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Brokenness
Paris Reidhead

Paris Reidhead (1919 - 1992). American missionary, pastor, and author born in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Raised in a Christian home, he graduated from the University of Minnesota and studied at World Gospel Mission’s Bible Institute. In 1945, he and his wife, Marjorie, served as missionaries in Sudan with the Sudan Interior Mission, working among the Dinka people for five years, facing tribal conflicts and malaria. Returning to the U.S., he pastored in New York and led the Christian and Missionary Alliance’s Gospel Tabernacle in Manhattan from 1958 to 1966. Reidhead founded Bethany Fellowship in Minneapolis, a missionary training center, and authored books like Getting Evangelicals Saved. His 1960 sermon Ten Shekels and a Shirt, a critique of pragmatic Christianity, remains widely circulated, with millions of downloads. Known for his call to radical discipleship, he spoke at conferences across North America and Europe. Married to Marjorie since 1943, they had five children. His teachings, preserved online, emphasize God-centered faith over humanism, influencing evangelical thought globally.
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In this sermon, the speaker begins by explaining that he felt compelled by the Lord to change his prepared message and instead focus on a specific scripture from Exodus chapter 32. He shares the story of Pastor Roland Brown, who had strayed from God's purpose for his life but experienced a powerful encounter with God in his room. Pastor Brown confessed his sins and fully surrendered to God, leading to a great anointing and a fruitful ministry. The speaker emphasizes the importance of brokenness before God and dealing with anything that grieves the Holy Spirit.
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Now for just a few minutes this evening, I would like to press the claims that have been presented. I wondered why I felt so strangely moved to change the message that I'd prepared and will bring at another time, but I felt drawn of the Lord today to take you back to the Scripture we considered this morning and to raise out of it one sentence, one phrase. So if you'll turn to Exodus chapter 32 and allow me to read from verses 25 through 30, that word will appear in its proper setting and we will consider it together tonight. Will you then remember as we look at this that the setting as we've considered it in the past and allow the Spirit of God to enforce the text from the context of what has been delivered to us by Pastor Paul. We might use this as a frame of reference and see something of what is involved in answering the claim of the text. So Exodus 32 verse 25, And when Moses saw that the people were naked, for Aaron had made them naked, unto their shame among their enemies, then Moses stood in the gate of the camp and said, Who is on the Lord's side? Let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves to gather unto him. And he said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor. And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses. And there fell of the people that day about three thousand men. For Moses had said, Consecrate yourselves today to the Lord, even every man upon his son and upon his brother, that he may bestow upon you a blessing this day. We have been seeking to understand what the Bible means by the word repentance. We saw it first in Genesis 6. We saw it in Exodus 32. And we're seeing it illustrated now in this that's before us. This is the key to revival. This is the key to blessing as we see here. This is also the grounds of forgiveness and pardon. And so repentance must be viewed in its scriptural setting. By it we do not mean we've clearly seen sorrow. Sorrow works it, but it can't be equated with it. Repentance is a change of mind, of will, of intention, of purpose, and consequently of action. And we see it here. This is the purpose of these days of meditation and study and giving ourselves to the word of God because we're firmly convinced that the church in America is unblessable in its present state. There's no evidence that I can see that corporately any church is moving into the place of blessing, but at the same time God is gloriously working at the present time in our land. You may not be aware of it, but the Lord is working and he's working with individuals. We find that these individuals are from almost every communion. It's quite amazing these days to meet people that have come from Anglican background or Episcopal background that find that God has wonderfully met them. They've been gloriously saved and wonderfully brought into fellowship with Christ and with each other. We also find that there's happening today a very strange thing. It hasn't happened since the time of Wesley that God by his spirit is sovereignly raising up groups of people. You know as a church that for six years I've been with you. I've been sounding this cry. I've been saying