, God left him alone only to test him. Look at that expression. God left him alone to test him that he might know all that was in his heart. And I think the meaning is that Hezekiah might know all that was in his heart. You know, because we think we're wonderful spiritual Christians till we come into some trial and God leaves us alone and then you discover what your heart is really like, that you are not so holy as you thought you were. And that's good for us to discover that. You see here, God had done a tremendous miracle for Hezekiah. The sun not only stopped but went back 10 degrees. And people all over the world wondered what happened and they discovered that there was a guy called Hezekiah in Israel who had prayed and that's how this thing happened. So rulers from Babylon came over there and he showed him all the wealth and all that. He began to show off as if he's a great person and God has blessed me. And God left him alone to see how proud he was and after that, he just went down and it was bad in his life. One who went on so well. So God left Adam alone but now in the new covenant, the wonderful thing is, like we sing in that song, no, never alone, he's promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone. In the moment of temptation is when I need him the most. He'll be with me but I can choose to be alone. I can choose, you know, like a wife who tells her husband, no, I don't wanna talk to you, I'm a bit upset with you and goes to bed, I'm not gonna talk to you. We can act like that to God, who's the loser? Then we are alone and the devil's waiting for the moment when you're alone. That's what I see in the beginning of scripture. That on the Sabbath day, they were with God and the devil knew, I don't have a chance here. But let me just wait. They'll be alone a little later, then I can get at them. So the way to a happy and a victorious married life is really the way to a happy and victorious Christian life, to seek to live in the presence of God all the time. He has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. If you're not familiar with that promise, Hebrews in chapter 13, Hebrews chapter 13 and verse five, make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have. For he has said, I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you. That's a promise and I read somewhere that in the original Greek, it says, I'll never, never, never, as if the whole Trinity is saying it three times, I will never, never, never forsake you. So the Father, Son and Holy Spirit saying, I'm gonna be with you. Therefore, we can confidently say, the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What will man do to me or what demons will do to me or Satan will do to me, they can never overcome me because whatever difficulties I may face in the world, and as long as we're in the world, we'll certainly face difficulties because that is a prophecy that Jesus gave. Many Christians don't understand that. Do you know that Jesus gave a prophecy to his disciples in John 16, 33, in the world, you will have tribulation. How can you, how can it be otherwise? In another place in Matthew 24, when they asked him, how's it gonna be in the last days? He said, they're gonna be famines and earthquakes and wars. So I never pray, Lord, let there be no famines, let there be no earthquakes, let there be no wars. I mean, that's praying against what Jesus prophesied. I don't do that. Some people do that, but I don't do it. When Jesus has said something's gonna happen, I say it's gonna happen. I pray that God will protect his children during famines and earthquakes and wars, that's okay. Well, I never pray that there should be no famines, no earthquakes, no wars. When Jesus said that, Jesus said, for example, the last days will be like the days of Noah. Noah's days are full of sexual evil and violence. And I don't pray, oh Lord, let India be free from all sexual evil and all violence. It's not gonna happen. The last days are gonna be like the days of Noah. But there was a Noah for God, stood for God in the last days, and I say, Lord, I wanna be like a Noah, standing for God in the last days. But the days are gonna be like the days of Noah. And so when Jesus says in John 16, 33, in the world you shall have tribulation, I'm not praying, oh Lord, let there be no tribulation. You know, so many Christians pray so many stupid prayers, and I'll tell you the reason. They don't read the Bible. They listen to what's popular. Oh Lord, let the whole of India be saved. I never pray that prayer. Because Jesus said there are very few who find the way to life. I say, Lord, lead me to those few people who are interested in finding life. I'm not interested in finding people who wanna go to heaven. Every person in the world wants to go to heaven. I want to meet the people who want to follow Jesus on earth before going to heaven. Those are the only ones I wanna meet, who can find salvation in Christ and be disciples of Jesus, because that's what he told me to do, go into all nations, make disciples. So primarily, I'm not interested in building happy marriages. I'm interested in building husbands and wives who wanna be disciples of Jesus. And when they're disciples of Jesus, they'll be overcomers. They may