In this sermon, the preacher emphasizes the power of love in winning people over. He uses a personal example of coming home after a difficult day and getting into an argument with his wife. He highlights the importance of finding joy in daily tasks and responsibilities, whether it be work or taking care of children. The preacher also addresses the challenges faced by Christians in America, where church can often be seen as boring and Sunday school lacks proper moral instruction. He urges parents to be aware of the negative influences their children may encounter at school and to provide them with biblical teachings and guidance.

Let's open our Bibles to Genesis chapter 2, verse 18. Then the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. Verse 22. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. We're going to talk about several things this morning prompted out of the things that came about in this conference and the questions that were asked. And some things that are evident to anyone who seeks to observe our culture and compare it in light of Scripture. And that is what we call the almost absolute loss of manhood in our country. The loss of manhood. We're going to be speaking about this. First of all, let me give you some background. In the Scriptures and throughout most of civilization, there has been this idea that a male is either a boy or he is a man. And that is not only biblical, it is very, very convenient. There are not many young men who desire to be called a boy. And in that case, when there's just two categories, either a boy or a man, the young boys work very hard to no longer be boys and to put away childish things and to become men. But something that has happened that is the result of a false evolutionary model, false ideas of human development, so that now we no longer have two categories, but three, there's no longer the category of boy and man, but boy, adolescent and man. And adolescent is a false view of human development. It's based on evolution. It's not based on Scripture. And Jesus says you will know things by its fruit. And the fruit it has produced is devastating. So that now what we have is when a little boy reaches the age of 11 or 12 or 13 or wherever you want to put the line, he is referred to as an adolescent. And in this adolescent stage, it is believed that he is to be searching for autonomy, self-discovery, and he should be rebellious and all the things that he is. The problem with that is this. The Bible never teaches that children are to reach an age when they start seeking their own autonomy and become rebellious and disobedient and flagrant with regard to the commands of their parents and respect towards their parents. Secondly, adolescence provides a wonderful category for the lazy boy who wants to experience the privileges of a man but does not want to assume the responsibilities of a man. And so what we have now is little boys that grow into 11 or 12 or 13 year olds and then they enter the stage of adolescence where they continue to act like boys but demand the privileges of a man. And for the most part, in the generations that are before us today, they stay in this category well into their 30s. And it is what we are coming across as the loss of biblical manhood in the United States and the West, also Europe. This is a devastating thing. I was speaking to young men last night and I said, you know, you don't want to be called boys, but you still play video games. Am I to jump in a foxhole with you if there's a war? Am I to depend on you? One of the things that we've got to realize is we've got to as Christians to reject our culture and begin to realize that the primary responsibility of a man is to raise up godly men. The primary responsibility of a father if he has sons is to invest his life at all costs in his sons to work so that when they reach the age of 17 or 18 they can assume the title of a man and no longer be a boy. Because a country, a civilization, and the church cannot exist upon the shoulders of boys but men. I know that maybe this sounds harsh or devastating to many of you, but it's simply true. It's simply true. Now, a lot of young men will ask me, they'll say, well, when can I start dating? Well, first of all, dating is not a biblical concept whatsoever. It, again, is a fabrication, it's part of our culture, and it's not even an old part of our culture. It's a recent development over the last hundred years. Dating, what do you mean by dating? You mean primarily recreational dating. You want to go out with a girl, right? Why? Why? Because, again, just like adolescence, you want to enjoy the privileges of having a mate without assuming any of the responsibilities of having a mate. Again, as a little boy, you want to play like a man without assuming the responsibilities of being a man. A lot of times a young guy will ask me, well, when can I get involved with someone of the opposite sex? And I say, well, that's very easy when you become a man. Well, what does that mean? Well, according to Scripture, first of all, you must be able to spiritually lead a woman and spiritually lead a household. Until you reach that point, you cannot be considered biblically having entered into manhood. You must be able to spiritually lead your wife and be willing to do it. To not only have the knowledge to do it, but assume that responsibility upon your shoulders of leading your wife spiritually. And then training your children spiritually. If you are not involved in leading your wife, even if you're a Sunday school teacher, whatever you are, if you're not involved in leading your wife, if you are not pouring your life into your children, teaching them the Scripture, setting before them an example, you are not assuming the responsibility of biblical manhood. You're dropping the ball. You're dropping the ball. Now, not only are you, before you can even think about entering into a relationship with the opposite sex, not only must you be able to spiritually lead your family, but you must be able to physically protect your family, to be