Singleness

Let's read in the book of 1st Corinthians, please. Chapter 7. 1st Corinthians 7. And we're going to read about 15 verses here. Starting at verse 25.

Now, just to give you a warning of what we're going to look at. This is for the single people today. Or, the people that used to be single.

So, the primary message I have today for this afternoon. Is for what God could do with you. While you're in the transition between growing up.

And when you're married. Now, for some of you, you've already been married and you're quite young. Others, you're still moving along.

But the message here today is, what would God do with your life. If you weren't married. And so, we're going to read 15 verses.

And it's maybe a portion of the Bible that we don't read very often. And so, when you read it today with me. You're going to say, boy, these are a lot of strange words.

So, we're going to make one point. And then go try to interpret what these verses mean to us. And so that way, when you're reading along in your own personal readings.

You might say, oh, I think I remember what Chad told us. What some of these phrases might mean to us. It might be applied to us.

Okay. So, let's start at verse 25. And we'll read to the end of the chapter.

It says, Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment of the Lord. Yet I give my judgment as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I suppose, therefore, that this is good for the present distress.

I say that it is good for a man so to be. Art thou bound to a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife.

And, or but, and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned. And if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh.

But I spare you. But this I say, brethren. The time is short.

It remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none. And they that weep as though they wept not. And they that rejoice as though they rejoiced not.

And they that buy as though they possessed not. And they that use this world as not abusing it. For the fashion of this world passeth away.

But I would have you without carefulness. Or without worry. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord.

But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord.

That she may be both holy in body and spirit. But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. For this I speak for your own profit.

Not that I may cast a snare upon you. But for that which is comely. That ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

But if any man think that he behaved himself uncomely toward his virgin. If she pass the flower of her age and need so require. Let him do what he will.

He sinneth not. Let them marry. Nevertheless, he that standeth steadfast in his heart.

Having no necessity but hath power over his own will. And hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then, he that giveth her in marriage, doeth well.

But he that giveth not in marriage, doeth better. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth. But if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will, only in the Lord.

But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment. And I think also that I am the Spirit of God. Now you know in Corinthians, Paul usually brings up a subject and then he develops it and moves on to the next subject.

And so we have the verse 25 that says now concerning virgins or concerning single people. This is what the Lord would command. Now, what do you hear when somebody says unmarried? Some of you say, oh that means you're single.

That means you're free. You have more liberty. And others of you say, oh that means I'm alone.

It means things didn't work out. Or I'm not worthy. Or I don't feel loved.

Or it can be a lonely, a painful subject. And so that's why I want to bring it out today. Because I'm not going to give you the advice of what I think.

Or perhaps maybe what your father would tell you. But let's see what the Word of God says. Why does God call some people into this single life? And what should they do? What should their attitude be then? Finding themselves alone.

Or finding themselves free, we might say. So let's just put this one point in our minds. That you should let God develop experiences in your life.

Spiritually develop. Before you get romantically linked with another person. Let me put it another way.

Let's put it in a commandment. Thou shalt get a life before you link your life with somebody else. Now that's not my quote.

That comes directly from a book. I have a book called The Ten Commandments of Dating. By a man named Samuel Adams.

Good book. But he doesn't use much scripture. But he puts a very good title on what I'm trying to tell you today.

Thou shalt get a life before you begin romantically dating. What's he trying to say? That what you bring to your marriage later better be a mature life. And if you never get married.

That you don't want to spend your days looking for something that never happens. We're in a very short time, he says. We should use our time in devotion to the Lord.

If we find ourselves single. Okay, so that's the main point. I just have one.

There's not three points in my message. Just one. Thou shalt get a life.

Spiritually speaking. Before you get involved in romantic dating. Now let's take a look at each of these verses here.

And I'll spend about one minute on each verse. And explain maybe some of the terms that are there. So that you can see what God says about being single.

First of all, let's go back to verse 25. And we'll just go verse by verse. First of all, it says, I give no commandment.

So he says, Concerning virgins, I give no commandment of the Lord. Right away you wonder, Wow, how do I interpret that? Is this not inspired? Is this dear old Paul writing his opinion? Or is this something that is inspired? And it is the Scriptures. Well, first of all, you would have to interpret this.

It's written in the Scriptures, right? It's from God. So then why Paul says this? Well, he says, The Lord didn't say anything about this. And so you can put the word Jesus in there.

If you read through Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. And you won't find anything about him saying, the Lord Jesus saying these words. And so he says, The Lord didn't say this.

But I do. Now is Paul inspired? Of course he is. He's an apostle.

He's getting direct revelation from heaven. And so this verse says, This is the word of God. But it doesn't come from Jesus.

It comes through me. And then he says, In verse 26, he goes on. He says, We're going to say that it is better for some people to remain single.