have tribulation in the world, like it says in this verse, be content with what you have, don't be, that means some husbands and wives may have very little. Some husbands and wives may have more. And I wanna tell those who have very little, don't compare yourself with those who have more. Be content with what you have. Hebrews 13, five, because he has said, I'll never leave you nor forsake you. So many problems in married life come because we say, they have got that, why can't I have that? Usually the wife who says that. Maybe sometimes husbands feel like that. Oh, they have got that, why can't I have that? And if necessary, I'll get into debt and use my credit card and live in debt forever after that, because I wanna be like them. It's just disobedience to the manufacturer's instructions. I remember when somebody was using a 110 volt electronic gadget in the United States, came to India and plugged it into 220 volts and the whole thing blew up. There's 220 volts here, you gotta know that. And if you don't have an adapter, the thing blows up. It's like that, it says, be content with what you have. And you say, no, no, no, I must have what that person has. Well, then you're gonna have problems. Be content with what you have, because he has said, I'll never desert you. Now, I'm not preaching what I haven't practiced. God allowed me and my wife to go through times of deep poverty right at the beginning of our married life. And at times when my brother and sister were extremely well off, after their marriage, but we went through a struggle. But I never, never once compared myself with my brother or sister. That can be a problem, comparing yourself with what your brother has, or your sister, your family, your blood brother and sister, I mean. So what, let them be, I mean, they were both millionaires when I was poor, so what? They could take their children around in cars and I could take my three children on a scooter, so what? I was content, I was happy. So if you long for something that somebody else has and you must have that, you're gonna have problems, brother, sister, in the world you'll have tribulation. We're ready for it, but he has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you. The important thing is to have peace, the presence of the Lord in our home. And then he said, the Lord is my helper. I'll not be afraid of what man can do to me. The responsibility, as I said, is the man's primarily. I'll show you that from Luke chapter 10. You see, that's what it means to be the head of the house. To be the head of the house means I'm responsible primarily to make sure the devil does not come into my home. It was Adam's responsibility to make sure that he stopped the conversation between Satan and Eve. He didn't do that. If he had done that, the story would have been different. Luke chapter 10, the Lord is telling his disciples when they went out to preach, he said, whatever house you enter, Luke 10 five, first say, peace be to this house. And if a man of peace is there, if the husband of that house is a man of peace, stay there. But if he's not a man of peace, even if you say peace be to this house, there will be no peace in that house. That peace will come back to you. It's like throwing a rubber ball against a wall and the ball doesn't stay there, it comes back. So you say peace be to this house, but it comes back to you because the man is not a man of peace. You can get any person to come and pray for your house. Oh Lord, let there be peace in this house, but it's like a rubber ball, it just bounces off the wall. If the man of peace is there, your peace will be there, but if that man is not a man of peace, the peace will just come back to you. But if he's a man of peace, then stay in that house. So that means that is the type of house the Lord wants to live in. The responsibility is the man's first of all. So what does it mean to be the head of the house? It means I'm the one to make sure that the devil doesn't get in here. I'm the one to make sure to protect my wife from the devil's schemes before it gets too late and to pray. It's amazing power we have in prayers. Adam was in a situation where the devil was not defeated. He was encountering an undefeated devil talking to his wife, but we are encountering a devil who's been defeated on the cross. He may talk to your husband, he may talk to your wife, but you're encountering a devil who's been defeated on the cross, and in the name of Jesus, you can quietly go somewhere and bind that activity of Satan in Jesus' name, and what you bind on earth will be bound in the heavenlies. That's our promise. There's a tremendous power in that, and you can bring peace into the home, into a situation. If you don't believe me, try it. But there must be one person, and if the man does not take his responsibility seriously, then the woman has to do it. Timothy's father had no interest in bringing up Timothy in a godly way because he was a Greek businessman, probably, I don't know, whom he worshipped, but she decided, the mother, Eunice, she decided, I'm gonna bring up my son in a godly way. If my husband doesn't take the responsibility, just too bad. It's just like if the husband is the one who's the main provider for the home, who goes to