to you that the move of God is going to come from small groups of people that meet together in homes under the auspices of the church fellowship and in accord with its interest and purpose. But now we discover that there's something like 150 such groups a week that are being formed across the land. The American Baptists have become so concerned about it that they've taken my dear good friend William Nelson from his pastoral duties and made him editor of the magazine Frontiers. The whole purpose of the magazine is to encourage among the American Baptists the meeting together of their people to seek God, to study the word, to nourish and encourage themselves in the truths of the Lord. For they realize that as important as the church services are, they do not meet the need for fellowship and for sharing of the things of Christ. This is happening in many different groups in many parts of the land. And it's an encouraging thing. But the one thing that characterizes everything that is of the Lord and from the Lord is that it begins with brokenness, brokenness because of sin, a true dealing with everything that grieves God. And it's thus that we're studying together this word tonight. You know the situation. I needn't review it except to say that as Moses came down from the mountain with the law in his hands, he saw that Israel had made a golden calf. They'd sat down to eat. They'd risen up to play and that Aaron had made them naked. He was angry. He was deservedly angry, properly angry. And his anger was but a feeble expression of the greater wrath and anger of a just and holy God. Remember that Moses was kin to these people and was capable of every sin of which they had committed. But he had come from the presence of God that his face glowed with the glory of God. And so he reflected the anger of God towards sin. The statement that he made, that which he uttered in the hearing of the people was this, who is on the Lord's side? This is the question the Spirit of God presses to our hearts tonight. We will notice that he has identified the problem. There are obviously two sides and one must take sides. He was quite aware of the fact that whereas Israel corporately was worshiping the idols, there may have been, and as the case was, there were some that had not bowed the knee to the golden ox or calf. And so he said, there must be a separation. There must be a delineation. There must be a line drawn. And this is that which is characterizing the move of God in every age and again in ours in the middle of the twentieth century. You must take sides on moral issues. You cannot remain neutral. You cannot escape the responsibility of the twentieth-century Church in America. No land has had so much light. No land has had so much truth. No land has been so exposed to the purity of the gospel as this land of ours. And yet we find today that the land is seeing an unprecedented increase in drunkenness, in immorality, in divorce, in juvenile delinquency, in every nature and kind of crime. Robert Kennedy said just recently, on the basis of the statistics which had been compiled in the Justice Department, that if something is not done to stop the moral erosion in America, the tremendous increase of crime of every sort and kind and in every age, within ten years, anarchy will be the rule of our land and we will be past the point of help. Ten years has been given before the disintegration and the erosion of the cultural foundations and standards that have made the land would have whatever degree of greatness that it may have had to be seen by such a one who sits not as a Christian, viewing it from the standpoint of sine I in the revelation of God's law, but as an administrator who's responsible to protect the constitutional rights of our people. He says that in another 10 years, if it goes unchecked and unabated, it will be past the point of help. Lawlessness will have increased to the point that all the law protective agencies will be utterly inadequate to take care of them. When you think of 22,000 policemen in the city of New York, riding herd on 8 million and more people, everyone who has the capacity to commit the crimes committed by the violence, you see that it's something more than child's play that faces us. And you recognize that when people lose their respect for law, lose their respect for those standards and principles and mores, which have been the very structure of our country and of any land, that it is impossible to deal with it. I believe that the Church of Jesus Christ is facing a crisis today, that that crisis is going to move in two directions. The first is going to be a greatly increased rate of ecumenical cohesion and going together. I expect that in these next 10 to 15 years to find, as we've stated again and again in your hearing, that it will be absolutely impossible for anyone to have preside in a service such as I am now doing here, unless he has the approval of the National Council of Churches and their local representative, the Council of Bishops