Tozer was a pastor, and it's a tough job. Very hard on families because church memebers demand so much from their pastors.
However, if we follow the Biblical model of the church we can avoid a lot of that. In the NT we see Christians taking care of the poor, taking care of one another, etc. Today we expect the pastor to take care of us. Someone's sick? Call the pastor. No, my friends! Someone's sick? YOU go visit them!
Someone's in jail? YOU go visit him!
etc and so on...
| 2008/11/18 7:53|
I appreciate this refreshingly simple thread. (It's a pleasant change from threads that discuss things we have no control over.)
My wife, pretty, cheery, energetic, positive, selfless, practical, and convinced I'm Mr. Wonderful, is just a very easy person to be around. For fifteen years we've happily made it a point to go out up to twice a week---once for ourselves, and once with different people. Our personal dates almost always involve some time at a restaurant, and occasionally involves an over night at a hotel. We enjoy talking for hours, and the time always goes by too fast.
As a special side note, my time with my wife is enhanced greatly when I make dates with the kids. I try to make a regular habit of breakfast or dinner dates with each of them individually throughout the week. I live in a little country community but there is a pizza shop a block down the street that each of the kids enjoy the opportunity walk to and sit with dad after their homework is vanquished. Some weeks we are less successful at finding the time for our dates due to the notorious over-scheduling that is typical of modern life. In those weeks we are are at least inclined to fit in some kind of venture together. (One activity we recently started is going to a local open mic night and building relationships with people in our town.)
We live in a cozy house, in a cozy burg, so being cozy around each other is very natural here in the Compton household. I attribute our current happy situation to God's wise afflictions in not giving me the things I wanted when I was younger...he was already preparing for me the things I am thankful for in my 40's when I was yet in my 20's.
And remember men, if you want to sustain romance with your wife, then take your children out for dates and watch the little hearts float out of her when she looks at you. ;-)
| 2008/11/19 23:41||Profile|
Hey Comp... thats a good point. We don't have daughters, but instead the Lord blessed us with 4 future men of God.
My two older boys would look at me sideways if I said we're going on a date... lol. But I do make a point of spending time with each of them. When I go to Home Depot I take one with me. When I run out to get pizza (cant get delivery where we are) I take one with me. We do canoe trips down the French Broad, we hike at Chimney Rock or Graveyard Fields (those familiar with western NC know what I am referring to). We fish, we hunt... etc.
It's very important for dads to spend time with their kids. Hard to believe my oldest will be old enough to vote in the next Presidential election. They sure do grow up fast.
And you're right... I get those adoring eyes from my bride when I treat her babies special. :-)
| 2008/11/20 8:01|
| Re: What do you do with your spouse for 'date night'?|
Yesterday was our wedding fifteenth anniversary.
Not having a lot on money, we went to a new pizza place. We had pizza & salad.
Sitting near us was another couple with their daughter (about three yrs old). The daughter kept looking at my wife, which created conversation between us & the other couple.
We told them it was our anniversary & that we have 6 children. The wife said that she was 1 of 6 children, but her parents never went out like we (my wife & I) were.
Anyway, they wished us a happy anniversary and left. My wife & I finished our meal and it came time to pay the bill.
Then our waitress told us that our billed was paid by the other couple. Thank you Jesus! He is so awesome!
[i][b]And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.[/b][/i] Phil 4:19-20
| 2008/11/20 8:20||Profile|
Hey thats cool! Isn't God good?
We enjoy picking up other peoples bills in restaraunts too. It's more of a blessing to us than it is for the other people.
It's a great witness to the waitress too.
| 2008/11/20 8:36|
I'd like to commend all you married folks for trying to still have a "date night." For one thing that grieves my heart is to have heard that A.W. Tozer's widow, who later remarried, exclaimed that she "finally had a husband." As great as Tozer was, and as much as we cherish the great things he left the church, I think this is a sad blemish on his life.
Romance, sadly, has often not been looked at by the Church as something that is spiritual. Indeed, there are few activities that are as spiritual as romancing your spouse. Sadly, the Song of Solomon has been allegorized away or simply ignored. Likewise, proverbs does command us to "cherish [rejoice!] the wife of your youth."
An old saint once told me to never stop pursuing your wife once you get married. Pursue her (or him) until the day you die. ...I plan heed the advice....
...if we follow the Biblical model of the church we can avoid a lot of that..
... I attribute our current happy situation to God's wise afflictions in not giving me the things I wanted when I was younger...he was already preparing for me the things I am thankful for in my 40's when I was yet in my 20's.
I appreciate the responses and have been encouraged, since I have been doing similar things with my wife. However, two things concern me.
The first is the lack of responses. I do not say this because I feel like people are ignoring 'my' thread, rather because I know there must be more married couples. The lack of responses causes me to think that couples are not having 'date nights' or are not spending quality time with their spouse. With the thousands of hits and replies to other threads, it is not due to the lack of believers, so I wonder why this subject is taken as less important.
The second concern is about the quote KJ brought us about Tozer. I am not going to knock Tozer, but it makes me wonder about other 'men of God', whom we raise to that plateau, but have 'failed' to be 'men of the house', especially to their spouse.
Maybe my concerns are unwarranted and I am raising a blank and transparent flag, however, having read the thread a few times as it has grown the same two concerns have rung true.
Are we taking care of our responsibilities properly and are we leading by example and setting that example as a light on a hill for younger believers to follow?
What do I know, I have only been married a year and a half?!...although, I do seek examples and Saintly direction.
| 2008/11/30 1:45|
two things concern me.
The first is the lack of responses.
I liked your thread and I think I was the first one to respond to it. It deals with real life and was refreshing to think on things that aren't so deep for a change.
'krispykritter' (not sure of the spelling) had one on economic woahs that I felt the same way about. I enjoyed the responses to it.
I had one that I had hoped to see more responses to that I called 'your ministry' where I wanted people to briefly describe the ministry they are involved in. I thought it would be interesting and helpful to see the different ways God uses His people. Not many responded to it. It is in General Topics if it interest you to do so.
I have not been on the site long, but I have learned, as eager as we all are to see if anyone responds to our thoughts, you almost have to face ahead of time the possibility that no one will. It is really no reflection of the quality or lack there of of what we have said. There is just so much that goes through here, it is hard to give it all its due.
One of the lighter things I have posted was a couple of days ago called 'hospitable friends - God's gift to us'. I felt as good about the thought as any I had posted. Only one couple responded to it but it seemed very genuine. I really appreciated what they had to say.
I am learning to post less, keep it positive and just make sure before I submit, that I should. After that, it is the Lord's to do with what He pleases.
| 2008/11/30 15:33||Profile|