For what? He says, for this present distress. Now what is that? Present distress. Is that the distress of being single? No, it's the distress of the time where Paul lived.

They were getting ready to be persecuted. All people around them were pressing against them. They were not popular.

The Jews were against them. There was Rome. There was all kinds of issues.

And he says, It may be better. It may be better to be a single person in this time of distress. Well, did we leave all the distress in Paul's day? Or do we still have issues today? Yes, there's always difficulties.

Some have been more tragic than others. And we live in a very peaceful time. But still, the point is, with distress, it is sometimes easier to have a single lifestyle.

So let's go to verse 27. And he says, We'll ask this question. He says, Are you bound to a wife? Don't seek to be loosed.

And are you loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. So what is this bound and this loosed business? Some people say, Ah, that means bound. You committed yourself.

You're in a marriage. And then loosed means you got divorced. Or she died.

But I think the idea is that if you're bound by the law, it means you're committed to something. You're held to it. And if you're loosed, it doesn't apply to you.

Let's take an example. Let's say I'm a doctor. And I'm working in a hospital.

And I come into a situation. And I say, As a doctor, I am bound. I am bound to do something.

I am bound to protect this patient. I am bound to do ethical things. I am bound.

But I'm not a doctor. So if I were in a hospital and somebody's dying in front of me, I'm not bound. I'm loosed.

I'm loosed from that law. It doesn't apply to me. I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm not obligated. And so the idea there is you find yourself single, don't get so upset about it that that's the only thing that consumes your mind. You find yourself married, don't try to get rid of her.

My goodness. Take your responsibility serious. Be a husband.

Be a wife. But he says, don't make that your preoccupation. If you find yourself single, live single.

If you find yourself married, then be a good spouse. That's the idea. And so he says, don't... Here's another point I guess you could say.

Don't let the issue of singleness or being married distract you from the main goal. There's two verses in here that we could call the main goal. I'll just give you a quiz, okay? It's a really easy quiz.

One question. What do you think? The main goal for a Christian. Here's answer A. Okay, you're gonna choose answer A. Answer A is, I am a Christian so that I can be fulfilled, can be happy, that God completes me.

Or is the answer, letter B. The letter B is, I am to please the Lord. First of all, am I to be completely fulfilled? My dreams are fulfilled? I'm happy? Or that I would please the Lord? Let's find the answer here. Let's look in the book.

Verse 32. What's it say? How's it say at the end of the verse 32? Read it. Can you see those last few words there? Look down.

Verse 32, the end of it. What's it say? How he may please the Lord. Okay, there's your answer, right? 35.

Let's look at the answer again. Look at verse 35. It says at the end of it.

Read it. That he may attend upon the Lord without distraction. So why would a man sit down and write in the 10 commandments of dating, why would this Mr. Adams, why would he pick commandment number one and he says, before you begin romantically dating? Why would he say that? He's saying that the point of Christian living is to serve the Lord.

And if you're spending, let's say a year, two, five years, ten years of your life worried about, it's not happening to me, I'm not finding the right person for me, I'm stuck, I'm alone. You miss a huge opportunity to serve the Lord. Let's keep moving.

Let's go back to verse number 28. Remember, we're moving verse by verse here. It says here in verse 28, he says, if thou marry, thou hast not sinned.

That's good. So if you do choose to be married, you're fine. There's no issue there.

But then it says at the end of the verse, nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh. There's a cost to be married, right? Trouble. Does that mean you get in fights? Conflict? No, it's not that kind of trouble.

The trouble comes from the outside. And so like he says, we're in persecution. And it might be easy to run and hide when somebody's chasing you if you're alone.

What if they capture your wife? What if you've got kids? You're gonna have issues. What happens if you find yourself in our day and all of a sudden, there's a huge responsibility dumped on you. You're the husband.

You're the father. And you lose your job and you've got responsibilities that are depending on you. And he says, you will have trouble.

There is. There is a cost. You will lose all your liberty when you are married.

You just can't say, hi, it's Friday night. Nah, we're not gonna get together. Okay, let's just split, okay? You can do that with your friends.

Better not do that with your wife. Or how about when you've got a two-year-old and you get the phone calls, hey, we're gonna play some basketball at the park. And you say, I'm stuck, okay? So there better be some maturity.

There better be somebody that's ready to take that responsibility, because you lose your liberty. That's a good thing, though. Because when you're ready for it, there's nothing quite as nice as an intimate relationship where two lives become so intertwined that they're one flesh.

But if you're not ready for it, you will have trouble. Verse 29, let's move on. It says here, it says, here's another reason.

It says, I say this, brethren, that the time is short. And then he says, it should be like those that have wives live as they didn't. Those that weep as they don't weep.

