Celebrating Celibacy
by
Jimmy Humphrey
As of July 2nd, 2012, I will be a 30 years old. And Im still a virgin. And in light of this milestone in my life, I feel I have something really important to say. At first glance, you may notice this is a lengthy essay. But after 30 years of keeping myself sexually pure, I think Ive earned the right for you to give me a longer than normal attention span. Im a pretty rare breed of men. There arent too many people like me in this world. To be so far along in life, yet to still remain a virgin.
Im a virgin not because Ive never been able to get a date, nor because Ive lacked opportunity to engage in promiscuous behavior. I am a virgin by choice. And not merely by my choosing, but the choosing of God, who has saved and guarded my virginity up until this point in my life, so that I might be given the opportunity and privilege to bear a unique witness to this world, and an encouragement to the church.
### When Heaven Meets Earth ###
And I looked, and, lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty and four thousand, having his Father's name written in their foreheads. And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps: And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the first fruits unto God and to the Lamb. And in their mouth was found no guile: for they are without fault before the throne of God. (Revelation 14:1-5; KJV)
The book of Revelation is well known for its violent, frightening, and apocalyptic imagery. In this book, we read of a world gone mad. The wrath of God is poured out upon all those who are upon the earth. The moon becomes as of blood. The stars in the heavens fall upon the earth. The anti-Christ rises to power. Nation wages war against nation. A vast majority of the world is destroyed. Billions die.
But in the middle of all that is going on in the world, John continually gives us little glimpses into heavenly things. He continually lets us see what is going on behind the scenes of the cosmic drama playing out in the world. Like the Lord did with him, he invites us to come up into the heavens and see things as God sees them. In the midst of a world in chaos, we have the opportunity to see into a world that is engaged in worship.
I dont know about you, but I really like this image.
In this striking vision, John sees things in a way we dont normally see things. In our culture, we have a tendency to draw a line between heaven and earth. We divide the sacred from the secular and separate the church from the state. We think heaven is heaven, earth is earth, and never do the two meet. But here, John erases the line we draw. In Johns vision, heaven and earth merge together, and to tell where one ends and the other begins becomes an impossible task.
John sees a vision in which Jesus Christ is standing upon Jerusalem, surrounded by 144,000 people who represent all of the redeemed. We read of a majestic heavenly voice that is likened unto the roll of thunder, while simultaneously sounding like a group of harpists plucking their chords. We read of heavenly creatures. We read of song, celebration, and adoration. And those who are singing, the 144,000 redeemed, are heralded as something quite peculiar, both to our society and ancient civilization. They are likened unto virgins, and are said to follow Christ wherever He goes.
### The Virginity Stigma ###
Virginity. What in Johns vision is held as a point of celebration by God, is esteemed by many as a badge of shame within our culture. In our society, virginity is something that is to be lost or taken. And the sooner you can rid yourself of this stigma, the better.
The reproach of being a virgin is almost unbearable in our society. So much so that many teens aim to lose their virginity by prom, or by the time they go off to college. You dont want to be known as the person who has failed to do so by a certain age, otherwise you will be looked upon as something of a loser, who has the inability to get laid. You dont want to be known as the 40 year old virgin. And once this right of passage is crossed, there is the expectation in our culture that you should have at least a few more sexual partners before you ever settle down and get married.
Choosing to be celibate and saving yourself for marriage is considered an unrealistic and outdated expectation. Times have changed, it is said. Having sex is likened unto test driving a car. It is common sense that you would never buy a car without taking it for a spin first. So, why on earth would you marry somebody youve never had sex with? Relationships rise and fall depending on the quality and frequency of sex. If the sex is good, one may entertain ideas of a long term romance that leads to marriage. But if it isnt good, then the relationship is quickly terminated.
The logic of this is very compelling. However, it is a logic that fails to see things as God sees them. First and foremost, the morality of celibacy is not something that has a 21st century expiration date on it. The word of God is timeless. And although John had his vision in Revelation nearly 2,000 years ago, the vision that John had is still of a time that is yet to come. It is for a time that is still future dated. It is a time at the end of the world in which God still celebrates a people whom He likens unto virgins.
Second. Likening people unto cars that have to be first taken for a spin before you buy is one of the most dehumanizing perspectives mankind has ever emraced. It is a social injustice. We should be ashamed that we think of sex between two people in such terminology. Men and women are not large hunks of metal with wheels that you take for a drive. They are individuals with a soul, created in the very image of God. To treat somebody as something you take for a spin before buying is to destroy the very image of the God they were created in.
The pervasiveness of this worldly perspective is quite amazing. And its impact on the church is equally amazing. And I am convinced, in part, that the reason that there are very few 20-somethings to be found in the church these days is because many young adults simply know this is how the game is played in our society. Many young adults flee the church and never darken her door again until they find that special somebody they are sexually compatible with, get married, and have a kid on hip. I am convinced many turned their backs on God and left the church for a number of years, because they were afraid should they choose the path of celibacy, they might risk the prospect of not getting married, and going through life alone.