a protector for your family. Now, that doesn't mean that you're six foot, you know, four and shrouded with muscles. But it means that as a man, you have developed the character that you're going to meet every adversity at the door. You're not sending your wife to do it. You are the protector of your family. You assume that responsibility of this family. You stand at the door. You're not like Adam who will stand at a distance while a serpent talks to his wife. You are the one who stands at the door and you meet every adversity head on. It is your job to protect your wife so that she does not have to deal with adversity. It's your job to protect your children so that they have for a while, while they are growing, a place that is secure and safe. A home. And then, when can I start? Young men ask me to pursue a relationship with the opposite sex. When you can be a provider for that person. Put it this way. If mom and dad are still paying all the bills for you, you have no right to even think about the opposite sex. I used an illustration yesterday. I love to hunt and I make bows and arrows. And because I shoot a longbow that's made all out of wood, the arrow doesn't travel as fast as a compound bow. And so I have to use a special broadhead or arrowhead that is two-bladed. And it has to be extremely sharp. Now, when my boy was three years old, he started shooting a bow with me. And now he's four years old and he can shoot pretty well. My little boy, he uses feel points. They are dull little points that go on the end of the arrow. They'll stick in a bag, but that's about it. And they'll stick in daddy's leg if he shoots him. But they're not that dangerous. My little boy will not use broadheads on the end of his arrow as long as he remains a little boy. He will have to grow into something other than a boy to use broadheads like that because they're dangerous for a little boy. In the same way, boys should not be even attempting to participate in things that pertain to men, even if they're 20 years old and still boys. Just because you reach a certain age or a physical development does not mean you have the right at all to participate in something that belongs only to a man. Look what it says in 23. The man said, this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to a wife. There is no sense in the Bible, neither in cultures around the world except for in the West and in modern times of this idea of recreational dating. I want to go out with her because I like her. I want to go out with her because I want to have a good time. That's not why you enter into a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. The average so-called Christian in America has five major relationships before they ever get married. And so when they make it to the altar, five parts of them are already dispersed throughout the land. They're not a whole person. You cannot enter into a relationship of any sort of intimacy without leaving a part of yourself behind. And that is why Scripture never even speaks about something like recreational dating. Also, there's no idea whatsoever of a boy still living under his parents' roof, still being fed from their table, still being paid for by them, who is now going to go out and entertain the thought of being with someone of the opposite sex. There's no room for that. It says if you want to participate in a relationship with the opposite sex, you leave your father and your mother. And you say, well, we practiced. I mean, everything would have to be changed. Exactly. But I'll tell you one thing. Your 16-year-old would grow up a lot faster if he knew that, hold it, I cannot be a boy nor play the things of a boy, and at the same time expect to be allowed to participate in the privileges of a man. Then again, fathers, listen to me. It again is your primary responsibility to make sure that when your boy hits 18, he is a man. Now, why is manhood gone from us today? Well, what do we expect? I was asking a group of kids this morning. I said, let me ask you a question. When you go to high school, do you ever hear guys sitting around talking about, man, I want to grow to be a fine man. I want to develop character. I want to be able to take care of myself and then go from there and find a wife and raise a godly family. No, they're all playing with, you know, PlayStations and stuff. I mean, look at that. The Aguaduna tribe that I worked with for many years in Peru. By the time a boy is 14, he can marry. Because he can already build his house, he can already plant a field, and he can already fight in battles to defend his tribe from other tribes. You see. But we live in a culture in which a high schooler, it's entertainment, the god of sports, all different things that just occur. And there's never this idea of I'm supposed to be a man. I'm supposed to grow into a man. And then you go to college, which in America is just basically a glorified high school. And it's the same thing. Let's party. Let's do this. Let's do that. Let's run around with our friends. There's no idea of becoming a man, of providing for myself, of being able to buy a home, of being able to take in a family. There's no idea of any of that. It's just, let's just continue the play. And then even after college, many men will, again, not assume responsibilities. Well, finally I'm making money. I can buy more Playstations. I can have more hobbies. I can have more toys. And then, of course, they want sex, so they'll enter into a relationship. But oftentimes, even after marriage, marriage never assumed the responsibility of that relationship. There is an old adage that's sometimes very, very true, that men don't marry wives. They marry mothers. That they want the mothering just to continue. But that's not what the Bible teaches at all. Now, he says here, well, let me just say this. I said this last night, but it's very important to iterate it. Is that parents, don't be deceived. There's this idea now that when your child is 11 or 12, or this or that, or however old now, that the age keeps getting lower because we do