or the Council of Rabbis. This is already an accomplished fact. It simply hasn't been pressed to the point that it will be shortly if the present trends continue. Now, is it our responsibility to fight this? I grew up in the kind of a climate that was utterly opposed to ecumenism, absolutely opposed to everything that was in any wise identified with this movement known as the World Council of Churches or the old Federal Council of Churches or the present National Council of Churches. I was taught by one of the grand men of the Church, W.B. Riley of Minneapolis, Minnesota, who was both pastor and teacher and personal friend and who was the founder of the World's Christian Fundamentals Association. And the question that rises then as I look back over 25 years of ministry is this. Is it our responsibility to fight ecumenism? Is it our responsibility corporately to try and stop it? I've prayed against it, worked against it, campaigned against it, done everything I could to stop it. And the harder I've worked and harder I've prayed, the faster it's grown. It seems as though my efforts have been simply spiritual protein to nourish it. And it's grown the faster because of it. Is it therefore that God has failed or is it that he is simply allowing it to be gathered together in such a way that it will be to serve whatever function it can? My own personal feeling, and I share it with you, is this, that the Church is to America today the same thing that a trellis is to a grapevine. I do not believe that organized religion in this land is the vehicle for revival blessing. I see no evidence anywhere in any particular that it's coming this way, but rather that we recognize the great denominations and the structure that's here as part of the history of Christianity in America as being a trellis that supports the culture of the Western world. And who's going to go and cut the trellis down? We can't fight it, for if we fight it, we are destroying the last support for the people that have nothing more than this. I do not believe, on the other hand, we can reform it. It seems utterly unreformable. What is happening today is that the Spirit of God is calling to individuals to separate themselves unto him, not necessarily in an organic separation from the local church that's a part of the National Council of Churches, that's up to the conscience of the individual. But the issue is this, are we going to answer the call of the Spirit of God to us personally and individually? The vehicle of blessing is not, as far as I can see, going to be this incorporation or any similar incorporation or identical incorporation, but it's going to be the individual that hears the Spirit of God saying, who is on the Lord's side and has taken sides, not so much against something, but for something. You remember that they turned to God from idols to serve the living and the true God. You must take sides. You cannot remain neutral. If you are not on the Lord's side, then you are on the side of his enemies. And this we see as implicit in the Word. Come, follow me, was what our Lord Jesus said. Who is on the Lord's side is what Moses said. And the extension of it is in this direction, that God is asking you not to become enraged about what the World Council of Churches is doing, though you may have ample reason for that, or to become a campaigner and a picketer of the National Council of Churches, though you might have interest or reason in doing that. The issue isn't in this at all. The issue is, are you prepared to meet God on his terms as far as you personally are concerned? One can have an absolutely right view of ecumenism and be properly opposed to it, but unless that heart is adequately committed to Christ and separated from the things that grieve God, it is useless to him. And so it's my conviction tonight, as I stand before you, that God wants to deal with you and he wants to meet you and he wants to bless you, and this becomes a personal matter. And we're not going to be able to deal with it on the broad issues of what's going to happen in this group or that group. This, I think, is in adequate hands. God is going to do as seems good in his sight. But the question that ought to be of primary importance to your heart tonight is this. Are you in the place where you are holy on the Lord's side? This doesn't simply mean in terms of an identification, a label, a banner, or a badge, or a symbol. This means in a commitment to the sovereignty of Jesus Christ that's so complete, that's so total, that it touches every area of your life. Are you prepared to stand with Jesus Christ against sin and for righteousness and truth and holiness, even if you have to stand alone? If no one stands with you, are you prepared to say, I am going to keep a conscience void of offense toward God and toward men? If this happens, you will discover that others are emboldened by your courage and your obedience to rally to this point and to stand with you. But it may not be that this you have the joy of