No doubt, many of the kids who grew up in the church, and that end up disappearing after High School, and never showing up again until they have a kid on their hip were probably never really saved to begin with. I have no doubt about that. But such a diagnosis, I believe, is a bit short-sighted, naïve, and overly simplistic. Things are much more complicated than that. And the fact of the matter, sin is much more complicated than that. A quick glance through the apostle Pauls letters to the Corinthians should be enough to confirm this fact.
The truth is, the commitment to sexual purity before marriage, during marriage, and even after marriage is a painful cross that many genuinely saved Christians simply do not wish to bear. And when the alternative pleasure can be obtained relatively easily and cheaply these days, I am not altogether surprised that many choose to take the path that they do. It is rather natural to take the path of least resistance, especially when the other path leads to a cross.
Lest there be any confusion here, I am in no way justifying such sinful behavior. In fact, I condemn such behavior a thousand times over, and I weep over the lack of chastity even amongst Gods people. Young Christian adults lose their virginity and engage in regular sexual relations outside the bounds of marriage. And within marriage, spouses cheat on each other at an alarmingly high rate. Divorce is common. Re-marriage happens without so much as one pastor counseling against it.
Yet, things need not be this way. And indeed, they wouldnt be this way if the church would learn to see things as God sees them, and not only embraces the path of celibacy, but it should come to the point where it openly celebrates celibacy in spite of the taunt of the world against it. Instead of people seeing their lack of sexual activity as some sort of prudish ethic that keeps them from having fun and finding personal fulfillment, people need to come to the place where they see such an ethic as an opportunity for God to truly do something glorious through their lives. Instead of seeing the commitment to sexual purity as a badge of shame and as an extreme that only the uber-holy commit themselves to, we need to see celibacy as a garment of praise and as normative for all within the church.
### A Unique Witness ###
In Romans 1, the apostle Paul teaches that through the creation of this world, a natural revelation of God has been disclosed, and this revelation teaches us all something about Him. The massive size of the universe speaks of His greatness and power. The careful detail given to the smallest of things speaks of how much God cares for us. And in the marriage union, I believe something of the gospel is proclaimed, as God gives us a powerful picture of what an intimate and personal relationship with Him is like. Through the mystical bond formed between a man and a woman, we are made aware of the union that is possible between us and Christ.
But outside of the sacredness of this union in marriage, the gospel being preached through the creation becomes distorted. Through fornication, a counterfeit gospel is proclaimed. And the theology of that fake gospel is so poor that society has reduced things to the point where sexual intimacy has become akin to shopping for a Chevy. It is no wonder that so few people truly know God. We should be outraged and offended over such a mindset, and the thought of anybody having sex outside of marriage should arouse in us a deep jealousy for the glory of God and the purity of the gospel message itself.
We need to see our commitment to celibacy and the sacredness of sex within the marriage union as something beyond merely saving ourselves for marriage, delaying gratification, avoiding STDs and unwanted pregnancies. We shouldnt see virginity as a thing to be lost or taken. We need to see it as a gift given to us by God that allows us the opportunity to bear a unique testimony in this world and in our preaching of the gospel message.
If marriage is a picture of what a possible relationship with God is like, then being single and celibate should be viewed as a picture of what it means to search after God with all of our hearts and all of our souls, until we find the One we are truly looking for. In Johns vision, the 144,000 virgins are said to follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. That needs to be us in our testimony. Like in John's vision, heaven needs to meet earth, and it needs to do so in us. I am single and I am celibate, not because I have somehow failed to lose my virginity, but because I am merely one who follows the Lamb wherever He goes.
My testimony is that I am a virgin who is in hot pursuit of God, and I will not be satisfied until I am able to take a hold of Him. And until I find the woman whom God grants me the opportunity to marry, I will be the person whom God has called me to be. I will be celebrating my celibacy, and teaching others to do the same. And when God finally grants me the blessing of taking a hold of the hand of the woman I am to marry, and putting a ring on her finger, I will rejoice.
I will rejoice, not because I finally get to lose my virginity and have sex. But I will rejoice, because I will finally have taken hold of the one whom God has for me, even as in my pursuit of Christ, I have taken hold of Him. And in this, my virginity shall not be something that is lost, but a gift that is given. A gift, not only for my wife, but as part of the gospel message I have the opportunity to proclaim to all of creation. It will be part of my testimony to a lost and dying world that does not know God. And for them, it will be an opportunity to see and know Christ, in a world that doesnt get to see Him very often.
http://www.iamadisciple.com/articles/celebrating_celibacy.php
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Jimmy H
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