Love (5368) (phileo from phÃlos = loved, dear, friend) means to be a friend to another, to be fond of (have a liking for) an individual or an object, to have or show affection for. In some contexts it means to kiss another as a mark of tenderness for that person. Phileo denotes personal attachment and is more a matter of sentiment or feeling. It is devotion based in the emotions distinguished from agapao which represents devotion based in the will. Stated another way phileo is chiefly of the heart whereas agape is chiefly of the head. Phileo is a love which is the response of the human spirit to what appeals to it as pleasurable. Phileo is a love which consists of the glow of the heart kindled by the perception of that in the object which affords us pleasure. Phileo is used 25 times in the NT and is translated love 13x, loves 6x, loved 3x and kiss 3x in the NAS. = Matt 6:5; 10:37; 23:6; 26:48; Mark 14:44; Luke 20:46; 22:47; John 5:20; 11:3, 36; 12:25; 15:19; 16:27; 20:2; 21:15ff; 1 Cor 16:22; Titus 3:15; Rev 3:19; 22:15 Phileo is the response of the human spirit to what appeals to it as pleasurable. The Greeks made much of friendship. Phileo was used to speak of a friendly affection. Phileo is a love called out of one in response to a feeling of pleasure or delight which one experiences from an apprehension of qualities in another that furnish such pleasure or delight. Phileo is friendship love, this "friendship factor" sadly often missing in marriages. In Scripture phileo is used to describe the love of God the Father and the Son, of Jesus and Peter, and of Jonathan and David. Phileo love is basically emotional. Phileo cannot be commanded but it can be developed in relationships. Phileo is based on the qualities in another person that you find admirable or attractive. Phileo is a fellowship type love manifested in a living and growing relationship between two friends. Phileo love does feed on response, and it cannot survive long without response from the other. Friendship love requires attention. Phileo describes a warm affection which exists between those who are near and dear. It describes a fondness, a responsive type love. One might picture phileo by the declarations "I love you because you love me" or "I love you because you are a joy", both of these showing the reciprocal nature of phileo love. Phileo love gives as long as it receives and thus is a conditional love. S Lewis Johnson adds that... Phileo refers to the love of affection, the love that arises between individuals who have mutual interests. The world loves those who are its kindred spirits (cf. John 15:19). This love is not a less genuine love than agapao„; it is simply a different kind of love. The Lord has such love for His own (cf. of our Lord's friendship with Lazarus in John 11:3, cf John 11:36; 20:2; Rev 3:19 [note]), and expects the same kind of love for Himself (cf. John 20:15-17; 16:27 ; 1 Cor 16:22). The Father loves the Son with this type of love (John 5:20), and the sons also (John 16:27 ). And Paul uses the word to refer to the love of disciples for him in the faith (Titus 3:15). (Studies in the Epistle to the Colossians: Part XI: The New Man in the Old Relationships. Bibliotheca Sacra) In sum, phileo is the love that has tender affections for another, but it always expects a response. It is the “friendship” type love. In a marriage, eros love makes us lovers, and phileo love makes us dear friends. In phileo love we share thoughts and feelings and attitudes and plans and dreams. This type of "love" for another emanates chiefly from one's heart (emotions, will) whereas agapao self less love originates from the "head" as a choice one makes independent of the loveliness or unloveliness of the recipient. Agapao is used predominantly for man’s love toward God while phileo is rarely used in this manner. Phileo describes the love of the disciples for Jesus ("for the Father Himself loves [phileo] you, because you have loved [phileo] Me, and have believed that I came forth from the Father." Jn 16:27). The saints have a love for the Lord Jesus which springs from their joy in Him, a love of delight. The Father has a love of delight in the saints, for He finds in each saint the One in whom He takes delight, the Lord Jesus, and because the saints find their delight in Him also. Believers are never told to love their enemies with a phileo love because that would imply one has to have the same interests as the enemy. When Scripture speaks of the divine love which God is, and which He produces in the heart of the yielded believer, phileo is never used. Agapao is a love springing from a sense of the preciousness of the object loved. Phileo arises from a sense of pleasure found in the object