Mike Bickle emphasizes the incredible worth of women, particularly mothers, in his Mother's Day sermon. He highlights that honoring women is foundational to the church's glory and the effectiveness of prayer, as dishonoring women can hinder one's relationship with God. Bickle encourages men to see and affirm the virtues in women, treating them with purity and respect, and to understand that their role is to uplift and cherish their wives. He connects this honor to the broader context of the church's mission and the end-time revival, asserting that the acknowledgment of women's worth is crucial for spiritual growth and community health.

You can turn in your Bibles if you want to Ephesians 5 we're not going to get there for a few minutes But you can have it ready We have it on the notes as well Father we come to you in the name of Jesus, and we thank you For the mothers that are here with us today and Lord. I ask that you would touch them I ask you for the spirit of grace. I ask you for healing. I ask you for encouragement strengthening All kinds of things that you would do in their heart Lord We ask we ask that you would bless the speaking of your word in Jesus name Amen Well today's Mother's Day, and I want to talk on a subject. I'm calling it the incredible worth of a woman And the reason I'm using that phrase is because that's a phrase the Lord spoke to me Some years ago in 1995 paragraph B. I have it written here It was three o'clock in the morning And I was suddenly awoken from a sound sleep It was like the arrow of the Lord struck me and I Was sound sleep, but I woke up and I prophesied and I said the incredible worth of a woman Who can fully understand it and I was startled I go like who are you talking to Mike? I mean, I I'd never thought such a thought It's the first time and it's the only time that I ever prophesied to myself I was the only one there to hear the prophecy and the Spirit of the Lord was resting on me I mean from a dead sleep the incredible worth of a woman who can fully Understand and the Lord was saying in essence Mike. I'm talking to you. I want you to understand this I Want you to address this because the answer is only God can fully understand it But if we ask him he will unpack the implications and the application of what this means to him I Have good news The Holy Spirit is going to answer this question on a global level. It is actually foundational to the end-time revival I'll connect that with other verses at another time, but the Lord is going to establish The full honor that he intends for women Before he returns and it is connected to the church in Ephesians 5 being full of glory when the Lord returns So the Holy Spirit's gonna answer this So it's a subject that's bigger than Mother's Day, and I'm gonna apply it to mothers, but not only to mothers It's a subject that all of us Need to be aware of committed to and equipped in young or old male female single married now it's interesting or Significant it's a better word That honoring women is connected to the anointing on the prayer movement That's in 1st Peter 3 verse 7. We'll get there in a few moments but the scripture says That if a man doesn't honor his wife his prayers will be hindered there will be a resistance In his life in prayer and connecting with God if he doesn't honor his wife Now if the resistance and the hindrance to prayer is Related to dishonoring his wife then the opposite is true as well That if he honors her because he's agreeing with the Spirit's heart, that's the point his prayers will be more effective Now I can't think of anything more important to a prayer ministry than this reality that God connects the anointing of prayer in the end time harvest and the glory of the end time church to Honoring women he puts the those together because that's how important it is to the Spirit now and I look over church history I see women as the largest Most diligent and most effective workforce in the kingdom throughout 2,000 years of church history Now the history books do not highlight that because they're all written by men That's really true most of them are written by men, but I believe if all the facts were before us There is no question the most effective Diligent and even largest workforce in the kingdom of God for 2,000 years of church history is women I believe mothers are the most successful in making disciples Now the Great Commission is to make disciples I Believe that mothers have done that more successfully than any other group that could be defined in the body of Christ You know the little disciples are three then they're five they're ten then they're twenty, but they're making disciples. I've heard of mothers Say in our 13 years of IHOP you know I'm Well, I joined IHOP full-time staff. I was single then I got married. I have children So I'm not really involved in IHOP. I said I'm not in the ministry right now. I said completely wrong You are fully in the ministry, and you're fully involved with IHOP Because making disciples is the commission of every single ministry There's nothing more important than making disciples, and you're doing it in the most focused concentrated quality way Yes You are fully a part of the vision and the ministry that God's called us to Just like you were when you were single, but the application of it's different, but the value of it is not less still in the ministry well Satan is opposing this Grand global plan that's on God's heart to establish the full honor towards women that God the Father Intends, I mean this is in the Father's heart. He is above all things. He's the Father He's not just a Glorious being at the core of his being he is a father with his children and he wants His daughters honored in his family now back in Genesis 3 When Adam and Eve fell into sin and God pronounced over Satan That through a woman would come the Messiah that would destroy Satan in essence Genesis 3 15 I Believe that it was then that Satan determined a very strategic focus plan to destroy and oppress women He has told lies about women ever since for 6,000 years since the Garden of Eden Now it's interesting that it's not only men that believe the lies, but women believe the lies and Even godly women believe lies about women Satan wants to minimize the value and effectiveness of womanhood and motherhood He wants to more than minimize that he wants to completely negate it wherever he can Some of the examples of how he's attacked and sought to destroy women is to Change the or to establish the image of women as sex objects, and he's been Successful in doing that throughout history in the hearts of many or to cause women to be seen as a free workforce Have the women do the work or he has promoted false stereotypes about women That they're inferior intellectually to men Emotionally or spiritually and again, there's women that