seeing. Nevertheless, if you are on the Lord's side, you're on the Lord's side in everything. You're on the Lord's side in every issue. You're on the Lord's side when nobody else is. You simply have made a commitment, and on the level and place of this commitment, you'll stand if you have to stand all alone. Have you come to that place? This is what it means to be on the Lord's side. I do not believe that Levi, the tribe here in Israel that moved to Moses, went and took a caucus to find out how many felt that they should go with Moses and how many felt they should stay with Aaron. I don't believe that they decided what's the best policy and what's going to be for our best interests and which will secure our most rapid promotion. I think that God had done something in their hearts, and with one accord they stepped, because they said if we stand alone, we stand with truth, we stand with righteousness, we stand with God and his will and in his way. You'll have to stand with God if you're on his side when others apostatize. You'll have to recognize that weak natures always go with the crowd, and the tendency is going to be for you to be moved by the current. But it's only dead fish that float downstream with the current. The live fish is prepared to go upstream over the rapids and the rocks to find the place where it's going to mean life and fruitfulness and fulfillment. And so if you're on the Lord's side, even though others apostatize, others turn from the truth, others abandon standards, others go in the way that seems to be the easiest for them, you have committed yourself to stand with him. You always have to remember that there's a contagion in numbers, and you have to recognize that you're going to be tempted many, many times to just go the way others are going. But if you have committed yourself to stand on the Lord's side, though eleven tribes stay with Aaron, because of conviction, because of what you believe, because of what's happened inside of you, because there came a place and a point in time that you said, I'm going to live to please him, that you are going to do it. I think I can illustrate it from a personal experience. Yesterday afternoon, I was with my family, and I had enjoyed the time I'd spent with them and had missed them greatly. And as I got into the car, I was committed to come back to New York to be with you today and to speak last evening to a group of people that had very cordially invited me to minister to them. I didn't really want to come from an emotional point of view, from a family point of view. My wife stood there with little Julia in her arms, and Julia was saying bye, and Daddy would go by. And it was awfully hard for me to get into the car. It was awfully hard for me to start the motor, to back it around and head it in the direction of miles away from them. But I had made a commitment. I'd put myself on the side of responsibility. I'd put myself on the side of ministry. Oh, there were many times along the way when I saw that most of the traffic was going the other way. And you might have said, well, they're going away to enjoyment. They're going away to pleasure. And I was coming to responsibility as well as to privilege. And so it was not only a decision to go, but there had to be an appropriate action. And then it isn't just to get your car headed toward New York. There are many curves along the way. There are many corners along the way. And when you're on a perfectly straight road, remember there's a crown in the road, and the car tends to follow the crown and to drift off. So you have to first make up your mind to go. You have to make up your mind to go in spite of natural desire to stay. You have to make up your mind to go in spite of every corner you have to turn and every drift that you feel and every pull that you feel. And regardless of whether most of the traffic's going the other way, you still have to correct every deviation. It isn't just a decision. Do you understand? To stand on the Lord's side isn't just a decision. It's a decision that you implement. That every crosswind and every drift, every twist of the current and every tendency to make you deviate. We're driving even down the thruway, as protected as it is and as wide as it is. There's a tendency on the part of the car to follow the slope of the road or to follow the pull of the wind, and you have to correct that. It's a myriad of minute corrections that get you from one place to another in these days of traffic. And so to stand on the Lord's side is not simply to make a decision someplace at a meeting that you're going to give your all to Christ, but it means every day and in every situation and in every circumstance you decide against anything other than the will of God, as that will has been revealed. Who is on the Lord's side? Not just did he make a decision back there at some point. He had to do that. But he had to correct every deviation apart from that decision. And thus it is we understand something of what it means. To be faithful to the obligation