not protect the innocence of our children. The age keeps getting lower, so now, you know, the kids are 10. They start thinking about the opposite sex and everything. You think that when that little bell goes off in your son's heart, that there are girls out there and they really don't have cooties? You think when that little bell goes off in his heart, it's time for him to participate in that? That's not God's sign to him that it's time for him to participate. It's God's sign to him that it's time for him to take seriously his preparation towards manhood so that one day as a man he can participate. It's the same way with your daughter. These little ideas of letting your sons and your daughters at 9 and 10 and 11 and 12 date and do all this silly stuff, it's sick. I can say that because I'm not the pastor here and I'm leaving today, but it's sick. I told someone the biggest mistake you could ever make is walk up to one of my two little boys and say, boy, you're a handsome young man. I bet you've got a bunch of little girlfriends because I'm going to stop you dead in your tracks and I'm going to tell you off and I'm going to keep you from my children. My little boys are supposed to be building forts and fighting dragons and watching Chronicles of Narnia. They're not to enter into the world that's in your brain. And what happens is, young men, young women, listen to me. That little spark goes off. There's no one to direct you. The peers and the people you most learn from are television and the other kids and teenagers around you and there's not much really influence other than that and so you go ahead and jump into that. You know what? You spend most of your life talking about girls and boys and chasing things down and walking through malls and doing all that kind of thing and you never develop into manhood. All those years are supposed to be used developing character of manhood and womanhood, but they are not. They're wasted. They're wasted on what some scholars call a culture of the mall. Now, am I saying these things because I want to be hard? No, I'm saying these things because I wish someone had said them to me. Because it is true. It's extremely true. It is very, very true. And what is the pain is that we have allowed, back in the early 70's and late 60's, we decided it was really that we should listen to a bunch of feminists and homosexuals to teach us how to raise boys. And that's not at all what we should have done. We should have gotten back into Scripture. We should have gone to the old paths and the old ways and rediscovered. Now, here's something that you need to understand. We're also a culture of materialism. Listen, there was a time, those men after World War II, they worked to put food on a table and they were respected for it. Men were respected because they put food on the table. Now, that's not good enough. You've got to have two SUVs in the garage. And most men and most women are working all the time and it is not to put food on the table. It's to buy all the toys of a status mesmerized culture and to pay for all the hobbies and the children go to seed. Your primary obligation, sir, is not to give your child everything you never had because most of the things you never had are the very things that made you into the man you are. The fact that you didn't have hardly anything and you worked and you struggled and it made you into a man. And it's all the little things you never had that you are giving to your children that's causing them to be quite useless. We're not called to give our children everything we never had. We're called to give our children ourselves. We're called to give them a mentor, a father, a leader, a teacher, a scribe. Those are the things we are called to do. This is very, very important. Extremely important. He says, the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother. He shall stand on his own. So many women want to enter into manhood nowadays. They really shouldn't because one of the burdens of manhood is he shall leave his father and his mother and he shall stand on his own. And then he shall go forth and look for a mate. And then I want us to go over for a moment. I want you to go over to chapter 3 after the fall. God speaking to Adam. In verse 19 He says, By the sweat of your face you will eat bread till you return to the ground because from it you were taken for you are dust and to dust you shall return. By the sweat of your face you will eat bread. If men would learn this one truth, it would make them much more content. See, you live in a culture. It's like if you ever drive around like new neighborhoods and things and look at the houses that are being built. When I was a kid, only millionaire doctors lived in those kind of houses. But now we expect, if we work in a factory part-time, we ought to live in that kind of house. We have come to the idea that we are the culture that deserves absolutely everything. We deserve it. Whether we deserve it or not, we still deserve it. And we think that we ought to be able to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous. But don't you know that Jesus said the lifestyle of the rich and famous is the very thing that sends them to hell? No, sir, you're not. Do not be deceived by thinking that you ought to have a pretty easy life and you ought to be able to go on a lot of vacations and you ought to be able to hunt and fish anytime you want and you ought to be able to come home from work and you've provided the bacon and sit down in a chair and be like a dead log the rest of the night because you deserve it. No, sir, that's wrong. You are to live by the sweat of your brow. That is your life as a man. You have many obligations to fulfill and there are very little time abreast for you. I'm sorry, that's manhood. That's manhood. The fact of the matter is we are to rise up early and we are to work and we are to come home from work and then our work begins. We have a wife to care for who needs a lot more than just bringing home the bacon. And we have children that must be mentored and