And those that rejoice as they don't. And those that buy as they don't possess. And those that use the world but they don't abuse it.

What's he trying to say? He's trying to say, listen, let's keep our eye on the ball. Keep your focus here. Because if you're consumed about your lack of date, or you're consumed about the woman that you're pursuing, and you forget the real purpose, the time passes.

So kind of the idea of keep your eye on the ball. What are you here for? You're here to serve the Lord. You're here to know Him, obey Him, and to glorify Him.

And the time is short. Keep your eye on the ball. I still remember the summer of my between 6th grade and 7th grade.

I joined the little league baseball team and we went to the park. We all got a blue t-shirt and we practiced a bit. And I think we had four, maybe five games that summer.

And I found out pretty quick that Sean and Chad, the other kids in my classroom, they've been playing all their life. Man, they can throw fast. And I can remember my batting average.

You know what it was? It was zero. Zero, zero, zero. It was really easy to calculate.

I was really proud of myself because in one game, I got a foul ball. Somehow I managed to, with blind luck, I ticked the ball and it went. You know what was wrong? Is that, you know, when I played baseball with my dad in the backyard, he was giving me these nice underhand pitches.

And man, he could hit those. But I don't know where this kid came from. He was about six foot tall and he already had a beard.

And he was throwing balls that were going 80 miles an hour. They went past. I couldn't see them.

And so I guess you might say, this verse kind of reminds me, keep your eye on the ball. The time is short. Hey, the pitch is coming.

And if you don't, you're not watching that ball. This little skinny bat's going to miss it. And could we do that with our life? We wake up one morning and you say, how did I get to be 35 years old and I still haven't done anything for God? The ball is coming.

The time is short. Don't strike out. Don't miss it.

You got to connect. He says, you got a wife? Don't make it your whole life. Are you rejoicing? That's not the whole point of life.

Are you sorrowing? It's not forever. Do you buy things? You can have them but don't let them possess you. Can you use this world? Yes, you can.

But don't abuse it. Oh, we get it all wrong, don't we? Something goes wrong and sorrow hits us. That's the only thing that we can think of.

It's how sad we are. Or we find some kind of a pleasure or some kind of a hobby and we plunge into it and it's our joy in our life and we forget about God. Or we have the idea, I got to get a wife.

I got to have a girl. And we miss out on what God really wanted us to do. Or it says like here, those that use the world and don't abuse it.

Oh, we abuse the world, don't we? Our next dream is the new car. The next dream is the bigger house. The next dream is the better job.

We're abusing the world. It's owning us. Oh, you can have a house.

You can have a car. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. But that's number two priority.

So he says the time is short. Keep your eye on the ball. Let's look at the next section.

In here in verse 32. And then he says here, here's something else that you should keep in mind about singleness. Is don't let anything displace your devotion for Christ.

That's really what your goal is in life. Don't let anything displace it. He says like a married person has more cares.

A married person has more things to worry about and might not have as much time as you do. So that's what he's basically saying in the next few verses, 32 through 35. So verse 32, he says, I would have you without carefulness.

Sounds nice. I don't have to worry. I don't have to be careful.

I could be reckless. No, that's not the idea. Carefulness is, I don't want you to be burdened down with preoccupations.

I don't want you to be overly worried, okay? Don't want to dump too much on you. That's the idea. Why? And he gives two verses here that says in verse 33, A woman, he that is married, careth for the things that are of the world and how he may please his wife.

You might misinterpret that verse too. You might say, Ha ha, look at there, Shad. It says that married men are worldly.

Is that so? You might say so if you look at it. The idea is that married people have to worry about worldly things, physical things. Paycheck, rent, clothing, job.

Good things. But those are worldly things. And you have to worry about those because you've got a wife to take care of.

Okay? It's a legitimate care. And if you don't, the Bible says that you're worse than an infantile if you don't take care of them. So it's a responsibility you have to do.

But if you're not married, then all that burden is lifted. You don't have to worry about those things. And so the idea is being too busy, occupied, to have any time left for serving God.

And then verse 34 is another curious one. It's talking about the women now. It says, The unmarried woman careth for the things of the world that she may be holy, both in body and spirit.

So does that mean that unmarried women are more holy than the married women? Ah, you can see the picture in your mind. We've got some nuns here. And we've got some monks over here.

And they've decided never to marry. We are going to devote all of our time to God. Are they more holy? Well, I think that's probably the misinterpretation of the verse, because in 1 Timothy 4 we read that that's a doctrine of demons, even, to forbid to marry.

So that's not what Paul is trying to say. The idea is that if a person is holy, they are more, I guess, they're more dedicated. They have a single purpose.

Our smartphones used to be phones with memory in them, so you didn't have to remember everybody's name. Now what do our phones do? Well, now you can play Angry Birds. Now you can check your email.