of being on the Lord's side means at times that we have to absolutely break with other interests and other concerns. God said through Moses to Levi, tell them to go through and slay their own brethren and slay their fathers. The dearest thing to them had to go, their warmest interests, their most cordial concerns nevertheless had to feel the cutting edge of the sword. And this is what it means to be on the Lord's side. It isn't just at the happy moment when you stand in front of an altar and you make a commitment, but it is the implementing of that commitment. Tomorrow morning when you get up and the next day and the next day and the next day and day after day after day, the whole pilgrimage through. This is what our Lord is calling. This is what he's asking. This is the implications of the word repentance. It is a decision that you reach that you're going to have a new government, a new control, a new force, a new direction in your life. But having made the decision, then you have to measure every future test, every future danger, every future possibility. Does it meet that decision to which I have committed myself? Now, my dear, have you repented? This is the question of questions. Have you come to that place where you have seen that the Lord Jesus said, come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me. This is what is involved in coming to him. Not simply to accept salvation and pardon, but to accept yoking with him, to accept a new government and a new control and a new force. And this is what it means to be on the Lord's side. Tomorrow, as you go to your place of business, there's going to be the possibility of doing it the world's way, which is with compromise, with shame, with grief to the Holy Ghost, or doing it God's way. Now, if you're on the Lord's side, then you're simply going to do it the Lord's way. You won't have to fight an issue back there. You won't have to tomorrow morning go face the problem. You have already committed yourself sometime in the past. Perhaps for some of you, the first time is tonight. But this is exactly what is involved by repentance. This is what is meant. A change of intention, a change of purpose, a change of direction, and consequently, a change of action. And it means that at any time that you discover that you have turned on the wrong corner, whether it be in your thoughts or being unclean and critical and selfish and proud and arrogant and mean, whatever, you have turned the wrong corner, you instantly judge it to be off the track. You deal with it there. You confess it there. You acknowledge your failure by backing around and going and getting on the road again. And if in the case of turning off the road, you bump fenders with somebody, you have to deal with that too. You have to ask for forgiveness and pardon because it gives evidence of brokenness of spirit. Now, I believe this, that if we're to see, if you're to see God work and enter into all that he has for you, it's a call to come to him on his side. And this invariably means taking sides with God against yourself. The dearest and sweetest and most precious thing you have, you have to recognize is there. The dearest thing you have is yourself. And so if anyone is ever to know God in anything other than the most, most elementary manner, it means taking sides with God against ourselves in union with him in death. And this is called death to self. It's identification with Christ. And it's just a deeper extension of repentance. Back here when you first heard Jesus Christ, it was to deal with sins. And you said, I'll stop this. I'll stop that. I'll deal with this. I'll deal with the other. But now you're coming to the place that you realize the source of the problem is yourself. And if you, however, have truly repented, then you're prepared to bring yourself to that place where God brought you, namely to the cross, and see yourself united with Christ in death. Has this happened? Have you taken sides with God against yourself? Do you do it? Do you keep short accounts with him? Are you prepared to meet the issue? Oh, dear friend, God has so much more for us than we've ever realized. He has blessing for us beyond what we've ever experienced. None of us have gone to the depths of his love or to the heights of his blessing, but he is determined that this should be to those that are on his side. And the evidence that you are on his side, that everything that is against him and are not on his side, you instantly deal with. Are you prepared? Do you love him enough? Are you so hungry for God and God's best in your life that you're prepared to deal with just anything and everything that grieves him? I think of Pastor Roland Brown of the Parkside Baptist Church in Chicago, a man who was laboring sincerely and earnestly and yet so signally failing to fulfill his responsibilities to his people. He heard about the meetings down at Winona Lake. Though he wasn't himself accustomed to go there, he went. He was greatly impressed with what he heard from the