The Right Fear

Every crime I had done broke this holy and sacred heart of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. When I realized what I have done to the very heart that loved me to death, to the very heart that sacrificed wholeheartedly for my salvation and redemption, when I realized the magnitude of my offense, I cried, I mourned for every moment I was disobedient to Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I mourned, I cried, Lord forgive me for every time I made a mistake and broke your heart.

As a true Christian, as a true Christian, I am not afraid of the Lord Jesus, I have fear of the Lord. I have fear of the Lord, I am not afraid of him. Why? Because when I realized how much the Lord Jesus loves me, how can you be afraid with the one who loved you more than himself? How can you be afraid of the one who loved you and died for you on the cross? You cannot be afraid of him, but I have the fear of him.

What is the difference between afraid and fear? The following, if I'm afraid of the Lord, meaning if I make a mistake, I'm afraid he's going to chop my head and throw me in hell. This is being afraid of the Lord. But what is fear of the Lord? Is now I fear I don't make a mistake, because the last thing I want to do is break his heart.

This is my fear. I'm not afraid of you Lord, I am fearing not to hurt you, because I know you love me, I know you didn't come to judge me, I know you came to save me and redeem me, but my fear now, I don't want to make you cry, I don't want to upset you and break your heart anymore. You don't deserve it Lord, for the love you've showed me, shame on me that I really broke your heart.

That's why I mourned, when the Holy Spirit enlightened me, awakened me, opened my spiritual eye for the first time, I cried, because I realized by the grace of the Lord, through the power of the Holy Spirit and by the love of God the Father, I've realized how much I really hurt my Jesus. The most painful, the most painful suffering the Lord endured until this moment, was not the crown of thorns, was not the nails in his hands and his feet, was not the whipping and the shredding of his pure body, was not that spear that went in his side. All these wounds after a little while can heal and the pain can disappear, but there is one wound cannot heal ever, the wound of the one you love the most and then he returns that love with a knife in the heart.

When the one you love the most turns around and hurts you the most, that wound cannot heal. Jesus loves us and we are loving satan. Jesus calling us and we are going to satan.

Jesus begging us and we are begging satan. Jesus saying come to my holy church and we are going to satan's house. Jesus says come to the light and we're going to darkness.

Jesus says come and praise me and we go and swear and use foul language. Jesus comes and says let me hug you. Instead we hug satan and the world.

It's extremely painful, unbearable when you love the most and the one you love misunderstands you completely and totally. This is unbearable. So the holy spirit made me realize for the first time how much I have hurt my lord.

I started mourning, crying for every time I upset your lord except my tears. This is why my beloveds, tears never lie. You know why? Because tears we have no control over.

I can control the way I speak. I can fabricate the words. I can twist them and I can cover them with sweetness but the tears never lie.

You know why? Because the tears come from the depth of your being. They come from the well of your heart. The water has to come from a source.

Those tears come from the heart not from the lips. That's why they never lie because the heart never lies. The lips do.

Every time we cry straight after that we feel very comfortable. They are a way of relief. I am distressed.

I'm in agony. I'm feeling that I'm suffocating and choking. I can't take it anymore.

I break down and I start crying like a baby. The moment I finish crying a huge relief engulfs me. Why? Because whatever I was thinking of which led me to those tears I was genuine about.

I wasn't acting. See when we act tears can't come but when we are genuine tears naturally come and when they come we can't stop them because now I'm genuinely being me. So when I came to the Lord genuinely for the first time in my life truly confessing that I'm a sinner.

I am feeling that I'm a sinner. I am seeing that I'm a sinner. I am living that I'm a sinner.

I began crying the moment I came into that genuine stage. Tears started coming from the depth of my heart and the church fathers say the tears of the eyes are the second baptismal font. Just like we get baptized through the sacrament of holy baptism through that baptismal font for the remission of sin and for a new life in Christ so as the tears of the eye are the second baptismal font that give me a new beginning with the Lord Jesus.

With the tears of the eye the water of the eye I wash my sins which I had just confessed with tears coming down of my eyes. The Lord wiped me clean right out because he saw my tears. In the song of Solomon which we're probably going to do one of these days we'll do a commentary on it stunning eight chapters it will take us about eight months or the way I'm going will be probably a year and a half.

In the song of Solomon the Lord Jesus the heavenly groom is talking to the bride he's just about to come and strike her because she is naughty his girl is naughty the church is naughty he is begging the church listen to your man listen to your heavenly groom she is listening to satan more than her heavenly groom he is angry he is offended he is upset with the church he comes to strike her down and then he sees her crying. Look in the song of Solomon he says please keep your eyes away from me because they have overcome me please turn your eyes away from me because they have overcome me if you want to overcome God the only way you can overcome him is with tears gushing down your eyes he can't handle it a moment ago so angry he was the moment he sees you cry so tender he becomes he's all yours he's all yours he's all yours he will come running faster than the speed of light he will not only take you but he will put you in the core of his heart and he will forget everything wrong you've done against him just by seeing tears coming down from your eyes the only thing that overcomes me I Jesus Christ of Nazareth his eyes that are shedding tears I can't handle it they break me I melt like a candle when I see you crying my beloved Jesus Christ of Nazareth blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted I cried for the sins I committed against you my sweetheart Jesus Christ of Nazareth I cried seeking your mercy your forgiveness and the Lord says you cried and you mourned but I will comfort you blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted who's going to comfort me well the Lord Jesus said it I will send you the helper I will send you the comforter from my father in my name he will come to comfort you the Holy Spirit will comfort those who mourn their sins that's why after you cry you receive comfort God now is saying I'm with you do not fear for the Lord is ever near I'm with you so now I came to comfort you with my Holy Spirit by my Holy Spirit because you confessed your sins you will be comforted by your God by your Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth first I came poor empty the Lord filled me see if you go to the Lord full and ask for his help he's going to say well you came full what do you expect from me I can't help you you already came a full glass you need to come an empty glass so I can fill you well you are coming seeking my counsel seeking my help how can I help a full glass you need to come empty poor so that I can enrich you with my richness come empty so I can fill you up with my Holy Spirit so that you can realize your mistakes and start mourning on them in order for me to comfort you and after you confess your sins and genuinely admitted that you have sinned against God then you will find comfort those restless nights are gone the fear is gone the chaos is gone the confusion is gone the brokenness is gone the emptiness is gone the darkness is gone you are renewed renewed comforted by the Holy Spirit the third person and the Holy Trinity all glory to the triumvirate