buy into those lies and those stereotypes But the Holy Spirit says no No, this is not okay. He has a plan To fully establish honor for women that's in the father's heart Because the father is contending for the honor of his ladies in his family and Again, it's connected and it's foundational to the end-time church That's full of glory and the harvest of all nations and the prayer movement is linked to honoring women in the homes by the men You know the guy he can go to the prayer meeting and be the the fiery Intercessor and then not honor his wife at home, and I want to assure you he will be Resisted by God and he will have a dull spirit. I mean he may preach his prayers eloquently He may put more energy into him, but they won't be more powerful He may say well, I just feel like you know, there's a resistance in the name of Jesus. I bind it I have good news for you. You can't buy in Jesus in the name of Jesus The Lord says I want you to honor that woman in your home. I'm watching it matters to me Well part of establishing the honor of women Number one is to treat them with all purity says in first Timothy 5 verse 2 Paul said I want you to treat women with all purity and that's something that we're committed to in this spiritual family We don't want jokes in you windows that Promote the stereotypes that are wrong. We don't want sexual innuendos We don't want quote innocent touching that isn't innocent it has an element of of sensuality and seduction in it by men We don't want that We want an atmosphere where women are treated in all a ll all purity in this house another element of honoring women and seeing the incredible worth of women is That we celebrate The full function of women to the degree that God anoints them that there's no position of leadership that is Held back from them as the Spirit anoints them They had can function in any way that the Spirit bears witness to them And there's many other elements to the honor, but I just wanted to declare it Paragraph C Now there's a virtuous woman That is being raised up in the earth called the body of Christ. It's made up of male and female. It's the bride of Christ Now we see her brokenness We're often critical of her. She's stumbling, but I want to have I want to emphasize the Lord understands her incredible worth to him and Though it's important to address the failures and deficiencies in the church we must do it with honor and tenderness and humility as we address the great gaps and failures in the church Now the way that Jesus Talks to his church the way he sees his church It's the model of how we're to relate to one another not just men to women but men to men women to women all Relationships are based on this model, and that's what we're going to develop for a few moments here Because in order to honor women or in the bigger sense just have honor and relationships in the body of Christ it begins with seeing people Like the Lord sees them it begins with seeing them like he sees them honor isn't just something that's verbal Honor is established with seeing differently. We're going to talk about that in a few moments Proverbs 31 verse 10 that night in November 95 that I Mentioned a few moments ago when I woke up and prophesied about the incredible worth of a woman the Lord highlighted this passage Proverbs 31 verse 10 He highlighted it, but he put a different angle on it The question is this Who can find a virtuous wife? That's the question For her worth is far above rubies And what the Holy Spirit he asked me a different question It's not who can find a virtuous woman. That's still a a great statement But here was the question who can find the virtue that is in his wife Not just to find a virtuous wife, but to actually see the virtue that's in her heart that isn't obvious to the natural eye That's what the Lord was challenging me with Because the Lord the way he views the body of Christ is the way he views his people That's synonymous, but it's the way he wants us to view one another which means it's the way That a man views his own wife. It is modeled after the way that Jesus views his wife What do I mean by that? Because we can easily miss the budding virtues That are in the heart of a woman or any believer Without the help of the Holy Spirit to see it the way that the Lord relates to his wife the Bride of Christ the church He sees the budding virtues in our spirit our character that are not fully formed They're not fully manifest. They're not obvious to others But he sees the cry of our spirit to be dedicated to him long before the dedication is fully walked out. I Victory doesn't begin in your life when you have a full transformation of an area of weakness Victory begins in your life when you set your heart to obey in that area long before you ever get the breakthrough Now the breakthrough brings the victory to fullness but the victory begins The victory begins with the setting of the heart the intention of our heart those budding virtues Let's look at 1st Samuel 16 verse 7 the Lord does not see as man sees The Lord doesn't look at people in the way that people look at people He has a whole different Perspective a whole different paradigm of looking at people When we look at somebody We look at their outward appearance and that means more than just if they're tall dark and handsome It means more than that their outward appearance means their achievements their failures their positive achievements their performance We look at what they do and we don't see who they are at the heart level We don't see what they're committed to at the heart level before God God says that I don't Evaluate look at people like you do I go deeper. I See the intentions of their heart. I see what the hearts committed to and that's where I begin in measuring my people long before Their actions are manifest. I See what they're reaching for what they're crying out to be Paul says the same thing 2nd Corinthians 5 verse 16 he says from now on We regard no one according to the flesh He said from now on we regard no one according to the flesh What he means by that? He says that now that we're born again We don't measure or evaluate people only by who they are outwardly Because before We began to before we had the Holy Spirit and cared what the Spirit thought about people when we were unsaved We would regard or measure or evaluate a person by who they were in their outward Actions we would look at their weaknesses their limitations. We would look at their failures We would look at their accomplishments, but here's what Paul's saying When we became born again, we change the way we evaluate people We look at who they are in the spirit meaning who they are in God's eyes And we begin to see them in the way God sees them and God always looks at the cry of the heart first That's not all that God looks at but that's where