discipled. And when we go to bed, we collapse on that bed and we wake up the next morning. Yes, if I had time to preach on the wife's duties, we would be sharing about this is the reason why she needs to make her home a home for her husband because she realizes his life is one of toil and sweat. But see, we're the culture of believing that we ought to have an easy life. When the fall occurred, the ease of life went away. And a man, here is the thing, most men work and they hate it and they're around their families enough to just do enough to be done in order so that they can finally escape from work and family to go out and do something they really enjoy. And so their life is always in this hobby or this thing they want to do or in escaping or resting or golf courses or boats or hunting. The only way you're ever going to find contentment is seeing your work and your responsibilities on the face of the earth as ordained by God and as having its reward in heaven and giving yourself to the work that is set before you and finding your joy and pleasing God in your manhood of responsibility. They say, well, Brother Paul, you just got through saying that you like to hunt and you like to fish. Yes, I do. But I don't get to do it a whole lot. At least not as much as my friends. At least not now in my life. There are different periods in your life when things are different. Now I have two boys who are still too young to hunt. I don't really want to set up in a tree Saturday morning thinking about the fact that they just got up and are eating pancakes with Mom. I would rather be with them eating pancakes as much as I love to kill animals. You see, there's this idea of where is your heart? True joy is not found in continuing to be a boy with more expensive toys or continuing to guard your time or continuing to seek to be mothered by someone who shouldn't be your mother but your wife. Contentment is found in assuming the responsibility God has laid before you and joyously laboring in the work He has given you to work to provide for your family. Someone says, well, I provide for my family. Good, you've done about a tenth of what you're supposed to do. Now get to work with the rest of it. You say, well, I provide. Well, that's what you're supposed to do. Now let's talk about the other things that you and I are supposed to do. The most important human being on the face of the earth to a man ought to be his wife. Period. And the most important human being on the face of the earth to a wife ought to be her husband. Let me put it this way. It's a grotesque way. It's a stark illustration. But if I'm in a boat with my wife and my two boys that I would die a thousand deaths for, and I'm the only one who can swim, and that boat goes under, and I've got to save somebody, and I can only save one, biblically it is my responsibility to save my wife. You ever hear the thing, well, there's no love like a mother's love? Try to find that in the Bible. You try to find that in the Bible. The Bible says there's no love like a father's love. Enough of these wife tales. Do you know why so many women are so attached to their children? Because since all their emotional needs that should be met by their husband are not being met by their husband, they feed off their children emotionally. They get the emotional nourishment from their children that they should be getting from their husband. And that's why they're so attached to their children. Now you understand why I preach in a lot of places once. Now you understand why no one ever asked me to come preach on Mother's Day. A lot of you mothers right now are ready to kill me. The thing about it is, you love your wife more than... yes. And you know what? When a boy or a little girl looks up and sees, my daddy loves my mama more than anybody on the face of the earth, they go, this house is secure. My daddy's not going anywhere. This is a rock. And then when they see that their daddy loves their mother more than anyone on the face of the earth, they go, well, that's how you treat a woman. And then my little girl, if I have a little girl one day and she looks up and says, my dad loves my mom as though she was a queen, I'm not going to accept anything less. You see, sir, you do a disservice to your sons because they're not going to very much rise above you and your love and your cherishing of your spouse. You do especially a disservice to your daughter because she'll probably marry a yahoo just like you. Or even worse, since she hasn't had much affection from you, she'll marry the first guy who comes along who shows any affection. Now let's go for a moment to Ephesians 5. Oh, before we do that, let's go to Romans 8. 28, For we know that God causes all things to work together for good, for those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose, for those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son. What is the great purpose of marriage? It is not that marriage be a little piece of heaven on earth. It is not perfect compatibility. That's why all these dating services that look for compatibility are just so unbiblical and wrong. Marriage is not about compatibility. It's not a little piece of heaven on earth. What is marriage? What is the purpose of it? It has one purpose. To conform you to the image of Christ. That's the purpose of marriage. Now how is that? The thing that we most think about when we think about Jesus Christ is His unconditional love. The purpose of marriage, sir, the one purpose, if you're a Christian, of your marriage is God has so orchestrated your marriage with one purpose to teach you unconditional love. That means He's going to give you a wife who meets the necessary conditions so that you're not tempted beyond what you can bear. But He's going to give you a wife and even orchestrate the weaknesses in her. He's going to give you a wife that does not meet all the conditions and oftentimes does not meet some of the conditions that are most important to you. He's going to give you a wife like that so that you learn to love unconditionally and