| Poster | Thread | Solomon101
Member
Joined: 2008/4/1
Posts: 536
America's Flyover Country
| | The Art Of Overlooking An Offense | | We live in a culture where weve all been well trained on how to be offended. Every day we seem to be the victim of something.
We are quick to judge.
Quick to condemn.
Quick to throw the penalty flag.
Quick to call the foul.
Quick to be offended.
Were slow to ask: Is this something I should just overlook?
Proverbs 19:11 says,
A persons wisdom yields patience; it is to ones glory to overlook an offense.
Its your glory!!
Now, overlooking an offense is not the same as pretending it didnt happen. Its a conscious decision, a form of forgiveness. Its a choice to say Im not going to focus on, talk about, or let that offense grow inside of me into hurt and bitterness.
In a culture that has mostly lost the art of how to overlook an offense, I pray youll let God do this work in you today. God takes great delight in helping us do things we simply cant do on our own.
How are you doing in this area of maturity?
Shared from Pete Wilson on Churchleaders.com. |
|  2012/6/12 9:34 | Profile |
| | Re: The Art Of Overlooking An Offense | | Quote:
Now, overlooking an offense is not the same as pretending it didnt happen. Its a conscious decision, a form of forgiveness. Its a choice to say Im not going to focus on, talk about, or let that offense grow inside of me into hurt and bitterness.
In a culture that has mostly lost the art of how to overlook an offense, I pray youll let God do this work in you today. God takes great delight in helping us do things we simply cant do on our own.
How are you doing in this area of maturity?
Im not doing brilliantly well Solomon101. I agree with what you have shared with all my heart. Most of the time! It is a real blessing to be delivered from offense. It is also a bitterness not to be delivered. Thank you for sharing. |
| | 2012/6/12 10:01 | | pilgrim777
Member
Joined: 2011/9/30
Posts: 1211
| | Re: The Art Of Overlooking An Offense | | Hey there Solomon,
This may be off topic a bit, but you touched something inside me that I have been observing in the Church for years.
Quote:
Now, overlooking an offense is not the same as pretending it didnt happen. Its a conscious decision, a form of forgiveness. Its a choice to say Im not going to focus on, talk about, or let that offense grow inside of me into hurt and bitterness.
I am glad you mentioned this very important statement. Because we should not be gullible and think that "forgiveness" is the same as complete and total "license".
For example: A young girl is abused sexually by her father when she is young. Later in life, she becomes a Christian, gets married and has children. After she had children, her father becomes a Christian, too.
She forgives her father, but does that mean she should let him babysit her kids or be alone with them?
Some Christians are judged for not letting the father who has this kind of past babysit the kids or be alone with them. They accuse the Mother of being unloving and lacking forgiveness. I think, she is just being wise! You can forgive without holding bitterness, but that does not mean you lose your mind (wisdom).
Condemnation comes from below. Reject it and don't be manipulated by it. Many wish they had not accepted it. I see this propensity in the Church today to err on the side of foolishness/gullibility and even teach that "if you truly forgave your Dad and believe that he is a new creature in Christ, you will trust him like you trust others".
Well, please forgive the Mother who cannot bring herself to trust her Dad, Husband, or whoever else may have done something like this to her and now wants to be treated like others are around her kids.
Pilgrim |
| | 2012/6/12 11:08 | Profile | rainydaygirl
Member
Joined: 2008/10/27
Posts: 742
| | Re: | | Some Christians are judged for not letting the father who has this kind of past babysit the kids or be alone with them. They accuse the Mother of being unloving and lacking forgiveness. I think, she is just being wise! You can forgive without holding bitterness, but that does not mean you lose your mind (wisdom).
Pilgrim
I have a question for you, in regards to what you said that she is using wisdom in not letting them spend time alone with her dad? But if she believes that her dad is truly born again and walking with Jesus then why would there be an issue? I mean can not the Lord keep her dad from sinning again? I guess what I am asking is if someone was a liar or a thief and they came to Jesus would we always need to question them on if they are telling the truth? would we always need to be careful with out stuff so they don't steal it? If someone is made new in the Lord and God has forgiven them and it says He buries their sins in the deepest ocean then how should we respond to them? because of the sin committed does that mean that its ok for us to keep an account of it and not ever trust?? Perhaps if time passes and the dad walks many years with the Lord and shows fruit would that change anything? Just trying to figure some of this out for myself as well. What makes some sins different then another?