he begins What are the intentions the commitments of the heart now when we regard someone according to the flesh? We highlight their failures, but I have good news for you Your failures are not the whole truth about you Our failures are part of the truth of our story, but our failures are not the whole story the things that we've determined in our heart to be The reach in our spirit to love him and be dedicated That is as much the truth about us as our failure to walk that out talking to sincere believers 1st Corinthians chapter 4 verse 5 Was a verse that Revolutionized my view of people some years ago Because when we understand how the Lord views people Then we view people differently when we see how differently he views them, but the good news as well. We see ourselves differently When we see how the Lord looks at people 1st Corinthians chapter 4 verse 5 Says this Judge nothing It's talking about the motives of the heart judge nothing until the second coming till the Lord comes and when the Lord comes He will bring to light the hidden things But look at this verse this phrase he will reveal the intentions or the counsels of the heart the counsels of the heart meaning the commitments of the heart the Intentions the thing you're reaching for in your heart. He will reveal those things and Then each one's praise will come from God now when I first Discovered the truth in this verse in a deep in a personal way. I Would have read this verse differently, here's how I would have read it Don't judge a person's motives until the second coming When God reveals the counsels or the intention of the heart Then I would have thought oh no, I Mean if God reveals the deep intentions of our heart, that's trouble Paul says no no No, because you're not understanding When God reveals the intentions of your heart then God will praise or God will affirm you at the second coming I wrote I looked at this and I said he will praise us you mean he will rebuke us He will forgive us Maybe that's what you meant Paul no no Because the motives of your heart aren't only the bad ones The motives of your heart the intentions of your heart is when you rise up, and you say I don't want to yield to lust I don't want to yield to bitterness. I don't want to yield to envy. I don't want to yield to these things No, Lord help me. I don't have the breakthrough, but I'm not content with where I'm at I want freedom the Lord says I see that that is the truth about who you are and on that day at The time of the second coming I will praise you or use the word I will affirm that now the good news is this The Lord sees it and affirms it now in his leadership over our life He doesn't only affirm it on that day. It's just on that day Do we fully see the fullness of how he feels about it, but he affirms it now So as I looked at this I began to say if The Lord is moved By this setting of our heart to obey him Now I want to be moved by it I want to affirm people not just in the resurrection when the Lord says you see your wife you see your friend I Was moved by the things they set their heart to way back then, but you didn't have any insight about it So you were critical of them because you couldn't see it But it was true all along. I go Lord. I don't want to wait till then to get it I Want to get it now I? Want to relate to people now? Based on some insight into how God sees them now Now the enemy tells us he accuses us He says you're just a hopeless hypocrite. I mean we're crying out We want to walk in greater prayer greater humility greater purity greater freedom We're reaching for it. We come up short and the devil says you're just a hopeless hypocrite Just give up and give in You're never gonna break through anyway the Lord has a very different view he goes I see and affirm the counsels of your heart. I see what you're reaching for stay with it. It moves me it pleases me Now the Lord doesn't only Begin to enjoy us after we get the breakthrough he enjoys The relationship with us when we set our heart to obey him and again the breakthrough takes time Some issues come quicker than other issues, but he enjoys the relationship When we set our heart, and he affirms that again at the second coming when we are face-to-face with him He will say it publicly But he feels that way about us even now beloved. This is a dynamic shift and change The way we evaluate people Now the reason I'm stressing this and I'll just take another moment or two on it because honor is based on this perspective of evaluating people if we don't see this Then our honor doesn't have a foundation We're trying to be positive But we end up making up stuff and it ends up flattery because we don't really see that virtue in them even in its budding form He didn't say just flatter people But he said encourage them speak the truth about them now the challenge is this That often we have the least Spiritual insight into those we are most familiar with We have the least spiritual insight To those were most familiar with meaning our spouse or children we see their failures We see that things they stumble at we can grow so familiar that we don't see the whole truth We only see part of the truth the negative side The Lord says I want you Husbands were mothers day so I'm addressed us a little bit to husbands, but it's bigger than husbands I Want you to have the most insight spiritually about the one you're most familiar with instead of being opposite Let's look at Page 2 top of page 2 this amazing in time prophecy in Ephesians 5 this amazing in time prophecy Paul talks about the time where Jesus will present the church to himself full of glory Now beloved this is going to happen this is not just the church in the resurrection Everyone's full of glory in the resurrection He's talking about At the time of the rapture when he comes back and and the trumpet is blasted the Lord returns the church Worldwide will be spotless and full of glory Thank Wow That's gonna be a big gap to feel between now and then Now there's a multifaceted plan to bring the church from compromise to fill the church with glory There's several aspects one it's going to be a great outpouring of the Holy Spirit beyond any time in history Number two there's going to be great pressures Beyond any time of history, but an outpouring of the Spirit and pressure is not enough to have transformation You would think if the spirits poured out people will all be transformed. No, that's not true. There's another element People have to interact at the heart level with truth about God They have to understand God's heart and receive it and interact with God according to the truth of who he is then Transformation takes place so I'm going to add those three points together. There's an outpouring of the Spirit. We're all believing for that There's great pressures. Oh that makes us nervous But