| Poster | Thread |
JaySaved
Member
Joined: 2005/7/11
Posts: 1132
Missouri
| | Re: | | ...after the pastor finishes his series on Mark, he motions for the snakes.
or
...after the pastor finishes his series on Mark, he asks if anyone is thirsty. |
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 2007/1/31 15:22 | Profile |
JaySaved
Member
Joined: 2005/7/11
Posts: 1132
Missouri
| | Re: | | ...after the 10th verse of "Just as I am" you are tempted to walk down the aisle to Rededicate something in order to end the invitation. |
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| 2007/1/31 15:29 | Profile |
Compton
Member
Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 2732
| | Re:You Know You're Visiting a Bad Church If... | | ...the worship team performs and sings "Born To Be Wild" at the request of the elders to celebrate the pastor's 55th birthday on Sunday morning. (This was my church...)
Quote:
On your way in you see a bearded man knocking on the door to be let in, and folks inside refer to Him as the crazy legalistic guy outside.
Oh my...that's too close for comfort.
MC
:-( :-( :-(
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Mike Compton
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| 2007/1/31 15:32 | Profile |
JoeA
Member
Joined: 2004/11/29
Posts: 364
Decatur, Illinois
| | Re: | | . . . they have a special "Super Bowl Sunday!" service. God forbid that He should be the main attraction.
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Joe Auvil
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| 2007/1/31 15:33 | Profile |
taco
Member
Joined: 2004/4/27
Posts: 211
| | Re: | | this is true , of a fellowship I used to attend(which makes it sadder rather than funnier)
The pastor gives a message in "tongues" and then begins the intrepretation
"buttons buttons buttons, there are all kinds of buttons - brass buttons silver buttons yea even choclate buttons"
Upon which hearing, members of the cngregation began praising the Lord with "thank you Jesus" and "Amen". |
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| 2007/1/31 15:34 | Profile |
PaulWest
Member
Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas
| | Re: | | ...before the "power service" the entire worship team is outside in the parking lot smoking and joking. (true story)
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Paul Frederick West
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| 2007/1/31 15:35 | Profile |
PaulWest
Member
Joined: 2006/6/28
Posts: 3405
Dallas, Texas
| | Re: | | ...for "Valentine's Day" the church sanctuary hosts a quiet, candlelight dinner for married couples, replete with chocolate-dipped strawberries and slow-dancing to popular contemporary Christian ballads. (true story - $20.00 per couple)
...the children's church superintendent brings her Mary Kay cosmetics kit on Wednesday night to teach pre-teen girls how to put on make-up. (true story)
Are you getting angry yet?
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Paul Frederick West
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| 2007/1/31 15:44 | Profile |
roaringlamb
Member
Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 1519
Santa Cruz California
| | Re: | | The pastor opens with a joke, and closes with a joke, and everyone laughs all the way through.
The pastor stands up to preach, and opens PDL rather than the Bible, or begins to quote R.W.
The pastor preaches a message you just listened to another man preach the night before, jokes and all.(used to happen almost every Sunday)
When the pews begin to have cup holders for your Starbucks
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patrick heaviside
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| 2007/1/31 15:54 | Profile |
roaringlamb
Member
Joined: 2003/6/11
Posts: 1519
Santa Cruz California
| | Re: You Know You're Visiting a Bad Church If... | | The preacher is wearing sweats and a Carolina Panthers jersey :-P
(for you Krisp)
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patrick heaviside
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| 2007/1/31 15:59 | Profile |
| | Re: | | LOL... ya got me!! Good one!
Krispy |
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| 2007/1/31 16:03 | |