work, and brings in the finances, but what if the husband is sick and paralyzed? Then the wife has to go to work. There's nothing wrong in that if there's a need for that, and the same way, if the husband doesn't take the spiritual leadership in the home, then the wife has to do it. There's nothing wrong in that. I mean, if a husband is paralyzed, the wife doesn't say, oh, the husband is supposed to be the earner, so if he's not earning, we just sit back at home. You'll starve to death, and your children, too. So in the same way, don't just say, my husband, he's not taking the lead in spiritual things. Well, you take the lead, then. There's no use coming and saying, my husband is paralyzed. Then you go to work, earn something, take care of your home. We do that in earthly things. We must have that common sense that if a husband doesn't take the responsibility, if he's not a man of peace, you be a woman of peace. You know, there are some societies that are matriarchal. I don't know if you know what that means, where the wife is the boss. My wife and I were in Mongolia. It's a very funny type of country I was in, where the women are really the most capable people there, I noticed. They worked, they took care of the family and all that, and I think this goes back to the days of Genghis Khan, where he took all the men out for two, three years to war, and so women learned to run their home, and it's continued down to this century. So I go to a meeting. There are 50 people, there'll be about two men and 48 women, and my translator is a woman, and that's fine. So I used an illustration there, which I use very commonly. I said, you know, a wonderful thing, we have Jesus in our home, and Satan comes, that when Satan comes to the door, you send Jesus there. That's the meaning of going in the name of Jesus. I said, like, for example, if a thief comes to your house in the middle of the night, you send your husband to face the thief on the door, and they said, not in Mongolia. Mongolia, you send the wife. The husband sleeps in the bed. So that is very interesting for me to hear that. You can't use that illustration there. But in scripture, it's like this, that the man must be the head, the man of peace, who faces the devil. So you brothers, if you're born again, this is what headship means. It means to go ahead of your wife as a shepherd, as a leader, a good shepherd goes in front of the sheep, facing the dangers that, protecting the wife. You know, like the Indian way of husbands and wives particularly older husbands and wives walking is very beautiful to see. The husband is always about three feet in front of the wife, the wife is going. Spiritually, I mean, spiritually, it's a good picture. Actually, they should be walking together, but spiritually, it's a good picture that the man goes in front to protect the wife from dangers, not goes behind and gives all the dirty jobs to the wife. Have you heard that story of the American soldier who was in Vietnam during the war? And he saw this habit of the Vietnamese men walking in front and the woman walking at the back, you know, just like in a lot of Eastern countries. And then after the war was all over many years later, he visited Vietnam again. And now he saw the wife walking in front. And the man some distance behind. So he asked this man, why is it like this now? He said, no, after the war, there are a lot of landmines. So we let the wife go in front and test out the road before I get blown up. But you know, there's something there, which I find even in Indian homes where we can give the wife all the dirty jobs to do and all the difficult things. And in such situations, we walk behind. But in other situations, the man says, well, I'm the head of the house. I want you to listen to me. To be head means to be the leader, to face the devil, to face dangers, to take decisions. It's a very big responsibility to be the head of the house. And what is the biggest requirement both for husband and wife? Wisdom. In CFC, in our church through the years, because we have heard so many messages, and even messages on marriage. There's so many messages on our website. And even if we have meetings like this, in almost every conference, we have had meetings for married couples. And we have a lot of knowledge. But let me turn you to Proverbs 24 and verse three. It says, it takes wisdom to build a house. Understanding and knowledge are okay. But knowledge is like, you know, the latter part of verse four, it's like the furniture and the curtains in the house. Wisdom is what builds the house. So if you don't have wisdom and you have a lot of knowledge, it's like a man who's got no house, but he's put all his furniture out there, beds and sofas and all out in the open. So, knowledge without wisdom is as stupid as that. Without building a house, we put out all the furniture and beds and sofas. Wisdom builds a house. And wisdom is very different from knowledge. A lot of people have knowledge. Satan has a lot of knowledge. Satan has got more knowledge than you. If you ask Satan to give a lecture on principles of a godly marriage, he can give it any time. Because he's heard so many sermons and he knows so much of scripture. Knowledge is there, but he lacks wisdom. So remember