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Nile
Member



Joined: 2007/3/28
Posts: 403
Raleigh, NC

 Re:

Quote:

PaulWest wrote:
I do not think men and women of God should meet members of the opposite sex alone [i]for any reason[/i]. Those who do so are not wise, they are immature in the faith and completely unsuspecting of the devil's vast arsenal. If a woman wants to speak with me and get advice concerning her marital issues, I'll ask her to call her husband also. If she is single, I won't discuss things with her unless my wife is in the room (ideally) or another Christian is nearby. I would [i]never[/i] agree to meet someone alone of the opposite sex, in a car, restaurant, office, or otherwise. The negative factors invloved are extensive, and we open all kinds of doors for enemy tactics. Temptation is only but a single threat. Lies, rumors, accusations can run amuck. Satan is also a master seed-planter, and can sow all kinds of filthy things, if not in your head, in the heads of others who can exponentially damage your reputation by slander and storytelling. The trick to survival is to give no place for the enemy to set up camp. If you are in the habit meeting alone with someone of the opposite sex you are transversing a land mine. Why even put yourself in such a predicament for the enemies of God to blaspheme on your account?

Avoid all occasions to ruin your testimony. Pursue perfection. The "old paths" upheld these standards; the new paths have inconspicuously converged with the world's lacksidaisical customs and Christians now venture into pastures not ordained by God, to their hurt.



Amen brother. Well said.


_________________
Matthew Miskiewicz

 2007/5/2 11:13Profile
awakenwithin
Member



Joined: 2007/1/31
Posts: 985
AZ

 Re:

Thank you all for your input.
I Know in my heart what is right and
what is wrong. I know I want to be pure
with my thoughts and actions.

after being part of the prayer team were
sometimes only one guy would come. I started thinking it was ok to pray with guys alone.

Krispy quote:
Prayer is " a very intmate thing.. draws people together." I agree.
So was I in the wrong for praying, in my spirit I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong.
But now I can see how it can be unwise.
I pray with so many differnt people, I really just love praying with people.
Maybe praying at a Church or with others would be ok?
I want to be pure.

I guess I was questioning being alone with this guy and praying. Because so many say don't ever be alone with a guy. I don't any apperance of evil. I don't to give room for the enemy room to tempt us. YOu are all right and I agree I should not be alone with, but it seems that maybe in life not very thing fits in the box.

I do think that my heart was prue and holy in this, and I think his was too. But you are right we shouldn't give room for somthing to happen.

So maybe I am still immature and also him. So please pray I have wisdom.

Yes I think that this guy fears God, but I don't think courting is in the picture.

But I look at Denny - good stuff.
Please pray I will say something and
will keep myself from being alone with
guys.

I would say a long trip 2 or more hours.

In His love
charlene




_________________
charlene

 2007/5/2 14:35Profile
roadsign
Member



Joined: 2005/5/2
Posts: 3776


 Re:avoiding the APPEARANCE of evil ?

Quote:
The Word does not give an exact definition of everything that constitutes such an appearance.


There may be a good reason for this. Scripture was not left to the mercy of our impressions. What APPEARS evil is very subjective and dependent on people’s imaginations. Jesus certainly appeared to do some evil things in the eyes of some onlookers.

Try out some versions that use language the way we do today:

“Avoid every form of evil.’ NASV
“Avoid every kind of evil” NIV
“Abstain from every kind of evil” NKJV


Being concerned about what others may think, or how you may APPEAR isn't a powerful enough check for your conscience. It can lead to the temptation to "go underground" with sin. THAT doesn't feel wrong, because it APPEARS okay.

Quote:
Because so many say don't ever be alone with a guy.

It is important to distinquish between what the Bible says, and what man says. We are warned in scripture not to add to what's there. If the Bible does not say that, then don't add it. Doing so creates a lot of false guilt and all the troubles created by legalism - fear, self-absorption, judging, pride, etc.