there's a deep interaction with the truth about God at an unprecedented level that's coming Now that's what Paul's addressing here in Ephesians 5 He said the church is going to be full of glory power purity wisdom He goes it's not gonna have spot or wrinkles the compromises will be gone Now you know what it takes to move a Spot or a wrinkle from a garment Takes pressure you got a wrinkle you get out the iron you turn it up real hot and Pressure and heat whoo the wrinkles gone wrinkles. Don't just go away pressure and heat Ouch Spots don't go away rubbing and scrubbing Ouch again But that's not the whole story just the story of pressure Look what it says in verse 29. The Lord is going to cherish the church. He's gonna manifest Who he is is the God who cherishes his people? There's gonna be an unprecedented Revelation of Jesus as the one who cherishes his people now to cherish some Translations they put just Lord he cares. It's stronger than cares The idea is that he will care with great affection and he will Treat his people as a prized possession as a treasure This is not the sterile caring of a maid coming to care for the house This is a deeply engaged affectionate caring of a prized possession Now it's interesting that when Paul talks about the church coming to glory and that unique time frame Just before the Lord's return he highlights He only highlights this Premier characteristic of Jesus now this isn't the whole story, but this is what he highlights He's gonna highlight Jesus as the God who cherishes his people that will be understood in that day beyond any time in history Here's my point One of the primary modes in which Jesus changes us is by revealing how dear we are to him and By revealing to us the great worth we have in his eyes and When we feel cherished we respond very differently Now if that's how Jesus changes his people and that's not the only thing he uses But if he the great leader Changes people that way how are we to change people and there are negative components to change? Seeing change in people's lives, but the primary component is the issue of cherishing Well, we cherish to the measure that we can see clearly these budding virtues in their spirit Now there's many examples of this in The Bible that God relates to us in this way Again, the whole truth about you isn't what you do outwardly and externally the whole truth about you is who you are Internally as well inwardly and that's not only true of you That's true of the people you're close to that might be annoying you and wearing you out We need to see them beyond just who they are in the flesh we need to ask the Holy Spirit for insight and particularly The husband does this for his wife and the home Lord show me who she is Let's look at paragraph 1 just a quick example Gideon The Midianite armies were invading Israel they were right next door They were attacking Israel Gideon went and hid himself trembling in fear I Don't want to be on the front lines. I don't want to confront the issue. I'm gonna hide. I'm gonna retreat and hide fair enough The angel of the Lord appears to him Gideon you mighty man of Valor Man of Valor a soldier a warrior mighty warrior courageous leadership skills leadership courage warrior Get in looks right looks left goes who me because no no you got the wrong guy I'm the least I'm the lowest Ranking one in my family. No, I'm hiding. I don't like battles I'm not your guy What was happening is that God saw something in Gideon that Gideon couldn't see about his own heart He was getting I know who you are your problem is you don't know who you are Well the same thing happened with Peter the Lord calls him He Renames him Simon is his given name and the Lord calls him Peter. That's that's a new name Peter means the rock and the idea is Simon you are the rock you're the stable leader You're a stable leader, that's who you are you're the rock Okay, sounds good. I like it Well some time passes Peter shakes in fear denies the Lord even before a little servant girl Didn't look like a stable leader a Little bit more time passes you can read the story in Galatians 2 at a critical time in church history in the first century at a very critical time Peter went to Antioch and he Stumbled in hypocrisy because of the fear of man He fell into and yielded to a man-pleasing spirit and caused tremendous confusion in the church Paul rebuked him publicly He said how dare you? Create the confusion because he came under the fear of man, and he wouldn't stand up for the truth That's the same thing he did with that little servant girl. Just a different application Somebody might say Jesus Are you sure you named him right? Stable leader How about sincere leader? No, he's the rock I Knew he would stumble and fail, but I see what's in him. I See the cry of his heart to be that and that's his name. That's how I will relate to him. I mean beloved This is glorious Let's look at paragraph M It says encourage one another daily Hebrews 3 13 now to encourage means to put courage in their heart Now I'm gonna apply this to the home. I'm gonna apply this to the marriage, but it's certainly not limited to that now notice We're to put courage in the hearts of people Daily, why do we do it daily? Because the devil is accusing us day and night before God the devil's Work is to accuse us the devil wants a culture of accusation in the marriage in the home And that's the most common culture in most homes a culture of accusation fault finding sarcasm criticism Bitterness talking behind each other's back talking face-to-face with anger Belittling each other that happens in marriage all the time even in the kingdom Happens between husband and wife parents and children children and parents siblings with one another there's a culture of accusation in most homes in the earth the devil's winning because that's his work to accuse night and day and his goal is to get Humans to agree with the accusations and to verbalize them God says well, I'm doing something different my kingdom has a culture of honor and my people When they feel the urge to accuse because of our own natural fallenness They're gonna repent of it, and they're going to courage. They're gonna put courage in the heart Instead of take courage out of the heart Because accusation takes courage away from people many women Well men as well young and old The devil has accused them so continually way does everybody and in this accusation what he does he exaggerates the negative and He hides or obscures the positive about that lady And he does it day and night so the woman she loves Jesus But the exaggeration of her failures and her negativity of the negative traits in her is so big to her She can't see the positive the budding virtues don't make sense to her. She feels like a hypocrite Instead of someone the Lord is affirming the devil's winning