thus become like Jesus Christ. That's the purpose of marriage. And so why is that important? Well, because most people get divorces or just as bad, they don't divorce, but they die to each other. They live in the same house, even can sleep in the same bed, but really have nothing to do with one another. Even though they might treat each other decently, there's nothing there. And why is that? It always happens because each one did not meet the other's conditions. Now, they might be right conditions even. They might be selfish conditions, boyish conditions, bratty conditions, all kinds of conditions, and most of them aren't even right. But the fact of the matter is, a guy says, man, who have I married? What have I done? The rest of my life. He'll either divorce her or he'll say, well, the rest of my life, I've just got to live. This is my plight in life. I'm dead. Go get a hobby. And the woman usually doesn't get a hobby. She just takes her children as a replacement. And they're dead to each other. Why? Because she didn't meet his conditions and he didn't meet hers. But God has brought you together and even orchestrated the weaknesses in each of you in order to teach each of you to love unconditionally. So when you marry someone and you think, man, there's purpose in this. Why? Man, I just love her so much. Everything she does I like. And I mean, this is wonderful. And this is great. And there's purpose in that marriage. But then when you marry someone, you say, well, there's nothing in common. Man, I've blown it. There's no purpose. No, that's where the purpose begins. If God gave you a mate and you just fit perfectly and you can love her conditionally because she meets all the conditions, you're both probably lost. God doesn't do that to His people. God doesn't give them perfect marriages. He just doesn't do that. He brings His people together. Okay, I'm going to give you this guy and he's going to rub you wrong in all the areas where you're most sensitive. And I'm going to give you this lady and she's going to rub you wrong in all the areas where you most want her to rub you right. Why? Because I want both of you to learn to love unconditionally. See, marriage teachers, one of the things they do is they say, okay, both of you come together, find out exactly what each other wants and meet all the conditions. Now, there is a drop of truth in that. You should seek to know what your wife wants. But that's not the way you make a marriage strong. You make a marriage strong by realizing the purpose of this thing is for me to love unconditionally. And when people say marriage is 100%, 100% on both sides, that's true, but they don't understand what they're saying. They think that that means I'm to give 100% and she's to give 100%. That's not what it means. It means this, even though she doesn't meet any condition whatsoever, rebels and treats me like dirt every moment of the day, I am to serve her like Jesus Christ. And even though He does not respond to anything and has made my life horrid, I will treat Him as though He were the best of husbands. I will not treat Him according to what I think He deserves, but I will treat Him and I will treat her according to what my Lord hath commanded me. Now, you've got to think twice before you think about getting that relationship now, aren't you, young man? I was telling them last night, I said, you know, a young guy comes to me and he goes, I want to get married. I always say the first thing I do is I slap him and make sure that they're awake. I want to get married. And I say, why? And they say, well, you know, man, she's just beautiful and I just want to be around her and I can talk to her and when I'm with her I feel so good. And he goes on and on and finally, I let him just run and then I go, let me see if I understand you. You want to marry this woman because she meets all your self-centered, selfish desires. Am I hearing you okay here? He goes, no, that's not what I mean. I said, that's exactly what you said. You said you want to marry her because she's beautiful. Okay, what happens when she's not beautiful anymore? Or someone comes around who's more beautiful. You want to marry her because you can talk. What happens when you can't talk? Or someone else comes around you can talk with a lot better. You see? None of those things are the basis for marriage. The basis for marriage is this. I have been sovereignly called by God to lay down my life for this woman, this daughter of His, and to serve her as Christ has loved the church and given His life up for her. Now, let's go to Ephesians 5. Verse 22, Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. In the Greek, that means wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. You go, well, I'll never. Yeah, I know you won't. That's why your marriage is pitiful. Okay, fine. I mean, it's your bed. You make it. You sleep in it. It's not going to affect me when I get in my car and drive home today. But we're not talking about wives subjecting themselves to their husbands today. We're talking about husbands, aren't we? All the wives say amen. Let's go to verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. He is the head of His wife. What does that mean? You have to look at two different models. One is a model from Rome and the other is the model from Jerusalem. Authority in Rome means iron teeth and steely, naily boots upon which you trample on everyone under you and use everyone under you for your own gain. But Jesus said that we are not like the Gentiles. We are not like Rome. What type of authority is a man supposed to have in his family? The same authority Jesus Christ has over the church. Can any of you stand up right now and point to one time when Jesus Christ has been cruel or self-centered regarding the church? Jesus Christ rules. And He does it for His own glory. But at the same time, everything towards us is benevolence and good. He does everything He does for our own good. When a man thinks, I'm head of the home, I need to come home, I need to sit down in my chair, read the