platform as there was an exaltation of Christ and a declaration of his full provision for the child of God. And Pastor Roland Brown, as it's recorded by Peter Marshall in his book, Mr. Jones, Meet the Master in the Sermon Research Unlimited, he tells how Pastor Brown went into the tabernacle, listened, went into his little garret room where he'd taken a room in the community, and there he broke. He had given himself to the ministry. He'd studied. He'd prepared. He was a pastor. But somehow along the line, he'd gotten off the way. Other interests had crowded in, other concerns. He'd become occupied with so many things less than God's very best purpose for him. But that afternoon in that hot little garret room, he broke before God. He acknowledged sin. He confessed the things God showed him. He took sides with God against himself. He didn't defend. He didn't explain. He didn't apologize for himself. He simply broke. And everything that God showed him, he dealt with. And there that afternoon as he waited in that little garret room, having dealt absolutely honestly with the things that the Lord had shown him about his own heart, just as it were going through the camp of his life and putting the sword to anything that grieved the Holy Spirit, he then just brought himself an utter abandonment, an utter consecration, and the whole pouring out of his life and love and an absolutely new dedication to the Lord Jesus Christ. And God wonderfully came upon Pastor Roland Brown with a great anointing of the Spirit of God. And he went back to his people with a ministry that blessed them. And now he's gone around the world in ministry as he has found that day that God was so anxious to meet him, so anxious to bless him, so anxious to make him fruitful and useful and enrich his life and his testimony. But it didn't come until he heard the Spirit of God say, Who is on the Lord's side? Let him come unto me. I wonder if the Spirit of God is in calling to your heart in that way and asking you to just check up and see whether you truly have committed yourself to the Lord's side, to the Lord's way, and whether or not you've been dealing with each thing, each item of your behavior, of your attitude. Beloved, I'm going to press with you as God is my help until you have broken before the Lord. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to bruise you. But oh, how I long for you to know what God has for you, that you can be the instrument and the vehicle of blessing. But I assure you that if you will study this book and if you will read the history of revival and the history of the Church, you will find that God only meets the broken heart. And when you've come to the place that anything and everything that grieves him grieves you, and you share his concern and you share his burden, and as you search your heart by the Word of God, you deal with what he shows you, brokenness is not an end. Brokenness is not simply the destination. It's but a means. But it's the not without which of blessing. And so as I look into your faces tonight and know from conversations that some of you've said, oh, we're so hungry to be used of God. We want our lives to count for eternity. And then listen to the Spirit of God, who across the centuries echoes the Word of Moses, who is on the Lord's side. Let him come unto me. Let him come unto me. And it's the Lord Jesus Christ saying to you, come in acknowledgment of your failure. Come in acknowledgment of your sin. Come in acknowledgment of your uncleanness. Come in acknowledgment of your need. Come, I'll bring cleansing. I have pardon. I have deliverance. I have victory. Oh, more than that, says he. Come out from among them and be separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing, and I will receive you. He offers everything himself. Can you tonight, dear Christian friend, you say, oh, I know I've been pardoned. I know I've been forgiven. But I want to ask you, do you have the witness for Christ you ought to have? Are you on the Lord's side in the office? Are you on the Lord's side in your neighborhood? Do the people know that you belong to Jesus Christ, that you're holy is? And with their brokenhearted need, do they come to you because you've lived in the apartment next to them? And somehow the radiant presence of Christ is illumined even through the walls that separate until they know that there's someone I can turn to in my need. Who is on the Lord's side? Let him come unto me. But what does it mean to come? It means you have to take sides against everything, brethren and fathers and friends. Anything that grieves God grieves you enough to deal with it. And it's going to be costly, and it's going to hurt. But oh, he offers himself, the fullness of himself, of his presence, of his blessing. And then it isn't just you working for him, but it's the Lord Jesus living in you. It's Paul's testimony. I am crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me. Who's on the Lord's side? Let him come unto me. You may have to stand