Then her husband comes along and the Lord says here's my assignment to you you would encourage her day and night You are to put courage in her you are to break her own agreement with accusation beloved Talking to the men that are married God put you next to that woman as part as God's answer to put courage in her heart well the problem Many men they're promoting the accusations of darkness They're not only taking the Negativity they are Enforcing it day by day godly men. I mean men who love Jesus top of page three Let's go down to paragraph C Now God wants our homes to be strongholds of honor in the culture. I'm talking about in the overall society As I'm raising up men that see the incredible worth of women because they have a new paradigm of Seeing the budding virtues and they agree with my heart and night and day they put courage into the women They don't take courage out of the women. They break the power of accusation That's what a man of God does in the kingdom and he doesn't only do it in the home. He starts in the home He does it wherever he goes women in the workplace women in the church wherever He's a vessel that sees what God sees a little bit We don't see all the God sees and we speak words of courage and virtue That is real not flattery But the beginning of the virtue and we need insight to do it. So we ask the Lord. Let me see what you see Then let me say what you say about this woman I live with or this person I work with whatever Now we have a wedding and I hop almost every week Literally almost every weekend, you know through the summer months Some of these young guys. I like I love to celebrate with them Now talk to them They're excited. You know, some of these young guys their view is I understand this I had this view, too They think that girl is so cute. I'll work through any problem. I go. You know what? I like it that you like that but her cuteness won't hold up and Keep you in a culture of honor well for a while, but it won't long-term and Do you know that when you're vowing and covenanting to marry this woman? Not only is it a covenant lifelong But you're also committing to take the stewardship to partner with Jesus To call that woman forth. It's a long-term commitment all the days of your life for decades You are committing to a stewardship To call forth her virtue and her honor It's Jesus's ministry to his bride But he's entrusting it in partnership with you Guy goes. Oh, that's fantastic Beloved talking to the man God wants you to be the spokesman He wants your words To communicate to her what he feels about her and how he sees her I'm not talking about prophesying to her and having new information. I'm talking about calling out her dedication Calling out her humility her humility isn't fully formed her dedication is not mature, but it's present Her desire to do well Though she stumbles just like you do but you're calling forth that desire God says I want to hear in Your mouth the words that I would say to her if I was standing before her and I want her to hear them from you Coming from me and you don't have to say thus says the Lord. I'm just talking about just throughout the course of the relationship Speaking courage about who she is and the virtues that's in her heart beloved. This is foundational to being a husband It's not just about she's cute. We're gonna have fun and really enjoy life. No, it's bigger than that You are taking on a lifelong commitment to join the stewardship to partner with Jesus Now I've heard over the years the guy goes Well, you know, it's year 10 year 20, whatever I Don't like her anymore. The affections are gone It's it's not happening anymore That happens all the time in the kingdom of God all the time and I tell them tenderly but straightforward I go that's not relevant to what I'm saying right now You took on a stewardship and made a covenant that's not related to having warm feelings. It's a stewardship You will have to all the days of your life. You must be faithful to that stewardship. I Know but I just don't have that loving feeling anymore. That's I wish you did but it this commitment the stewardship is not based on that Your covenant to be loyal to her is not based on feelings for her right now Now I certainly honor feelings in marriage, but lots of marriages. They don't have them I've talked about Kingdom ones, but that doesn't change the stewardship Young men need to know what they're committing to The guy says I've heard this many times. Oh Man, you don't know that woman She has such a bad spirit. I mean she's bitter She accuses She complains. I mean there's poison in her for that many times That's okay That's fair But consider this she's been under your leadership for 10 years and that's what she's like For real I go she's still responsible, but you must know you are too If that's the way she talks and she's been under your leadership for 10 years You and the Lord need to have a serious conversation and make some real changes Because whatever spirit she has though, she's responsible for it. So are you she is a mirror? expressing the way you've led Guy goes getting hurt it many times. I haven't done nothing. I go. That's the point Cuz what you mean I go you go plant good seed in a in a field and do nothing Come back 10 years later. You're not gonna have fruit You're gonna have weeds and thorns and thistles just do nothing and you'll destroy her heart guy goes Well, I go no. No, this is not Mike being tough on guys day. This is reality a Woman with a vibrant spirit It's not I mean, it's her and God in her own choices, but her husband Nurturing that relationship. I don't mean every few months throwing in a positive word I'm talking about daily speaking courage and talking of her virtue that isn't even fully formed calling it forth Calling it forth. I don't mean saying you ought to be more dedicated. That's not what I mean by calling it forth Calling it forth means I see your dedication your dedication now it moves his heart. He sees it and She says I want to be more dedicated say he even sees that and so do I and I appreciate that in you now Go down to Roman numeral three. We're gonna look at just this key verse. I want to say this Before we get there We're going to first Peter 3 verse 7, that's the great verse about Connecting the in the prayer movement and the grace of prayer to the way we honor our wife in secret in our home Not just the boy. We publicly honor her. It's the way we treat and talk to her when no one's around our prayer Grace and prayer is connected to this. I can't think of another verse more Important for the end-time prayer movement than this issue I mean Jesus linked prayer and grace for prayer with the way we treat women Now it's really appropriate in the hour when the prayer movements exploding worldwide We need to teach the man all over Asia All over