God's Design for Marriage

It's better to be safe than sorry. Never ever rush into your marital relationship. It's a commitment.

And it requires mature people to commit to it. I remember one day, may God bless her soul, wherever she is, this gorgeous young girl came running to me, father, crying, she broke my heart. She was 16 at the time, crying.

Father, my boyfriend just left me. I said, oops, oh, I'm so sorry, Habibi. Why, what happened? I don't know, father, he woke up one day, he just sent me a message, he said, that's it, it's finished between us.

I said, how old are you? Father, I'm 16. I said, ow, not wow. I said, ow.

I said, how long have you known each other? She said, father, four years. I'm not good at mathematics. I started deducting.

Four minus, 16 minus four. 15, 14, 13. So you were little baby when you got to know him.

You were not dummy with milk. Four years, he broke your heart. He is now father, mature, 16.

I said, Habibi, that's what happens. When you choose someone like that so early, so prematurely, you'll definitely hurt yourself. There is no two ways about it.

So many people have gone into this kind of relationships, and they came out of it broken, hearted and shattered. The Lord Jesus came to be the groom. And he said, you know what, I came to choose my bride.

And he called the bride his church. My church is my bride. And it's an enormous commitment.

And it cost him his life. Like someone said, it is more difficult. Now listen to this, I like this statement.

Because marriage is dying all your life. It's not just one moment. It's every moment, all moments of your life.

You must die to make it happen. What is death? No longer in existence. When somebody dies, passes away, biological death, when the spirit leaves the body, that person, I can't see them anymore physically.

They don't exist anymore. So what is death? I don't exist anymore. Biblically speaking, self-denial.

What is death? Self-denial. When Jesus died on the cross, he denied himself so that his bride can be glorified. So that his bride can be glorified.

There is a verse in the book of Proverbs. Now the book of Proverbs is referred to King Solomon. It is a book of wisdom.

It teaches you on how to live wise on earth. It is the last chapter. Chapter 31 and verse 10.

Proverbs 31.10 King Solomon says, A virtuous woman, who can find? A virtuous woman, who can find? He's asking. For her price exceeds the precious pearls. For her price exceeds the precious pearls.

This verse 10, we can divide into two parts. The first part is for the man, and the second part is for the woman. King Solomon, through his wisdom, is giving you an advice on marital relationships.

He is saying to the guy, My man, when you are looking for a girl to marry, look for a girl that is virtuous. Search for a girl that is virtuous. A virtuous woman, who can find? Now the word virtuous, take it out and put the word fear in the Lord.

A girl that is fearing the Lord, her price exceeds the precious pearls. Guys, if you are serious, because what you are about to enter, so called marriage, what you are about to enter in, is not a joke, is not a holiday, is not fun, it is a serious matter. So you better be serious about it, otherwise you will get the shock of your life forever.

So he is saying, when you are looking for a girl to marry, look for the girl that loves Jesus Christ. Fearing the Lord, meaning loving the Lord. He said, because if you can find a girl that loves Jesus, do not be afraid of her.

Because the girl that loves Jesus can never hurt you. Because the Jesus that is in her heart, will make sure she is always loyal and nice to you. So don't look for a girl that is blonde, six foot, Mariah Carey type of figure, you know Celine Dion, blue eyes, I don't know what, the best looking, she had just ironed her face, plastic surgery.

Don't look for that. If you are looking for an external beauty, well guess what, after marriage and after having kids, Ouch! That external beauty is temporal. But look for the inner beauty.

Look at her heart. Who is dwelling in that heart? That's what matters. That's what gonna last.

I'm not saying that beauty externally is not important. No, I don't want you to marry someone that every time you wake up you are startled. I don't want you to have a heart attack.

But at the same time, don't make it your priority for that external beauty to be a must. No. Look for the inner beauty more than the external.

Because what's inside is forever. What's outside is only for a short time. And if you loved her, or if your love for her was based on her outer looks, once she loses that, you will lose your love for her.

Love her for her heart. For Jesus is in it. And he's saying to the girl, Girl, when you're looking for a guy, don't look for a guy that drives a Mercedes Benz and has nothing upstairs.

Don't look for the guy that is rich. Don't look for the guy that is handsome, muscly, tattoos. Ouch! Don't look for outer looks.

Look for a guy that sees you in his eyes more precious than the pearl. Look for the guy that sees you in his eyes more precious than a pearl. Now, this was in the Old Testament.

Now, when we come to the New Testament, we find the answer to the Old Testament. Saint Paul gives an answer to King Solomon. He said, What is more precious than the pearl? He said, One thing only.

And Saint Paul talked about Jesus. He said, He, meaning Jesus, He who has purchased us, not with silver, not with gold, not with precious pearls, but with His own blood. So, what is more expensive than pearl? Blood.

What is blood? Your life. He says, Look for a guy that is willing to put his life on the line for you. And look for a girl that loves Jesus.

And look for a guy that is willing to die for you. Sacrifice for you. That's a solid foundation to a successful marriage.

It is more difficult to live a life of death than to die in one moment. Oh, by the way, marriage is very well known to make things worse, not better. If you think that you are having difficulty changing your man prior to marriage, don't even dream about changing him after marriage.

Forget about Khabibi. If you cannot change the girl prior to marriage, forget about changing her after marriage. Because marriage is very well known to make things worse, not better.

To make things more complex, not simple. See, before, I was out with my fiance, my man, and I was with my friends and we were having a nice social, you know, time together at this beautiful cafe overlooking the Darling Hub. And then, my man decided to say a joke.

And when he said the joke, all those hundred people that were sitting there, and nobody laughed except me. His Juliet. And I said, look at my Romeo, so sweet, he is so beautiful, look at him.

He is like honey. This joke is so funny. Nobody laughed.

After marriage, the same man, Romeo, tells you the joke at home. And then Juliet says, next time you say this joke, I will nail you on the wall. Marriage changes things.

Prior to marriage, when I used to go and get my girl from her parents' house, I'm all dressed up nicely and a nice rose here. And I go with a beautiful bunch of roses in my hand and a beautiful knock at the door and then the father opens the door. He says, yes, my son, what do you want? I say, sorry, father, I came just to take your daughter, my sweetheart, for a nice drive.

So she will come out and I'm flying and I'm shaking and I'm all over the place, I'm lost, confused. And then I'll go and open the door for my sweetheart. Please come on in.

And I slam it like a Rolls Royce, automatic slamming door. And then I go on the other side, before putting the seatbelt on, I say, how is my love this evening? Where are we going, honey? It's a surprise, my love. I want to surprise you.

So they drive. After marriage. Come on, woman, hurry up.

You're always late, as usual. I've been finished for an hour. How many hours are you going to look into that mirror? Aren't you sick and tired of your face? And then they come out.

No red carpet. No roses. No Mercedes Benz.

Nothing. He takes off. After five minutes, his phone rings while he's driving.

It's his wife on the line. Honey, you drove without me. I'm too far now.

I can't come back. Maybe next time we go out together. Marriage is known to make things worse.

It's a commitment. If there is no self-sacrifice, if there is no dying to oneself every single day, marriage cannot continue. You will encounter problems, obstacles, no matter what you do or what you say.

Because marriage is the thing in life that you can never master fully. A time will come, whether you like it or not, whether you are the husband or the wife. This is for both of you.

A time will come, you must say, Okay, honey, I'm sorry. You have to.