Need for physical intimacy

Now I want to do a couple of things tonight. One is a bit of review and then also a few things that I haven't touched on yet this week that I went through my outlines today and thought they would be worth talking about. But we're going to go first of all to Genesis chapter 4 again because a question has been asked, a good question, and we'll read Genesis 4 first of all and then I'm going to read two other places and try to briefly address the issue of the question.

So Genesis chapter 4 and verse 1. And Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived and and bear Cain and said I have gotten a man from the Lord. Now I mentioned previously that the word know is a simple Hebrew word. It's nothing outstanding or unusual but it has the concept here of disclosure.

And this is a subject that a person has to be careful as to how they handle of course carefully and when it comes to moral issues. But some places I have gone the younger believers seem to be exposing more of their bodies than they used to. The sisters I'm thinking of and again I want to be careful how I say this.

This is not the case here so I'm thankful for that. But the thing is that when it comes to exposure that should only be done to someone that you know very very well which is a husband in the case of a woman and a wife. And that's what the idea of knowing and it comes through gradual appreciation of one another to the point that when two people are together by themselves there is no shame connected with the exposure of their bodies.

And little by little as two people get to know one another better then there is more freedom in that area. And that's why I mentioned I think last night that you don't want to wait unnecessarily long if there's a love for one another because that familiarity then can lead to problems before the marriage takes place. Now that's not the issue of the question but I'm just laying a foundation for that.

The question which is a explanatory in some ways so I'm not going to read it all but is the idea of how that sometimes as people are married longer the sexual relationship diminishes and can be a problem for one partner or the other who feels the need of it because we are partly emotional but we're partly biological too. And so what do we do about that? Well let me read first of all in Hebrews 13. We're not going to really comment on it much there but that will take us to another place where we can comment more about the issue of relationship physically between a man and a woman.

So Hebrews chapter 13 and reading at verse 4 it says marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Now all I want to draw from this is in some circles and I can't name them but just knowing when I did spend more time thinking about this problem I knew that there were people and they believe that a sexual relationship is sinful and it is simply not. When two people love one another are married to one another their relationship is expressed in that unity and here it is saying the bed is undefiled.

Really it would, where it's denied that it's all right it would be really linked with what was true in the New Testament stoicism and Epicureanism and the idea of the Gnostic belief that the body is sinful. Colossians particularly and 1st John so we don't need to deal with that because that's a theological aspect of it but it is a proper not only scriptural but also an approved relationship on the part of God. Now 1st Corinthians 7, keep in mind in verse 1 that Paul when he was writing to the Christians they were actually they had written him a letter and they had said certain things and he is addressing those things and for myself I haven't looked up what others say about this but the latter part of 1st Corinthians 7 verse 1 I believe is a quotation from their letter.

I don't believe Paul is saying this because that would fit in with the Gnosticism with the stoicism and the Epicureanism. He says now concerning the things whereof you wrote me and I just noticed it in my Bible I've never noticed this before there's a colon and usually when you have a colon it's the idea okay this is what this is an explanation of what you said and so they said I believe it is good for a man not to touch a woman and see keep in mind these were largely Greek believers and they likely had the influence of Gnosticism behind them and so they're saying isn't it a good idea that a man doesn't touch a woman well Paul is not really saying that he's saying that's what they're saying and he says nevertheless to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband. Now in verses 3, 4, and 5 he is talking about the sexual relationship.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence what is her due and likewise also the wife to the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife. What it's really saying here that when it comes to the union between a man and a woman he has to recognize that his body is not his own that in a way it belongs to his wife and vice versa so that he cannot and she cannot hold back from the needs of the other partner and so verse 5 goes on to explain that.

Defraud ye not one another except it be with consent for a time. So he's saying don't rob the other person of their particular need unless for a time and it says goes on to explain that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come again together again in the union sexually, physically that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency, your inability to contain yourself and therefore be tempted to have your needs met with someone else which would be adultery or fornication. So what it's stating here is actually wrong to withhold.

It's not good to withhold so that's the basic teaching of scripture and the problem is that I have known some that have used withholding in the relationship as a weapon. If you don't do what I say you can just do what you like kind of attitude it really does happen when they're not a good relationship between a husband and wife there's conflict that kind of thing. The other difficulty is that as people get older there are physical changes that take place in the body and sometimes beyond our control our bodies just don't function the way they used to or in some cases there are physical there's physical pain connected with a union and so there has to be real consideration but going back to Genesis chapter 3 and when I'm talking about this I I think of so many different angles and we can't touch all those but the main thing between a man and a woman a husband and a wife is that they deeply love one another and when they deeply love one another they will give everything they can to one another even in the physical union and if it's not possible it's just not possible and that comes sometimes that it's not but if people work on the love relationship the deep honoring and caring for one another and respecting one another and out doing one another in trying to give everything they can to the other person whatever problems there are they will tend to take care of themselves it may be that a couple may never in their later years or even earlier years because of surgeries or things ever have much of a physical union and it can be frustrating but at the same time there has to be that understanding between the two and if there's love there will be understanding that will overcome that.

I think I mentioned one time during this week that if two people love one another and try to do more for the other person than they do for them you won't have a problem in a marriage. It's when we become selfish that problems do arise even in the physical union. That's why I don't like these pictures these days that they call selfies.

I know what they mean. You take a picture of yourself maybe with some famous person. I saw one recently and the person was getting their graduation and they want a picture of the professor and them and so they took their iPod or device up and beside the professor and clicked and they call that a selfie and I guess there's other kinds.

I don't mind doing that just to me the word selfie there's enough selfie about all of us that I don't think we need to have a name for it but getting back to this where there's a problem and where there's love it's a good thing to sit down and talk about it and sort out what can be done because in some cases even doctors can help and make suggestions that can help in some situations. So I think I'll leave it there that may not completely answer the question but if anyone personally wants to email me about any of this subject that I can go into more detail I would be glad to do that. I actually been thinking about another subject that I haven't time to talk about tonight and I plan when I get home to do a write-up on it and then where there might be need maybe not here but could be somewhere anywhere I will be emailing out some kind of document to help people with different subjects on this particular umbrella of subjects.