this, what you need most in your life is wisdom. And Proverbs says that, if you turn to chapter eight, you know, it's one of the big themes in Proverbs, is wisdom. Proverbs chapter eight speaks a lot about it. And then the whole chapter is about the importance of wisdom. And then when it comes to, how shall we acquire this wisdom? It says in the next chapter, chapter nine and verse 10, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. So let's start with the ABC. How shall I build my home? We saw that in Proverbs 24, I need wisdom. How shall I acquire this wisdom? By learning to fear God, reverence Him. And we see here earlier on in, what is the fear of the Lord? Proverbs eight and verse 13. The fear of the Lord is to hate evil. That's the fear of the Lord. I wanna hate everything that's contrary to Christ's nature. Everything contrary to Christ's nature is evil, and I wanna hate it. So dear brothers and sisters, how shall you build your home? With wisdom. How shall you acquire wisdom? First step, the fear of the Lord, which is to hate evil. Anything that's contrary to God's laws, it's evil. Anything that's contrary to the nature of Christ, that's evil, and I must hate it. And if both of you pursue that, husband and wife, I believe God will give you more and more wisdom to build a godly home. And so that into that home we have children growing up, that you'll be able to bring up those children also with wisdom. Let me show you a verse in Proverbs 29. Proverbs 29, you know, just like Proverbs speaks about the wise, it also speaks about the opposite, the fools. Very often you see that contrast. A wise man does like this, and a foolish man does like this. In the book of Proverbs, there are many, many exhortations about the use of the tongue and speech. There's no book in the whole Bible that speaks as much about the use of the tongue and our speech as the book of Proverbs. I would really encourage you as husbands and wives to read Proverbs. There's a lot of wisdom in that. There's a lot of wisdom there about men going after other women in Proverbs chapter seven. Be careful. Lot of practical wisdom, how you can ruin your whole life by just one action, which takes just a few minutes, five minutes, and you'll ruin your whole life. Proverbs chapter seven warns against that. Be careful about seductive women, and there's a lot of them in a place of work nowadays. And we hear even of great preachers falling into sin. And a lot of people who are tempted very strongly in their place of work with other women. And sometimes wives can't understand that. I mean, I'm married to my husband, and is he not happy with me? Why is he looking at other girls? Why is he fascinated to talk to others? Well, that's because the sex drive in man is so strong. God has made it like that. It's more than 100 times as strong as it is in a wife, that there's this constant drive. And if the man doesn't keep it under control, it doesn't matter who the woman is. He can be tempted by women sitting in a bus or sitting in a church service or in an office, and with his frequent contact with a woman, and especially if that woman is very attractive, and especially if his wife has been nagging him, nagging him, nagging him at home, and he goes to office and finds this very pleasant girl there. He's just going to be tempted. And if he's not a strong Christian, he'll fall. If he doesn't fall physically, he'll fall in his thoughts. There's no excuse for it. There's certainly no excuse for a Christian, the fear of the Lord. So the book of Proverbs teaches us many things, and especially of the use of the tongue. Very, very important. And Proverbs 29, it says here, by the way, the Proverbs of Solomon end with chapter 29. Chapter 30 is, as it says there, the words of Agur, and chapter 31 is the words of some King Lemuel. We don't know whether it's Solomon or not. But if Proverbs 29 is the last of the Proverbs of Solomon, notice what he says in verse, what he's saying is, I'll come to this verse now. I have told you about many, many foolish people in this book. Now I will tell you of the biggest fool of all. 29, verse 20. Do you see a man who's hasty in his words? There's more hope for a fool than for him. That means the biggest fool I've mentioned so far is nothing compared to the man who's hasty in his words, or as another translation says, hasty in his matters. How many problems we have caused in marriage by being hasty in our words. You look back over your own life. Think of the times when you could have just waited a little before saying something, or like it says in Proverbs, in Psalm four, go and lay down in your bed and meditate a little before you speak. The result would have been different. Do you see a man who's hasty in his words? There's more hope for a fool than for him. He's the worst fool of all. The one who is hasty to say something, man or woman. So much can be accomplished. So much can be saved. So much peace can come. If you follow this simple instruction in the Old Testament. In the New Testament, of course, we are filled with the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit restrains our tongue. The fruit of the Spirit is self-control. But if you're not yet filled with the Holy Spirit, or you don't