newspaper, I've done my work for the day. He doesn't have a clue what headship means. Or when a man says, man, I just made this decision without talking to my wife. I don't have to talk to my wife. I'm head of the home. He doesn't have a clue what headship means. Let me give you an example. We're moving to Alabama. My family, all a heart cry. Everybody's moving to Alabama. How did I make that decision? I told my wife. I said, honey, I really feel like God is leading us to go to Alabama. Will you pray about it? She said, yeah. Now, if I'm in a situation with my wife and I ask her to pray about something and after a week or two, I say, well, what's your conclusion? If she agrees with me, great. We pray together a little bit more and then we'll probably do it. If she doesn't agree with me, it doesn't mean I'm not going to do it, but it doesn't mean a serious red flag has just gone up. Because there have been times when my wife has been right. So it's a red flag goes up. And what do I do? I put on the brakes and I pray some more until we come to agreement or, and if though, if the decision has to be made, there's no more stalling and there's still not agreement, it is my responsibility to assume the responsibility and make the decision. And if I am right and she is wrong, I am not to gloat over her. And if she is right and I am wrong, I am not to hear, I told you so, I told you so. She is to pity me because as the head of the home, I will come under greater condemnation. It will be me who will be called on the carpet on that day, not her. We've hardly ever made a decision. I can't even recall when we've made a decision when we both haven't been in agreement. But at the same time, I assume the responsibility of it. My children are my responsibility. My wife homeschools and although she's at home with them for eight hours while I'm gone working eight or ten hours, they are still my responsibility. Gentlemen, I have a really good plan for you. This has really worked well for me, but it will wear you out, but it helps you sleep. This is the plan. Go to work as early as possible. Work as hard and quickly as possible. Now some of you, no matter how early you go, you've got to get out at the same time. I understand that. As soon as you get home, here's the deal. Your wife has had your children all day. Okay? If she's a homeschooling mom, she's had the kids all day. When you hit the home at about 5 or 5.30, the kids are your responsibility until you bathe them and put them to bed. You say, well, what about 6 o'clock news? Tape it. But you won't have time to watch it because after you get the kids to bed, you're going to go right to sleep because you've got to get up in the morning. Take the kids. They're mine when I get home. They're mine until they go to bed. If you don't want them to be yours, why on earth did you have kids in the first place? Can I ask you that question? I mean, what were you thinking about? You should have got a hamster. Dads will look at me and go, what do you mean I'm supposed to come home from work and take my kids? Why do you have kids? I mean, have you ever thought about that? What about me? What about you? You just don't play into the thing. I'm sorry. But I will tell you this, if you come home and take those kids, you dedicate yourself to being the father and the husband you ought to be, there will be times when on Friday night your wife will look at you and say, husband, go hunt tomorrow. Go hunt all day. I've made you your favorite muffins and everything else. Go out and kill until your heart's content instead of fighting you because every time you get an open door, you want to run out and do your hobby. And she can't stand it any longer. Now, if your kids are at school, if your kids are at a school, let me ask you a question, Mom. What are you doing all day? Now, if you're a mom who goes out and works, I don't want to stand against that at all. I don't know your circumstance. But if you're a mom that goes out and works, let me ask both of you a question, man and woman, why are you doing that? Are you doing that because you really need to pay bills to put food on the table and have a safe home where the roof doesn't leak and to be able to have two cars that at least function? Is that why you're doing that? If that's why you're doing that, that's okay. But if mom and dad, if you're both going out and working and you have children, but you're going out because you want brand new SUVs and a house that has a super mortgage and you want to have all your toys and all your clothes and things like that, I'm telling you right now you're in sin. You're just in sin. You have sold your children for a bowl of wine. I'm not backing up. It's true. If you're both out there working, though, and you need to for a time in order to make ends meet and you're not living extravagantly, you're not buying new cars and going into debt on them, you're not buying a new home the size of the Houston Astrodome, you're just trying to live in a normal place and get by, you both have to work, I don't want to speak against that, but I will say this, both of you, when you get home, with your children, together, until you put your children to bed together. Because if not, you are not raising your children. You are not raising your children. Well, I just have quality time with my kids. No, you don't. And I'll prove it to you. A guy taught me this a while back and I praised God for him. He said, Paul, he was telling me as a young father, he said, Paul, the idea of quality time with your children is just a lie. And I said, what do you mean? He goes, it's the same way with the Lord. He goes, Paul, how many times do you have quiet times and Bible studies and prayer with the Lord? I mean, how many times a week? How many hours do you spend with the Lord? And I kind of gave him an estimate. And he goes, okay, in all that time you spend with Him, in every one of those moments, does He show up in a supernatural way and just kind of put you on the floor? I mean, you know His presence is there. He's speaking to