Now you can read your Bible. You can sing from your hymn book. You can do a million things with your phone.

Back in the old days, your phone was to talk to somebody. It had one purpose. That's the idea of what holiness is.

You are separated. You are dedicated. You have one thing that you need to worry about.

And that's the idea of this holiness that he says. A woman being holy means separated, dedicated. Does that mean that a single person is automatically dedicated to God? Of course it doesn't.

Paul just assumes that everyone, everyone that's saved wants to dedicate their life. They want to use it for God. And I think everybody here has that desire resting somewhere in your heart.

I want to be for God. Lord, maybe that's our prayer we should be praying right now. Lord, here I am.

I find myself single. And I admit that I'm somewhat disappointed. But let me turn this supposed tragedy into something that is holy for you.

That would be a good prayer. Dedicated to the Lord. Verse 35.

Let's keep going. It says, I say this not to cast a snare upon you. And so like I said, this isn't a rule.

This isn't something that is supposed to trap you. You're not supposed to feel boxed in. And you say, Oh my goodness, I really like this guy.

And we're really good friends. But the Bible says I should be single. No, you can be fine.

You can be married. There's not an issue there. It's not a trap.

It's not a jail. It's a privilege. And so he says, Don't be trapped.

Let's take just a few minutes to finish the chapter. It says here in the last few sections, another difficult part to interpret. What is he talking about here in verse 36, 37, 38? It says, A man that think he behaveth himself uncalmly toward his virgin, if she pass the... Who is he talking about? Well, if you read it in the King James Version, it's the traditional view they call that.

This is talking about a man. This is a father likely. And he's responsible for his children, especially for his daughter.

Is he going to let her get married? Or no? And so now we got a Christian father, and he's got a daughter who's a Christian, and he's faced with this issue. Am I going to let her get married? Or no? The idea here is, yeah, if she wants to get married, then let her get married. And if she's happy with not being married, then just look at the previous verses I've just mentioned.

She may have better opportunities to serve the Lord if she's not. So that's the one view. And then if you look in some of the modern versions of the Bible, you might read the ESV or the NIV, you'll find that it says there that it's talking about the betrothed.

So it's like the bridegroom. And he's in a situation now where he's engaged to the girl, and all of a sudden he thinks, Boy, am I going to be useful for the Lord as a married man? Should I marry her? Should I not? Maybe that's the interpretation. And obviously, since there's different views on that, it's maybe a difficult portion to interpret.

And so I'm not going to try to tell you that I know what the proper interpretation is, but let's just go with what we have here, the traditional view about fathers. Fathers looking at their daughter. What should they tell their daughter? What should they do? Well, we'll just read it here in verse 38.

He that giveth her in marriage doeth well. It's a good thing. It's a good thing to be married.

He that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. How so? Maybe this person can be more dedicated to the Lord. Lastly, let's take a look at the last two verses.

These two verses here, let's just put this phrase over it. If you are married, don't second guess your decision. Okay? You're married, you're bound.

Okay? You are committed. What God has joined together, let not man put asunder. You're bound.

Now, there's some people that would say, you know, we just got married. I thought she was really going to be a good wife. I mean, we got along well, and now we're fighting.

I made a mistake. I thought God had somebody in mind, and I thought it was her. And I'm not so sure.

And I start looking around. Well, you know, there's still single people here. And what would happen? Should we like split? And I can try again.

Maybe I'll find the right person the next time. Stop looking for greener pastures if you've already chosen your wife, is what He's saying. You are committed.

Put more focus into improving and the commitment of your own relationship that you've already formed, because there is no perfect person for you. There is no perfect person on this earth. Anyone that you choose will have the same flesh in them that you have in yourself.

You're going to learn how to deal with that. You're going to learn how to solve conflict. You're going to learn how to live together as two Christians, two forgiven people, but two imperfect people.

So don't second guess your decision. You say, how do I know if I married the right one? You married the right one, because you chose her, and now she's yours. So it's good to choose with wisdom.

That's a whole other subject, and we'll just leave it with that. How are you supposed to make that choice? You can marry, it says, whom she will. You get to choose, but you better choose well.

He says, choose a person in the Lord. Obviously that means you choose somebody that's saved. But he doesn't just say, choose somebody that's in Christ.

That's obviously somebody that's saved. He says, choose somebody in the Lord. Somebody that's following the Lord.

Somebody that's perhaps a better Christian than you are. Somebody that you admire. Somebody that you can say, you know, I think we'll be on the same wavelength.

We're in the same direction. We are together. So, there's the message, and what I would like you to do is leave you a little homework.

1 Corinthians 7. Go back and read, and see what God has to say for you. As a single person, and remember the rule. Thou shalt get a life.

Thou shalt develop spiritual good experiences before you're involved with another person.