Latin America all over Europe all over Africa all over North America that if you're gonna do the prayer movement You must honor women in the way God does this Macho paradigm rooted in darkness. It's not biblical and it won't Impress the Holy Spirit. You can pray more eloquently. You can pray louder. You can shout jump higher, but it won't move God Talk to different men in our culture and in other cultures. They don't like this But it's how the father feels about the daughters and it's how Jesus feels about his bride which is men and women as well Well, we I've had guys tell me You know, I tell my wife Ephesians 5 the verse we looked at we didn't point out this point, but verse 22 wife submit It's verse 22. That's what it says Verse 25 says men love your wives as Jesus loves the church a guy comes to me and says I tell you know, I Pointed out to her. She's supposed to submit she doesn't and I've said this and it's shocked a few guys and it needs to I go Anytime you use the word submit that verse 22 instead of verse 25 husbands Love your wife if you go to verse 22 If you call your wife to submit to you, you are already operating in a wrong spirit I Go when you go to your wife and she's not cooperating with you go to verse 25 Tell me how I'm not loving you the way Jesus loves the church. That's the first you use when she's not submitting to you I've been married 35 years. I Have never once nor would I dare use The word submit to my wife and put look at verse 22 say the Bible says I would go to my wife as a verse 25 what am I not doing? Where's the blind spots that makes you not respond to my leadership? That's the only valid question if she's not submitting Now if the Lord talks to her about submitting that's written God in her business, but you never never use that word to your wife ever Guys, tell me that they go. Oh, I guess I hit a live one here. I go. That's that's the worst words You could tell me Young man of God go back home and ask her where the blind spots are and the way that you're loving her I Guarantee she'll have a quick list Well, look at what it says in second first Peter 3 Says dwell with your wife two ways highlight these two with Understanding and giving honor or your prayers will be hindered Two things I challenge men I've made it a part of my life goal I go in your spiritual life goal. You want to grow in prayer? You want to grow in the word you want to grow in humility make sure that on the list of your life goals you want to Understand your wife put that and number two make it shirts in that top five or six or seven You want to honor her two different things that overlap to understand her and honor her. That's our mandate Now to understand our wife we asked the Lord Give me insight. How do you see her? Talk? Talk to me about her destiny. Talk to me about her makeup Talk to me about how she processes life. We're all unique in the way we understand and process information about life Holy Spirit, let me see what you see Many men never ask that question that to me is Unthinkable that a man would not focus on that question in his walk with God I've asked the Lord that question many times about my wife. Tell me what you see about her I have to see what you see. I want my prayers anointed. I'm a like her too, but I want my prayers anointed I mean, I can't imagine being stuck at IHOP for decades with God hindering me Because I never got around to this like no way I'm gonna do the work of IHOP. I'm gonna do this thing, right? It's too hard Plus I like her ask God number two ask her Help me understand you don't ask her once ask her just repeat just over the years number three observe Study her watch her dial down lock in pay attention Observe her and you'll understand her passions Her triggers That trigger negative emotion her weaknesses her failures her strengths study her Ask God ask her study her you'll get understanding beloved. It's Essential that you do this next Honor her Honor her Now Wait, I'm just gonna mention one thing I'm gonna just talk very brief on honor and we'll end in prayer, but I want to talk about this issue of weaker vessels women It's not exactly right wives Are the weaker vessel now the commentators all debate what this means? One guy says well, they're weaker intellectually a lot of guys write that I Know a lot of smart guys, but I know a whole lot of smart girls, too I know a lot of girls that are smarter than guys that doesn't sound that I don't think that's the one ah They're weaker emotionally, that's it not either smartest guys are but it's those emotions I Know a lot of really over sensitive girls, but I know a whole lot of over sensitive boys I've been in ministry 35 years. I've had much more trouble from over sensitive boys than over sensitive girls They wear me out the boys do I Mean sometimes they got 70 year old bodies. The boys are as big of a mess as the girls. I don't buy it's emotional I've been doing the ministry too long. I go not in my history Here's where I think the women the wives I mean you have to say wives are weaker vessels positionally Meaning in the authority structure of the home now, I'm not saying this is a joke But every woman is under an imperfect male leader, that's married in 50 years he's gonna make many wrong decisions I don't care how wise you are every one of us are gonna make a bunch of wrong decisions And she is vulnerable to the consequences Just like the husband and wife will make decisions the children are Vulnerable to the consequences of those decisions and they really do hurt the wife when the husband makes wrong ones and the wife and the husband together do hurt the children sometimes and What the Lord's saying she's in a weaker position here. I want to make up for it. You give her double honor You go overboard in understanding her because she is Subject to what you're saying and doing in a way that's more than you are subject to her Now God didn't call men to be the heads of their fat their families I mean they are because they're better leaders many times. The woman's actually better leader Many times the man is it's one here one there He did it because he puts leadership so the family has one direction. He does it so the family can be unified Not because one smart he didn't say, okay, I'll pick the smartest one of the best leader just so happens It's always the male six thousand years later. There's never been an example. That's different. No, that's not what he's doing He's saying I'm giving leadership. So there's direction and unity in the family direction Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Okay page four I'm gonna do these real fast. Just hit a few of these. I'm gonna have you respond to them in 1977 I got married These were I went to a married seminar beforehand and knew a married I Highly encouraged pre marriage plans. I mean programs