What makes her dad less trust worthy then say the man who hits his wife and asks to be forgiven? Its a really difficult situation for me
rdg |
| | 2012/6/12 11:35 | Profile |
| | Re: Did I miss something! | | Quote:
I am glad you mentioned this very important statement. Because we should not be gullible and think that "forgiveness" is the same as complete and total "license".
Did I miss something here. I though Solomon101 was asking about forgiving those who have caused us offense. The reality appears to be in being able to genuinely forgive as opposed to Intellectually overlooking which may be simply pride. Otherwise this post will become a snare! Something I won't tolerate. Its one thing not to be offended its another thing to allow a snare to be formed which will destroy a testimony. |
| | 2012/6/12 11:54 | | ginnyrose
Member
Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi
| | Re: | | rdg,
Given the nature of males, the temptation of immorality is always lurking for for expression. The wisdom of the mother to withhold her children from a person who in the past had succumbed to this temptation is to protect not only her children but also the perpetrator.
And let us be sensible, is it very wise to ever get another male to babysit your children? Even when there is no record of any moral misbehavior in this male, I would still be very reluctant to do so. It would have to be an emergency for me to allow this.
rdg, caution for whatever reason is always a good idea. If one feels a check in your spirit you do well to listen. You may not understand the reasons behind it, but given the depravity of man one does well to obey. Personally, I believe this check in one's spirit is the working of the Holy Spirit. The reasons for this check may never become known to you, but God knows and that is all that is necessary, don't you think?
God bless.
ginnyrose
_________________
Sandra Miller
|
| | 2012/6/12 11:56 | Profile | TMK
Member
Joined: 2012/2/8
Posts: 6650
NC, USA
| | | 2012/6/12 12:45 | Profile | pilgrim777
Member
Joined: 2011/9/30
Posts: 1211
| | Re: | | Quote:
But if she believes that her dad is truly born again and walking with Jesus then why would there be an issue? I mean can not the Lord keep her dad from sinning again?
rainydaygirl, the error in your question is that the Lord does not keep anyone from sinning, again. Can you show me an example of that? If it comes down to the welfare of her babies, or the fact that her father "Feels bad" because she won't leave her babies with him, then let him feel bad.
God does not keep us from sinning, again. We keep ourselves from sinning by his power and grace. People that have had a pattern of certain very strong sins in their lives, many times return to them so why help them with temptation?
Again, what is more important, the babies or the father's feelings?
I'm glad he is forgiven but it doesn't automatically give him carte blanche trust with everyone without evidence of years of fruit.
I know someone that was a liar and a thief and a drug addict and he had a genuine conversion or so people thought at the time. But then he returned to his lying and thieving and deceiving ways, but always with the facade of Christianity. His mother would blame the other Christians for him "backsliding" and never becoming an Overcomer. She would say, "If you just accepted him, and called him once in awhile, he would not feel so bad. But your rejection of him makes him feel bad and that is why he finds it difficult to walk with God."
Our ability to walk with God should not be dependent on how favorably or unfavorably others treat us. Unfortunately, this young man never really wanted to walk with God.
Quote:
What makes her dad less trust worthy then say the man who hits his wife and asks to be forgiven?
I did not say he was less trustworthy, this is your example.
A man who hits his wife has real problems and yes they can be forgiven, but the root of that manifestation has to be dealt with and in the meantime, if I was the wife, I would not be completely trusting.
Forgiving others is completely different than trusting others. But most people have been taught they go hand in hand. If someone asks forgiveness, then they should be trusted, also and I just think (depending on the situation) that that is very foolhardy and could be quite dangerous.
Pilgrim |
| | 2012/6/12 13:58 | Profile | Miccah
Member
Joined: 2007/9/13
Posts: 1752
Wisconsin
| | Re: The Art Of Overlooking An Offense | | Good word Solomon101. Thank you. You have opened a door that we should all look into.
I personally do not like what I see when I open my door, and I am going to be praying that the Lord grow in me the fruits of the spirit.
Blessings!
_________________
Christiaan
|
| | 2012/6/12 14:07 | Profile | ginnyrose
Member
Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi
| | Re: | | edg,
Trust is earned. Once it has been violated, it is up to the perpetrator to earn it back. Granted, forgiveness will make it easy for him to do so, but it does not diminish his responsibility to do so.
____________________________________________________________
QUOTE:
" Forgiving others is completely different than trusting others. But most people have been taught they go hand in hand. If someone asks forgiveness, then they should be trusted, also and I just think (depending on the situation) that that is very foolhardy and could be quite dangerous."
____________________________________________________________
Excellent post, Pilgrim.
ginnyrose
_________________
Sandra Miller
|
| | 2012/6/12 14:58 | Profile |
|