Charlene, when I was a teen, there were certain fellows I just KNEW I didn’t want to be alone with ever - even in a shopping mall. It's still that way. You have to use your gut sense, and don't let it get defiled with all kinds of legalism.

Above all, desire to remain faithful to the Lord. He will guide you.

Diane


_________________
Diane

 2007/5/2 15:15Profile









 Re:

Quote:
So was I in the wrong for praying, in my spirit I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong.



I dont think you were sinning. I just think it was unwise. There is a big difference.

Just be aware of it in the future, and ask God to give you wisdom to see potentially dangerous situations.

Krispy

 2007/5/2 15:22
Abide
Member



Joined: 2004/10/18
Posts: 52


 Re:

Charlene, when I was a teen, there were certain fellows I just KNEW I didn’t want to be alone with ever - even in a shopping mall. It's still that way. You have to use your gut sense at times.

Hi Charlene,

May I answer this only because it has given me a headache, Please if you will show me where In the bible does it say that we must not, or that we should not want to be alone with ever. We are called to be light I understand that we should not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers but should we hide as Christians our faith, should we continue to separate ourselves from certain people?

How is this God’s love? Please clarify so that I may understand. I for too long have stayed away from certain fellows and have even made a vow to God. I believe that there is a time when God will take certain people out of your life for a season, and then he brings them back again. It is not so that your relationship with them can be where it used to be, but in essence so that it can be taken to another level In Him.

If I am wrong please correct me.

Quote:
and don't let it get defiled with all kinds of legalism



Did you just add this?

 2007/5/2 16:22Profile
Humbled
Member



Joined: 2006/10/11
Posts: 5
Netherlands

 Re:

Dear Saints on Sermonindex,

I have been following this thread, and would like to contribute and share my opinion on this mather..
I think there are a lot of good things said. So if you feel this way about being with someone of the opposite sex or have problems with being alone with another gender or think it gives cause for a saint to stumble or might dishonor the name of Jesus, than do not spend time alone together.

However I think that there is nothing in scripture that forbids that a man and women spend (long) time alone together. I can imagine immature people reading this thread and making rules about it.. short trip is ok.. but we can not be with each other when the drive is more than 2 hours. Praying with 2 girls is ok, but praying with one girl should never be done. This is what the pharisees did, making all types of rules for all types of circumstances... now we would not want to be making our own do’s and don’ts to place burdens on ourselves and others.

What to think of Jesus at the well, I can imagine the first disciples wondering why He would do such a “sinfull”thing: And upon this came his disciples, and marvelled that he talked with the woman: yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why talkest thou with her?
What would have happenend if it was one of the disciples who was talking to the woman and the other disciples saw him, they probably would have dared to say why he did this thing. We never know though..

Paulwest wrote:
I do not think men and women of God should meet members of the opposite sex alone for any reason. Those who do so are not wise, they are immature in the faith and completely unsuspecting of the devil's vast arsenal.

These are very strong statements... Not wise, immature, unsuspecting of the Devil.. This could be, if it is done in ignorance and unbelief and flesh.. But I realy do not think it is the Lords will a man and women who do not have an earthly relationship must never be alone together. Would it for a christian not be more in line with the saving overcoming message of the gospel that man and woman are able to spend time together alone in a car, a prayer meeting or anywhere else. Whitout giving in to Satan, because they ARE wise and mature in the faith? I have been to Israel once and many times a ultra orthodox jew passes or spots a woman or girl (not even dressed immodest) they take their hat of and put it between their eyes and the girl. They do not want to see such tempting creatures... Of itself it is not a bad thing, just like Job had a covenant with his eyes not to look at other women. But the freeing grace of God is more than the old covenant and legalistic laws of the jews is it not?

Even people of the world can have normal friendships and spend time with eachother without anything sexual or tempting happening.