you. And I go, no, that rarely happens. It does happen. So he's saying, Paul, in the multitude of all the time you spend with the Lord, because of all that multitude of time, out of that every once in a while comes this special moment, doesn't it? Yeah, he goes, it's the same way with your children. You don't have any special moments with your children unless you've spent a great quantity of time with your children. In that quantity of time with your children, quality time breaks forth. If you're both working, then when you get home, your primary responsibility is your children. Just look at this for a moment. Your child goes off to school in the morning. There's not been any moral lecture. There's not been any teaching from Scripture. It goes off to school. Okay, you have no idea what goes on in that school. I mean, even when I was a kid, I remember the first time this wicked nine-year-old boy started telling me, and I was like seven or something, started telling me about all the things that moms and dads did. I was terrified. I'll never forget. And that was 40 years ago. Your kid goes to school. You won't believe the things he's hearing. And that's in the third grade. So you drop them off eight hours. You haven't given them any instruction. You drop them off eight hours, nine hours, and then from there, maybe pick them up. Then they go to a friend's house. Then television. Off to sports. This, that. They go to bed. Kiss them goodnight. That's it. You're not raising children. Everyone else is raising your child. But you're not. And then you sit there and go, I can't understand why my child... You know, we just don't connect. We don't have anything. And he doesn't care about the Lord. And I just feel like the Lord's failed me because he raised up a child in the way that he should go. And when he's old, he'll not depart from... You haven't raised up your child in the way that he should go because you've taken him to school? Because you've taken him to Sunday school? And guess what? The old theologians did not see that as a promise. They saw it as a warning. Do you realize that? They did not interpret that verse as a promise that if you raise up your child in the way that he should go, when he's old, he'll not depart from it. They interpreted it this way in the Hebrew. Raise up a child in the way that he goes. What they mean. Let a child go his own way. And do not stop him. And do not teach him. And do not deter him from his own way. And when he's old, he will not depart from his own way. And he will go into destruction. Neglect a child, and when they're older, they'll not turn back. That was the warning. And so what I'm pleading with you about... I know it's a struggle. It's a struggle for all of us. But you've got to realize something. We are living a dream in America. And Christians are living a dream. I mean, church is basically on Sunday. It's boring. I mean, it's boring for me and I love God. What do you think about your kid? He goes to Sunday school. He paints pictures of Joseph's multicolored coat and shows it to you and then goes to church and is like this most of the time. That's instruction? And then he goes off to school and then he becomes a companion of fools. Why? Because the people who he's around all the time are little boys and little girls just like him whose mothers probably do not watch them as carefully as you watch yours. So they're filled with all kinds of things from television and everything from sex to pornography. And they come in and can't wait to tell your son. And yet there's nothing when they come home. You know, I have no time. Well, I'm taking them to soccer. I'm taking them to this. I'm taking them to that. They take them everywhere, but they don't be their parents. We wear ourselves to death. You see? It's as wise to be subject to your own husband. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church. He Himself being Savior of the body. Now, sir, you are not just the head of the home. You are supposed to be the Savior of your wife. But you never thought about that. It says that Christ is the Savior of the body. There is a sense in which you are to be your wife's Savior. Now, I don't mean as far as redemptively or as far as sin, but what I mean is this. You are to be actively pursuing the salvation of your wife. That your wife become the whole, beautiful, mature, virtuous woman in the Lord that God desires of her. Now, sir, that is not by you giving her lectures. That is not by you sitting her straight in Scripture. That is not by you giving her it is by you loving her. There is nothing more transforming than the love of Jesus Christ. There is nothing that will melt a heart quicker than the love of Jesus Christ. We are to love our wives. Now, I want us to look at something. Verse 25, husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. How did He show His love towards the church? He died for the church. How are we to show our love for our wives? We are to die for them. You know, I was down in Peru, and Peru is a Latin American country, and I love... I fit into Latin America probably more than just about anywhere on the face of the earth. Latin America is like being in a color television set. Gringos, people like us, we're like black and white boring television. They're like color! But Latins, man, they're lovers. And I was discipling all these guys, and I'll never forget this one fellow. He goes, Man, for my woman, you know, I'd run across the Andes Mountains through the snow in my underwear. I'd fight a thousand men at one time. I'd swim the deepest ocean, and I'd say, Yeah, but will you do the dishes? And he goes, No way, man. Men don't do the dishes, man. I am a macho man. I don't do dishes. Alright? You guys are the same way. Will you do the dishes? She doesn't pick up after your socks. She doesn't pick up your socks and your underwear. You should have been slapped by your mama a long time ago. Haven't you learned to pick up your own clothes? I mean, what's wrong with you? Love your wife means to lay down your life for her. Now, we