highly Encourage it so you can learn to communicate in ways. You're not guessing cuteness is not going to carry you through the pressures Well, I went to one because I was a 20 year old pastor of a church I Didn't know anything about marriage. So, you know, I better go to a program here and figure out some stuff. So these guys Taught and I took these principles from from them They worked nice 35 years later. I'm staying with them. Now. I only have seven and There's more I like the number seven It's not comprehensive, but I made these seven commitments to my wife Diane 35 years ago and I've upheld them in this regard in this regard The reason they're real because when I come up short, I do come up short. I fail in these commitments but when I come up short, I acknowledge that I failed to her and I believe that we're not hypocrites if we come up short if we're reaching to obey and we acknowledge our failure So as far as I know and I've asked her a number of times That each time that I've not followed through I have looked at her in the eye and said I've come up short I apologize. I committed to this to you. I want to give these commitments to you Maybe you've been married 40 years. You can start them now Maybe you're gonna be married one day. That's not a prophecy The guy goes, yeah, I just wanted to confirm there it is But whether single married old or young you're going to be talking into marriages Even if it's not your own as a member of the body of Christ, we all need to know these Number one commitment to honor her verbally. I mean, I don't know if I do it daily, but I do real real regular I this is something's important part of my stewardship to honor her Bible says honor her I'm I recommend a 10 to 1 ratio of saying positives to negatives That's not an exact number. It's not like I got something negative is saying I've only got nine I got one more positive sweetheart. You're really nice now. I can get down to business. You know, it's not one of those But I want to encourage you this I must say this if you have a 1 to 1 ratio You will break her spirit in the relationship meaning she will despise the relationship if it's a 1 to 1 ratio You give her one affirmation with one change criticism adjustment. It won't work. If you do that to your children, you'll break their spirit It really needs to be a 10 to 1 or something like that Commitment number two Again, I heard a guy tell me this and I just said I'll do it These were not my ideas, but I believe them. I'm just I've taught this for years Honor her with action. I'll just give you one example. I told her this Day one. I said from now on the rest of our life together on any domestic issues You want it the answer is yes from now on till we meet the Lord I Go you want me to do a task? Yes You want me to run an errand? Yes You're gonna say how we spend our family time. We have time that we've committed together Anyway, you want you want to go you want to come with this group with that group? Yes You want to go out eat this place or that place or go here a vacation there? Yes I said I'll give you yes a permanent. Yes till we meet the Lord. She goes that works. I Want to honor her I said every time I mean it number three I Value her ministry now. What do I mean by that? The stereotype is a woman should support her husband's ministry and there's truth to that for sure But not every season of her life is her assignment exactly your assignment in our 35 years There's been times. She's been really focused 100% in supporting what I'm doing the next season She is focused on her assignment and only overlapping what I'm doing a little bit the next year Season it changes. I said I am committed to Helping you in your assignment in the home or out in the workplace Whatever outside the home. I am NOT demanding that your assignment is always and only my assignment number four I Heard the guy say this I was really excited about this one. It seems so awesome. I had never done it But I heard it so I committed to her I said here's what the guy said in conflict Well, let's call it intense fellowship anybody know what intense fellowship is it is always the Responsibility of the leader of the home to take the initiative to humble himself first always every time That's the biblical model of problem-solving conflict-solving The the one with the highest leadership Whether it's in the workplace Wherever wherever said but particularly in the home they take the lead in humility and humbling themselves Now Jesus is the role model How did he? establish or Bring us into reconciliation with himself. Here's how it did the innocent one Jesus became guilty So that the guilty one you and me could become innocent. That's how we get reconciled there's no other way to reconcile than the innocent one taking the role of the guilty and Then the guilty ones are brought into reconciliation with them. That's the model Now if that's true that he's innocent and took the role of the guilty How much more true is that a husband who's part guilty to to take the role? Initiation and guilt and in the trouble I'm talking about so I'll go to her now sometimes The the conflict is 50-50 sometimes it's 80-20. I'm more the trouble another time She's more the trouble, but here's what I told her. I heard the seminar I Said every time no matter if it's 80-20. You're the most responsible. I will Initiate the humility the human humbling. I will come to you with confession first every time I'll search for it I'll be able to find one a Genuine confession, and I will come and ask you to forgive me, and that's how I will initiate the process She goes good that works for me, too So so you're gonna. Tell me I'm good You're gonna do what I want and the domestic things and you're gonna take Humility the responsibility to confess your sin first she goes I love this this is like really working Again, I made the commitment. I've never done it before but it was awesome But I'm glad I did it I'm glad I said if I don't do it. I want I I need to confess it to you if I don't follow through on this every single time Let's go to number six. I Made a commitment to her because the guy said it and I buy it. I mean I bought it for 25 years I believe it. I said I will never relate to another woman that you're uncomfortable with for any reason whatsoever Any reason sometimes a Wife has discernment other times the wife has jealousy and other times. It's a mixture of the two Guys come to me, and they say yeah, but it's an old friend and my wife is just being jealous. I said so So what if she's just jealous the relationship is different now because you have a covenant with your wife Yeah, but I don't want to lose the relationship no you don't understand you made a covenant with your wife every relationship is Secondary to that and is reformed in the light of that covenant every