alone. You may have to stand against apostasy. You may have to stand against your dearest, nearest. Are you on the Lord's side? Let's bow in prayer. Look into your heart. Let's take a few moments for examination. We sing that little song, while on others thou art calling, do not pass me by. There's some of you in the past that have felt the Spirit of God speaking to your heart, and you've met him. There's been brokenness. This isn't the end. This is but a means. Just as plowing a field isn't the end of the farmer's purpose. It's a means. He has to break up that soddy ground. He has to bury those weeds. He has to get the roots broken, and he turns the soil over. Why? Because he likes to see just lovely black soil in strips across the field. No, that's not why. And then he runs the disc over it until he's pulverized the clods. Why? Because he's angry with clods. No. Why? Because he wants a harvest. And he couldn't have a harvest unless he was willing to plow up the fallow ground. And so it is that God wants a harvest of glory for Jesus Christ. He wants a harvest of praise for his Son. And you say, Lord, revive us. And he says, plow up the fallow ground of your hearts. Who's on the Lord's side? Deal with this the way I see it. Deal with it as I would deal with it. Until finally you come to the place where you say, well, Lord, I've been waiting for you to revive me. He said, no, it's not a question of waiting for me. Are you going to make a decision? Are you going to deal with the things in your life that grieve me? Are you going to deal with bitterness? Are you going to deal with anger? Are you going to deal with jealousy? Are you going to deal with vanity? Are you going to deal with unclean imagination? Are you going to deal with selfishness? Are you going to deal with wrath? Are you going to deal with these things which grieve me? Or are you going to just try to laugh them off and pretend they aren't there? Oh, you've got to take the sword of the Spirit and go into your life. And whatever the sword says is wrong has to be slain by judging it, by confessing it, by forsaking it. Then he cleanses. And this is plowing up the fallow ground of the heart. Who's on the Lord's side? Do you know something? If you're on the Lord's side, you're going to do just that. This is the evidence that you're on the Lord's side. Oh, it isn't that you signed a card ten years ago. That was important. But that didn't prove you're on the Lord's side. The evidence that you are on his side is that tonight, with brokenness of heart, you deal with anything and everything that grieves him. And tomorrow, when something comes into your life that grieves him with brokenness of heart, you'll deal with that. Because somewhere back here, your heart broke over sin, and you hate sin, and you want only to please God. Now, this isn't the end. This is the means. But are you prepared to allow the Spirit of God to deal in your life? While our heads are bowed and eyes are closed, God is speaking, and he's speaking to perhaps you tonight. And you'll have to say, yes, God has been showing me that there's been so much unbrokenness in my life. I'm so weary of this. I'm so weary of this failure. I'm so weary of shaming him. I'm so weary of the poor testimony I've had where I work and live. People have failed to see Christ. I'm such a failure. But all tonight, I'm just prepared to recognize that God is calling to me, and I want to be on his side. So I'm taking sides with God against myself. I'm not going to explain. I'm not going to condone. I'm not going to defend. I'm just going to confess and forsake everything that grieves him. While we just wait in prayer, I wonder if this is your purpose, if you wouldn't just like to signify it tonight by standing, and in your standing say, yes, I'm at the end of myself, the utter end of myself, and I'm going to turn to the Lord's side and deal with the things he's shown me. Would you stand right where you are right now? Who's on the Lord's side? Let him come unto me. Are you? Thank you. Yes, yes, I see that. Are there others? God bless you. With heads bowed and eyes closed, I'm going to turn tonight. I'm just at the end of myself. Would you stand? God is speaking to your heart right now. We're not going to linger long. Who's on the Lord's side? Oh, I wish I could go to the people that room next to you. I wish I could talk with the people that work with you. I'd soon find out whether or not you're on the Lord's side. Put yourself in their place tonight. What would they have you do? What would the Lord Jesus have you do? Wouldn't he have you step over with him, take your stand all alone with him? Join us now right where you are. God bless you. Yes, thank you. Anymore? Are you here? Stand right where you are. Say, by your standing, I'm stepping over to his side. Tonight I'm through. I'm going to deal absolutely honestly with everything he shows me. I'm going to meet him on his terms. I'm not going to rest until he rests with me. I believe that if I confess my sin, he'll