don't have much more time. I just want to say this and then get in my car and get out of here. You are not like your wife. Hopefully. We don't have a clue, guys. Alright? For me, a great manifestation of love is for my wife to let me to go to Cabela's. Alright? What I'm trying to say is my wife has needs, real, biblical, valid needs that I don't have. And if I just look at that and go, Well, I don't need that. Why does she need that? I'm going to ruin my marriage. I do not need my wife to call me a couple times a day going, Honey, I love you. I just want you to know that I love you. Because if she does, I'm like covering this thing. I hope no one else is hearing this. I'm like, that's really nice. Thank you very much. Send her flowers. Lord, tell her to stop doing that. Guys are going to think I'm a sissy or something. I do not need to hear my wife say over and over, I love you. I don't need my wife to hold my hand in public. I don't need her to touch my face. I mean, I'm just not like that. I'm a man. I'd rather kill a hog with a spear or something. And that is why it says, Husbands, love your wives. And it never says, Wives, love your husbands. But it does say, Wives, respect your husbands. That doesn't mean I'm not to respect my wife and that she's not to love me. What it means is, as a woman, my wife needs more than anything else, love. Unconditional love. As a man, I need more than anything else, respect. And see, I have to just listen to the Word, listen to my wife, and realize, okay, she does want me to hold her hand. And I want to bless her. I do get a kick out of seeing the joy in her face. So I'm going to hold her hand. She does want me to touch her face. She does want me to just hold her. You see, there's all these things, and my brain doesn't really work that way. I really don't understand it. But that's what she desires, and that's what, as a man, called to lay down my life for this daughter of God, I am to give. And in giving, I find joy. At the same time, wife, your husband needs your respect. Well, I'll give it to him when he deserves it. Well, maybe he ought to just give you love when you deserve it. And you can live in hell until both of you die. If you're going to wait around until the other deserves it, I'm sorry, it's never going to work. Love has a tremendous way of winning the person over to the other side. Let me give you an example. Let's say that I come home one day, and I've just fought dragons all day. I've had a terrible time. Work's been horrible. Everything's just a burden. And I come in, and food's not done. The house is a mess. Kids are screaming. And I go, what are you doing all day? What's your problem? I'm out there working all day long, and what are you doing? I mean, you're just sitting here. What's going on? My wife turns around, hair like Medusa, looks at me and goes, well, you don't understand, you big head Neanderthal. You don't know what's going on. The battle is on. Somebody save the children. But if I come in acting like a jerk, and my wife turns around and looks at me and says, honey, I'm very, very sorry, and I'll try to get everything as soon as I can put in order, but Ian has been sick all day, and then a lady called, and she had terrible problems, and I had to counsel her, and I apologized, and I'll try to get everything going as soon as possible. When she does that, I go, just a moment. I walk outside, and in my woodshed, I have this piece of hickory. It's about three feet long, and it's just perfect to grab your hand around it. I go out in the woods, and I beat myself in the head several times with that pole, and then I walk back in, and I beg her forgiveness. She has just killed me with her love. She has heaped hot coals upon my head with her love. See, unconditional love defeats evil every time. You just can't stand it. You almost want them to argue back so you'll be justified for being a jerk. The fact of the matter is, I got to that part and ran a rabbit because I'm trying to teach about seven lectures here at one time, but gentlemen, you will find your greatest joy, your greatest joy if you are truly converted in getting up in the morning and being faithful before the Lord to read His Word, to pray to Him. If you have to go to work before everyone else arises, then go to work. If not, you will find great joy in helping your children out of bed, getting them ready for school, praying with them. Then go off to work and work hard and find joy no matter what God's given you to do, whether it's to be a brain surgeon or just screw tops on a bottle. Do it unto the Lord as a calling. And then rush home. Pray while you're in the car, Lord, strengthen me. Fill me with grace. Come home. Take those kids. Love them. Teach them. Play with them. Teach them. Teach them. What have you taught your children? You know, most dads never talk to their children about morality or ethics except when the child has done something wrong. And so it's always in a negative connotation. What is wrong with you? Why did you do that? Teach your children. Train your children. Teach your boys. Train your boys. Teach them to be men. Work. And then when you put them to bed, you say, oh, now finally I get to go to bed. No, you don't. Now that you've put them to bed, go to your wife and listen. She wants to talk. Listen. Pray for her. Hold her. Set up a thing to take her out on a date once every few weeks. And then collapse in your bed. And then wake up the next morning. Do it all over again. Woman, if you have a husband doing that, realize how tired he can be. Have that house in order. Work with your children. Honor the man. And try to set up times where he can go out and just do what men like to do. Even if it's put on a Batman suit and sit in a tree for a while. Let me just let him do it because he needs to. Alright, God bless you. Let's pray. Father, please use these words. Please help us. Help me, Lord, because this truth I've preached is higher than me. And it is always rebuking me. Help me to be the husband, the father that I ought to be. In Jesus' name, amen.