In my experience it is easier to remain pure in thought regarding women when she is a sister in Christ then when they are of the world. Especially when they are godly, it does not even matter if she wares a long skirt or jeans, because the attention is focused on Christ in her instead of the outward appearance. I think this is a blessing. On the other hand there are also people like roadsign mentions: Charlene, when I was a teen, there were certain fellows I just KNEW I didn’t want to be alone with ever - even in a shopping mall. It's still that way. You have to use your gut sense at times.


Krispy quote:
”Prayer is a very intmate thing.. draws people together."

Jesus prayed that we might be one, why would we prevent a honest and upright brother and sister to become more one in Christ by laying some rule or personal conviction on them? I agree that it can be a drawing in a lustful way when the prayer is focussed on the other person who hears our personal things.

Awakenwithin had no convictions an upright heart and as far as she could tel the young man had too. They are praying together to the One who made them, focussing their prayers on the one who saved them. It’s not a matter of two people of the opposite sex spending prayer together. You can be with 10 Christians and half of them might pay more attention or feel more atraction to the other gender attending then to the Lord whom is in the midst of them. After all Jesus said:

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

He did not ad that He will not be there when 2 people of the opposite sex are praying.. It’s all about heart issues I think just like chris reminded his “spiriual friend”: I reminded him of Titus 1:15 ("Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled."), and how it is better to believe what is certain than suspect the worst (I Corinthians 13:4-7).

In the last days there will be a whole lot of people forbidding a whole lot of things which are in and of themselves not sinful:

Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; 3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

Bless God! And may God bless you!

All of you help me to grow in the faith..

edit: changed "head" of the jews in "hat" :)


_________________
Jeppe

 2007/5/2 16:26Profile
Here4Him
Member



Joined: 2006/9/23
Posts: 212
England

 Re:

'Humbled', i am afraid for you. The Bible says "he who thinks he stands, beware lest he fall". I am afraid that if you go on with this attitude you will be 'humbled'.

Can i exhort you my dear brother, i had reached the stage where i thought i had overcome (through God's grace) the sexual temptation struggle in my life. I thought i was 'mature', i thought that i didnt need an accountability partner because i had reached a stage where i wouldnt majorly fall in that area again, and my brother i did fall. I was humbled.

I am now afraid, i know I need Christ every hour or i am a goner. I am broken, dependant, aware of my weaknesses, and aware of Christ's strength.

"Can a man take fire to his bosom and not be burned?"

Be careful my brother, i guarentee that your heart is a lot worse than you know it to be. Maybe God has just not shown you that yet. I pray you dont have to learn the hard way.

Protect yourself, do not put yourself in any even remotely dangerous situations. I exhort you for your sake and for Christ's sake


_________________
George Platt

 2007/5/2 16:40Profile
KingJimmy
Member



Joined: 2003/5/8
Posts: 4419
Charlotte, NC

 Re:

It should be noted that Joseph and Mary went on several "long" trips together, ALONE, before they were married. Such trips would have required sleeping in a tent on the road side, or finding an ancient "hotel" along the way.


_________________
Jimmy H

 2007/5/2 16:44Profile









 Re:

Humbled... I've never seen anyone here take my words completely out of context and then misinterpret them... and then explain why I am wrong.

If you do that with my words...

By the way, I didnt totally disagree with a couple of your points. But I think you have missed the heart of what everyone has been saying.

Krispy

 2007/5/2 16:46
Here4Him
Member



Joined: 2006/9/23
Posts: 212
England

 Re:

King Jimmy said:

Quote:
It should be noted that Joseph and Mary went on several "long" trips together, ALONE, before they were married. Such trips would have required sleeping in a tent on the road side, or finding an ancient "hotel" along the way.



I can't believe what I am hearing, i think it incredibly foolish to try to justify a Christian going on 'long trips' with a member of the opposite sex by refering to the example of Mary and Joseph.

We have to be so careful. Why would you want to do such a think KingJimmy? are you mad?


_________________
George Platt

 2007/5/2 16:50Profile





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