February 12

When I would do good, evil is present with me. - Romans 7:21.

THE chief sorrows of Christians are those which arise from their sins and infirmities. Paul, who was a great saint, speaks of these as he does of none of his other imperfections. “Oh, wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death! For a Christian to know that he is under obligation continually to do good, and yet to feel that when he would do good evil is present with him; to know that his progress is necessary, and to feel himself hindered at every step; to feel vain thoughts lodging within him; to feel cold affections in duty,-such as a want of faith, and spirit, and liveliness in devotional exercises, in the closet, and at the family altar, and in the sanctuary,-how greatly it distresses him! for he has a conscience that is living and awake. It is inconsistent with our new and spiritual nature to perceive our deficiencies and not be affected by them; to love purity and feel so much pollution; to have a faithful God and an almighty Saviour who is worthy to be trusted, and not be able to confide in him; to know that the promises “are all yea and amen in Christ Jesus,” and yet be unable to believe in them; to have an Infinite Benefactor, and yet cannot praise him; to be eager to go forward in their course, and yet be behind; to wish to be workmen that need not be ashamed, and never be able to put anything out of their hands that is not marred and spoiled as Boon as it is done, and unfit for the Great Master’s use; to enter into the presence of a Being they so much love, and come thither with so much that they know he must hate; never to be able to lean on his dear bosom without piercing it.

Oh, says the Christian, how wretched I feel! for I have the best of masters, and he has the worst of servants in me; and, still more, so to oblige him to say, “My sun of experience, like Joshua’s, is standing still;” or, worse, My sun of experience, like the dial of Ahaz, has been “gone back ten degrees.” This leads him to inquire,-

“Where is the blessedness I knew

When first I saw the Lord?

Where is the soul refreshing view

Of Jesus and his word?”

And by fresh trials, administered by the providence of God, he discovers fresh corruption, looks again into the chamber of imagery, and inquires, “Lord, who can understand his errors? “Cleanse thou me from secret faults?”