forgive me. If I abandon and surrender all I have to him, he'll receive it. And so I'm not coming in vain. I know there's cleansing. I know there's victory. I know there's power. And tonight I'm just through and weary and tired, not coming over to the Lord's side. Would you stand? Join us. I'm going to ask this of you that are standing. I want the deaconesses and the elders, if they will, just to get up and go into Wilson Chapel. And you that are standing, go with them, please. Just slip out. My eyes are closed. Heads are bowed. Go into Wilson Chapel with the elders and the deaconesses. And I'll be in in just a few moments. And we'll have a time of instruction and prayer. And pray on this. Seek God's victory and blessing in your life. And seek to meet and help you in your particular problems. So right now, elders, deaconesses, will you go with these that are standing? And we will just have this time alone with God. Now, others of you that may not have stood, would you join them now? You go right now. God bless you. Yes, thank you. We're grateful. Someone else? Oh, dear heart, God has so much for you. But it all begins with brokenness. It all begins when you come to the end of yourself. An acknowledgment of failure. An acknowledgment of need. Confession of sin. I wonder, before we close, is there someone that would say by the upraised hand, if I had done what I ought to have done, I'd have gone tonight. And I didn't go. But I want you to pray for me. Would you raise your hand and be remembered? Yes, I see it. God bless you. Other others? If I'd done what I ought, I see it. God bless you, yes. Yes, I see it. Yes, thank you. If anyone else, if I'd have done what I ought to have done, I'd have gone. Yes, I see it. Anyone else? Thank you. You can take it down now. I see your hand. Now you're still free to go. Father, thou knowest the hearts of this people. The call of the Spirit of God is who is on the Lord's side. Let him come unto me. There's pardon. There's forgiveness. There's victory. There's blessing. Grant that these whose hands have been raised shall realize that even now thou art waiting and calling and drawing. We thank thee for thy presence. We thank thee for thy working. We pray for these that have come that there'll be victory and blessing brought in their lives. And these whose hands have been raised won't rest until they rest in the finished work of Christ. We thank thee thou art working. Thank thee for those into whose lives thou hast brought victory. Lead them on, on, into all that is for them. Lead them on. Let us stand for the benediction. I'm going to ask again tonight that you go quietly. You that can stay for the film will go upstairs into Fellowship Hall as quickly and as quietly as you can. And you that must go, know all pleas. Will you not speak except in the quietest whisper until you're in the hallway? For there are those that are here praying and seeking God tonight. Father, we thank thee for thy presence. We thank thee for Paul, Pastor Paul, and for Miss Cridland, and for their labor of love. We thank thee for what our hearts have felt. And as we think of the background of these that have stepped out in the midst of cruel heathen darkness to follow the Lord when it cost even their life, we thank thee that we live in this land. But oh, Father, how thou dost need a church. How dost thou dost need Christians that have met thee on thy terms. And so, Heavenly Father, we pray that as we go, we will go enriched by what we've heard and felt. Bless the picture, and grant, Lord, that the seeing of it shall bless us with the blessing of burden for the multitudes who know not Christ, that are still in heathen darkness. Now may thy grace and mercy and peace from God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit be and abide with us now and evermore. Amen.
Brokenness
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Paris Reidhead (1919 - 1992). American missionary, pastor, and author born in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Raised in a Christian home, he graduated from the University of Minnesota and studied at World Gospel Mission’s Bible Institute. In 1945, he and his wife, Marjorie, served as missionaries in Sudan with the Sudan Interior Mission, working among the Dinka people for five years, facing tribal conflicts and malaria. Returning to the U.S., he pastored in New York and led the Christian and Missionary Alliance’s Gospel Tabernacle in Manhattan from 1958 to 1966. Reidhead founded Bethany Fellowship in Minneapolis, a missionary training center, and authored books like Getting Evangelicals Saved. His 1960 sermon Ten Shekels and a Shirt, a critique of pragmatic Christianity, remains widely circulated, with millions of downloads. Known for his call to radical discipleship, he spoke at conferences across North America and Europe. Married to Marjorie since 1943, they had five children. His teachings, preserved online, emphasize God-centered faith over humanism, influencing evangelical thought globally.