remain continuously filled with the Holy Spirit, here is the Old Testament method to overcome anger. The New Testament method, remember, is to be filled with the Holy Spirit continuously, that the Holy Spirit controls your tongue. You know what to speak, when to speak, how much to speak, and when to stop. But for those who do not live continuously in the fullness of the Holy Spirit, here's the Old Testament method. Psalm 4 and verse 4. This is the verse quoted in Ephesians 4 as be angry but don't sin, Ephesians 4.26. Be angry but don't sin is quotation of Psalm 4, verse 4, where it says tremble, and that means tremble with anger. But when you tremble with anger, don't sin. Go and lie down on your bed and keep your mouth shut. And I like the message Bible says, build your case before God, and wait for him to give a verdict. Build your case, go and lie down on your bed, and build your case before God, and let him give the verdict. That's the second best method of overcoming anger. Not hasty to reply, but I'm trembling with anger. That's the time when we must keep our mouth shut. Go and lie down on our bed or get away from that situation. What do they say? When you're tempted to lose your, when you're irritated by somebody's faults, count 10 of your own. And then your mouth will be shut. Remember when you see an imperfection in your partner, that you're imperfect too. I remember at different times, you know I've traveled in different places, and when I find that I had to bear with a brother's weakness or limitation, say some brother is not, doesn't do things right, and it creates problems for me, and I have to bear with it. What the Lord has told me is, you forget that there could be weaknesses in you that he has to bear with. He doesn't realize his blind spots where he's got weaknesses. Those are blind spots, and you don't realize yours. So if you can remember that, it'll help you to bear with him if you remember that he has to bear with you. That's helped me a lot. You know, each of us has got certain strong points and some weak points which we don't even realize. Some, what they call blind spots, where I can't see something is wrong with me, but I don't see it. And I'll tell you from years of my own marriage, I've discovered there are a lot of blind spots in me which my wife can see. But they are blind spots because either blind spots, which I don't see clearly, or habits that I've acquired through the years, which are not good habits. You know, like when I used to drive a car, I was always driving very fast. It's just a habit I acquired from the military days. And I say, no, I shouldn't do that, I shouldn't do that. I still find myself, when I'm not thinking, that I go too fast. You can't say it's a sin, but it's dangerous. There are times when I've had a toss from my scooter, and I said, Lord, what are you trying to say to me? What's my sin? He said, driving too fast. Said, drive slower. Okay, it's to protect me from more serious accidents. So this business of haste, haste on a scooter or a car, or haste in words, we want to, we're living in a world where we're doing everything so fast. We've got to do this, we've got to do that, and we can be hasty in our words and destroy our relationship. So be very careful there. I was also mentioning about the fear of God. I just want to mention a little more about it. It's amazed me when I read in Genesis 39, Genesis 39, I was recently thinking about it also, Genesis 39, how Joseph, when he was tempted by Potiphar's wife, he, notice the answer he gave to Potiphar's wife. When she said to him, Genesis 39, verse seven, lie with me, he refused. And he said, in the last part of verse nine, how can I do this great evil and sin against God? Imagine a 19-year-old young man saying something like that, who has no Bible, and Jesus hasn't come, he doesn't know anything about Jesus Christ, no Holy Spirit dwelling in him, no fellowship, no meetings, no marriage seminars, no instructions to young people how to overcome temptations of sex. Today, people need to hear so many messages on overcoming sexual temptation. He didn't hear one, and he didn't have a Bible. He had a God-fearing father who told him a little bit, but that father was not here. He was sold away as a slave, and his family was far away in a heathen country, far away from relatives, friends. And this, he's not going after a woman, it's a woman coming after him, and you can see a lot of that today also. Women will throw themselves at you. Imagine, maybe she was an attractive woman. Some attractive woman throws herself at you, and there's nobody you know around, and you're all alone in the room, and you're far away, and you, and you're, boy, you've got to admire this fellow Joseph. That taught me one thing. To overcome sexual temptation, you don't need the Bible, you don't need a church, you don't need to hear messages on how to overcome sexual temptation, you don't need fellowship, you don't need anything except the fear of God. What all excuses we make when we fall into sexual sin. Oh, I'm not filled with the Holy Spirit. Oh, brother, I was not careful. I wasn't reading the Bible enough. I wasn't attending the meetings enough. No, brother, go to the root cause. You have no reverence for