relationship Guy goes. I know but she's just being jealous. I said so what? Honor her do what she wants Maybe she's not just being jealous, but I said here's a point to consider You've been married to her for ten years And she's still not confident Tell me what that says about your leadership over ten years I? Said she's been with you ten years. She sees what you look at and who you look at she sees how you talk She sees how you touch, and she says I'm jealous. That's a whole lot more about you than it is about her And I said even if it's mostly about you Honor her 100% of this this really makes young guys mad They're newly married. They go what she just am I go total wrong spirit number seven finally Contend for her honor. I made a commitment to her. I said in our home and in other ways as well But I said you will never have to fight for honor in our home never Not only will I give you honor, but our children we have two sons They're both in their early 30s now Luke and Paul you know I they'd be five six seven eight years old and They would say something in a tone to their mother and I would hear them, and that's it guys You don't understand I said you're talking to my wife that way I have a problem with how you're treating my wife Your dad you're getting awful intense here. It's our mom. I go no forget the mom thing for now She's my wife, and we're gonna have a come-to-Jesus talk right now. You can't do this in my home I'm in it. I had a number of conversations like that with them I remember once I came home during the day and and Diane doesn't mind that I tell the story and She said I told you to dada dada. She raised her voice and that tone I said Sweetheart, why did you just do that? She was well. I've asked them three times I Said that's not okay She goes what do you mean? I said if you have to raise your voice and Say it three times That's a statement about my leadership over these two boys And I looked at her. I said I apologize to you for that. This is not okay in my home We had another come-to-Jesus meeting we had got a few of them I said when my wife Asked you to do something. She never has to raise her voice ever in this house ever never Now if she wants to that's her business, but I don't want her to have to Because I'm not functioning as the leader in a proper way And I'll say this just because it's fun to say My two sons have honored my wife in a most remarkable way in their 30-plus years each of I mean remarkable And the way they honor their wives is is a picture of it. I look at I go. Yes. Yes. Yes Now a Child won't do it unless they see the dad do it if the dad sarcastic short Angry tone, they'll do it the dad has to do it twice as Much as the children or he won't establish honor for that wife in the home the dad cannot have relapses and if he does That's okay because I had failures But I would get my boys together and I would say do you see how dad talked that was? Sinful and I asked your mom to forgive me and I want you boys to forgive me for talking to mom that way and they go We got the message then we get all happy and I'd say now you realize how serious I am about you doing it, too This can't happen in our home ever never and if it does we have to acknowledge it as sin Well as I bring this to an end. I'm gonna look at K Many men now again a lot a number of you aren't married but you might be or will be and You know married people that you need to speak wisdom into when they ask you but here's your Mother's Day gift husbands K Men assume they're doing all of these that's how we are. Oh, yeah, I do all that. That's cool Here's what you're gonna do for Mother's Day. This will beat flowers. This will be chocolates You're gonna look at her to private time not with anybody around you're gonna say tell me how I can improve On any of these things. Happy Mother's Day. She'll say really? Yeah. I want you to tell me I really want to know And it doesn't have to be these seven It might be a few other ones or maybe not all these you ask her and I do this to my wife periodically I'll say talk to me about How I'm keeping my commitments to you show me my blind spots and she says I never feel more loved Than when you talk to me and open the door like that so That's your Mother's Day gift now you still give her the flowers and take I do what you're doing But make sure this will be the biggest gift. You'll give her today and Just I have to acknowledge this. I struggle with this message because I'm I'm very aware. There are women in this room They don't have a man in their home and they have children and for many different reasons many situations And I as I was prepared this my heart was hurting. I was going. Oh, I Saw some faces. I went. Oh, this will hurt I said Lord, I don't know how to say these truths and Care for their hearts, and I still don't know how to do that Because some of them are so aware of a situation where this could never happen for them But I at least wanted to acknowledge that not that that makes it a whole lot better. But at least we're aware of that Amen, let's stand. Happy Mother's Day I'm gonna ask the men. I know I went real long, but I got too long-winded on the stories But I would like the men You don't have to do this, by the way You do it in your chair, but I want us to make recommitments to the Lord but if you want to come forward, I want them you to come forward husbands and Recommit to them. I have the ladies come pray pray for you But again, you can do it in your chair if you want But if you'd like to say yeah I want to come forward stand before the Lord in that sense and have someone just lay hands I mean agree with me. I'm committing myself that I'm going to understand my wife and I'm gonna honor her Maybe not those exact seven ways you honor your wife again That's there's more than those seven, but that's not comprehensive, but I'm committed to do that. I want to invite you to come forward We'll end with that Any man in this room and I'm gonna have the ladies come and pray for you and when they're praying for you Part of what they're doing. They're just saying you know what I agree with your commitment To honor your wife I agree with it. They're just standing in agreement say this is good They don't know exactly what you're committing to but they know generally and they're saying I agree to this Ladies, come on up Just move around just pray for different ones. You say Lord bless this heart Beloved we want a culture of honor in this house We don't want a culture of accusation in our families No, I don't want broken homes. We're kingdom men. We're men of the kingdom. This is what we do Our leader Jesus, this is how he leads Women come on up if you Pray for any of the guys pray for a couple To me my sweet sickness touches I I want what you want. We love Jesus Lord in me My I want what you want I I Oh Oh Oh Oh