loved. John's use of agapao helps emphasize the difference in agapao and phileo. In his second epistle John opens by writing... The elder to the chosen lady and her children, whom I love in truth; and not only I, but also all who know the truth (2 John 1:1) Phileo speaks of finding pleasure in something but not that "something" is not always another person, as indicated by the following uses... "And when you pray, you are not to be as the hypocrites; for they love (phileo - present tense) to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners, in order to be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full." (see note Matthew 6:5) Hypocrites find pleasure in ostentatious prayer and thus love it. "Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes, and love (phileo - present tense) respectful greetings in the market places, and chief seats in the synagogues, and places of honor at banquets" (Lu 20:46) "Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and the immoral persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves (phileo - present tense) and practices lying." (see note Revelation 22:15) Those who find pleasure in a lie and thus love it, will go to a lost eternity. Wuest helps us understand the distinction writing that if John had used phileo instead of agapao... "he would have been expressing a human fondness for her, which would have been a grave mistake in a man of John’s position in the Church. He tells her that he loves her and her children with a Christian love, a love produced in his heart by the Holy Spirit, a pure, self-sacrificial, heavenly, non-human love devoid of any sex relation. It is as if he said, “I love you in the Lord.” But he is not satisfied with thus carefully delineating his love for her by the use of agapao. He adds the qualifying phrase, “in the truth.” It is locative of sphere. That is, the love with which he loved this well-known woman of position in the Church was circumscribed by the truth as it is in Christ Jesus. It was in connection with the Word of God that he loved her. His love for her had to do with Christian relationships in the Church life and work. The example of John in all this could well be emulated in these days. He uses the pronoun in an intensive way, “whom, as for myself, I love in the sphere of the truth.” But not only does John especially love her, but all those who have come to know experientially the truth and as a result have it in their knowledge, also love her." There is another distinction we must be careful to note, and that is that agapao is love that has ethical qualities about it, obligations, responsibilities, where phileo is a non-ethical love, making no ethical demands upon the person loving. As a rule, these distinctions are rigidly adhered to in the use of these words in the New Testament. (Wuest, K. S. Wuest's Word Studies from the Greek New Testament: Eerdmans or Logos) Paul writes... If anyone does not love (phileo) the Lord, let him be accursed. Maranatha. (1Cor 16:22) (the) GRACE BE WITH YOU ALL: te charis meta panton humon: (1Corinthians 16:23; Ephesians 6:24; 2Timothy 4:22; Hebrews 13:25) 1Cor 16:23 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you. Eph 6:24 Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with a love incorruptible. 2Tim 4:22 The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you. Heb 13:25 Grace be with you all. Grace be with you all - Paul often used grace as the spiritual "bookends" of his letters (Titus 1:4). There is no verb "be" but that has been added. Literally it is "Grace with you" where the word with is "meta" which has the basic sense of "in the midst of" (Friberg). Grace, God's marvelous grace, in your midst, always available when you need it (which is all the time). Jesus used "meta" to encourage His disciples to finish the task (Mt 28:18-19) reminding them "lo, I am with (meta) you always, even to the end of the age." The idea He was conveying was that He would always be with them to help them. And how is He with us today? While in one sense He is in us, He has sent us His Spirit (Spirit of Christ) who indwells us as our ever ready "Enabler." This is good news for all subsequent disciples (us)! Spurgeon writes... May that final benediction drop like the dew upon this whole company! “Grace be with you all. Amen "Go to the page below to access live links related to the material on this page - these links include Scriptures (which can be read in context), Scripture pop-ups on mouse over, and a variety of related resources such as Bible dictionary articles, commentaries, sermon notes and theological journal articles related to the topic under discussion." http://www.preceptaustin.org/titus_39-15.htm#love