God. He wasn't there in your eyes. He was there watching you, but you ignored him. Every time we fall, even in our thoughts, in the sexual area, and I'm talking married people, working with women, I'll tell you this, if you're not faithful in this area, you will never have wisdom. You see, what's the connection between my talking flirtatiously and never touching a woman in my office, but just talking flirtatiously and having problems at home? You don't have fear of God there, and the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. And there in your office, you prove the whole day that you have no fear of God at all, well, you're never gonna get wisdom. You're never gonna get wisdom to run your home. You're never gonna get wisdom to have a happy marriage, because it's wisdom that builds the house. So how shall we start? The fear of the Lord, reverence for God, like that brother Lawrence wrote a book on the practice of the presence of God. Lord, you're here. You, Lord, you see me all the time. You see me all the time. You're watching over me. You're here right now. I can't afford to sin. How can I? What a question. How can I commit this sin against God? Do you read some of these Old Testament people and find them put you to shame? Have you ever said such words in any situation in your life? Have you said these words of Joseph's? How can I commit this sin against God? Can you think of any situation where you are all alone and you could have easily sinned, maybe sexual area or any other area, and the only thing that held you back from sinning was how can I sin against God? I will not lose my testimony. I will not lose anything, but how can I sin against God? And here, I mean, he had a lot to gain. He could have pleased his master's wife and got promotions and all types of things. He was willing to lose all that. Imagine, just the fear of God. So there's one thing that Jacob taught Joseph, to fear God, and that's the thing that helped him. That's a great thing that we need to teach our children. Like it says in Psalm 34. By the way, this is a Psalm written by David before he became king. It says that in the top when he pained madness. That means before he was 30 years old. Here's a 28-year-old, young, unmarried man. David, he wrote it when he was maybe 28, definitely less than 30. Psalm 34, verse 11. Come, you children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of the Lord, who is the man who desires long life, that he may say, good days, keep your tongue from evil. Verse 14, seek peace and pursue it, because the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous. Come, you children, verse 11. I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Boy, I wish we had some 28-year-old young men and women in our church who could say to others, come, my brothers, sisters, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. This is David, who had no New Testament, just a few books of the Old Testament. No Holy Spirit dwelling within him. But he had learned the fear of the Lord. Of course, later on, he backslid. It's usually what happens when people become rich. Have you noticed in your life, in the days when you were poor, struggling, you had more fear of God? Now you've become rich, with plenty of money. The fear of God gradually departs. I have seen it universally. It's a very sad thing that happened to David. That's why he completely lost the fear of the Lord. Later on, married eight wives, and I don't know how many concubines he had, and sinned with Bathsheba, and killed her husband, and all that. But in the beginning, I've seen young people like this, God-fearing, as they grow up, they become backsliders. It need not be like that. In the New Testament, we can go from glory to glory to glory to glory, the path of the righteous to shine more and more until the perfect day. So, brothers and sisters, let's have hope for our marriages, that we shall build our home with wisdom, repent of all the times in the past. We think the problem is some marriage counseling between man and wife. No, sir. No, sister. It is the lack of the fear of God in your situations unrelated to marriage. Fear of God is tested in our office, when you travel in a bus, and you're driving down the road. The fear of God, fear of God, if you live in that, God will give you such wisdom that'll help you to build your home. So, let's ask for that. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you for your goodness to us. We thank you that you're a merciful, forgiving God. Otherwise, none of us would be here. And therefore, we have great hope, but we don't want to keep on disappointing your heart. We don't want to keep on hurting you like we have done in the past. All the times we have hurt you in the past, Lord, brings us to deep repentance today, that we never want to go back down those evil paths again. We want to have godly marriages, godly homes, homes built by the wisdom of God. That'll be an enduring testimony to the power of Jesus Christ to make our home like a light that shines in the world. Oh, God, our Father, have mercy upon us. Fill us with the Holy Spirit and the spirit of the fear of the Lord will control our whole being. We humbly ask in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.